4243 lines
1.1 MiBLFS
Plaintext
4243 lines
1.1 MiBLFS
Plaintext
{
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"Contributors": [
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"Kuntal Kumar Pal"
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],
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"Source": [
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"scruples"
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],
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"URL": [
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"https://github.com/allenai/scruples"
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],
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"Categories": [
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"Ethics Classification"
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],
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"Reasoning": [
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"Ethics",
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"Reasoning on Social Interactions",
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"Ethical Judgement"
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],
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"Definition": [
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"Given a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation, judge whether or not a specific person is wrong here. Answer 'not answerable' if more information is required and 'answerable' if all the information is sufficient to answer who is wrong in this situation."
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],
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"Input_language": [
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"English"
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],
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"Output_language": [
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"English"
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],
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"Instruction_language": [
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"English"
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],
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"Domains": [
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"Story",
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"Narrative"
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],
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"Positive Examples": [
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{
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"input": "So on one hand I don't think it's the best thing but at the same time it's led her to talking about how she cut(s) herself and a kid who told her to shoot herself which she wouldn't have talked about otherwise.",
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"output": "not answerable",
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"explanation": "Here there is no information about how severe the situation was or what was her reaction after telling this to the author. We also do not know whether she told this on purpose or not. More information is needed to determine who is at fault here."
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},
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{
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"input": "Pretty much was hanging out with two friends. I was watching the Lakers game. They won at the very last minute and I immediately hopped up and celebrated. Before I could even finish celebrating one friend started going on about how the Lakers suck. It just pissed me off so much I screamed at her to get out my room until she left. \n\n\nShe knows I'm a huge fan and she likes them too. She was only saying it to antagonize me. Am I the dick here?",
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"output": "answerable",
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"explanation": "It is very clear that the author is at wrong since he shouted at his friend and asked her to leave the room and the friend left without a word."
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}
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],
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"Negative Examples": [
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{
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"input": "So I was telling my brother how my boss is super toxic to me. He talks to other coworkers in front of me but ignores me and doesnt even aknowledge my presence This results in a lot of stress on my behalf. \n\nMy brother keeps suggesting this is all my fault and there is something fundamentally wrong with me that is making my boss act like this.\n\nI got mad at him and left. ATA?",
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"output": "answerable",
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"explanation": "There is not much context of when and how the argument with brother happen. We also do not know what exactly the brother said. The author may have interpreted differently. Also after leaving from the conversation what happened is also not clear. So more information is required to answer who is at wrong here."
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},
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{
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"input": "So today at my school in my science class where got done taking a quiz. The dude I sit next to who I will call M was talking to some other kids. The teacher told M that he wasn't allowed to talk for the rest of class. Me and M are kind of friends so I started messing with him. I was saying dumb stuff like, \"I heard you where gay. Is that true.\" He would then hurt me (like flicking me or gripping the back of my neck) and push me across the room on my chair. (The chairs had wheels) After a few times of him pushing me he then opened up his computer. He wrote \" (my name) you are a fag. You will never get a girlfriend and no one will ever love you. You're worthless.\" He hit me with a low blow since I have a bad self image of myself and I think I wilp never get a girlfriend. I never even dated a girl. I then said, \"I heard your girlfriend friend was going to break up with you.\" He then got up out of his chair and started screaming at me. He was saying to never talk about his girlfriend again. After he calmed down I wrote on my computer, \"we both hit low blows on each other. Truce?\" He then got up again and started screaming at me. The teacher kept us after class and had us apologize to each other. So was I the asshole in this situation?",
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"output": "not answerable",
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"explanation": "No more information is required since it is evident that EVERYBODY is wrong here for saying inappropriate things to each other"
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}
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],
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"Instances": [
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{
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"id": "task503-5e34274caf054a4dbdc2142139d6a47c",
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"input": "For clarification, I’m 17, and I’m not a militant atheist, I’ve just never been interested in religion. My dad has been increasingly insistent regarding my “relationship” with God, and although I’ve told him gently before that religion is not for me (never resulting in a full-blown confrontation), he continues to almost preach at me with a pretty obvious lack of subtlety. Am I right in even thinking this is a real issue or am I an asshole for not just letting him be happy in his newly revitalized faith?",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-6d5289b52f1a4e308f8478cb319b979c",
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"input": "I’ll try to keep this short and sweet. Me and my roomate, let’s call him Jorge, we’re hanging and playing games until my second roomate got home and asked to use the switch to purchase something.\n\nI said sure, and pause the game to exit, and the game I paused instantly. I was like “oops” and went to pause it again and the same thing happened. Then I realized it was Jorge, so I just told home “Dude stop that” and he kept doing it. I said “Fine I can just do this”, and closed the game and handed the controller over to my other roomate.\n\nI then proceeded to tell him :”Man I hate when people keep pressing buttons and shit when you’re telling them to stop and they just don’t and say they didn’t press anything”\n\nAt this point Jorge decided to freak: “I never fucking said I wasn’t pressing anything did I? Get over yourself dude “ and began to spit obscenities at me, which got me very frustrated and I reciprocated.\n\nI just wanna know, did I do something wrong besides get mad that he was insulting me? I know that was uncalled for but it was just a defense mechanism.\n\nHe gives me a lot of crap and the moment he gets a little offended by anything he freaks, so give it to me straight, who’s the asshole?",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-e3eb59cb8fc447988714900875e20653",
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"input": "So here’s the thing, her family can be a rowdy bunch, specifically her mom. I have witnessed her mom having absolutely no respect for employees elsewhere so I’m afraid that it will be the same at our dinner, and I don’t want anyone being rude to the staff as I work in food, and have dealt with customers like that, and it really isn’t pleasant. Her mom is a very nice person when you know her but I think she sometimes lacks empathy. So I told my girlfriend this and she got mad at me for bashing her mom and all that. AITA?",
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"output": [
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"not answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-dbe3083cbb21471c8cc45e82d527b012",
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"input": "So my friend had a crush on a girl, then told me he wasn’t into her anymore. A week later the same girl messages me first and we talk for about 3 weeks and we start hanging out and I end up asking her out. My friend reveals that he does still like her and gets really upset with me. I don’t really know what I can do. But I try to talk to him about how I didn’t actually mean to try to steal the girl he likes. And that I would never mean to hurt him. We reconcile, or so I thought. Me and the girl date for about 2 months and my friend is still upset with me turns out. Me and him are with a bunch of other friends and we have an hour and a half conversation about it and it goes really well. We both reconcile and and hug it out. Then another time about 2 weeks after I broke up with the girl he started messaging her and asked me for advice on how to get her nudes. I tell him I’m of course not going to do that. He then texts me about 3 months after we had the hour long conversation saying he hated me for what I did with the girl and that I didn’t apologize. Which isn’t true. I do feel bad and I really didn’t think he liked her anymore. I’ve said sorry several times and he doesn’t seem to really care. My other friend liked her before him too and he tried to get her while my other friend liked her before him. Which is ironic bc that’s what he’s mad at me for. So yeah maybe I am a dick for this, I really don’t know. He seems really mad at me for it and I might just not be self aware and an ass. AITA?",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-f37c57a53428495eb67c267fdbbd3e7f",
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"input": "None of the names in this post are real. \n\nSo here is how it goes. It starts off by Brenna messaging me on instagram saying “Hey” and I say Hi back. We talk normally and then I ask if I can rant. She says sure and I rant about another situation and I say I am done. I then tell her to rant about something. She then says she hates when people mix her and Danielle together. I then say Danielle is so annoying, and she gets on my nerves. \n\nBut here’s when it starts to go down hill.\nShe then asks what my thoughts on Hearty are, and I reply that she does a lot of stuff for attention (tells people to sit on her lap, jokes about being fat etc.). After I tell her, she promises to not tell her. She then ask me my opinion on X (My ex). I said she sometimes does stuff for attention and can’t always control her emotions (she acts different in front of others, we seemed to kind of like eachother again but then called me a thing in front of others etc.). She then asks why do you hate my friends. I reply with that I don’t hate them but you asked for my opinion. She then asks why am I talking shit. I reply with you asked for my opinion on them. She then facetimes me and what a surprise, they are all at a sleepover. I immediately hang up as I don’t want to get into more drama.\n\nShe (Brenna) then messages me hahahahha and says everyone hates me. I then call her a snake, a liar, and a bad friend (or something similar). She then says it was a joke, but by then I was on the verge of crying. I say that she is an asshole and shouldn’t have done that. She then says I am playing the victim, and that I got payback. She then says it’s hard to pity me, but later says she apoligized even though she didn’t. She then gets her friends to say that’s uncool of me, and to stop playing the victim. They then say “sorry” but then say they aren’t sorry and that I should’ve lied. I explain that it was Danielle’s question and I answered truthfully. I explain more on how messed up what they all did was They all block me and I go to bed.\n\nSo my question is, AITA in the end of this?\n\n",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-f8c32dffd7fb4d01a7eb1c73dd01aca4",
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"input": "To cut a long story short. I live with one of my bestfriends. We've been friends for years and been through a lot of shit together. Ive realised recently that ive started to have feelings for her. I told her my feelings and she said she didn't feel the same. I was bummed out but thought I could get past it. We do everything with eachother and im the only person she really hangs around with when shes not at work. \n\nFast forward to yesterday and she tells me shes going out on a date. My heart fell into my stomach and I realised I can't really continue doing this. Its not healthy for me. Ive decided to go back to my parents for a few weeks to sort myself out but i feel like ive just sort of ditched her and I feel awful about it. She described me as \"her person\" and that she doesnt know what shes going to do without me. Shes not doing great at the moment and I feel like im letting her down. I know shes upset that im going and when we said goodbye it was really hard. We were both struggling not to cry. I just feel like an asshole for ditching her like that due to my feelings towards her. Shes loosing her bestfriend and shes done nothing wrong. \n\nI just feel awful. \n",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-f370f2e22a2547708daf84f5e81f3b08",
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"input": "Girlfriend is currently finishing up placement for school. Her shift starts at 6pm. She texts me whenever she arrives at work/placement everyday without fail. Today, she did not. I received no contact from her after 5:20 pm, didn’t text back, didn’t answer phone calls etc. \n\nAround 9pm, after three and a half hours of no contact and ignored texts and calls I decided I would call the clinic she had her placement at to make sure she had arrived safely. So I called, they said she was there, and that was that. Moments later I start receiving texts from her saying how the secretary at the clinic thought I was controlling and how embarrassed she was. Now I feel like a bag of crap but I’m having a hard time because my intentions, I felt at least, were good. I’m a little upset that the secretary immediately jumped to conclusions as well. \n\nAITA?",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-3dd2cf8a1afd467982edac4d96737d57",
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"input": "AITA for being mad that we can’t do anything simple in my family. \n\nWe planned on going out today but the places chosen where either too expensive for five people or too far away (even tho an hour and twenty minutes isn’t far but whatever). So we scratched going out and decided on staying home and watching a movie with my little brother to make him happy. I was upset about that bc I wanted to go out, and I don’t ever really like going out my house. I only leave for school. \n\nAnyways, my sister and I decided on going to ihop and then to the movies to watch Us later tonight. \n\nIt’s already 7:28 and we haven’t done anything. I’ve been in bed all day, my family hasn’t left the house all day, and my aunt and cousin came over. \n\nI wanted to watch this movie over an hour ago with my brother so we can leave and go to ihop and have time to make the 10 o’clock screening. Ihop closes at 11, and I don’t feel like watching a movie in the hood theater at 11:30 because my family can’t leave the house or do anything right. \n\nMy sister just asked me if we have to go to ihop. I want to yell. Because yes I want to fucking go with her already and have a sister date with her. But no. Can’t go to ihop even tho I’ve been craving it ode. I don’t mean to sound spoiled but, all day I’ve been trying to make plans and none of them happened. None, zip. Zero. \n\nAnd I ask my family a simple question like “do you want to watch Us with us?” And I either get no answer or a dumbass one that has nothing to do with my question. \n\nSo now apparently we might not even go watch the damn movie. This family is just a huge worthless headache. \n\nSo, do I have the right, and AITA for getting mad at all my families bullshit? ",
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"output": [
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"not answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-f46d64181ebb46028130851587f3cca7",
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"input": "My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) recently moved into an apartment together. In doing so, I moved out of my parents’ house.\n\nI have anxiety and regularly (especially in the evening) experience rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, feeling of a “pit” in my stomach, fatigue, etc. This happens more frequently when I am alone. The symptoms became much worse when I left home and went off to college, decreased significantly when I moved home, and have now started up again. I’ve had what I would consider a panic attack/episode at least 3 times in the past week. I believe this has to do with me moving out, my parents separating (very recent) after my dad having an affair, and my boyfriend starting a job that he works in the evenings, which leaves me alone for long stretches of time.\n\nI would like to get an emotional support animal to help alleviate some of these symptoms. My (technically my family’s) puppy at my parents’ house was always able to distract and comfort me when I was particularly anxious. I believe that I would legitimately qualify for an emotional support animal.\n\nHowever, my issue is that doctors (any health professionals really) are major triggers for my anxiety. Because of this, I would like to obtain a letter via an online service or some sort of teletherapy (the most legit I can find). Note that this would NOT be a registration/certification. I know these are scams. There seem to be services out there that can legally do this, but I know that online services like this are often scams that make life more difficult for people with service animals and even “real” ESAs, which I don’t want to support.\n\nSo, Reddit, WIBTA for using a legal but ethically questionable online service for obtaining an ESA letter? Should I just suck it up and see a therapist?",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-46f9dabea06942f3aadf33b27b20cfac",
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"input": "So for background on my cat: I’m in college but still live at home with my mom which means this is also where my cat lives. We have had him for about 16 years since he was a kitten, my parents are divorced but he has always stayed with my mom. He’s got this stomach thing so he’s prone to throwing up if you feed him wrong but he rarely does now (every now and then he’ll have a really bad week and it’s an issue) but he’s had this for 90% of the time we’ve had him at the least. He also does normal cat things like being in birds and other small animals occasionally. Also he’s terrified of other people/animals. \n\nMy mom hates him, and much prefers her dog (that attacks me for trying to walk him. Every night. For the past 6 years... and she’s done nothing about... but that’s another thing) and while I’m gone visiting my dad in another state for 5 days she wants to board my. He is terrified of other people/animals and I feel that this is going to be unnecessarily stressful for him and it’s a waists of money that they (my mom and grandma) want me to pay for (that’s another post). She doesn’t want to deal with him and has said as much. But he’s really simple. If he’s being annoying just feed him and if he doesn’t want food check that the pet door is open and if it is just pet him for a few minutes and he’ll be fine. She doesn’t interact with him because she hates that he vomits and brings in dead things which is normal for cats. And she’s lived with him for 16 years. AITA for not wanting her to board him?",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-73ece7b7f7cd42e68206c62f72e4d29e",
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"input": "Hey guys so some context is necessary. About a year ago, I decided to finally gain my independence and get my dream tattoo. It never happened due to a stupidly massive argument with my parents. I really want to get this tattoo done as it represents my childhood and is very meaningful. It wasn’t going to be a large tattoo, and I clarified this when I tried vehemently to explain to my parents. They were having none of that. \n\nThey accused me of being a failure just because I never went to university and I don’t currently own a car driving license. They keep telling me tattoos are vulgar and hideous, and I feel like they are emotionally blackmailing me. When I tried to explain to them why and where I want it, I was given an ultimatum. Get the tattoo and be homeless with parents who ignore me (so petty) or don’t get the tattoo and make them proud (ugh). \n\nThey believe what I do reflects on how the public views them and they are so scared of being viewed as “bad parents”. It’s honestly getting ridiculous at this point. \n\nMy question to you redditors, is AITA for wanting to take the plunge and just get the tattoo? ",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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]
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},
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{
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"id": "task503-1d3a9ea1aa01477a8ecc578a551703ab",
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"input": "I've known this guy for 3 years so far and he has a habit of seeking attention by initiating conversations with uncomfortable topics. Let's call him A.\n\nHe reminded me of myself in 8th grade. I was an edgy idiot who lived for every opportunity to play devil's advocate and frequently shitposted on 4chan's /b/ board. I think he was a /pol/ denizen (as he calls himself and middle eastern people sandniggers). He tells me he's not racist on the basis that he hates everyone and thinks some groups are worse than others in certain aspects. His definition of racism is that there must be a belief of superiority. My definition is that there must be a belief of hierarchy, I just believe that his version is just a negative hierarchy. I.e. everyone starts at zero and certain groups just go further below zero. E.g. \"niggers\" are different from and below \"black people\". All \"niggers\" are black but not all black people are niggers. Yes he said this. \n\nI wanted to help him dig himself out of what I perceived to be a hole.\n\nTwo years ago, I defended him when he wanted to discuss the etymology of the word \"niggardly\" with a black student in a designated African-American themed house on campus, by giving him the benefit of excusing this attention seeking behavior with probable autism. Although I don't blame the student for reporting this, I think it was knee jerk. However, he was within his full right because A was a guest in his room. I believe this was their first real and direct interaction as A and I totally go to the room to hang out with his roommate Max or Christian. My backing didn't help much as he was removed from the house and was issued a no-contact directive.\n\n However, his next living arrangement was with a Jewish student that straight up lied to get him out of the room. I explained the situation when he asked why A was moving into the room. He was welcoming at first and offered me a beer once I complimented his choice of beer/talked about stouts, but rescinded the offer in a snarky way once he learned I was not 21. I think it was a dick move, but I dont hold it to him as I wouldn't want to jeopardize graduation in year 3 uni either. He claimed that one of our (A and I) friends was smoking in the room.(against university housing rules, but I believe her when she says she didn't) He claimed that the room was a mess. (We were moving his stuff in so things were on the floor and in boxes) The last accusation was that A made a racially charged statement. (Saying \"Oh you're a Jew?\" when it was made apparent) For me that's a grey area because it totally sounds like something A would say, but intonation is key and determines whether or not it is derogatory. I chose to back my friend up regardless because of the other lies that this person made. Apparently he also filed a police report that couldn't be found when A and I looked for the records. \n\nThe end result was that A was moved to a single room and then given a higher bill because it's a single room. I helped him fight that too because he didn't sign up for it. \n\nLater that same year, he shows up to a BLM protest (that I was helping out with) with the intention of asking questions because he was \"invited\"(in my opinion he wasn't). He was just left on the African-American house's email list so he was sent an email inviting him to the protest that also had tons of information. When he showed up, he is recognized by the student as well as a TA (she was a little nutty but fell into his conversational traps in class e.g. got mad to the point of unprofessionalalism) and called a racist. They try to kick him out, non-violently of course, via collective body pushing. At this moment, he throws our mutual friend under the bus and says that she is associated with him which leads to her being kicked out too. \n\nMy roommate asks me to get him out, but I'm too late. On the way home I'm extremely mad and agitated while I explain to him that this wasnt the right thing to do. He defends his actions with the email invitation. Our friend is emotionally distraught and ends up punching him in the face that night. We both believe he showed up to get punched by a protestor, spencer style. Technically he got what he wanted. However, he didn't report her to the police no matter how many times she told him to. After this, he filed a police report against his TA but I don't think anything came of it. Don't quote me on that. \n\nI live with him now, but he doesn't believe he's autistic. I think he toned down the frequency of his trouble some conversation habits and 4chan browsing. He has a girlfriend without a green card so he stopped taking about immigration/makes fun of people getting deported less. He also toned down on self-deprecating racist jokes about the middle east as his girlfriend is vocally bothered by them. They're both middle-eastern. However, he still occasionally comes to me with things that he thinks I'll get heated about. Our mutual friend steve acknowledges that A does this to him too.\n\nE.g. asking me \"do you think that milk is racist?\" while fully knowing that a group of racists on /pol/ tried to make the act of aggressively drinking milk on front of black people a racist gesture. My answer if you care is along the lines of, \"if you do it to be racist, its racist\".",
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"output": [
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"answerable"
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||
]
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||
},
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{
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||
"id": "task503-0ee757dbb4034eef9bc6e920fd9d6e98",
|
||
"input": "36M who recently proposed to my girlfriend (33F). We are in town for the holidays visiting her parents who have been very generous to let us stay in their vacation home an hour by car outside of town. There’s a train that goes into town but most days fiancé’s parents will drive us back and forth into town. Some nights her parents will stay in the vacation home with us, other nights they have their regular home in town so they’ll just drop us off at the vacation home at night, hang out for a bit before heading back into town, then come back out in the morning to drive us into town. \n\nAll has been generally fine, my fiancé’s parents are the absolute nicest people and we get along well. But being in my 30’s especially, I appreciate having a little independence. So rather than being driven around by my fiancé’s parents back and forth from the vacation home, I’ve suggested to my fiancé that we take the train to and from town which takes an extra hour maybe each way.\n\nThe other day as my fiancé and I were on our way back from town on the train, her parents called her and insisted on picking us up from the next train station to drive us back to the vacation home. I told my fiancé that I much rather just stay on the train and walk, I didn’t like sitting in the back of a car in general, and to let them know we’re ok staying on the train. But despite my fiancé’s efforts to tell them that we’re fine and already on a train, her parents persisted (almost getting angry at my fiancé at one point) so my fiancé gave up and told me we had to get off at the next station where her parents were waiting for us. I was annoyed and unsure how to approach the situation, so just sat silently on the car ride home. My fiancé tried explaining to her parents that they were being controlling and her parents cheerfully apologized, but I could see that they found it strange to be apologizing for what they felt was them just being accommodating.\n\nThen the next day, my fiancé had plans to hang out with her parents for the day so I went over to a cousin’s place in town to spend time with him and his family. Later that evening, my fiancé messaged me to let me know that her and her parents would be coming by at 9 pm to pick me up from my cousin’s to take us back to the vacation home. I asked if they could just drop her off at my cousin’s as we were having a nice time catching up, and her and I could find our own way home later. \n\nThat turned out to not be an option, and again my fiancé’s parents insisted on taking us back. I was again annoyed but conceded, and again expressed my annoyance by not saying a word on the ride home. Her parents tried to act as though nothing was wrong. When we got back to the vacation home they offered me food they had cooked but my annoyance at being treated like a child got the best of me and I just excused myself and went to bed early.\n\nAm I the asshole for wanting a little flexibility with my time and my fiancé’s time when we’re on vacation? I understand that some parents will always see their kids as children no matter how old they are, but I felt especially annoyed when I was forced to cut short my time with my cousin who I only see once a year because it was apparently “bedtime.” On the other hand, I am so thankful to have in-laws who accept me as one of their own, as I’ve had ex-girlfriends whose parents didn’t like me for whatever reason and I’m thankful to be not dealing with trying to win approval. \n\nTL;DR: On holiday in my fiancé’s hometown. Fiancé’s parents are overly accommodating and can come off as controlling. On the other hand, fiancé’s parents are genuinely the nicest most generous people you’ll ever meet so I feel bad for coming off as being ungrateful for their hospitality. \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-09e60c5657574f30a41f40fb2b1d46a6",
|
||
"input": "Using a throwaway so my friend doesn't see this.\n\nI (16M) have a good female friend who we'll call Danielle(16F), who I've been friends with for almost 10 years now. Danielle and I did a lot together growing up, and up until like 6 months ago we were inseparable. However 6 months ago she hooked up with a boy we'll call David (17M), and the time we spend together has decreased considerably. I’m fine with this, and I couldn't be happier for her finding someone who really cares about her in a way I can't.\n\nHowever, what I'm slightly irritated by is him tagging along to almost everything Danielle and I do. It seems like anything I try to do with her he's always there, and I can't have any alone time with my best friend anymore. I ask her to meet up in a study room at the library to work on Math and English while we chat, and she responds with “David and I will be there in a minute,” or I invite her to the movies to see the new release of things we wanted to watch before David was even in the picture, and when she arrives in the theater David is holding the popcorn for them to share. I told Danielle about this and asked as calmly as possible “Do you think David has to be at everything we do?” To which she responded by telling me she thinks I'm just jealous.\n\nHere’s where the story really comes to a head. Danielle's birthday is on Sunday, and I was proud of the gift I planned for her (a new pair of earrings to replace one's she lost at my house some time ago), and we've had plans for her 17th birthday since about a month after her 16th. Well David tells me this morning point blank that he's doing something special with Danielle on Sunday and that I'm not welcome to be in attendance. I ask if I can drop off my gift to her and leave then. He says just give him the gift and he'll give it to her Sunday from me. Me being the unsuspecting sucker that I am agreed.\n\nAfter school today however, I see who else but David and Danielle in line for the bus. David says something along the lines of he has an early gift for her to hold her over till Sunday, and lo and behold, it's the earring box I handed off to him. I had to sit there in complete disbelief at the fact that he just did that. (On the bright side though, she loved the gift) About an hour ago I texted her telling her about this, and she has refused to believe a word of it. She thinks I'm a liar when I tell her the earrings were from me, and she thinks I'm just being jealous still, but no she also called me an asshole for accusing David of stealing.\n\nI'm so fed up with David and everything surrounding him, but I feel like I may lose my best friend over it at this point. I want to know if anything I'm doing is too far so I can stop things before I lose my bestie.\n\n\nWell reddit, work your magic, AITA?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-08f2c18124634a94a2f88010c8aea75c",
|
||
"input": "Bf (M/35) talks me (F/33) into taking our daughter to Circus Circus in Vegas for 2 nights. He tells me we’ll be fine money wise.\n\nOn the way, we park in the free parking(Further walking) and walk along the Hoover Dam.\n\nWe get to Vegas, of course there is a lot of walking. Surprisingly, my feet don't hurt, only my calves. Tylenol only if necessary because I have high liver enzymes.\n\n​\n\nWe take our daughter to the Midway for 2 days, but those two days are spent with my bf telling me we're running low on money and will not be able to go to the places we want until Friday, payday. I suspect it's because he's been playing the slots and smoking every chance he gets, which is while we're getting ready in the morning or after dinner.\n\n​\n\nFriday morning comes and he comes out of the bathroom, tells me he got a room at Excalibur.\n\nNo complaints about my feet. But on the 3rd day as we're checking in, I just want to get in the room and relax.\n\n​\n\nAs we're standing in line, he tells me to go sit down while he waits to check us in. I tell him I'm fine and can wait with him. We go through the same conversation a 2nd time and he tells me \"I can tell you're annoyed, just go sit down.\" I tell him I can be annoyed if I want to. Then he starts speaking louder about how I'm always this way and how I'm going to ruin his night. So I walk away. He calls and tells me to come and get the luggage. \"No, I'm sitting down.\" He then says, \"I should've left you the first time, you will never change.\" We had reconciled a month earlier and everything was good and in his words, could tell I was really trying to make it work. I started seeing a therapist and learning new ways to cope and communicate.\n\n​\n\nSo after this, we argue and he keeps mentioning he regrets staying. So I tell him, I'm going home then. I want my car keys and debit card, which he kept. At this point he starts apologizing and telling me he didn't mean any of it. That he doesn't want me to be annoyed because I'm depressed and drag him down with me. Let's not forget Vegas was his idea. He's a heavy gambler and smoker. I've been trying to make it work between us, keeping him happy at home and doing all I can to keep us together as a family. I work 60 hours a week too.\n\n​\n\nBut am I the asshole for being worried about money while in Vegas and the one time my feet hurt while standing, I told him I can deal with it?\n\n​\n\nTL;DR In Vegas for a couple nights at Circus Circus, bf ends up reserving a room at Excalibur for the 3rd night without telling me. I have Plantar Fasciitis. Walked a lot for 3 days. Didn't complain until 3rd day and was about my calves being sore. Because I didn't want to sit down, I'm ruining his night and he should've left me. The one argument we've had since reconciling a month ago and he's talking to me this way. Couldn't get it out of my head the next day and told him how I felt after breakfast. He in turn put all the blame on me -----",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e01a9f0ea156413baf867549d4e2440f",
|
||
"input": "No matter how this ends, it's gonna be awkward because one of the friends is my college roommate. Also, this is my first post so here goes. I've been annoyed by how often my roommate rants about even the most slightly controversial things (she's always been doing this somewhat regularly but it's been daily since last week). For example, last night, my friends and I were watching a movie and there was a scene where a woman takes off her bra but her breasts weren't on-screen (the movie was rated PG-13) and she whined for a solid 5 minutes about how sexualized breasts are and that they should be revered as \"life-giving and sacred,\" then ended it with how bras are \"designed by men to oppose women/women should 'free their nipples.'\" She does this with other things she sees and reads about, and although she's entitled to her own opinion, I hate how out-of-the-blue and constant it is. Every time I try to counter her with an opposing opinion or become visibly irritated, everyone calls me rude. I just think they're overreacting. The fact that I'm never taken seriously since I don't talk and act like they do has bothered me since day one, but I kept my mouth shut about it since they're--apparently--good people. \nIt doesn't end here though because what really set me off was another one of my friends saying that everyone in Wisconsin is racist--and they all know that I was born and raised in Wisconsin. I then explained that from personal experience, that's not true, but they ignored me anyway. Overall, they claim to be accepting but treat me like I'm from another planet and aren't afraid to personally offend me when I'm right in front of them. I've been considering drifting away from them and making some other friends instead, yet I'm afraid to at the same time since I need to pick my roommate for sophomore year next month. Am I as inconsiderate as they say I am, or am I just a bad friend? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-23a4a4d6fb6b4c88942dd70528499526",
|
||
"input": "For my and my twin sister’s 30th birthday, I made plans with her boyfriend to fly in and surprise her, since I live in a different country and we haven’t spent our birthday together in years. She will be THRILLED, knowing her. I told my parents when I booked the ticket, and they asked if they could come along too, and we could all spend our 30th together - great! I love my family, I don’t get to see them enough, and I was super happy we’d all get to be together. \n\nI did say I thought they should tell her they were coming, because I thought it would be more special for me to show up as a surprise, but they also wanted to be a part of the reveal. I said okay, and we could make that decision later.\n\nIt’s getting closer to the date, so my sister’s boyfriend and I have been making more specific plans. I called my parents to fill them in, and they dropped on me that my aunt wanted to come too...and that she’s already bought her plane ticket. At this point, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t my trip or my surprise anymore, like my parents have co-opted it, so I asked them to tell my sister that they and my aunt were coming, and my arrival would still be a surprise.\n\nMy mother is pushing back in the group planning message thread, saying she “has some concerns” about doing that, since sister’s boyfriend has already told her to take the Friday and Monday off work for something he’s planning, and that my sister is going to get suspicious. \n\nI sent them a message this morning to say that I was disappointed with how it was panning out. Firstly because my big gift was flying in as a surprise, and it feels less special if everyone is doing it, and secondly because it now feels like it’s her special surprise birthday weekend and everyone is making a big deal about surprising her for it ...but it’s also my birthday too! \n\nAlso (my parents don’t know this), my sister’s boyfriend asked me a long time ago, when I first started arranging my travel plans and it was meant to be just me there, if I minded him proposing to my sister that weekend. He’s wonderful, and I couldn’t be happier for them, so I said yes, of course! But now it feels like everything else is going to overshadow my weekend with my sister. Also, I’m now a little worried that she’ll think her boyfriend arranged for everyone to be there for the proposal and not that it was my surprise that I arranged for her.\n\nAm I being too difficult and controlling about this trip? I’m worried they’re going to think I’m being precious about being the center of attention...and maybe I am?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7aec0ef22326445e9c2a83dc6a3287a9",
|
||
"input": "I am a clean person and take special note to keep my private bits fresh. I am also very sensitive and use unscented laundry soap. That said, with any sexual partner I have had I make sure to remind them that they need to be sanitary before any kind of contact. This means recently showered, hands washed, and if they want to go down on me they need to use mouthwash first (my gyno said that mouth germs can cause things to get funky). \n\nI made my current fwb aware these things being important to me when we engage. As much as I love the heat of the moment, several times I have had to stop him before things got more heated to tell him to go wash his hands. It is kind of annoying and makes me wonder if his past partners did not care as much about their well-being. He has told me before that he washed them *recently*. But I would see him touching his phone, game controller, or whatever germ harboring thing. I explain to him that he needs to wash them right before. The next few times I remind him until I trust he will respect my wishes. \n\nWell, a few days ago things got hot between us. It was very much in the moment, so when he was reaching his hands down my pants I did not say anything and enjoyed. He continued with his mouth, which I blindly assumed was clean. We finish up and all is fine. Within the next few times I go to the bathroom I notice that things start to smell fishy down there. I had not seen him go right before we did that, but was not paying attention either. I have never had issue with these kinds of things without impulsive sexual decisions (not STD’s, more like doing things while camping or in other less sanitary situations where immediate hand-washing and that sort of thing did not happen). A friend once told me that vagina’s clean themselves when I told her how much of a stickler I am in bed. I know this is true, but only to a certain extent. \n\nSo now I am left super irritated that he did not mind my wishes and I have to feel like an AH every time I need to remind him to wash up. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-11d77921009f45beac28a6174a58d363",
|
||
"input": "I recently me a new group of friends at college that are all in my major, have the same interest as me, like to go out, and same skin color as me (which I find important since i am black snd go to a PWI). My previous friend group pretty much was the opposite of all these things except shared interest.\n\nMy question is, AITA if I attend events (like football games) with my new friend group if i have a much better time with them. I always felt out of place with my old friend group\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-daa0ad38c80946a4a2d5d658bd1ee443",
|
||
"input": "I normally want neighbours to resolve conflict among ourselves. \n\nThe history\nMy neighbour downstairs bangs on my floor aka his ceiling once or twice a month presumably because I’m making too much noise. My neighbour also smokes cigarettes. It’s unclear whether he’s allowed to, I choose to give him the benefit of the doubt as it’s possible he was grandfathered in before the no smoking policy. Whenever I smell smoke wafting up into my suite I simply close my patio door or bedroom window and it prevents stinking up my suite.\n\nThe incident \nI was assembling IKEA furniture at 5PM. I hear a ton of banging on the floor. I adjust to work more quietly and finish entirely within 20 minutes. \n\nThe fallout \nThe next day I come home to a mild smell of cigarette smoke in the entrance to my apartment. I see an envelope on the floor under my doors mail slot, and when I pick it up it reeks of cigarette smoke. I open it and read a strongly word letter from the tenant downstairs, complaining of loud banging at 5PM the day before, threatening to contact the tenancy board and pursue further action of this nature. I put the letter in a zip lock to contain the smell. My apartment smells nice and my air freshener doesn’t need competition. \n\nMy take \nThis dude is over sensitive to noise, irritable in general and gross. I wait on it a few days and think on how to respond.\n\nI decided:\n- I really don’t want to interact with this person. It will be very very unpleasant between the predictable stink and the likelihood of a unpleasant exchange. \n- instead, after a week, I wrote a note to the landlord saying I normally ignore the eccentric irritability of the person downstairs but now that they are leaving stinky letters in my entrance I have to address it. \n- I included the stinky letter in the ziplock bag for the landlord to read and presumably smell.\n- I told the landlord I will be ignoring this tenant going forward as best I can. I also mentioned that my neighbour to my right has never complained of noise and even told me he likes living next to me because I’m not loud or obnoxious and as a bonus I’m not a smoker.\n- my call to action with the landlord was that he simply ask the tenant downstairs to be more tolerant of noise during daytime hours and to cease putting anything in my mail slot.\n\nJudge me \n\nAm I the asshole for:\n- avoiding the tenant downstairs entirely and just tattling to the landlord\n- avoiding conflict not because I’m afraid but because I just genuinely think the tenant downstairs is stinky and passive aggressive and his letter gave me all the insight I needed on both. I judged that no good could come of engaging him.\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ceeacee293864a3281e3877aceebb632",
|
||
"input": "So we were walking along with my gf and another 2 friends of ours. Lets call one of them Jeny for now. Jeny was telling a story (a pretty interesting one at that) and my gf made a pretty relatable comment. We laughed and i hugged her. Here comes the problem....\n\nI accidentally called her Jeny, (note: this was while we were still walking with Jeny and her friend, and i was still kinda mid conversation with her). We all laughed at it but later in the evening my gf showed her true colors. She was in a half-angry half-depressed state. And she kicked me out not 30 mins after she insisted i came over (top tier strat, ik). Now she wont talk to me and shes even thinking of breaking up.\n\nShould i tell her shes acting like a moron over something so little? Or just realise that if something like this is enough to make her think of breaking up, things might not be going so well even if it blows over?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4a787f45823d45b29469374fc80853fd",
|
||
"input": "tl;dr so it, today, was exam day. even worse, my first ever exam, so that was interesting, but not too hard. i, the day before, was really nervous about the chance that my stuff breaks, so i buy a bit of stuff beforehand. \n\ni enter the exam room, nervous, but not too worried. the exam gets handed out (15 pages, one side) and as soon as this happens, a kid in my class runs out of lead. therefore, i try to be a nice guy and offer him 25 leads. unfortunately, they are the incorrect size. i had put away most of my stuff for my other exams, so i didn't have many pencils, just one mechanical with about 100 leads and one other small golf pencil (4-5 inches in length). kid had everything else needed for the exam, just not a functional pencil. \n\nkid goes around asking, and finally gets to my desk. he asks, i give him the golf pencil. he puts it back on the desk and says moderately out loud \"this is all you are giving me?\" i nodded yes with anger, then whispered why. he stares, picks up the pencil, and goes back to his desk. i retaliate back because the teacher hasn't told us to open our book up. \"it's not my fault your dumbass forgot a damn pencil stupid bitch!\" (our teacher allows swearing, just not excessive, and i usually never swore whilst in class) \n\nkid stays quiet for now. exam starts, and about 75 min later, me and kid finish around the same time. we hand in our exams, and he's smiling as he leaves, until he gets out the class. then, out of nowhere, i get a huge slap in the face. \"do i look like i deserve that low quality dollar store bullshit?\" i hate fighting in school. i just stayed quiet until he started walking away. \n\n\ni just wanna know, am i the asshole for giving him my only spare pencil which is bad only because he was unprepared?\n\ntl;dr kid doesn't prepare supplies on exam day, kid asks me of pencil, give him my only spare one (which was about 4-5 inches) kid yells at me for not giving him a pencil, i yell at him back for unpreparing, we both leave exam room, he slaps me and yells at me",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5a5a5fc978ac44d7a6ed8daab45c6df5",
|
||
"input": "So I'm 21F in my third year of med school and the friend in question (Nat) is in his fifth year. Nat is a foreign student from Benin and is very intelligent, he is almost 19 and in his fifth year out of six so he skipped quite a few levels. We became very good friends last year because I had some trouble getting into the groove of studying and he helped me out a lot. Over time I befriended some of his classmates.\n\nSo last semester Nat failed his first exam here. I've failed before and its devastating, but you get two chances to rewrite and that helps you in the long run in my opinion, because the learning material is a but fresher in your mind. I didn't find out til the weekend before he was supposed to write, but when I did I played him a visit. He seemed really down and was seriously doubting his ability to pass and stay in the school. I spent several hours consoling him before I had to leave. \n\nThat same weekend my class left for a four week community posting in a rural area with awful connection, I had to walk several kilometers to make my calls. I tried to call him everytime I went which was at least twice a week. He wouldn't know the results til we came back and was seriously stressing over it. Sometimes we would talk about it and sometimes we would joke, but he wasn't his normal self. \n\nAfter two weeks he stopped answering my calls and wouldn't respond to my texts. Because of the mood he was in I was concerned, so when we got back to school another two weeks later I stopped by his room but he wasn't there. One of his good friends told me he went to stay with his host family a bit, so I let him know to tell Nat to contact me when he had the chance.\n\nNat eventually got back to me about a week later and I let him know I asked his friend to tell him to contact me because I hadn't heard from him in a while. He got really angry with me and said I betrayed him by going to his friend. He said that I could always talk to him directly and that he's disappointed I didn't try harder. \n\nI see no betrayal in this. If he won't answer my class or texts and I'm worried about his mental health what am I supposed to do? I told him that but he kept focusing on how I didn't care enough to come to him directly. I realised it was no use arguing with him and apologised. This happened three weeks ago and we haven't spoken since, I'm still worried about him but idk if I really did something wrong. \n\nSo, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ac85cc81564f4f11b8ebe9d0e833a259",
|
||
"input": "I worked for a company for 4 years and for the last two years reported to a VP of Finance. I left the company because I received an external offer and they decided not to counter offer.\n\nIt’s now been about 4 months since I left and I got a LinkedIn message from my old boss along the lines of “would you be willing to have a call with your replacement who was just hired to give them some pointers and advice related to the role?”\n\nI am of course flattered that he thinks well enough of me to reach out and my personality disposition is always to be helpful to others. However I’m also no longer an employee of the company and have moved on to a totally different industry. \n\nSome random INFO which might help:\n\nI’m a little salty about the whole situation. I put in a lot of 70 hours weeks and played a key role in growing the team and business. On my end it was a bad breakup overall. \n\nWhen I provided the outside offer I mentioned both my manager and the division president I wanted to stay and even suggested multiple options for them to counter-offer. \n\nA division President from a sister organization offered to co-fund my headcount to keep me from leaving and my Management simply outright declined.\n\nThey slightly refocused the role but less so than they originally told me when I left. So this makes me a little salty. \n\nThere is some cultural context. I was an American living in the US reporting to a Nordic-based team. \n\nThe petty part of me doesn’t want to see my replacement ‘knock it out the park’ \n\nSo would I be the asshole if I declined this request? Anyone experience anything similar?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-61ddc4322d1844848091476fd7841d69",
|
||
"input": "So about a month ago my stepmom started refusing to let my dad see her phone, was leaving the house way more often than she ever did, and straight up just treating my dad like complete trash; yelling at him for nothing, not being thankful for him cooking dinner, not even sleeping in the same bed as him. \n\nHe's been understandably torn up and angry about it, and confided in me about it all. Since then I've ignored her texts, Facebook posts she tags me in, everything. \n\nToday is my birthday and I didn't respond to her birthday wish to me and she angrily texted me asking why the hell I'm ignoring her all the time. I have no intention to talk to her, because if I do, I won't be saying anything nice. Am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8a56d326a1d94efe85db675880a17b40",
|
||
"input": "Title says it all my boss decided to go on a tirade the other day we use a group chat service to speak with each other remotely. He used the chat which had all employees in it to berate other employees and myself using mad up figures claiming we are overspending on labour time and that projects are stalled because we are inefficient , I used my very detailed time sheet to fact check all of his claims against me and prove that the figures he came up with for me were over inflated by at least 4 times actually expenses. I also used the task record I keep to fact check his claims of me not following through on projects by showing evidence that I submitted said projects for approval in a very timely manner and even reminded him several times that they need approval to which he never responded to me. I was very respectful used no vulgar language formatted it as healthy request for feedback and open forum for suggestion. I was fired today he said\" it wasn't working out\", he did it opening ,publicly and in our employee group chat in front of others, he is now ghosting me like it's a bad breakup and I have no idea how I'm going to get my tax information as I've been barred from viewing my time sheet in our system. Am I the asshole here???",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7a8903dc5f044459a8c972cdbbb27502",
|
||
"input": "So i got into an argument with my dm and parts of my dnd group regarding the handling of my character. I’m playing a charismatic fighter who’s goal is to reform his old vigilante/mercenary group (basically the Minutemen from fallout 4) this requires me to go about recruiting willing people to join my cause, be they mercenaries,beggars, etc etc. This campaign has been planned for about 6 months and I remember deciding in passive aggressive anger over something I’ve forgotten that instead of working up to making the “not” Minutemen I would start with the company already formed with about 120 troops. The dm offered no push back at all on this. \n\nThe session started and we were being hired by the king to go find the queen who had been taken by the generic baddies. He was also sending his son to accompany us and to serve as our blank cheek (meaning we wouldn’t have to pay for anything at all during our campaign) I informed the king that he would have to also pay for my mercenary company’s maintenance costs. Seeing as I had point tons of points into charisma I expected me to be told to make a charisma roll. No such luck. Instead I ended up in an hour long in character discussion with the king about paying for my company. No roles, just arguing. Eventually the king agreed to pay for my company seeing as I planned to use them during the adventure. With that concluded, we set off to the market and tavern to both give orders to my company and also purchase anything we needed before setting off. It was at this point that I asked the prince to buy me plate armor from the local store, which the warforged shop owner cheerful gave to me for free. At Lvl 1. We then proceeded to the tavern to give orders to the company to set up camp elsewhere in the kingdom and wait for further instructions as well as breaking off 10 men to accompany us to the next town for auxiliary work (not participate in combat) as well as to give another player who couldn’t make it to the session a reason to be with the party since he was one of my mercenaries. We set off to the next town, when on the way there we discovered some traps on the road, the dm then said that we disarmed them, no roll, or even who disarmed them, just that we disarmed them with no input from any players. We were then ambushed by ravens and a tree person (I think a dryad). After that was sorted we went to the next town and ended the session there. \n\nOver the next few days the topic of my character came up in the group chat and we were told we would be voting as a party what would happen to my character, explicitly being told that of our group consisting of seven, six would have to agree to banning my character. after a lengthy discussion where I was told that I was ruining the game due to my mercenary company being disruptive to the game flow, me and two other party members argued that the only time they came up in a way that effected the party was in the hour long discussion that was only due to me not being told to roll charisma. The dm then proceeded to tell me that I had to make a new character because my current one was so disruptive to the game. Every time me and the other two party members pointed out why it was bullshit (the two party members backstories relied on my character existing, me having less effect on the game then other players) we were told by another player that what the dm says is final and we should stop arguing. It was at this point that me and the other two considered leaving since i was being told to drop a character I had invested a bit of work into and that we essentially had no say in what happened despite being told we would. After some more discussion I said that I was perfectly happy to go to my original idea of trying to reform the company instead of already starting with it (as was my original intent) this was followed by another hour of arguing about how I couldn’t recruit people to join us because the dm didn’t want to deal with an entire new party, thus defeating the purpose of my character. We did eventually come to the conclusion to restart the game and allow me to recruit characters to assist our party. \n\nRight now however I’m not sure if my actions were appropriate, the two other party members seem to this so but I’m not sure myself. I acknowledge that starting with the mercenary company was a bad idea done in spite which is why I was so willing to reverse it, but I don’t know about the dm’s response of flat out banning my charismatic fighter. I’m curious to hear others thoughts on this.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5662720fa3ec408298ff94e5bba259f3",
|
||
"input": "So I befriended someone online last year (we'll call him A) and learned that he was in a really shit situation financially and emotionally. He used to live in the south and his family and the people in his small town weren't very respectful or accepting of his gender identity/sexuality/general existence. I wasn't in a much better place financially, but after much begging and pleading on my part (he didn't want to move across the US to live in the Pacific Northwest initially because he'd never lived so far from home, which is understandable) he finally let me buy him a plane ticket to get to me. \n\n​\n\nHe moved in with me in July of 2018, and I already had a job waiting for him when he got up here. Through no fault of his own, he was laid off a week later (the job had been for a temp agency in a volatile position that depended entirely upon the work load the company had, and the temp agency had hired too many people for what the job required). A couple of weeks later, he found another job. \n\n​\n\nAt this point, we were living in a shitty little 1 bedroom apartment with a third roommate (J), who had approved of and helped with the decision to move A in with us, but J had made it clear he was moving out at the end of the lease. Come October, I'd been laid off from my job for the same reason as A (we'd been working in different departments at the same company), but found another job within a day of being laid off. He was working too, but was getting less and less hours. He eventually decided to quit...a week or so after we moved into our new apartment (this is important, as it sets a precedent).\n\n​\n\nI barely managed to convince him to wait until he had another job lined up, because I would have had to pay all of our bills (which doesn't amount to as much as some people's I know) on not enough income. But it didn't matter anyway, because he ended up getting laid off from there too. Fast forward two and a half months, and he's finally gotten another job (after I've had to pull some shady shit to get our bills paid for which I already know I'm the asshole). I had to beg and plead with him to actually put in applications in the first place and I dragged him to the Subway he got a job at to put in his application. \n\n​\n\nFor those of you who don't know, Subway doesn't do 'full time' (40 hours a week minimum) for anyone who isn't management. Their 'full time' is no more than 30 hours a week, as it is dependent upon the company's policy what their definition of full time is. Minimum wage here isn't enough to survive on, as in most places, especially not if you're only making part time. I was ecstatic for him when he got a job, because the stress of having to pay all the bills and buy our groceries was killing me. \n\n​\n\nI got an email from the recruiter of the temp agency I work for now that my site is hiring for 3 more positions in my department. I don't make amazing money here, but it's more than minimum wage and is guaranteed 40 hours a week. Not to mention that the only skill you need to have is the basic understanding of how to use a computer and talk on a headset, and it's temp to hire (hired on permanently after 90 days). I'd talked to A about this in the past about possibly getting a position here and he agreed that he would be interested. I told him about the position and he immediately said that he wouldn't do it because he'd just gotten hired on with Subway. \n\n​\n\nI have had three separate conversations (read: arguments) with him about this, trying to get him to understand why I'm so anxious and upset about him taking this part time food service job over a full time temp to hire position that is so much more secure and has consistent hours. And he comes back at me saying that I need to stop bothering him about it and that it's starting to piss him off that I'm not respecting his decision. I'm frustrated beyond belief, and I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to make rent if he's not getting consistent hours. It's putting strain on our friendship, and I'm too much of a pushover (not a humblebrag, i'm the fucking worst about this) that I'll never be able to kick him out, especially since he literally has nowhere to go. He couldn't even get back home to the south if he wanted to because we have $0 in savings. \n\n​\n\nLogically, I think I know I'm not the asshole in this situation, but I am constantly doubting myself about everything I say and do because I'm not a terribly confident person, and I'm anxious about everything and anything I do. Especially when it comes to roommates, as I've had pretty much this exact situation happen in the past. You'd think I'd learn, but that's where that pushover bit comes to bite me in the ass. Anyway, this is my first post on Reddit and I'm sorry for writing a novel for you all. Let me know what you guys think...?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3414c6593167424c805b32dbb39b6056",
|
||
"input": "BACKSTORY:\nThis issue is between my housemate and I; let’s call her Mary. We’ve lived together for a bit over a year and when I first moved in we became best friends immediately. However with that closeness came disparity and we’ve had a few arguments since then. I’ve never had this kind of dynamic with any friend or housemate before, and the first time we fought was a shock to me. \n\nThis particular incident has some backstory that informs my feelings and reaction. A few months ago we had a fight after Mary accidentally got the impression that I showered twice a day every day. She told me that I shouldn't; I said that I didn't except in special cases, but \"also hygiene is a really personal thing and on really sweaty summer days I might shower twice, and I don’t think that’s unusual or a bad habit.\" She didn't take this well, citing how much water one shower uses and \"to be asked not to take 2 showers a day in a share house is a reasonable request. What’s not reasonable is how self-righteous you are about it and how you’re trying to infer that your hygiene is being policed. Please don’t manipulate the conversation this way ever again, I don’t take lightly to manipulation whether it’s conscious or not.\" These were literally her words in the message she sent me.\n\nI was actually really hurt by her reply. I’ve tried to take the criticism in stride and work on being less defensive and more clear in my communication. As a result of this conversation I have been extra careful to never shower twice a day unless I have a good reason.\n\nNOW: \nI work night shifts and on this night got home around 10.30pm. While at work I had started to feel itchy and even after leaving the office it didn’t go away. While Mary and our other housemate John watched a movie, I laid in bed feeling itchy, depressed (for other reasons), and apathetic. After the movie John took a shower which gave me the idea to do so myself, as it might help my itchiness. \n\nMary often has to be up early (earlier than the rest of us) and has asked us not to make noise once she goes to bed on school nights (including not flushing the toilet or taking showers, as our pipes rattle hard). I respect this and do my best not to make noise on those nights. At this point however Mary was still pottering around in the kitchen. At 11.40 as I got into the shower I heard Q grumbling about us showering close to midnight. I was in and out of the shower within five minutes and went straight to be afterwards.\n\nThe next morning I woke up to these messages:\n\n>HER: Hey showerinpeacepls quick question, why?\n>You got home an hour ago and tomorrow is your day off: why now?\n\nThese messages made me really uncomfortable. I feel like a child being asked to explain myself to my mother, except that I’m 30. I want to tell her what I’m feeling but I'm not confident I can face her without being sure: am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0b3649330b094fdbbc12068c596fca7a",
|
||
"input": "I have never used reddit before but I am hoping to find a little peace of mind for myself here. \n\n​\n\nI made plans to see a friend of mine several days ago. She lives a good bit aways from me but she had planned to cook and just make a day of it. I wake up that day feeling out of it but since we made plans and she had already started to prepare the food I decided to go instead of canceling. I get there and we hang out a little while. Her neighbor calls and decides to come over. I usually don't mind her neighbor but she can be very loud and touchy. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her personality that day. After a little while I decide to leave. I didn't make a scene or say anything I just said I was going to go and that was it. It really upset my friend but I think it handled it appropriately. \n\n​\n\nWe have talked about it some since and she insists that I was in the wrong. I fully believe that I was the problem in this situation and that is why I left. She has said if I didn't want her neighbor to come over I could have said something to start with but it doesn't feel right for me to say I don't want her friend to come over while I am at her house. She has said if it was bothering me she would have sent her neighbor home but again it doesn't feel right for me to have her picking between me and another one of her friends. Me leaving has also upset her neighbor because she felt as if she was intruding. I didn't intend for that outcome. They seemed to be having a good time laughing and joking and since I wasn't I thought it best that I left. I was a little annoyed in the moment but I wasn't upset or angry or anything I just wasn't having a good time. It also ruined the big dinner she had planned which I know was looking forward to all week. \n\n​\n\nI can't stress enough that I don't think my friend or her neighbor did anything wrong in this situation. I was the problem and that is why I handled it the way I did. I still think I wasn't wrong to leave but she disagrees. I guess I am hoping for other's opinions on if I screwed up and how I could have handled it better. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d05702e81f2b43fe976da09ec13e3cb7",
|
||
"input": "So this is a real long and stupid story, get ready. \n\n​\n\nBasically I met this girl on tinder a while ago, she was visiting her family and she actually lives in another state, so i thought that was the end of it, i still talked to her though. Turns out shes moving back here in 3 months, so we kept talking, realized we both really like each other. We've been talking for 10 days now or so, and we are already planning to start dating once she moves out her.\n\n​\n\nWhen we first started talking she mentioned this other guy \\[phillipe\\] (whom lives in the town she lives in now) and that she was kinda talking with him. Today i jokingly asked \"hows \\[phillipe\\]\" and she told me that shes still kinda talking to him and that he was gonna call her tonight, we were in a call (ft) at the time.\n\n​\n\nSo I just got upset really, and I told her this, her explanation is that she goes days without talking to him, while we talk pretty much all day every day. She said its not like their dating, but we both know he likes her, and hes most likely flirting with her. So it just hurt me to know that shes still talking to this guy after we've been so serious and kinda intimate.\n\n​\n\nAITA",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-44436c2f3b8844509d5c252a18054b02",
|
||
"input": "So basically my friend has been seeing this boy for about six months. They've had issues from the very beginning of the relationship but lately it's seems like it's getting worse. She constantly comes to me and our other friends crying about things this boy said to her/did to her/ the way he treats her. Some of these things I would describe as borderline emotional abusive.\n\nI tried being very supportive at first but at this point it's been so long the only advice I can really give her is to walk away from the relationship, and we've offered to help her with that/help her get help. She basically flat out states she isn't willing to do this or even willing to see this boy less. In addition, 90% of the time after we're done listening to her and trying to provide support, she goes straight to this boys house.\n\nI basically told my friend that until she's willing to do something about it, I can't hear about it anymore. It's emotionally tolling on me to see my friend in pain and not be able to do anything about it. However, she has basically told my other friends that I'm isolating her and making the situation worse.\n\nAITA for telling her not to come to me until she's willing to change? Should I just suck it up and listen?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5d619c68899a4e4e87c4a6472017be9a",
|
||
"input": "So I met this girl in one of my classes and she seems cool, but definitely shy. I've gotten to know her over the past couple semesters and I've noticed that she doesn't appear to have any friends apart from me. She never really goes out except for when we go out and she even told me herself that she doesn't talk to anyone from high school. I feel like this is kind of weird, I mean how do you go through life without any friends unless there's something wrong with you? But maybe there's a reason for it? Idk. AITA for not being sure if I want to be her friend anymore? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-130ed14bef474f7da7712c165f596e98",
|
||
"input": "TL;DR\nBought carpet from friend. His one tenant is a carpet/floor installer. After 18 months, they delivered carpet, but people drove on my back yard, without permission ripping up grass. \n\n\n Friend bought a new store and everything inside including a lot of carpet. I bought some of that leftover carpet. He rents out part of it to a carpet/flooring guy “Carl”. \nHe suggests asking the other guy Carl, who is a carpet person if he can deliver to me, without doing install. I ask Carl, who says yes. About $80 for delivery (I think it’s about 10 rural miles one way). I ask him when he can deliver, he says to let his assistant let him know. Long story short, 18 months later he finally is the one to reach out to me, this morning. “Can I deliver in 45 minutes & what’s your address”, I say yes. \nAbout 90 minutes later call from his assistant “what’s your address”\nMy intent was to help Carl, move it from the driveway to the basement using external door. It’s about 65 feet from driveway to basement. And tip Carl 5 bucks for having to move it semi far (can’t just drop off in garage). \n10 minutes later I hear a car in the driveway. It’s not Carl, but helper dude #1 & #2. I meet him outside. He asks where it’s going, I show him the basement. He says “is this the only way in” to which I say “the back is a bit flatter” (the grass is wet from rain& front is definitely more of a hill downward slope). \nHe says okay. I go inside to debate with the wife if I should give them a 5 to split, 5 singles, or 5 each. She says I should tip 5 each. As I go to grab another 5, I see they have just driven their van onto my backyard, right up against the basement door practically. (Reduces 65 feet distance to maybe 15)\nI am livid. My backyard has been a mess, but I spent about 2k and 200+ hours of work this summer getting it to be absolutely beautiful. And they just fucking drove on it, obviously ripping up grass that will now need to be replanted/etc. all without asking. \nSo now I feel like, douchebag owner didn’t deliver carpet (no rush tbh) for 18 months, dodging calls throughout, asks me for address and gives me 45 minutes notice. Comes about 2 hours later. And his asshole employees ripped up grass without asking if they could drive on it. So, I know I wouldn’t tip a horrible waitress/for a horrible experience. So why should I tip these guys? \n\nOn the other hand, if I go to a restaurant, and food blows but service is okay, I would still tip. \n\nOr am I just overthinking all this lol. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ad591bd6ae0a48b68e257ee600472ac6",
|
||
"input": "My roommate always complains, but she showers right after I do and always cleans the hair out, so it seems like a waste of time and paper towels for me to do so 10 minutes before she does. I've offered to shower after her so I can clean both of our hair out, but she always wants to shower late in the night for some reason. I don't think it's a big deal, it's just hair!! It being there isn't going to make you less clean somehow.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-802e9c6e18f049f3b54e685858497bde",
|
||
"input": "Hey guys, so since November, my girlfriend and I were planning to go to somewhere for a 3-day weekend before school starts (Vegas, Lake Tahoe, LA). Shit had hit the fan because last semester I joined a business fraternity where I had became friends with many people. Beforehand, my girlfriend had occupied so much of my time, we'd talk 6-8 hours a day and had led me losing any of my close friends. When the semester started, I loss touch with her, I became more involved with my fraternity and shit had hit the fan because she became jealous of other girls that I was getting to know (not flirting or anything, but becoming friends with), so as the semester ended we tried fixing my issues of lack of communication and openness. \n\nCue the end of December and my fraternity announces a retreat to Tahoe, to potentially party, have very fun moments and really develop bonds with other people in the fraternity I haven't got to know. It is on the same date that my girlfriend and I had originally planned to go on vacation together, and I was torn in between these two events. For one thing, I had never had gone on such a trip with friends and for another thing it's from what I hear something people in my fraternity won't forget. So I am allured to that idea. I feel like going on a trip with my girlfriend is so expensive FWIW (Each of us are looking at $500 which is not really wise for both of us who are in college, in comparison to $55, but I can't bring her). I also feel like there may be fights and horrible experiences just because are relationship is just pulling itself back together. In fact, we just started planning this 2 days ago when it should have been 1 month ago minimum. \n\nDeep inside I just wanted to have fun on a trip that I may not be able to experience again, and I was hoping my girl can trust me, but she can't because I had deleted a text to another girl saying Happy thanksgiving\" when I told my gf I wouldn't reply back. It seems crazy and childish, but a lot of trust was lost because I was replying to other girls texts before her. I wasn't trying to get with any of these girls, it just feels so great being friends with people. In other words, I've been in a controlling relationship and I just started having these experiences.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0073015f37ae4ea8b168a3ff73fec309",
|
||
"input": "Hey. Let me explain, my niece is heavily addicted to Tik Tok, she tells me everything about it, I really didn't care too much. But nowadays she tells me everything. Later I told her i'm being annoyed by her telling me everything about Tik Tok. She didnt overreact, nor did I. She still didn't stop but she STILL tells me about it, just nowhere near as much as before.\n\n​\n\nAgain I told her, but same thing. I really started talking w/ her less because of so. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-59266d43efed4c34a38e9d40388dcd43",
|
||
"input": "So my girlfriend and I have recently had a falling out and she’s decided to move back in with her parents until we can figure out where our relationship is going.\n\nI’m a trade apprentice and I’m making barely minimum wage, and my girlfriend is studying to be an engineer. I moved out of home into a cheap apartment and she decided to move in with me - she said it was to help pay my bills but I think she wanted out of her parents house as much as I did. Rent is about 1/3 of my wage, and I pay for it all - she works casually and makes probably 1/4 what I make. She pays for groceries and that’s about it, while I pay rent, utilities, and registration and gas for my car. \n\n\nI leave for work at 7:30 and come home at 6:30 most days. When I get home I’m dead tired, sick of dealing with other people’s shit and just want to relax. She has class twice a week and goes to see her family two nights a week, so unless she’s sleeping somewhere else I see her when I leave for work and when I come home. She cooks when she feels like it and I clean the dishes if she doesn’t make too much of a mess - she gets inspired sometimes and that makes extra dishes that I don’t feel like I should be cleaning. She also dusts, vacuums and shovels the cat litter. We do our own individual laundry, but usually she’s the one who folds them.\n\nOur recent arguments have revolved around her complaining that she is asked to do too much around the home and that the tasks are not evenly split. My opinion is that she has far more time to do more chores and that I’m the breadwinner and should be expected to do less around the home. She has responded to this by suggesting that I don’t see her as an equal - and I have to admit that I don’t. I know her studies are important but she’s currently making so little money and expects me to pay for her livelihood while she studies - wouldn’t the return for that be that she is expected to do more of the chores? Isn’t that an acceptable trade-off?\n\nI want to understand whether I’m being unreasonable, because I don’t feel like I am but our relationship is falling apart and I want to know if this is my fault.\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-387de41ff2bc4c3a885f2e15c53e249e",
|
||
"input": "It's an old friend from school who she was VERY close with. Unsure if anything ever really happened with them, but his dad died the other day and she wants to visit him and stay w/ his family for a while to help him grieve. \n\nI can completely understand wanting to support a friend in this kind of situation, but is staying over with them too far?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-af06005d641f402ab7eaa865302aa500",
|
||
"input": "Me and a friend of mine who's still in the closet (he came out to a few of his close friends very recently, he hasn't told his parents yet) were hanging out the other day. At a point in the conversation I mentioned to him that my parents would probably flip out and disown me if I was gay and came out to them.\n\nHe said that it's fucked up that they would do that. I agreed before saying that it's not their fault and it can't be help. I explained that my parents are from China and only moved here shortly before I was born, and back there homosexuality was still considered a mental illness up until around 10 years ago. Put most people in their environment and culture and it can't be helped that they would turn out to be homophobes.\n\nJust to be clear I am not one bit defending homophobia itself, I think that it's definitely bad and will eventually be eradicated from the world as society progressed. However I do believe that there has to be a process for this and in our day and age we can't expect everyone everywhere to be so open-minded. The older generations as well as other cultures are from different times/worlds and it's not entirely their fault for believing what they believe. I believe that just because people such as my parents are homophobic doesn't mean they are shitty people. After all it's not like my parents would randomly walk up to gay people and tell them to fuck off or activity spread hate speech on the internet. They keep their homophobia to themselves and aren't bringing harm to anyone. I said that it's not right for them to be homophobic, but it's not wrong either.\n\nMy friend seemed a tiny bit upset by this and didn't say much, we then changed the topic and didn't mention this again. Looking back, I understand that I really have no idea what he's going through with his parents right now and I now realize that as a straight dude I probably was out of my place talking about something that doesn't affect me personally. So was I being insensitive by defending my homophobic parents in front of my friend? Should I apologise to him?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-47ff165decb74455b84667bd4c40befd",
|
||
"input": "Its just a short one, some of my friends are true pushovers, I think they live in the fetal position at all times. Am I an asshole for getting wound up at that? I vent at my girlfriend alot and she tells me to just get over it, but I cant. Don't know what it is but I feel the need to shake them and wake them up when they do it. I don't want to go into specifics, just in general is my question I guess.\n\nThis post is quite rambly because I'm wound up at the moment haha, my girlfriend thinks it's a problem. Would this annoy you?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9d5bb160a7db443ab0a59eb090e30ad7",
|
||
"input": "Ok so just some background to the situation. I attend the same university as my friend, but I study under a different School so I've never personally had any experience with this lecturer. I have however heard of her before due to an extremely similar experience another friend had last year in her class, which lead to my choice of advice.\n\nSo a friend of mine was given an assignment to discuss whether or not they believed Millennials were entitled. The feedback they received after the assignment was complete was: \"It was so ironic that your essay came across as so entitled that I showed your essay to my husband and we had a good laugh at it\".\n\nMy friend was mortified. It wasn't that they didn't do well on the assignment that upset them, it was that they got virtually no feedback other than what I quoted and the lecturer's husband doesn't even work in our university and had no right to be shown my friends work, never mind ridicule it.\n\nSo long story short, when my friend came to me asking for advice I told them to go back to the lecturer. I told them to say they wanted actual constructive feedback for their work, and for their work not to be shared with her husband. They did just that and it somehow blew up in their face. I'm not sure how *exactly* it went wrong as the friend is giving me the silent treatment, but I'm pretty sure both the lecturer and my friend have to attend a disciplinary meeting with the School heads.\n\nI feel awful about the advice I gave. At the time I thought it was the best choice of action since the lecturer was being unprofessional imo, but I really didn't want my friend to end up in trouble since their having a hard time in uni anyway. I'm pretty sure they're giving everyone the silent treatment not just me, but I'm worried I fucked up here since I'm pretty much directly involved. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-286c1bec2ea145dd83b623f4986fd29f",
|
||
"input": "So I placed an on-line order at Chipotle today. My wife always orders a salad and every time I go to pick it up she reminds over and over to make sure they don't forget the dressing. \n\nSo I arrive to pick up the food. After confirming everything she tells me they are out of the dressing. I say \"oh man, my wife loves that dressing and is gonna be pissed if I come home with out it\" She says it will take them 20 minutes to make more. So i ask if they can compensate me in some way for not having the dressing. She walks to the back, comes back a moment later and says it will only be 5 minutes. I tell them that would be fine and I will wait. \n\nSo about 5 minutes later, second lady who I saw making the dressing in the back comes out with two containers of dressing. I walk over to pick them up, when first lady (who is now helping another customer) yells \"JUST ONE! HE ONLY GETS ONE\" to which i say \"well you should give me both for waiting\" I take only one and start to walk away, when i see second lady is still holding out the second one offering it to me. I decline, tell them to have a great day, and leave.\n\n​\n\nI kind of feel bad, I wasn't angry or anything, but when I talk I use a lot of sarcasm, and my wife tells me I always sound like a douche. \n\n​\n\nNote: the restaurant was nearly empty, other than the one customer who had just walked in, and one person sitting down eating. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-71e454a24f934e18b62bc0b0b2074dbc",
|
||
"input": "Three friends and I will be going to Nepal and doing the Everest Basecamp Trek this spring (a grueling 15 day hike). One of the friends recently asked if we’d be open to one more joining and then admitted this new person is a guy she’s been dating for a month, and she’s apparently already invited him prior to checking with us. As of right now the trip is farther away than the amount of time they’ve even been dating so I think this is just a bad idea in general. Additionally, I don’t have a lot of faith in this friend’s dating choices and haven’t liked a lot of her previous partners. I’ll be traveling up until the time we go to Nepal so I won’t get to meet him beforehand, and I fear I’m going to get stuck with a total douchebag on my once in a lifetime trip. Also, even if he’s a cool guy, there’s just a lot that could go wrong between them being so early in a relationship that I don’t want to get pulled into on the mountain. Is it okay for me to tell her she’s needs to uninvite him?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7410554070ef4b69b2d9eb10c4679b79",
|
||
"input": " Just as a quick context. I work in the fast food industry and normally close to closing time the kitchen staff like to play music while they clean. This is usually on phones in a plastic cup close by them so the rest of us don't have to hear it and they can make the cleaning less tedious for themselves. Well, (for sake of reference he will be called \"Country\") unlike the rest of us, Country uses a Bluetooth speaker and has religious country music playing at almost full blast. \n\n After being the one who ends up gathering at least 6 complaints from customers in the lobby I decide to wait until he wanders off and re-sync his speaker to my phone and have \"mudvayne ~ Dig\" (really loud aggressive death metal i know of from a buddy) paused and waiting. \n\n The moment of the play button being pressed by him was likely the most beautiful sound ive heard in awhile. The customer i was speaking to about the issue had already known about what I had done and thanked me afterwards before leaving. Country then turned the speaker off completely after the surprise and was in the break room for the rest of the night on his phone but the rest of us had gotten blissful silence. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3593f088a7644eba964444193981da1c",
|
||
"input": "I'm autistic, and 15. Which trust me, is a lovely combination that never gets in the way of life. So for the past year, I've felt it's been my job to hunt down people and ask \"when am I being assessed for extra time/separate room?\" \"Will I be allowed these things in my final exams?\" or when that received a stupidly vague answer I'd basically beg my parents to ring the doctors or whoever your supposed to ring. The doctors haven't gotten back to us yet.\n\nI feel like it shouldn't be my responsibility and I should've automatically been put down for assessment when I got my diagnosis, over two years ago. So when I was told yesterday that I had to do my statistics mock in the exam hall, surrounded by people, nowhere near a door, I was pissed the hell off.\n\nI told the teachers it was not acceptable and that they should have this sorted by now. Over the past two years they've been letting me do my tests in other rooms, no questions asked. I may have overacted and told one teacher that this was all of their faults and she had to take responsibility, which seemed to annoy her. I got really mad at a load of them and honestly I'm not sorry.\n\nI understand that as a teacher, your life is busy and you don't have time for every student as much as I get that legally I had to be in there. But I feel almost like after two years, something should've been done. I did do the exam in the hall, though I could have done way better.\n\nI do actually want to hear what you have to say, as I know I'm not always the best judge of my actions. Thanks in advance",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-873fc37e85654236b1e929c1991349e2",
|
||
"input": "Title says it all. I'm so tired of my wife's constant whining about needing to get pregnant. I just want it to happen so she will stop it. It's become so suffocating that I wouldn't be excited about her pregnancy for the having a kid part, I would just be so glad to stop hearing her shit. AITA for becoming sick and tired of it?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b9097eefa84342bdba5e91c263e51b33",
|
||
"input": "Hey I might join the army soon but the only thing I'm hesitant about is the implications of getting to MEPS and completely disliking the contract and saying no. WIBTA for stringing along my recruiter? I know that I owe nothing to them but still ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fcd0d8dc05a942bd875cc49df0b379de",
|
||
"input": "Playing an online strategy game against an opponent. The game has an \"undo\" button that sends a request to the opponent. If approved, the game undoes the last move. In any case, the client freezes, so naturally, I request an undo to attempt the unfreeze the client. The opponent does not respond to the \"undo\" request. I type a quick \"Hello?\" and learn the opponent is Japanese. With me purely using Google Translate, the following ensues. They seem to be upset at me over something, but I am unable to determine what it is. That said, can a fluent arbiter determine if Am I the Asshole?\n\n​\n\n\\*\\*\\* \n\n\nME: Hello?\n\nOPPONENT: ん？なんで煽ってんの？\n\nME: 遊べない\n\nOPPONENT: 黙ってUNDOしようとして、さらに煽るとか\n\nOPPONENT: さすがにノーマナーだわ\n\nUndo request was cancelled. \n\nME: それは私がゾンビスパイを終わらせることはできません\n\nOPPONENT: うんうんそれで？\n\nME: Its frozen\n\nME: その冷凍\n\nOPPONENT: 煽ってるの？\n\nOPPONENT: まーた煽る\n\nOPPONENT: なんなの？\n\nME: I can not move! Help me!\n\nOPPONENT: まずは煽ったことについて\n\nOPPONENT: 意地でも謝らないんだね\n\nME: 手伝って頂けますか UNDO? Or no?\n\nME: I'm sorry; I am stuck1\n\nOPPONENT: いやちゃんとしようよ\n\nME: ゲームは私に前進させません\n\nOPPONENT: それ以前の話してるんだけど\n\nME: それはあなたが移動を元に戻すことを可能にしますか？\n\nOPPONENT: その前のことね\n\nME: 私は翻訳を使っているので、お詫び申し上げます。\n\nOPPONENT: ただそれじゃだめでしょ\n\nOPPONENT: 無言でUNDOしてきて、ハロー？って煽るとかないわ\n\nME: LOL\n\nME: What do you mean \"I do not have to push it\"\n\nME: 「プッシュする必要はない」とはどういう意味ですか？\n\nOPPONENT: 押す必要がない\n\nUndo request was cancelled. \n\nME: 何を押す？\n\nOPPONENT: 知りません\n\nME: リクエストを承認できますか UNDO？ それともできないのですか？\n\nOPPONENT: 煽る相手にわざわざUNDOさせると思うの？\n\nOPPONENT: 相手も人間というのをお忘れなく\n\nME: Sorry for poor translation. I am unable to play.\n\nME: 貧弱な翻訳でごめんね。 私は遊ぶことができません。\n\nOPPONENT: 翻訳のせいにするな\n\nOPPONENT: 私はあなたの無礼さに怒っている\n\nME: なぜあなたは私の失礼に怒っているのですか？\n\nOPPONENT: 失礼なことをされたからです\n\nME: 私の謝罪、しかしゲームは私が続けることを可能にしません。\n\nME: 私はあなたと一緒に問題を解決することを望んでいます。\n\nOPPONENT: そうかもしれないが、失礼と解決は別の問題です\n\nME: 謝罪するが、話す唯一の方法は翻訳です。私はその翻訳をすべての信仰をもって受け入れなければなりません。\n\nOPPONENT: 翻訳のことは考慮してる、それとは別です\n\nME: 私が遊び続けないことに憤慨していますか\n\nOPPONENT: 違います\n\nME: それならなぜあなたは怒っていますか？\n\nOPPONENT: 失礼なことをされたからです、内容については2度述べました\n\nME: I do not understand. Can you be more specific?\n\nME: 理解できません。もっと具体的にできますか？\n\nOPPONENT: 2度も言ったので読み返してください\n\nME: 翻訳を考えると、読み返すのは難しいです。 もう一度教えてください。\n\nOPPONENT: 最初から申し訳なく思ってれば、言われたときに理解できたのではないですか？\n\nME: お詫び申し上げます、私はまだ理解していません。 私はあなたと状況を直そうとしているということを信じてください。\n\nOPPONENT: それは信じるよ\n\nOPPONENT: でも無言でUNDOしようとして、ハロー？って煽るのは失礼です\n\nME: あなたはゲームを終了しても構わないと思っていますか？ それとも立ち往生？\n\nOPPONENT: なぜそこでまた煽るんだ\n\nME: \"Hello？\" また、接続が機能しているかどうかの単なるテストです。\n\nOPPONENT: じゃあ最初と同じ「テスト」でいいじゃん\n\nME: 私は謝罪します。 文化は異なるかもしれません。 質問としての「こんにちは」は単に「あなたはそこにいますか」という意味です。 無礼は意図されていません。\n\nME: Since I am frozen, it is unclear if I am connected to the game.\n\nME: 私はフリーズしているので、ゲームに接続しているかどうかは不明です。\n\nME: 私たちは遊び続けることができますか？それともゲームは立ち往生していますか\n\nME: taguchi1, are you still there?\n\nME: taguchi1、まだそこにいますか？\n\nUndo request granted\n\nME: Thank You.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-27719fdeee3f4a2aa3077bbbb53780de",
|
||
"input": "My friend had a minor outpatient procedure and brings it up every time we hangout. At first I was accommodating and expressed my concerns, but after the 3rd and 4th time of listening to the same thing I've kinda tuned out. My friend is basically being a wimp and I'm tired of hearing about it. Am I being an ass? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-74981546dd054ac38525e5f4d435bf9c",
|
||
"input": " \n\nFirst post here, here's the story: my car needed a brake job. There's an auto body shop roughly 3/4 mile from my work site, which is convenient as it's semi-close, however it's not reasonable to walk between there and my work site due to time constraints of a busy workday. The auto shop offers a shuttle service in one direction- from the shop to my work site. So once my brake job was complete, I would require transport from my work site to the auto shop. Normally, I'd do Uber. But my partner happened to have an off-day from work on the day that I was planning to get the auto work done, and he lives close to both my work site and the auto shop (we've been together 2+ years but do not yet live together). So my thinking was- when my car is ready, he can pick me up at work and drop me off at the auto shop. I notified him about 1 day in advance of this plan. He grunted some comment about not liking to have to do extra stuff on his day off, but he agreed.\n\nOn the repair day, around 1pm I get word from the auto body that my car is ready. I call my partner to tell him to come get me. When he answered the phone, it was clear that I'd woken him from sleep. So I feel bad, but I told him \"look, the place is open till 5pm. Just finish your nap and then come pick me up once you're actually awake\". But no, he wanted to come do the drop at that moment, to get it over with. So he picked me up and then dropped me off at my car no problem. When he dropped me off at the auto shop, he told me he was going home to go back to bed.\n\nThat evening he called me when he was awake. In conversation, he tells me it *really* messed up his day off to have to transport me to my car. He asserted that - as a floor nurse, he **needs** his days off for catching up on rest. I thought about it, and quickly stated that I didn't feel bad whatsoever; I've transported him to appointments in the past on my days off from work, and of course I would expect him to do the same for me. Then he gets more upset, claiming that I'm inconsiderate of his time off and his well-being. He even goes as far as telling me that I \"need to bring \\[him\\] dinner\" for the inconvenience that I caused him (I would have been fine to pick up some take-out for him in any case, but his sense of entitlement seemed undeserved and particularly annoyed me).\n\nI'm a bit floored by all this. In any serious relationship (we've been together 2+ years), I would expect any partner to accommodate such a simple request without making some big deal out of it. He often (not just in this instance) talks about how on his days off, he just really needs to rest and recharge, claiming that' it's a nurse thing' that I wouldn't be able to understand. If this latter part is true, then maybe I should feel badly for assigning him this task on his day off. I do have many concerns about how this behavior will affect our relationship when we live together, but before I even start thinking along those lines I first need to know - AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8aae34e7267a406f8fedafb5a382486a",
|
||
"input": " I'm in a house of 4, and one of the two girls, Betty (fake name), has been the following:\n\nSocially not being a comfortable presence in the room\n\nMoments of crying downstairs uncontrollably due to a high level of stress and depression\n\nCertain moments of lashing out at us due to her own personal issues\n\nNot accepting that things may be deteriorating.\n\nMy other girl roommate is stating there is a clear sign of gaslighting occurring between the two of them. Betty, who is much older, has asked this girl to not interact with Betty's friends when she is not present, made unbecoming comments of this girl's appearance, and believes that they are supposed to be really great friends while primarily taking up this girl's time for her own needs. Basically overall a shitty friendship relationship with poor ass communication on both parts. Their relationship now stands completely broken with Betty thinking she can fix it and the other girl not wanting to live with her, and considering moving out herself.\n\nMy other guy roommate has this genuine feeling of unease around her. He has stated \"I am not comfortable sometimes coming in the front door of my own house\". This is the nicest guy around and the person who brought Betty into the mix. He has expressed that this is not a good fit.\n\nWith both of my other roommates expressing it's not a good fit (put lightly), along with me for the most part not seeing eye to eye with this woman, I felt that it was important that I communicate to her that I didn't think this 6 month old housing situation was any longer a good fit. I asked her to consider finding new housing, but expressly stated she doesn't have to as that is her right, we are all on the lease. I offered to help her find a new place and do whatever I could do to smooth the transition. I figure it's good to get it in the open.\n\nShe said no. My other guy roommate has on his own asked the same of her at this point. Regardless of that, she has communicated she feels it isn't fair and that we have bullied her (probably have at this point just by all of us expressing our issue we have with her (separately)) and she wants to stay and fix this. She definitely feels like we are at fault here as well, that we are scapegoating, and that we can't just fix a problem by \"kicking someone off the island\". I just straight up disagree that this is just that. I genuinely think this isn't worth trying to work on when we are all just getting to know each other.\n\nWe all could have definitely communicated better about these issues we have with Betty and done so earlier on, but the fact of the matter is we didn't, and now we're here. So I operated with what I still have. Not defending myself, just explaining that us, the rest of the house, could have done a better job communicating our issues earlier. Thanks!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4c692d5e6fa645b09410338554687e5f",
|
||
"input": "This couple I’m not very close with but the wife is a long-time family friend so I felt that I should invite her. To be clear, all of my invitations stated that there were to be no children at this wedding. But she and her husband showed up with their infant and toddler (who I think is like 3-4). \n\nAt the actual wedding ceremony, I let it slide. I was preoccupied for obvious reasons. I also thought that maybe they planned not to attend the reception or to have someone pick the kids up before it started. (My niece, who was our flower girl, and a few other kids who had to be at the wedding for one reason or another we’re getting picked up/dropped off after the ceremony ended). \n\nAnyway the reception rolls around (I’m fast forwarding through irrelevant details about the wedding but it was beautiful and everything went as smoothly as could be expected). The couple comes and, lo and behold, they still have their children.\n\nI had many other guests and didn’t really feel like dealing with it so I asked our event planner to go over to them and discuss whether someone was picking up the child as the reception (and wedding, frankly!) were not supposed to have children. \n\nI mean, everyone was drinking and loud and rowdy and a crying child and another little one running around was not part of the plan. (The infant already had to be taken out once during the wedding ceremony because of fussiness and the toddler was, from what I could see, already appearing cranky). \n\nMy event planner went to talk to the couple. I could tell they were arguing with my event planner though so I went over to help him. I think they thought I came to rescue them because they started going on about how rude my event planner was. I explained that I had actually sent him over to discuss the children. I reiterated that the event was child-free and said that I had stated so clearly on my invitations. \n\nThe wife gave a sort of apology and then assured me that they were capable of minding their own children to make sure they didn’t get in the way of anything. I said that wasn’t really the point. That’s when my now-husband comes over and he and the other woman’s husband begin going back and forth and things got a little heated. \n\nFinally I snapped and said that they just needed to go, which, thankfully they did without much more noise. Still, the whole scene was incredibly embarrassing which is exactly what I wanted to avoid. \n\nI really hate that my wedding day had to be somewhat marred by this incident. According to my mother, everyone was talking about it and I guess enjoying a little dramatic entertainment. \n\nWas I the a-hole for making them leave?\n\n**Edit 1: Wow um this kind of blew up out of nowhere. Thank you all so much for the feedback. What I’ve gotten from this is that most people think that the couple was rude. There are also a select few who feel that it’s assholish to have a kid-free wedding at all which is...interesting.**\n\n**By way of an update, I have now learned that a few family members felt that it was inappropriate of me to kick out the couple. (The wife apparently is still angry about getting kicked out and the husband is FALSELY telling people that we threatened to call the cops on them). No one has said anything directly to me though.**\n\n**Anyway the feedback here has helped me not to feel guilty about that and just realize that not everyone has the same ideas about tact and manners.** \n\n**Edit 2: Well apparently this went somewhat viral and has now been in articles on Fox News, DailyMail, and Yahoo News. Many thanks to those in the comments who let me know! I had used a throwaway account to stay anonymous and lowkey, but I guess that’s out the window lol. No point in deleting now, so whoever sees it, sees it 🤷♀️ ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-43c9dd79b3714bdf85c37d439281c5e2",
|
||
"input": "**TLDR: We told MIL she can't watch our son alone because of parenting style/abuse/drinking. SO & I came to this conclusion before our child was born, but neglected to tell her right away & it blew up in our face.**\n\n​\n\nSo I have been considering posting this for a while & am genuinely curious to see what you all think. Even though I'm leaving out a ton of details this is still going to be long, I apologize in advance.\n\nMy MIL is a normally sweet woman in her late 40s, but there have been problems with her that I feel can't be overlooked. \n\nWhen my SO was a child/teenager she used hard drugs & was physically/emotionally abusive. As my SO grew into young adulthood she got off hard drugs, but continued drinking heavily. At this point she has abused alcohol for a number of years & everyone considers her to be an alocholic that will not change. She holds down a job & can function in society, but if she isn't at work she is getting hammered. While drunk she comes out of her shell & is very gregarious & loud to the point of being sloppy. Falling down, passing out, a usual drunks behaviour is par for the course.\n\nIn the past she's alternated between being openly apologetic of her treatment of my SO to joking about the abuse, thinking certain incidents that are brought up are funny. My partner doesn't feel much attachment to her, or a need to pursue a closer relationship so generally we only see her at family holiday gatherings.\n\nThat is until we had her first grandchild. Then she was wanting to visit once a month. No problem, we were always there supervising any/all contact she had with our son. While I was pregnant SO & I both agreed that she should probably never have alone time with him for all the obvious reasons. Now here is where we I think we messed up: we did not tell her this before our son was born. \n\nSo over the summer we were visiting & got into a conversation about childcare/rearing. Our son was not present so we had a few drinks with dinner & MIL was already drunk when she'd arrived. She proceeds to go on about how kids need to be spanked/slapped so that they don't grow up to be ENTITLED. My SO goes a little quiet. I engage her saying that we do not believe in that form of \"parenting\" & won't allow anyone else to do that to our son. She argues a bit so (this is where I messed up again) I jokingly say \"Well MIL that's why you won't be watching him alone ever then.\" My SO backs me up, subject is changed, dinner is eaten, & things calm down.\n\nThe next day she leaves, cutting a weeklong trip short. Obviously she is pissed. I get a text that basically says she feels disrespected, she want's nothing to do with either of us, & hey have a nice life. I respond with sorry you feel disrespected, not really an apology I know, but although the conversation didn't happen the way it should have both SO & I still meant it. Then she goes NC with us for a number of months. \n\nEventually she texts SO & they have the same conversation. We do not want her watching our son if she will hit/slap/spank as a form of punishment. She then says that she is not here to punish/enforce rules with the kid, just love. My SO questions her though, do you still believe it would be okay? You say you won't do it, but you think it's alright? Yes, she does think it's alright, but promises not to. This is when my SO brings up the drinking, saying in effect well how can you follow our requests if you are drinking/drunk? Can you watch him without drinking? \n\n**This is where she gets mad & states that she has another grandchild arriving. She will have another grandchild to love, to see whenever she wants, & THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED OUR SON ANYMORE.**\n\nAt this point we are done. We're so glad are son is too little to understand what was being said about him by his grandmother. She reached out via text very briefly over the Christmas holiday, but other than that we have not dealt with her. Now she has not seen her grandchild in over 7 months. \n\nI have this nagging doubt that this is all my fault. I feel very guilty because we didn't outline our expectations in the beginning. I also feel bad because I don't want to ruin my SO or my son's relationship with her. I come from family that has a lot of members NC/estranged & I don't want that for my son. Please tell me what you guys think. \n\nI'm really conflicted & want to know AITA here? \n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-26e0296984f048f69558a824550bc2a5",
|
||
"input": "I'm scheduled to work tomorrow morning. I'm a security guard at a mall in a really good part of town. Good coverage on a normal day is three people and we will have double that the next few weeks for no immediately discernible reason. This for shift is also an overtime shift, so I'd be getting paid time and a half. I've thought about not showing up just to see if they would even notice.\n\nWIBTA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b9cd009047074b339fda92f7cd1da409",
|
||
"input": "I graduated college (4 year) a month ago I’m looking for a job. I’m already searching for other jobs at the moment but my father is a landscaper and wants me to do landscaping. The only problem I have with it is that it’s physically draining on the body. I can’t exercise after my body is used up from manual labor. Also the landscaping job doesn’t pay that well.\n\nI need to exercise to reach my fitness goals that is required for a specific career/job/internship in the future that I’m striving towards.\n\nAm I the asshole for declining my dads offer?\nWas it wrong that I declined his offer?\n\nContext (if needed) given upon request.\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-064bec81409440b8a34394687910beb8",
|
||
"input": "I grew up poor in one of the shittiest cities in the US. Despite that, I was always fed and always got gifts on Christmas. I only recently learned that my mom was putting herself into debt to always make sure my little brother and I had plenty of presents. I'm thankful for her generosity, but it needs to stop. At this rate, she's going to die in debt.\n\nShe's always bought for all my cousins, too. And since my first cousins are having more and more kids, the number of people she wants to buy for keeps increasing. I've pleaded with her for the past few years to just not buy gifts, trying to convince her that holiday shopping is not obligatory, that the kids all have plenty of toys and games already, that my brother and I don't need anything, and that that money would be of so much more use going towards future expenses. She never listens though...saying that she needs to because my first cousins have always bought gifts for my brother and I, and that it will make her happy to buy the gifts/sad to not buy the gifts.\n\nI should add that I'm 2.5 years out of college, and I have a decent job (65k+ in an area with relatively low cost of living). Ever since getting this job, I've helped my mother financially as much as possible. She works at a school and doesn't get paid when the kids are on break, and I fully support her during those times. I bought her a car and pay for all maintenance and sometimes gas. I help her at random times when she won't be able to make ends meet in a given month. I've bought Christmas and birthday gifts, and I buy my brother things he wants and needs in her stead. I intend to pay off her credit cards over the coming few years.\n\nI could buy all the gifts, but I just don't think it's necessary, especially when I'd rather put it toward helping my mom and doing things with the people I would be buying for. I take my brother to concerts and I'm taking the oldest cousin-once-removed skydiving next year. I'd rather do more things like that and buy gifts that matter at some point in the future than add to their piles of stuff. In my family, the Aunts and Uncles all buy the kids cheaper things, and their ideas for gifts come from the parents telling them \"so-and-so needs an xmas idea\" and passing whatever they said along. Call me a Grinch or Scrooge, but the gifts that come from that are meaningless.\n\nI write this as I wait for my mom to come over because she wants me to go Christmas shopping with her, and I'm incredibly frustrated. If she didn't buy gifts this year, she could save that money for the next time she would need to \"borrow\" from me, meaning I could save what I set aside for her every month and could pay off her debt sooner. But she just won't listen and sounds a bit like her heart is going to break if I wear her down. AITA for being so upset with her?\n\nTl;dr: My mom can't make ends meet without my help, but insists on buying a lot of Christmas gifts. I want her to stop, but she's very emotional about it. I'd rather help her with her debt than buy gifts in her stead.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-703c8367425a4d9fa873d1848bb2ffbe",
|
||
"input": "I don't know if I'm getting worked up over nothing because of my own driving inexperience or area differences, so here I am.\n\nBF (25) is in Ontario, Canada and I'm (20F) in USA northwest for geographical ref in case driving attitude is different in those areas. We're in a LDR and visit each other through the year. Usually whoever is the \"home team\" is the main driver for our adventures. I recently visited him, therefore he was main driver.\n\nOn the wheel, my BF has habits that make me uneasy, like driving very close to a car in front of us or taking a free right (or left) turn very quickly in residential areas. On highways he has weaved through traffic to speed past other cars (that I believe are under the limit, but we rarely go on highways, and this was a one-time thing). Regardless he's quick to say other drivers aren't thinking or stupid if something doesn't go his way.\n\nI want to talk to him about these and how it makes me slightly uneasy, but he's not a reckless driver by any means despite possibly not having depth perception (bad eyesight), and I know I could be biased by my own driving habits, plus I don't know if this is even worth a conversation. WIBTA to talk about it?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f182e9bc501249c7b608c92e29dfbddf",
|
||
"input": "I live in a dorm on campus and I chill with a few neighbors and my roommate (4F total). To be honest, I don’t really consider them true friends, but that’s because of past issues that I need to resolve. Anyway, we all decided to live on campus together next year in this great building: two bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, on site mailbox, the works. \n\nBut I HATE living with my current roommate. I believe that I wouldn’t like her even if I didn’t live with her. She’s disgusting — lets her dirty gym clothes marinate on the floor, leaves our shared sink a mess despite me cleaning it EVERY night, has trash strewn over half the room (for some reason she gets the bigger half of the room??) seconds after she enters. She coughs and sneezes without covering her mouth because “she can’t help it.” She’s loud — always slamming the door shut, her walk is like a stomp in her clunky boots, her voice echoes when we’re walking together, inside and out, and then she just claims that it’s because she’s a “sociable person.” She’s rude — she interrupts people when they are talking (also the signs of a sociable person), she is such a know-it-all, especially on topics she knows nothing about (for instance, MY job), she jumps into conversations that do not include her at all, she speaks on the behalf of others who CAN speak, she believes that if something happened in her life then it automatically sets an example for everything else in the world (such as the lack of bullying in schools? Okay.). And she is so LAZY. She doesn’t help clean up unless I directly ask her, she doesn’t have a job because she is super picky about where she wants to work but complains about not having money (she claims to have applied to every position on campus but never got one, and didn’t do a single follow up). Then she cries because she feels like she is disappointing her family. And then she cries about not having a boyfriend. That’s not really lazy but you can all see why she DOES NOT have one. Basically she’s always dumping her problems on everyone else and frankly I don’t really care because they all have simple solutions. \n\nAnd honestly, she’s just MEAN. She takes play fighting/teasing to a whole different level (throwing pencils and metal forks). And a bit racist. \n\nYet everyone expects me to share a room with her again next semester. \n\nI can’t do it. Nope. I decided to get an apartment. BY MYSELF. I’m not risking ending up with another shit roommate. I’m willing to start working full time to avoid that. But everyone else in the group thinks that it’s just so I could have my own room (they know that I have never had my own bedroom) and that I’m being an asshole for not trying to stick it out. That I’m being an asshole because they have to risk getting shit roommates because it’s too expensive living with just two people (the other girl is joining the army, but no one thinks she’s doing wrong by “abandoning” us). \n\nSo what? AITA for letting them sink with the increased rent, or the possibility of getting terrible roommates, for my own means? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b376a4ef4d0e4d6bbbcddb54b89dbad5",
|
||
"input": "This is my first post here so I hope this is the right way to do it!\n\n​\n\nBasically a few months ago new tenants moved in above me. There were/are super loud (thinking stomping loudly, throwing stuff, banging cupboards shut) at all hours of the day and night. They're new parents so they have an odd sleeping schedule. I learned very, very quickly that they were very loud around 6-8 am. There kitchen and bathroom is directly overhead so they'd wake me up and keep me up until they were done their breakfast and morning routines. After a few days of this I went up there around 8 (I know, it's not that early but I'm a student and normally sleep from 3-11) and asked them to please be a but quieter because it's an old building and the sound radiates. The guy told me they couldn't be quieter because they had a baby and then shut the door in my face. I went to the landlord who told me I was imagining how loud the noise was. I tried ear plugs but they wouldn't block hot the stomping so I bought a white noise machine. This was an expensive machine and not in my budget but I need sleep. Anyway, apparently they can hear EVERYTHING from my bedroom (which is super embarrassing) and instead of talking to me to resolve the noise they just got louder and louder, meaning I'd turn my noise up higher to cover them. I didn't know they could hear anything until one day it was super quiet and I learned that had left to stay at a friends.\n\n​\n\nIMO this all could have been avoided if the family had been apologetic and a bit accommodating. They could have put carpets down, walked quieter in the morning, etc. Honestly, they could have come to me the first day after I had woken up and explained the noise was loud and we could have discussed and worked something out. Now it looks like they spend all their time banging, slamming and stomping so I end up playing my music even louder to cover it so I can sleep/study. \n\n​\n\nI have no idea if the noise bothers anyone else, and it looks like the landlord is going to try to fix the noise going UP to them but not their stomping or slamming coming DOWN to me. So TBH, I still plan on playing it as loud as possible hoping it leaks through, which probably makes me a bad person. \n\n​\n\nAnyway, AITA in either/all of these scenarios?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7e30630e37d247d7bc0c8370be558f81",
|
||
"input": "I’ve asked my girlfriend multiple times if she’d like to go to prom. But she’s seems to not want to go. Okay that’s fine with me, so now I’m thinking of just asking a friend to go with me. Am I the asshole ?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-478859b8bd644062993a44b0955b2457",
|
||
"input": "This is a crazy long post but I feel like you need the whole picture. TLDR at the bottom.\n\nSeven years ago, I met a guy in my college dorm and we quickly became best friends. Toward the end of the year, we started fooling around. I wanted a relationship but he didn’t. Fast forward about 6 months (and a summer apart), and we decide to get together. At the beginning, he didn’t treat me very well, not because he was a genuine asshole, but just generally immature and I think he still didn’t like me as much as I liked him. However, it is important to note (and you’ll see why in a minute) that our sex life was definitely healthy at this point. \n\nThen, his behavior toward me started changing and I could tell he started to like me a lot more. He started doing things like waiting for me to get in my car before going back in his house and texting me nice things during the day. However, the nicer he gets, the less frequent sex becomes. By year 2-3, it gets to the point where we are having sex about once a year, not even exaggerating. By year 5, this has taken a massive toll on my self-esteem. During a summer abroad, I cheated on him. I’m not trying to defend my actions here, there is no excuse for this. After I got back, I came clean and we tried to work it out. We sat down and wrote out all the things that needed work in our relationship. Things like he needed to pay me compliments, I needed to quit smoking, and most importantly, we needed to have sex much more often. We set to work putting our plan into action. \n\nA few days later, I realized I was super uncomfortable having sex with him. I had no physical attraction to him whatsoever. I think after a couple years of not feeling good enough, I stopped being attracted to him as a defense mechanism. We broke up. However, he was still my best friend, and at this point, we still had 8 months on a lease that neither of us wanted to pay to break. For a few months, things were awkward and sad, but after a little while, things got much better. \n\nFast forward to today. He has been an absolute sweetheart to me these last few months, however, I am still not sexually attracted to him at all. We are best friends, go out to eat all the time, talk on the phone almost every day, etc. He has bought me flowers once before when I had a really bad day, but yesterday, he sent me a beautiful bouquet for Valentine’s Day. This is where I started evaluating behavior over the last few months. Occasionally, he has used sweet nicknames with me or called us going out to eat a “date” (but like sarcastically? Like he definitely knows it’s not a date), but I always would say “no…” and kind of laugh it off. But now that he sent me flowers…I don’t know, I just feel so guilty, like I’ve been leading him on all this time? He knows I’ve gone on a few dates with other people so it’s not like he thinks I’m just waiting to get back with him.\n\nIt’s also worth noting here that he has extreme social anxiety and never goes out or meets new people. His group of friends is the exact same people we met freshman year of college, which would be completely fine, except they are almost all gone. The last two left in town have plans to move in the next few months. I have no desire to cut contact with him not just for my own selfish reasons, but also because he doesn’t have a single other friend left in town. I’ve tried to suggest ways for him to meet new people but every time I bring it up, he gets irritated and defensive. If I cut contact with him, I'm afraid he would spiral into a deep depression.\n\nOkay, holy shit, I’m so sorry for that massive wall of text, but if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much! So Reddit, am I an asshole?\n\nTLDR: Ex and I dated for five and half years. Broke up due to no sexual connection/attraction but have stayed best friends for a year and half. He has occasionally said or done “romantic” things that I tried to shut down but I have not cut contact or anything. I want to stay friends both because I love him (as a friend) and because he doesn’t have any other friends. Does this make me an asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b030ecce200e4e5c89d917a67772cd53",
|
||
"input": "100% throwaway account here. Will probably never log in after the dust settles from this (if there is any). \n\nI understand this is a convoluted question and it's a convoluted situation. I also hang around this sub enough to know this may get SHP or even troll accusations but I swear on everything this is real. I can give screenshots of the last product my ex wife purchased or whatever if no one believes me. \n\nSo I'm recently divorced. Ugly, ugly divorce where ex and I can't even stand to be in the same room together. We paid a fucking small fortune in lawyers fees because she wanted to argue about bullshit like who got patio furniture and the bird feeder that I didn't want anyways. In the end I just threw up my hands and said fuck it, she could keep everything, I just wanted out as long as I never had to see her again. Well we fought about that too because after saying she wanted the house, she didn't want the house and I had to dip into my 401k and IRAs to buy her out. Not that I even wanted the house, I just wanted her the fuck gone. My ex-wife had pretty severe acne and the only thing that ever worked for her was this company called Paula's Choice. it worked so well that she would essentially buy thousands of dollars worth of the product at once in fear they would change the formula or cancel a particular creamer or whatever. So after all the shit was settled and I thought all her stuff was gone I found what has to be $1500 worth of brand new, sealed product tucked away in a closet in the garage. I thought about giving it to her but figured that would lead to more calls with lawyers because the last time I tried to give her something back pre-divorce she accused me of hiding things from her which cost us dozens of hours of lawyer and investigator time to figure out what else I was \"hiding.\" Seriously. Fuck her. But I didn't want to just dump $1500 of high end skin product so I figured I'd give it to my sister or something. \n\nSo because I'm a pretty pathetic divorcee, I eat at the Subway around the corner from my house 6 nights a week, maybe 7. A month or so ago a new girl started working there. I would guess 18 or 19 and stunningly gorgeous and also very sweet. She knows my name, she's acts like she's happy to see me, she doesn't judge me for gaining 30lbs eating their heart clogging food. I mean this when I say this...I have ZERO designs on her romantically. I'm too old, I'm too fat and I don't even think my dong works after being emasculated in the divorce. I am deadly seriously when I say this. Subway girl is a nice person who gives me a couple of minutes of happiness every day and that will always be the extent of our relationship. \n\nDespite her spectacular bone structure, piercing blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair, Subway girl has really bad acne. And as much as I think she's super cool, I really get the feeling that it affects her confidence. To be very honest, this girl should be out dating, having a great time, being the bell of the ball and not serving me Spicy Italians at 9pm on a Friday and although I don't know, I think her skin has something to do with why she chooses to work so much instead of go out. Again...all presumptions on my part and maybe very assholey of me. \n\n\nSo I decided wow, this is way too big of a serendipitous moment to pass up. I have boxes and boxes of expensive acne treatment and I know a super cool person who really could use the stuff. I decided that I'd just give it to her. After I thought about a little bit I figured me just walking and handing her the products really would be creepy and give some sort of implication that I wanted something in return from her. Again...I do not. \n\n\nSo I typed out an anonymous note and said basically \"Subway Girl, I work as a distributor for Paula's Choice Skin Care Products. I have a ton of extra product older product left over and would love for you to have it. Unfortunately, I would get fired if the company found out I was giving the stuff away and I hate to see it go to waste so I must remain anonymous. But you have always been so nice and courteous to me that it's yours free of charge. If you find it works for you it can be purchased on Amazon as well as Paula's Choice dot com. There are detailed instructions on how and when to use the product, enjoy! \" And then shipped it to her via USPS care of the store so I knew she would get it. \n\n\nI can actually tell she's using it because just like it did for my ex, her skin improved dramatically almost overnight. She has not acted any differently towards me so I know for a fact she doesn't think it was me. She has no reason to and very simply I felt good about doing a nice thing for a nice person. \n\n\nUntil my sister found out. My sister doesn't need the product so it's not a jealousy that I gave it away...it's that my sister thinks I am an incredible creep for what I did. She says no matter what I say outloud, I'm secretly hoping this young girl will know what I did and sleep with me. She said plus, by giving acne product to a girl with acne I was pointing out that she had a major flaw and was not a cute person. My sister then passed all this to my mom and grandma and now they both think I'm a creepy asshole who made this girl feel bad. \n\n\nI can add any info if needed but...am I the asshole?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-317a6d25abb74568b60cd4a7221db2b2",
|
||
"input": "\nBack in January my partner asked if I wanted to stay with him and his family at a hotel for about 4 nights for a family wedding. I told him at the time I wouldn’t know what my schedule would be like, so don’t book for me. It would be 4 weeknights, and I’ve just started my post grad and am on the job hunt, so I’m trying to keep myself available. \n\n\nAbout 2 days ago he tells me his parents have booked the hotel for 6 people (parents, my partner and I and his brother + brother’s girlfriend) and asked if I wanted to come. I have 3 pieces of assessment due over those 4 days, so I told him I wouldn’t be able to come even if I wanted to. The next day we got into a big fight about it, since his parents already booked for me and he’s upset that I don’t want to do this with his family/I’m not making the effort for him. We’ve had similar arguments before regarding my commitment to his family/events. He’s very extroverted and has a lot of family that he wants me to meet and be as close to as he is, but I’m extremely introverted and my family consists of my parents and my 1 uncle I see about 4 times a year, so, although I've been trying my best, it’s been a huge change for me. In addition to this, he knows I hate weddings and I really have nothing in common with his family. I can’t help but feel as though unless I’m attending every single event, AND being happy about it, it’s not enough. (FWIW I’m always polite and friendly with his family, and I'm good friends with his brother.)\n\n\nI ended up venting about it to my parents, and my mother told me that being anti-social and admitting that I don’t get along with his family would ruin our relationship and that I wasn’t making enough of an effort. When I asked her if I should lie and say “I wish I could go” she said yes. \n\n\nI’ve had some time to reflect on the situation, and I can’t tell if I’m just being immature for not wanting to go to this event, and if maybe I should just suck it up because that’s how relationships work. I don’t want to lie to my partner about my wants and needs and the kicker is: I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Neither was his brother’s gf. His parents just hoped that we could show up under the pretence that “we’re already here”. \n\n\nI’ve been told I can be unempathetic and cold before, and I thought I'd worked on that, but I'm worried that I'm too dumb to see what I've done wrong, so I really need some sort of outside perspective. I never really thought our difference in social needs/family would have such an impact on our relationship, but it seems to really be grating on him. I’ve made no requirements for him to get to know my family, so it feels like a double standard, but his family is clearly very important to him, so I can see how that’s a false equivalence. AITA? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-85d0d42e15ed47a6a49b85d36d2f7f53",
|
||
"input": "I want to start this off saying I've had, and still don't, no problem with people whom I've done this with. Most were known to me for at least few weeks before we've done it, for obvious reasons. Didn't want any regret to turn into ruining of my life. But recently few of my friends have accused me of taking advantage of those girls and raping them when the subject was brought into the conversation. I feel like i should mention I'm a guy.\n\nIt was often that both of us were drunk, but there were occasions where I was 100% sober and they weren't and vice versa. As sex while drunk goes, sometimes it was too long with lots of painful jaws, uncomfortable, slow, messy and so on. But newer non consensual. None of them were to the point of passing out, not knowing whats happening or unable to communicate. If they were, nothing would happen. Some were pretty persistent and sometimes forceful, but it was easy to hold them till they would eventually tire themselves out. So nothing would really happen. \n\nOf course they got more relaxed while being drunk and wouldn't probably have it while sober or try the things they did in the bedroom. There is no denying that, alcohol does that. Want to mention i never pressured or encouraged them to drink more so that i could get laid. See no point in that. \n\nAs mentioned I've been labeled as rapist by those people and that is really disturbing to hear. To me this is not even close to that.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA (or worse) for having drunken sex?\n\nP.S messy grammar, sorry.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ffdef027fc4548e4bb66c87ff1c5dfd7",
|
||
"input": "Like the title says, am I the asshole for not leaving a tip when I get a beer? All they do is grab a cold beer from the fridge and open it with a bottle opener, or they pour it when it’s on draft. I’ve had a couple bartenders get visibly upset when I don’t leave a couple bucks aside for them but I just don’t understand why I can’t just pay what the bar expects me to pay for a beer and instead have to adhere to this cultural practice. I’m open to tipping I just don’t think it’s a big deal to not tip for something like this. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a9a4d4a8826f4ca784c2674627ffe2bd",
|
||
"input": "Before you say something, hear me out.\n\nNow this girl I started hanging out with seemed pretty interesting. We had similar hobbies and connected well\n\nBut she was in a relationship with a person for almost a year now. She told me a lot of private things about herself including that she's cheated before. \n\nNow recently, whenever we hangout, she tried to get physically close to me. Her bf isn't home so we just chill. She rests her chin on my thighs and stuff life that. \n\nNow she was supposed to get married to the guy. But lately they've been having a hard time and been fighting. I really didn't want to end up in the middle of them but one day while hanging out we drank a lot. One thing led to the other and now I feel like shit \n\nI didn't want to do this and it was just bad judgement. She insisted on me getting more fucked up. I feel like I destroyed a relationship and I'm not even interested in her romantically. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a3886f23590345efb1479df40f1c7e02",
|
||
"input": "This is a long one folks! \n\nI'm in my mid-late twenties, and I live with my mom for a lot of reasons. My sister is in her 30s and is married with a 2 year old kid. My mom and I live pretty close to my sister's family. I'm not sure when exactly it started, but somehow this arrangement developed where my mom and I watch her son basically every weekend. I know this definitely started before his first birthday, and it's continued to today(a few months after his second birthday). If there's 52 weeks in a year, I'm certain I've watched my nephew for over 40 weekends. I'm allowed to make outside plans and they can't/won't really say anything to protest it. It used to mean he wouldn't come, but then it gradually became my mom watching him by herself. Something to note is that unless my mom is running late, all the communication and arrangements for this is between my sister and our mom. I think maybe twice my sister contacted me letting me know the situation.\n\n​\n\nAnyway I recently started a full time job(M-F 40+ hours a week). After my first week, my nephew came over, and then when my sister picked him up on Sunday evening it was around 8pm. I felt burnt out and exhausted, and I kind of had the realization that the reason why I initially didn't mind the arrangement so much was because most of that time was when I was either unemployed, or employed part time. Now I'm in a new field and I'm trying my best to learn more by reading books and taking a udemy class(for the time being) as well. That being said, really what I needed was time to myself, time to decompress and not be stressed out. I kind of realized the part of the deal where I can make weekend plans wasn't that great because, that doesn't account for when I just want to chill out and play video games on the weekend, or even work on my udemy class for that matter(if I stayed at a cafe or something for too long my mom will call telling me to come over asap). The next week he didn't come for a reason that I forgot. And the week after that was last week. When his parents came to pick him up on Sunday I had a somewhat awkward conversation with my sister. I love the boy so it was really hard for me to say that I can't watch him any more(at least this regularly) but it was a hard thing for me to accept. The conversation went like this:\n\nMe: Hey....I don't think I can do this any more.\n\nSister: Do what?\n\nMe: It just feels like I'm working 7 days a week and saturday and sunday are the most stressful days.\n\nSister: Watching \\[nephew\\]?\n\nMe: Yes\n\nSister: Ok..(looking away)\n\nIt should be noted that her husband was in earshot of this conversation. That was it. They went home, and fast forward to yesterday(Friday). I'm having dinner with my mom and she mentions the nephew. I tell her that I told my sister that I don't want to see him regularly anymore. She starts protesting and arguing with me. Saying things like I don't have to leave my room when he's here(which is BS, he will call for me and look for me, and I can't exactly ignore him when that happens, once he's here, he's here and there's no way to compromise that space). She also says she lives in this house too and she wants to see him so she should get what she wants(although at 40+ weekends a year, I think I should get at least 12 where I get the say, but you can also argue that him being here on the weekend shouldn't even be the default option but I digress, my point is that I should be allowed to refuse every now and again).\n\n​\n\nWhich brings me to today, I slept late last night and was woken up to the sound of tiny foot steps running down the hall. My sister is here with her son. I'm..confused, in part because I was woken up abruptly and in part because I'm kind of afraid of pushing the matter and assuming the worst. My sister mentions that their house is getting painted and that they were going to the park soon, and I decide to assume that she was just making a quick stop in the cold weather because they didn't want him around while painting. I ended up taking a nap(because I woke up \"early\") and I wake up to my mom alone with my nephew, sister nowhere in sight. I stop being in denial and text my sister saying that I wasn't expecting him to come over, and that I didn't appreciate that she blatantly ignored what I said about not being able to watch him any more. She just said \"sorry\" and \"ok\". After a bit I just scream in frustration and my nephew sees me and leaves the room(something I'm very ashamed of). I decided enough was enough, I texted both of his parents one thing: \"What time are you picking up \\[nephew\\] tonight?\" Very aggressively not giving them the option to let him sleep over. My sister starts texting me saying she's sorry her son is a burden for me but it feels hurtful the way I communicated it and thanked me for watching him. I told her we need to have a proper conversation to establish boundaries. She mentions I also need to talk to our mom because our mom said he could sleep over. I explain that the short version of the story is that things are different with my new job. My sister suggested she come over on the weekends with him but I explained that that's not going to solve the problem. My sister explains that she just told our mom this morning that he was coming over because they didn't realize how big of a paint job this would be.\n\n​\n\nSo I piece together the facts so far:\n\n1. I did mention to my sister that I can't watch my nephew any more, and granted it wasn't elaborated on, but I definitely said enough to indicate that I'm exhausted.\n2. I told my mom just last night over dinner that I'm exhausted and I don't want to see my nephew specifically this weekend. She argued with me about it but I did make it clear.\n3. My sister called my mom this morning to let her know she was dropping off the nephew at our house.\n4. My mom told my sister it was ok if he spent the night at our home.\n\nIn other words: I told both of them that I'm burnt out and tired and don't want to watch my nephew, and they contacted each other and agreed that he would spend the night. Somewhere(or everywhere), there lies a complete disrespect for me when I brought this up before it would be a problem, and now that I'm making a big fuss they're finally listening very begrudgingly. I told my sister that contacting our mom does NOT count as contacting me. Her yes does not always mean mine and she needs mine too. Anyway they come to pick him up like an hour and a half later, my mom is very upset by this and my brother in law is just awkwardly avoiding talking to me. My sister said they won't be coming next week(they'll be in Miami) and that's kind of where it ended. I'm mentally exhausted, and none of this feels remotely close to resolved, but I really think I need a break from this arrangement and I want my nephew to not see me in this exhausted, low patience, irritable state. My mom accuses me of being mean to the nephew when I'm not holding him accountable for anything and besides the screaming(which to clarify: was not at him, he just saw/heard me scream) I haven't been treating him poorly today.\n\nSo, am I the asshole here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f1a7c51fba9547659b2a0cbffc1a2416",
|
||
"input": "My cousin sister is really annoying sometimes. I recently lost all my friends, and it's a sensitive topic for me but she still does not stop talking about her friends despite knowing about it. She always wants things to go her way and is completely invading my space. I like being left alone but she just wouldn't give me space. She's ALWAYS there and I'm getting sick of it. Also, she gets too close and corny with my brothers, constantly touching them and calling their name even when they are angry or are screaming. She constantly keeps asking if we'll miss her when she goes away. I am kinda possessive when it comes to my brothers so I DO NOT like it when she follows my youngest brother everywhere he goes and is constantly trying to touch and hug him. It seems creepy in a way.\n\nBut she is also a single child, so I can't tell her to fuck off if she shows an affection too great towards my brothers. And her family agreed to extend their visit while my parents have gone out of town because my father needs a stent to be put in his artery. So am I the asshole for being annoyed by her? Because she is just too clingy and perky for my taste and she is constantly touching my brother. And she just goes all silent when things don't go her way. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4222711e6006498999a4a54590b8a7b5",
|
||
"input": "Hello, I try to make this as short as possible.\nLittle bit of a background: when I was living with my brother, mother and his third husband, they mistrested me physically and mentally. My mom has bitten me, scrathed me, pulled my hair and pulled my hands with aggression. My step father has hit me in the head with varoius objects (bottles, household stuff etc). Also they are really manipulative and forced me to do all the house work since I was 12. My mom once kicked me and his husband out of the house when I was 13 or 14 because she accused us for fucking behind her back, which is absolutely not true. And this is just a little bit of things what has happened. I'm no longer in contact with my mother or her husband.\n\nMy brother (as far as I know) hasn't ever got physical punishemnt, but this is not for certain. He's always been the favourite child, however he just sits and plays in his room because he is scared of our mother and is very anxous. Also he has said that there's no food in the house, just beer and they have been drinking for years everyday, I've witnessed it. Now, they force him to do all the housework.\n\nMy brother's father (not my father) wishes that my brother would live with him and my brother too, but they are too scared to ask my mother that. I asked the CPS to help with the moving out. Also they haven't let me to see my brother at all and black mail me by not letting us see each other. My brother is 14 and cries because of this, but my mother wants just to punish me.\n\nSo, after I filed the report, my grandma, who's always been on my side, called me and accused me of breaking our family and said that if I just could spend time with my mother, none of us would be unhappy. My former stepfather/brother's father, who's very dear to me, also won't talk to me anymore and my brother has blocked me from all the social media (this might be my mother's doing, last time me and my brother chatted, he wanted to see me so bad). \nI don't know if deserve this or not. \n\ntl;dr AITA for filing a case for my brother's neglect even if it breaks the family apart?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a428db9da7ae4747bb48f1bf52168fc9",
|
||
"input": "Just got smacked by a massive windstorm here in the PNW. My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get home that I got home safely. Problem is I dont have cell service at home due to not having power. I'm sitting in a parking lot about 30 minutes away from home (very edge of my cell service coverage currently). Would I be the asshole for telling her I got home safely, and then leaving after I texted her that? I don't want to lie but don't want her to worry. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3bc0aa0c86414a94b4d86083a93aae0b",
|
||
"input": "Hang on, the title does seem bad but I have a very convenient excuse. There are 2 girls in real life that I flirt with constantly, nothing major just some light teasing and the occasional proposal (they are rich so I propose to them so I am called the gold digger). \n\nHere's one of the problems, I dont like either of them, I hook up with one of them but that's about it, I have no intentions of pushing the boundaries because I don't want to and I dont feel it's appropriate. I have never asked them to pay for anything for me or they have done so.\n\nMy next problem is that I seriously close with two different girls I've met online. Again I dont like either one but jesus hell, I listen to their problems and talk to them about and next thing I know they are planning trips to meet me. I might sleep with them but I don't want a relationship. It's gotten to a point where I don't know what to feel and I feel embarrassed to tell them that I dont expect anything from this. AITA for leading them on?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-76eda1fe037248ad81ca7413b73998e7",
|
||
"input": "This happened several years ago, but recent events have brought it back up.\n\nA little backstory: my parents got divorced when I was younger, after which I didnt see my dad much resulting in a bit of a distant relationship, which I think contributes to my feelings in this story. \n\nMy dad got a nice tax refund after buying his home and he told my sister and I he wanted to take us on a vacation. Eventually, he decided on going to Disneyland. The trip was planned for right after I graduated high school. My dad planned the destination and made all the arrangements.\n\nWe ended up stopping in Vegas to see my cousin, which is where things started going down hill for me. I wanted to see the Beetles Cirque do Soleil bad enough to offer to pay for my own ticket (for this one specific thing), explaining I had some money saved up. He took this as \"I got the rest of this trip for myself\". From then I was expected to pay for everything on my own including attractions, food, and chipping in for gas. \n\nThis kind of bothered me, but the worst ended up being Disneyland. I paid for the ridicously expensive ticket and we were there for maybe 4 hours (which was maybe 3 rides and a churro) and ended up leaving, though my dad said we'd go back the next day. I was super upset because this was the part of the trip I was looking forward to the most and it was so expensive and we left so quickly. The next day my dad and sister decided they wanted to go to SeaWorld (I hate fish) and my dad got very mad because I was upset about it and said I could go (and purchase my own ticket) or stay at the sketchy hotel by myself all day. \n\nWhat I had thought would be an amazing trip to bond with my dad became a pretty stressful time. I worried about all that money I hadnt planned on spending and felt pretty resentful.\n\nTo this day thinking about it still riles me up, but recently I started wonder if I was being an entitled teenager. My personal feelings about the relationship in general could be effecting how I feel about this.\n\nSo, am I the asshole for expecting that my dad should have paid for most of the trip? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b6134da7b35e4848a88aad883982dbe2",
|
||
"input": "My nephew was born a little less than two years ago, and I have yet to meet him. I live about 1,400 miles from my sister (my nephew's mother) and her husband. I moved away five years ago and haven't been back since; I have no desire to go back to my hometown. Since I moved, my mother has come to visit me a couple of times, and my sister has come to visit me once.\n\nMy sister and mother keep asking me to come out to meet my nephew, but I just can't make myself do it. They've even offered to buy me a round trip ticket to fly out and meet him. I would also be able to stay with either my mom or my sister, so the trip would be virtually cost-free.\n\nAm I the asshole for not meeting my nephew yet? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a3ebf80e255844269d12261a39dc5b9f",
|
||
"input": "I present to you one of the strangest interactions I have ever had on this site. Over at r/banned, someone recounts a story of being banned from r/aww for making an offensive joke. The joke was mildly funny, at best. Another user comes along and basically accuses the joke-poster of being a bully. I pointed out that the fact that your actions might not be appreciated doesn't *necessarily* make them malicious, and that in this case, no harm was done. User replies that I'm defending abuse and that offensive jokes always cause harm, and asks why am I saying that it's okay to hurt people. And on, and on, and now the user is calling *me* an abuser because I might occasionally swear in my mother's company even though she would prefer that I didn't.\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/banned/comments/a096g3/raww_i_couldnt_miss_the_opportunity_to_comment/eag5knb/\n\nAm I the abuser? lol.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4918104aab6f499d8d039e80ff0a3fa6",
|
||
"input": "So a little pretext, my little brother and I share a room and sleep on bunk beds. My other brother moved out, and my little brother was supposed to move in to my older brothers room. But because he’s sick (and it’s not contagious) he’s still sharing a room with me. Nothing serious for him, it’s just like a strain of the flu. Headaches, slight nausea, maybe vomits once every few days, messed up sleep schedule. Wakes up at 2pm and goes to bed at 4am\n\nNow on to my anger. For the last couple of weeks my little brother has been sick. And most of the time when he asks me to get him something, like an orange or some water, I’ll get it for him, because treat others how you would want to be treated, right? So for the last few weeks, while I’m home, 90% of the time I grab whatever he asks for and gives it to him.\n\nSo tonight, it’s like 10:40pm and I just started trying to sleep. The bed was just how I liked it, blankets are warm, and I’m starting to doze off. He wakes me up, to go throw something out. I grumble and ask why he can’t do it, but still go and throw it out. Then get back into bed. Takes me til about 11:30 before I get comfortable enough to start dozing off again. Like a minute away from falling asleep. He wakes me up again to get him a bottle of water. I start getting a little angry, but get him the water. I quickly grab it and give it to him. And try to go back to bed. Now I’m tossing and turning, trying to go back to sleep, while he watches some Netflix show. No headphones, nothing. Just watching the show. It’s like 11:40 now. I ask him to put on headphones, cause I have to be up at 6am for to finish my homework for my ethics class. He starts complaining about it. Now in the past, he’s just watched Netflix of YouTube without headphones this late, so I gave him like 3 pairs of headphones. 3 pairs, so I could sleep in peace. He starts complaining about having to wear headphones, and it takes me like 5 minutes to get him to wear a pair. I try going back to sleep. Now he’s tossing and turning, and starts to complain because the headphones are uncomfortable, and tries to guilt trip me. It starts to work. This is the point where I get angry. I just yell at him for a minute. \n\nI feel very guilty about yelling at him, but I’m writing this post at 12:21am, needing to get up at 6am to finish stuff for my college class. And when I talk to my dad about it, he said, “cut him some slack, he’s sick.”",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-71584392eaa145ae812fd59c3603c33a",
|
||
"input": "So my family wants to take a trip to New York City. However, I’ve never been much of a traveling person. Am being an asshole for not wanting to go?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2387e9f979c44ffcaa539ef7a8cedb3f",
|
||
"input": "Some backstory: I am the oldest of 5 children, and my mom has cerebral palsy. My parents are divorced, so my dad lives about 15 minutes away. My mom is only disabled to the point where she has a severe limp, nothing affects her mental ability or upper body. She is also overweight.\n\nShe is always late. Always. \nExamples:\n\nOne Sunday (switch day), my mom offered to drive me and my siblings to my dad's house a few hours early. We had gotten a few inches of snow the night before, and all my best friends were going sledding. She said she would give us a ride if we cleaned the house. Me and my 2 sisters cleaned the entire house, top to bottom, for about 3 hours, and we were ready at about 11:00. \n\nMy mom said she would drop us off right after she made lunch for us. We don't normally have a sit-down lunch, so I was not expecting to have one, especially when we had plans. Sundays are usually fend-for yourself days. I was expecting her to just heat up some pizza or something fast like that. \n\nI texted my friends, after confirming with my mom, that we would be there around 11:30. Keep in mind, she AGREED to 11:30. \n\nSuddenly, I hear sizzling from the kitchen. I look in, and I see my mom cooking salmon on the stove top. I ask her what, and she replies \"I'm making lunch for the boys (my 2 younger brothers, 9 and 6). \n\nThey are pretty used to being home alone, and it would have been only 30 minutes.\n\nShe continued making lunch, and at 11:45, she had made 6 plates of salmon, rice, and mixed vegetables. She called us all, and seemed very confused when we didn't want to sit and eat with her. At this point, we were already 15 minutes late, and eating lunch and cleaning up would have taken at least 30 minutes. I was thankful that she made such a nice lunch, but I really wanted to go and hang out with my friends. \n\nDespite our protests, my mom, my 2 brothers, and 1 sister sat down and ate. It took 45 minutes for them to finish. \n\nWhen they were done, my mom went on to go to the bathroom for 15 minutes and we finally left at 12:45, and didn't get there until 1.\n_______________\n\nSo, I last week, I had a 4 day field trip, and we had to be at the school at 6 AM to catch the bus. Knowing her, I told her we had to be there at 5:30 to get the bus, so we would (hopefully) get there on time. \n\nWell, she found out, and started asking me why. I responded truthfully, and she started screaming at me. She said she's \"trying her best\" and \"she can't be perfect\" and \"just accept me\". I tried to have a reasoned discussion, with her, but she wouldn't listen.\n\nI got my dad to drive me there **on time**, by the way.\n\nSo, AITA for being annoyed at her like this? I know it's hard to manage 5 kids, but I don't get it sometimes.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d38a2c3fa02641a5842c14f93a75f39d",
|
||
"input": "So this is my first ever reddit post, although I’ve been reading this subreddit everyday for about a month now. I’m also writing this on mobile, so excuse any errors. Anyways, for some background context I have three best friends, each who I love for different reasons and really value their opinions/advice. Well two of them are super open and understanding, one of them (call her L) can be very judgmental when it comes to topics such as sex, alcohol use, etc (raised super religious). It’s the type of passive judgement that kind of feels worse then direct judgement. So recently I’ve been talking to a mutual guy friend of ours and our relationship has turned somewhat sexual, nothing too serious just very casual. I told my other two best friends about it as I was seeking advice on the situation and they were completely understanding and not judgmental at all, in fact they fully supported me. However, now I feel awful about not telling L due to a fear of being judged/condescended but I’m also scared that if I don’t tell her now she’ll find out later and it will make the situation worse. Also, I have every single class with her (I’m in high school) so I feel like if I tell her I’ll never hear the end of it. I’m pretty conflicted. Am I an asshole for not telling her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1c61e9924b37412cbd42d9f18fb9610d",
|
||
"input": "Made some girl really mad. \n\nMy college dorm has 6 washers and only 4 dryers. Doing my laundry yesterday, I noticed after taking my clothes out of the washer that all of the dryers were taken. And there were mounds of other people's wet clothes all around the room... because of people like this chick. Had one item in a dryer, set for 75 minutes. It was relatively dry, so I took it out and hung it up. \n\nCame back 40 minutes later and she left me a note saying \"HOT TIP DON'T TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S CLOTHES OUT OF AN ON DRYER. LOVE, A PERSON WHO WAS DEWRINKLING A BLAZER FOR A JOB INTERVIEW.\"\n\nSure, if I had know that, I would have left it. But in the meantime that I intervened this hold-up of dryers, most of the surrounding piles if wet clothes disappeared. The jacket was already pretty dry and looked fine. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fca6d42fdd4c46378d1d37b0f0366ce1",
|
||
"input": "I was on my way home last night and driving on a regular street through a town center. There was medium traffic so cars were going less than the speed limit. In the distance I see people start crossing the street on a crosswalk so I slow down a little bit and when they're almost completely crossed I start returning to my previous speed. The last person that crossed the street however didn't seem to like what I did so she stepped back into the street, faced me, and flipped me off as I drove by. \n\n[Here's the crosswalk.](https://imgur.com/a/WjUw7er) There were cars parked on both sides when I was there. I'm not sure if this makes a difference but there's no crosswalk signs or plastic poles in the street like most other pedestrian crossings have in my area. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e03c480667d6419e9ed8c9fa3d57e4bd",
|
||
"input": "A couple of my roomates/best friends from college live in a nearby city. I'm in medical school, so I'm quite stingy with cash. One of my old roomates is also in medical school, but with a substantial scholarship and the other roommate has a nice paying job (like 60-70k). Earlier this month they asked me to come up and visit and hang out with them on a Friday night. They told me they were gonna get wine and cheese and we were just gonna hang out. I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it, and they checked back multiple time to see if I could come (which I really appreciated). When I got there, I drank one glass of wine but brought the rest of the alcohol I drank with me. I had a good amount of (nice) cheese and crackers as well that they bought. We had a great time and it was awesome to see them for the first time over a month. \n\nHowever, at no point leading up to that night did anyone ask me to buy in or mention what it would cost. I even talked with them while driving to their place and they didn't mention it. The day after, I got a venmo request for over $16 by my friend with the job. I was caught off guard, because I thought they had invited me as a guest and weren't expecting me to pay. I really don't mind paying my fair share, but since they didn't mention so much as a price beforehand I thought they were just being nice. I figured my friend would be aware that I would need to know this beforehand since he knows I am super poor right now. I haven't talked to my other friend who is also in medical school about it, so I don't know how he feels about it or if he even knows the other one requested payment. I paid the request, but politely mentioned that in the future he needs to let me know if he wants me to buy in as well as what it costs, but he brushed it off. I'm not like angry or anything, just annoyed. I feel like when you invite a guest to something you were already planning, the norm is to not expect payment, especially without warning?\n\nAITA? I honestly don't know and I feel like I'm being petty about it (this post feels ridiculously long). Thanks for the feedback.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7a9723adc02844c2ae26acf1d2e53412",
|
||
"input": "So I'm a person which does nearly everything for the family. Like my siblings and my parents. I buy everything they need, I help out with every kind of work that may come up and I try my best to keep a good relationship to everybody. One thing everyone know is extremely important to me is my sleep. If I don't sleep well/enough I'm going to have a bad day. It was that way since I was a kid and is still the same way and maybe always will be. We all also have our own little floor so if something happens downstairs I won't know and won't hear, so I'm mostly getting the sleep that I really need. \n\n\nAlright since you know stuff about me: My sister just send me a message saying \"Hey, no ones home tomorrow except for you and your older brother (which is sick btw), so you have to stay downstairs starting at 8AM.\" \nI responded, that I wouldn't want to, especially since she told me at 23:30PM the day before and how much I need my sleep. \nShe tried to make me feel blameworthy by talking about how my brother is sick and it wouldn't have mattered if she told me now or like a week ago. \nMy answer still was no, since she just did not seem to understand how much it bothers me to wake up this early, especially if I normally go to sleep at 3AM since I learn at night. \nThen she said I'm making it waaay bigger than it has to be and that I shouldn't do it. \nI wrote \"Yeah, I won't.\" \nAfterwards she wrote the thing that made me furious. \"Don't expect anything from your family in the future. Wash your clothes yourself from now on.\" \nIt made me think: Is EVERYTHING I do for this family just not enough, because I've said \"no\" once? \nAs furious as I was I went downstairs and knocked at the door but she just stayed in her bed and said \"Go away, your fahter is asleep.\" \n\n\nAITA here? I just don't know how to respond and hate this way of her persuading guilty feelings. \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-039e7616bc184fc5a6e88c707790054c",
|
||
"input": "So, this is a little bit odd but an interaction that happened today has made me feel really weird and bad.\n\nSo, i'm a junior Computer science student and I started classes last week. When I'm in class I like to interact, ask question, and sometimes make a joke because I find it helps the best with me learning. I find that i'm usually one of about 3 students in a class to ever interact and i've always thought it was ok. \nWell, that was until I started a computer networks class this semester. No one in the class of 40 but me ever asks questions or speaks up regularly. So I found that every class i'm the only one asking questions or responding to the teacher. All the questions I ask are on topic but sometimes are there just to clarify or ask something related but that might not be covered. \n\nI've always thought this was fine until today, When I got out of class one of my friends came and told me he overheard some of the other students calling me annoying and \"A ass kisser\". I decided to go and talk to one of the people who said this and he told me that apparently others find the fact that I always ask the teacher questions or respond to him annoying and that they find my jokes \"moronic\". He told me that i'm making a fool of myself and that the teacher probably doesn't appreciate that I ask questions that won't be covered on the tests and that I look stupid ever time I ask for a clarification. \n\nThis honestly is tearing me up right now. I thought I was being nice by trying to interact in class but apparently others think i'm an ass because of it. I would like some outside perspective on this. Am I making an ass out of myself by doing this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d07b3d12c4a44dda9b0bc40bce5ba48a",
|
||
"input": "Hi reddit! This is my first post on reddit & on mobile too so sorry about any mistakes on formatting and stuff. It's quite short, I just wanted to see if people would think this would be justified if I did something in future if I ever see this girl again.\n\nFor context this happened in our sixth form working area - a pretty small space, just for the sixth formers to use. (I'm not sure what this would translate to for other countries, I think final year of highschool? Ages 16 - 18.) Not quite a library, no more than maybe 20 computers and a couple desks, arranged in what I guess you would call a U shape, with a big whiteboard at one end. It's not much but a good place to study/revise as sometimes our library is used for the younger classes. It can get quite busy up there and most of the time all of the computers are taken because of the amount of students.\n\nI got up there early today so I could work on some english coursework, at 8:30, twenty minutes before lessons start. I didn't have any lessons for quite some time today so I figured I'd work on the coursework for a couple hours before then. \n\nI haven't been up there long until another student, probably from the year below me, year 12, puts her laptop on the desk next to me and starts fiddling with the wires underneath the desk. She unplugs the school computer from the main socket and starts using it to charge her laptop instead. She just leaves it there and walks off, probably to go to her lesson. I never saw her come back and I was there for a solid two hours, although the laptop was gone after I came back from quick break. \n\nIt was a pretty expensive looking laptop, rose gold in colour, so I was pretty shocked that she just walked off, but I was also annoyed that she unplugged a school computer that someone else might need to use just to charge her laptop, which she could have done at home or some other time.\n\nI ignored it, I'm not really a confrontational person, but I felt like unplugging it and moving it elsewhere. My friend suggested opening it up and trying to lock her out of her own laptop by messing around with the password but I felt that was a bit over the top. I suppose if people really needed to use the computer they could have moved it themselves or gone elsewhere but I felt it was pretty rude of her, especially when there are loads of other places she could have charged it, like the common room downstairs. \n\nWould I be an asshole if I unplugged it if this happened again? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1735b17f3e6a42728e9e088e825f304c",
|
||
"input": "Background info, I'm a sophomore in high school and I moved to the district the beginning of my freshman year. I didn't have any friends and I met a two chicks that were into me and I dated one and became bestfriends with the other. I've known them both for an equal amount of time and I'm super close with both of them, but neither of then like each other and don't have a good reason for it. They've both helped me get out of my depression and I honestly love both of them.\n\nI understand everyone in this situation is young and dumb, so I'm asking y'all, am I the asshole? J feel like whenever I'm out with the both of them they hate each other and I have to be a barrier. \n\nBoth of them have come up to me and told me I deserve a better bestfriend/girlfriend than them. Am I the asshole for not sideing with my friend or not sideing with my girlfriend? \n\nTldr: Me (m) has a gf and bestfriend (f) who hate each other and I make them do stuff together with me because I love them both aita?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-35e60dddf1944270831d5c7a1e70831e",
|
||
"input": "I pulled into the Walmart parking lot yesterday with my eight year old daughter, and parked next to a pickup truck that was absolutely coated in mud. It was filthy. Looked like it had rolled in a pigpen. My daughter and I were in a happy mood doing a little light Christmas shopping alone together. When we got out of our car I said to her ‘watch this’. I wet my finger and proceeded to write WASH ME on the passenger side door. Daughter giggled, and we went shopping.\n\nCame back out 30 minutes later and there was a note on my windshield that read as follows:\n\n“Thanks a lot for scratching the paint on my truck writing your message. Think about that next time you touch someone else’s truck. Merry Christmas!”\n\n I rolled my eyes reading that. The truck in question was hardly pristine, even under the mud. And there was A LOT of mud. This little prank is older than, well, dirt. Yeah, I wrote it on the truck but I highly doubt I did any damage to the paint job (that he/she so obviously cared about judging by the filthy state of said truck).\n\nSo, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bd40899c63c84fc3b5836af61f4f6c7c",
|
||
"input": "At my credit card, my teacher wrote the bad things about me. He said, \"I only do business to my own opinion and I'm giving other students a little more chance to answer the answer.\" My teacher did not have to teach me as much as I did in that craft and learned that I was so bad and then I wrote about my parents. He has a YouTube video where he sends a letter that keeps people from making some decisions. So in the summer I wrote an angry idea for this video for these reasons. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-483ed26be5a84b37ac7add20395f4b0d",
|
||
"input": "I'm not a good student, I know this about myself, I scrape by. My friend is a very dedicated student. She takes hard classes, is a double major, and is upset with anything below an A on her work. She'd usually spend a few more hours doing homework than I would, and was usually the best student in class. We lived together for a few years before I got married and moved away. However, we still talk frequently and hang out online as we're both gamers. The problem is that because of her schoolwork, we hang out once or twice a month.\n\n​\n\nI understand school is important to her. She picked a hard field and has been selected for a couple of great opportunities such as being a lab assistant and a few internships. I'm really happy she's enjoying her university life and doing what she wants to do. My problem is with her time management. She often talks about how busy she is and how she has no time to hang out or talk. However she often goes out of the way to make her work take longer than it needs to. For example:\n\n​\n\n1) She often does homework while watching tv. Even if we had the same assignment, she would still take 2 hours more to do it for the same grade, because she'd get distracted.\n\n​\n\n2) Opting into extra assignments she doesn't need or want. She had 2 internships and then signed up for 2 more, when she was already stressing.\n\n​\n\n3) When writing a paper with a set limit, She will write over the limit and then spend the next few DAYS cutting it down to the required length. When I say 'over the limit' I'm talking writing 13 pages on a 2 page assignment.\n\n​\n\n\\#3 is what our most recent disagreement was about. I understand everyone has their own method, and I know people write over the limit and then edit it to the length it needs to be. But writing THAT much more is insane. I asked her why bother writing it that way if it was just making more work for her for no benefit, and she freaked out and started yelling at me saying that shes sick of people calling her a \"tryhard\" and that this is just the way she does it.\n\n​\n\nI got irritated that she was snapping at me when I wasn't trying to attack her. I told her that if that's how she wants to do it, fine. No one can tell her how to get her shit done. But also don't complain about being overwhelmed when a 2 hr paper is instead taking you 3 days because \"that's how you've always done it\".\n\n​\n\nI know we see school work differently and I don't know if I'm just an asshole, or if she's being unreasonable and is going out of her way to make things difficult for herself and then expecting her friends to listen to her complain about the work she made, all while not spending time with us or talking to any of us more than a few times a month. I love her and shes my best friend, and at this point it's something I've accepted will be part of our relationship. I'm just wondering...AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-971d5271ba124935890743270bd55cae",
|
||
"input": "I’ll try to keep it short. My wife is pregnant with our second child. She is preeclamptic and considered high risk. Last week my wife was having pain, went to the dr, who told her to go straight to the hospital. At the hospital they told her she will stay until they decide she is stable enough to return home, there is a possibility she may have to remain there until baby is born, which could be a few weeks to over a month depending on how early baby gets here. My wife’s sister (who I don’t really get along with) took it upon herself to create a go fund me saying we are having financial problems and “can’t afford things” as she put it. Then proceeds to post it on Facebook. This is complete bullshit as I work full time and have enough in savings to be ok while my wife is on bed rest at the hospital. Money is tight, sure, we have a been preparing for a baby. However I’m not broke by any means and I sure as hell don’t need to lean on strangers donations to “make it”. I was offended that she made a go fund me without consulting us first. I told my wife she needs to delete it, to which she replied back “people are nice and want to help.” I wont accept this money and don’t feel right about the whole thing. AITA for getting worked up about taking money from people when my situation isn’t as bad as she made it out to be?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3bfc579f6a1b47e2b1a6b405b72f2b3c",
|
||
"input": "I live in Europe and in the last years I have seen a recent increase on the amount of people talking other languages, what annoys me it’s not the fact that they talk their native languages between each other, but the fact that they or I try to communicate each other we always have to switch in English because they don’t know the local language, I find it really annoying, especially when they have been living here for some years",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-806ccf4e113d46338e732e8966479a09",
|
||
"input": "When i first started with my freinds i made it clear that when i needed campaigns to run the group would pay half and i would pay half. It works out to 7 bucks for the 3 of them and 26 for me. They are now telling me to just torrent pdfs online and that they wont pay now. Am i the asshole for telling them to pqy half for something that will last like 7 months of games.(personnaly i dont like having to scroll through pdfs when playing. And i made that clear before we started) ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-da35683da81041f7b2e3ce4fc623ed3e",
|
||
"input": "There's a girl I'm dating, we seem to get along and are getting pretty close. She tried to arrange having me come to her sister's wedding afterparty, but due to logistics and everything it wasn't completely guaranteed that it would happen. The day of the wedding, she messages me saying to come by. Now, this is a big deal to me since this would be the first time meeting her parents and family. In addition, I knew absolutely no one at this wedding, so you can imagine how that would give me some anxiety. \n\nWhen I arrive, it's past 9:30, the dancing seems to have peaked, with the first guests starting to leave. Everyone is quite drunk, I tend to shy away from tons of alcohol. The girl I'm dating seems drunk asks me to bring her a drink, which I do. She then asks me to bring her a drink two more times, after I say things like \"you sure?\". I'm feeling a little strange since I've never seen her drunk before and she's behaving quite differently. In addition, I've had some really shitty past experiences with an ex who was borderline verbally abusive to me when drunk, and I just wasn't feeling it that night. \n\n I spend about an hour dancing with the family, bride, and whoever else hasn't left yet, and then I tell her I'm thinking of heading home for the night soon. She straight up tells me I can't leave, and that she will get really upset if I do. She then asks me to do some random tasks which I do, like moving wedding supplies into the car and trying to stop the dance floor from dying out. I try to leave a few more times, but she makes it clear that it's going to be really bad if I leave. I end up leaving at around 1:30am. \n\nThe next day I told her that it was weird of her to force me to stay when I wasn't having a good time, and that she should be fine without me there since all her friends and family are gathered at the wedding, whereas I knew no one and it was a weird atmosphere to meet the family. She said that arriving and wanting to leave so soon isn't something you do. I'm not sure how to respond. AITA?\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-095a49bbbb0749e8aef70c853082ccd7",
|
||
"input": "Before you get your pitchforks out please let me explain. I'm currently a senior at a 4 year university and until recently I was living with my parents because it financially makes sense. It only takes me 30 minutes to make the drive to campus so I've been fine making the daily commute. Over winter break, a friend of mine invited me out to the bar for a few drinks. We've been friends for a good 4 years and he's also my old roommate freshman year. While we were having a good time and catching up he told me about his living situation. He told me how his parents pay for an apartment on campus but due to his grades not being so great, he had to move back home. His parents are Asian and super strict so that really didn't surprise me. After his parents forced him to move out they couldn't find anyone to sublease so they were stuck with an empty room. He then offered to let me move in for free since he can't live there. Thinking this was too good to be true I asked him if there was a catch. I was at least expecting to pay half rent or something but he said not to worry. Shocked by his generous offer I accepted. This was probably the kindest thing anyone's ever done and I was planning on doing something really nice for him over the summer. The next week I went to visit the place and met all of his roommates who were all super cool with me moving in. I then spent the next week packing and moving all my stuff over. It's been a month now and everything couldn't have been better until my friend who offered me the room texted me asking for rent money. I was a little taken aback by this and I really didn't know how to respond. I would have never agreed to move in if I had to pay rent because I simply can't afford it. Also I'm paying for my own tuition so I can't afford rent on top of my tuition payments. I would have just moved out but I already moved everything over. My bed, furniture, and clothes are all there. Also I canceled my university parking pass and spent money getting an apartment parking so if I move out I'm out a serious chunk of money since I have to buy my university pass again. I honestly think I shouldn't pay rent because he promised me I didn't have too. I'm going to tell him that I won't pay for anything. Is my roommate being an asshole for demanding rent after he promised that I could live there for free? Or was I just naive?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7e482906fc75470991f313b794d9857f",
|
||
"input": "I'm gay and around March last year began getting close with a bisexual friend of mine. By 'close' I mean platonically so. I did have feelings for him but he didn't feel the same way. We spent a lot of time together, spoke a lot, and seemed to think very highly of each other. \n\nI got a big red flag when he tried to make out with me at a party we were both at. This wasn't uncommon behaviour for him, but I took issue with it being directed at me. I forgave him -- he was drunk, after all -- but asked him not to do it again because it was messing with my feelings a little bit. He tried it twice more on two separate occasions before I finally decided I needed some space to deal with my feelings properly. The decision to distance myself was a complicated one; I knew our mutual friends were fed up with him and were on the brink of ditching him, but at the same time I felt suffocated in the relationship and wanted that to end. The problem was that he would be completely alone (he didn't have much of a family at the time) and I didn't want that for him. Nonetheless, I chose to distance myself anyway and made it clear why. I thought that the least helpful thing would be to freeze him out without explanation and that knowing would perhaps make things easier to process. \n\nThis lasted for a week. It turned out we were, once again, both present at the same house party. I avoided talking to him and generally stuck to chatting with random people and seeing how it went. Little did I know he was going to try to hang himself in the home-owners garage, or at least that is what it looked like. After seeing him stumble in there, I figured I ought to check on him because I knew there were loads of dangerous tools in rather precarious places and he might knock something over and hurt himself or something. Well, I caught him as I did and we ended up having a long -- rather touchy, on his side of things -- conversation about what was going on. He blamed me for all of it and told me that it was because I'd made him feel guilty. He explained that he loved me, that things could be different if he wasn't afraid of his sexuality, and how he wanted me to promise I wouldn't leave him. Foolishly, I made that promise, if only because I wanted it to make him feel better.\n\nThe next day I spoke to him about it because I couldn't really sleep after seeing him all strung up like that. I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help. He said no, but that he would consider the account of everything I'd told him and get back to me. In spite of saying very little about anything else, he told me to discount what he said about loving me. At this point, I just rolled my eyes and waited patiently for a reply that I didn't get. Instead, I heard three different versions of that same story from our mutual friends all over the course of the next month, all which painted me in a bad light. I began to wonder if there was something terrible I'd done but deluded myself into thinking I hadn't. This time I was a little more direct and asked him about it straight up. He then admitted that he was self-harming and blamed it on me, again. From that point onwards I have had recurrent dreams about it and have not been able to absolve my guilt for something which, I can reason now, was not my responsibility. Our mutual friends speculated that he was self-harming, based on something they'd noticed, and I confirmed it for them hoping they'd treat him a little better.\n\nA week later all of our mutual friends had ditched him, and to this day I don't really know why. I can make some educated guesses, but I've never heard any proper explanations. Either way, I thought it was unfair for them to ditch him despite knowing what they did. This meant that I was the only person he really had any more, which wasn't great for me but I accepted that and tried to help. I stayed up night after night to keep him company and, combining that with the guilt of what he'd accused me of, I became very depressed. I gradually isolated myself from everybody but him and neglected the advice of all the friends who told me to stop helping him. I wasn't going to, though, because they were unwilling to give him a second chance and he'd still be all alone. \n\nSuddenly he froze me out and started trying very hard to get back in with these mutual friends again. My poor judgement in isolating myself meant that it was now I who had nobody I was particularly close to anymore and, having become rather unpersonable and irritable in person, nobody was particularly interested in my company. Most of all, I felt betrayed. I'd tried to help him the best I could and after all they'd done to him he was in the process of ditching me in favour of them. I spoke to him about it and he called me selfish for talking about my feelings. I warned him about them -- they'd not only hurt him but countless people in the past, and I think they're pretty callous -- to which he accused me of attempting to manipulate him because, apparently, I wanted control over him. It was at this point I learned that he'd turned to drugs to cope. I told an official trained in pastoral support because I was no longer in a position to help at all and I didn't want to see him running himself into the ground like that. I know it has helped him in the long-run, and it has also meant that his family are looking out for him a lot more now and making sure they're present in his life.\n\nWe argued at this point more than we talked normally. I often got angry and was generally scathing to him in these instances, and he'd accuse me of doing all sorts of heinous things that I wouldn't even dream of doing. Depression worsened and my feelings for him hadn't gone, neither had the guilt or the dreams, and any attempt to talk to him about any of this he took severe issue with. On one occasion I lashed out verbally and, I'm told, really hurt him. I remember that I was not pleasant whatsoever and I take responsibility for that. After this, he nearly hit me at another house party and I decided I'd had enough. He ended up in with our mutual 'friends' -- who, at this point, had ditched me -- and I wondered if I'd been so unreasonably terrible that this was what I deserved. I decided to go see a counsellor from this point onwards.\n\nI hadn't spoken to him in four months and have only recently been in contact with him again. The dreams haven't gone and neither has the guilt, and I've asked him if I can talk to him about it. I understand it might be hard for him to talk about all of that stuff, but I feel that if I can reconcile what happened and understand my place in it all I might be able to sleep properly again. Having asked him, he refused on the basis that I'd try to manipulate him again (not that I see where I did this in the first place) and try to turn him against his friends. I pushed for it and he's finally agreed. I'm asking here if I'm the arsehole in this situation because my current friends all become very shifty when I ask them for advice. I don't want to push him, but I'm at a point in my life where I can't afford to be losing sleep over something I think can be ended like this. \n\nThanks in advance.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-71bab3519dc44da8b4baffb68575cfa6",
|
||
"input": "I love her, I do. We have had fun times and she has given me great advise and guidness when I needed it.\n\nHowever, she has been an addict since...well as long as I've known her. And it's only gotten worse and worse.\n\nAs of the past few years she only calls me; if she needs money or rides to places (sometimes tricking me into giving her rides so she can buy drugs) or food, or whatever. \n\nBasically, only if she wants something. Never to talk or just hang out.\n\nSome relevent info: Our mother was an addict and I cut her off until I found out she was dying and set up some \"healthy boundaries\" when bringing my mother back into my life.\n\nI regret...not spending more time with my mother, before she died. I regret cutting her off.\n\nBut the difference is, Mom never asked me for money, or made me feel used, even when I didn't set up my boundaries. \n\nOlder sister does, constantly.\n\nSo, I've cut her off, but from other family members, I hear how much shes struggling\n\nI've tried everything with her, even set up boundaries. But she constantly manipulates me out of them.\n\nWhile other family members, are...I guess enabling her? That's my opinion, but they think they are helping her.\n\nNo family member has said I'm an asshole or anything but...remembering my regret with my mother, I feel like am asshole.\n\nPart of my brain says \"your an asshole, help/spend time with your sister while you have the chance\" while another part of my brain says \"nah your protecting yourself, she can go fuck herself\"\n\nSo, to the lovely people here, what do you think? Let me know if you need more info.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a624e71d7742490198f77d93c3690293",
|
||
"input": "I work at a small hospital with a shower in the OR locker room. About 3 women actually use the shower: I run to work, another woman bikes to work, and another woman goes to the gym before work. Bike lady starts work at 7 and is often done before me and gym lady arrive. I work at 7:50 but I also do my makeup and meditate so I come early. Gym lady starts work at 7 but usually arrives while I am in the shower.\n\nI take longer in the shower and gym lady is mad about it. If we arrive at the same time I always let gym or bike lady go first. But, if I am already showering, gym lady often calls out to me in the shower to tell me she's waiting and is visibly irritated with me when I come out. She arrives with barely enough time to shower and is sometimes late, so I'm sure waiting for me is very frustrating.\n\nI timed our showers the other day. Both bike and gym lady take about 4.5 to 5 minutes in the stall. I took 9 minutes and 45 seconds. This includes undressing, drying off, and dressing time. However, bike lady and gym lady work in the operating room and are required to wear hats. I work in the recovery room with my hair uncovered. I wash my hair, they do not wash their hair. I do not relax in the shower, the extra 4 minutes is strictly hair related time.\n\nTechnically I'm taking twice as long in the shower, but I feel justified in washing my hair, given I don't cover my hair for work. Am I the asshole for taking nearly 10 minutes in a shared shower?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5fc1a288a9a7433787806f8a575d727d",
|
||
"input": "Title basically says it all. She goes to sleep really late sometimes for absolutely no reason. She constantly complains about being tired, but does nothing about it. Also, it gets annoys me when she just doesn't think straight due to fatigue when she's talking to me sometimes. \n\nShe seemed pretty pissed about it yesterday. When I asked her about it today, she said it was fine, but asked to switch the subject pretty quickly (during this time, I apologized profusely about harsh it sounded and I only asked her to do so since I care).\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-40763faa6bf842c69afc40fd7c06341a",
|
||
"input": "Hold on to your butts.\n \nLast weekend I went to a local Christmas Festival with family that I hadn't seen in a long time. We were there for the food and fireworks from Noon until about 8pm and afterwards went back home.\n\nBecause we felt we left early, we started a good fire in the burn pit and called over some friends from the festival. Immediately I knew something was off.\n\nThe couple shows up, they've been married for 10 years, and the guy who has been drinking since noon, now has a bottle of Vodka and is drinking it straight. No one else is drinking like this as we're all just having simple mix drinks like crown and coke. \n\nThe guy is 30yo, maybe 6ft and an easy 245lbs and he is going at that bottle. At one point he went to piss and his wife actually poured a little out of the bottle. I later asked for some, just to empty the bottle a bit, but it was no use.\n\nHe gets to the point that he stands up to walk into the house, loses balance and falls, barely stopping himself from face-planting. I see it as it happens and try to get to him. Well he doesn't get back up, he didn't hit his head, but obviously he was only barely conscious prior to falling because of the alcohol, and the fall was the breaking point.\n\nSo we carry him inside and lay him on a bed. We didn't just leave him, but stayed there and made sure he didn't roll off the bed, made sure he was on his side in case he puked, waited until he did, but he wouldn't stop rolling around, so we put him on the floor and he fell asleep. \n\nAt this point, it's 1am and everyone is tired so we go to sleep. Well an hour later his wife wakes me up and says she needs help. I ask why and she responds, \"He shit himself.\"\n\nIt was at this point I noped the fuck out and called 911 because that was above my pay grade. His wife was mad because now they have to pay an ambulance bill and for everything for the hospital. Her argument is that it should have been her decision, since she is his wife.\n\nMy argument is that at that point, he was spitting dry, had shit himself, was still not coherent, and I wanted to sleep. I recognized he needed fluids and professional help. I've had *some* first aid training, and I've taken care of people who were black out drunk before, but I was not prepared for this.\n\nSo, should I have let the wife decide when to call 911, or was I right to make a judgement call that he needed professional help. Alcohol poisoning is serious and I didn't want to risk it.\n\nTldr: Man gets so drunk he shits himself, wife is mad I called 911 against her wishes.\n\nBonus content: While at the hospital he started saying another girls name and saying he loved the other girl while still drunk as a skunk.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4345c39298224abbad1975f040771966",
|
||
"input": "Before I begin I should lay some groundwork for my story. A local high school sells some fundraising cards that offer coupons to a lot of local businesses. I bought one and frequently use said card at a local haircut chain that offers $3 off each haircut.\n\nThe closest haircut chain place to me closed about 8 months ago. The fundraiser card only works in two cities, and the store that closed was the only one of its type in that city. The other city is at least a 20 minute drive for me. Meanwhile there’s another place right on the border of my city/other city but technically not either of the cities listed on the card. They offered me some good other coupons for switching over to their store post-my store closing, but after those ran dry, I’ve been asking if they’d honor my coupon card which they've said yes to 3 times.\n\nSo I’ve been going to this place, getting my usual haircut, which is basically a buzz cut. Everyone always comments on how super easy it is. I don’t know if that’s hairstylists commenting on how they enjoy easy ones sometimes or if they genuinely believe it’s a haircut that isn’t worth their time.\n\nDuring my haircut my hairstylist (whom I've had before) gets an insane amount of hair off per swipe and pushes it off my head down the front of my face. Not just once or twice, but a few times in a row. My eyes and nose are caked with hair and I’m having a hard time not starting to tear up cause it’s irritating my eyes. I didn't say anything, since I'm an introvert by nature and secondly, you don’t really want to piss off a person with a razor.\n\nHairstylist says nothing either, uses her fingers to wipe off most of the hair on my face a few minutes later. We finish up after less than 10 minutes and I go to pay with this fundraiser card coupon. It takes bringing over the manager to get the coupon added. I never made a big fuss about it, just explained how I went to the old store, it closed, and would like to use it if I still can.\n\nAfter it’s all settled, there’s a screen on the card reader that asks for a tip. You have to manually press a button to type in the amount and each time it makes a noise. It's obvious if you tip or not cause the hairstylist can hear an amount being entered in.\n\nMy hairstylist says “here’s the tip screen! Remember that?” I unenthusiastically say “yup” and just hit continue so I can swipe my card. Out of the corner of my eye I notice her face pales a bit, but she hands me my receipt, thanks me, and I go on my way.\n\nI really feel awful about when people skimp out on tips as a society. I’ve never worked a tip job so I don’t know how much it actually is necessary as far as their wages go. Am I the asshole for not tipping after my poor experience, even after what they did for me with the coupons?\n\nTL;DR: my old haircut store closed, got good coupons with them, had to move to a new store within the same chain, got a subpar haircut, asked if they could honor the coupon, then didn’t tip based on the haircut I received.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-84e9a646621b49c7bef6996ce623c2a9",
|
||
"input": "I'm \\[21F\\] just beginning a career in film which I've wanted for a very long time. I aspire to be a film director.\n\nA neighbor of ours, retired old film producer, is not quite friends with but certainly friendly acquaintances with Roman Polanski. He said he might be able to organize a meeting for me.\n\nIf you had asked me a year ago, I would have thought this horrible and morally corrupt. I mean, google Roman Polanski if you're unfamiliar with his charges. I've experienced a strange number of cases, growing up, of older men I trusted abusing their power with me (to various degrees of severity).\n\nSo much so, though, that in the past few months I've decided that I'd want to make a film about this.\n\nAnd it's making me think, if a horrible person can help me get to a place where I'm \"powerful\" enough to tell an important story and affect the world in a positive way, is it not worth it?\n\nI don't want to rationalize my way into a corrupt decision, but my thoughts are:\n\n1. People meet with awful criminals all the time, without this meaning that they agree with their views or behaviour. Meeting someone does not mean you respect them, and things can be learned even from the worst war criminals.\n2. I've thought about this analogy: a liberal young woman who dreams of becoming a politician so that she has the greatest chance of reaching a large number of people and affecting change on a large scale, somehow gets the opportunity to reach someone who might help her get there. Except, to do this, she must meet with Donald Trump and possibly get him to like her. Would we back this decision? I feel that I would.\n\nHelp me make the right choice!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d6689f0b4ee3409e9a83133c279862a4",
|
||
"input": "I work as a repair technician at a large commercial heavy vehicle plant up in Australia's North, I do enjoy my job and (subjectively) I'm fairly good at my job. But this week has been an absolute shitshow and I've been beaten right into the ground, plus its been very hot so far and its hotter tomorrow, and I'm not handling summer well at all right now. We aren't under staffed if I'm not there, (we finished well before close all week) so I'm not screwing my colleagues over if I don't come in. As I'm a full time employee I get provisions for sick leave of which i have plenty, I'm definitely not feeling shockingly good, but I'm also not ill enough to be unfit for work.\n\nTL:DR, could work, probably should work, would rather not work.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-09a3095e35234aaf930a56b9910ed320",
|
||
"input": "I always loved my grandparents growing up. We had a good relationship, they were fun when I was a kid, and even when I was a rebellious teenager I knew we didn't have the same views on pretty much anything, but I still respected them.\n\nIn the last 5 or so years however, they've made it progressively harder to find reason to respect them other than the whole \"you're my moms parents\" thing. They've always been conservative, but they've fallen HARD into all the shit that's going on today. We have a family rule not to talk about politics at family gatherings because it always ends in an argument, but my grandfather always finds a way to inject some racist remark into the conversation. It's gotten to the point where no one even enjoys getting together anymore because everyone's tiptoeing around each other trying not to set someone off. My entire family is being held emotionally hostage because no one wants to say something that would trigger grandpa and get him ranting about some racist , xenophobic shit.\n\nMy fiance and I have been together for four years, and we've lived together for almost three of those. Everyone in my family knows except my grandparents who would throw a fit if they found out. It's to the point where if we're spending the night at my parents on a holiday we put our things in separate bedrooms to keep up a facade that we're not going to sleep together. And in conversations I often find myself having to lie to pretend we're still living apart. I put up with it because it's just not worth the shit it would start, but I'm fucking tired of it.\n\nMy brother and his wife just announced they're pregnant. Super exciting, until I find out that when they told my grandparents, my grandfather decided to lecture her about how a child needs their mother and it would be irresponsible of her to keep working after having the child. She just started working her first job in the field she went through six years of intense schooling for last year.\n\nNow fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We were in the process of calling everyone in our family to announce our engagement. As expected everyone was very excited and congratulatory, then we get to my grandparents. The first words out of my grandfather's mouth were \"well you better hurry up!\" as in, \"you better do it soon or we won't be around to see it\".\n\nMy fiance and I laughed it off, but on the inside I actually thought to myself for the first time \"good\". There's a lot of other shit going on in our lives right now, so we were planning on a long engagement anyway. We're not planning on having the kind of traditional wedding they'd be happy with, so I'm sure they'd have something to say about that, and I really just don't want what's supposed to be a fun celebration sullied by their bullshit. I'm over it, and I'm tired of them assuming their ignorant opinions have any weight at all in the way I live my life. I really don't care if they're there or not, in fact I almost prefer they weren't. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8afa79420d504c02892e38930cb869bc",
|
||
"input": "There’s this girl I’ve had that hots for, for at least the last year and a half. We’ve been friends for much longer. On a few separate occasions I’ve told her how I’ve felt, and she never completely downplayed it but she also never gave me a straight yes or no answer. The only thing I got from her was mixed signals. \n\nFast forward to last night. She’s really wasted and snap chatting me, clearly trying to pry. She asks, “Why do you let me do this to you?” insinuating leading me on. \n\nSo now, having confirmed that she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I replied. \n\nI said something to the effect of I don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with this right now and it’s not the time nor place. “I’m upset with you because you did this through text when I had the courage to say a lot of shit straight up to your face.” \n\nAm I justified in feeling angry/upset because she didn’t have the gall to tell me in person? This isn’t a rejection thing, I’ve been rejected by more women than I’d like to admit. I just feel sour over this. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a1e34f6466ba4b08bd04807d137fee89",
|
||
"input": "I’ve been in a relationship with someone I love. He wasn’t planning to marry me so I broke up with him, after a week he begged me to marry him but after he rejected my request I started to realize that marrying him was not the right decision - I still love him but we will face many difficulties-. He cried a lot - he never cried before -. He said that he was going to die frim pain. He asked me to say the truth if I want to marry him or not. And I said I want be we must consider the difficulties. Actually I’m not really sure. I do love him but I’ll lose some many people including my parents. I’m not sure if it’s worth or not. Please let me know about what should I do? - I never loved anyone else but him, but I’m not sure if I love him enough to lose my family and hurt my mother’s feelings? Am I a horrible person who changed my mind ? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ab413b3e725a471d84b51e3b68c83928",
|
||
"input": "Sorry I'm on mobile\n\nContext:I have two siblings and me being the middle child is kinda tough. I'm 14 soon to be 15 and for Christmas I got this real nice Bluetooth speaker, I barely have a good time to use so I usually play some real nice classic rock with the speaker(shout-out to classic rock fans!). \n\nBoth siblings do not like my music (TBH I think it's only because I listen to it.) And both my parents love my music but aren't home when this happens because of work. My younger kind of entitled sister always yells, never asks, but yells at me for playing my music and demands I turn it off. The only reason I don't is because I am usually a pushover and I don't want her to think she can do whatever whenever. My brother on the other hand will usually ask and most times when he asks I do turn it off because he asked(and also he is a huge jerk most other times).\n\nBTW I mostly play music in the morning because my parents tell me to turn it off if they are doing literally anything.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-96896da374e6450aa85f5eaf62fe65e2",
|
||
"input": "Okay, long story folks. They'll be a tl:dr at the end. Sorry for formatting, on mobile. \n\n\n So here's some backstory, I (16m) come from a lower-middle class family in a suburban neighbourhood, but I am not exactly privileged when it comes to my family situation. I was a mistake child, as well as my brother (18m), and we were born into a family with a submissive pushover mother(50f) (she most likely has Stockholm Syndrome) and an physically and mentally abusive father(55m).\n\n\n I won't go into all the details about what me, my brother, and my mother have gone through, but here is the jist: Choking, beating, spanking (with fists), kicking, slamming against walls, getting punished to get at my mom, slamming glass, purposely keeping us up at night with loud music, burning our favourite toys, chasing me around with a needle... You get it, I don't have a very good father.\n\n Furthermore, my mother earns more than my dad as a manager, yet does all the work around the house (laundry, cooking, cleaning, filling up gas in the cars, literally every chore). Yet, my dad works in labour, does jackshit around the house, and claims that he is the only one holding the family together.\n\n So flashback almost exactly a year from now. I woke up at around 6am on the living room couch to my father yelling at my mother, and this was normal. So I got up, and I stood at the kitchen door kinda just watching them argue and yell at each other. Well, my mom starts walking down the hallway to their bedroom to pack her stuff and leave for her parents house. This is when my dad came up behind her and started trying to strangle her on their bed. She was on her back, and he was on top with his hands around her neck.\n\n At that moment, after years of submission and built up anger against my \"father\" I broke, and went into a fullsprint jumping on to his back and began pounding his head in with my fist. I got a good 20 full force hits, and if it wasn't for my mom ripping me off of him I would've gouged his eyes out. After that, he realised \"oh shit I really fucked up\" and began saying how much he loves all of us and how he couldn't believe I'd do that to him, y'know, the standard narcissistic thing. Me, my mother, and my father were pretty much arguing about how awful of a person he is. I reminded him of all the awful things he has done and he would deny literally every. Single. Instance.\n\n After a few days of tension, nothing really happened, but I decided to go into no-contract with him and no longer address him as my father, but by his name. He knew how I felt about him, I called him all the names he called us when we were kids right to his face (garbage waste of space, cunt, etc.) And going back to the beating, I rushed him so hard that when I kneed him in his back I broke a rib, and he was too embarrassed to go to the hospital. I hurt him so badly I caused him to lose his job and basically become disabled as he spends literally every waking hour in his bed playing World Of Warcraft in his bedroom. So that went quite well for a few months, until he, and my mother, began demanded that I give him respect.\n\n They have (and still do) have this rule where I have to say goodnight and goodmorning everytime I wake up/go to bed. I didn't want to, or needed to talk to my father for obvious reasons. This pissed him off, because requoting him through my mother it \"made him feel like he was a piece of shit in the corner\" Which is funny, because that's exactly what he is. They threatened to punish me, and tried to force me to apologize to him. Fuck. That.\n\n So after a few months of tension, my father gets pissed off at me for a irrelevant reason and we get into an argument. He bagan threatening me with violence, calling me a libtard, and said he was proud of choking my mother to the point of blacking out. I actually threatened him back, and he backed off. He realised he can't take on his 6'4 slightly muscular teenage son when he is at grandpa age and has troubles getting up to use the washroom. After he ranted for a bit more about the gays, libtards, and women that was the end of that ordeal. And since then I've continued to do the same, no contact. My only form of communication has been through him bitching about me to my mother.\n\n Fast forward to today, and he is getting moody again. He wants me to say goodmorning/goodnight everyday. And I refuse. Here is the thing, my mother and my brother on his side. They say that he has \"changed\" in this past year, even after the decades of abuse. They say that I need to learn to forgive, and not be \"stuck up\" to my dad. I on the other hand want to go down with dignity when I get kicked out the day I turn 18, I want to make him feel like what he is. A piece of shit in the corner.\n\n\nTl:Dr - abused physically and mentally by father, father strangles mother, and I beat the shit out of my dad causing him to lose his job. I go into no contact with him, refuse to call him my father, and refuse to give him any respect. My family is against me saying I'm taking it too far.\n\nI'll provide more information if you really think you need it to decide if I'm in the right or wrong here. So,\n\nAm I the asshole? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e4ea779b301c41779c29fe5cb87d20ef",
|
||
"input": "Basically, I'm going to buy a second car (with cash) to play around with and am going to loan my daily driver to my live-in girlfriend while she saves up to buy herself a vehicle. She moved in after having to get rid of her vehicle because of it being a pos and not being able to make it from her place to mine (\\~100 miles away). She complains about being bored and being stuck at home all the time. I pay all the bills and I pay the loan on my car, including the insurance to which she is on, the agreement for moving in was she pay for groceries and the fuel in the car.\n\nWhen I came home to prepare for checking out the car she got irrationally annoyed and snapped at me asking why I don't just buy her a car instead of loaning her my Civic and she'll pay me back? I'm not entirely sure where this came from and now I feel extremely guilty. I didn't even think anything of it until now. I thought I was being nice and now I feel like shit. I hate people owing me money, I do not loan money to anyone because I hate having to deal with people not paying me back, especially not my GF. Am I being selfish?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3f410c8b2031452e9f8a5cf83cd724c6",
|
||
"input": "To keep it brief, 20+ members of my family are going back to our Upstate house that we all grew up in. We haven’t been in YEARS and we are all excited to go relive it.\n\nAlmost every cousin of mine is bringing their significant other. For that reason, a large portion of me doesn’t want her to see all the social media posts and feel really left out - I care about her.\n\nMainly, though, I just want to be able to run around, be free and not have to keep her close to me and integrate her into my family - as she’s never met my uncles/aunts/cousins, yet. \n\nI see this as a great opportunity to acclimate her to my family, but like I said, I don’t want any strings on me for this weekend.\n\nThoughts?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fcdaf49d404849408cd2f0835ebd30c9",
|
||
"input": "So i (m) was running in the park yesterday around 11pm(i like running latenight because there are less people and the air is better).\n\nThe park isnt very well-lit and was completly empty except three 16-18y old probably slightly drunk girls sitting on a bench smoking.\n\nThe first time i passed them they said \"hello\" and i replied \"hi\".\n\nThe second time i passed they said \"hi\" i said \"hello\".\n\nThe third time they said \"not so fast\"(sounded like sarcasm but i wasnt sure).\n\nNow the fourth time i was running very close to them suddendly turned to side and yelled \"buh\"\n\n.... ive never heard screams like that before.\n\nWanted to stop next round and explain that it was just a joke but they were gone.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4a22c79effd74184a3263c6a19025965",
|
||
"input": "So, I’m a frequenter of subreddits like r/insanepeoplefacebook and r/vaxxhappened because I find them both entertaining and aggravating. I’ll even listen to reddit readings on YouTube while I’m doing other things. My mom happens to be a NICU nurse (for those who don’t know that means she takes care of sick and/or premature babies), so I’ve had plenty of discussions on this subject. However, I’ve only ever discussed it myself with people who hold the same opinion.\n\n​\n\nAnyways, I was browsing my Facebook feed this morning and happened to see that my childhood friend’s mom shared an article titled “What You Didn’t Know About the Aborted Baby Parts in Your Vaccines.” I was shocked because I hadn’t expected to see something that looked like it came straight out of an anti-vax subreddit video on my own Facebook, much less from someone I’ve known for 18 years, but there it was. I skimmed the article and, of course, found it filled with claims like aborted fetal matter being in the chicken pox vaccine, that you can’t be pro-life and pro-vax at the same time, and lots of religious overtones (I am religious myself btw).\n\n​\n\nI commented on the post, asking her to please not share “fake news” and concluded with “don’t fall into the anti-vax trap.” I was a little harsh in my overall reply, but not rude. After commenting, I decided to message the friend whose mom it was that posted the article. I opened with “your mom is sharing anti-vax articles on Facebook,” expecting a funny convo or at least an interesting conversation. I wanted to know how she felt about it, but her response surprised me.\n\n​\n\nApparently, her mom has always been anti-vax and my friend hasn’t been vaccinated either. I wasn’t expecting this, and it threw me for a loop because I had assumed she was pro-vax and had started off the conversation with an already negative undertone concerning anti-vaxxers. She asked what I expected her to do about her mom posting stuff like that I told her that I didn’t expect her to do anything, I just don’t like that false and dangerous information is being spread so casually. I told her I just wanted her take on it and she said that it’s her mom’s business and even if she didn’t agree that she would appreciate it if I didn’t come after her about it. I apologized and told her that I just have very strong views on the subject. She tells me off by saying that even if I don’t agree with something, I shouldn’t come off so aggressively, especially since it has nothing to do with her. I apologized again, saying that I didn’t mean anything rude by it and the conversation was left at that.\n\n​\n\nThis exchange totally ruined my morning and I feel really shitty about the whole thing. I don’t regret commenting on the Facebook post and I still feel very strongly about vaccines, but I feel really bad about unintentionally involving my friend because I didn’t know she wasn’t pro-vax like me.\n\n​\n\nAm I the asshole in this situation??",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e4db5e871d0e4f8eaa553cf55378ae49",
|
||
"input": "My friends and I got paired up with a girl for a history project . This girl is very smart and is in the top ten of class. The bad thing is that she’s not doing her fair share of work. We’ve been texting her asking if she’s done with her research but she always responds that she’s busy with another activity like National Honor Society or band practice and that she doesn’t have it. I understand that because she’s in the top of the class she’s very busy but I don’t think we should have to pick up her slack. My friend decided to just do her research. Today she asked for all of the research so she can write her report but my friend has taken her name off of the project and is refusing to share the research with her. This is a big project that is worth a lot of points and I know how much her rank is worth to her so I suggested that she pay us. My friend agreed to this and she begrudgingly did so as well. My friend came up with a price but it was a lot higher than what I intended it to be but she ended up paying. There’s no risk of her reporting us because it’ll show she didn’t do the work and she’d get in trouble also but I feel like my friend asked for too much money ($110) and I’m thinking about giving my half of it back to her.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9a944721ae06416cbbe74bf1b6d4b83e",
|
||
"input": "As in title, my girlfriend might be infected with mononucleosis (she will test for it tomorrow) and she is currently mad at me at infecting her. I was never diagnosed for mononucleosis, so I am not even sure if I've ever had it and I wasn't sick at all in the last few months. She is convinced that I am responsible for it, even though kissing is not the only way to pass the virus. I really do feel sorry for her being sick, wasting time and money for doctors and missing lectures at uni and family events, but I don't think I should apologize for something beyond my control and for something I may not be responsible for. Reddit, am I the asshole here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d9ffb398ef66471093f0d534d322af89",
|
||
"input": "so my wife made the family a meatloaf and i really don't like it. I thought it smelled awful so i didn't eat it. She claims that i embarrassed her in front of the family by not eating it and it made her feel bad and i was insulting her culinary skills. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-97aa714ea5254d6d87945a00fc452841",
|
||
"input": "About 6 months ago, I discovered a popular supplier selling damaged goods. Since I was scared of them, and no one would listen to me alone, I gave the information to another larger company, AC.\n\nAC excitedly went public with the information. He became popular, and had a huge influx of customers. Due to a mistake, it came out that I was the leak. No big deal, we rolled with it, I had a minor increase in my own customers, nothing major. We communicated regularly, until it became clear we had strong romantic feelings for one another. I cut it off, because he is married with children. \n\nA week or so later, I spoke to a supplier who used to work bad supplier. He knew about the damaged goods, but was afraid. He thanked me for going public, and offers me a discount on his newest product. I place an order.\n\nA few days later, AC insisted that we talk on the phone. I explained my feelings were too raw, so talking would only cause more pain since a relationship was impossible. I told him i couldn't go to his store because I still loved him. He said we would talk when I was ready, and to know he would always love me.\n\nDays later my order from the new supplier arrived. I put up the product for sale. The next day, AC released a statement, denouncing me for selling the product, accusing me of using him to get more customers, being part of a conspiracy to take him down, and of manipulating his feelings to get what I want. He also says I played a \"cat and mouse game\", and suddenly stopped talking to him and shopping at his store for no reason. \n\nI was shocked and devastated. I told him he betrayed me by attacking my character. He said he understood and blocked me.\n\nAfterwards, I was contacted by various friends and strangers asking if I was ok. They felt AC was out of line. I heard from everyone except FF.\n\nFF has developed a reputation. He uses people to get access to premium suppliers, help setting up his store, etc. As a friend, I had helped FF with many things, he used my connections to BC AND AC to get new customers and suppliers. I ignored it, because I considered FF a good friend.\n\n1 day after the drama? Nothing from FF. 2 days? Nothing. 3 days after, I finally asked FF if they saw it. Answer? Yes, and they had nothing to say, because they are friends with everyone. Everyone fucked up. FF is so upset with everyone for doing this!\n\nI told FF I was hurt, they didnt even seem to care about the effect on me, and that at least some support would be great. FF then tells me he plans to write an ENTIRE NEWSLETTER promoting AC.\n\nI told FF and his wife, if they write the newsletter, I am done working with them. We have a company together. It would look like they are condoning the actions of AC. As my business partners, I felt that looked bad. They were angry that I gave an ultimatum, so I told them, they are adults and can do what they want. Since I am also an adult, I can do what I want and end the friendship.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-82d925572cc04b9aa230b1427bc6dda0",
|
||
"input": " Hello. I know this is a pretty mild one compared to the others but who better to ask than reddit. \nMe and my boyfriend have been sharing food, since we live together for 1,5 year now. We always split the bill in 2 and we usually determine who's gonna shop for groceries by who is going to be near a shop that day. Well.. almost. I am usually the one who makes that effort, which takes time and time is important to me as a student, he usually just deflects that responsibility by \"we don't need anything\" or \"I don't want to go today\". \nI am also the one who cooks the food and he usually cleans the dishes even though sometimes he complains that it takes longer to clean it. \nAnyway, we went to a grocery store recently and we usually just split, I buy what I need for cooking and he buys snacks or if I tell him to get something he will. I asked him how much milk should I buy when he hits me with \"I don't want milk\". As I know he loves milk and eats it with cereal/ drinks it with chocolate sugar, I am confused by this but just proceed to buy one carton for myself. \nThat day I decide to have milk for dinner so I pour myself about 1/5 of the carton and have some cereal with it. The next day he asks me whether he can have some for his chocolate milk, I raise my eyebrows and comment something about him saying he doesn't want and tell him sure. That day was pretty full for me and I only got around coming home around 7pm and after only eating breakfast I was pretty hungry and wanted something quick to eat. So again I decide on milk and cereal. But of course there is no more milk. \nI go to him ask him where it went he said he drank it, which irritated me cause he did not ask me if he could,I was hungry and he specifically said he doesn't want any, I mildly irritated said \"then you will have to go and buy me some\". We live in a dorm and there is a small shop here where you can buy some groceries and is just 11level away, and buying some milk takes literally max 7 minutes, but of course it's a bit more expensive. \nHe hits me with \"maybe\" and proceeds to play LoL and ignoring me. I get even more irritated, raise my voice and say \"you better go buy that milk\" and just let him play and wait until he finishes the game. \nAfter waiting on him for 20 minutes I start calling for him \"Boyfriend, go buy me that milk I am hungry. Hello? Boyfriend? Boyfriend? Hey?\" cause of course he acts like he doesn't hear me now. \nI throw my bra at him which catches his attention he puts down his speakers and he starts \"maybe if you asked nicely\". \nWow. Am I in the wrong for getting absolutely pissed off at this? I asked him whether he wants me to plead him to go buy me the milk he drank and said he doesn't want in the first place and after some deflections of his I get very angry and start yelling at him how lazy and selfish he's being. He said something about me always getting angry and never saying \"please\" and that he was \"very close to going but after you acting like a bitch I am not\". \nI don't think I should be pleading him to go buy me something he took from me. If it was me drinking something of his I would go buy him a new thing without him even asking. Or should I have been nicer? \nHe always does something like this, that when he is in the wrong and I call him out he turns it around on me and I end up being the bad guy. Last week he wanted me to wear these high heel to go eat out with him, he knows I cannot walk in high heels, he knows my shins hurt when I walk in high heels for a while, he knows the shoes we got from aliexpress are too small for me and he still wanted me to walk in them for at least an hour in Prague(if you ever been to the city center you know what kind of walking areas are there in Prague), raining and cold outside. I told him I won't and that is a bad idea at which he said I promised I would wear them and completely turned the situation on me, despite him wanting me to be uncomfortable in order to get me to wear the shoes he likes (way too much). \nDo I just have anger problems? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cd07c6b96b3d4f79b4440ac7537c3d06",
|
||
"input": "Today, my college had a lock down drill. They didn't tell us what time the drill would be, just that it would be today. I hate lock down drills with a dying passion. I hate being herded like cattle to a room with no windows that I can't escape. I hate feeling like i'm in elementary school again. I think lock down drills are degrading and I hate them. I'm an adult and I feel like I should get a choice. So I planned to sit in my car during the drill. \n\n\n\n\nThe drill happened at noon. In between my 10:30AM and 12:15 class. So I walked out the front door towards my car. On the way to my car I was confronted by what seemed like a barrage of security staff and quality of life management members telling me to go back to room whatever. To which I said \"no thank you.\" I didn't get in trouble or anything, but it seemed like the staff members were pretty peeved that no one was taking it seriously. They even sent out a strongly worded email informing us that we should be taking the drills way more seriously.\n\n\n\nI feel like I know what to do if there were an actual school shooter. I do feel moderately bad for whatever staff members were being graded on the performance of the school. But I still feel like I did nothing wrong because, as I said to the staff, \"I'm an adult, no thank you.\"",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2f769c435d664c9cb3a5042067a857e7",
|
||
"input": "So last weekend my friend was at a party. And without suprise there were drugs and alcohol. Before that party my friend was never high and alway wanted to try it out because he couldn't imagine how the things i told him about it felt. \n\nAt the party he ate some brownies and was as he told me 'pretty high'. The day after the party we met up tu dicuss what happened during it ( i wasn't there because i wasn't invited). He told me about everything he felt and that he still felt a bit dizzy. 'It was a cool experience but i never wanna do it again'. Since then everything was cool and i was happy for him. \n\nBut then during the week he repeatedly said that he never want to do this while pointing out VERY CLEARLY to other peaple that he was HIGH. I was very bothered by it and told him in a very mean tone that i am annoyed and that i'm not bragging about it everytime i'm high. After that he was quite sad and didn't speak a lot to me. Now i'm asking myself AITA for being mad at my friend that he was bregging about beig high for the whole week ? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e8686753e0234efd98c18a72c88ca3cb",
|
||
"input": "I'm an American married to a Filipina, we've been together for 5 years married for 2. We live in the United States. \nWe met while teaching in Japan where we made approximately 25k USD/year which was enough to get by, but every month she would send money back to her family in the Philippines. Once we got serious and moved in together this never stopped. She'd defend it as \"well it's my money!\" but then use the money I made to cover things like dinners and outings. \n\n\nCurrently we're back in the United States and making more money, but she's sending a solid percentage of it back. We're at the point where we're really just making enough to cover our expenses and not paying off the credit card debt we accumulated from starting our lives here in the US. All of the money I make goes to our credit card (which we still use), health insurance for both of us, and retirement. Since we are waiting for her degree to be evaluated she hasn't started her career yet and is working jobs that don't come with benefits, so our pay checks are about the same after my deductions. She sends approximately 200-300 dollars per month which I feel we should be putting in retirement, paying off our credit card, or moving out of our shoe-box apartment. \n\n\nMy frustrations also stem from her family there. We help her mom with some spending money and purchase medicines for her, which I am absolutely 100% on board with, her mom sacrificed a lot for my wife to be able to attend college and deserves all the help we can give. My issue stems with two of her brothers. The oldest brother is \\~30, didn't finish high school, has never had a job other than driving a motorcycle around for a few months as a taxi, is covered in tattoos which is a big cultural no-no over there, and has an elementary aged son. He, his son, and his girlfriend live in the house my wife purchased rent free. I feel that at his age there's no reason for us to support him, that we're making it too easy for him to exist doing nothing and we're going to be stuck taking care of him forever. I've turned numb to \"medical emergencies\" and any other reason they need money. \n\n\nHer other brother is a college student, very smart guy and lives at home with us as well. We pay his college tuition which is dirt cheap \\~250/quarter I'm totally cool with him living rent free in the house there and I can grin-and-bear paying his tuition because it's so cheap, but part of me also feels that I'm $80,000 in debt for my university studies that I'll be paying on for a long time, why can't he go $4000? \n\n\nI understand the culture is different, I understand it's her family and she loves them, but I see the money she spends on them as depriving us of moving forward and establishing a better future while money is still tight. \n\n\nAITA? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7672602b8cef4f93bfeec1c651f1acfb",
|
||
"input": "Sorry if the title is kind of misleading, I'm not sure how to cram this situation into a sentence.\n\n​\n\nI work at a small grocery store behind the deli counter. I'm one of the few who switches between morning and night shifts, as I'm trained for both routines. There's not a lot of people who work in the department, probably around 10 total. Because of this, usually someone will work until a certain time and then someone else comes in to take that person's place.\n\nNow, I have this one coworker I'll refer to as \\[REDACTED\\]. \\[REDACTED\\] is always late. Always. That's not an exaggeration. Every. Single. Shift. He runs from 15-30 minutes late. I'm not sure why. I would think if there's a problem that causes him to be late he would had fixed it by now so I'm just assuming he doesn't care. The only reason why he isn't fired yet is because he's one of the 3 people who knows how to close down the department fully and does it the best.\n\nAnyways, this Sunday I was working a whopping 11 hour shift from 5am-4pm because a good amount of staff are college students and are taking spring break off to go back home/see family/ect. I wasn't super excited because that's 10 1/2 hours on my feet (only get one 30 minute break) and my longest shift I've ever worked in any of my jobs. I also have bad insomnia so a opening shift means probably 4 hours of sleep for me.\n\nAs the end of my shift was (thankfully) approaching, I ran over to the schedule to see who was taking over for me. It's \\[REDACTED\\]. A bit later it gets to 4pm (the time I was scheduled to leave) and to no one's surprise, \\[REDACTED\\]'s no where in sight. At this point my feet feel like they're withering away from the pain of being on my feet since 5 that morning and I'm seriously debating cutting off my feet as I'm sure that would hurt less than the state of my feet in that moment.\n\nAt roughly 4:20 (hehehehe) and STILL no sign of \\[REDACTED\\], I go over to one of my coworkers and say \"Fuck this, I'm leaving\". He starts to say something but I speedwalk toward the terminal and clock out, grab my jacket and backpack, and book it out of there, too emotionally and psychically exhausted to deal with anyone else.\n\n2 days later I come back into work and my coworker I talked to before practically running out of there was working. He comes up to me and basically says what I did was a dick move and I need to wait for \\[REDACTED\\] or whoever's coming to replace me before leaving. I argued that I would normally wait but 1) I worked a 11 hour shift that day and 2) \\[REDACTED\\] is always late, and, to be frank, that's not my problem. He didn't have a comeback after that but was still pretty rude and blunt to me the rest of the shift, as well as another one of my coworkers who saw me rush out of there.\n\n​\n\nSince then I've been probably overthinking this and feel pretty guilty. But Reddit, AITA??\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-347016999720491ba98931cdb649884a",
|
||
"input": "So without going into too much detail last summer I had very painful surgery. I basically had 2 metal bars put into my chest (nuss bars if you want to google it) and had to stay in hospital for like a week afterwards\n\nEventually when school started in August I got sick and went back into hospital (too complicated to fully explain but basically got very unwell). About a week after I got out of hospital I started to go back into school more.\n\nHowever there was 2 people, Bill and Bob (won’t use their real names) who kept shoving the other into me. Since it’s a pretty big school that’s not a surprise but the thing that annoyed me was the fact that it was the same 2 people 5 times within the space of a month. Normally I wouldn’t be annoyed with that but since I had had the surgery it hurt like hell whenever someone bumped into me never mind someone landing on top of me. The first 2 times it happened I had to go back into hospital for an x Ray to make sure the bars hadn’t moved (if they had moved I would die) and had to be on pain medication for a few days afterwards.\n\nSchool told them to stop but they kept doing it until I wasn’t able to go into school anymore (various reasons) so that (sort of) ended that.\n\nFlash forward to last summer where I got sick again and spent another month in hospital. Was very sick at one point but got out and just had to take some meds since then.\n\nAfter about 2 weeks of being out of hospital one of my friends told me that they were in an Xbox party with bill (the guy who kept shoving bob into me) and he was taking the piss out of me for being in hospital and saying that I should just go back in.\n\nFor that and several other reasons my friend who was in the party stopped talking to them so things were good for a while.\n\nExcept about a month ago they and someone else (his name shall be Steve) somehow found my WhatsApp number and reddit account (they aren’t linked in any way at all aside from me saying about my reddit on group chats and stuff).\n\nI tried blocking them but they just made new accounts\n\nThey ended up sending some wierd messages (calling me a retarded cunt, faggot and n*gger among other things) and they also sent porn (it was Hitler porn and shit) and threatened to kill me.\n\nAfter a few days they stopped talking to me completely. I thought that was the end of it but no.\n\nA couple of days ago Steve started messaging me on WhatsApp saying that I had asked him for a fight and stuff. I hadn’t (Iv never wanted to have a physical fight in my life). He then started messaging stuff like “love you *kiss*” and other stuff.\n\nSo anyway I told my friends about it and stuff and most of them agreed with me that they were dicks and stuff (obviously) except one said that I should just keep talking to the guys and that “the stuff they said wasn’t bad” and got annoyed at me for not wanting to talk to them\n\nMy question is AITA for not wanting to talk to those guys?\n\nSorry for the massive amount of text.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5cef2df5fc0846038bf876748ce9eafc",
|
||
"input": "From the top...Wife has scheduled the birthday party for memorial weekend (to provide for more time together, especially for those that have to travel). Incidentally parents are leaving for vacation to Italy, first time to Europe/out of country, the following weekend. Which they have been planning for probably 6+ months now. \n\nIn my wife's defense she claims there are undertones of not showing up for things. I would argue it goes both ways. We used my (and some of my mom's) airline points to fly mom and grandma into town for our baby shower. We ended up not heading down (5 hours drive) for brothers graduation (wife was 8 months pregnant) where whole family (my side) was present. We did travel down the previous weekend for her sisters baby shower. \n\nThe next bit is important, for context as it puts more importance upon every baby related event. Dad missed still born birth of first child, albeit I believe he was going to come down for a funeral service because he wanted to be there for that, which didn't end up happening. This is the one that really sets the undertone as my wife believes dad will fully missed, where as I believe it to be a miscommunication to our plans to remember. Doesn't help that we've never talked about it. \n\nAm I the asshole for not being annoyed, and conciquently not sticking up for my family, with my parents for not being able to make it to said birthday party? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-60d40ead98d94d3c80682ccafff7ac0d",
|
||
"input": "As long as I have been born, my Mum has been over weight. She has tried numerous diets etc but always gives up.\n\nShe turned 60 last year and along with that has come some complications around her weight. It is a vicious cycle of not being able to exercise properly due to bad knees etc, gaining more weight, therefore not being able to exercise.\n\nMy Dad is suffering because of it. He is a very active and social person, but my Mum really struggles. She can't walk more than a few km's at a time and social events tire her out - a lot.\n\nShe needs to loose weight, there is no doubt about it and my family all agree she needs an intervention... however no one is willing to give her the hard word because they don't want to upset her.\n\nI LOVE my Mum. She is the best Mother I could ever wish for and as it stands - she won't be around to see my children.\n\nAm I the Asshole for wanting to give it to her straight? \n\nWe have found a personal trainer, I know a nutritionist, we are all willing to do it together as a family.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-db5acc95132a422cb40bf93ec1ef3bff",
|
||
"input": "Context: I am male to female transgender and do go by a name other than my legal name.\n\nI have been out of the closet for nearly two years this coming March and have been using the name Valerie since October a year and a half ago. I am far from passing but starting medical treatments as soon as this Thursday. Most of the time people are pretty good about using my name and pronouns and I'm pretty forgiving of slip ups depending on the situation but I had one person who kept using my deadname \"by mistake\". \n\nBack in August I finally decided I wouldn't even respond to my deadname, unless it was someone who I wasn't out to yet, so I tried to ignore this person as long as I could. This weekend I snapped, I was out shopping for clothes with some friends in a forever 21 and she kept calling me 'he' and 'him'. I yelled at them in the store and put the things I had grabbed back before storming back out to drive home.\n\nWhen I got home I started feeling really guilty because I've never really gotten so angry at anyone to the point of causing a scene. I haven't talked to her since nor have I heard from most of the other people I was out with, the one that has talked to me said it was pretty shitty of me so I decided to post here.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c2ac86898b8a43e29a2e44d69696a73e",
|
||
"input": "Okay, this is complicated, and I've been getting mixed responses from the friends I've shared with, so I think I need a neutral set of eyes to look at the situation. I'll try to keep this brief, but knowing me it'll be a novel, so be prepared.\n\nHere's the backstory - my sister is 17 now, and I'm 26 (almost). Because of our age difference I helped to raise her in some ways, and as kids we often spent time together. And I swear, I've never loved anyone more than I loved my sister. To say that for most of her life she's been my entire world would be an understatement. She was my everything, we influenced each other a lot when she was younger. She got a great sense of humor thanks to me (a trait the two of us share but neither of our parents does), as well as a love for videogames, anime and other nerdy stuff. Some of my best memories were spent with her, playing games side by side, or her watching me play through something that's too difficult for her, or me helping her beat her first game. \n\nAnd then she entered high school (this was a few years ago, when she was 13), and things changed. She suddenly matured a lot, both in terms of her personality and body. She started getting interested in make-up, fancy shampoos and clothes, which I (despite being female) never quite cared about, these things have always been a means to an end rather than something to obsess about. She got her own group of friends her age for the first time (she's often had 1-2 close friends but has never been part of a group). Eventually she found a boyfriend too. And you know what? That's fantastic and perfectly normal. I was a loser in high school, the weird kid everyone bullied and made fun of, but she's a popular girl, a cheerleader and overall highly social. Which is great, and I genuinely could not be happier that she's having fun in school.\n\nThe problems started to emerge when her personality shift suddenly made me second fiddle. Obviously our relationship could never be the same as it used to be, she's a teenager and I'm in my 20s, with a job, I get that we wouldn't be able to spend too much time together. But we barely spent *any* time together at all. Every evening she brought along her group of friends to girly scream all night, which sucked considering the fact that I was trying to sleep. Requests to do this less often were rebuffed by both her and my mother (who considers me the disappointment of the family and is beyond happy my sister is turning out so different from me). This ultimately led to me moving out. \n\nAfter that, whenever I tried to initiate contact with her I'd usually be rebuffed. Half the time whenever I said hi to her on Messenger she'd leave me hanging on \"seen\", and when I asked her about it she used the excuse of \"Oh, the messages are not showing up for me\" (bullshit). Whenever I asked to hang out, either at my place to play something or watch a movie, or maybe hang out at the mall or go for coffee (I try to meet her halfway, interest-wise) she'd say yes, and then when a day before the date or sometimes on the date itself she'd message me saying she's made plans with a friend of hers and won't be coming. I'd invite the family to dinner at my place, and last-minute I'd get a call from my mother telling me my sister doesn't feel like coming.\n\nGradually we lost touch. The first time this happened we didn't speak for about a year, and us getting back in touch was mostly orchestrated by my mother. She was overjoyed to have me back in her life, and I was too, and for a while things were great! This lasted maybe a month, maybe two tops, and then she was back to her old self again, and the same thing happened, we stopped speaking. And that brings us to our current situation. A few months ago she messages me out of the blue and is like \"Let's hang out\", so I say sure, why not, olive branch and stuff. We hang out, it's super fun, and she off-handedly mentions that her boyfriend has a D&D group that he refuses to let her into, and she'd really like to play. I say \"Don't worry, I've ran D&D games too, I'll invite a few friends over and we can play.\"\n\nI organize everything, invite her, her boyfriend and three of my own friends to play, and it was without a doubt the worst D&D session I've ever had in my life, mostly because of her. Her character was completely wrong for the setting (she wanted to play Connor from \"Detroit\" in a fantasy setting), she had almost no usable skills, and despite the fact that a few days prior we went over this and told her to make a paladin with certain skills, even going over the character backstory together, she listened to none of that. Halfway through she completely refused to participate at all, just sat quietly on her phone while the rest of us played. Surprise-surprise, after the fact she whined to her boyfriend about how \"left out\" she felt, and he happily invited her into his own D&D group. The three friends and I planned to continue playing, and I invited the boyfriend over with us since he seemed to have fun, but he said my sister told him he wouldn't be a real man by her if he went. So he refused. And it's really hard for me not to see this whole thing, with her suddenly getting back into touch, as a plan for her to get what she wanted and couldn't have, namely a place on her boyfriend's group. \n\nI'm thoroughly disgusted by her behavior in front of my friends and cut contact, and she doesn't try to contact me either (I haven't blocked her anywhere but neither of us write). Very recently I happened to adopt a kitten, the sweetest, most lovable snugglebug in the whole world. My mother came over and fell in love with her, and she regularly comes by to play with her while I'm at work. This week she took my sister along with her, and apparently my sister really loved the kitten. Right as rain, today I get a call from my sister out of the blue saying how sorry she is for the D&D and asking to come hang out. And I wasn't mean, I wasn't rude, but I honestly explained that we're not really friends anymore, we've grown too far apart, and this has been working out for me. It's amazing to not have someone who treats you like you're nothing most of the time, it really is. And she said \"Okay, I'm sorry\" and burst into tears. \n\nAnd now I feel like an absolute ass. Because on one hand maybe she contacted me out of the blue, like before, to get something she wants - namely time to spend with the kitten. After all why contact me now, of all times? She had plenty of time before. Not to mention even if her intentions are 100% unrelated to the kitten, what's my guarantee that she won't start treating me like dirt in 2-3 weeks? After all this behavior is nothing new, she's been doing it for years, and I doubt she's matured enough in just a few months. But on the other, what if this was a genuine attempt for her to try and change our relationship for the better? What if she truly wanted to turn over a new leaf and I shut her down? I'd love to have her as a friend, I really would, but only if she was willing to put in the work to be my friend rather than making me do it all. If she's planning to go back to her old tricks, or just uses me as an excuse to come pet my cat, then I don't really need her in my life. \n\nI don't know her intentions and this is really the source of my conflict. Should I have given her yet another shot hoping she'd matured and learned from her mistakes? Am I the asshole for rejecting her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1f3cbcdaf7bb43cbadd5c0151acfad43",
|
||
"input": "I’m a 17(m) and I dated this on and off for years when I was 15 to 16. We ended the relationship in the end because of some personal problems that were happening to me and it affected her in the end which I felt awful about. Because of the personal problems I faced I moved in with my uncle to another state to deal with them. Now after 6 months of being up there and 18 months of not even talking to me, she starts spreading stuff and saying stuff about me behind my back when I came down to visit for the summer. After summer ended I went back home kinda hating her even though I didn’t want to. So now present day I recently I texted to kinda talk it out and she still bears that grudge. Aith in this situation???",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f845996994d1472a9190eaea68356f1a",
|
||
"input": "My girlfriend and I live together and frequently see her family 2-3 times a week - each of these times being an all day event that I get feel guilted into going to by my girlfriend. It has just been too much for me. I'm happy to see them occasionally and do my duty so to speak, but it's just been too frequent for me. In no universe do I want to prevent her from seeing them, but I feel that I need to be opting out more often than not recently. She has gotten frustrated with me whenever I opt out. \n\n​\n\nHer family are genuinely great people, but it is exhausting being with them. We connect politely, but I don't really have much in common with her parents or her sister. When we're over there she is enjoying her time, chatting, doing whatever -- but I'm always left twiddling my thumbs (and I try to make small talk, connect, etc.). I swear I have tried, but the experience is 9 times out 10 just immensely boring - and I feel that I need to be sort of \"on my best behavior\" - which is exhausting. What can be frustrating too is that she'll go off with her sister and literally ignore me when I try to continue a conversation with them -- or just hang out. I get that seeing her family is a part of the deal, but spending time with them is killing me and I don't get why I have to be there along with her so frequently. \n\n​\n\nCase in point: we went to her family's for Thanksgiving. We were there for the day, awesome, cool, normal Thanksgiving. Then, it's like 7 pm - about time to leave right? Great to see you, hugs, bye - then, she decides to sleep over. She poses this as a question to me - but it's not really a question, it's an answer yes or I'll get teary eyed, pouty, and become a mute for the rest of the day. So 7 pm to 11 pm is spent watching fucking America's Funniest Home videos with her family, who I've already spent \\~10-15 hours with that week -- and literally just kill me. The next morning we are then still there until like 1 pm - she's talking to her parents about different things, while I am twiddling my thumbs. \n\n​\n\nSo, this sort of a came to a head today. She's going over her parents to make perogies for Christmas. I offered to come for 4-5 hours to help out. She was less than content with this idea. She told me she doesn't know when she wants to leave (read: we will be leaving at 10 pm and the entire Saturday will be spent with me attempting to make small talk and twiddling my thumbs). I offered to drive my own car and leave after the 4-5 hours. Same answer. I can't imagine that I was being unreasonable. \n\n​\n\nAm I the asshole and does anyone have any advice moving forward?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-09d4f25eb695468bbec1b6c272a846b9",
|
||
"input": "Just some context! In my city, there's a tradition of throwing wedding socials to raise money for the bride and groom. It's basically a large fundraising party where everyone gets together and buys drink/raffle tickets to support wedding costs.\n\n​\n\nI'm getting married in 6 months to an amazing man -- we've been together for almost 3 years now. We're all a part of the same friend group, we all knew each other through school growing up, and I also knew my ex-boyfriend (of 6 years) from that friend group. It's been a few years (I dated my fiance shortly after we broke up), but I know he's not over me; I'll get texts still whenever he's out drinking, and he's expressed that it's hard for him to see me moving on with my fiance even years later. It's caused a few rifts in our friend group and at times I've even asked my friends to not include him because of his behaviour.\n\n​\n\nIt's a really tight knit group, so obviously everyone (except my ex) is in the wedding party. This basically includes all of the friends that we both grew up with, and definitely all of his friends. My ex hasn't been doing well lately, and everyone's been saying he's going through a rough time. I wanted to have my social on St. Patrick's Day, but everything was booked up, so I had it two weeks before which HAPPENED to be on my ex's birthday. My ex was invited (everyone in the friend group was), showed up, and seemed to enjoy himself.\n\n​\n\nThe other day, one of my bridesmaids said they felt bad that he had to choose between going to my wedding social or essentially doing nothing for his birthday, since all of his friends had to be at my social and wouldn't have been able to do anything with him. Honestly, that didn't even cross my mind. Like, I think it's been way too long for him to still be hung up on me, and while I could have had the social another day, it's my wedding and it's not like I need to cater to his feelings just because he can't move on. Apparently he had a really hard time at my social, but I wasn't really checking in on him so I don't know for sure what that was about.\n\n​\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1486617ea26a4c63af5028c517c799d0",
|
||
"input": "I got my IUD replaced in December. Before having an IUD I had an incredibly irregular period but I was incredibly lucky with symptoms - little to no cramping or other inconvenience. \nI do not have any memory of the adjustment period when I first got an IUD 5 years ago - all I know is I deemed it well worth the inconvenience to have 5 ensuing years of safety.\n\nSo renewal time comes up. I'm now with a different partner than last time. I go in for the appt. During replacement, I endure some serious pain despite being pre-medicated by prescribed preventative meds, but still consider it worth the pain. \n\nA week later, we leave for vacation. And throughout the vacation I'm plagued with intermittent cramps. Not just normal day-to-day cramps. Cramps so painful I cant think, and so painful in my abdomen that the pain actually radiates down my legs and causes involuntary leg spasms.\n\nYeah, having a uterus is fun, guys! \n\nOf course this is very hit-and-miss. Some days I only experience minimal pain. Some days I cant sleep at night because 4 ibuprofen aren't even touching the pain. \n\nWe get back from vacation so it's time for me to re-commence my workout routine: 4 crossfit classes per week. \n\nFirst day back. It hurts like hell. I make a decision that seems obvious: I cant function or perform, so I will skip my workout that day.\n\nCommence lecture about how willpower overrides discomfort, shame about how I wouldn't be able to make up for it later that week due to schedule complications, how \"that shit didnt stop you from an adventure attempt on vacation\"\n(Referring to when we went on a 2 day hiking/kayaking adventure during vacation, during which I didnt have any pain during day 1 and on day 2, on our way out, I had such severe cramps that I could barely stand, but toughed it out while carrying my 50lb pack)\n\nSo, OBVIOUSLY this is a one-sided story, and I dont like that. But that's why I'm posting here: I'm having trouble separating myself from my viewpoint and I want to know if I'm really being a mamby pamby pansy, or if it's a real thing that menstrual cramps can cause pain to a level that exercise is temporarily not a realistic undergoing. \n\n\nP.s. I have googled cramps in relation to exercise and all I can get the internet to say is \"oh yes exercising helps cramps feel better!!!\" Which is why I am (a)looking for firsthand opinions and (b) having second thoughts on my instincts. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6e40d485b45946028970aef109666b4f",
|
||
"input": "I had some buddies back in elementary. It was the end of the day. I was talking with my friend, when another girl came in. I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but eventually she started punching my arm. Hard. After a bit of that, I let my bottled anger out. I’m a naturally a shy kid. I knew what being an introvert was, but I didn’t think I was one at the time. I hit my breaking point and I grabbed her backpack. I threatened to dump it all out, and she started hitting me again. Another kid comes along and keeps bumping into me. It was intentional. I then did one of those “push the dude with your body while your walking into him” things. Another girl comes along, I don’t remember what she did, but I remember also getting angry at her. Back then. I didn’t get angry very easily, and when I did I let it go. I actually held a grudge against these three for like a week. We’re still friends. I just let my anger out then.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-51847c41af81400abddef89a6a305ad2",
|
||
"input": "So a bit of backstory, at my workplace, anything goes. Everyone is really playful with banter, you wanna throw something across the store? go for it. Wanna shout to the bakery person \"Hey, Masturbater\" (nickname for the master baker) sure thing! wanna literally tackle each other and call each other pricks/cunts etc? Knock yourself out! \n\n​\n\nSo anyway, my supervisor, who's the most playful and full of fun banter, known for jumpscaring people and trying to hand you stuff, dropping at infront of you and walking away, he tells me his SO is coming in the store, and she's more brutally full of dark humor and harsh banter than anyone in the store, talking up some pretty big game, so I think it might be fun.\n\n​\n\nShe comes in and hears that we playfully throw soft things at each other and fake hit each other all the time and she gets protective in a way like \"only I can bully my man\" kinda attitude and I play along and say stuff like \"it's only self defense\" and \"I just give as good as I get\"\n\n​\n\nSo it's coming a bit forward in to the day and we're chatting, my supervisor throws something at me so I say \"is that so\" and walk behind him to fake kick him in the ass, his SO jumps inbetween us with her fist raised as if to say \"do it and I'll punch you\" and we both know it's only banter. I then say \"Oh hey, looks like you've got a loyal guard dog on your side\" and everyone bursts out laughing except for her, she goes red in the face and starts getting aggressive because I used the word \"dog\" even though I meant it in a positive and banterish way. \n\n​\n\nAITA for assuming she wouldn't freak out at a non-negative context \"loyal guard dog\" because she was willing to fight for her partner, even though everyone said she's more brutal and doesn't get bothered by anything? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6ceb95a699e445908dc1aae45e978167",
|
||
"input": "The titles says most of it. I'm getting a tattoo design however she has an actual phobia to part of the design, it makes her physically ill to look at it.\nI haven't gotten it yet.\nShe says she's okay with it and I should do what I want, but I can't help but feel guilty about it, and want to change the design.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-71d57e9d0dfb43fa8e7c883eb8df912f",
|
||
"input": "I have a friend in school who is pretty rude and downright insults me throughout the day (I’ll call her Kristine), but I kinda just deal with it so as to not make things awkward between our entire friend group.\n\n\nToday, one of my teachers presented me with the option of creating my classes seating chart rather than her doing it like normal. Of course, I took her up on the offer.\n\n\nI purposely put all of my friends who are also friends with Kristine on one side of the room and Kristine on the other side.\n\n\nMy intention was not to isolate Kristine, but may be perceived as such which could make me TA. I wanted to just be with my friends while also keeping her away from me so that she could not belittle and bully during that part of the day like she always does when I’m with her.\n\n\nWhen she found out that I put her in that spot, she reacted pretty negatively and got pretty mad.\n\n\nSo AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ae4fe5d68c5a4b80a9810e295febe814",
|
||
"input": "Throwaway for obvious reasons.\n\nMy coworker is currently pregnant and everyone is gushing over her constantly. All I hear all day long is pregnancy jokes, comments, or baby talk. Especially now as her due date is around the corner.\n\nI am happy for her, but I have had 3 miscarriages within the past 13 months. The last one I had major complications with and there is a chance I won't be able to get pregnant again as a result. My coworkers are aware of the last one because it happened later in the pregnancy (22 weeks) and we had announced. \n\nI'm genuinely happy for her, I really am. And I try to be supportive. But, I cannot make myself be enthusiastic. \n\nThe office manager confronted me about it this morning because I'm the only person not constantly asking the pregnant coworker how she's feeling, etc and the manager noticed. She feels I should be over what happened or at least be able to pretend enthusiasm. Again I have always been supportive and kind to the pregnant coworker, I just don't gush over her or start conversations with her that involve her pregnancy or child. \n\nI thought I was doing fine, but this confrontation by the office manager makes me wonder if I'm really being an asshole? I don't talk about my miscarriages with any of them anymore, not since I was finally over the medical complications and even that was just because I couldn't do things at work that I normally do without risking a trip to the ER. I'm a very private person and I while I was open with saying \"I'm not ok, but I'm doing better than yesterday.\" I never opened up to anyone in the office about what I was going through beyond just \"this happened and as a result I can't do X until my doctor clears me for that type of work\". \n\nI honestly don't know if I can fawn over my pregnant coworker at this point. I feel horrible about it after what my manager said, but its all I can do sometimes to just smile and nod to the conversation regarding her pregnancy/baby instead of crying. I don't expect everyone to treat me special by any means, but am I really the asshole for not pretending to be ecstatic about this?\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d01a1b09be564959addffb1e7bc2c184",
|
||
"input": "It's late at night and I wanted to go out to Timmies for a coffee. I figured I'd take my dog with me for something for him to do so I told him we were going for a car ride. He got really excited and sat in front of the door waiting for me to take him outside to the car.\n\n I grabbed him by the collar and walked him out, but I didn't know that it had started to snow not too long ago and the instant I stepped outside I slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. Still, I got up still holding him and we walked to the car. I was about to open the door for him until I looked at the road and saw that it was covered in light snow. \n\nI suddenly decided I didn't want to have to deal with driving in fresh snow while also having a big dog in the car so I would just drive out to Timmies myself and leave my dog at home. I looked at Brutus and said 'no. No car ride.' And he immediately looked disappointed as we started to head back inside.\n\nAs I let him inside the house and closed the door, I looked through the window and him and he stared back at me but in a way that looked like he was expecting me to take him back out there any second for the promised car ride. I said 'no car ride' one more time and started walking to me car. I could hear him whining on the other side of the door.\n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5ffc2d581f7b46918d135ec5aa02ac12",
|
||
"input": "My fiancée and I are in university. She graduates this semester. I still have three left. We are the same age, she was just a little more focused than I was. Being that she is graduating and I still have almost two years left, she could move to my city where my university is. It would save us a fair chunk of money and help us plan our wedding. Instead, she chose to go full time with her current job to further her career. She's a human resources major, so she can get a job anywhere. I stressed to her how much I wanted her to move to me, but she made her decision. Our relationship is the most important thing to me and I would do anything for her. I was quite hurt by her decision as it feels like our relationship takes a backseat to her career. Now she thinks I'm an asshole for voicing my displeasure with her choice. Am I being an asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-83098b6a58164c51a53b1e6c61f7196f",
|
||
"input": "For the sake of privacy, I'll name my friend Ryan and the girl Jen.\n\nSo, it started when we entered 12th grade. we had a reshuffle and OP, Ryan and jen and we became classmates. Me and ryan are close friends since Grade 11, because of a certain game we play. when we had some people join our friend group and Ryan met jen. Ryan pretty obviously liked jen, but he didn't make any moves and jen thinks they are only friends, and ryan seems to be okay with it. I even asked him if he likes her but he quickly changes the topic. Then on Feb 14th, valentines day, i asked her out for a friendly date, and she agreed. It was only a friendly date, after school, but Ryan saw us and he was furious because we said we were going home but we instead, had a date. It was only a friendly date, but ryan seems to not understand it, and not believing me because i sent love letters & stuff. I got mad, because he acts like they had a relationship, but in reality they are only friends. we still don't talk to each other to this date.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f3d23749f1774db9805ce5d3fa088b7f",
|
||
"input": "Due to uni/career/relationship, both my sister and I moved away from the seaside town we grew up in around 20 years ago. I genuinely excuse my sister- she's thoroughly established in the city she lives in now, which is just about easily drivable to our home town, but is where her job, her children's school & friends, her husband's job and her husband's family are. I can't excuse myself though. I currently live much further away, I can't drive so it's a 4 hour train journey and I need to take a couple of days' holiday and arrange for cat care to get home, and my partner and his family, and my job which is going well and which I could progress in and would like to progress in are here. I'm 40; I have no, and can't have, children, I live alone with my cat but my partner and I are happy and very much in love as we are which is living separately (for irrelevant reasons). But, my dad passed a couple of months ago so my mum is now on her own in the seaside town we both grew up in. She's doing really well; she has a lot of friends, she's making a lot of good progress in terms of adapting her life, my sister can visit more regularly than I can and does so and also has her children who want to see their grandma. But, the town is dead- there is no work there, it is run-down and younger (than me, but it was the same when I was 18 or so) people have to leave to find better work; my friends I grew up with have all but left- there is nothing for me there, unless I took a job at a supermarket or something and tried to work up which would be in stark contrast to the job I have now in the city I live in, which is nearly management level but still ok-but-not-great-paid but the benefits are good. I'm happy here, is what I'm saying. My partner, my flat, my job, my friends, practical things like my doctor are here, I can see a future here. But, my mum's on her own and it's difficult to get down to her as often as I'd like- the train fare is about 1/10 of what I earn a month, I need to take holiday to make (just the journey, I'm not meaning this in relation to seeing her) worth it otherwise I'm there and turning back round to go to the station, and I just keep thinking go home, go and live with her, don't leave her on her own... but, I also think she wouldn't want me to leave my job and be working minimum wage (I'm not exaggerating about that; there is NO decent, prospective work in the town I grew up in), and to not be with my boyfriend like I am now because I'm 40 and I don't want to start again with that and she really likes him and she knows we're happy together, and I now it's all relatively new because it's only been a couple of months since my dad passed and we're all still adjusting and it's probably too soon as my long-term family friend/uncle has advised me, to think about any big thing anyway, and I've only come back from seeing my mum today so I'm probably just feeling raw about it, but AITA for not thinking immediately and rightly- I should move back to my dead-end home town to be with my widowed mum? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6380d626539f499bae8845ef7e02cdc2",
|
||
"input": "I’ve done this twice in airports now. Just a simple “would it really *kill* you to wash your hands?” I literally see people come out of stalls after taking a gigantic dump— the kind that leaves remnants and skid marks— only to not wash their hands and proceed to touch everything in the vicinity. Able-bodied people who can easily make it 3 steps to the fucking sink. These women turn beet red when called out, and I have no shame about it. This is the fuck why hepatitis lives on surfaces and gets in food. \n\nAITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2f89505e15494a398ca800df4a4bf753",
|
||
"input": "In short, my wife and I were sitting down at a public event. It started to get crowded (open seating) so we stood back up. Mind you, we were early to the event and got our place “reserved” early.\n\nLater, a couple of older ladies come in right behind us when we were sitting down. This is the point when it was crowded so we stood up, only to hear snarling of these old people behind us\n\nShe tapped us and said would you mind sitting back down, and we pretty much laughed and ignored her.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-88a4f8bb21734dc3b22509d32436c097",
|
||
"input": "Mannn there’s a lot of context to this situation, I typed most of it but I just want to be direct and make this easy for anyone reading.\n\nMy mother and I aren’t on good terms. In my opinion it’s because we are both fucked in the head, in her opinion, In the only one with issues...\n\nSo after over a year of almost no communication from my family I started cutting social media ties and changed my phone number.\n\nFind some self help groups, read some books, start looking at the world differently. \n\nEventually, my mom gets in touch with me. \n\nI try to explain that I’m not just some nice push over anymore, and I’m really upset with a lot of the decisions she made in my youth, which she just takes personally and Tried to flip the power dynamic and play the victim. \n\nI also explain I’m trying to grow and get my shit together, and one of the things to do that is increase freedom.\n\nI want a passport and if possible a second residency, as well as more connections to provide me options in life. \n\nA man lives and dies by his options.\n\nWell every time I ask her his name, she ignores me and doesn’t reply. (Talking via text). I explained to her why I am asking for this info, and it doesn’t help.\n\nI could see that since he abandoned us, he could still be a piece of shit, but it’s been almost 30 years.\n\nI wanna make the man choose and be a piece of shot to me. Not some random chick from work he accidentally got knocked up.\n\nWorse possible scenario, he tells me fuck off.... \n\nAnd considering how much my other family doesn’t speak to me, why not. \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f4331c17cb6b4d688377b08b77638b8e",
|
||
"input": "Background: me and my dad were coming to the mall and going shopping, we were also goung to the food court. My brother who like being healthy said that he didnt want it as its UnHealThY and FaKE. So I warned his ass that if he was hungry then don't complain.\n\nmain story: I'm in the car with some clothes and left over food listening to music and scrolling through reddit, when my brother asks for some if my food as I open my leftovers. I say no becuase it's my food and I was a little hungry. He gets mad and says that he wont ever order me food again (prior to this he would order me food sometimes)\n\nTLDR: went to get food, brother didnt want any because its unhealthy , now wants some of my leftovers but i say no",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ee84909091694308bfa6f6750807e993",
|
||
"input": "We've been dating for two years now. Almost all of those two years she's been depressed. It's mean to say, but I'm fucking sick of it.\n\nWe almost never have sex. She doesen't work and I'm a neat freak, yet my place is always disgusting. \n\nWhen we first started dating she acted like she enjoyed sex and when I asked her about it, she said she just faked it.\n\nWe've been dating for 8 months, living together for one.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-018a74f03eaf46519b77066d0818ab1c",
|
||
"input": "So me and my friend group is pretty large, but close knit. It's a odd group, it's mostly odd misfits just kind of mashed together, but we are generally all very close, think of it like an old western gang, that all stick together, through everything, despite everyone being from radically different walks of life, and such. \n\nThis guy, A, is one of the senior members I suppose. He's known a few of the more prominent folks since they were kids. I only met him last summer, since I basically made my way into the group in the last 8 months or so. Despite that, I can probably say that I'm a big part of the group now. I'm one of the people that is basically up for whatever, and as such I've gotten to know people fairly well. \n\nA, however, comes and goes as he pleases. This is fine, lots of people do this, but he seems to think he has this huge amount of authority in the group. Like, if there's a problem between two people, he's the one that goes and fixes (not) things, wether he knows the people or even the first thing about the situation. He basically inserts himself in whatever happens, without asking, and sort of hangs on until you ignore him, like even deep seated family shit.\n\nHe also has no sense of what's socially appropriate. Once, he randomly sat down with me and the girl I was seeing at the time, and basically sort of nagged his way into helping me and her with her essay, despite her never even having even met this guy before.\n\nAlso, he's a HUGE leech, he basically refuses to clean up when hanging out, and refuses to leave if you let him stay over.\n\nThe last straw was this week, when he apparently decided he wanted to become a shaman. All of the sudden everyone's FB walls were filled with shaman nature shit, and videos of him doing \"shaman rituals\". This is nothing new, last month he was apparently a pagan, and spammed pagan shit, despite knowing that there are legitimate pagans in our group. We ended up gathered and just ripping on that shaman shit, and we got to discussing other things about him, and his behavior, which is interesting but not really interested in sharing here. AWTA?\n\nTL;DR - A friend recently became a shaman or whatever, me and my friends got to talking about him in general after having a laugh about the shaman stuff. Turns out we all think he's creepy, a huge leech, and we all made sort of a group decision to stop associating with him en masse. Am I, and my friends the assholes?\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7b310f181e06498db59bf893fdfe8533",
|
||
"input": "So 3 of us (me, my ex, and my friend) go to the same class we are all 17 years old, and recently, my gf(I'll refer to her as N) and I broke up.It was mostly mutual, but i feel like she broke up with me more than i broke up with her and i still like her. \n \nSo it's been 4 months since we stopped dating and in that time i noticed my friend, who we'll call P, getting closer with her, which is fine it's okay for them to be friends i can't tell him or her who to be friends with.BUT here is where i see some red flags, from time to time i see him being flirty and getting closer to her, he spends time with her friends who he said he hates multiple times while i was with N and even after that. \n \nNow i know N would never be with P, she pretty much looks at him like at a gay friend and i'm sure of it, i know things can change but i'm pretty sure she is just friends with him and will continue to be.But my friend seems like he likes her, i asked him a few times, and was told by him that my 2 other friends already told him to cut that stuff out because they thought it's not cool.What broke the camels back was him getting very close and touchy with her, she didn't reciprocate it and moved a little.Now that got me mad and i told him that if he continues with that stuff we couldn't be friends and asked him to cut it out, he got very defensive and kept saying he doesn't know what i'm talking about and that he is just her friend even tho it doesn't look like that to me or to 3-4 other friends. \n \nSince then i haven't said a word to him, basically ignoring him.He didn't say anything either in last 5 days and continued talking to N, looks like this friendship means very little to him.I'm gonna talk it out with him if he says something first, but i'm not going to be the one to talk to him first cause i feel like i'm in the right here. \n \n \nTL;DR:My friend of 2 years, started getting closer to my ex which who i broken up 3 months ago, both me and my friends noticed this and I talked to him about it, he got very defensive and i started ignoring him.Friends says i'm overreacting because we've been friend for 2 years which makes me think that *maybe* i'm the asshole, what do you guys think? \n \n \nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e1e7d00c311c4e7ebce44bcf220d0ff5",
|
||
"input": "I’ve been a part of a small group of friends for a couple years now, but I feel as though we aren’t as equal anymore.\n\nThere are 3 of us and we all share an undying passion for art. I usually refrain for caring much about others’ artwork unless I’m critiquing something as I feel that indulging other’s art can be harmful on feeling of self-worth and motivation, but because these are my friends, I give input on them a lot. Recently, I’ve been shown some incredible stuff from both of them -I still manage to give input on proportions or design choices, but it gets tougher and tougher each time. I’m happy for them as I know they are very passionate about what they do, but there’s this underlying feeling of frustration and fear.\n\nI’m not frustrated at my friends, more so at myself for not improving as much as them or as quick. Both of them improve immensely as I’m left in their dust- hitting an invisible wall that they’ve crossed, but I can’t. I’ve contacted one friend about the situation I’m in and she says that there’s nothing wrong with what I’m feeling and that my thoughts are valid, but I’m still indifferent on her conclusion. \n\nFor this one in particular, the title would be more fitting as “Am I *an* asshole” instead of “Am I *the* asshole”.\n\nI’m happy to clear anything up if needed.\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f3b4732087ab4942b431160b8235873a",
|
||
"input": "So two of my friends had to go get lunch from one of their moms. But it started raining on the way there and it was pouring down hard. So one of my friends, “Joe”, straight up left the other one to get the lunch. Joe had an umbrella while the other friend did not. So he got soaked while getting the food and Joe still just took the lunch. He believes that he was in the right cuz he was tired. Is he the asshole for leaving his friend in the rain?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b1481f33676f4c8f94885815a4823745",
|
||
"input": "This is gonna sound stupid but for a pretty long time I've wanted a htc vive. I brought it up and said i wanted it for Christmas. My Mom is doing that \"I'm not sure if i can get you that but ill get something similar\" am i the asshole for just wanting her to give me money so i can buy it myself.\n\nThis sounds so fucking whiney (because it is) but why make her buy something i wont use for 200 instead of giving me 200 so i can add my 300 that I already have. To me it just makes sense but idk if she is going to like that, because people generally like to give \"gifts\" and just handing over cash is generally looked down upon \"at least in my pasty white af family\"",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cf1b629a34d546d0b3f7f14dcc15325f",
|
||
"input": "M27 F28, both graduated and have stable jobs. Been together 7 years.\n\nSo, long story short, I am pro-life. \n\nWhen we learned that she was pregnant(around two weeks ago), I immediately resolved to be there for her and support her through every stage of the pregnancy. \n\nThen, two weeks later, she tells me she wants an abortion, because she doesn't want the responsibility of having a child in her life just yet.\n\nAs it goes against my beliefs, I don't want her to have an abortion. But, I want to respect my girlfriend's right to choose. \n\nI want to propose an ultimatum. The abortion or me. I am willing and wanting to sacrifice everything for this child, but if she isn't willing, then I don't want to impede her. \n\nI also don't want to be the dick that proposes an ultimatum. \n\nWIBTA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-225b7e978c1f4921970efd8ccf014577",
|
||
"input": "Long distance relationship, like Europe to U.S. long 30/m and 45/f. She's visiting me for 5 weeks. She has less then a week left. I have made EVERY day since she was in town available to her except my Friday nights. Those have been my D&D nights for the past 6 years. She knew this when we were still just talking. Her previous two trips its been the same way. I have given up 5 weeks of pokemon hunting/raiding on my own free will coming home to see her each night. Skipping out on community days and hanging out with my friends except the Friday nights. \n\nWith the snow storms hitting lately we were snowed in for 5 days and I did my best to give her a good time watching movies and spending time together. The last two nights Ive come home to her being in a grumpy attitude. I try to talk to her and get one or two word answers. I give her space and let her play on my computer while I sit on the bed with a switch ready to suspend it if she talks to me. Wednesday night she said nothing all night then gets upset at bedtime because \"the day didn't go as planned\". Last night similar thing but I was able to talk to her for a few minutes. All week Ive offered to drive us to the beach for the weekend if she wants to go and Ive offered to talk time off work next week to spend with her. She doesn't see that. She just sees that the one night a week for my friends is in her way. Yes I hardly see her. No she doesn't have anyone else to spend time with while Im at my friends for 4-5 hours on Friday nights. Yes I offer to invite her.\n\nIs it wrong to want 1 night a week to myself/friends even if she is visiting? We got invited to a friends party this weekend and Ive left it up to her if we go but her main resistance is that a friend (younger then her, older then me) who is recently separated/divorced will be there and things the friend is inviting me to hit on me even though I am not interested in her like that. Im still taking off 3 days next week before she flies out to do what ever she wants but she doesn't have an answer for that.\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9788e4673e104b92b50381ede4c5ca29",
|
||
"input": "Hello everyone. First post so sry for errors in advance. My now ex-bestfriend and me made a loan a few month ago for about 1500 dollars, we split that 50/50. Now he does no longer want to be my friend and has completly cut me off. im afraid he wont pay the monthly payments to me. So Would i be the asshole if i told his parents about this debt so i can get my money back if he does not met the monthly payments?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a38931573de541cca2a2e8b7465245f9",
|
||
"input": "Two years ago, my boyfriend and I lived separately. At the time, I had my dog, she was 12 years old and my best friend of life. Shortly before we were to move in together, she passed away. It was at this time that my boyfriend adopted a puppy. When his puppy was six months old I told him I wanted a puppy of my own because I’ve been depressed since my dog passed away. He refused. We broke up for a month due to other issues, and while we were apart, I got a puppy. When we got back together, my boyfriend was so upset. He said it’s too hard with two untrained puppies, so he made my give my puppy to my parents for over a year (he said my puppy could move back in when it was older and better behaved). My puppy is a male chihuahua and is pretty territorial and aggressive, so I got him fixed. After a year and a half of my puppy living with my parents, I just got him fixed two days ago and brought him to my house. My boyfriend has no patience and wants me to bring my dog back to my parents for them to keep. My dog did growl pretty badly at his dog yesterday, but has been calm ever since (before he got fixed he would growl and bark constantly so I’d say that this is a major improvement). My boyfriend says I have to give my dog back to my parents. I don’t want to. He says I should give me dog up to the pound if my parents can’t take him. I said this is not fair, he’s going back on his promise of me getting to keep my puppy. What do I do? Am I the asshole for getting the pup while we were broken up? I gave the puppy to my parents for well over a year and held up my side of the bargain. Now that it’s time for my dog to live here, my boyfriend refuses. Please help AITA?\n\n\n\n\n\n**tl;dr** when my dog was 12 years old she sadly passed away, so I got a puppy a few months later to heal my sadness. My boyfriend made me give the puppy to my parents for a year because he says it’s too hard and that we can take him back once he’s older. The time has come, I got him fixed, and besides him being a little growly sometimes, he’s a pretty good dog. My boyfriend has no patience and wants me to give him back to my parents. I don’t want to do that and don’t think it’s fair. How do I convince my boyfriend to let my dog stay? AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9771c36e48d84d389f5f2320819de034",
|
||
"input": "A few months ago a friend and I had a falling out. It's been over 6 months since I've seen them but I still feel bad about what happened. I sent them a text the other day just for some closure and to apologize. They responded a weekish later being incredibly hurtful and accusatory. They didn't accept my apology or apologize themselves at all. On one hand I want to take the high road for myself and also not get more texts belittling and bashing me. But part of wants to text back and defend myself because the things they said weren't true and were just hurtful for the sake of being hurtful. Would I be an asshole if I texted back in my own defense? Or should I let it go?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2626928d14ba49078957ca969c61c96a",
|
||
"input": "My daughter (4) had her school concert this morning. The kids have prepared their play for weeks, 45 minutes of show with more than 100 preschoolers, a “big thing”. There is space for about 200 parents in the sports hall, a flat floor (not a cinema), the kids play elevated on a stage, but naturally the view isn’t that great. The school insists in written that no video recordings from the audience are being made, and they provides a professionally recorded DVD of the whole play at an OK price (10-15$) afterwards.\n\nOf course people still take photos, and I get it: you want to watch (or show it to grandma) before the DVD comes out. Most raise their phones to shoulder height and that only shortly. Fine. It’s a kindergarten...\n\nBut 30 minutes into the play when a new group shows up, about 6 parents raise their bright phones high above their heads and keep filming for 1, 2, 3 minutes and don’t stop. They sit in the middle rows and basically you cannot see anything when you sit behind them. I’m seated quite at the back, my daughter was already on stage, but I watch and clap for each of the kids and I feel they all deserve respect for their play. And the parents in the back deserve a chance to see the 10 seconds fame of their little ones without it being blocked by someone’s smartphone.\n\nWithout thinking I yell a quick and loud “Put your phones down, please!!” into the play. Most phones disappear or move down. (Mind you, this is not a quiet, classical concert, there were babies crying, a few people going in and out, parents talking, even phones ringing.) My wife is furious afterwards and tells me she was sick of embarrassment. I am sorry she feels like this because of me, but I think it’s better than accepting people ruining the rest of the show. I also think not many people realized who actually shouted anyway. \n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d302a901ed3f42a7a438feb0a39db87a",
|
||
"input": "First off my sister is a bit crazy. I think she has some sociopathic tendencies. She one of those people that will do anything to make her self look better then you and she fights with and talks shit about everyone. For example she get arrested for drunk drive and blames the cops for catching her. She drank and smoked during her entire pregnancy and had my mother convinced to the doctor said she special and can do this with not effect on her first baby who is autistic. Anyway. She asked me when she found out she was pregnant. I only said yes so may mother wouldn't get upset. My youngest (3) and her newborn where both born on St Patrick's day, March 17. Things is she called the birth date nine months and actually said \"there are no babies born in March.\" , and continued to act like my boy does not exist. To the point were she'll bump in to him and be like I just didn't him. It sounds crazy but I feel like she made it so she was induced to give birth that day and I just don't want her around me. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cbde7d1a9fd044c5a397d85755de9c59",
|
||
"input": "So I live in an apartment with three other girls. Two of them are graduating this semester, so we need to replace them on the lease. The roommate that’s staying, that I’ll call Emma, and I agreed we’d start searching after the new year.\n\nWell I put up a few Facebook posts, and we’ve gotten around seven responses so far. Some we agreed were bad, some I liked. Emma liked none of them, and she has twice now gone against an applicant just because they were a freshman. This means they would be a sophomore when they move in. She says that you can’t trust freshmen to pay the rent on time, or that they’re crazy and unpredictable. I fee she’s being too judgemental.\n\nOn top of that, Emma is holding out for that “perfect” roommate. She doesn’t want to settle this early, thinking if we wait, we’ll find someone else that didn’t want to settle. What I think will happen is that every good roommate will have found a place to stay, and we’ll be left with a bunch of procrastinators who are an actual risk for not paying rent on time. I don’t think this “perfect” roommate exists, let alone two of them. I want to give the freshmen a chance, but Emma seems adamant. AITA? Are freshmen really that bad? Am I rushing this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a10801c294bf4fbb91a15e86fe8c79f8",
|
||
"input": "I have been in a relationship with someone for just over a year and it's all getting a bit much for me. Half way through I broke up with said person and we had some space apart for a month but eventually sorted it out and got back together.\n\nPart 1: I got with this person a little while after getting out of a manipulative relationship that really hurt me. At first and we started getting closer. Though they kept \"joking\" about how I don't love them, so I reassured. Over time it felt that they were joking less and less and just wanted me to prove my love for them. They had also gotten out of bad relationship. Eventually it lead to an argument where which I cried. after they said they didn't mean it. Over time they kept saying I didn't love them and would leave them. This was my first serious relationship so I kept reassuring them that I did and wanted to prove my affection because I did really love them. Of course it wasn't all bad as they wrote me handmade cards that were really sweet and gave me an old toy of theirs. They also talked about how they wanted to do as much as we could in life and I respected that and how they managed to get out of a horrible relationship before. While I was on holiday with my family they sent a big block of text saying how I really don't care about our relationship + that I never make time for them. After and talking to my parents I broke up with them, they texted me and attempted to call me after saying that I was abandoning them + that I was just proving their point. I wanted them to be happy + I thought it would be best if we had some space.\n\nPart 2: After time apart I saw then again at my college and thought that I was an asshole for what I had done as all my old feelings started to come back but tenfold. So after a lot of time and effort. Many nights of staying up till 3AM to apologise and wanting to treat them right. We got back together and it was better than any moment in part 1. I thought we would be happy together now. Eventually the jokes about how I don't love them came back and now using me breaking up with them in an unintentional or intentional guilt trip for me to do more for them. On valentines day I made them a paper rose, a poem I wrote, a drawing of their favourite animal and a handmade necklace. I have also stayed up countless times to help them with their fears and worries, their mother who is verbally abusive to them. I have learnt to accept myself, I want them to be happy too but I feel that nothing I do means anything after a day. I know that they are hurt and that's likely the reason for it but I don't like being treated like their X and as someone who doesn't care. Especially when they say I only care about myself and don't even try to see things how they do. Though I'm not with them again because I want to prove a point or I pity them.\n\nHowever at this point I'm starting to doubt if they even love me and if my feelings are fading too.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-57fffac071af4d2fb912b130291515a7",
|
||
"input": "There was this house party coming up and my friend wasn't invited to it for very fair reasons but he was still determined to go to the party despite not being wanted there so he arranged to meet up with me before hand. \n\nMe and another friend decided to arrange to meet up before hand and walk there without him because we didn't want to be responsible for him and felt like we were just being used as a key to the house so he could get in to the party. However, we happened across the friend that wasn't invited just before we got to the house and he started trying to walk with us. We initially told him politely we did not wish to walk with him yet he still persisted so we became more stern and basically told him to go away. This is when he started calling us snakes for not sticking by him and went as far as saying he would have done it for us before getting pissed off and leaving. \n\nHe hasn't spoke to me since and it is a few days after the actual party despite the fact he turned up without us later and got into the house anyway. I'm starting to think I should have just gone with him.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-378724e4cd6247c09c6a624eedb3da8d",
|
||
"input": "My best friend of 15 years, and the best man at my wedding, \"Donny\" \\[32m\\] is super fun to hang out with, and is usually up for anything. We've gone on countless adventures together - sailing, backpacking, camping, ATVing, lan parties (showing our age!), motorcycle trips, canoe camping, etc. \n\nThe problem is, he's never really gotten his shit together. He hasn't held a job for longer than a year, and has lived no less than 20 places in his life. After his girlfriend of 9 years cheated on him, got pregnant during the fling, guilted him into being the father while debating an abortion, then had a miscarriage... he decided to finally seek professional help, and end that relationship. He's been diagnosed with depression/ADD/alcoholism/anxiety and is taking prescribed medication to work through those issues.\n\nTo make matters worse, for the past few years he's been living with his narcissistic mom. But it's okay because she's a changed woman, and now dishes out cutting remarks with a smile and a soft voice. Donny thinks she can be annoying, but not \"all that bad.\"\n\nI strongly disagreed, and after working though my own issues with narcissists, I wanted to help him get out of that environment and start a life of his own. He had been making such good progress seeking help and going on medication I thought she was the last thing holding him back. \n\nHe's never actually lived on his own. He's always lived/been supported by other people, including his mom and me in the past. After I lived alone in a private seasonal campground for a month to get my own head on straight about some issues I was dealing with, I thought how great of an opportunity it would be for him to live there full time. He could buy a camper for 5-7k, and pay $1500 in rent each year for the plot. Cost of living would be extremely low ($125 rent/month - plus food, electricity and propane). It's filled with friendly blue-collar workers who leave their campers there year round and treat it like a vacation cabin. They are all having a blast, drinking, socializing, telling tall tails, driving around in golf carts, etc. It's just a fun place to be, and an upgrade from his only other realistic option - a trailer park. The mood at a trailer park is different I'd think... most people live there out of necessity not desire, and that probably wouldn't help him with his mental health.\n\nHe thought the camper/campground was a great idea so I helped him pick out an old 26 foot camper, inspect it (surprisingly good shape), talk the seller down ($1200 to $800) and borrow a friends truck to tow it home. He paid for it of course. I told him he could live in it at my house as long as he paid his own electricity and didn't barge in to our house without first calling/texting. The plan was for him to live in it, fix it up, then sell it and upgrade to a better 5-7k camper and ultimately move into a seasonal campground. (They have restrictions on age/condition of the campers they let in.) We set an August 1st 2019 move out deadline (about a year).\n\nDuring this time my wife and I were planning our honeymoon - sailing around the Virgin Islands. Then Hurricane Irma hit, destroying everything on the islands. We decided on Costa Rica for our honeymoon instead. The charter company in the Virgin Islands could only give credit rather than a refund, so we planned to go the following year. (Quick note, we are not rich and these two trips were very expensive for us. We had only budgeted for one.) I suggested that we turn it into a trip with friends since plane tickets were only $400 round trip. Since we had already paid for the boat, it wouldn't cost any more to bring a few people along. So we invited Donny and my wife's friend \"Sarah\". Both single, but they didn't hit it off. They only had to buy plane tickets, and pay their own expenses like food, taxis and souvenirs - we would cover the \\~4k boat rental.\n\nThey were invited in April, and we planned to fly there in December - 8 months later. I kept everyone updated by email with itineraries and estimated personal costs as I planned out the trip.\n\nAt some point during all of this, Donny has moved into his camper at my house, begins reverting to old ways, stops showing up for his full time job, and gets fired. He picks up a part time job where he has the option to work 40 hours a week, but can work as much or as little as he wants. He of course picks the latter. I'm beginning to suspect that he won't have enough money for the trip so I ask him about it. He assures me he will have enough and all is good. He already bought the plane tickets.\n\nSo we fly out of cold ass Wisconsin and into the tropics. Everyone is in high spirits, I mean, how can you not be? We get to our rental sailboat, a 2017 Jeanneau 349, and it's a fucking dream boat. We set sail and go from island to island, sleeping in the boat. It's amazing. Dolphins, white sandy beaches, perfect weather, beach-side restaurants, 85 degree water, snorkeling, you name it. Then it happens. **The ambush.**\n\n​\n\nDonny - waiting until my wife and Sarah are off the boat - \"I'm out of money, I didn't realize how expensive everything was going to be... is there any chance you can spot me until we get back? I'll pay you back, I promise\".\n\nNow I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I say no, he can't get home. If I say yes, I may not be able to pay my own bills when we return, and might never get paid back. Nothing good can come from this conversation. \n\nI gave in however, and asked him how much he needed. After some hemming and hawing, he said $100 should cover everything. Ok. Borrowed him $100 - in cash.\n\nNot two days later he's out of money again. I'm pissed. I tell him tough luck and the three of us go enjoy the day while he sleeps on the boat. Paradise gets me back into a good mood though, and I start to feel bad. *Yeah... I know.* If he can't pay the ferry ride back, or the taxis, he's stranded in the Virgin Islands. *This alone would make for a good AITA post if I just left him there*... but I begrudgingly decide borrow him money for the rest of the trip. On the bright side, Sarah is having no problem paying her own way throughout the trip.\n\n​\n\nAfter we get back home I don't really talk to him much. The trip, amazing as it was, has an underlying shitty feel to it all. I feel taken advantage of and it bothers me that he, my best friend of so many years, was so selfish and entitled during the trip of a lifetime. Captain obvious senses something is wrong and texts me that he will pay me back this weekend. Weeks go by and nothing. I confront him. Turns out, he wasn't even keeping track of what he owed me! Thank fuck I was - $373 just for the trip!!\n\nI pull up his electric bills for the camper. I charge him $0.13/kWh, send him monthly emails \"bills\" with pictures of the Kill-A-Watt meter, and allow 30 days to pay. He's 90+ days late and hasn't paid anything. $115 behind. Reminders answered with silence. **It's the final straw, I'm fed up and go into asshole mode.**\n\n​\n\nI forward the electric bill emails, and tell him he has 5 business days (Tuesday) to pay all late bills in full, or I'll disconnect his electric service. I also add a $20 late fee to all future bills that become late. Weather forecast is for 20F at night. No electricity = no heat and frozen/broken water lines. I hear nothing back.\n\nI have a face to face with him and express my general frustration about the trip, owed money and overdue electric bills. He does his best to act sorry and promises to make things right. I don't mention that I'm going to disconnect the power, but it was in the emails sent days earlier.\n\nA few days later I invite him over for dinner, mostly to get the pictures he took on his phone during the trip. He said he'd upload them, but was clearly dragging his feet with misc half-truths. I **never** bring up that I'm killing the electric on Tuesday unless he pays just the late electric bills. Unprompted, he says something like \"I'll pay you for the electric bills on Tuesday or Wednesday.\" \n\nHe knows he won't get paid until Wednesday. I know he won't get paid until Wednesday, but he doesn't know that. I still plan to pull the power Tuesday if he hasn't paid, but instead of saying that, I just say \"Ok.\"\n\nIronically, the Kill-A-Watt meter fails a few hours later, killing his power. 15A heater + fridge + computer overloaded it. He offers to pay for a new one (about $15) and I plug him back in unmetered.\n\nTuesday rolls along, and at 5pm I text him telling him I'm disconnecting the power in an hour unless all overdue electric bills are paid in full. The following conversation ensues over text:\n\n​\n\n**Donny:** \"You couldn't have told me this yesterday? I told you I'm gonna pay it tomorrow\" \\[Wednesday\\].\n\n**Me:** \"It was in both emails.\"\n\n**Donny:** \"That's great. Yesterday I told you I'm paying them all off, you didn't say anything\"\n\n**Me:** \"You say a lot of things.\"\n\n**Donny:** \"What's that supposed to mean exactly?\"\n\n *- 10 minute pass -* \n\n**Donny:** \"Fine, I'll say it, my word means nothing to you. I understand, rocky history, what do you want from me then? An email?\"\n\n *- 5 minutes pass -* \n\n**Donny:** \"I don't think I've made an email since high school lol\"\n\n *- 30 minutes pass -* \n\n​\n\nI disconnect his power at the breaker. He drove off 5 minutes after that without saying a word, probably to go back to his mom's house for the night, or cry to our mutual friend about how he's been wronged.\n\n24 hours later he said he'd be over at 7:30pm to pay his bill. He showed up at 9:30pm acting like everything was all good and paid $200 - stating the extra money can go towards what he owes on the trip. I tell him since the Kill-A-Watt meter failed, in a few days I'",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-54b77b9fa29943828b0b3b21130a88e1",
|
||
"input": " This is only going to be short and nothing serious. I was working NYE, half 12 to 9pm, I normally get a bus home after work and would arrive home around 10 or so depending on the traffic.\n\n​\n\nGiven that it was NYE I knew that the bus would be less frequent, but after 9 that night the buses just seemed to have stopped altogether, leaving me no way home basically. I start walking along the bus route hoping one would appear, it didn't. After about an hour walking, i cave and order a taxi to the bus stop i decided to rest at.\n\n​\n\nTaxi arrives after about 15 minute wait. it pulls up a little down the road so i have to walk to it, another person appears out of no and is about to jump in, i stop then and let them know i ordered this, they then want to split it with myself, but after the long day i had and knowing i wasn't going through town to get home and would have extended the journey and the price of the taxi.\n\n​\n\nOnce I've told them this, I get into the taxi and he starts shouting outside as we drive off.\n\n​\n\nAITA for leaving this guy NYE with little to no buses around.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b52fed59ec1d477a90e2d7347c7db212",
|
||
"input": "So I have a \"friend\" that I have been friends with for 10 years now. I'm 18 as is he and we met in 2nd grade. We both graduated in June and he went to college a little over and hour away from where we're from. \n\nMe and my others friends started boxing a couple of months ago and we've been sparring on the weekends. So I texted this particular friend and asked him if he would like to spar on the weekend. He said yes and I told him that he would have to buy handwraps and a mouthguard and he said that he could do that. We texted a little more about when we would pick him up from college and we decided that my brother and I would drive to his college which is an hour away on Friday, then when we got back to the town we're all from we would go to the store and buy all the stuff he needed and then spar at my house. \n\nSo come friday we drive up to his school, pick him up, and on the way back to where we're from he tells us he forgot his wallet. At this point we're like 10 minutes away from home so we decide we could do it the next day. Then later I'm on snapchat and see his story. He's at a party getting drunk and high with his other friends. I don't think much of because he's been my friend for 10 years why would he lie about something so insignificant. \n\nThe next day comes around and I text him and ask him if he was ready to be picked up and go to Dick's (sports store). He texts me back and says he's at a funeral and probably wouldn't be able to make it. \n\nAt this point I start thinking. So I check snapchat again and look at the snap map which is basically a gps tracker that tells you where your friends are. I look at it and it says he's in his way back to where he goes to school. So I text him and ask him if he's at the funeral right now. He texts me back and says yes. Then I ask him where the funeral is. He says it's in a town 40 minutes south of where we are from. Where he goes to school is an hour north of where we are from. So I begin to connect the dots and come to the conclusion that he is lying. I double check the snap map an hour or so later, he's at his school. So he 100% lied to me about having a dead relative so he could get out of boxing me and use my brother and I as a free ride.\n\nThere are two things I don't tolerate whatsoever no matter how small the infraction is. Fucking with my money, and disloyalty to me, or any of my friends. (Some people think I'm an asshole for this but for me it's based solely on principle).\n\nThis \"friend\" of mine, cost me money (two hours worth of gas), and completely lied to me about his aunt dying. \n\nFor those who don't know sparring is usually relatively light and you're not trying to injure your sparring partner. However my plan is to pretend to be his friend until we step into the ring and completely beat the shit out of him for 12 rounds while he's expecting light sparring. \n\nFor reference we're both 6'2, he's 150 pounds and his only for of exercise is smoking weed, I'm 165 pounds and workout 2-3 times per week and work a very physical job. So he doesn't really stand a chance.\n\nTLDR: A long term friend of mine lied to me about having a funeral so he could use my brother and I as a free ride home from where he goes to college and now I plan on beating the shit out of him.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-34e9ac56876f45e1ac015b6e6a0638af",
|
||
"input": "This friend, we’ll call Alex, and I have always playfully made fun of each other. I’d call her ugly, she’d call me an idiot. We never did anything that would offend the other.\nLater, we start debating about the technical definition of a stereotype. Our debates have never had a conclusive ending to them before, but for once, we finished. I won the argument, and she was speechless. I laughed it off and thought it was the end of it.\nA little while later, I’m on my way to the trash can to finish up my water bottle and to throw it away. As I’m drinking it, she lifts the bottle so that it spills on me. I turn around, and try to spill the water on her. I completely miss. She laughs at me for missing. I wait until she’s behind me to do it again, and the bottle hits her in the face.\nThis infuriates Alex. She grabs me and doesn’t let go. She says she’s going to give me a swirly repeatedly. I try to push her off me and I keep trying to run away, but she drags me out of the cafeteria into the bathroom. I keep pushing away and trying to run, and she keeps pulling me against my will.\nAt this point, I have gotten out of her grip enough to where she is only holding onto my sweater. I rip the sweater off of me and sprint away while she tries to get the stall open. I left the sweater in her hand. When I get to my locker later in the day, my sweater is in there, soaking wet. She had soaked it in the bathroom.\nShe sarcastically apologized, and I unexpectedly started crying. I reported it to administration, and she screamed in face about being overdramatic. I personally believe that what I did was perfectly acceptable for the situation. I’m still shaken up from what happened, but I need an objective perspective.\n\nAITA for reporting her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8ea51dfda4c94d34b669cc20ac28d310",
|
||
"input": "So the story is i had a gf, the thing is she was someone i met on the internet a state over. Things were good for 5 and a half months, we \"loved\" each other all the mushy gushy stuff. We broke up, yatta yatta, and i didnt get any support from my family, I got a \"I'm sorry\" from my mom, and that was it. Recently my brother broke up with his girlfriend and was torn up about it, he had all the support in the world from everybody in my town. I guess since it was somone i met online then \"it wasnt a real gf then\" is what some people said, then that means i shouldnt be sad or upset. I'm over the relationship but just feel like my brother got all the support and im over here just dealing with it myself. I feel like im an asshole for thinking this, am I one?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3514b50bbe6d46ca8d75b13269ee3c1b",
|
||
"input": "Merry Christmas Everyone!\n\n​\n\nI guess I am writing this to validate my predicument for calling, and continuing to call, the police on my noisy neighbors. A little background, we both live in homes separated by a street, so there is roughly 50-70 feet between our homes. The neighbor in question has a really good base system in their home, which is the problem. When they crank their music up, I can hear it very clearly. So clearly that it is louder than my TV, My Dishwasher, and washing machine; the majority of the time, it can be heard over all three combined. They play this music randomly all throughout the day, sometimes in the morning(7am+), the afternoon, the evening (5-8PM), and late at night (11PM+). I've tried noise cancelling headphones, ear buds (32db noise reduction), and even my gun range headphones, but nothing drownes the noise out. \n\n​\n\nI finally got fed up with listening to their music in October 2018, so I walked over to tell them to turn it down. The nighbor answred the door and told me to get bent. Frustrated, I walked back to the house and let it slide. It happened again twice more, where the music was too loud and I walked over to tell them to turn it down, only the second and third time, I was greated by a different person who seemed nicer and was willing to comply. \n\n​\n\nThe problem is, I am not willign to walk over there everyday to tell them to keep the noise down, so I finally got the police involved when the incident happened on the 4th time. I ended up having to call the police 3 more times for them to have a car in the area while the music was playing. the music then stopped for 2 weeks, but it has returned yet again (surprise).\n\n​\n\nSince there are no \"pieceful times\" in my county, I can technically call the police and submit a noise complaint at any time, which I plan to do (when it is too loud). Am I being a dick for resorting to this extreme measure to have piece and quiet, given the volume of the music and the space that separates our homes? Also, after so many complaints, the police will start issuing $1,000.00 fines. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-68f6a7e16ffd4881b0597ae6950990dc",
|
||
"input": "Usual disclaimers, really long, mobile formatting yadda yadda.\n\nSorry, there's more backstory to this than the title would suggest. \n\nMy wife and I have been married for 3+ years, together for 9.5. We 'officially' cohabitated about 6mo into our relationship when her lease came up. At that time, we made the choice to buy a new queen bed since my full size was too small and her bed was 15 years old and had some extra lumps. Fast forward 8 years, and we bought our first house... and immediately splurged for a nice king size bed which we have greatly enjoyed this last year. \n\nIn those intervening 8 years, we lived with my parents in an attached apartment to their farmhouse. It had a separate entrance, 4 rooms, and the only shared space was the kitchen (though we even had our own fridge). I'm an only child, and my family had some serious events go on when I was in my teens / early 20s before i met my now wife. The apartment space was something my dad and i had renovated together (and by renovated i mean ripped down to bare studs and completely rebuilt) but it was still at my parents and that was a point of contention with my now in-laws.\n\nOne of the reasons we had chosen to move in together back into this space involved then girlfriend deciding to go to grad school. While I have a decent paying job, it wasn't, and isn't, enough to support 2 adults and meet all the financial needs of student loan payments, cars, etc on top of rent. My parents let us stay rent free, just happy to have us close by and helping out in other ways. \n\nFast forward, and my wife is out of school, we've saved up and paid for our own wedding, then save up to buy a house. My parents are super supportive of the house buying, but sad to see us go. Dad helps renovate the new house, refinishing floors, painting, doing custom woodwork etc. We move in a bit peicemeal over a few months, but are close enough (20min) that ee don't have to rent a moving truck etc.\n\nNow, I'm not debating that I'm an asshole for this next part... I totally own that i fucked up here. Due to work and some personal commitments, i drop the ball after we've gotten about half of our stuff out of the old apartment. My parents make comments once and a while, but NBD. Then time goes on and it's suddenly been a year since we lived there and our shit still sits in that space. For some reason, getting my wife to go help pack the rest up is impossible. I've been chipping away at the small stuff, but the bed is still there. One of the major reasons is that whilenour new master bedroom is huge, it stole that space from the second (guest) bedroom. We've measured, and while technically the queen bed would fit, it would touch 3 walls and be a bitch to put sheets on.\n\nNow we get to the meat of it. About a month ago my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. He's started chemo and will likely be looking at a pretty significant surgery down the line if the chemo/radiation goes well. My parents approached me about the apartment and specifically bed, as the space is better insulated (remember, major renovation) and had first floor connection to their kitchen. They ask if we would be willing to move the queen bed downstairs into the old living room so that dad isn't doing stairs etc. I say I have to talk to my wife, but don't expect it to be an issue because it doesnt fit the space and we havent gotten it in the last year.\n\nNope. Big deal. Wife says have to have it as a guest bed. I've tried to get her to go with me to get it out the last two weekends, she has cone up with excuses not to. My parents want an answer.\n\nAs a point, as far as i know there are no weord feelings between my parents and wife. They've always been very supportive of her, and she has no issue when they come visit us.\n\nAITA for just wanting to give it to them since we lived there rent free for so long and Dad has done so much for us in the new house?\n\nWIBTA if i just do it since she won't help get it out even though I could get a friend to go with me to help?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cba84a494440461f9e43bbe379df24d7",
|
||
"input": "For starts I don’t want this person to be dead and I am sad this person (x) is dead at a young age. \nX and I had a bad relationship. I trained x in work and x was lazy and at times abuisve about being lazy. X wasn’t from here and used that to their advantage plenty of times. I say that because x put down their abusive behaviour as being a hot type personality that only Xs people are. X also disappeared over certain holiday periods for weeks at a time to be home with their family but always have some excuse. Other people (me) had to cover their shifts. X got a warning and that was all. \nX was very very good at cosying up to higher ups in work and anyone who didn’t get along with them x claimed were racists. \nThe sad part. X died of a brain tumour last week. My social media has been inundated with comments what an amazing person they were even from folk who frequently bitched about them. \nI am hearing loads about it at work and I can’t help but in a complete rage about it. \nThey died young it was sad I would never want that for anyone but they were still to me a complete asshole. And yet I can’t help but hate myself for being angry at someone who had the utter misfortune of dying so young. \nAm I the asshole here? \nP.s I have said nothing to anyone about how I feel I just act sad ( I am just not to their degree) and then let them talk about it till eventually conversations change. \nAlso x only found out about the tumour 2 months ago and died due to a haemorrhage caused by it. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-738cdb89b9ff41f8b372151830f51133",
|
||
"input": "TLDR at the bottom\n\nSo on the spring of 2016 I found out that my college girlfriend got pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion but as a christian I felt that this was against my beliefs (btw I’m not pro-life, I feel like the option to abort should be there for people that don’t believe what I do but this is what I thought was right for my child). I was graduating that year and already had a pretty well-paying job lined up so I felt that I could provide for my kid. In the end me and my girlfriend came to the agreement that the baby be born but that I would be a single parent since she did not want to have a baby this young. That fall the baby was born and after that she moved back to her home state (she went out of state for college) and I got my son. At the time me and my girlfriend were 21.\n\nFast forward two years and I just feel so tired and secluded from the world. My only friend is my son, between work and him I have no free time. All I do on my free time is go to the park with him, watch kids shows etc. My mom live kinda far away but she visits every few months and lets me have some alone time but it’s not enough. Also I basically have the same job I had when I graduated college with a slight salary increase, I have not been able to take any initiatives at work to qualify me for a promotion due to my parent responsibilities and a lot of people that started after me outrank me now. And I can’t date, like who wants a 23 year old guy with a kid.\n\nI just feel unfulfilled and alone and it has started to take it’s form in a little bit of animosity against my son and I never want that to happen. I want to be a great dad that loves his kid but I don’t think I can be that, I’ve tried for two years. You always hear about this undying love you’ll have for your kid but I just never had that.\n\nSo WIBTA for putting my son up for adoption? I would have to make sure he actually get’s adopted into a stable family like I grew up in and not into a foster home (don’t know how I would go about that though). The thing that makes me think that I am an asshole is that he has started to form an attachment to me and that it would be unfair on him to leave him and unfair on his grandmother that also has a good connection with him. But what makes me think I’m not an asshole is that I think that his childhood would just get worse the more lonely and unfulfilled I feel and that he’s better off with a more stable family. Please give me your perspective.\n\nTLDR: I am a single dad that feels like he’s personal life is interfering with his ability to be a father, WIBTA to put up my two year old for adoption?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5349cc1374864efd9feb448a5ac13148",
|
||
"input": "Here's some context. . . My mom(53) has worked for the last 10yr+ as a school bus driver. She gets weekends off and has early days as well as major holiday vacations. She makes less than $35,000 annually, but hasn't made efforts to find something to help her sustain her residency in LA County. She lives with my aunt atm and pays $600 for a 1br, parking, utilities, internet, and laundry included. Last week my sister and her bf, who have a toddler together, got into it. Their relationship was already hanging on a thread because they just couldn't make things work. Her bf is very irrational and vindictive and my sister is very stubborn and proud. Well, he ended up kicking both her and their son out of their apt.\n\nMy mother invited my sister to stay at my aunts house given the situation and because all happened so fast neither of them reached out to my aunt to ask if it were alright. When my aunt found out she exploded. Gave my sister a month, max. She then blatantly told my mother that she needed to find a new place. My mother constantly had issues with my grandmother, who is also living in my aunts house and being supported by her as well. This always put my aunt in a stressful position as mediator. \n\nWhen I heard the news I was devastated. My husband and I offered to help my family as much as we could. My sister was lucky enough to find a room for rent with a family friend for $500, but my mother has little to no option and is even considering sleeping in her car. My husband and I both asked her to consider moving into a 2br and that she would have to pay $800 and watch our 10 month old when necessary so I could possibly work or go back to school, but she said she couldn't afford it. She then exclaimed that we should give her a discount for watching the baby. \nWhen we couldn't come to an agreement she asked us to compromise and get a 1br so she could sleep in the living room at less than what shes paying at my aunts. Neither of us wants to give up our privacy. \n\nMy husband and I are both in the culinary industry, so living in the city is necessary for us. We make just enough to get by here and in the future if the opportunity presents it self we will relocate to somewhere more inexpensive, but this is our life at the moment and we arent being pushovers. \n\nAITA? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bba8d82980ec4bbcb40b645e6395b9ad",
|
||
"input": "So my gf lives in a small studio and is moving a great distance.. across the hall! \n\nIn her previous relationship, her ex sometimes got a little.. angry. But that’s a story for another time. The point here is, he punched a hole/dent into a door, and since she’s moving out she will at least lose her deposit and probably more due to the housing company being absolute donkeys. \n\nHe’s refusing to pay for it. Not even the deposit, even when she paid loads for him when they were together (he was a student and she had a job). \n\nSo yesterday, we were chilling with her neighbour, and me and him had a couple beers. He knows about the situation, and being a little tipsy we of course had the single best idea ever: we’re just fixing the door. We took off some chips to match the colour, we’re buying some wood filler, the whole shabang. It’s gonna be great. \n\nThen, I had the (in my opinion) GREAT idea, to tell the ex-bf that the housing company had swung by after the new tenant saw the door, and told my gf the door had to be replaced and she’d have to pay for it. Understandable, there is a hole in the door. So, being a little more drunk now, we just took out the entire door and put it in her new appartment. She now has no bathroom door, and a convincing story. We even considered lending another door from another friend across the hall and putting it in for a picture. A lie has gotta be convincing, right? As an added advantage, the extra money can be used to paint her new appartment, buying groceries etc, which I think is fair, since he leeched off her for some years.\n\nAITA for kind of using him and lying about the door being replaced (even though it really would be since there is a hole in it) and having him pay for it?\n\nTL;DR: gf’s ex-bf broke her door, she’s moving and the door is still wrecked. Neighbour and I took out the door and want to lie to make him pay for it. \n\nNote: there are no pictures of the door included since it’s currently in her neighbours appartment, sorry!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0dc33d7162e1442aacf01d10b75ee6ce",
|
||
"input": "I’m not very good at knowing which relatives’ deaths to announce in an office setting. I remember I kept it to myself when my grandfather passed, but a couple of months later I signed a card when my coworker lost his own grandfather. Still, this one seems like a stretch to me. Or I’m just an asshole. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b10cfd319eed4a7b9d841d6f8b7826af",
|
||
"input": "Occasionally, Home office (different state) will reward certain locations with miscellaneous gifts for good performance. Recently, my office was eligible for such a reward. \n\n​\n\nYesterday I received $30.00 in gift cards for a specific movie theater branch. Excited, I went to see what's playing. Turns out there is not an AMC movie theater branch within 150 miles of my location. I feel like we were \"rewarded\" for our hard work over the past few months with a gift card that we can't redeem, making it essentially worthless, and all because the higher ups did not even bother to check if it was possible to use these rewards. \n\n​\n\nAITA for complaining to local management? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-95ac04f8c2cd4eeab614b8c5da2599d2",
|
||
"input": "I can’t help but think this would be petty, but I’m curious about others’ opinions. \n\nThere’s this girl in my friends’ Discord chat (around 20 people) who will not shut the fuck up about being a “mathematician” (she’s still in the process of completing her degree, by the way). She constantly posts unfunny math memes that no one except her understands and it’s annoying and awkward. One of my previous posts is her if you’re wondering what I mean: [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverysmart/comments/au2av9/and_her_profile_photo_has_to_be_pi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app)\n\nWould I be an asshole to call her out on it? A lot of the folks in the chat haven’t even attended post secondary, and I can’t help but feel like she’s bragging about how smart she is. I don’t want others in the chat to be alienated. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-457cbf92f01540859c2d1e4609994ff2",
|
||
"input": "I used to fancy this girl a year below me, and at one point I decided to step up my game a bit and tried to flirt and hang out with her. Later on, as it was around time for my exams, I decided to like and comment on her *recent* posts, such as any pictures that she uploaded and all. Not all of them are pictures of her, but sometimes its animals and just photography, you get the point. Anyways, so I decided to like her pictures and leave witty comments to show off and all. She didn't respond, but her friends did and they were shipping us together, all's good right?\n\nThen shit hits the fan when a few days later, the chemistry teacher who I'm close with (I don't do chemistry myself) approached me and told me to stop pursuing my then crush because she and her two best friends told the chemistry teacher about my actions and dubbed it \"stalking\" and \"creepy\".\n\nI don't know about you all, but me almost getting in trouble during a critical time of my life, which is exams, could be devastating to my future, since I don't want to be expelled from school for having an attraction to someone else and showing it. \n\nAfterwards, I just stopped talking to her and to this day I still feel resentful towards what happened, I don't interact with her but I do tell people who ask \"why don't I hang out or talk to her\" this story.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-93aba328304f407cb8083496416c5a2c",
|
||
"input": "Throw away account, mobile, I'm exhausted excuse the mess. On with the issue...\n\nSo mid December my boyfriend and I got a puppy, it was his friends, so there's no papers on who's pet, but I paid for her. $200 to be exact. \n\nWe've been fighting alot, and talking about breaking up, he say's he'll take her. Cause his son loves her. \n\nWell so do I! I feed her, take her outside, buy her toys, clean up her accidents.. he helps occasionally but it's mostly me. And I snuggle her, she loves sleeping with me. She loves them but I feel like she's mine.\n\n\nSOOO, WIBTA if I chipped my pup without telling my boyfriend claiming rights? (I plan on taking her to the vet next month.) or does that not even how it works. \n\nThanks for reading! ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-76a582fb89624798ba2fd9241870eb77",
|
||
"input": "Met someone who I gelled with the other week. It was all going fine until she told me she wasn’t mentally ready for a relationship yet, and asked me if I was fine with being friends. I was fine with this as she was good company and we clicked. This was fine and we met up on Tuesday. We kept speaking throughout the week until tonight. She then went on too say in her ending message before she blocked me that I was being, ‘too clingy’, despite her giving the same behaviour back to me, that I ‘demanded attention from her’, (if I was, why didn’t she tell me this?) and that she couldn’t trust me to keep it platonic, despite the fact that she was doing and giving exactly the same behaviour back to me. \n\nI don’t know whether she was burned from a previous relationship that ended badly which she told me about, or whether it’s me at fault here. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e10e7640f861413cbdd3aae81acf17cb",
|
||
"input": "So I went to my ex boyfriends college for an event and my friend and I stayed over at his place that was on campus.\n\nThis ex was my first love from high school. Lost my virginity to him and vice versa, and he was a big part of my life. It took me a long time to get over him and I still have a lot of different feelings towards him.\n\nHe doesn’t talk to me much and we do talk every once in a while but rarely. \n\nA couple days after the trip to his school, he texts me asking if my friend has a boyfriend. I freak out (I have sever anxiety) and start to have a panic attack. I tell him no and that I’m super uncomfortable by it and it makes me upset. \n\nHe kept taking about it, asking questions about her even though I asked him to stop. He didn’t understand why I was freaking out or why it mattered. \n\nMy anxiety doesn’t always make sense but is this not a valid reason to get upset? Or am I overreacting and should just let him talk to her?\n\nAITA for not letting my ex boyfriend talk to my friend? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-77dc9d846f2a4cdfbad78bc6abe5dd89",
|
||
"input": "Hey team. This just happened and I am not entirely sure what to think.\n\nWith the recent NZ shooting still running strong through the heads of my country everyone is talking of it.\n\nI was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing the comments made my Australian senator Fraser Anning. \nSee: https://i.stuff.co.nz/world/australia/111327946/australian-pm-labels-senator-disgusting-over-christchurch-terror-attack-comments\n\nNow, there was an online petition that the premise of was to get Anning to go to vote to keep his job. Anning, being a Australian senator of course, and my friend and my self being Kiwi’s.\n\nMy argument was that I would not sign the online petition as the senator was not a political representative of my country and therefore I should not get a say on wether or not he is fired.\nJust for the record, I think he should but I don’t think I should get an official vote in it.\n\nMy friend thinks people from my country should. She thinks that, despite the fact I openly disagree with Annings’ comments and told her my position on wether Anning is a fitting representative for Australia’s government, I am a racist and I am enabling racism by saying that I don’t agree with her and that I don’t think it’s my place to sign the petition. \n\nI then used the example of: “I don’t deserve a say in Australian politics. I don’t get a vote because the implications of his actions don’t effect me. I don’t want Australians voting to raise my tax rate same as I don’t deserve to vote to remove an Australian senator.“\nShe is saying that I am a racist because I care more about my tax rate than the tragedy when I only used that as an example of the reasons I shouldn’t get a say on Australian politics.\n\nReddit, Am I The Asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a00dd262cb2e4593a57d56e47d88e8c1",
|
||
"input": " \n\n**i know that is their realtionship and her decision and its not easy to get divorced**\n\n**disclaimer:** english is not my native language\n\nmy mom diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago as soon it was found out, my dad decided he's \"tired\" from her and start to cheat on her and being asshole(its even nice to say this to him) by ignoring her and her condition . he didn't even flinch to help her with the all process of her diagnosing and treatment (even didn't take her to the doctors/treatments).in that time i caught him few times on tinder and other dating apps , i didn't knew what to do back then and went my older sister and tolled her about it and she talk to him which helped and he started to change (at time she was after the operation to remove the tumor) BUT after she backed to work he started to behave again and it was seems to me specious so i told my sister again and she said no chance i swore him\n\nfast forward to the last month: my mom find out when she going through his phone that he kept cheating when they been \"ok\"(after the surgery) and she lost it on him and he even told her he is \"tired\" from her.\n\nshe already filed divorce request\n\nit seems she's lingering on that thought\n\nthe reason i say it it becuse she said this is her chance out of this unwanted marriage (long story) and i will be pissed if she will staying with him after that and have to live with the guilt and the untrusful piece of shit\n\nregardles to that i going to cut any communication with him ASAP",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f2979c3ae3ae4d10b9598c3ce3f57501",
|
||
"input": "In my AP Government class, we have s test scheduled for Thursday. The tests are based off the AP tests, which are carefully timed. Our class period on thursday is a little different than normal, it is only 50 minutes compared to the normal 1 and 1/2 hours. The test he assigned is going to take an hour of actual test taking time, and my teacher says that you will just have to stay in at lunch. AITA for arguing that he shouldn’t make us stay in at lunch just to finish a test we haven’t been given enough class time for?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c037765a1db443b6ac0c71775ddaef4d",
|
||
"input": "So we went on a group trip, but one of my friends rented a car. \n\n\nNow the friend is asking for everybody to split the cost of the rental despite some people taking their own cars. \n\n\nAITA for not wanting to pay because I took my own car?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3c04f2453c0842d9a0753726fb71a76a",
|
||
"input": "So this all started for me at the beginning of the current school semester. I'm in a kinesiology course that requires knowledge of high school physics and calculus, and being that I did well in those two subjects in high school, I'm cruising through the course. Meanwhile, there's a classmate of mine who is struggling a lot in the course (lets call this person anon). anon is also a co-worker at my workplace, so there's somewhat of a connection. Seeing that I was doing really well, anon asked me to help him out with some problems at the beginning of the course. I didn't really find any problems with that, so I helped anon out with some homework for the course. \n\n​\n\nFast forward to present day, and anon has asked me EVERY WEEK since the beginning of the course for help on homework and labs for this course. I've been helping anon quite a bit at this point, but at this point I feel pissed off that anon repeatedly asks me. Anon has told me that anon forgot everything from high school so that's why anon struggles, and I felt compassionate towards that. However, anon never stops asking. Recently when anon asked again for help, I wasn't feeling well physically, so I message him that I had a doctor's appointment and that I probably needed to rest for that day. Anon sees the message and proceeds to ask me when my doctor's appointment is over and whether we can message each other instead to help anon with homework.\n\n​\n\nI feel bad for anon because anon is struggling in this course that is mandatory for kinesiology. Also, I feel like I should help anon because anon is kinda friendly at work. Yet, I just really want to go up to anon and tell anon to fucking stop asking me and go to the prof for office hours instead. Should I though? And AITA?\n\n​\n\ntl;dr classmate / co-worker repeatedly asks me for help on homework for a course, even when I'm not feeling well and I tell him no basically. And at this point im pissed off at this person.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-12cdad9452d84e1e8f6e4f833c24860c",
|
||
"input": "Me (21f) and my boyfriend (21) of 3 years have a relatively active sex life. So when I found out he was watching porn and jerking it to other girls, my heart broke. It makes me feel so inadequate that he looks at other (skinnier) women the way he’s supposed to look at me. I asked him to stop yesterday and he got angry and told me that it doesn’t mean anything, but it means something to me and i told him that. He basically said “whatever” and that was that. This morning i caught him watching it again and when i confronted him about it, he said i was being bitchy. I need to know, AITA for getting upset?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9004b8e631724bd39fadb51aac3afb4a",
|
||
"input": "December 8th Girlfriend told me it wasn’t working in the morning. I feel like hmmm maybe she’s just upset, then later calls me telling me she can’t be with me while I’m out with my mates.\n\nWith a belly full of beer I think, “fuck it I’m sick of this.” I meet an okay looking hood rat at the bar. I go back to hers and sleep with her. Immediately after starting I think “oh fuck what have I done”... I don’t finish and I leave hers crying like a woman.\n\nWash body with my eyes closed.\n\n The next day the girlfriend asks me to talk to her. We sort stuff out, she try’s to have “make up sex” (her words not mine) but I decline because I want to wash my body 1000 times before engaging in anything with her. \n\nI told her and she called me a cheat... I though cheating was something that happened during a relationship not during a break up. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-98823d3981994f2aafbc1209b82957ea",
|
||
"input": "I was in a relationship with my ex for 8 months when I met “Kyle”. Kyle was a mutual friend of my ex and we quickly became friends. I realized that Kyle and I shared a lot of interests and humor when we would hangout in group settings (my ex included). The more time I spent with him the more I realized I wasn’t a match with my ex. I changed myself for my ex and I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t just for the sake of being compatible. I felt way more comfortable with Kyle in the few weeks I knew him than I did with my (ex) BF of 8 months. I ended up breaking things off with my ex because I knew things wouldn’t be going anywhere especially after developing feelings so easily for someone else. I am now in an amazing relationship with Kyle and my friends and and family all adore him. \n\nThe breakup has caused a rift in our friend group and all my ex’s friends have branded me an emotional cheater and assume that I left my ex just to be with Kyle. The more I got to know Kyle, the more I realize how unhappy I was with my ex, does that make me the asshole and the emotional cheater everyone assumes I am? Was this an emotional affair? Am I just trying to rationalize my wrongdoing? Any feedback would help!\n\n\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bc19e972dcbb4eee97d06c0e9ec46b15",
|
||
"input": "With my bf.\n\nDisclosure, we haven't been together all that long in the grand scheme, but if soulmates existed he'd be mine. We both have our issues of course, and he's juggling things I can't ever fully appreciate.\n\nHe's an amazing guy, but I can't help wanting him to get on with his hang-ups. They're mostly financial and I've offered to help, but he's an honorable, strong- willed man and refuses to accept.\n\nTo be clear, even though his hang-ups are financial, they only affect me emotionally. He pulls his weight in every regard. I just can't get passed the way it ties him to parts of his life I wish were more in the background. \n\nGranted, without many details it's probably hard to determine. But is less than a year enough time to wait for things I feel like he should've at least started to deal with before we got together? Or am I just being an impatient, self-centered asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1042756c245c4362a3d80c50c88696a4",
|
||
"input": "Back in April I met this guy, AN we'll call him. AN and I hit it off, we start a FWB thing. He introduces me to his friends, one of them, TT, talks to me quite often over insta. Now, AN and I were spending quite a bit of time together and it was clear we were developing feelings. I told him how often TT and I talked and he told me TT was just trying to sleep with me. AN told me that TT had literally asked AN if he could ask me out. I message TT, clarify that I have no interest in \"homie hopping\" and that we're just friends. TT acquiesced, but a few weeks later blows up on me for something random, says some rude shit in front of our friends. Eventually apologized but it was clear why he was upset. \n\nTT and I were friends for a while (about 6 months) while AN and I navigated our increasingly complicated relationship. We had lots of meaningful conversations. \n\nEventually shit between AN and I reaches a boiling point & things are ended. Shortly after things are ended, TT and I hang out. I joke that I need some rebound sex. TT literally says to me, \"You're trying to get laid, I'm trying to get laid...\" I cut him off there- him and AN are still friends, I know AN had feelings for me, I'm not comfortable getting between two good friends. Besides, I told him we were never going to be more than friends. He agrees. The next day he texts me and tells me he was an idiot for suggesting it; I tell him it's alright, I understand why you brought it up. \n\nSuddenly we stop talking as much. Days go by without communication, when previously we would at least share memes or music daily. \n\nAnd again, out of nowhere he BLOWS UP on me over messenger. He said some unbelievably hurtful things. He used insecurities I've confided in him against me. My self esteem took a massive blow; I cried myself to sleep several times (which is very out of character, I'm not a crier) and I even relapse into self harm. \n\nIt took a lot of work to get over what he said, I was already in a very delicate state because of AN's treatment of me. My current boyfriend helped me trust men again because after those two, I felt like I was worthless aside from my looks. \n\nI've avoided TT since, and generally moved on. Despite my best efforts, he's always around my other friends and I ran into him; he asked if we could talk. He \"apologized,\" by saying he \"was very stressed out about being in the middle of AN and I's 'break-up'\" (which, to be fair, we did put him in the middle of) and I happened to be who he blew up on. I told him I have moved on but I want nothing to do with him. \n\nNow some of our friends think I'm being an asshole, while to me it's clear TT was just waiting for good chance to get in my pants, and never really valued my friendship. They think I should move on. \n\nTl;Dr: AITA for wanting to avoid an ex friend who devasted me and gave me a flimsy non apology? \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b8aae6bda5af4db6a1d37a9eb6262795",
|
||
"input": "I’m 17 and will be 18 in 6 months. I live with my parents and I understand that it’s their house and their rules BUT I don’t understand how me getting tattoos or piercings is so bad!\n\nThey’re not just angry, they said if I get a tattoo they’re kicking me out and I think that just ridiculous. I try to be respectful with them otherwise, but I just get to frustrated that they’re so serious about something that, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t all that bad.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-acd11246a9d44339af3f41b6bb919c23",
|
||
"input": "There's this guy (he is 20, I am 19/F) whom I used to go to school with that really keeps bugging me. He follows me on all my social medias and has my snapchat. We have texted for years. Not daily but we talk for about a month or two, then he confesses his feelings for me, I reject him and we stop talking. He usually doesn't want to talk to me after that. Then a few months pass and he texts me again. We have been going in that loop for about 5 years and I am really getting tired of it.\n\nThis time around though we have been talking for 6 months and I really don't like talking to him. He makes me unconfortable and he asks me quite personal questions. Questions like: \"do you like someone right now?\" and \"are you taking antidepressents\" (I have a history of metal healt issues like depression and panic disorder). Those are just two examples and I don't want to tell him the answers. But he gets upset with me when I say I don't want to tell him.\n\nHe keeps asking me to meet up with him, like a date but I continue to say maybe. I can't say no because I feel bad. He likes telling me about his mental health issues. He also constantly gives me compliments and gives me weird comments. He told me that I reminded him of his mom, in a good way. He compliments me all the time. One compliment from time to time is nice, when it comes from the right person but he is so noth the right person. His compliments make me uncomfortable and I don't know why. He mainly compliments me on my eyes but he sometimes compliments my hair and freckles. I hate it but I feel a little bad for him. He recently got diagnosis for a multible personality disorder. I feel bad for him, that's why I kept replying to him.\n\nRecently though, I stopped replying. I couldn't do it anymore. But he keeps sending me messages. It really annoys me and I get into a really bad mood everytime that happens. I want to block him because I just can't stand him anymore. All his personal questions, his weird comments and his constant compliments drive me insane. WIBTA if I blocked him?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ea9d62c30c944323afebefbe61429b4a",
|
||
"input": "hey\n\ni live in turkey. about a 30min. ago a friend of mine send me a charity message. it was for refugees from east turkistan,china i suppose, who is struggling about affording their taxes, basic needs such as food, cloth and stuff. i saw that and jump it nosedive, reason i didnt check who was operating the charity, i ask my friend and he said he know the guys operating this. and one more, these days im studying for SAT like university exam second time(year) and i just miss warcraft so much... but i shouldnt go back. \n\nso it was a magnificent idea to send away the mone away from me, i can both do a charity and focus my lessons. i message the guy how much im going to give and i wanted a bank account to transfer money. then, after i did this all, i check the guys profile. it was \"ilim yayma cemiyeti\" \"enlightment spread society\". \n\nit is an association which was earlier a part of FETO or Gulen \"community\" then they leave the gulen to be closer to Erdogan government. now they are filling up the ranks of old FETO members. \n\nthis is the problem, i can keep my promise and help the needers alongside a part of old FETO, or i can violate my word and not help those guys.\n\nthere is two certain things about this whole situation, that i will not buy wow whatever i choose, it cause a big trouble in my mind now. gotta study.\n\nand second is if i help, refugees will definitely get it. in the and this is a very small part of what happens. i dont think my 100try would really affect so much. \n\nboth choices are seems to be asshole-ish, but which is less?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-866544636bad46fb91023dfc89e2154a",
|
||
"input": "So tonight I just learned something & it scared the shit out of me. I had felt that something bad had happened to my twin sister even tho I haven't spoken to her since last February or so. \n\nIt scared me & I want to talk to my bf about it but I don't know if I should keep it in the family since it's not his business. Knowing my sis like I do, she wouldn't want me to tell him. But I feel like I should. But also shouldn't bc I don't even know how long we'll be together. If he was my husband or fiancé, it'd be different. \n\nWould I be the asshole if I told my boyfriend about the family situation? Please give me a clear answer bc he's almost out from work. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f06bd610ebb24f9eb4055b4f8830ed74",
|
||
"input": "I went on a “date” with a guy from tinder. I went to his place to Netflix and chill. It was his first time meeting up with someone from tinder and he was a little nervous. We hung out and talked for a while before we actually did anything hookup-y, and I liked him and we got along well. I was on the fence about whether or not I was attracted to him or if I just liked him in a “you’re kinda cool” kind of way. I didn’t want to decide until we kissed because that’s the easiest way for me to figure out how I feel about someone, if I’m attracted to them or not. \n\nEventually when we started kissing he kissed really hard and used a lot of tongue and I thought it was gross. I tried to get him to move his mouth to, erm, someplace other than my mouth but he was like a leech that wanted to suck my saliva! I didn’t want to offend him and we were only hooking up once and I know some girls like that kind of kissing, so I didn’t want to say anything about it. We kept going and things got a bit heavier but I was getting turned off by him. After a few minutes of making out (maybe 10-15?) and my shirt was off, I just wanted to stop and leave. So I pretended like I was getting a phone call and I told him that I needed to go pick my friend up because her car wouldn’t start and she needed to get to the airport. I am not a super good liar but I tried to make it convincing because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But, I think he suspected that I was being a bit sketchy and he started questioning me about my fiend, asking me what time her flight was and where she was going and how far away did she live and stuff like that. Again, I didn’t want to tell him that I felt like I just wanted to get out of there because I really wasn’t attracted to him, so I just pretended like I was in a big frantic hurry and made up answers to his questions while I put my shirt back on and then left really quick. On my way out he said “We should hang out again, hopefully another friend won’t need a ride next time.” And I agreed because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. \n\nSince then he texted me twice and I just ignored him but he got the message and he hasn’t tried to get in touch with me recently. \n\nSo, am I the asshole for lying about why I needed to leave instead of just telling him that I wasn’t attracted to him and hurting his feelings? Am I the asshole for other reasons? Is no one an asshole? Are we both assholes? Is he the asshole? I’m so confused. What is the etiquette in these situations? Would it change if we were both girls or both guys?\n\nP.S. I wanted to clarify that I didn’t feel threatened by him at all. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b03fa64ac14d4392b8ac750c7d66825d",
|
||
"input": "So, I've been with my girlfriend for 5 - 6 years. She is great, her spirit animal is a Honey Badger as she small and cute, then furiously aggressive with the capacity to terrify lions. Her main, minor fault is it is very difficult to get her to compromise as she is so strong willed with her convictions.\n\nThis often leads to us abandoning large plans such as weddings as my requirements don't meet hers, resulting in arguments and refusal.\n\nAt some point we may have some kids. I don't like some of her suggested names as they make no sense and often think they do not align with what I envisaged for the fruit of our loins. \n\nMe: \"Harrison? My name is not Harry. You got that from Dexter. Nope.\" She is adamant. She is furious and will not relent (Honeybadger). \n\nShe didn't like me referring to the cats litter tray as \"Hopkins Shitbox\" in front of other people, so I renamed it Harrison.\n\n I named the new vacuum Harrison. I named my new shoes Harrison. I even managed to name a large piece of maritime equipment at work Harrison (which is now actually official).\n\nThis is a single example. I do it with other of the names I do not like as well and that has worked well so far.\n\nI think she is very keen on Harrison and as expected is completely unwavering. \n\nThe potential kid may be named after a litter tray/specialised dredge pump. I don't like it.\n\nAm I the asshole for using petty means to stop my girlfriend naming our potential kids names I don't like/agree with? \n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7d74767ff3f045aaa055c140d8c6976f",
|
||
"input": "Just to start off I'm on my mobile phone as my computer is down so I apologize for the formatting. But me and my mom go into an argument about what happened a day ago about what I said. We was in a store looking around and I saw some items I wanted that were a little pricey. I figured I have the money I could go ahead and get it. Well my mom makes the comment \"why are you getting that\" and I was going to reply back with \" it's my money but I appreciate the concern though\" but I only was able to get out \"it's my money\" because as soon as those three words came out she goes \"well excuse the hell out of me\". Then she got upset, now mind you there are times when she is what seems to me trying to tell me what I should and shouldn't buy. So we get into this argument over why I shouldn't of bought what I bought and she goes \"well when I'm dead and gone you will wish you listened to me more.\" This isn't the first time she has pulled the \"if I was dead\" card and this isn't the first time her and I have bumped heads. My question is, am I the asshole for saying what I said or is she overreacting?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-88d5883eba7e4134a76ac0c78962549d",
|
||
"input": "I’ve known this guy since I was in elementary and sent me a link asking me what I thought about his song. I wouldn’t want someone to lie to me when I ask for their opinion on something but I feel like he took the criticism the wrong way. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-faeb77226bac4537be86e95e41d4f4b8",
|
||
"input": "I was messing around with my brother when we got into an argument about a game we were playing. He was arguing with me for a good five minutes when he then proceeded to walk out of my room before turning off the fan by yanking on it as hard as possible. The fan is a ceiling fan and has two strings connected to it for the light and fan speeds. After he yanked it, the string came unattached from the fan. He then proceeds to blame me as \"I broke it because I turned the fan on. He then proceeds to begin blaming me for it breaking as he does with all things. I then start arguing with him and start yelling. Am I in the wrong for escalating the situation by yelling? Am I the asshole for taking it overboard?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-69888c116fc34e5a91c661cdc45e186e",
|
||
"input": "So a friend of mine was chilling over in my dorm room with a lady friend of his, (we’ll call them Jack and Jill) both of them were enjoying playing smash bros with a bit of laughing and flirting, I would’ve just let them be but a local dude from around the dorm (let’s call him Frank) decided to tag along with them (to neither of their consent). \n\nWell while I didn’t personally know Frank word is that he’s that kind of guy that tries to force interactions with you even if you don’t want to and has done it enough apparently to gain a fairly annoying reputation although the guys who I’ve heard it from are too nice to tell him, due to apparently feeling bad about how he’s a orphan kid and some other stuff, yet they do what they can to avoid him when possible. Well Jack has also had his run ins with Frank but his negative accounts are mostly when Jack has been hanging out with Jill and Frank shows up to ruin the party. Apparently Frank has a tendency to lie when around Jill and does so in a way that makes it seem like he’s trying to impress her but at the same time his lies are so bogus that Jill can see right through them. Well Jack and Jill again are both too nice to tell him off but instead just let him go at it and entertain all his lies with occasional nods and “oh really”s. \n\nSo here we are in the dorm and Franks starting to do exactly that type of stuff and it’s getting on my nerves because while they’re not dating or anything it doesn’t take much to see that both Jack and Jill must be talking and Frank is really just making it awkward for them to enjoy each other’s company. Well I had made the mistake of also letting Frank play the game as well so now he’s stuck here and only making things more awkward. This whole time I’m just observing the situation but then he just gets even worse, he was initially standing up playing the game but then decides he needs to sit down, cool, but for some reason he decides he needs to sit in between both Jack and Jill despite plenty of other space available so he initially asks Jill to scoot over but when she puzzling asks why and is hesitant to do so Frank takes things into his own hands and while Jill is still in the seat and playing the game moves her chair over from near Jack to make room for his own. \n\nWell that was a big problem for me personally and again made the atmosphere even more awkward, but I just decide to keep my mouth shut. So later on in an attempt to get Frank out of here Jack decides to switch to a two player game, and of course Frank has played this game so the whole time he’s constantly instructing and touching Jills controller (even though, surprise, she wasn’t asking for any of it). Well seeing as to how she’s constantly denying his attempts to “help” her Frank wanders off into the corner of the room and gets on his phone, and while I don’t know what he was doing while he was on there he decides to randomly say \n\n“I don’t know why I’m single... My dick is so perfect”\n..... \n\nSaying this loud enough for everyone to hear, but I guess he doesn’t think we heard him because as me, Jack and Jill are all looking at each other, our eyes giving that “did he really say that” look, he decides to say it again, “I mean my dick is godly perfect”, this time passing by Jill and giving her a slight look as he does so, I’m guessing for assurance to see if she was at all aroused by this comment, which she of course isn’t returning. Well Jack is the first to speak up and tells Frank that “that was uncalled for and he should really watch out what he says and who he says it around” but as I said before Jack is just too nice and I didn’t feel like he really got across just how uncomfortable Frank just made everybody so I then decide to check him as well. \n\nSo, and I quote, tell him, “Nah dude that shits not okay, you say some stupid shit like that again and you’re getting the fuck out of my room”. Well I’m guessing it works because for the rest of the night the guy isn’t nearly as annoying but still lingers in the room, and the whole time I’m regretting not having sent him out then and there.\n\nAITA for the way I responded to the whole thing given what went down that night, and taking into account the fact that he’s a orphan and pretty socially awkward.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c6f273165be447d7b0312d3f2d9be14b",
|
||
"input": "So long story short. \nMy boyfriend and I have moved to a new city together so he can start his PhD. We've moved into a 2 bedroom house with just ourselves.\nWe share one bedroom and he's converted the spare room into his office.\nI have 2 rabbits that I love unconditionally and now winter is setting in in the UK, darker days etc. I've found my rabbits can't play outside in their enclosure as much. Also because of my shift patterns (I work as a nurse), I haven't been handling them as much so they haven't been as friendly with cuddles recently.\nI've asked my boyfriend whether he would mind if I set up an enclosure area in the front room. They won't be free roaming, it's all enclosed and the bunnies won't be able to get to any of our furniture. They're also toilet trained so they poop in a tray so very easy to clean. They can exercise more inside and people often find their rabbits become more friendly because they have more interaction.\n\nHe has given me a very firm no simply because he doesn't want rabbits in the house.\nAITA for thinking he's being selfish?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d7b6cf6aec3f4e819607e1aa2860fd5b",
|
||
"input": "Ok so, this happened a few months ago and let me set up some back ground information. Ex and I had a very serious and long relationship, 5+ years and it lasted through high school and into college. It ended horrifically and we have no talked for years until I heard that her dad passed away, and he was a real stand up guy. So, I reached out to my ex to ask if it was ok if I could send a card in regards to her fathers passing. She said it was ok. The thing is, I never told my current gf about me doing so, because I don't want to bring up any sort of fight or argument. So....am I the asshole here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a7075798ab7a4ca6a6a5a0d4b1575208",
|
||
"input": "I am finishing up my last year of medical school, and got accepted into a 2 year residency program across the country, with a 3 hour time difference. \n\nShe recently got accepted into a really good job, which has a lot of potential for growth. The city that I’m moving to doesn’t have great job prospects in her field. She has all of her family here. She has all of her friends here. Asking her to move would be asking her to give up a lot, as I’m tied into this move and don’t have a choice. \n\nWe are very in love, and we have talked about us getting married and having kids, and talk about it all the time. I feel extremely upset about this, and that we are forced to do long distance. \n\nI already asked her once, if she would move, but she cited the above reasons for why she can’t, and she was crying that I would even ask. \n\nBut still, I want to ask again, and really have a serious conversation about it. AITA???\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bd25046610594f87ba7e8b29f3c74d4b",
|
||
"input": "So basically my relationship with my roommate isn’t great. We don’t have much in common and she’s messy, inconsiderate and kind of annoying to me. But despite this stuff I try to be a decent person and not do anything rude to her and just get through the rest of this semester (we’re both in college and I’m moving out at the end of the semester). \nAnyway, the reason I don’t want her boyfriend staying over is because she invited him without telling me he was coming after I’ve asked her to let me know. Also, she spent nearly the entire day cooking for him in our (very small) shared kitchen so I wasn’t able to use it for hours. She also let him stay at our apartment all day watching Netflix. \nI’m planning on basically saying that she can’t invite him over if this is how they’re gonna behave. Also I’d like to know if there is anything I can do legally to get him out if she invites him again. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7ed08e8c84c4471497005ff939f28b70",
|
||
"input": "Last year I attended a NYE party at my friends house, and this year he invited me and my new girlfriend. I accepted and asked my girlfriend if she'd like to come. She said no, and then questioned why I didn't spend NYE with her instead. She's Filipino and they have a lot of family NYE traditions. Now she's saying stuff like \"it's good that you're spending the new years with people who make you happy,\" because I didn't cancel on my friends. I understand that when I first accepted (and knew the answer would likely be 'no') I didn't really take into consideration of what she'd like to do. So AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e255b9b483d54ce09f52ac865bd9af38",
|
||
"input": "I(26m) decided that I was going to go on one more spring break vacation with my boys and that was during the last spring break I went on, which was in 2018. The vacation was set to be a full week which I told her about since the beginning of our relationship. So it has been set in stone for awhile. Me and my SO have been together since November of 2018 which is not that long but long enough for us to be getting pretty serious. We don’t live together but she comes over often. I would say on average 4 times a week. \n\nBefore I left I would tell her to come over to my house every day, instead of the usual of other day or so, but I get off a late from work a lot and most of the time we would get together by 9ish at night and I would be going to sleep pretty soon after that because I wake up at 6am, and the longer day wipes me out. Even then I would stay up with her until about 1030 to 11ish, because I wanted to spend more time with her before I left. \n\nI left on Saturday and on Friday we were hanging out from the time I got out of work until about 1030 that night. This is when one of my best friends, pretty much my brother, wanted to come over because he wasn’t going to going to go on the trip with me and my other best friend. All of us are basically family. \n\nNow this is were it went bad because I hung out with them all night and we got drunk. I ended up drinking something bad or my stomach just wasn’t feeling right and I got sick and felt like throwing up in the middle of us having sex. She didn’t seem to be mad at me about this and was trying to be consulting about it but I felt like a POS after that happened. Then I woke up late the next morning because of the drinking. She wanted me to have sex with her again to make up for what I had done the night before but I had to leave to get to where me and my fiend were going for spring break which was about an 8hr drive so I told her that all I could really do was have a quickie and she made it seem like by saying that she was just some side chick or something like that. \n\nI never really thought that it was that big a deal when I said it but I do see her point. In my mind I just wanted to get to where me and my friend had to go and spend one more night with my brother before I left for the week because I rarely get to see him now, maybe once a month, because he is with a girl that is really controlling of him. I feel like I do see her point but also that I really didn’t do a thing wrong because I’ll be coming hack relatively soon. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d613cf13045848699c4117363142e777",
|
||
"input": "On mobile, very sorry for any formatting issues.\n\nSo for context: I’m -15- 16, I live with my mom and visit my dad every other weekend. This last year I’ve had an increasingly tense relationship with my dad, I feel like he is being overbearing and he thinks I should be more responsible and social. He tends to say he wishes I would be more open and honest with him, but it’s difficult since I can’t argue my view as well as he can and usually end up feeling like shit. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but I’d prefer not to get into the specifics of our dynamic. He got me a MacBook last year for my birthday, but it didn’t work and said he would replace it(but still hasn’t). \n\nSo, my 16th birthday was last week, and this weekend I went to my dad’s house to celebrate. On Friday, my dad had said he thought I would really like it. When I asked him if it was a new computer, he said I already have one, referring to the desktop that is not mine and I can only use for max four days out of a month. \n\nSo today was when I opened my presents and, still being an absolute child, was super excited to see what he had gotten me. Mind you, I figured it wasn’t going to be a computer because of the chat we had had Friday. However, I was still extremely disappointed to see that I had received a Snuggie. And not just any Snuggie, but the same one (albeit with a different color) he had gotten me for Christmas, not even two months ago. I know I looked disappointed, cause my dad asked if I liked it. I knew I had to say yes, since my stepmother was sitting right next to me and she’s really sensitive. In fact, during Christmas my dad had said to just act like I liked my gifts even if I didn’t. So I smiled and said “yeah, I do like the blue.” And just hung around until I could talk to my dad alone. \n\nSo, I had a little while to think about why, specifically, I don’t like this gift. \n1. I already have one. I don’t really need another one, except maybe for convenience of not taking it back and forth to my dads house. \n2. It’s passive aggressive. My other Snuggie had been at my moms house for a while. I hadn’t even been using it, just forgot to bring it back to my dads. I feel like getting me another Snuggie is just him passive aggressively telling me to keep his gifts at his house. \n3. It’s unthoughtful. I think that, by getting just a copy/paste of my Christmas gift, it shows that my dad didn’t really want to put any effort into finding something else I’d enjoy. It seems like he was really banking on the fact that I liked the gift the first time, so why not get another one? \n4. It wasn’t really relevant to me. I like having a blanket with a hood, sure, but I really think gifts should be a way to show that you really know and care about someone, not just an obligation to buy something. If it had been slightly more relevant, maybe. For example, I had told him that I wished the Snuggie had arm holes, so I could play on the computer without having chilly arms. I think that would have been a more relevant gift than the same thing as Christmas. \nHaving these reasons, I felt like a badass and was kind of excited to share my thoughts with my dad.\n\nWhile my dad drove me home, he asked me if I actually liked my gift, as I had been a little “off” since after dinner. I answered honestly, no, I don’t like it. It feels lazy on your part to get me the same gift as Christmas and I wish I had gotten something more thoughtful. He seemed really hurt and I said I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel. \nHe starts telling me that the concept of not appreciating a gift is so foreign to him, because he grew up needing to get food stamps or go to soup kitchens, and implying, but not directly stating, that I should be grateful for getting anything. I think this is unreasonable, since we’re probably more of a middle class family and can probably afford gifts, especially since I prefer homemade, thoughtful gifts anyway. I didn’t say that though. \nHe also said that he and my stepmother had actually puta lot of thought into getting me another Snuggie, since they knew I had one at my mom’s house and they wanted me to be comfortable at their house as well. I think this was more of a selfish thing, but I’m biased. I think they just want to make sure they see me using my gift. \nHe brought up the whole “It’s the thought that counts” thing but I still wasn’t convinced it took a whole lot of thought to get the same thing as Christmas. I said that it doesn’t just matter that someone is giving the gift, it also matters how thoughtful and personal the gift is. I said the Snuggie wasn’t very personal and didn’t seem very thoughtful, and that was pretty disappointing to me. \nOf course I was feeling attacked (unironically) by the part about being ungrateful, and started crying there. I know, teenagers and their silly emotions. This is usually the trend when I have a conversation with my dad, and I can’t tell if I’m faking it for attention, or if I can’t take anyone criticizing me. Overall he definitely won the conversation, but was he right? Before talking to him I thought I was definitely NTA, but now I’m not really sure. Am I the ungrateful asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6df8d40f8e0b420a9c52c754cf2d2f90",
|
||
"input": "\n\nI should not be annoyed because I told my SO to invite friends. But hot dog pizza does not go with the traditional and adult Thanksgiving I had planned. We are all late 20s or early 30s. Plus he is bringing his SO, meaning we are now feeding two people and getting a hot dog pizza in return...\n\nSo I am making changes to the menu to adjust to this new standard.\n\nThe homemade Martha mac and cheese is being substituted for box mac and cheese. Cheap box stuffing instead of homemade too. Only doing one dessert instead of two.... and saving the real mac and cheese (costs like $20 all in to make it btwn cheeses, milk etc) and stuffings for just us on the wknd instead.\n\nSO was not pleased but I do not want to feel like I am feeding people who can't bring something adult to a holiday dinner. They wont know either way anyway...",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-04a3c795419240febf1306aae86f79fe",
|
||
"input": "This is just a throwaway and I'm not sure if my post title is really enough to understand so I'll just explain the situation in better detail. \n\n \n\nBasically for some background info, I've been friends with a guy now since grade 10 and recently finished school and graduated. We always got along well and we'd message each other every day just to chat and all that kind of stuff. At the back end of the year his grandma passed away and she was someone that he had been close to all his life, he basically hasn't really been the same since. However that was never an issue for me, I would always let him know that I was there to support him and always be able to give him someone to talk to when he had any issues. We would still always message and hang out after school, played on the same sports team and just overall had a good strong friendship. \n\n \n\nEverything seemed to be turning around again until he had a big crush on a girl. To cut a long story short he was always interested in her and they would hang out as friends but he always saw her as more than friends while she didn't feel the same way. When he asked her out and she declined he started to really struggle mentally again and couldn't get over it. Around this time he started to cut a lot of people out of his life and completely removed all forms of social media he had and stopped talking to a lot of his other friends. He would talk about how he trusted nobody and that everyone was just fake and hated him. \n\n\n\nEven currently after almost 6 months he still can't seem to get over her. I've always been there to help him with his troubles and I've always been there to support and help him but recently things have just gotten worse. Last Tuesday the cops arrived at his house and after he told me that he had attempted to kill himself. I continued to be there to listen to him and make sure he understood that I was on his side all the way and that I would help him in any way I could. \n\n \n\nHowever over time and especially lately It's just become increasingly draining to me mentally. For starters he has mentioned in the past that he \"feels that he should be a priority and not an after thought\" and seems to always be needing to rant to me. Additionally he seems to be rather insensitive to my needs and while i'm always willing to help him I don't feel he returns that favour to me and things are always about him. The final thing that is maybe the straw that breaks the camels back is the fact that he doesn't seem to hold back in insulting me and making fun of me at times, often being condescending with the way he handles any help I try to offer him. \n\n \n\nI don't feel like it would be right to just cut off with him especially during such a tough time for him but personally it is really taxing on me and I just don't feel like this is a true friendship anymore. In a way it seems like its all about him and I just have to be there to take of his issues. Maybe I just need to toughen up and stick through but I'm really not too sure. \n\n \n\nSo reddit, am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8c77931195444f0988d3161d9ecbc6d8",
|
||
"input": "This situation constantly drives me crazy...\n\nTwo people simultaneously approach a set of door(s!), one from each side. One of two scenarios typically plays out:\n\n1) Person A holds a door open, letting Person B walk through first, and then proceeds through themselves.\n\n2) Person A walks through a door first, then politely holds open the door for Person B to proceed through.\n\nWhen scenario 1 plays out, you all know the ridiculous “(“ type arc Person B must walk to avoid brushing up with Person A, while also saying thank you. Or Person A stands there and holds the door for C, D, and E as well.\n\nSame thing for scenario 2. B skinnies up to slide past A holding the door for them. And another meaningless thank you.\n\n\nBUT IN BOTH SCENARIOS ONLY 1 DOOR GETS USED AND THE OTHER IGNORED!\n\n\nAITA for saying fuck it and just walking through my own door on the right hand side? Was that not the whole purpose of the design? To be able to accommodate two people at once? The whole thing seems like a weird experiment for people to prove their manners to each other. Establish a hierarchy of who has the best manners. Ever stand there and quip with someone about who gets to hold the door and who has to take the walk of shame?\n\n“No, you go, I insist.”\n\nIt’s bizarre. Pointless. Use both doors!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ca2e0926c20649f0b9498d4c906d832c",
|
||
"input": "​\n\nMy brother and I have had a tense relationship since we were little. I was a typical snitch and he was a typical bully. As we got older our relationship became more faceted and I think his hatred for me grew deeper. I can only assume he hates me based off of what he's said to me, and I can't really blame him. I was the nightmare little sister, his parents were divorcing as he was in the womb and he was only about a year and a half old when his dad remarried to his step mom and had me. I know it must've been hard and with two parents bidding for his love with video games, and tech, and toys rather than love it would've hurt.\n\nI always knew he hated me, ever since I was little I could play with him, and I can still interact with him, it's just I know he hates me, it's always been a part of our relationship.\n\n​\n\nOne day my dad announced we were going to the beach and I had an anxiety attack, it was the first time I'd ever had one which made it scarier and it was because of something that had happened the last time I was at that lake. We called the trip off, I didn't intend for this to happen I just knew I'd never go back to that lake again. After this was decided my brother walked into a room I was in and proceeded to tell me that I was ruining the family and was the reason our dad had depression. He told me he knew I would just go crying to our mom and that I shouldn't tell her what he said, I didn't for a long, long time.\n\nMy brother came into me and my cousin's at the time room to tell me that he was such a good person, because he had so much dirt on people he could ruin anyone's reputation at any time and he didn't. I mentioned to my cousin after he left the room that what he said was something a sociopath would say (I know that's mean spirited but at the time I was just in a bad mood and wanted nothing to do with him.) He came back into the room to tell me that he was so empathetic he knew exactly what people wanted to hear and he knew how to destroy people as well. He told me I was extremely unempathetic and it showed, I'm someone who prides myself on compassion, so hearing that hurt and I'm still afraid to this day that he was speaking truth.\n\nMy brother came home from his mom's one day and gave me a hug telling me he learned that he should appreciate family, but the hug felt empty, it was like it was just there for show and I'm still not sure if I'm just paranoid or not, I just know I can still feel his contempt for me. (P.S I can't remember if the 2nd paragraph incident occurred before or after his supposed revelation about family.)\n\n​\n\nSorry this was so long\n\nI've vented to my friends about his issues before, speculating that the trauma combined with his behavior, and the fact that our dad has NPD might be a sign of a personality disorder, I have a therapist I just sometimes can't hold it in, and that's my fault.\n\nSo AITA for speculating that my brother might have a personality disorder?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0554e10f81704e5aba9d37f74672b23e",
|
||
"input": "I’m going to end my current relationship. I live in a house and she has a dorm room, but stays with me almost every night. She has brought quite a lot of her stuff over here. She really only uses her dorm room during the day in between classes. \n\nShe has a real temper and bad habit of breaking things/getting physical when she’s angry. I’d really rather not break up with her at my house because it’s extremely likely that stuff would get damaged. I’d like to just pack all her stuff up tomorrow and wait until she’s at her dorm room in between classes and break it off there. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dd7b427a631e449a90d81d8ca5f50fb0",
|
||
"input": "So this is a long post, TL;DR at the bottom\n\nI've known this girl for several years now, I found out back in July 2018 that she was going behind her boyfriends back, talking shit about him, comparing him to her ex in everything he did, she even sent me a screenshot of a conversation between her and some other guy, basically them flirting. I didn't say anything about this to her, thinking it wasn't my place to get involved. \n\nMaybe a week or 2 after that, her boyfriend found messages on her laptop (unintentionally) to several other guys that she's been texting and flirting with behind his back. This obviously upset the guy, so he came to my S/O and told him about all this. My partner came to me, and told me about this, because seeing as she's my friend, I should try and talk to her. I confronted her and she went to her boyfriend, and started giving him shit for going to my S/O and \"spreading gossip\".\n\nSomehow, me and my partner turned out to be the cause of they argument, which we weren't keen on being involved in in the first place. And we lost touch for most of the summer.\n\nWhen I came back to university in September, my friend and I briefly met up with another mutual friend of ours, we seemed to talk it out, and come to the conclusion that what happened during the summer wasn't anyone's fault and it was just a big misunderstanding where everyone ended up getting heated and overreacting. This was fine, we ended up talking and stuff again, seemed like everything was behind us.\n\nRecently we met up again, she had a few drinks and accidentally let it slip to us that she was planning to break up with her boyfriend after she finds her own place to move into, because she \"doesn't see it going anywhere\" .. \"he's just not (her ex's name)..\"I just need a place to stay at the moment and have nowhere else to go\". This surpised and shocked me, and I asked her is she sure she wants to break up because them two seem to work so well.\n\nAt the end of the night, I came home to my partner and tell him about this as it was kind of concerning me. He told me that he was thinking of just going to her boyfriend and telling him about this, as she is just using him and it isn't fair on the guy. I thought it was the right thing to do, so I ended up texting my friend and gave her a heads up. Basically saying \"hey look, I told my S/O about what you said, with all the breaking up and stuff, sorry, I know it wasn't my place, but it didn't seem fair\" she then came at me saying that she had never said that she was definitely going to break up with him (she did), etc. And that now she's gonna have to deal with that, thanks a lot.\nMy partner didn't even bother contacting the guy anyway though. \n\nI dismissed these as I knew she had a few drinks earlier that night, but she texted me the next day saying that I've always been a horrible friend, and that I only ever met up with her and our other friend to get the gossip, and then \"report back to your keeper\" which I found absurt and laughable to be honest.\n\nI have since stopped talking to her, blocked her on social media. I did see her a couple of days ago and we exchanged a few words, in which she informed me that she has in fact broken up with her boyfriend and that she has found a new place to live in, etc. I'm just not sure if I was an asshole in this, telling my boyfriend in confidence something that was bothering me.\n\nTL;DR: ex friend was using her boyfriend, his money, car, house, etc. She was planning to break up with him as soon as she had backup, and told me this. I told my S/O about this as he is friends with her boyfriend. He wanted to text him to warn him, I talked him out of it, but still told my friend that I had told him. She flipped out and started insulting me saying that I can't keep my mouth shut",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a54892536a0549798ef14955903437d2",
|
||
"input": "Backstory on my husband's family: both my BIL and FIL are drug addicts, mostly into the hard stuff like heroin. However, my BIL was in a great rehab facility for a few years with his own little but growing family. My family have bought them clothes, grocery gift cards, even electronics to help them out. We were so proud of the BIL and his family for trying to stay off drugs and working to move them out of rehab. An example of what we do for them: One Thanksgiving weekend, I drove 140 miles round trip (twice) from home to the facility to pick up this family so they'd be home for the holidays. \n\nOne day, BIL gets kicked out of the facility. Not 100% sure why but whatever the reason was, BIL couldn't return for 3 months. We get the call and we told him, \"Move in with us. Let's find you a job...\" all the supportive stuff. Instead, he moves in with his father (my FIL) and they start smoking. Years of rehab down the drain. It was like all the support we gave him didn't matter. We tried talking to the FIL as well but he didn't care... he had his drug using best friend back (FIL and the rest of the in laws need their own thread).\n\nWe don't want to be anywhere where they're present. It's just an argument waiting to happen. The in laws are pissed at us that just because they took everything we've done for granted, we're still supposed to see them and support them, including buying them more stuff, giving them rides, etc. Just because they're family? It's as if it's expected of us to continue providing support (not many have stepped up to the plate but we're still the bad guys...bunch of friggin hypocrites). Now no one talks to us. Am I/ are we the assholes?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7e2b1a0e5fcc44119c6cd0afe016bca7",
|
||
"input": "I live in a residence with a kitchen that is shared between 15 people. A girl who I know also lived here for two years, but this year she didn't during the first semester because of unrelated reasons. This week she just moved back in, after subletting the room to someone else for the first semester.\n\nWhen she left in the summer, she also emptied out her closet in the kitchen. I put my stuff in this closet right after. Now yesterday when she came back, she moved my stuff to another closet, claiming that the one I had my stuff in was hers, because she used it last year. She didn't notify me that she was going to move my stuff.\n\nI moved my stuff back, and when I notified her about it, she kinda freaked out. I'm shocked by the hostile nature of her messages, and absolute refusal to discuss it in person. She messaged me like I'm a stranger, not even considering for a moment the countless times I helped her out with things during the last two years. I temporarily moved my stuff to my room since there was no possibility to even argue, and I noticed the last few weeks that my things get used by other people, which I don't like. I'm ready to cut ties with this person and ignore her for the rest of the semester. AITA?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2c3ae81dfac64d3ea95526649138d0df",
|
||
"input": "Background: I (27F) have the same job as my coworker (23F). We both work in Recreation in a seniors independent living complex. I've been there for 2.5 years, she has been there for 9 months. Much of our job consists of running programs, driving the bus, and basically being in front of people (seniors and sometimes their families) and running the show. She was born in Canada and only speaks English, fluently (relevant).\n\n​\n\nYesterday we ran a Scottish Trivia program together. She said she'd read over the questions beforehand. There were about 60 people in attendance, we were up at the front switching the mic back and forth doing the trivia questions. A few times she pronounced words wrong, so I quietly whispered to her the correct pronunciation, because from my point of view it was clear the seniors didn't know what she was talking about.\n\n​\n\nAbout halfway through she read the question \"Who is the patron saint of Scotland?\", however she read it as \"pah-trohn\", like the alcohol. People chuckled/laughed, so did I, because it was funny. An alcohol saint of Scotland, hilarious! No big deal. Or so I thought.\n\n​\n\nAfter the program, with our door and our bosses door (right next to ours) wide open, she asks if she can talk to me. She says that she feels very embarrassed when I correct her pronunciation doing a group activity like we were, and that she was bullied for it a lot in school and she gets a lot of anxiety about it. I reply saying that that obviously was not my intention to make her feel bad and I apologize. She replies saying I do this all the time and she's very sensitive about it (she mispronounced things a fair bit). I reply saying I only clarified the words because the seniors couldn't understand what she was trying to say, and I was not laughing at her or making fun of her. I offered for next time to go through the material with her beforehand to see if there are any words she is unsure of how to say, and I will help her. She replies saying no, it's just an anxiety thing, I get so much anxiety being in front of people already so it just happens. At this point we get interrupted and our conversation ends there.\n\n​\n\nI can see her point of view - I know she has issues with anxiety, etc. However, the way I would have handled it (and did, because I pronounced some Scottish words wrong too), was to laugh it off and be a part of the joke, rather than taking it as a personal attack, which it wasn't.\n\n​\n\nShe's had anxiety issues with this job before, and this was the 3rd issue in 24 hours (the first being she had too much anxiety to drive the bus, so I had to drive, the second being refusing to do a lip sync thing for an event we have planned for April, the third was this event). She's taken MANY days off due to anxiety, as in drained her whole sick bank and then a couple weeks on top of that. The majority of our job is to be in front of people and be entertaining - if that causes this level of anxiety, why work in this job at all? \n\n​\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c7627d5c0a694fdc80c4210e761c6a2c",
|
||
"input": "I have a 50-50 custody arrangement of my 8 year old daughter (Lisa) with my ex-wife/her mother (Ariana). For the past few years I have been making it a point to not attend events that Ariana is attending, and she has not been attending events that I attended. If it were up to Ariana, we would be chums - I, however, do not wish to have a friendly relationship with her. A civil relationship for the child's benefit is all that is necessary.\n\nLisa joined a sports team this year, and the year-end banquet is coming up, at a restauraunt 10 minutes from my home. Ariana informed me that she would like to attend. I requested that since Ariana attended the first game of the year (which was scheduled on 'my' day) that I be able attend the banquet (which also happens to be scheduled on 'my' day) alone this year, and she attend next year's banquet. Ariana replied that she would be there \"no matter who has her that day\". She offered to sit at a separate table and that Lisa would sit with me. \n\nI explained to her that I did not think it was best for Lisa to have both parents at the event, but only be able to sit with one, and that sitting together was out of the question - I have no interest in conversing with Ariana. I reiterated my request to switch who takes her each year, and that I be able to take her to the first one (since she attended the first game). \n\nAfter a few more exchanges with this same story playing out, she informed me she had explained to Lisa (she was home with her at the time) the situation, and had explained my feelings about not wanting to sit at the same table with Ariana, while in the same email explaining my feelings incorrectly.\n\nI told her that I didn't think it was the right thing to do to put Lisa in the middle of this argument, and that it wasn't her place to tell Lisa how I felt about the situation. I informed her that constituted disparaging me to Lisa, and was justiciable - then told her not to do it again. \n\nI then told her that I had discussed the situation with Lisa (I waited a day so I could discuss it with her in person), and that Lisa did not want to be put in a situation where she had to choose between her parents, and that Ariana will be taking Lisa to the banquet by themselves this year, and that I would like to take Lisa myself next year. I also included that Lisa said this seemed a fair way to do it. I know this seems hypocritical considering I just called Ariana out for it, however... damage control.\n\nAriana replied that she is not taking Lisa to the banquet just because I decided she would, since it will be 'my' day - that I needed to make it work. She said if she finds out that Lisa doesn't go because I was \"too busy\" that day, it's my fault that Lisa was unable to attend. \n\nTL/DR - I wanted to take her by myself. She said no, she's coming too. I said, fine, you take her. She said, no, you bring her and if you don't you're the parent at fault. \n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-da45417454a448c5a16ba6f14cbfbec6",
|
||
"input": "Leading up to this I knew that it was being planned, although I didn't have plans on going. It's not that I didn't particulary wanted to (Its complicated I'll skip this part). I was planning on going abroad to work and she is didn't even bother asking whats up with that. She didn't even ask twice or be like, uspet I guess? about me not coming. I know this sounds really boring but on top of that we've had problems lately with trust and all that and shes gonna be with mutual friends. Her rommate is gonna be a guy I know too. Not worried about that though. (i know the guy hes cool). I texted her about this saying it doesnt feel nice and she started this huge argument aaand yeah..",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-323720f014284bee856631a757eb2f38",
|
||
"input": "Title sums it up pretty well, but I will give a little context nonetheless. \n\nI (17m) am a introvert. I don’t like dances, parties or anything of that sort, hence why I don’t want to go to prom. I just like to hang around and do my own thing. I think prom is not really worth much and it’s not really that big of a deal so I just don’t want to go. \n\nMy parents think otherwise. \n\nThey want me to go to prom very badly and every time I do tell them they are like “just go for the experience and the memories, you’re just being an asshole for not wanting to go and socialize and have a ‘good time’.” Which makes me feel guilty because they probably want the memories and pictures from prom and I’m denying them that. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA for not wanting to go to prom?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ecc9f13c4345472fa64934c34d8dec9c",
|
||
"input": "Apologies for any odd formatting, I'm on mobile.\n\nSome background:\nI am 19 (turning 20 in a couple months) and I have relied on my parents for most of my life. They are pretty protective. I guess they can also be referred to as helicopter parents? They didn't let me take the bus or walk home until halfway through highschool, they just insisted that they drive me everywhere. They almost didn't allow me to get a part-time job in my last year of highschool, it took a lot of persistence. I'm almost 20 and I have to be home by 10 PM or else they keep blowing up my phone with texts and calls. For a majority of my life, I have had to share a room with my sister (until she went to university).\n\nAnyways, as I have gotten older I have been wanting more and more independence. It was only when I started university that I felt like I had more freedom (to an extent).\n\n--\n\nSo, a couple of weeks ago, my parents and I were in the car and they brought up that they were looking to buy a house. My mom said that if they bought a house, it would be for me to live in so long as I give them a place to stay (ie. the basement).\n\nI told them that I appreciate the fact that they would buy a house for me but I would prefer to experience living on my own for once in order to gain some independence. My mom got upset and told me that I am ungrateful and disrespectful for not wanting to let them stay with me if we got a new place.\n\nI told her that it wasn't fair that my older sister (28) was able to experience living on her own/away from them during her college years and they made me go to school locally so I could stay home. I also said that I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of letting them live with me if it were further down the line, but I would much rather experience living on my own/with roommates first.\n\nSo, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1ac518e03b3f43d5b997b6e7fa3dbdd8",
|
||
"input": "So emm I 15m this happened earlier and its messing with my head \n\nSo I was in class(french oui oui) and somebody was messing or doing something honestly I dont know what happened I didnt think anything did but the teacher absolutely flipped. Complete mad FUMING anyway I start to laugh because for some reason getting really annoyed over what I was aware was nothing was really funny. Well she went for me called me a utter disgrace and said I disgust her. She then tells me to leave her room.\nSo I took my stuff left and went home.(Apparently after I left she got worse and was calling everyone wasters. And things I wasnt there cant confirm). \n\nBut this is the part that unsettles me I suffer from depression and (the bot wont let me say thing here) (im getting help I guess) and the school and all the teachers know \nI left and walked down the stairs out the door I seriously expected her to send someone to make sure I didnt leave but no and no one came to me other teachers when I came back in a few classes later so she clearly didnt tell anyone.\n\nI cant help put feel im an asshole for getting up and leaving but I was FUMING after been called a disgrace and well while I was feeling not too bad anger and adrenaline still feels better so I let it go if I didnt leave I probably would have done damage to someone or something.\n\nI still feel sick in my stomach because I feel like an asshole but also if I wasnt feeling as well I could have been dead then.\n\n\nSorry for horrible formatting and lack of any sense im not well rn and on mobile ill try clarify in the comments if needed",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f0ea31aa2d344ef9a2385b2ecfa61b50",
|
||
"input": "Background Story:\n\nI have not worked for a long time (3 years) because of the mental problems I experienced at the time\n\nAnd lately the situation at home was not simple, and my relationship with my father was not always good\n\n​\n\nA few days ago, my uncle contacted me about the fact that he had to meet with me and talk to me about very important and urgent things (something unusual). I started to fear that the situation between the parents was not in the best condition, and I thought that maybe he was \"preparing the ground\" for something\n\nWhen I got to the meeting he said he had asked my father what was happening with me and if I had a driver's license My father replied, \"What are you talking about? He is not working for three years,\" and he decided to take me out of the situation I was in by arranging for me work and employment. (Which actually made me really angry about this whole thing) that he began to slip into very personal tracks that I think should not be asked by him but by my father (asked me about my sexuality, and if I was with a woman) And he also wanted to take me to an escort girl and get me a driver's license at his expense ... In short, he took me under his wing\n\nAnd he said it would please my father by making me happy too\n\n(My mental state in the recent period has improved and I feel that is already behind me and I am on my way to good things, and this irritated me even though it shows that my father does not know me and is not aware that the situation has improved)\n\nThe thing I was annoyed about was that my father was giving up trying to connect with me and / or help me in a certain way and the thing my dad might have sent him to get information about me instead of asking me directly",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-600a26de71914433814d981fef1d7e9d",
|
||
"input": "I try to teach my 5yo to knuckle himself he quits after just a couple seconds and says \"I can't\". So today when I told him to try and wouldn't I took the car seat out and brought it inside with him in it. I told him he will stay in it till he gets out himself. (Even though I will probably let him out after too long) He got the chest buckle without issue. He has been sitting for 10 mins whining and saying he can't undo the base buckle. I feel like I might be an asshole for how I am choosing to do this but shouldn't he know by now? I have watched late 3yos and 4yos get in and out of their seats without issue. At least I took him out of the car. I know my father would have left me in the car to figure it out. He opens the car door from the outside and inside without issue. He has basically destroyed a controller button mashing. He can control the backhoe attachments better than most adults I have seen. Am I the asshole for expecting this of him? Or for how I am going about it?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-767ac902ed524dd7a59492504da86dde",
|
||
"input": "My father and I have always had a strained relationship. I am the only child and my parents split when I was little, so it was normal for me to have two homes. I lived with my mum majority of the time and saw my father every second weekend.\n\nIt’s been going on for a while where I would plead with mum to not take me to my father’s house. I was 12 when I first asked to take me home instead because I didn’t want to go. There’s so many reasons to list why, but in summary; he picked on my weight - subtle digs here and there, roll his eyes whenever I said something and never made me feel appreciated or loved. I’ve never heard him say that he was proud of me despite my achievements. There’s so many more things to go on about, like how he didn’t come to important events in my life, like my 18th birthday, or how he would prevent my mum from swapping weekends around so I could spend time with family. \n\nMy father got into a relationship with his now fiancée 3 years ago. About 10 months ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. She underwent surgery and the cancer was removed. She’s in the process of radiation treatment now and is slowly getting better.\n\nLast time I saw them, we went into the city and it was fine. He made some horrible remarks about how much money he makes which made the day turn sour. Like I mentioned before, his fiancée is currently undergoing treatment for her cancer and so she has had to have some time off work up until recently. He made a ‘joke’ about how he “makes more money at home on the couch than she does at work” and how he has “been holding up this family.” This made me so angry because he has never provided for me and he was belittling his fiancée. My father never offered to pay for my books for high school or uniforms. My mother supported me to get to where I am now by herself. The only time he would pay for anything was when she begged him to. My mum is a single parent, who up to very recently had a small income that only went to the necessities and she really struggled with anything else. So, it’s fair to say that I didn’t see much support from him.\n\nI decided to stop speaking to him from that moment forward. I had removed him from Facebook and haven’t had any contact with him since I saw him in January. Monday just gone, I had gotten a phone call around 9:30pm from his fiancée. I was an emotional wreck, talking about my father the last few months has been a major trigger point for me and causes panic attacks and breakdowns. It’s not pretty. She told me that her cancer has a high likelihood of coming back and that she has a 6% chance of survival on the next 5 years.\n\nAfter that call, I was in hysterics. I had to explain to her why I didn’t want to see them because of my father and I was just told she may not be here in 5 years time. \n\ntl;dr: My father made my life hell, I cut him off, I found out my step mum has a small chance of living in the next 5 years after speaking to them for the first time in 2 months.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e549bfb9e51c47569229ab2535149283",
|
||
"input": "Long story short, went to a korean bbq in vegas. There were only like 4 other small tables (including us) and a large one. All you can eat korean bbq was $30 per person. Any leftovers will be charged. Asked for the menu after our 1st serving because she took it. Took a while to bring the menu and didn't even give it to us, just left it on the table next to us. I had to get up to go grab it. \n\nAte a few different kinds of meat and finished our side dishes. Server took forever to replace our side dishes (we had to ask). Took forever to refill my drink. After our 3rd plate of meat, we ordered one last plate. Server decided to bring a WHOLE plate and immediately threw it all on the grill. I was like wtf, we can't finish this and I wasn't about to be charged for not finishing that shit so I took it to the restroom and threw most of it in the trash.\n\nWent to pay in the front cashier. Total came up to 62.79 (two of us), payed with credit card. Service sucked for a place that wasnt even busy at all so I left a 2.21 tip to total it to 65 on the receipt. Cashier told me 'No, that tip is too little. We're not a buffet, we're a restaurant. You need to tip more.\" She pointed to the bottom of the receipt which had 3 gratuity tip amount from 11.00-13.00$. I looked at it and thought about it for a bit and told her \"No, I bought the ALL YOU CAN EAT KOREAN BBQ for 30$ per person. I'm not gonna give a tip based on the amount of the total. I'm gonna give the tip based on the service that was given to me and the service sucked\". She got mad and left angrily to seat the customers that was waiting behind us and we walked out. \n\nAITA for not tipping what the cashier wanted me to tip?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-05291f4d4a054e99b2b3b3f9ba2008e7",
|
||
"input": "I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months. But he wasn't always my boyfriend. When we started, *he* was actually *she.* I knew she was a bit tomboyish and had some dysphoria, but I didn't know it would be so far as to change their name and identity. I'm just not as attracted to this guy anymore. (for the record, I am bi with a large preference towards girls.) \n\nAnyway. My boyfriend, (let's call him Jack) was always really into me. He was a pretty good partner too. Always sweet and thoughtful and stuff. But as wonderful as he is, I've just not been as happy in the relationship. The transition might've had something to do with it, but I feel it's just mostly me. I'm just not feeling it anymore.\n\n This especially sucks because I know Jack has been having some serious mental health problems. His mother (also we're teens, forgot to mention that) has been borderline abusive, being completely against his transition and going as far as to slag him off sometimes, and his brother has been doing the same. His father lives elsewhere and has been having drinking/substance problems, and thus Jack's been feeling pretty abandoned. His school life is bad, he's falling back in his classes and some of his former friends have been incredibly toxic towards him. Basically he's pretty mentally unstable. (And he also goes to a therapist every week.) \n\nI'm worried if I break it off I'll push him over the edge. I know his mental state has apparently been improving thanks to our relationship and I don't want to see him regress, but I'm also just not happy at all. \n\nSo, would I be the asshole if I broke up with my poor, mentally and emotionally unstable, trans boyfriend? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9905676240464d2090f9f8bc3eb177af",
|
||
"input": "I went with my group of friends to eat some sushi the other week and, when we're finished, we decide to go for a walk together. As we're walking, this girl, which I'd never talked to during the whole lunch, walks to me telling me that she thought I dressed horribly. \n\"I'm not saying it to make you feel bad, I just want you to look better\"\nThis kinda pissed me off, so I half-jokingly told her that I didn't go outta my way to let her know I though her backpack was shit. She didn't take it too well and ignored me, and a coupla friends gave me weird looks.\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e4f83a14dc714250b6d663637f7acc25",
|
||
"input": "So my sister's running for miss world, and to vote for anyone in that website the voter has to spend 1$ per vote, giving away their CC information, and she just shared that website with everyone she knew to vote for her.\n\nThen i checked the website myself and with some research, what do you know the website is only 47 days old.\n\nI talked to her about sharing the link and how bad it would be if the website turned out to be a scam and she'd be associated with them for sharing the link, But as far as she's concerned \"Jane also shared the link in her facebook page and i need more votes\"\n\nSo i took an email from the original miss world website and asked if this 47 day old website is approved and legitimate. and she said that it is and they're just working with another company this year.\n\nBut the person that emailed me this turned out to be the person that recruited my sister, and when my sister found out she said i never should've done that and i totally ruined her picture by accusing them of fraud and blaming me for ruining 3 months of her life and her chance of winning something huge.\n\nAm i the asshole here for trying to protect my sister ?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b24baa0fa47d4b2fadc074550e968397",
|
||
"input": "I have a stressful relationship with my mother, it’s somewhat of a situation where I grew up being treated like her therapist through listening to her marriage issues, thinking it was cool I was “best friends with my mom.” She tends to guilt trip and results majorly to emotional manipulation tactics to make us all feel like shit instead of telling us what’s wrong.\n\nThat being said, she tells me way too much about other people.\n\nIf she hears something personal from a “friend” at work (I can’t tell if she hates everyone she’s “friends” with or not) she will tell me. It’s not my business, and it makes me incredibly angry. I’m talking things like her friend catching her very young daughter watching porn, she will tell me every detail. At this particular instance I asked her if her friend wants her going around telling people about this incident, and she didn’t have an answer beyond “well, I have to talk to SOMEONE.”\n\nShe blew up recently when she told me about a very close family member having an abortion that no one knew about. It doesn’t change my opinion of this family member, not at all, but it infuriates me that she was trusted with this secret and spouted it off to me. There was no reason for her to tell me or anyone else. I told her as such. I don’t want to hear things about other people that aren’t my business. She went on this whole rant about how she’s all alone, she has no one to talk to, and everyone hates her. \n\nClearly, her rant was a guilt trip, I’ve grown up with her emotional manipulation and it doesn’t affect me to an extent, but it has me wondering if I’m being an asshole for not letting her “rant” or whatever.\n\nBut is it wrong that I don’t want to hear stuff that wasn’t meant for my ears? I understand sometimes needing to talk to someone, but when she’s actually venting it’s usually about my dad, which isn’t something you go to your kid about, and it fucked me up when I was younger.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-07e5ea9a122c44418d4bc932517262cf",
|
||
"input": "I had a fight with my friend last Friday and long story short it ended up with me saying \"if this bothers you so much we don't have to be friends anymore\" that upset her and she said she would talk to me later and wanted to cool off before saying something she regretted.\n\nShe hasn't said anything to me yet since last week. I'm wondering if I should send her a msg saying something like \"hey, do you want to still be friends?? It's been a week\" sorta thing. This matters to me bc if she doesn't I want to delete her so from all my social media so I can start moving on.\n\nIs a week too short tho? Am impatient?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-369e986200d04b468da250af0185e21b",
|
||
"input": "For context, I am 5'4 and weigh 120 lbs. I think this was the highest weight I've ever had.\n\nI've had a past full of people telling me that no one would ever date an ugly person like me. I got more and more comments about my appearance, not weight-wise but facial things like scars, acne, my skin tone (I'm Indian brown even though majority of people around this city are Mexican), my face shape, etc. I had a very fast puberty, basically woke up in a similar form of a different body. I suspect the growth spurt started around 3rd grade as I got confused as to looking way older than I am. I have stretch marks, scars, acne, etc. The thing that started to trigger negative thoughts were the clothing I wore.\n\nMy parents get me sizes way more bigger than I am, and at first I thought it was because I was growing in height. I later found out that it was because they expected me to get fatter.\n\nThey made comments that I was lazy, I would get obese, I would end up in the hospital, they'd have to get XXXXL clothes for me one day, etc.\n\nThese added up with the comments that if I washed my face more I'd get light like my mom, if I washed my face more I wouldn't have this ugly face, etc.\n\nOn my 11th birthday I threw up the birthday food because I was upset about my weight. And the cycle slowly turned from Bulimia to Anorexia. Luckly, I managed to stop before I weighed less than 99 lbs.\n\nRecently thoughts of eating and my body has spiked to a low because I was petrified what I'd look like at my prom photos. I kept these thoughts secret as I thought I'd get over it.\n\nOne day my parents talked about how lazy I was and I'm gonna end up like this woman on TV (she was morbidly obese).\n\nI fucking broke down. I told them (everything I just said above) and if they wanted a thin daughter than don't give me food at all. Was ITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-622de073db534e5e80260d6a2b88fa77",
|
||
"input": "So recently it seems as if nothing I do or accomplish means anything to my gf. I recently underwent a procedure that she definitely knew about. We had talked about it a bunch. It wasn’t t anything serious but she hasn’t reached out at all. This is just one example. AITA for feeling hurt and unappreciated or am I overreacting? If I’m not how can I confront her without seeming like a pretentious prick?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ff049cd75fd9468994ff4a0c3c82a619",
|
||
"input": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months and we decided to live together for some time until he finds his own place. I’m afraid that living together and then also working at the same place is not going to work out ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-12a775d005d84949b7b34a3a83ef2ed9",
|
||
"input": "I live in a 3BR 1BA house with a couple. I have one bedroom, the couple has the master bedroom, and all other space (including the spare bedroom) is shared. I have 1 dog and they have 1 dog. I have a covered parking space on the property and they have an uncovered space. We agreed at move in to split rent $950 me, $1,250 them based on this.\n\nAfter moving in, the couple decided to have a baby (this was not discussed with me prior to moving in). They are taking over the spare bedroom for a nursery (72 SF of 2,200 SF of the house)\n\nThe couple only wants to reduce my rent by $50 for the additional space they’re using (this is less than the per SF cost of the guest room they are taking), and to make no rent changes due to the new baby. They argue that paying more rent on account of baby would be unfairly punitive to them, and that if I have anything major going on (like an exam to study for) they will try to take the baby out of the house so that I am not disturbed. I feel that I will regularly be disturbed (my bedroom shares a wall with nursery where the baby will sleep from age 6 mos. onwards), that this is a fundamental change to the occupants of the house/our living arrangement on which rent is based, and that my rent should be more significantly reduced because of this. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9c20dbf1e4424074b55a88d53e6e3034",
|
||
"input": "So, I met this girl from Berlin while playing a game of Counter Strike last year. We added each other to our friends lists and started talking almost every day for the next few months. We exchanged pictures (not nudes) and video chatted a little bit every now and then. Now this girl looked like an absolute 9/10. I started to fall for this girl’s personality and looks, also the fact she played my favourite game with me really helped. \n\nOver time one thing led to another and we started a long-distance relationship in early December. I booked a flight out to Berlin for the 17th until the 23rd to go meet the girl of my dreams. I was going to stay at her home, and she was going to pick me up from the airport.\n\nMy Dad took me to the airport and wished me good luck. Everything was normal that day, we had chatted all morning until I got on the plane. The wheels hit the ground at Berlin Schönefeld Airport, and I was ready. I get off the plane and text her to let her know I was here. I go through passport control and I'm stood outside the arrivals door knowing that the girl of my dreams is on the other side of that door, heart pounding, anxiety levels at maximum wondering if I'm going to be good enough for her. Nothing could have prepared me for what was through that door...\n\nI find the courage after a few minutes of calming myself down and I walk through the door. I look up and down the line of people, but she is nowhere to be seen. I start wondering if she had bailed last minute. All of a sudden, what I can only describe as the female version of an extremely obese Danny DeVito who had been hit in the face with a shovel comes waddling out of the crowd calling my name. My heart dropped and all I could do was smile and wave. The first things through my head were the fact that I would be having to live with this goblin for the next six days and make sure I don't break her heart because I needed somewhere to stay and a lift back to the airport. \n\nWe embrace in a hug as I devise my plan on how to make sure I don't completely destroy the mental stability of this already fragile girl. We go back to her house and she starts getting frisky. I don't like it, but if I don't go through with it, she will know something is wrong. Never in my life would I have thought, as a man, that I would have to fake an orgasm. \n\nI just have to grit my teeth and get through these six days then I can be back in the safety of my own home. Now obviously this girl was not the girl in her pictures. WRONG. She was, but she was an absolute professional at camera angles and lighting and somehow managed to maintain that perfect angle in all her photos and during our video calls. \n\nI got home and couple of days later I come up with some bullshit about how I can't deal with the stress of a long-distance relationship and that was my reason for breaking it off. She gets really mad at me, calling me an asshole and all that. \n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d52943ce7ed24b8b99a6e03e5c31ea93",
|
||
"input": "I've never considered myself high maintenance, but I may have to change that. Today, I had plans with my boyfriend to get lunch and go swimming. I didn't plan on going with him in the first place, but when I mentioned it last night, he wanted to go too. Well, today, he laid in bed until he had work at 3pm. \n\nI spent the night at his place and at noon, I told him I was leaving for lunch soon if he still wanted to come. 30 min later, he hadn't moved and I was leaving. He told me to text him when I was ready to go swimming because he still wanted to do that. Well, I finished lunch and texted him that I was ready to go at around one. After getting no response, I told him I was leaving and he could meet me there. \n\nHalfway there, I got a call from him saying that he was gonna stay home because he was worried about being late for work in two hours. (Context: from his house to the pool is about a 15-20 minute walk and he works 5 min away from his house). So I went by myself. \n\nHe asked if we could get dinner after he got off of work, but then at 7, informed me that he had to go to a meeting and asked me if I could wait. I told him I was hungry so if he wanted me to wait, he had to text me with a DEFINITE ending time for the meeting. (Our dining hall stops letting people in at 8:40pm.) At 8 I went to dinner by myself. No text or anything at all until he called me at 9:30 saying he was getting food from my favorite restaurant and offered to bring me some even though I already ate. \n\nObviously, I accepted, figuring this was his way of apologizing, so I met him at his place and we ate at 10. Well, he talked to me for a few minutes and then went to go play overwatch with his friends. He asked if it was ok first since I usually play with him too, but I didn't have my laptop. Of course I said it was ok, but he played for 2 and a half hours. He is a loud talker, but when he has headphones in he fucking yells so loud. At one point I managed to fall asleep despite the noise and he literally woke me up, said nothing, and went straight back to playing his game.\n\nEventually I told him I was gonna leave because we have class tomorrow, but he made me wait for his match to finish. Then took the longest goodbye. It wasn't sweet long, it was just him staring at me and standing in front of me so I couldn't leave.\n\nI wouldn't be upset if he'd just said he was busy or at the very least stopped making plans that he would inevitably cancel last minute. I'm getting more and more frustrated and I've mentioned it and he'll apologize, but nothing will change.\n\nTL;DR My boyfriend blew me off all day for some reasonable and some unreasonable things and I wanna know if I should be upset.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-74305a33997d430794f437e6b51ed7b4",
|
||
"input": "A friend of my boyfriend's older brother is working in Thailand at the moment and offered, that we could stay at her place. My bf (18) is just doing different internships, cause heute doesn't know what He wants to do and I(19) am working and don't have vacation until august. I suggested, we could go there together when I have vacation, but now he told me, he booked a flight in March to travel there. We got into a fight and Ich feel like shit for not supporting him, cause he is really looking forward to it.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-10f80d38491b4dce96de0ca25d9fb5c6",
|
||
"input": "My parents kicked me out of my house and discontinued their payments for my high school. My grandma paid the other half of my tuition. I went to the financial aid office at my school and asked for any financial help. They said they would definitely help, and would consider my options.\n\nMy grandma said she wish I hadn’t done it, and said the tuition isn’t my problem. I told her the office can’t talk to her since she’s neither a parent or guardian, so they have to talk to me. She got made at this.\n\nDid I make a mistake?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0b414cc485df4dfeb32b70eca8046755",
|
||
"input": "My co-worker recently had an appointment (did not disclose the type) at 12:30 and had taken their hour lunch break from 11:30 until 12:30.\n\nOnce the hour lunch break was over they left for their appointment in which they returned an hour later with no apologies or anything for leaving for an extra hour and pushing back my break until 1:30, as much as i want to excuse this for the fact they wanted a full lunch break, i had to ask why they went about it like this and they simply replied with \"i deserve my hour break\" (Which seems completly unfair considering other coworkers only get the hour and no more)\n\nAm I the asshole for questioning the way this appointment was handled in relation to their lunch break? As well as my attitude of fitting the appointment into the lunch break?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-aeef4a482024461799cb892a668cc894",
|
||
"input": "Backstory, she has a part time job where she works around 70ish hours every two weeks making about $14/ hour. \nShe always complains about not having enough money, to the point where we decided I would pay more of the rent than her because I make more. \nShe asks me to tell her what to do with her money because she says she bad with saving money and always over spends on thing. She never listens to me anyways so that doesn't matter. \n\nStory, her car kind of broke down so we budgeted $350 to pay for the mechanic. We don't have another car so he comes and picks her and I up because the cars done and we drive him back to the shop. She asked me for another $40 just in case earlier in the day, she already has $365, so I give it to her. When we get to the shop the mechanic says the total is $280 so instead of giving him the 280 or the 350 originally budgeted she gives him the entire $415 she had. On the way home I get mad at her for giving away money she doesn't have, she says I don't know shit and it would've been more at another mechanic. I tell her she obviously doesn't know shit either because she doesn't have the money to just be giving it away. \n\nSo she dropped me off at home and she's driving around because shes mad at me for getting mad at her and now I just got a text from her saying I was being disrespectful and she doesn't want to be with me if I'm going to act like that. \n\nI don't feel like I did anything wrong but what do you guys think? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-02dac14e9fa64f8b93e348683bccbfbe",
|
||
"input": "Hey guys so am i the ass hole for not wanting to communicate with my grand parents? My dad died when i was four years old and since then they have been in and out of my life but mostly out of it. In elementary school they made contact with me in 4th grade and would eat lunch with me without my moms permission or knowledge and while they never directly told me not to tell my mom, when i eventually did it was abundantly obvious what they did was not cool. Later the next year (i dont know why) my mom let me go to there house and church stuff and see a movie but later that year they basically didnt communicate with me for years except for the sporadic birthday card. In short they have been mostly not in my life and i have no emotional connection to them beyond some guilt for not wanting to talk to them. My grandfather recently had a brain bleed and almost died and since then they have been trying to communicate with me more now. Not to mention i have an amazing relationship with my grand parents on my moms side specifically my moms dad who has basically been a father figure my whole life. So am i the ass hole for just not wanting anything to do with them?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e865c343c77b48158ce2555975f0cdcc",
|
||
"input": " Me and my spouse have been living together for six years and both have worked/ been in school full time up until September when she got a job as a supply teacher. Being a supply teacher means her work is not always consistent, if she doesn’t get a call that day she doesn’t work. Last week for instance she only worked one shift and the week before she worked three. I work full time, 40-50 hours a week as well as about 2-5 hours of work at home. \n\nWe have always split household chores 50/50. It only seemed fair considering we both worked an equal amount. I thought it would make sense that since I’m working sometimes 35 hours more a week than her that she would do more around the house, however, she is still expecting us to split 50/50. \n\nI have come home from work multiple times since September to the house being a mess (no vacuuming done, laundry to do/ fold, garbage not taken out, dinner not started etc.). She told me that she was waiting for me to get home so we could tag team things, even though she spent all day binge watching a show on Netflix. I didn’t complain and helped her out doing half the work. \n\nI finally sat her down last week and asked her if she could do more around the house considering I am putting more hours in at work and she is home far more than me. She got really emotional and said I was accusing her of being lazy and not contributing enough. Since this conversation, not much had changed. So I snapped last night. \n\nI get home from work late after a hellish day. She had a friend over all day and they were baking and hanging out. She says to me when I get in “I already hand washed three rounds of dishes so I have met my quota for the next few days”. I got really mad and told her that I shouldn’t have to clean the dishes nor should I have to do nearly as much as I have been doing around the house. I work way more than her and the least she could do is tidy up and keep our home from looking like a shit hole. I don’t think that’s too much to ask! We have kept to ourselves all day today and she is clearly furious with me. And tbh I’m not pleased with her either. This has nothing to do with gender, as we are both female, it simply comes down to me currently working more than her. \n\nSo, AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4da9a03c59764922aedeabf644256e40",
|
||
"input": "Before him, I had never really been treated with love and respect in a relationship. He made me feel loved and cared for and now it's not doing anything for me and I feel like I need more. AITA for wanting to leave him?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-821ed55b907f4af3b9382216ae7c3f54",
|
||
"input": "For context, I work at a company with about 80 employees, and a coworker is planning an overnight white-water rafting trip that's first-come-first-serve with spots for about 24 people (invite is extended to all coworkers and their plus ones).\n\n​\n\nI was really looking forward to attending the trip (and initially RSVP'd yes) prior to hearing that our plus ones were invited (I really like hanging out with my coworkers!). When I first heard about the trip, I told my spouse I had planned on attending. The first thing they asked me was if plus ones were invited. I told them I wasn't sure, but I'd let them know when I found out.\n\n​\n\nFast forward three weeks later and I now know plus ones are invited. I just revoked my RSVP and I feel like I'm going to crush my spouse's feelings for doing so, since it seemed like they wanted to come on this trip (it was the first thing they brought up when I told them about the trip).\n\n​\n\nI don't want to attend the trip without my spouse if other SOs are invited, because my spouse may think I'm excluding them for bad reasons (e.g., they're going to think I don't want to hang out with them, or I want to be away from them, etc.). I went on an overnight trip with my coworkers from a previous company two years ago and my spouse was having some trust-issues regarding a certain coworker who I'm good friends with, and I don't want him to have these issues again with my new set of coworkers, so I'd rather just have none of us attend.\n\n​\n\nMy thought-process / reasoning below:\n\n​\n\n\\*\\*I'd feel bad if my spouse took a spot that a coworker could have taken\\*\\*. I know, I know, other people are inviting their SOs so I shouldn't feel bad, but all of the other plus ones being invited are people that we (coworkers) know. They come out to our company's happy hours, holiday parties, etc. Even though I've been at the company longer than a lot of the people inviting their spouses, not many people coming on the trip have ever met my spouse. My spouse doesn't attend our events mainly due to noise-anxiety (tinnitus-related) & the fact that we live a bit farther from the office than the others (30-40 minute drive).\n\n​\n\nIf my spouse knew the rest of my coworkers, I would feel comfortable bringing them along. Yes, this would be a great opportunity for them to get to meet my coworkers, but it's also a trip with a limited number of spots. Our happy hours and events happen frequently, do not have a guest-capacity, and some (the monthly ones) are tolerable as far as noise-anxiety and loudness are concerned (according to my spouse).\n\n​\n\n\\*\\*I'm also afraid of putting my spouse into an uncomfortable position regarding tinnitus and sleeping\\*\\*. This is less of a concern because my spouse is an adult and clearly if they knew there was a risk they wouldn't attend the trip, but I still can't help but worry a bit. My spouse struggles to sleep at night due to their tinnitus. They often sit in the kitchen with the faucet running in order to fall asleep. My spouse wouldn't have that option in a shared cabin with coworkers. They've struggled with sleeping on overnight trips in the past and it would be difficult if they felt trapped on this overnight trip that's about 4 hours away from home.\n\n​\n\n\\*\\*TL;DR- My spouse was looking forward to attending an overnight trip with myself, my coworkers, and their SOs. WIBTA if I decide that neither of us will be attending the trip?\\*\\*\n\n​\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-609fcbc29dde45229bd738e1fa385388",
|
||
"input": "Alright. This is quite a simple AITA. But still, I’m confused. Went out for an office holiday dinner/night out. I told my wife that me and my workers are having dinner out and going to go back to my manager’s condo unit to get drinks afterwards. My manager lives in the same condo as I do so it’s pretty much a convenience. When we went for dinner, my manager said that he wasn’t able to tidy up his condo unit hence we had to get drinks elsewhere. We went some place nearby (something like 5-8km away from the condo) to get drinks. My wife asks me where I was and told her what the change of plans had been. All of a sudden, she berates me about being unfair and being a liar. \n\nSo, AITA for doing this? I didn’t go home late though so I thought everything would be fine.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f066ceb2ded64ce888c16b58aa34fc13",
|
||
"input": "I'm in charge organizing a biweekly board game night for our department. My \\[friend\\] wanted to organize a video/board game event, and the time slot I have is super convenient for this sort of thing. This \\[friend\\] reached out to me asking to combine the two events at some point in the future to both help get the word out about his event and to get this convenient time slot. I agreed, and even offered to bring some department-owned board games usually used for my board game night and my personal switch to the event to help with supplies.\n\n​\n\nA couple of days later, my \\[friend\\] informs me that his event was filling up, changes the time of his event to start and end earlier than my board game night usually does, and indicated that I should probably still hold my regular board game night to help with demand. I'm totally fine with this, and just point out that I will have to leave his event early with a couple of the department board games for my board game night. I say that I specifically will be bringing back a game (Codenames), since it has been popular at my game night in the past.\n\n​\n\nFast forward to two days before \\[friend\\]'s event. I check that everything is still going forward. \\[friend\\] says I didn't fill out an RSVP form, his event is totally full, and so I probably can't come. (Aside: I saw the RSVP form but didn't respond, since I figured I was automatically on the list due to my participation. I didn't clarify this, but should have). I say fine, but I was still planning to come to bring the games and my switch. \\[friend\\] says he will bring his own stuff and leave department games alone (indicating that I'm no longer invited? I should have asked explicitly, but that's certainly how I felt). People later ask if I'm going to \\[friend\\]'s event because I'm the game person, and I say I was 'uninvited'. Because we're both super busy, we don't have more chance to talk about this after this somewhat frosty exchange.\n\n​\n\nOn the night of the event, I don't attend (of course), and go to pick up department games for my board game night. Codenames, which I specifically pointed out I wanted, was not there. \\[friend\\] isn't responding, and I didn't have time to go retrieve it from his event before my board game night starts. Codenames is immediately requested, but I have no way to get it, so we make do with other games. \\[friend\\] comes by our board game night much later carrying Codenames and a couple of other games. Other friends ask how \\[friend\\]'s event went, when I chime in that I specifically wanted Codenames, essentially calling him out right then and there. \n\n​\n\nOther friends weren't impressed with my comments about Codenames and being 'uninvited'. I'm still annoyed with \\[friend\\] for what I see as a poorly managed event and leaving me out of the loop, but get that my communication could have been better. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-14411724b784463ca0cb4092bac1db43",
|
||
"input": "I'm a student and work part time. I often have homework after school and there are other things for me to do. He works less than 40 hours a week and doesn't go to school and refuses to go by himself. We decide on what we want beforehand so it's not like he doesn't have any ideas. When hes at home he sits and plays games or watches TV. Am I an asshole for saying he can go by himself?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1e5fca78997b4630953b98637c35c17b",
|
||
"input": "So for the past 6 years I have been best friends with this girl. We were extremely close and touchy but always platonic. I was attracted to her to an extent but valued our friendship way too much to try anything. She began dating this guy long distance and around 4 months later we started hooking up. Basically every time we did we both were drunk after a party. We never talked about it and we never told anyone. Until one time I left her neck covered in hikeys(idk how you spell that) . Keep in mind I have never given a hikey before and had no idea how I did. She was forced to tell one of our close friends and it got weird. But the weirdest part was that she still would pretend like it never happened. Now it’s been 2 years and she has told her bf who she is still dating and we are still very close but I can tell we are continuing to drift. She seems to think that this is my fault and I should respect her choice to pretend it never happened and never speak on it again. I want to talk about so we can finally get over it as I feel like it’s still there,hindering our friendship. Am I the asshole in this situation? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5cd8f4fe363f4293949f485225bca27a",
|
||
"input": "Afew days ago I went to my local Healthcare Center and had an appointment with my family doctor. I went there because I have Tonsillitis and it reached the point where I have a sore throat and high fevers. I talked about it and asked if I could take any medication to help or if I had to have my tonsils removed. After that I asked if he could write up a note since that day I missed school for that appointment and it's procedure to justify in case a patient is missing work or school. He, insted of helping me, started insulting me saying I always go there and waste his time on useless crap and claimed I was a brat that I couldn't do anything on my own. (To clarify, I'm 17. I mark my own appointments and go there by myself. I only go if I have a pain that goes over a week, or if I have a strong pain and if I have a fever thats 39°C or high. It's a 30 minute walk and I always go by myself. I even by my own medication). He proceded then to ask me to leave his office. I was completly shocked. I knew he was rude, really rude. To the point where his other patients would tell me if he was in a good mood or not. When I got home I told my mom about it. My mom is the type of mom that doesn't make complaints even if it was justified. That day she told me to file a complaint against him in the Healthcare Center. I was thinking about it. I talked to mt boyfriend about it to get a second opinion on the matter, and he reminded me of something I tend to forget about my family doctor. He's the boss in my local Healthcare Center. My boyfriend then explained that maybe he's rude because he's stressed. Thinking about it made me feel like an asshole for wanting to file a complaint. I'm still torn over it. No one tells me directly it I'm an asshole, but I've had people say something in the lines of \"It it was me, I'd do this, not what you want to do since that seems more logical.\"\n\nSo, WIBTA if I actually filed a complaint about him?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-aeba2ab96a00422684393ffe79cf97f2",
|
||
"input": "My husband and I have one rule: do not kiss our one month old baby. We don’t care how else my parents want to play with him, but with many people having herpes in the family we do not want anyone kissing his face. My father kissed my baby on the cheek this afternoon, and I kind of blew up. Am I the asshole for getting upset with my dad about this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-228710797f9248b288567544ce12be5a",
|
||
"input": "So, I live in a fairly nice/expensive apartment complex in a good area. I get along really well with the neighbor in question 99% of the time. For the last week, he’s been leaving his trash bags out on his porch instead of walking them to the dumpster like a normal person. I know it’s not a huge deal, but it’s a big pet peeve of mine. WIBTA if I left an anonymous note that just said something like “hi, please remember to take your trash to the dumpster!”? \n\nI feel like maybe I’m overreacting, but SERIOUSLY, I just hate walking by and seeing trash bags. This is a nice complex. Forgive me, but I think that’s pretty.........trashy. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-80f3720bedd840a795bbaf3b558e203a",
|
||
"input": "I've been a High School English III teacher for a few years and haven't had any problems until this year. I have my classes do a project called Poetry Out Loud right before the holiday break. The whole thing is about memorizing a poem with 30+ lines and reciting it with emotion after around two months of preparation. This is done to help them with public speaking. So during one of my classes, three girls all recited the same poem. They all did great, but one of them didn't fill the room with her voice. The final scores were 98%, 98%, and 93%. After entering their scores in my online grade book, the girl with the lower score came to me and asked why she got a lower score. I explained to her that her voice wasn't commanding and didn't fill the room. That apparently wasn't good enough of an answer and she kept pushing. I told her that she got an A so she shouldn't be complaining. She then preceded to cry and run out of my class (this was during the lunch break, so she wasn't being disruptive). Was I the asshole, or was the girl overdramatic?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-37806cf64fe04b0f8b56c35d2edc95a3",
|
||
"input": "TL;DR, won an award for a project, was listed in am email and on the prize site as $1000 but got $666. Want to email to confirm amount. \n\nHello, first time posting and I'm on mobile, etc. Anyways...\n\nFor a post-graduate certificate, I had to do a major research project. We put in a lot of work, and we ended up with one of the, if not the, highest marks in class. I'm not trying to brag, but it was a massive endeavour and I was glad when it was done. \n\nFast forward 6 months, and I receive an ail from the school saying that I had won an award for our major research project, donated by a prominent market research firm in the area. It looked a little sketchy (wasn't formatted correctly, things looked out of place, etc), so I emailed back and did some googling. I verified it with the awards coordinator, and on the school site. Both the awards coordinator and the school site listed the prize amount as $1000. \n\nAgain fast forward to the awards ceremony. Huge plaque, lots of handshaking, I thank the donors, etc. I check the cheque when I get home and it's $666, not $1000. I know this is a total money grab, and it's not even that much, but it just seems very strange. \n\nWIBTA for checking that this amount is correct? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b816baea0baf483aa09f573a2b65ed33",
|
||
"input": "So, I am 16 and my cousin is about 12. About a year or so ago we used to play a lot of TF2 and Minecraft together via Discord, but at some point the other things in life got in my way, and I just felt too tired to talk to him in general most of the time. He has much more energy than I do, it seems, and so is much more eager to play together when I'd rather just play Rocket League or Minecraft in single player and relax with some hot cocoa. \n\nHe spammed me a lot at some point, sometimes even called me on my phone, so I ended up setting my Discord status to \"invisible\" so he wouldn't see that I was online. \n\nThis friday he called me again on my way back from the choir, and I thought \"well it won't take a piece out of me to play with him once in three months\" so... we played some TF2 and Minecraft together. I have to say, it was pretty fun for a bit before I started getting a headache. I told him I'd download War Thunder on my desktop and then we can play it sometime. However, I forgot to download the game and just did not feel like talking to him in general.\n\nToday he started spamming me again while I was playing some singleplayer Rocket League, and when I told him that I was too tired right now and that I have a hard school day tomorrow(Actually true) he pretty much went \"who cares\". \n\nI really don't have anything against him, but he is kind of not nice sometimes, I'm trans and he knows it, yet he keeps calling me by the name I don't want to be called by, he is really annoying at times, and I get this is all part of being a 12 year old, but I'd just prefer to play with someone older and a bit more mature. AITA here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5af13d422b8d41f6bee8c86400589fbb",
|
||
"input": "So for an assignment I got paired up with this girl, shes alright. We basically laid out a bunch of crap we had to do and agreed to just allocate yourself on what you want to do.\n\n​\n\nAnyways, come a week later when I decide to start working on the assignment, I found out she did EVERYTHING. She took all the work, and now shes super pissed because I didn't do any work.\n\n​\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-136efd2d8c104d39bfd422fd7c1fdbd0",
|
||
"input": "One od my loved ones (LO) likes knives. This LO practices hand drills, with the knives, to develop dexterity. The dexterity is appreciated. However, I've requested, more than once, that these drills not be done in the kitchen or dining room using the kitchen knives or table knives whilst we are talking. I want this LO to be aware that the practice of knife handling, while conversing, could be construed as menacing if done in front of someone not in the immediate family. Today's reminder did not sit well with LO. Voices were raised somewhat. The conversation ended with \"My kitchen, my rules.\" AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-20b1a2c51cdd4d06a9d4daca2847576c",
|
||
"input": "I'm currently running for a local office. This is my first time, so I don't have any name recognition or big money. So, I'm getting out to as many events as I can, trying to build that reputation and meet as many people as possible.\n\nLast night, I was at an event, trying to network. I was very much doing hit-and-run conversations where I would say hello to someone, ask how they are, talk a bit about my campaign (and theirs, if they're a candidate), and then excuse myself to talk to someone else.\n\nAt one point, a friend of mine cornered me. I've known this woman for many years, and have nothing but nice things to say about her. \n\nNormally, I wouldn't mind talking to her at all. However, this time, she wanted to get deep into a discussion about zoning along bus lines. Every time I tried to end the conversation, she would continue talking as if I hadn't. At one point, she was actually holding my jacket sleeve to prevent me from walking away. All in all, we wound up talking for about twenty minutes of a two-hour event.\n\nFinally, I was able to wave another friend over and pull a, \"Have you met *person?*\" and then somewhat gracefully excuse myself.\n\nThis morning, my friend who had been bending my ear sent me a text message tell me that it was rude of me to \"hand [her] off\" and \"ditch\" her last night. I feel like it was rude of *her* to monopolize my time at en event where networking and socializing is expected. But, I'd appreciate some outside perspective.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d2fd920d6f8a416b95447375194f92d3",
|
||
"input": "So, backstory. I work Security and have for about two years now. At one of our sites, I'll refer to as S, I was there for about 8 months before the contract got sold to another company and I went to another site. Fast forward 4 months, I quit and went to the company that got site S. \n\nOne of the first people I met was a former, now current, coworker. He works 1st shift, I work 2nd shift. 1st shift is a nightmare mess anyway, but yeah. \n\nI am a bit of a workaholic, and in my second and third week, I've taken on 36 hours of Overtime, my gf moved to another state for school, and it's just me and the cat, so I spend a lot of time working, simply because it's a better use of my time (college is in the works but I am in a bit of debt by biting off an apartment more than we could chew and I will be moving, but I gotta stockpile cash) than sitting around playing video games or whatever. The coworker, referred to as W, only works 25.5 hours a week. \n\nI come in today, and my supervisor comes in very soon after, because he was checking in on the building. As soon as he comes in, he asks me why I've been late every day since I started. \n\nWell, this strikes me as odd, and my coworker for my shift backs me up, saying I've never been late working 2nd shift. In fact, the only time I was late, I made certain to call and let the supervisor for that shift know I was running behind schedule. \n\nSupervisor then tells me \"Well, W on first shift calls me every day and blows the supervisor phone up complaining that you're always late.\"\n\nSo now I plan on making certain to show up early, and make sure that everything has been done to a perfect T, and should anyone leave even a second before their scheduled time, I'm reporting them for abandoning post, as I have not started my shift, and will not be held responsible for their carelessness, while simultaneously dragging my name through the mud. \n\nWould this make me the asshole, considering I will be as nitpicky as humanly possible, to the smallest detail? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a668aefaa5d847b9a101f3f1d21ebacb",
|
||
"input": "So this happened a really long time ago. I must have been 17 at the time, and I'm 29 now, but sometimes when I try to go to sleep this situation still bothers me. \n\nFlashback to when I was about 17, a friend I knew middle school sent me a message on Myspace, or something like that. She had moved about 8 hours away, but said she was coming back to my home town for a little bit and wanted to hook up. Nearly all of her messages were sexual from the start. Being single, I figured \"why not\". We dated for a few weeks in middle school, but I figured we were past that since it was kid shit anyway. Given her approach, I figured it was going to be a no-strings-attached kind of thing, since she was just visiting.\n\nShe gets here, we meet up and hook up for a couple nights. I tell her I was kinda dumb for breaking up with her in middle school, since that decision was mostly made based on the opinions of my friends at the time. I was in no way saying I wanted a relationship with her then, just kind of reflecting on how stupid I was when I was 13. \n\nSo messages me on AIM when she's supposed to go back to where she lived. She asks me where we are at, and I just say,\"What do you mean? You're going back to (place where she lives) and I'm gonna be here. I thought you just wanted to hook up, and I don't wanna be in a long distance relationship.\"\n\nIt's kinda hazey, but I think she said she was moving back to my home town and was expecting that we would be together based on the fact that we hooked up. I told her it was a misunderstanding, and that I didn't wanna be in a relationship, and then I get mutual friends calling me and saying she's crying and that I'm an asshole.\n\nIf you ask me, she tried to manipulate me into being in a relationship with her, but I still kinda feel like an asshole.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ef87415741d44af3af3f0f33df9fb9b2",
|
||
"input": "I'm not trying to be r/iamverysmart but, I've always been above average with academics, namely math and science. my older sister always disliked that and came up with excuses about why I was ahead of her when I'm a year younger.\n\nWhen I was in year 10 we tried more difficult math as I wasn't learning and she wanted to get ahead. I moved up two year levels from year 9 to year 11 (level one) and she moved up one year 10 to 11 in math 2 years ago, ahead of her, then she stopped competing over math, and at the end of last year dropped back a year to do calculus, as originally she'd gone into statistics (I was in calculus so we didn't worry about class over lap). All was good until this year I joked about visiting her physics class to confuse the teacher. She didn't know it was a joke, she wasn't listening fully, got really serious and said \"**Don't.**\" after I told her it was a joke she relaxed a bit and I laughed it off. She said it some more times over the next couple days about not doing physics, at that point I had no intention on doing it.\n\nRight now I'm in 13 calculus (level three) I'm ahead of the year 13's and working on my own thing, my year 12 calculus teacher came up one day said I should move into year 12 physics (level two), I dismissed it because of my sister but wanted to do it. The next day I had my second science lesson, the first one was boring. I found out it would be recap for at least half a term and probably more, I just felt constrained. I thought about moving up to level two physics and possibly level two chemistry. That evening on the way home I casually mentioned moving up in science, my mum was immediately hooked and started sorting out the details with me. Up until this point I hadn't seriously thought about moving up, just some maybes in my mind. My mum sorted out the class changes and I got moved up into the subjects (my mum is a teacher) and it turned out there's only one physics class and one chemistry class so I'm in two of her classes. I attended one physics lesson when my sister was sick and that's all I've had.\n\nToday I went with her to her job interview to calm her a bit she was thankful. When we got home, because I thought she would take it better when she was happy with me, I just out right told her. I didn't want to just show up one day in her class. Now she's furious with me and I don't know what to do. I don't want to make her sad, but I didn't do this to piss her off, so I'm kind of annoyed she got upset. Am I the Asshole?\n\n​\n\nTL;DR: My one year older sister really didn't want me to move into her science classes and told me repeatedly not to after I joked about it, but my classes weren't teaching me anything and I felt restrained with learning, so I did. I ended up with her in two classes, she's now furious and I don't know if I'm in the wrong.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c88944b476b946f7a567799738a653dc",
|
||
"input": " \n\nOkay. Bit of a long one, so bear with me. \nEdited to be SFW.\n\nTL;DR at the bottom.\n\nI'm a native English speaker, and this is written VIA computer. I seriously apologize for mistakes, and would like to be corrected as it improves how I text/write.\n\nThis all happened over Discord roughly a year ago. The reason I remembered it was because my main PC was brought back to life, and I found a lot of old screenshots.\n\nFor context, I used to be super into Homestuck. I met some people on Shamchat (random server/chat website that went down recently) two years ago.\n\nI met Sky, L, and C. Later I would meet K, a friend of Sky; as well as M, a friend of L.\n\nC and I started dating, though she broke up with me and had turned out to be cheating on me. Incredibly emotionally manipulative. Constantly trying to get me to be smutty, forced me to stay on the phone with her for 4-6 hours daily. If I didn't, she would threaten to be.. for lack of better words, bad to herself. \n\nI did nothing to her, and she is not the focus of the story.\n\nL and I instantly stuck together like glue afterwards. We were absolute best friends. Talked daily, super nice.\n\nSky introduced K shortly before Sky was kicked from our friendship.\n\nL and I are still stuck together, and I started developing slight feelings for her.\n\nMonths later. K confesses that they're kinda/sorta into me. M then tells me that it absolutely crushed L as she was also into me.\n\nK and I dated for half a month before Laura started to drive a wedge between us. Saying that I knew she was into me, and I went to date K anyways.\n\nShe continued to act like it was new, even a year later.\n\nThe last contact I had with L was back in October.\n\nLast summer, she happened to be in one of K's servers and I just happened to be around. She was complaining about how her current girlfriend was out getting high, and L was sure she was cheating on her.\n\nWhen I offered comfort, she exploded on me. Saying I ruined her love life and that I was horrible to her constantly. I felt disgusted by it for a week before I told K, and he let it simmer until I claimed it really bothered me, instantaneously deleting all of her hate and banning her.\n\nShe attempted to shoot me a friend request in October, in which I politely told her to screw off.\n\nLooking back on old messages, I don't think I'm in the wrong. But I'd like a slight public opinion.\n\nI was considering contacting her again, but M strongly goes against it. I agreed with her, and think it'll stay that way.\n\nI have some of this saved in screenshots, and most of it in the content I never deleted. However, all of our mutual servers are now dead and gone, so there's no way I can retrieve anything from there.\n\nIs it really my fault or did she just overreact?\n\nTL;DR - Girl I was into turned out to be into me, calls me a bitch when I date someone else even though \"I knew\" about her being into me.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a9eefb345c634ff094defd676b795715",
|
||
"input": "There's this girl I chat with online sometimes. We're not close or anything, we just talk occasionally, and overall, she's really nice. \n\nShe knows I'm an atheist, but almost every time we talk, she says stuff like \"God bless you\" or \"I'll pray for you\" or even something like \"Hopefully you'll find Jesus soon!\"\n\nShe has good intentions, I guess, but it just bugs me that she keeps saying this stuff when she is fully aware that I'm not religious. The way I see it, if she wants to pray for me, she can do that without having to let me know every time we speak to each other. It feels like she's just disrespecting my beliefs (or rather, lack thereof.)\n\nSo, WIBTA for asking her to stop, or am I just getting upset over nothing?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9b9023c9621443858b649262590846e9",
|
||
"input": "I met a nice person online randomly while playing a game. We hit if off and starting online gaming together regularly. You could say a friendship starting developing. \n\nHowever, after a few weeks red flags started showing up. This person started acting like we were best friends. \n\nThey wanting support after a “hard day”, making passive aggressive comments if I didn’t get online when he wanted me to, making comments about me playing with other people more than him, etc. \n\nAs such, this behavior is making me uncomfortable and I’ve started distancing myself. Ignoring messages, hiding my online status, etc. \n\nThis person is nice, but they turned a casual online gaming thing into a “be my best friend” thing. \n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0bf44724f555472ca0b960a45d976058",
|
||
"input": "(Sorry for the accidental deletion)\n\n \n\nMy girlfriend and i had a long conversation on the phone, and i had to go. She was upset that i had to go so after i said \"I love you\" she said \"Thanks, bye\" and hung up the phone.\n\nI was not happy about this.\n\nShe called me again and called me rude, and i said she was the one being rude, and i'm pissed.\n\nShe hung up right after that.\n\na few minutes pass, and i message her telling her why i was upset.\n\nShe replied telling me to go to hell and not to message her.\n\nAm I in the wrong here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-310fd5f5fb804e15aa2ca5fe1fe67200",
|
||
"input": " \n\nAs a bit of background, my girlfriend and I have been dating for \\~2.5 years, and she has always been pretty insecure of her body – to the point where to took months for her to let me see her fully naked. I've always been very understanding and supportive of that, going out of my way to make her feel beautiful and comfortable in her skin and recently we even started showering together! \n\n​\n\nHowever, about 4 months ago she got an IUD. Was totally on board, and regardless it's her body and thus her decision. Since then though, there's been two issues that I have not mentioned in hopes that they would either go away naturally or she might notice herself. Firstly, she has been spotting a LOT. Like every single time we have sex now I feel as if I am literally murderin' dat pussy. I'm probably in the minority here but I'm not particularly a big fan of blood in general and still have mental scars from an incident of going down on a girl on her period unknowingly. That's the lesser of the two issues though. She has also started to smell progressively worse down there ever since the IUD, to the point that I can often smell her outside her pants if I get too close and smells kind of like B.O mixed with urine – not exactly appealing. I do have a pretty sensitive sense of smell, but it's blatantly obvious now and shocking to me that she hasn't noticed. \n\n​\n\nAnyway last night she asked me why I haven't been going down on her lately and I felt as if I had to be honest with her about it. I made it known it wasn't towards her personally, placed the blame on the IUD and how I've noticed it only since then, and tried to play it off like it wasn't as big of a deal as I've actually been finding it. She was still extremely hurt and instantly went to the shower where I heard her crying. I felt like absolute shit for the rest of the night and was thinking I just shouldn't have said anything. This morning I heard her make an appointment to get the IUD removed. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-aafdfe97798c44feaa4dd33109255ede",
|
||
"input": "A friend of mine from New England is coming to visit me in Florida in about a week. He’ll be here for 5 days (Friday morning through Tuesday evening), most of which we plan to spend together catching up and hanging out. He’s expressed that I’m the main reason he’s coming to visit, and that he’d like to spend as much time with me as possible while here. A few of the days he’s visiting I’ll have to work, and I set aside about 2 hours every day for a work out. He’s aware of both of these limitations and has told me he’s ok with them. What I’m wondering, though, is whether or not I would be an asshole if I cut into the potential time we could have to hang out in order to go on a date with a guy I’m seeing. We’ve been dating for about 3 months and it’s going pretty well. Lately, though, we haven’t had much of a chance to see one another due to work, sickness, and the holidays. We are planning to get together before my friend visits. However, due to my friend’s visit we won’t be able to see each other for another 2 weeks in between our upcoming date and the next date. I’d like to avoid this, because I really want to get to know this guy I’m seeing better and another 2 week break isn’t exactly great for a budding relationship, but I also don’t want to be an asshole to my friend who is traveling a long way to visit me. To clarify, if I did decide to meet up with the guy I’m seeing, it would likely be in the evening for a few hours, 4 tops. Would I be an asshole if I saw him while my friend is visiting me? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dcc372ec62204281af59573d8cd10fbd",
|
||
"input": "So I found a great chocolate-chip cookie recipe and I have a special event on monday where we bring homemade cookies and give them away to people on the streets for free as a tribute for a deceased teen who enjoyed baking and sweet things.\n\nSo I made one batch for that and another batch that I split in half.\n\n10 cookies as a gift for my grandmother's birthday, 10 others for my classmates because they saved me from suicide and that is my gift to them for it.\n\nI made the whole thing myself(I'm 14 btw) and didn't intend on eating them. \n\nSo I put both batches (after they were done) into two different plates and wrapped them so they could cool down outside.\n\n​\n\nThat really pissed off my mom and dad and they started saying:\n\n\"Why don't we get anything? Do we not deserve them?\"\n\nMe: They are meant to bring to school and the other's are gifts\n\nMom: \"Gtfo of here, you ungrateful child\"\n\nDid I do something wrong? I know it's a little stupid to leave them out but our fridge is too full and they don't fit.\n\nI spent 2.5 hours making those cookies because it took me a while to get the recipe right.\n\nI just didn't want to spend more time in our small ktchen where everyone always bothers me and moves my shit for no reason.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d51449efaca24f78afb7fb134b9bc3da",
|
||
"input": "Hello again Reddit this an an update to another post here’s the [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/arn6l3/aita_for_telling_a_gay_person_to_leave_me_the/?st=JSDPDXXH&sh=b1f70388)\n\nNow let’s get to the meat and potatoes. So today after school I confronted Dave. I walked up to him when he was alone and said in a calm and collected manner “Hey, I’m sorry for swearing at you but what you did was wrong I was surprised and I hope you can understand why I did it”. He follows up with a “Oh, it was just a joke you stupid homophobic N-Word” ( I’m black btw). I walked away without saying anything with him laughing in the background. \n\nSo I then went to the administration of my grade and told them about the issue. They had my friends as victims as well along with some witnesses. I asked them what will happen to him and they said he will most likely get suspended. \n\nSo Reddit AITA again???\n\nThanks Reddit for the support on my original post!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-857139ca4e3c4b10823c60b2dc14cc68",
|
||
"input": "I recently moved in with my boyfriend and his three roommates. I pay less than them in utilities and rent, but I do a bulk of the grocery shopping and cooking (they throw in a little money for the shopping, and I make dinner for everyone 3-4 times a week). I also end up cleaning quite a bit. What irritates me most is the dishes. Every single day the dishes are piled up in the sink when I get home from work. It’s like they use a new glass for every refill. After a few weeks of this I’m annoyed and not taking care of it everyday anymore. I almost want to stop all together just to see how long it will take for someone else to pick up a sponge. I’ve mentioned it to my boyfriend, and he sat down with everyone and said that all four of them need to do more, and they agreed, but nothing has changed since then. I’m at the point where I don’t even want to make dinner or shop for the household if this continues. AITA for considering telling everyone to fend for themselves if they can’t be bothered to help out even though I pay the least in bills?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fb9bbb3bcbb24ceeb5270d95d293ef6b",
|
||
"input": "We both want to ask the same girl, I've wanted to for a few months, but neither of us knew the other wanted to until yesterday. When we talked about it, we both kind of just brushed it off like \"rip, I should've told you\" and \"what? I thought you liked someone else\" then I had to leave. Thing is, he's my friend, but he's not a super close friend. I had already told all my close friends I wanted to ask this girl over a month ago. \n\nSo I don't know where we stand. But in the event that neither of us backed down, WIBTA to just ask the girl as early as possible? I'm really not trying to hurt my friend's feelings but I've wanted to ask this girl for months",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-525329763d8947ff933783f00da1dd6c",
|
||
"input": "Backstory: I have been talking to a business offering a job for 1 month now. Had the Skype interview on October \n\n_________________________\nMY EMAIL 3 WEEKS AFTER THE SKYPE INTERVIEW (it went very well btw):\n\nHi (HR worker),\n\nIs there any update on the position? \nI sent an email last Monday and I am not sure if you received it. Please let me know.\n\nThank you,\n\n(Signed, My name)\n_______________________\nHER RESPONSE:\n\n\nI don’t believe I received an email. (It was sent, we had been replying to each other multiple times through this email) At this time we have filled one of two internship positions leaving a part-time opening. Do you think it is worth your investment to relocate for a part-time position?\n\nThank you,\n\n(Signed, her name)\n______________________________\n\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-aa19f2cbec954937a073580b98e5e77e",
|
||
"input": "A few weeks ago I was in maths class and was asked to go up to the board. My maths teacher was correcting the way I was laying out the sum, and I wasn't sure why. She gave me some explanation that I didn't fully understand, and so I jokingly went \"So I have to appeal to the examiner's stupidity?\" Bear in mind, this teacher jokes constantly and is a very sarcastic person. She never seriously gets mad at anyone and is just a chill teacher. However, she took my joke as me calling her stupid (it wasn't even directed at her and even if it was, I wasn't seriously calling the examiner stupid).\n\nShe makes me sit down and starts screaming at me about how she won't take \"being called stupid\". I end up crying silently for the rest of the class, and despite me wishing and wishing she wouldn't, she asked me to stay back afterwards. I end up having a full blown panic attack while she's all like \"Why are you breathing like that?\" \"I'm not mad at you\".\n\nAccording to her, all is forgiven and forgotten and it's not a big deal. Am I the asshole for unintentionally calling her stupid, or for just not being able to get over it?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c3359977d9bb44468e3dc5b2a408df67",
|
||
"input": "Okay, so I live with my mum and two younger sisters and this weekend, Mum took a girly weekend holiday to Dublin. The house was kind of a mess when she left, so she told us to split to chores between us.\n\nMy middle sister was working both afternoons and evenings, leaving my youngest sister and I to pull part of her weight, so we decided to split it half way between us. \n\nShe did her half first and then cane to tell me what was left to do. I got around to it and completed it in my own time Friday evening and then I went back to my room to chill.\n\nOn Saturday, I began work at 7pm and I came home at 4am this morning. (I’m a bar tender, nights like that are normal)\n\nShe leaves it to 6pm Saturday evening to tell me I did a shit job and that I should start over. I told her that even if I wanted to do that, I have no time as I had to get ready and leave for work in the space if 40 min and she was PISSED. She was swearing, slamming doors, just throwing a huge childish tantrum (she’s 14).\n\nSo I go to work, I come home exhausted and she wakes me up 6 hours later to tell me that Grandad has come to visit. I look like I just been stood behind a plane taking off, I can barely understand what he was saying because I was just that tired.\n\nAfter he leaves, my sister is like “So are you going to help me now?” I told her not right now, I’m exhausted, I got home at 4am this morning, I’ve slept 6 hours after a painfully long and exhausting bar shift, the last thing I want to do is pack the dishwasher. So she throws another tantrum, complaining about how lazy I was yesterday, that she has to do everything in the house and just all round that life is unfair.\n\n\nAITA and how can I convince her otherwise if I’m not.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5f69df0b140e4f90aeb40fd784fdacaa",
|
||
"input": "Just a short briefing of the situation. So my girlfriend just graduated college recently, and for her present I got us tickets to the Philippines. It just so happens that my mom and sister are down there at this time as well. Now we will be spending 2 or 3 days with them but will be shortly leaving for other locations. My mom thinks im being inconsiderate for not spending the whole time with them. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a194444536054fd39ee9993d7871a027",
|
||
"input": "A little backstory. I struggle with mental illness and trauma and have tons of triggers that I’m currently working on getting over but it’s exhausting to see them all the time. When I see them I usually just scroll past or block the post\n\nNow onto the conflict.\nOne of my good friends constantly posted triggering content on Instagram, including sexual posts even though she’s 15 and things about gore and wounds. I expressed my discomfort with what she was posting and said that I was going to unfollow because i couldn’t deal with seeing that all the time, and i also suggested that she set her account to private if she’s going to post sexual content or stop posting it all together because she’s a minor. She instantly blocked me on almost every platform and got my other friend to block me and side with her. I lost 2 friends of multiple years because I unfollowed one of them. AITA? Should I have tried harder to work past the triggering stuff rather than unfollow?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-020046df6cf444698a1d725f3d9e4aa2",
|
||
"input": "I’m on mobile. Formatting. Etc.\n\nAt the beginning of this semester I moved into a new apartment owned by my university. When I applied to live here I wasn’t told that there would be frequent construction going on in the complex as well as our apartment. The apartment is in really good shape and i don’t really have any issues with it. Currently the only thing needing to be fixed is a huge square hole they cut in our ceiling. It’s been there since the beginning of February and they have yet to do anything with it.\n As soon as the semester started we began receiving papers saying that our apartment could be entered between 9 am and 5 pm for a full month. I was frustrated with the first one but figured I couldn’t do much about it. At the end of that month we received another of these letters. I feel like giving staff the ability to enter an apartment at anytime is intrusive. I’m constantly on edge about being able to shower during the day because what if I step into my room to find a staff member? I can’t even take a short nap between school work because half the time I’m woken up by someone needing to work on the apartment. \n I feel like I live in a constant state of being prepared for someone to enter my room. I can’t relax until after 5 pm. My roommates and I keep a tidy apartment so we don’t have an issue with receiving a citation for cleanliness. I have an anxiety disorder and i feel like this constant stress is making it harder on me to be a functioning person. I feel like I don’t have my own space because of this. I also feel like a have almost no privacy.\n I just need to know if I’m being an asshole about this. I would like to complain to my university housing department but maybe I’m just being way too sensitive. I understand that sometimes things need to be fixed but currently our apartment is fine and livable. Summer is approaching and we are being kicked out for further improvements to the apartment. I don’t understand why these issues they see can’t wait until then. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-148572582fed43a1a6ebd71acd74297b",
|
||
"input": "Me (M50), my whole life, my Mom( F75)has never respected boundaries. Anytime my girl or I ask her not to say things to anyone, she tells people. She's asked a number of times about when we are getting engaged/ married. I've told her we will do it when we are both ready. She kept asking even after we've asked her not to ask about it. Stuff like that, or we share something and tell her to not tell anyone else, but she talks about it to other people. \n\nWhen we tell her we are upset she did that, she says she's sorry and it won't happen again. But she keeps doing it. She's done this stuff her whole life and will not stop.\n\nWe've told her we don't want any contact. We've blocked her on our phones. But when she passes, I don't want to even do anything about services. \n\nAm I going to far?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4e33151579d44261baac94faddd14d53",
|
||
"input": "Hey all. Around July/August, my boyfriend of around two years broke up with me. It was after a series of toxic fights, my own insecurity, his gaslighting, and him throwing furniture. I was planning on breaking up with him, but he managed to “beat me to the punch” so to speak, and did it over text message.\n\nAt the time, I was relieved because neither of us were happy. I was insecure over him with other girls (something I ended up talking to someone for), and he is also depressed/has anxiety. He tried reaching out to me a few times around the time of the initial break up, and always brought it back to things I did wrong/starting a fight. If I didn’t respond, he would keep blowing up my phone until I did - and would then start a fight.\n\nFast forward to now, I’m now dating someone else (and have been for three months) and am incredibly happy. Yesterday, my ex reached out to me - first asking about how my job is going.\n\nTo be honest, I was weirded out him reaching out and responded only vaguely in one word answers. I didn’t want any sort of fight to start, so I thought answering (but only vaguely) would be a happy medium.\n\nWell, he was pissed about that and began saying things like “I guess you’d rather not talk, I’ll just go fuck myself then”. After that, I didn’t respond at all, which only made him mad. He starts going on about “how could I move on so quick” and if he meant anything to me, I’d help him get closure. I didn’t respond to anything.\n\nToday, a mutual friend of ours who lives out of state texted me. He began by making small talk and then said that I need to talk to my ex because his anxiety and depression has been really bad and I owe it to him.\n\nI really don’t want to, because it always ends up in a fight. But they make me feel like it’s my fault because he has a mental illness.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bba7594e45ee4194b1dc651689478dc1",
|
||
"input": "Pretty much what the title says.\n\nI'm trying to understand.\n\nThrowaway account just because I feel like an asshole.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6579569053c0460cb6ee4fd8e46ca5a8",
|
||
"input": "Today I was at a party and my friend was eating a donut really aggressively, I'm talking about half the donut was gone in one bite. So I jokingly tell her slow down it's not going anywhere cause I've seen people choke like that. I didn't think anything of it and continued on with my day. About 2 hours later after I'm leaving the gym my other friend text me stating that I hurt her feelings by saying this and I should watch how I say stuff next time. At this point I'm a little annoyed because the friend I told to slow down has said stuff way worse than \"slow down\" to us guys in the group. I'm talking about saying Little dick, Twink and bunch of other stuff. We have thick skin and just brush it off but as soon as we retaliate she always says she's a sensitive person so we shouldn't be mean. What I'm mad about is how tf does me saying slow down when scoffing down a donut offend you?I have screenshots if you guys would like to see this absurdity.I wanna know what you guys think and want to know if I'm missing something here?\n\nTldr; told my friend to slow down when eating,e friend text me saying I hurt her feelings even though she's say way more hurtful shit",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a888eb7470ea46adbf9cbb522033566a",
|
||
"input": "So I am a university which a large art program, there’s a lounge dedicated for people in the arts to chill out (watching T.V. and drawing and stuff). For some reason, there are a lot of people that will walk in, and look over your shoulder to see what you are drawing. I am generally an anxious and private person, I only like showing off pieces when they are finished. I also have a hard time with explaining what I’m drawing because seeing them behind me watching makes me jump and stutter. I don’t draw pornography or anything, I just personally don’t like people watching me draw.\n\nBut when I ask people to not look over my shoulder while I’m drawing, they usually look confused and hurt. Sometimes I can sound very firm when I ask them to stop looking over my shoulder.\n\nI’m not one of those people that assumes that people are watching me when they aren’t actually, I usually don’t notice unless someone explicitly asks me what im drawing or leans over my shoulder.\n\nAm I the asshole when I ask people to not watch me draw? Should I just take it and try my best to answer whatever questions they have?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f58479ccf72745d09c1d4af2a4cc51ef",
|
||
"input": "I like to show my daughter (5) the shows that I used to watch growing up. I used to watch a lot of the Dick Van Dyke Show, the Honeymooners, What’s Your Line, those sort of shows. Since most of this stuff is streamable, we sometimes watch a few episodes. My husband told me he has a problem with me showing her these shows because he doesn’t want her to be influenced by those old ideas of how people should be. I understand what he’s saying, but I told him that I’ve explained to her that the shows are old and that women weren’t always able to be so independent as they are now. I’ve told her that she’s so lucky that she can wear whatever she wants and be whoever she wants. He doesn’t think that’s enough, however. My husband has proposed a ban on all the older shows and movies, but I think that’s a bit silly, especially since she likes to watch them, and I think it’s a kind of teachable moment. I think it’s better to have conversations with her about the content than to just eliminate it entirely. Writing this out feels kind of dumb, but my husband is legitimately pissed at me, so am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4cbcb36021f04f94ae9803211b4b9d11",
|
||
"input": "About 5 months back, I sold my laptop to a friend. It had started collecting dust in the corner when I started working in an office so I figured that I might as well sell it and get some cash out of it.\n\nShe was tight on cash at the time and asked if she could pay it in installments, which I didn't mind. It was $20/month until she paid off the total of $100. Not that much, right? (another friend said that he would've paid for more it, but that's not part of this discussion) \n\nFast forward to today and She still hasn't paid me in full for it. If anything, she seems to have settled for not paying me back at all.\n\nWIBTA if I repo'd the laptop?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e49e5a80acf84b5b9f155cfa85c41616",
|
||
"input": "So this happened 2 days ago while I was working at a restuarant, a couple came in about an hour before we closed around 9pm so it wasnt busy and I was able to chat with them, she was extremely talkative from the second she came through the door until she sat down at the table, she was with a guy that had is arm around kinda lower hip area so I assumed they were on a date or something. I was busy working on side work and I noticed them leaving so I told them to have a good night, then she walked up to me and handed me a piece of paper, I had a feeling it was going to have a number on it but it also had a note saying \"you were the best part of the date I'm on...lol. would like to see you again:)\" with her name and phone number on it. I was pretty surprised that she would do that in front of her date so I just kinda stood there for a min, then one of my co workers came up to me and told me this girl told her date she was going to leave her number for me. I still have the note but I'm not planning on messaging her back, I've been cheated on twice and that's never fun, even if you are going on a first date with someone I feel like that is such a shitty thing to do to someone. Should I still message her saying I'm not interested?\n\nNot a throwaway so I'll be ready to answer any question and take any criticism. Thank you for your time.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0e021bb4c1dc480083d49221f9bc9394",
|
||
"input": "My coworker is from China but emigrated to the US 25 years ago. Her English is nearly impossible to understand, and it drives me nuts. We work in a technically complex field, so communication is key. \n\nI would feel differently about it if she hadn't been here so long, but 25 years is time enough to learn the common tongue. \n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-eb7f90ad7c5146029728b387768c247d",
|
||
"input": "So here's the story. I used to work at a kind of a new IT startup that struggled with some organizational issues. Recently a new CEO was hired and he arranged a meeting with everyone in a room where we all work. When I came to the meeting, I asked my superior colleague to get out of my table in a strict manner and he did. Yet the new CEO witnessed the scene, started arguing, saw huge disrespect in my doings (and yes my act was rude, emotional and inappropriate and I do regret it). As you might've guessed by the end of the day I was fired despite the fact that my \"offended\" superior colleague and others tried to protect me.\n\nYet I do understand that it was inapprorpriate and made without thinking, I'm surprised that this CEO did not ask about reason and didn't let me explain myself. I was responsible for processing big amounts of data and used to leave the laptop running for the night with launched code on it that did vast amount of work. And before the story happened, twice my laptop was taken away in the morning and my desk was occupied which ruined al the work overnight and forced me to start over. I'm confused I was not asked for an explanation, or it does not even matter?\n\nThe fun part is that now other colleagues ask me to help with the project since they do not really know the tecnology stack.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7513ab2ee4ec4760803f294508a6e29b",
|
||
"input": "I’ll start by saying that I’m not asking her to quit. I’d never do that, it’s just how I am. My girlfriend works at a popular supermarket chain, she started around 2 months ago. The job is easy, for the most part, but she’s never around because of this. Before she started working, we’d be able to see each other a lot. As most relationships work. But now that she’s scheduled for a majority of the week every week, she’s never around. But that’s the least of my worries.\n\nShe has a second job, the job she worked before the job she has now. She only covers people’s shifts sometimes, and because of this she takes shifts on days she has off. She works too much. Not because I won’t be able to see her, but because she has no time to eat. She wasn’t like this before working her new job. She keeps picking at her fingers, to the point where it hurts her. She’s constantly stressed out, and has little to no time to do her homework at home so she does it in school. Her parents have told her that they’re not forcing her to work, and she can quit if she wants to. I feel bad because I encouraged her to apply to her new job, and now I realize that it might not be the best for her to work there anymore. \n\nWe were texting last night, and she was super anxious because she felt like she ate too many gummy bears. Because recently, she’s been eating almost nothing all day. The past month or so, she just hasn’t been herself. She was scheduled for every day this week minus Thursday, but she took off Friday and Saturday to be with her best friend on their birthday. Thursday, she took a shift at her other job. I do honestly think she works way too much, and it’s not healthy for her.\n\nHere’s where the AITA part kicks in. I don’t want her to quit, even if it may be better for her. If I told her how I feel about this, I know she’ll overthink it and think too much into it. She’ll probably think that I do want her to quit, and she’ll think she’s a bad girlfriend because she’s always at work and never has time for me (which isn’t true on the weekends, but I have work Sunday so we can only go out Saturday and whenever she doesn’t have work.) She’s not a bad girlfriend at all, and I don’t want her to think that. She has before, for similar reasons, and I don’t think it’s fair that she has to think into things like this so much. I don’t know if I can tell her. The earliest I can see her is probably Tuesday, since I have work Sunday and Monday and she’s going to be at her friends’ for her birthday. Help me out please, because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want her to feel down like this. I don’t want her stressing out so much because she doesn’t eat because of work. But I don’t want her to overthink everything, and maybe feel worse if I did tell her.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cf49ef78d62443d6a59957352d17238f",
|
||
"input": "My (24M) gf (22F) have been dating for 7 months now. She's a sweetheart and I absolutely love this girl. One major problem is her mom. It's a long story but in short she doesn't work, doesn't drive, and makes my gf do everything for her. Gf's mom had a house foreclosed on her and my GF took a mortgage in her name. Tha'ts another story all together but necessary to set the stage.\n\n​\n\nHere is where AITA comes in. About 3 months ago, I was curious as to why my gf and I didn't put anything on Facebook about how we were dating or mark it as \"in a relationship with xxx\". She was adamant she doesn't use Facebook and that its old. Huh okay I get that, a lot of people trended away from that and she is always on IG. Anyway curiosity got the best of me and I found the Facebook. The most recent activity was while we were dating and it was one of her older pics on IG uploaded with some caption I knew my gf wouldn't write. Well I brought it up to my gf and she said her mom has the account and looks on there. She's known of this and let it happen. I told her it wasn't okay and made me uncomfortable. I asked to have it deleted but she said she didn't want to fight with her mom over it. \n\n​\n\nI understood and let it go. Until last night she mentioned a story about how her mom had just shown her messages from kids she went to highschool with dming her being typical creepy in her messages. She says her mom ignores it but this was past my boundaries and really upset me. I got really mad and told her that this needs to stop and it needs to be deleted. I made her text her mom right then and get rid of the account. Its still there....\n\n​\n\nI looked into it more and did some grade C detective work to see if she used the account (she didn't accept my friend request from months prior). I looked at some of the likes and checked those account's profile pictures to see if my gf's name appeared. Shocker... they did. I got absolutely furious about how this makes me look and how this needs to change or our relationship will not continue. I don't want to put my gf against her mom but she is abusive and its ruining our relationship. So reddit, AITA for being pissed off that my gf doesn't change the dynamic with her mom and me taking it out on my gf making her feel shitty over this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-04d16112911947f99035841531fa4fa6",
|
||
"input": " \n\nThis all happened less than an hour ago.\n\nI was at a bar I frequent and talking to some people I know, suddenly I feel someone from behind me hugging and starting to grind against me. I know a lot of people at the bar, and assume it's a friend of mine, but when I look down at the shoes I do not recognize them. I look back and I see a dude I do not know, nor have I ever seen. He looks back at me, with horror in his eyes, because I'm a dude too... I feel an urge of rage inside me and shove him in the chest with my elbow so I can get away.\n\nHe goes to his table and I go back to mine. I was with my roommate and his girlfriend. They asked what happened and I told them, then I see the guy who hugged me looking around for me. Him and two of his friends come up to us and he says: \n\"I just wanted to apologize, I thought you were someone else.\"\n\nI respond, \"I understand, just check before you hug people. Now, please fuck off\"\n\nHe repeats his last statement, so do I. This happens one more time and at this point his friends have surrounded me, my roommate is on his feet and I have left my beer at the table. His friend goes in my face and says. \n\"He just wanted to apologize, you really shouldn't be yelling at us\" and starts waiving his finger at me.\n\nWe are at a rock bar, it's loud, I was speaking louder just to be sure I am heard.\n\nThe manager knows me so he comes asking me what happened. I explain the situation and he speaks with them then he tells me. \n\"They want to say sorry, can you guys shake hand?\"\n\n\"Yeah sure, I just want them to leave me alone.\" \nHonestly I didn't even want to touch the guy, but whatever. We shake hands and they go away.\n\nMe and my roommate look at their table and there's no one that looks anything like me. So, reddit, did I overreact? Am I The Asshole here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-503f415c78ad4c02bce478d531412371",
|
||
"input": "So almost my whole family has never maintained contact to my Grandma since my mother (her daughter) had several disputes with her and my grandpa divorced her. \nI was too young back then and have no recollection of that.\n\n \nSince i am an adult now she tried to get in touch with me and we had a very long phonecall.\n\nShe asked my like two or three personal questions and after that just went on how my family is mean and how hard-working she was in the past. How she has therefore earned her alimony and she told me very much about her current physical health issues. \nShe ended up promising me money which i tried to talk her out of but she was still determined to do it.\n\nMy family denies the accusations she is making since there are some quite heavy ones for example that my grandpa hit her in the past. But there are also some smaller ones which i just cant accepts are true. For example she said my mother was always very ungrateful and personally i know my mother and she is a very sensitive person so i can't accept that she is telling the truth. \nA few months later she called again and essential just went on about the same stuff as last time spew hate about my familiy and didnt talk about me at all. She brought up the money she promised me and apologized saying she had some expences and will send me some soon. As last time I neither brought it up nor did i really want it since money isnt a problem for me. \n\n\nWe havent talked since then. \n\n\nSo by now I figured out i dont want any more contact with her because it doesnt seem like she actually cares for me and her toxicity towards the rest of my family is really putting me off . Her also promising stuff she doesnt hold up to seems to me like a big red flag especally since i never ask for it and im also always telling her that she really doesnt need to. \n\n\nSo am I an asshole for choosing that i dont want any more contact with her? \nAfter all she is still family but i have lived years without her and i dont really feel like having contact with her is positive for my life. \n\n\n \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2d4d8176c87246ec9d6cec0f81b46ea7",
|
||
"input": "A few hours ago, I left a reply on Pewdiepie’s tweet about the very recent Mosque shooting that was a Reddit comment about giving the shooter what he wanted by getting people to be convinced that Pewdiepie influenced him. I then saw the same picture on a tweet, same minute, same amount of upvotes. It has wayyy more likes and retweets (as of now) than the original I posted. \n\nI replied, saying that I was slightly jealous (because of how many likes and retweets it had), and said it was from reddit (another person asked where the original was from) to make it look like I wasn’t focusing on the “haha you got more likes” etc etc part. I then proceeded to get several replies, most of them saying “wtf is wrong with you???” or some variation of the phrase. I apologized about half an hour after the reply, and I’m awaiting responses. \n\n\nTLDR: Said someone got more likes and retweets, when all the person did was copy the same pic I replied with on another tweet. Didn’t call the person out, but said I was slightly jealous. I then got several replies calling me a dickhead, I apologized am currently awaiting the responses. Topic of the post/picture was the mosque shootings that happened very recently.\n\nSorry if I’m being too vague. I’m not very good at explaining situations through text. I am 99% sure I was the asshole in this situation, but I’m betting on the 1% chance.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-472cf0fd6aef43a5bffa81ac2bcbf6f2",
|
||
"input": "My in-laws have large family holidays (40+ people). The first time I met his family, I noticed there were no women! At mealtime, the women suddenly appeared. After dinner, the guys migrated to watch the football game, and the women disappeared again. I thought they just didn't like football. It turns out that the women spend 2 hours before the meal cooking, folding napkins, setting tables, etc. Then after the meal, the women spend another hour or two doing dishes and cleaning. By the time they were done cleaning, everyone was preparing to leave.\n\nThe next holiday, aunt-in-law mentioned that the women would like to meet me, since we barely interacted. They'd love if I could come an hour early and help set up. I shook off the vague Stepford Wives vibes and I figured, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.\n\nSo my then-boyfriend and I showed up early. The women looked at me like I had grown a third eye. Aunt declared \"No men in the kitchen!\", he was banished to the TV room, and suddenly I was stranded with 20 people I didn't know. Most of these women are housewives, and it is a matter of pride that they do 100% of the housework and cooking. It quickly became clear that I am inept at floral arrangement and my knife work is not up to par (I know how to cook, but I really don't care if the carrots slices are uneven). One of the women told me not to worry because they will teach me to be \"bride ready\" so I can make my husband proud. Awkward.\n\nAfter the meal, the women started collecting dishes, and I mentioned to my then-boyfriend that we should both help out. But, he was again banished. So I retreated with him to the TV room and hung out with the guys. We played a board game while the women cleaned.\n\nThat was a few years ago, and since then, I stay with the guys during family holidays. I'm the only woman who does. Occasionally one of the women will hand me a stack of dirty plates, or ask for help with prep. I'll help out, but I usually pull my husband in to help, too. When he gets banished, I'll go too.\n\nWe go to family gatherings 3-4 times a year. 10 hours/year of housework will not kill me. Still, it feels really weird and archaic that the men lounge around while the women work. Also, the women kind of freak me out. They are 100% perfect housewives and can be pretty intense. Never a hair out of place. I'm a nerdy tomboy, and I'm way more comfortable with the guys.\n\nMy mom says I'm being rude. If I don't want to participate with the way they run their family functions, I should not attend. By hanging out with the guys, I'm basically rejecting all of the women and their way of life.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a2122974bfab449398d3dfc47ab59de2",
|
||
"input": "We usually end up In arguments when we talk on the phone for too long and I also needed to get started on my homework so I told her that we should hang up because we had both agreed if the conversation was going on for too long we should end it before we had an argument. Let's just say she was not happy and we got into an argument that I didn't want to be apart of so I just started doing work while she hurled insults.\n\nOne just stuck when she said she hated my ugly nose so I hung up. She then started texting me calling me a horrible person and a dick I said I wasn't the one who said they hated my ugly nose she then tried to call me 8 times on WhatsApp and 6 times on the phone while sending me text saying it was a misunderstanding \n\nI reminded her that this wasn't the first time she called me an awkward fuck a few days ago and I said for an outsider looking in this looks like a very unhealthy relationship \n\nI told her I would call her in an hour\n\nI cant do any work so AITA\n\nAlso sorry about grammar and spelling am using mobile",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6e201a298b0945fdb51ae2132472311e",
|
||
"input": "Okay frist I'm one third of triplets we the 3 of us have the same friend group in school we sit at the same lunch table at school we talk to the same people at school and we basically share our friends well thier is this one girl in our friend group that I have had a crush on since freshmen year ... so last year. Although she is my friend to she is way more close with my sister Sarah. Well today I asked her out over snap not even 5 fucking minutes later I have my sister slamming on the door about to yell my ear off about its fucked up to ask out her friend. This girl really thinks it is just her friend she is part of our snap group she is all our friends when it comes to the group just because your asses flex your 100 plus day streak doesn't mean I'm not her friend so it shouldn't be a problem for me to ask her out so I asked one of our friends and he said you should have told her before hand he said it like this \"like if she was asking out me we are the closest although she is friends with me she should ask if it's okay with you frist\" and I'm like the fuck im not asking for my sisters blessing to ask out a girl and second I have told both of my sisters that I think this girl is hot so its not like this was not secret.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a6d5fc17dce849c08116cf65c426f827",
|
||
"input": "For context, BF has a big close family and huge close friend group. He has lots of hobbies and pastimes, a demanding career and overall a very full life. I admire this about him. I on the other hand am a single parent to an 8 yr old boy, have a small family and a small friend group. I don’t do so much by way of socializing, maybe once or twice per month have girls time out etc.\n\nWe’re slated to move in together in the next few months, and have been doing “trials” spending a few nights at BF’s place here and there, hanging out once or twice per week etc. This is our first time spending the holidays together. Thanksgiving worked out nicely. We went to BF’s then to my family’s and then relaxed at the house. \n\nChristmas was always my favorite growing up. My family still had big gatherings when I was little, I got to see everyone, everyone was happy and it was great yadda yadda yadda. Now it’s borderline depressing. No family dinner on my side. It’s basically just me and my son and my mom usually. I was so looking forward to spending Christmas together this year and making new traditions and enjoying the holiday together. Family and togetherness is how I feel Christmas is supposed to be. Well BF too, just a little differently...\n\nBF’s Christmas tradition is to go out and get shit faced with his brothers and friends on Christmas Eve and then go to his parents for Christmas Day dinner. Obviously I said I’d be passing on the eve, that I’ll be home with DS watching Christmas movies and baking cookies and whatnot. And we’re supposed to all go to Christmas dinner.\n\nThen we had talked about New Years, which we decided we’d stay home and hang with the kiddo. I told BF I’d be spending it with DS, but he can do his own thing and at one point BF said we *have* to spend New Years together. It was non negotiable for him. Ok cool, so you’re gonna hang with us at the house and drink fake wine and play music and bang pots and pans and whatnot?\n\nWell tonight he expressed his dissatisfaction with not “going out” and asked if this is going to be every year? To which I replied maybe next year we can switch it up and he can stay home with us on Christmas Eve and I can get a sitter and we can go out together on NYE. He acted like I’d literally just ripped his heart out. Started going on about how I better never try to get between him and his family and friends etc.\n\nGuys. Every time he wants to do something *with the exception of when he’s changing or cancelling plans we already had together* I am fine with it. I don’t give him a hard time about anything ever. He has a very time intensive summer hobby. I’m talking like 2-3 entire days a week every week during the summer. During football season he’s doing that 2-3 times a week. I am not the type to try to come between him and his “him” time/family/friends. I feel like I’m super understanding and do a lot of working around his schedule and doing what he wants etc so that comment was a real slap in the face.\n\nAnyway. He’s going to be doing his own thing all weekend this weekend and going out Christmas Eve and we’re going to his family thing with him on Christmas. And then he acts like I’m the devil for suggesting that we compromise next year? If he wants to spend NYE together *out*, is it really that ridiculous for me to ask that he spend Christmas Eve home with my kid and I?\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5bc32093f1524dbf8e21085e84fd836b",
|
||
"input": "I will preface this by saying I am not the primary owner of the dog, he is a family dog.\n\nI get annoyed somewhat easily and I feel that he won't learn discipline unless treated strictly for the first 1-2 years. My brother is far too lenient on him and is fine with him annoying our older dog, which pisses me off to no end. So members of this sub, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ad30e612efcd4b62bbaf2003b4a8f9fc",
|
||
"input": "I’m sure these types of problems are common so I’ll try to keep it short. A few months ago I proposed, and my Fiancée and her mother both wanted a specific family member who is in the clergy of our shared religion to perform the ceremony. I was ambivalent about the idea but kept that to myself and said that’s great. We contact him and let him know are date and he says no, that doesn’t work, in fact that whole month doesn’t work try December (the following month). We pick a date in December and confirm with him. Great! Two weeks later, her mom lets us know he can’t do that date either, but can do the following week. Ok, we can do that, getting a little close to Christmas but that’s fine. Two months later we get another call from her mom, he can’t do our second date but can do ____ date in November. She says she’s already talked to the church and venue and we just have to say yes. I don’t get a chance to talk to my Fiancée without her mom on speakerphone before it is agreed that we will move to the November date. It’s moved, venue is confirmed as is the church, and we are getting quotes from vendors as I type this (no deposits yet).\n\nHere’s the twist. After moving the date my Fiancée informed me we are 1 week after my old roommates wedding. Very close friend from college with a guest list overlap of ~15 people. Roommate won’t be able to come if we do this new date, some of our out of state guests will for sure not come (as in have already told us). I feel like we’re hurting our wedding with this new date to accommodate an officiant I have never met and will probably never see again after this wedding. \n\nI talked to my Fiancée and we agreed that despite wanting her relative to perform the ceremony it was coming at too great an expense to ourselves and other guests, so we called her mom and said “let’s look at moving the date to the original planned date.” Mom is upset but says “ok I’ll talk to venues.”\n\nLater that night I get a text from my Fiancée saying her parents decided it was too important to them for him to be the officiant so we cannot move the date. They are providing a significant (read majority) contribution to the wedding and (reasonably IMO) feel they can make this call, though they did not explicitly mention it.\n\nI’m very upset by this. My close friend is guaranteed to miss my wedding and if we like we are being rude to them by bumping against their date. Additionally having somebody else tell me when my wedding is going to be 4 times without any agency is frustrating. \n\nAITA for being upset? WIBTA if I press the issue? Would it be worth it to push back hard against my future in laws?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-eeeb33d671be481ca178888de0cedd56",
|
||
"input": "My spouse and I have an ongoing disagreement about how the household chores are split. We both work full time. I commute 2.5 hours each day with a regular 8 hr workday and assuming I don't run any errands, am usually home by 5:20pm (out the door before 7am). Spouse works remotely (home office), but workdays are irregular and can often last until 8 or 9pm. \n\nGiven the work schedules, spouse's household responsibilities consist primarily of taking out the trash and recycling, removing dishes from the table, loading the dishwasher, sorting their laundry, and picking up after themself. These total about 1 hr/week.\n\nI take care of everything else. Meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning up after I cook, vacuuming, changing sheets/towels, and my own straightening/laundry sorting. I also take care of the smaller things - refilling soap/sugar etc, purchasing household items. This totals somewhere between 5.5 and 7 hrs/week, sometimes more. \n\nI get frustrated because, even working from home and with chores that take less time, spouse often doesn't get their chores done, and I have to handwash items to have a utensil or plate for my meal or the recycling will build up in the collection area. Spouse in turn gets frustrated because they think that since I work less and have time in the evenings to work out or relax, I should be doing some of their chores. I feel like we both live here and as members of a household, we both have responsibilities to maintain and fulfill, and while I'm fine helping out those weeks where things are particularly busy, it shouldn't be every week.\n\nSo AITA for expecting my spouse to take care of their chores and getting frustrated when they don't? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2f4810053c1749e79c3c442d95a5fa75",
|
||
"input": "So I saw reddit posts on this a while back actually. Some mom was doing something very similar and she was called an abusive parent. Just like some feedback for myself. \n\nI'm a single mother with 2 kids (12F, 15M) and the older one has had some issues with video gaming and internet use which heavily affected his grades. So now I have a system where the internet is always disabled right when they get home. They leave their smartphones downstairs and they have 2 hours after school each day to finish their homework. Once they're done, I reactive the internet and they can do as they wish. \n\nI thought I was being responsible with this. Before, I'd frequently find them both surfing instagram or social media while they claimed to be working on homework. Now I know they're working because they show me the work and I can at least be satisfied that some things are being completed. My younger daughter is ok with this system although my son has argued that I'm too controlling and even \"abusive\" for limiting his internet access. He says internet is basically a right and I can't restrict and isolate him just because I don't understand. But the thing is before I implemented this system he was making constant Cs in school. He played online games all night or would just chat with his friends. Now he's actually completing schoolwork. \n\nAITA for enforcing this rule? I was surprised when I saw similar situations pop up online and people saying the mother was abusive for limiting internet. Is this really the case?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7a3e483c7d2848d7b7a0e454ae5936e0",
|
||
"input": "So my friend who we will call S told me something about herself that only like 5 people know other than means she says it’s not lying if she’s just letting them just assume false information. Am I in the wrong for not telling her that that is a form of lying?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c0d1ee313fe3472095b1ef02626cc7bd",
|
||
"input": "There's about a million things that could cause it, but I've never been able to deal with a lot of loud noise. Generally I can function outside of home, because I know I can't expect the world to change because I'm one of those assholes from A Quiet Place but with less murder and more crying and wanting it to go away. I go through a lot of earplugs, and noise cancelling headphones have probably been one of my best purchases. But continuous noise stresses me out, and compounds on other stresses and even itself. \n\n\nI've always been like this, so my family knows, and nobody is under the age of ten. But they've never really been willing to quiet down. Any tkme I spend at home is a constant cacaphony of stomping, screaming, shouting, bickering, slamming doors, TVs turned up so loud it's a miracle nobody's got hearing damage, and it never stops. They even scream in the car, and it's a fight to get the volume on anything playing under 50. From 7 AM to past midnight, it's a constant barrage of pointless noise that makes actually spending time with family either very stressful or nearly impossible. I have approached family members asking them to please be more quiet, offering solutions and compromises, but I get told \"Well OP, the world can't change to suit your needs.\" And I get that, but I kind of wish that I could at least be met halfway at the family home where I am supposedly always welcome. Last visit, after a screaming match between my mom and my brother, I packed my things and left a day early. I told them I had stuff to take care of at home, job applications to send out, etc, but the real reason was after six days of this I couldn't take it anymore. \n\n\nSo, Reddit, am I the asshole for wanting my family to quiet down just a bit?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4632099bff09457c8fa67a08dca246bd",
|
||
"input": "I live in a townhouse and my immediate neighbors have three cars but only two driveway spots. In the winter (Nov 15 - April 1) we have street parking restriction where you cannot leave your vehicle on the street between the hours of 2am - 6am due to street ploughing. They have neglected this rule and done just that on numerous occasions.\n\nThey park their car between our two driveways. When plough comes by at night, it has to steer to avoid their car leaving a massive windrow of snow in front of my driveway stretching out 1 m into the road. So now I am tasked with clearing my driveway and half the street if I want to make it out of my own driveway. \n\nThe local parking enforcement is useless. Next time that happens, I want to take matters into my own hands and use all the snow I cleared from the street (not my driveway) and pile it next to their car door.\n\nSide note: one time this happened last winter, as I was shoveling the damn street, the neighbor came out. Laughed at me. Got into their car (the one that was still parked on the street) and drove off. We are not on good relations.\n\nWIBTA if I just fucking bury them next time?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-53647dc367f240eea79469c9d300019e",
|
||
"input": "My ex and I got together when we were at mutual low points in life. We helped rebuild each other and discovered we were not a good match, to keep thing simple. Now he is making me feel bad by borderline gaslighting me into thinking he \"fixed\" me and I abandoned him. In reality, we helped each other become better people, learned we were not good for each other, and decided to separate. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b88c1047e39a4e9aafb7b9c302dcca0d",
|
||
"input": "Context: I've been chronically unwell for a long long time. My friend comes to my house when I'm not well enough to go out. She used to invite me to go out with her but since she moved in with her boyfriend recently, she's just been coming to my house and going out with him and other people, until I asked her why she didn't want to hang out so much. I thought she was spending extra time with her partner and had, you know, forgotten her other friends still exist. She said no, it was cos she didn't want to invite me to things if I might be upset that I couldn't come if I wasn't well. I explained that I was upset cos she seemed to not want to hang out as much and could she please not decide for me what I was well enough to do or not, just invite me and let me decline, as she knows my health changes day to day. \n\nAnyway. This weekend I wasn't feeling well and I asked her if we could hang out, she said yes and came to my house. I wasn't sure how far I could go out, so we went to the beach right nearby.\n\nAfter about an hour she was texting loads, then announced she was gonna go to the pub with her boyfriend and his friend - both of whom are my friends too - for st Patrick's day and she was gonna wear a green top I gave her. She said she was feeling bored on the beach.\n\nShe made no move to invite me to join them until I asked if I could come if I want to and she said yes I could come. I decided it would be too far for me to go in the end. We left so she could go join them. I felt a bit shit about not being able to go but way worse about apparently not being welcome. \n\nThen stupidly, I emailed her asking why she didn't invite me at first, and if it was cos of my health could she, again, not decide for me what I can do, and if it was cos she didn't want me to come then that's her choice. Then I felt like shit for asking her to justify her decision not to invite me cos she doesn't have to invite me or explain. \n\nBut basically my best friend said that she was bored of me and was gonna hang out with our other friends instead, after an hour on the beach, when I was expecting an afternoon with her - looked like she was bored of me not just the beach. And I felt she was only there to help, not cos she wanted to see me - it's hard to be great company when you're not very well but I'm hardly a charity case.\n\nShe didn't reply to my question (I immediately wrote again to say sorry for asking and she doesn't have to answer). I think I've either lost a friend cos she doesn't like me anymore, or I've lost a friend cos I'm being stupid about whether she likes me or not.\n\nIs she the asshole for excluding me from our mutual friends? Or am I the asshole for asking her not to?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dc746e32b0a44082ac2c872580c9ff52",
|
||
"input": "My best friend and his new girlfriend are excessively affectionate in public, so much so that many of our friends are uncomfortable with hanging out with them. One instance of their excessive PDA is when 9 of us were having brunch, and they were kissing (and really going at it) while we were waiting for food. In a smaller group, they are slightly more tolerable but still try and sneak in a few kisses when the rest of us aren't looking.\n\nOne of my other friends approached them about their PDA in public, and the girlfriend snapped back that it's not her fault that he doesn't know how to show affection to his girlfriend. I have brought the PDA issue up with my best friend casually, and he plays it off as not a big deal. I did not push the issue because he is well aware of the group's concern.\n\nFor my birthday in September, I want to go interstate with 2 other couples (not including them) for the weekend to celebrate. I don't really want them there. They would know about the trip, and they will probably be upset and think I'm the asshole for not inviting them.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5af8e43ff57e4e81aff307ebdbb9fa91",
|
||
"input": "Hi, guys! I find myself in a pretty shitty situation and I'm not entirely sure if I am being an asshole or not. Here's the situation I find myself in.\n\nFirst a little backstory...\n\nI met my ex-boyfriend at my then thirteen year old sister's summer soccer league tournament (she turned fourteen in November). He was a few months from turning eighteen and was becoming a high school senior. I was just starting high school toward the end of August and had just turned fifteen a couple of weeks before. His game ended an hour before I met him and my sister's team took the field. He came over and introduced himself. He said about his sister playing on the same team as my sister and we struck up a friendship right there while watching our younger siblings play. We ended up seeing each other on a regular basis after that. We started the school year in August and we really didn't see bunches of each other besides at lunch when we'd sit at a table together but we'd get together after our respective practices (his being soccer and me for cheerleading and softball on the weekend).\n\nWe kept this up for the next four months where we'd do stuff together and be boyfriend/girlfriend. Eventually I'd lose my virginity to him thinking he was such a great guy. Granted we would fight...but it was nothing too serious and any issues we did have would be resolved pretty quickly.\n\nThat would change around Christmastime...\n\nA few days before Christmas break, we were sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch when he said to me about having to go to another city in our state to visit family for Christmas. I told him that it was fine and that we were having family over from out of state and out of the country (Japan) for Christmas. We agreed to do our gift exchange on Friday night and I'd sleepover at his place. We did the exchange Saturday morning before they left to head north. I got him the game Pro Evolution Soccer for his PS4 because he had said about wanting to play that since he's played so much FIFA and he wanted to try PES. He got me a couple of cheaper necklaces and a bunch of cheaper bracelets and anklets (some of which I wear on a pretty regular basis) which I thought was so cute. I left his place about an hour and a half before they were supposed to leave. We texted when he got to where he was going later in the day and we texted and talked on other social media clear up to Christmas evening. The 26th we didn't get to talk because we were busy with other family and I was busy talking with my cousins that I never met before from Japan. The girls and I were up until 3 in the morning talking and drinking 7up and sparkling grape juice in the spa. The morning of the 27th, I didn't wake up until 10 in the morning which is late for me. My texts had blown up asking me if I had seen what was going on, on facebook, twitter, instagram and snapchat. I didn't know what they were talking about. So I looked at my socials...and my now ex broke up with me over social media. Not only did he break up with me...he blocked me on all the social medias I had him friended on. I texted him and he told me that he didn't want to hook up with me anymore and wanted to hook up with a new sophomore cheerleader on the varsity squad. I was devestated. I cried and was sad for several days. I finally started feeling better around New Year's Eve and even went for a shopping spree with my cousins and sisters and I even got dreadlocks! January 2nd rolled around and we had to go back to school. I was glad to see my friends from school and just wanted to get back into the swing of school. My ex tried to talk to me several times but I kept ignoring him on the advice of some of my closest friends and my eldest sister. Finally, Friday, he decided to confront me asking me what my fucking problem was and why I was being such a bitch and not talking to him. I told him that I didn't want to be associated with someone who only decides to break up with someone over the internet instead of doing it face-to-face. He called me a bitch and an asshole. I continued to not talk to him for the rest of the day.\n\nAm I the asshole for not talking to him after how he broke up with me?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a4c22f9afe07428e8c783446ff6bb799",
|
||
"input": "Apologies if this isn’t the right place for the content of my post, and for any formatting issues, I am on mobile. This is about a video game so it’s no big deal or anything, just something that’s bugging me a little. \n\nSo this morning I had some extra time before my classes started, and since I usually spend my evenings reading I decided to start up Overwatch and play a competitive game of three. For anyone who doesn’t know, Overwatch is a FPS multiplayer, and the competitive mode in Overwatch involves two teams of six either pushing a payload or getting control of a certain point in the map. If someone leaves the competitive mode of this game, no new players are allowed in so you’re left facing a team of six with five players. You get penalized if you leave a competitive match, you lose 50 points and you’re not allowed to play in that mode for 10 minutes. \n\nDuring my the second game, everything was going fine until one of the members of my team left the game. My team tried but there was just no winning, so everyone except for me left. I wasn’t sure of the extent of the punishment I would receive for leaving a competitive match, and since there was only about 4 minutes left I figured I would just stick around and lose this game so that I could play again immediately after the game. No malicious intent on my part at all. \n\nAt first the other team was sympathetic, but then two or three of them started complaining that I was punishing them by wasting their time because I was salty for my loss. I wanted to explain that this wasn’t the case, but then I figured that no matter what I say they will believe what they want, and there was only a minute left anyway. The messages got rather nasty and I was accused (among other things) of being a bad person and I’m pretty sure they reported my account. I didn’t get mean in my responses to them, just said it wasn’t my fault my team left either and that they were getting a free win, not how you’d want to play a game but not bad for them either. \n\nMy reasoning was that they just needed to wait for a little while and get a free win, and we could all be on our merry way, but after thinking about it I’m feeling guilty. Maybe I should have just left and copped the admittedly mild punishment, and not wasted anyone else’s time. \n\nSo I want to ask the benevolent members of reddit, was I an asshole for not leaving the game? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-928f21585d534c9cab1ca3015597641d",
|
||
"input": "Couldn't find a better way to phrase it.\n\nI'm actually having this issue with two of my friends, but the one that bothers me more is the one with my best friend, so I'll go with that.\n\nI'll start by acknowledging my blame: I find it hard to say \"No\" when people ask for my help and I get upset when they don't show me the gratitude I think I deserve for helping them.\n\nMy best friend and I have a great friendship, we used to hang out a lot, either just the two of us, or in a group of friends, or just me, him and his girlfriend. We used to see each other at least every two weeks, but we have the kind of friendship where we could not see each other for months and still be best friends when we meet. \n\nA month and a half ago, he was in the middle of his exams, while I had finished mine (we go to the same university), so, naturally, I wanted to relax for a few days, use my days off from work to get some rest and visit my family. However, he asked me to help him study for his remaining exams and, reluctantly, I said I'd help him. I know I should have refused if I really didn't want to, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him no, so I spent my free time studying together with him for his exams. This went on for three days, admittedly not a long period of time, and he knew I had put aside my plans in order to help him.\n\nAaand that's the last time I've seen my friend. Ever since, I've initiated conversations with him, hoping that we'd hang out, but he was always dismissive or not answering my texts. In this time, he went out only with his girlfriend and her friends, never with our group of friends. Now, don't get me wrong, he has always spent more time with his girlfriend than us and that never bothered me, I would never intrude on his relationship. Plus, me and his girlfriend get on really well, so I'm not being petty.\n\nRecently, he has been trying to reconnect and this time I didn't feel like hanging out with him anymore because I still feel that I was discarded when no longer needed, so I was dismissive when texting him. He just sent me a message asking me if I'm upset with him and I thought I should ask your opinions before answering.\n\nP.S. I know I said I'd only talk about the situation with my best friend, but now I think I should mention my other friend for a better understanding of my almost pathological inability to say no. The other friend is my roommate, he is one year younger than me and goes to the same university as I, and he always asks me for help on exams and homework. He always showed gratitude for that, so that's not the issue. My problem is that, during the summer vacation, three months long, he always came up with an excuse to not hang out. I brought it up to him last night and he seemed to realize I was right, but was dismissive of the conversation and just kept saying I wasn't right, thinking I was joking even though I insisted I was serious. This just made me more upset.\n\nSorry for the long text, thanks for reading!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e2e23bbd49e14b7db8aef70d4bd1f512",
|
||
"input": "So, like the title says, I am a dialysis patient. For the last 1.5 years I've been doing dialysis to keep myself alive. As a young man of 19 years of age, having my cousin offer to be a doner was huge for me however things haven't quite worked out that well.\n\nFor context, my cousin is is a few years older than me, she's long since been the 'golden child' due to her being the oldest and only girl of 4 grandchildren. At family meals her and her mother would hog the attention of my nan and grandad much to my dad's annoyance leading to a few small spats here and there but an otherwise happy family unit.\n\nThe problems arose with her several months into her vetting process to get her ready to be a doner. On this specific day she had text me roughly 9AM asking for some contact details for a nurse at the hospital. Admittedly, I checked the message, clearly showing her I had read it but did not answer right away. I had some dialysis supplies being delivered and they would take a significant amount of time to organise.\n\nAs fate would have it, that day I had been accidentally booked in for an appointment at a specialist hospital a roughly 1.5 hour drive away. The hospital transport arrived and I had no choice but to go with them and have this appointment. I had no mobile data on my phone and could not contact my cousin whilst I was on my way to the hospital.\n\nI arrived at the hospital and waited in the transport vehicle whilst the driver went to figure out the specifics of the appointment. The hospital I was at had a free wifi connection and so I connected to it to inform my immediate family of where I was as I had been home alone at the time. Almost immediately I saw that I had a message from my cousin and it was honestly one of the most repulsive messages I had ever read. It oozed sarcasm, was overtly condescending and proceeded to remind me of how much she had done for me whilst still having the gall to end with \"I love you (OP name) but I don't love what you're doing right now\".\n\nAll from leaving her on read for under 2 hours.\n\nAt the time, I saw huge flashing danger signs in my head. This woman was supposed to be giving me a kidney, how could I trust that she wouldn't hold that over me for the next 20 or so years a kidney transplant can last? I left that comment on read too whilst I formulated a response. Me, my girlfriend and my dad all chipped in that evening to write an admittedly condescending message that boiled down to \"Stop being childish and I can't have you donate a kidney to me in good faith\".\n\nSince then, she hasn't said a word to me or my family. Her family as well as my nan and grandad blocked all of my family and other than some less than friendly emails between my Dad and Nan there has been almost no contact. Neither side has shown interest in trying to resolve the issue, this was well over 8 months ago.\n\nSo, AITA Reddit? I won't lie, I feel an immense amount of guilt. Whilst he won't admit it, I fear that my dad misses his mum and dad. They were a big part of his life and I can't help but feel responsible. I could also be living a somewhat normal life by now if I had just taken the message on the chin and not valued my pride so much. The stress I've put on my family with my declining health could have all been avoided. Apologies for the long post but this has been good to get off my chest. Thanks for reading \n\nTl;dr: Potential kidney doner gets annoyed after being left on read. She is removed by me from my potential doner list for being immature and this causes a rift in the family.\n\nP.S: That appointment? The one I spend nearly 3 hours both ways in a hot transport vehicle to go to? It never existed. It was supposed to be the week after but the transport company messed up. 😑😑😑\n\n\n\n\nStay",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c545f4066285491884bfe97d56cbb319",
|
||
"input": "So for background late year I spent a year abroad away from my family as an exchange student. During this time my room was cleaned out (a story for another time), as well as my brother getting a computer setup, mic and all, against the wall shared with my room. He also started college last year, I'm still a senior in high school.\n\nFor a while my bed was also against that wall amd I could hear him loud and clear. At first I lied about hearing him, but it stared bothering me so I said he could do it past 10 o clock and whatnot. Problem is my sleeping schedule is far from consistent, and he didn't do the best at following those rules either, so it didn't work.\n\nI started knocking at the wall and shouting but since he has headphones on he has a harder time hearing me. Additionally he was an absolute douche about it, not replying to me when he could hear me or just saying \"good night\" and then continuing on. One night it was BEFORE MY SAT's FOR GODS SAKE and he wouldn't stop so I pounded on the wall many times until he did. Later brought it up with my mom and for a while things improved.\n\nNow my bed is moved to a different wall and I still hear him crystal clear. He sleeps in for college but I still need to wake up early for high school. Last night I yelled from my room for him to wrap it up in a rude tone as he's started again. I understand it's his hobby but this wasn't an issue before and I want to sleep in complete silence without worrying about \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-16c5ae3aab4649b1b72af4092e206459",
|
||
"input": "So, this event requires quite a bit of background. I work as a software developer (kind of, see later), just graduated from university. Over summer last year, I worked for a small company (about 8 developers and 2 bosses/managers) doing a programming internship for three months, completely unpaid, even paying for my own transport costs. After graduating they offered me a temporary job for three months to do a short amount of work, with the possibility for extension, which I took. Importantly, my brother works there full time, which is how I got into the company. (would not recommended, not because I don't get on with *him*, as I do, but because it's hard not to worry any tension between me and other people (which I'm great at generating) won't somehow affect him)\n\nI have got on really well with everyone there, including the bosses, Mary and Mark. While Mary and Mark act as management and team leaders, they also do marketing, client relations, presentations etc. Basically everything the company needs that isn't programming.\n\nI really like everyone as people. But as coworkers, they're complete nightmares and do not get along at all. Two employee are always making snide remarks at each other under a very weak facade of \"I'm just joking!\" causing a lot of tension. Another employee is constantly late, delays meetings, argues with Mark and talks down to people he is supposed to be teaching. Circular arguments getting increasingly louder with immovable egos are incredibly common. Code is always written \"my way\" with no consistency. The bosses seem perfectly fine with all behaviour, with attempt to reprimand anyone. The way Mary handled my contract broke the law in minor ways at multiple points. Essentially, Mary and Mark seem pretty incompetent at management. It's worth mentioning the entire office is in one room so everyone can hear every conversation. Ultimately, we mutually didn't extend my contract because I did not want to work in that kind of environment. \n\nWhen I started I was given a pretty old laptop with a fairly damaged screen, but otherwise it did work fine. Ok, I thought, I'll just mainly use a monitor (everyone at the company has a laptop and one monitor, some people have two monitors). \n\nI asked Mary if there were any monitors I could use. She directed me to two old monitors, with a vga to vga cable, when my laptop only takes HDMI. I ask people if there are any vga to HDMI adapters, and they essentially say \"there might be some around\". The office is a complete mess with no organisation (of course), so I give up after a few minutes and buy one online. \n\nThe cable arrives, and the monitors don't work. I tell Mary \"I don't think these monitors work with this laptop\" and she agrees the monitors are kind of crappy. I take the cable home and test on my own computer, and they do work, and my work laptop does work with my brother's monitors, meaning the fault is with the old monitors. I tell Mary \"these monitors don't work\". I don't remember the response, but I suppose I assumed I had implied I would like a monitor.\n\nA week later, I mention to everyone during a team meeting, including Mary and Mark, that my monitors don't work. Nothing still happens so I think \"fine, I'm just a temp. Maybe their budget doesn't extend that far\" and left it, except sometimes jokingly mentioning to the others how nice it must be to have two monitors. I also mention in private to my brother how hard it is it work with no monitor, but I thought the issue was closed.\n\nIn their defence, I don't think I ever actually directly asked for them to buy me a new monitor, but it didn't really seem appropriate as a new employee and I wasn't really sure whether the employees bought and owned the monitors they used or if the company did (as it turned out, the company did), or what the standard procedure for well, anything was, bearing in mind this was my first professional job and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. I also didn't have any kind of \"this is how things work here now\" as I had gone from an intern to an employee, and it had been a year.\n\nI work for two months and the job I was supposed to be doing falls through and I get moved onto doing testing instead of programming, which is *not* what I agreed to, although it does say in my contract they can make me do whatever they think is appropriate. I do not like testing and am not good at it. The little bit of programming I'm expected to do is in a language I don't like and is back-end, when the original work was basically the exact opposite of these two things. I'm unable to do it and my brother has to take it from me, making me feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed. I do nothing and learn nothing for two months, making me already incredibly bitter and feel like I'm utterly wasting my time.\n\nDuring this time there were a few other things that made me feel undervalued and completely unwanted there. Not unwanted personally, but professionally. However, I know I can be a little paranoid, so I ignore it I put down the way I've been treated to incompetence rather than intent. It'll be over soon anyway.\n\nTwo months are past and I have two weeks left. A new guy, Bob, starts working there temporarily for a few months just like me, same age as me too, although he's there to help with the management side of things rather than \"programming\". Mark is away on business and has been for a week or so, so Mary invites Bob to sit at Mark's desk and use his monitors until he gets back. I'm a little annoyed I hadn't been asked to sit there while Mark was away but whatever, I hadn't thought of it either.\n\nA few days after Bob starts, Mary walks in carrying a brand new monitor in a box. Somehow, I already know what she's going to say. \n\n\"Bob's new monitor has arrived!\"\n\nApparently there wasn't a budget, there was just complete apathy. I'm absolutely livid. The angriest I have probably been in years. I want to fucking scream at someone, though I'm not sure what or who at. \"But *I* wanted a monitor!\" probably wouldn't achieve much. It's ridiculous over a fucking *monitor*, but I'm shaking with anger. It's embarrassing. Fortunately, I sit in the corner (worst spot in the office, obviously) and have my headphones in so I sit there for a bit until the conversation dies down and everyone is at their desk. I then go outside and calm down until I stop shaking. I sit back down and try to pretend everything is ok, which really, it should be, but my voice is still shaky and I'm so angry I can't concentrate on my work for the rest of the day.\n\nNow, as Bob is brand new and was already using a monitor, I doubt he asked for a monitor, Mary would have bought him one.\n\nSomehow the conversation gets back onto monitors and I say something like \"As Bob has a new monitor, could I have a monitor please?\"\n\nMy brother responds with \"oh, did you actually want a monitor?\". \n\nAlthough it's not his responsibility to buy equipment for me, it's Mary's, this still pisses me off. I say as calmly as possible while still an irritated voice \"*Of course* I want a monitor. I mentioned *multiple times* that the monitors you gave me don't work\". \n\n\"Oh, I didn't know that\". Which is a blatant lie. I'm not sure how much clearer I could be than \"these monitors don't work\".\n\nMy brother gave me one of his monitors that works, but it's all a bit bittersweet. Mary still hasn't bought me a monitor.\n\n\nJust to clarify, I'm not angry about Bob getting a monitor and me not, not really. I'm angry that Mary decided that Bob would get something she should have known I needed to be efficient. Someone that did not spend three months doing completely free work and someone that did not spend two weeks trying to politely prompt her. How else am I meant to feel but unwanted in that workplace?\n\nI'm angry at the complete apathy I feel is directed towards me, for no apparent reason. I'm angry that I'm treated like an intern not an employee. The monitor was just the final straw. If I wasn't leaving already, I would think about quitting asap.\n\nSo I don't think I'm an asshole for being annoyed about the monitor thing, but am I the asshole for being being entitled? Am I the asshole for being as angry as I am over something trivial? Am I the asshole for not trying hard enough to communicate and then getting angry?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b7dc52cf31724f7dbe64174e393b4025",
|
||
"input": "On mobile so my apologies for any mistakes. \n\nBit of background, my girlfriend and I are in college and she has moved in with me for almost a year now, and we’ve been dating for two years. I share my apartment with a friend from high school ( each with out own room), but he’s chill with the situation and gets along with her too. There have been no problems with the situation so far, but she does have her own apartment which she doesn’t really use. \n\nRecently we both came back home for spring break, but she went back earlier than I did. I let her keep the keys to my place so that she could sleep there and cook and well chill, I get in 2 days after her with my roommate. This has happened before where I let her live at my place for a bit without me and it wasn’t an issue. Last time she also wanted to have a friend over and had asked me with a good amount of time letting me know. I wasn’t super happy about it, but it was about a week without me and she said she got lonely so I complied. And I would just prefer she used her place to hang out with her friends which is like 3 blocks away. \n\nThe issue came this time when because from what I can tell she was at my place and asked her friend to move her stuff to her apartment to make extra space in the closet for her summer stuff ( we share my closet she was moving out winter stuff for summer stuff). In the moment I wasn’t made aware of that, and I assumed she was alone. She left the apartment to pick up some things and came back saying things with “we” and I was confused thinking she was alone. So I asked and she said she was with her friend. Then I asked if she and her friend were going to chill at my apartment and she then said yea if it was ok with me. I then told her that I thought it was a bit weird for people to be at my place, but since her friend was already there then they might as well. They hadn’t moved her clothes or anything just gone to pick other stuff up from nearby. \n\nMy girlfriend was upset by this saying that she mentioned her friend helping her, but she hadn’t mentioned when or that they were even together. I was more upset that she was inviting people, and I was the one that asked if they were hanging out at my place before she even mentioned it. She ended up sending her friend home and getting really upset saying that she wants to move out because I don’t make it feel like her home too. In reality I know it’s not a big deal if her friend had stayed to chill but I would have liked a bit more of a heads up than me asking if she’s alone when in reality her and the friend are already driving to my place. \n\nSo AITA for getting upset ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-80758ae7b984412ba90f61334719a608",
|
||
"input": "My roommate and I are headed to Tokyo. We have planned a good bit, but decided to ask our mutual friend about other ideas and plans since they are from the area. After a couple questions I asked “Do you know of any tea houses in Tokyo?”. I asked because I really love tea and don’t know much about Tokyo or how they are run other than the ones I have been to around the United States. She looked at me and said, “That’s pretty racist.” I genuinely was asking out of curiosity and intrigue, but apparently they are culturally exclusive or perhaps religious. I really meant no harm, and I joke around a lot but the idea of that being racist to ask is resonating truly awfully with me.\nThis just happened about 30 mins ago, as she was helping plan with us. I feel like I did nothing wrong, but am guilty for her saying it was. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-de20fa1bed054de1b4dd19c778f1afcc",
|
||
"input": "So basically, I am a first time dad (22) living with my wife Nat who is also a first time parent (21) and my beautiful baby Amy who's barely a month old. Now, my greatest passions in life were playing soccer (since i was once a semiprofessional player in high school) and playing xbox online (big time halo and gears fan). But now I really love my baby, she's very small and I feel like i owe my life to her. I enjoy sleeping besides her, feeding her and carrying her. I work full time (since i dropped out of college) so I stopped playing xbox and soccer and that was WAY before my daughter was born and during the time Nat was pregnant. I'm not the world's greatest dad, but I do my best to help Nat out as much as possible, I clean Amy's bottles, prepare her things for bath time and to other things like the dishes and laundry. Throughout the day, when I feel that I'm finished with my daily chores and when Amy is sleeping and once Nat is relaxing I'll try to workout because my inactivity has made me gain weight and now I'm not even the shadow of the fit player I used to be. And on my days off at night I'll try to crack some skulls online. However, lately Nat has been saying I play too much and that I prefer playing xbox over Amy. When you play online, you can't simply pause and yet, I'll drop anything I'm doing to carry Amy. She also says I'm selfish for working out and that I should do that when Amy's older. She even told my mom (40) about it and she agreed so now both of them have made me feel bad. There's a soccer tournament next month at my office and I've thought about dropping out since I haven't played in a long time and apparently can't train nor work out. Have I been that wrong all this time?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-27464f40df4145df9ce220a17e452a31",
|
||
"input": "My best friend and I are both interested in my coworker. He has already told me that he intends to ask her out. So would I be the asshole if I ask her out as well?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c47b740187874d81922886d4b5a7c72b",
|
||
"input": "To keep this story short here is a little back story.\n\n I've had a falling out with my mom 6 years ago and we haven't spoken much. This is due to actions on both sides.\n\nOver the past year we have been working on getting back in each others lives and have both stated we want to make things better and recognized that we need to get over our issues.\n\nShe asked ro FaceTime on her portal to my 2 year ols son for his birthday. I was like absolutely and as this is something we do often. She hasn't met him in person. She knows my door is always open but she still hasn't came to see him. We live 20 hours apart. So we are on FaceTime and she is talking with my son/ watching him laugh and play. Overall it was a great reaction.\n\nThe problem I have is that in the background on her side is my step Dad who basically raised me. The entire time he doesn't once come over to say hi or happy birthday or even acknowledge my son. It was impossible for him not to hear or see what was going on, but not once did he look up or come to the screen. The kid is 2 and is giggling playing pikaboo saying thier dogs name etc and no emotions.\n\n\nAfter we hung up it just really stuck with me and brought up a lot of animosity. So I sent my mom a text stating how I felt and that my son never did anything to him and to have him.sitting in the background being cold as fuck really brought up a lot of animosity for me and that I didn't need the bs or drama in my life. Struggling as it has kept me up all night that he would do that.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c6934eca82fd4c05a4422cef48f7d316",
|
||
"input": "For context I made a post a few days back on this r/\n\nMy mom won't stop treating me like IATA and my bro pretty much took her side.\n\nHer and him won't give me a day of peace and normal. Granted I have a tendency to go apeshit when we have problems.\n\nI am in okay relations with my dad but we don't talk much and he has always talked to me like I am the black sheep when ever we are 1 on 1.\n\nSo WIBTA if I just kinda moved as soon as I find a job with 18, if I don't get kicked out sooner, and just kinda stopped talking to them. Like at all. \n\nOr if the scholarship works out and I go to college in a different country and just stopped talking to them then?\n\n\n\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-43d9df8cd9aa434abf36952348580bbd",
|
||
"input": "I (30M) made dinner plans with my ex wife (31F). She was going to be visiting the town I live in so I figured why not catch up if I had the time. \n\nThe day of the plans, my current gf (29F) starts to express her concern about how I’m choosing to spend time with someone who wasn’t very nice to me when I haven’t been paying that much attention to her. (It’s not the first time she’s brought up feeling unimportant and unappreciated. And my ex wife was a biiiiitch when we were together.)\n\nMy gf said she was uncomfortable and went to bed. I left to meet up with my ex, but on the drive, I started to feel like I had made a mistake. Like I was ignoring the pleas of my gf for intimacy and connection. \n\n(Icing on the cake: I got a call from work saying they needed me. So I felt doubly like I should skip dinner plans.)\n\nSo I cancelled. I went home, had dinner with my girl, worked for a bit. \n\nNow my ex wife is angry because we had those plans for a while and she was “really looking forward to it.” She feels like she came all this way for me only for me to flake. \n\nBut we are not very close friends. She wasn’t great in the past. I don’t know what I even gain from seeing her and I love my current gf more than anything. \n\nStill. Cancelling last minute seems shitty too. AITA, Reddit?\n\n\nTLDR - I cancelled long-term plans with my ex last minute to hang out with my current gf when she seemed uncomfortable. Now ex is upset. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-baee5f77e376447e9ba20249fc7fff35",
|
||
"input": "I am a white collar professional. I feed my family and provide a good home life. my particular job is in networking secure systems internal to the company and when I do it well nobody knows anything about it.\n\nhere's where the AITA comes in. I work for a company with a remarkably low customer service reputation. the company is heavy on people and technology so there are yearly rate hikes to offset the increases in staffing costs and network upgrades. shit is getting more expensive faster than it's getting fast enough to carry more content. content is getting more consuming of available bandwidth.\n\nunder to guilt by association transition, am I an asshole for working for a company so unpopular with the consumers?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8ae219c05d0447c4aa0b950581c132c8",
|
||
"input": "Even though I'm going to be a lifelong bachelor (and am used to the lifestyle), I do entertain guests every once-in-awhile, during which time I do everything I can to make sure they're comfortable, in a reasonably clean environment, and that they aren't inconvenienced in my home.\n\nI was called up by an ex, and a couple days later by an old friend I hadn't spoken to for years, asking for my help getting her moved. Sure.\n\nWe killed it, and had the U-haul back an hour and a half earlier than we expected, largely due to my being objective about it and just getting shit done.\n\nWasn't expecting much that weekend...of course there would be a mess. But it was her birthday the very next weekend, and we made plans to get together and for me to spend a couple nights. I offered to cook dinner, etc.\n\nA week goes by, and I go down. The exact same dirty dishes are still in the sink from the previous week, plus some. In fact, there isn't a single clean fork or plate in the place. My friend finally went out and bought a box of plastic silverware, but I went out and got paper plates and trash-bags...because the garbage was overflowing to the point where I couldn't even cut up an onion and throw the bag away without it tumbling onto the floor.\n\nThe whole weekend, they proceed to spend most of their time in silence, staring at their phones, in complete silence except for the occasional laughter as they shared memes over FB while they're sitting 10 feet from each-other, and here I am, no data-plan, not a phone junkie, sitting there wondering why, between a childhood friend, and an ex, there's no conversation going on while we're all in the room together.\n\nI got a bit pissed...but didn't show it until a week or so later, when something my ex said on FB set me off. I called her out that they were willing to call me their friend, but didn't treat me like one, and they both got pissed, and \"hurt\"....to the point where I had to apologize just for them to talk to me.\n\nSo what I gather from this is that if I say something that hurts them, it's my fault....but if I'm hurt by the things they've done, it's also my fault, and I should apologize.\n\nGranted, I wasn't particularly nice when I told them off, but I managed to explain my side...it wasn't just a string of curse-words or anything. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4f65c82fa6ef49f68da51b63f5de8f99",
|
||
"input": "First of all,I just want to clarify that this user isn't a bot,my name is so random because I know this person uses Reddit and goes on r/AITA so I don't want him to see this and have trouble at school tomorrow.Kay,now for the story.\n\nI am 12yr male and I'm currently in 6th grade.I had been friends with this person since 3rd grade.Since we have gone to middle school I have met a new friend,well call him B.my old friend well call him A, has been really mean to B ever since I met him.\n\nFor X-mas I got a Nintendo switch and ssbu.A has asked to come over to play.I said no since he has been mean to B.AITA here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c769e5fad54b44608d3a88a5be277f7b",
|
||
"input": "Yesterday was my 21st birthday and I wasn't very excited for it this year. This is mainly due to the fact that all my friends have gone back to university due to classes starting on the 7th on January. Because I am on a co-op term, I have to stay in my home city which is hours away from my university. Basically, I'll have no friends to hang out with this year. \n\nBut y'see, I joined this nifty online Discord community so I thought that I would still be able to spend time with some close online friends. Unfortunately for me, many of them are also busy with school and exams and whatnot. However, one of my closer friends, let's refer to her as Sam, doesnt study a lot and spends most of her time playing League of Legends, which I also play with her often. So my birthday hits, I finish work and get home at 7pm where I expect to find Sam online. I see her playing some League of Legends as expected and I ask if she wants to play with me after I finish dinner. She agrees so I promptly head out to dinner so I can finish quicker and have time to play with her. Note: I sleep at 10:30pm due to an early work schedule and Sam is aware of this fact.\n\nSo I finish my birthday dinner and am heading back at around 8pm. I message her to reconfirm that she's available to play with me once I get home. She confirms this fact and I head home. So I get home at around 8:20 and I give Sam a call. She doesn't pick up so I wait in the empty call by myself for a couple minutes before me messages me saying that she will be home in a bit. I'm a bit taken aback by this because I wasn't even aware that she had gone out. So I just so \"ok\" and go watch some youtube for a bit. So fast forward half an hour and Sam has not messaged me since. I ask her what's up and she says she's still not home yet. At around 9pm, she finally msgs me to tell me she's home so I give her a call and get prepared to spend the rest of the day playing some League of Legends with Sam. Before she picks up she messages me \"if ur too tired you can sleep and we can play another time\". I'm completely dumbstruck by that statement and I got the impression that she lowkey didnt want to play so I quickly hang up the call. She notices that and tries to recover by saying \"Oh unless you want to play today\" but I'm not having any of it. Her lack of apologies for being late, lack of notice for her absence, and implying I sleep off my birthday pissed me off. I log off discord and am in such a bad state that I go to get some alcohol. It seems a bit pathetic but I was lonely and bored so I didn't really care at that point that I was drinking alone. Sam calls my phone a couple times and I ignore them and continue drinking because at that point we would only be able to squeeze 2 or 3 games in and in the mood I was in they wouldn't be any fun anyways. So I spent the rest of the day drinking my sorrows away.\n\nI wake up today and log back in on discord and I get a message from Sam saying \"let's play league today!\". I tell her I wanted to play league yesterday but she replies saying that it was my fault we didn't play League because I ignored her calls and whatnot. We argue for a bit with her saying I misunderstood her message and me just getting pissed at her for what she did yesterday. She puts the blame on me and gives a sarcastic apology for her actions such as \"sorry I cant teleport home\". AITA for jumping to conclusions quickly and having too high expectations?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f61290ee818845ad94274c3ef0b68967",
|
||
"input": "A little background: I work for my mother and father-in-law. I live with them 700 miles away from my wife(married 3 years) while I finish college (I stopped going for a while and finally decided to finish). They run their own business and therefore it needs to be open almost all business days except major holidays. During this last school year I worked in the office Monday, Wednesday, Friday full day and Tuesday/Thursday afternoon. They average maybe 18 hours in office each during the school year because they know I’ll cover the office. They could have visited my wife any given weekend for 4 days max. Now that school is in break they decided to go visit her (understandable) and ask me to cover the office until they get back (cool, I visited during Christmas and they’d stay an extra week). What aggravated me was when I had already been back they then called me and said they were thinking of staying another 6 days and I should be able to handle the office. I can handle the office but now is the only time I’ll have until spring break to visit her. I tell them this and they say they’re going out of town on my spring break for vacation so I’ll need to cover the office then too. Now I’m beyond pissed and I tell them they’re cutting into my time with my wife because they want to use me for their own extended vacation. My wife hears about it from my mother in law and gets mad at me and says I just have 5 more months of this until I graduate. That shouldn’t be the point and I told her she never just sides with me.\n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ade4fabc3bc5464695a1805dac35bfe3",
|
||
"input": "I know the title seems straightforward but please bear with me as there are alot of details. Also \n\nI’ll start off by saying my buddy is B and my ex is E\n\nSo B and I have been friends since high school, We’re both 25. B left for BC after graduation and didn’t see him until 4 years later when he moved back to his moms. We caught up and eventually started hanging out and becoming more like brothers. \n\nNow he lives in a town about 100km from where I live, and despite the distance for years i would drive up on a Friday night after work and hang out with him until Sunday evening. At times when my other buddies would go out i would drive more than halfway to pick him up and bring him along. He doesn’t drive so as for meeting up I’m the one doing all the driving. \n\n\nNow when he moved to his moms, he met a couple girls at his job and one weekend I was up we hung out with both of them. One of them being E. He became pretty good friends with both of em, but after the past couple years he’s really only kept in contact with E from time to time. They would hang out sometimes but it became more frequent when i got involved. \n\nNow we’re at this past October. Up at his place one morning I had matched with E on a dating app and she reached out to me, from there on we started talking, more and more each day until we decided to become a couple. B knows full well I’m talking to her, and during all this B ended up breaking things off with his then GF, to which I withstood crap from E because I wanted to be there for B and help him out through what was a trying time for him instead of seeing her (During all this I would only see her on weekends as she lived in the same town as B). For 7 weeks in a row i drove to and from B’s place on the weekends to see both B & E. E however explained to me that B, when it was just them two one evening, confided in E that he had feelings for her. This was while we were still dating mind you, and she told me that she didn’t feel the same way. \n\nHere’s where I royally fuck up though, because I had a fling who also lived in that same town and one Saturday, both B & E were working and against my better judgement we arranged plans to meet up. At the time I guess i wanted to see her, but when I was driving to her place I couldn’t shake that feeling of guilt and backed out. I know that it’s a real shitty thing to do, especially because I had it done to me once before. So later that night she was going through my phone, unbeknownst to me and came across the convo with my old fling. Of course she was upset with me, and as I’ve been honest so far, I never felt like more of a piece of shit. I really do have feelings for her and I answered every question she asked regarding my old fling. We came to the agreement that we were still going to try and make it work. I took all the shit she gave me and then some. I even drove up after work on a Tuesday to see her to at least show her that I’m trying my best to make things better. But sometimes your best isn’t enough. \n\n3 weeks after my fuck up, i was talking with her on the phone on a Sunday evening and she tells me that she can’t stop thinking about me and that fling. So we agreed to “start over”. Her words not mine. \n\nDuring that following week, i could tell she was just losing more interest everyday, and (i dont do it anymore) I saw on Snapchat that she was at B’s place pretty muc everyday that week. On the Friday I’m driving home, call her and chat for a little bit. I could tell something was up. And after our call, she then proceeds to ask me if I remember that night we talked about B and how he told her he liked her. Then says that she doesn’t just like him “she’s in love with that idiot”. Idk but i just sorta lost it. I had to pull over because my head was spinning and I just wanted to scream. I was under the impression we were “starting over” and not actually ending things. \n\nEverything I’ve done the past several years B has been involved. We were inseparable, and I don’t have anyone else who I’m as close with like i am with him. \n\nBasically that whole weekend and next week B doesn’t say boo to me. In fact he acts like everything is ok. I had to bring it up and he just asks “oh what’s wrong buddy? Is it E & I? Does that bother you?”\n\nI lost it on him because yes it bothers me and how in the flying fuck do you think that it wouldnt. I’m the kind of guy that wears my heart on my sleeve and he more than anyone knows that. Or at least I thought. Within a week when she told me about B they were already posting pics on social media and the like. It really hurt my feelings, not because she just up and leaves but because my buddy didn’t have a single shred of doubt that what he was doing was wrong, or that I would be perfectly fine with them dating. \n\nI can’t think of either of them without the other and it’s been constantly bothering me. I told him that I don’t think I can come up to see him like i used to, and that i just need to time to sorta work this shit out. He doesn’t seem to mind because he still is with her pretty much everyday now and he doesn’t reach out to me at all. \n\nI apologize for the block of text, but i just need a third party’s’ opinion on this because I want to see B again, and hang out with him and his family, because I’m like another son to them, but I’m angry that he’d done something like that to me. I wish he would have at least talked to me about it before, it seems that they’d always had these feeings for each other but decided to act on it right after I date her. Again, I’m not wanting to downplay what i did, i know it was wrong and I took a long look at myself and knew that’s who I didn’t want to be. But i also dont want to just pretend everything is ok between B & I because this just hits me right in the heart. B would be the the guy i go to whenever I had issues with a girl and now he’s become directly involved. I still havent seen either of them and this was the week before Christmas this happened. \n\nSo AITA for possibly not talking to B or hanging out with him again? Should I just try to come to terms with it and move on? I don’t know what to do\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-107ecbd21b134db4a8808712a33fa612",
|
||
"input": "Ok, so this will be in the very very very very far future.\n\nI’m currently studying to become an English teacher in a foreign country. Once I have my degree and TEFL certificate, etc, I plan on finding a teaching job in a foreign country, moving there, and staying for at least a while, if not the rest of my life. \n\nI have been to this country multiple times, and while the stays varied in lengths, I am ABSOLUTELY sure this is what I want. \nAlthough they were opposed to begin with, my parents are finally beginning to accept that this is what I want, and this is what I am going to do.\n\nHowever, my mother recently told me that should they ever “need” me to, I “will come back to England to care for us from then on.” (I.e if they developed dementia, etc) She said it like I had no choice in the matter. Of course I disagreed with this - by that time, I plan to have a career and possibly a family in this foreign country, and she can’t expect me to just drop everything and become some stay at home nanny for her. At least, that’s what I think. \nShe was appalled, accused me of not caring about her or my father, and stormed off. \n\nOf course, I would definitely come back to England to visit them whenever I could if they were ill - hell, I want to visit them and vice versa as much as I can every year regardless of their health. \n\nI just think that if they were to get ill, it is both unfair and irresponsible to expect me to drop my life in order to become their full time caregiver. I am not and will not be trained for that, and I wholeheartedly believe they would be better off in an old person’s home should they need to be in one. \n\nI love them both and care for them greatly so it sucks that my mother thinks I don’t. \n\nWIBTA if I stuck to this viewpoint? Is it rational?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-45daafdce02b4c4b8d4a5e6a26511994",
|
||
"input": "Kind of a long story, but I’ll try to make it as short as possible.\n\nWe met online a few years ago.\nTalk everyday for a long time.\nWe live in opposite sides of the country. He comes to visit this part of the country because he’s never been here and stays at my place. (Until there nothing happened.. we were just friends.) \nA few days later he tells me that because everyone kept asking him if i was his girlfriend, he started to think about it. I said I’ve never felt that way about him and if he thought this was too harsh and wanted to stop talking to me, it was fine. He says he doesn’t want to lose the friendship so let’s talk normally.\n\nHe lives with his family, which he doesn’t get along with, says he wants to move to another place, so I get him a job here really near where I live.\n\nOf course I show him around, I introduce him to my RL friends. And on a saturday I just have a break-down on a club because of my BF, and by this point i’m pretty fucked up and don’t know what’s happening, I just remember I’m crying and my friends are taking me out of the club. A while after, someone tells me this friend, at the club just said “I can’t believe she is gonna suffer because of that guy. I don’t feel good so I’m leaving”\nTake it into consideration that it’s his first time in this place, he doesn’t know the city... wtf........\n\nSo in between dealing with my ex BF, being ashamed of the break-down, and asking what was up with his reaction, I just choose to deal with one thing at a time, the most importante is dealing with the ex-BF. So I have been pretty much ignoring this friend for about 3 days.. but he doesn’t stop messaging me like nothing happened.. AITA??\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ea5ef4384a204313b5ec1a33599e3d8e",
|
||
"input": "TL;DR - I have about $50k in student loan debt after 3 degrees while my SO’s parents paid for his education 100%. He wants me to keep paying for it out of a separate checking account after we get married. \n\nMy boyfriend and I are looking to get engaged later this year. We’re trying to be responsible and have all of The Conversations you’re supposed to before you get married. We got to the finance part of that today. \n\nHe said unequivocally that all bills, utilities, and normal costs (groceries, car repairs, etc) should be paid from a joint checking account that we’ll open while engaged, but he’d consider keeping a separate account open for “spending money,” etc. I told him I wasn’t entirely comfortable with that - he’s extremely trustworthy, but that still feels secretive and too easy to make into a problem. He agreed that made sense so he wouldn’t but asked if I was keeping a separate account to keep paying for my student loans. I was shocked and a little hurt, to say the least. \n\nHe comes from an upper/upper middle class family who sent him to private school K-12 and paid for his college entirely. My parents are public school teachers so obviously they couldn’t do that for me, but I had a large part of undergrad covered with scholarships. I have two BAs and will finish grad school soon with a total debt of about $50k. Not great, but I know that’s still at or below average for our generation. \n\nHe said he’s uncomfortable paying for debt he didn’t accumulate and doesn’t want that “affecting credit scores and stuff.” (It’s worth noting his parents are pretty secretive about money, so his financial education is... lacking.) I can understand that in general, and it would be a different conversation if he’d had his own debt that he paid off solo. I also explained that I’m not expecting him to write a check from his own salary while I go blow my own pay on dumb stuff. I feel like I’m being held at arm’s length or looked down on because of a completely normal, if shitty, part of life that he was just lucky enough to avoid. \n\nAITA for looking at marriage this way - a total combination of everything, including all the baggage in all its forms? Does it matter that our situations are so disparate in this instance?\n\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2361b5c699fd47aeb28ce3d5ec665060",
|
||
"input": "hi,\n\n​\n\n​\n\nthis is a really long story. to start, i (FTM 17) was in an abusive friendship for around 4 years, we'll call him P (M17). P was awful. he touched me, sexually harassed and at one point grabbed my ass, would stalk me and control me, and lots of other things. i stopped being his friend and had the confidence to get out of the friendship when i started dating my current boyfriend who we'll call S (M17). when i stopped being P's friend he got extremely upset (he also harassed us and tried to manipulate us into sex). \n\n​\n\nonto the next person, i'm sorry i'm not sure how to word this whole situation. there are two parts. my friend A (19M) was my online friend for about 6 years or so. when i started dating S i did start to fall out of contact with him, not just because of my relationship but because i was trying to become more social with people irl. A and i got in a big fight starting when i was drunk and mentioned i was thinking about killing myself. he contacted P asking for my mom's info to let my mom know what was happening, and instead of being mad at A i was mad at P for giving away my information. A knew all the things that P has done, but decided to stop being friends with me and go to P's side. i'm not sure if P manipulated him into becoming his friend, but that doesn't matter. A is known for using hard drugs. my boyfriend threatened to turn him into the police (even after i said not to) due to this because of all the times he has upset me. when i mentioned that i was trying to stop him to do that A got mad at me because i wasn't trying \"hard enough\" to protect him. long story short, i was told i'm a manipulative snake who cares about no one but myself for deciding to no longer be friends with A (i sent him a message telling him we should break off the friendship, to which he responded saying how i'm manipulative)\n\n​\n\ni'm honestly really confused with this situation and how i'm being called the manipulative asshole and a snake. P is saying i was worse than he ever was and that i'm awful and i'm honestly really confused??? i'll update and try and get more info\n\n​\n\ntl;dr: stopped being someone's friend and ex friend left me for abusive ex friend. idk how to summarize this ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-75ba24b42fd748eb8d41b6b7abaea3eb",
|
||
"input": "AITA for lying to my friend about their transition and my support for their decision? I've never lied to them before but I don't want to ruin the friendship over my much more traditional conservative views on life. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5d83b14cc49a4befb3eaa30b1beab2fe",
|
||
"input": "We have a new baby and are flat broke. Private student loans are going into repayment. $1,100 per month minimum. A few months ago he quit his job (insurance benefits and everything - with a baby at home) to look for something more \"fulfilling\". And yes, I was pissed. But pissed doesn't fix the problem or pay bills. \n\nI am going back to work full time but he wants to use his degree and become a youth pastor again. Wonderful for him but he wants me to wait to find permanent work until he knows where that job is gonna be. \n\nToday I was offered a great teaching job with childcare benefits that would require us to move 45 minutes to a bigger city and about 5 miles from all my family (huge plus support-wise). His mom doesn't want me to take it because he wants a pastor job. \n\nAITA for telling him to suck it up and work somewhere else because we have a baby and bills and we need to make some money ASAP? If he finds a church job where I was offered a position that's wonderful! But it might not happen RIGHT NOW. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d8e248da14ea4fe79cf290a44e418ecb",
|
||
"input": "First off I’m on mobile so sorry if there’s any formatting errors or anything like that. Secondly I’m sorry for the long read, tl;dr at the bottom.\n\nI dated my ex for two years, through junior and senior years of high school and then a little into college. We had a great relationship. Minimal arguments and the ones we had were solved in mature ways, healthy time spent together and not trying to get in the way of each other’s friendships, understanding that time had to be spent with other people, great memories made etc.\n\nAfter we got to college the distance really affected us. We’re both collegiate athletes, and with sports, classes, social lives, and time zone differences, it became really hard to get the time to talk that we wanted. We lost a fair bit of communication, and it really did take a toll on the relationship. \n\nEventually she started doing things that I thought were counterproductive to her being successful (I know, this sounds like something an asshole would say, but we both took our schooling and athletics seriously and liked to keep each other accountable). She would stay out super late partying on the nights she had big tests, she picked up cigarettes, and she started having guys that she would let crash in her dorm after nights of drinking. This made me uncomfortable and I did get angry but we were able to talk through it. Even though I wasn’t happy about it I trusted her.\n\nOne night, after the distance had really brought us to a breaking point, I called her and she was out partying the night of a midterm. I said she didn’t seem like the person I knew and she just said “I guess I’ve changed.” I ended it right there. About a week later, one of my good friends, who attends the same school as her, had told me she was already sleeping with other guys. A month later she started dating another guy and was making posts talking about how much she loved him and things like that.\n\nA year and half went by and out of nowhere I get a text from her asking if I wanted to talk about things. She said she didn’t like the way it ended and was scared she’d have a panic attack if we saw each other in person during any of our school breaks (our hometown isn’t small but we have a lot of mutual friends and we frequent the same places).\n\nI wasn’t too keen on the idea. I didn’t have any hard feelings about the breakup itself, I knew it had to happen, but the way she moved on and how fast she had done it, coupled with the person she had become, had made me a little bitter towards her. I told her that there had been plenty of opportunities for us to bump into each other and it had never been a problem before so why was she worried about it now? I then called her out for how quickly she moved on and how shitty of a person she had just seemed to become.\n\nI never contacted her again and she hasn’t tried to contact me yet, but I get this feeling that I should have tried to be a better person and meet with her to talk about it. AITA for not doing that?\n\ntl;dr Broke up with girlfriend of two years after we couldn’t handle long distance and she changed from the person I used to know. She started sleeping around immediately and moved on very quickly. She tried to contact me a year and a half later to talk about it and I refused, being kind of a dick about it.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fc5983dda20d4ef9b4231d5b2118d0f5",
|
||
"input": "Some background. We have a small female, un neutered (or however you say it) cockapoo who is great. Shes calm, good with people, and obedient for the most part. We've had her for about six years now. When we originally got her, it was my mother's idea. The dog, let's call her Megatron, was extremely disobedient the first year. Constant shitting in the house, ate our food, harassed our cat of 10 years. My mother talked all the time about how pointless and hopeless this dog was, how she would give it away the next month if things didnt change. It was just a puppy doing puppy things. She didn't seem to understand that training dogs takes a while. \n\n​\n\nOur other, much more well behaved dog, beloved by my mother as almost another child, died about three years ago. She was understandably heartbroken as we all were. A great dog. He was about medium sized, so she not soon after started looking for another medium sized dog. \n\n​\n\nFast forward to two years ago and she went to the local pet store for some dog food for Megatron. She comes back with this large puppy, about the size of a medium sized dog. Completely rash decision. I am not aware of the hurricane that is to come so am initially excited and supportive. \n\n​\n\nMegatron is not spayed/neutered, keep in mind, so she is extremely territorial of this new dog. She immediately does not jive with it and it sucks. He wants to play, Megatron wants to fight. The house is constantly a canine battlefield. \n\n​\n\nThe puppy is extremely difficult, added challenge of him already being the size of a medium sized dog. He breaks out of his cart, tears up carpet, eats food from the kitchen, etc. \n\n​\n\nMy mom and stepdad are leaving for somewhere, so they ask me to watch the house while they're gone and make sure that the puppy and Megatron get along. Two problems: \n\n1. I have a historic phobia of dogs, and dog conflict makes me very anxious. She was around to witness this development in my early years \n\n2. I am an extremely anxious person. I have at this point already made clear to her that I was going through a period of immense mental difficulty, as I developed a severe panic disorder out of no where. \n\n​\n\nTo absolutely no ones surprise, shit hit the fan. The puppy immediately began causing problems. Chewing things up, getting aggressive with Megatron, scaring the cat. I called my girlfriend over to help calm me down. I was playing computer games in the living room to distract me. Dog ate my only mouse. My girlfriend leaves to get me a new mouse because shes amazing and I was worried about not having one that night as using my laptop is part of my relaxation routine. When she comes back, dog eats her new vans she just bought. When she tries to get them back, dog bites her. \n\n​\n\nThe entire time I'm having an extreme panic attack, Megatron is very uncomfortable, cat is hiding, my girlfriends pissed. My mom never took responsibility for anything that the puppy destroyed. She never got me a new mouse, my sister new shoes. When I told her about it, her response was \"That's what happens when you get a puppy\". I firmly believe that it isnt what happens because it's not my puppy, it was hers. She knew the difficulty of this dog, she knew my anxiety would skyrocket. \n\n​\n\nThe worst part is, the puppy was too much for her too. She put it up for adoption in a shelter, again. Poor dog now has to wait twice for it's owner, because my mom didn't have the responsibility for it. \n\n​\n\nNow shes telling me, tonight, she has her eyes on this new female puppy, three weeks old. I start off like I don't believe shes serious, but my younger sister of course feeds into this mess, because she of course never had to take care of the previous dog, or will this new one likely. \n\n​\n\nI tell her \"I'm not babysitting this one\" which she responds \"I never asked you to\". I said \"You did the last puppy and that went horribly\" and she says \"Well you live here, you might have to.\".\n\n​\n\nKind of bunked if you ask me. I am a college student with a job that only gets me 16 hours a week avg. I like the hours because I'm still very much contending with my anxiety problem. It hasn't gotten better and it hasn't been easy to work around. I'm making some progress in some areas, but I'm also experiencing new psychotic symptoms lately such as slight hallucinations and paranoia. Shes never been good at supporting my anxiety, so I've gone this journey alone save my father and girlfriend. Therapy has been expensive and hard to find. \n\n​\n\nI think it's necessary to mention that because I'd be much more willing to help with the dog if I hadn't already so much reason to worry. It's her house which I am lucky enough to live in rent free, so long as I stay in school. It's her life, she can get a puppy if she wants. I won't even try to stop her, that's just not right of me. But I feel like I have the right to refuse to help take care of it, and express my general concern as to why its a horrible idea. \n\n​\n\nTL;DR\n\n​\n\nMom historically bad with puppies. First puppy we barely kept and is now a great, small dog. Mom expected me to participate for this second, large puppy which went to shit, destroyed me and my girlfriends things, set off my anxiety disorder to all hell, and she refused to take responsibility for it. Got put up for adoption. Now she wants another new puppy which we all know will not jive with our first dog, and she also expects me to take responsibility for it. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cda5287615f14a2ebe7d4716a80ab5d1",
|
||
"input": "So I (18M) work at a call center for a medical clinic. Today, I was sitting with two of my coworkers discussing work and the topic shifted to some other business ventures the company has made. The woman said “these Jews just want to make money”, in reference to the two owners, who are both Jewish and pretty well renowned in their field of medicine. While I am Jewish, I’m not very threatened or offended by this, however I feel somewhat compelled to not let this slide.\n\nMy questions is, would it be the right thing to speak to a manager about this, exposing myself as the one who told and potentially getting her in trouble, or letting it slide as an offhand comment? For context as well, I have been there 8 months and she is relatively new, so 3-4 months. She has also made many nagging comments about coworkers, patients and managers. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-28bbc6e5b847403d93e6cb91d42fb28d",
|
||
"input": "Full disclosure, my grades have been falling for the past year or so, I believe it’s mostly because of stress and self esteem issues, my parents think that I am putting up an act and using this as an excuse. My grades have finally picked up during the past month or so after addressing and trying to solve these issues, and even though I am not in the top 3% like I used to be, I am happy with myself. My parents on the other hand, keep making fun of my ‘excuses’ multiple times a day, saying I was manipulative and just lazy. \n\nFor the past week or so, my mom has been tutoring a student. She is an economics teacher, and while I don’t study economics, my mom keeps talking about how better of a student the girl she tutors is. How organised and better she is, how she doesn’t put up any fake excuses. My mother says really inappropriate things she feels bad about later on when she is angry, stuff like how I was born to make her put her head down in society, and my brother made her proud, how I would be a garbage man in the future etc. I never mention these things to her and she mostly forgets that she said them in her rage. \n\nI finally snapped yesterday and told her all these things and how it would be better if I just got to be myself and do things at my own pace, we haven’t been talking since. My parents are quite angry with me. I love them to bits, I am very fortunate to have them, and I feel like they are amazing, just not perfect like anyone else on the planet, and I keep apologising and I feel sorry but they still aren’t listening. I just wanted to know if I was the asshole.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5b35c88317614c519e59ab1725591fc8",
|
||
"input": "I've just broken up with my partner. We have a young child together. Honestly, I can say that I did many things wrong in the relationship, made a few mistakes. Never cheated or assaulted her at all, just some fuckups that became clear to my with time. All in all the relationship ended last September, but only just realised now that I can't win her back. During this time I managed to win her back, move back in with her and my son, to then make a mistake and be thrown out again. So I own the place where we both work. It's soley in my name as it was my business. She has helped out, worked with me and my intention was always to make it our business by getting her name on the place too. Well, after all of this happening, she has walked out once on the business before and left me in the shit so to speak, had to employ someone else to take over her role within the company. I moved out, into my friends unoccupied house, then into my own flat. After realising that I can't do everything, I couldn't pay for myself, for my employee, for all her rent, food, bills and all my sons needs, I asked her to come back and work with me. During this time she was working a job that she earnt little to no money and couldn't cover basic needs.\n\n​\n\nShe comes back to work with me, we manage to make the business stable. I let her take over the finances to which I don't think she did a good enough job of. Unfortunately, I can't get back with her, her decision was made a long time ago, and I had been living with a hope, that some day, maybe it could work. After not really knowing how to approach anything with her, still kinda thinking we could at least do things as a family, which I was wrong to presume. I had a really bad day where I couldn't even function properly, asked her if I could stay at hers and talk and go through some things, which we kind of did. She bascially turnt around at the end and said I can't do this anymore, that she doesnt feel like she can do this and that she doesn't want to be near me. \n\n​\n\nIf I don't put her name on the business, she will likely leave her position, go back to not working enough and thengod knows what will happen. I care for this woman, she is the love of my life, she is the mother of my our son. She has no one here, no family, no friends. I was the only one and I am the only one who knows her truely. AITA for thinking that I shouldn't put her name on it, take my car back(which i've let her been using for 4 months), take my laptop back(which we had been sharing but it was more 80%/20% in her favour), have a relationship with my son and forget about her and let her get on with things? Maybe she will do it well, maybe she won't. I really don't know what to think",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-286ea51c087648cb8873f10160b602b5",
|
||
"input": "So a few months ago my gf and I traveled out to her parents town to be able to see her sister be baptized and for her to get family pictures. Anyways, through some very poorly and not concrete texts we had decided that I would stay out in their motor home as they had no room inside and that my girlfriend could sleep with her little sister. \n\nSo everything was good until it was about time to go to bed. Now I had been dealing with an ulcer which gave me incredible heartburn and I would constantly wake up at night in incredible pain and have to take xantax to calm the pain. Since I was staying outside and I knew they would most likely lock the doors I asked my gf to ask her dad if there was a way I would be able to get inside, for instance the door code, if I needed to use the bathroom or take my medicine. To which he responded that he \"didn't know the password and to ask her (step) mom.\" Now this was weird because how could the guy that could look at the camera for the doorbell not know the password?\n\nAnyways, we didn't think too much about it, and decided to go get me settled in the motorhome and watch Netflix. We also texted her mom and asked her the same thing to which she responded that she didn't know and to ask her dad. Now this was confusing, and honestly I was getting pretty upset. \n\nNow to preface this, we had tried to come to house early where we were locked out and her sister(18) was able to come home and unlock the door with the password. We asked if we could know the password and she said no because it was her password.\n\nSo fast forward, we ended falling asleep, and I woke up at 4 with terrible heartburn and was unable to get inside so we both just stayed out in the motorhome. Cue the morning, where we received texts from her stepmother on how disappointed she was in my gf and wouldn't accept any apology.\n\nSo not only, was I tired and sick but now I was angry because we had been lied to and then treated like children. So I, in my infinite wisdom, decided I was going to let her mother know of my disdain. I was riled up. When we went to door I shook the handle and then knocked. When her sister answered she said you couldve just knocked or rang the door bell. I said something disenchanted. Ended up getting into an argument with her mother who said that she was blameless and put it all on my gf for making her out to be the \"evil stepmom\". I ended up leaving the house in a fury because they would not budge. \n\nNow they keep holding it over my head even though I apologized to the mother. I am now engaged to my gf and they have told lie after lie to try to break us up. \n\nTL;DR gfs parents locked us out of the house with no way to get back in, I got mad, they accept no responsibility and keep holding it over my head. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-44cfee30781d4b0e926d4b6616bef2c3",
|
||
"input": "I've worked for my current company for about three years and have never had a vacation longer than a simple 3 day weekend. My department is so small and has so few people that it's hard to schedule extended periods of time off, so I currently have about 2 and a half weeks of vacation time saved up. Would it be a total asshole move to get all my vacation time approved, then put in my 2 weeks notice while on said vacation, functionally quitting and taking 2 weeks of paid time off? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-170f2cb585b94688b8bf7b6e38b8ef10",
|
||
"input": "This is my first time posting here, so bear with me.\n\nI have my steam profile up on a website where you play the party game Mafia with other people online. One of my close friends on said website saw that I play a game that he also plays (terraria). He contacted me and thought it would be fun if we play together. \n\nI am a big fan of this game, and he was a little bit new. I was teaching him some good tricks and was really having some fun, but I felt uninvolved when it came to actually doing stuff together in this game because he was actively avoiding wanting to do other stuff (such as bosses) with me.\n\nWe were doing one of the harder bosses. I was preparing for this fight beforehand and I admit I rushed it. I didn’t give him any idea of what to do in the fight. I just gave him some potions and expected him to roll with it. He dies immediately, and I finished the boss. He got passive aggressive and told me to log off, and that he would do the boss again by himself. I apologized and left. \n\nA few days later, he invited me to play again. I got on and was really excited to continue from where we left off, but he went through the next 25% of the game and expected me to be prepared for the next fight. I was sad and mad, but I didn’t let that be known. I asked if he had anything to help me catch up and that he didn’t. I was sad because I missed out on a big portion of the game when I was expecting to spend that portion with him. He told me to get some items from other characters and I got some at like 1% higher than what he was currently at.\n\nHe starts the boss, and after we finished it he sees a weapon I used to do well in the fight and calls me a cheater because the weapon I got was one boss higher than the boss we were fighting, but it was still at the same level we were at. He gets mad at me and says he’ll fight the boss again by himself. I got mad and said “I’m not the only one who can do shit by them self” and “You might as well do the entire fucking game without me” because of what happened earlier. I haven’t contacted him since.\n\nI realize that it’s bad to get mad over a game, but I felt more mad at his actions rather than anything else. I really want to apologize because I realize that being petty is never the answer, but I want you guys’s opinion.\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0a262f1024c1416cba4d6cdcff4e30ca",
|
||
"input": "My friend \"John\" broke up with my other friend \"Stacy\" and she has been really heartbroken and recently I have been talking to her a lot and we facetime every night for like 2 weeks and I think I am starting to develop feelings AITA for starting a relationship even though he broke up with her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-97bda2fb338c4716b872c7acf925772a",
|
||
"input": "So basically\n\nMy friend A is transferring from online school to normal school.\nshe's been at the school before but did online for a year.\nshe wanted to call for her last day without school.\nSo we called..\nWe were laughing the whole time.\nIt was a good conversation, I'd say.\nNear the end she had to brb in the middle of something i was telling her about (which we were laughing at, so I just wanted to get to the funny part so we can laugh more) and I waited about 10-15 minutes. \nShe came back saying she had to sleep soon.\nIt was 9:57pm\nI suggested we call for 3 more minutes.\nSo she said ok and I continued telling her about what had been interrupted previously.\nNot even 4 words in and she says she's going to go to bed and that she wanted to end the conversation differently.\nThen she hung up abruptly. \nI messaged her about it and told her we should call again and make up for it, yet again, I was still confused as to why she was upset. \nShe went on about how I'm inconsiderate and should've known that she didn't want to keep the conversation going about the topic.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7aa6ccea9b5646c0b1a624377080af12",
|
||
"input": "Am I the asshole for not having sympathy for a co-worker that seems to have a pretty turbulent lifestyle. This lifestyle seems to causes them a lot of stress and anxiety which they then bring to work and end up leaving early multiple times a week or camping out in the bathroom for half the day. \n\nAm I the asshole for thinking they \"cry wolf\" a lot of the times when they say they need to leave early? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5de8cb37a58e427c9375a6c59dd735e5",
|
||
"input": "(Sorry for any mistakes and formating im new to Reddit and using a phone)\n\nSo this kid (who we will call John, its not his name) has thought he is better than everyone ever since grade school and if he's not, he strives to be better than them and call them dumb for not knowing. My friends and I sit at a table at school in the morning to talk.\n\n So I have a fascination for World War 2 and people at my school know that. John found out and looked up basic facts and one fact that is very unimportant. So the next day he comes and sits down at the table uninvited and I think oh god and he says to me \"Did you know that the Wehrmacht and the US fought on the same side?\" And I said \"No\" since I didn't know that and the day went on. The next day he sits down here again and says \"What happened on December 7th 1941?\" I said \"Pearl Harbour, you know I know this stuff\" and he was shocked, I also told him that I collect this stuff and he had the nerve to say \"Knowledge is better than collection.\" I was in shock that he said this, my other friends were around and in shock too my friend tells him \"Just because you looked up a few facts doesnt make you a master at this.\" John replied back saying \"I have mastered the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World War 1, World War 2, and the Cold War\" I was pissed that he said this, but brushed it off because he was most likely lying. He was know for this kind of stuff. Today he says to me \"Did you know that Operation Barbarossa happened on September 1st 1941?\" I gave him a confused look and said \" Do you mean the invasion of Poland in 1939?\" He says \"NO, I mean Operation Barbarossa\" I said \"Sure\" and I knew he was wrong, but for some reason my brain just said yeah, so tomorrow I have a million questions for him to test his \"superior knowledge\" in the subject I just so happen to like and that I excell in.\n\nAITA\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c6bc2862004f4fb490f2a41e2e3ca774",
|
||
"input": "My best friend (B) and I were at a thing that our church runs on Sunday evenings for high school students. Both of us are seniors. All names have been changed.\n\nWe get to church, we're all hanging out and laughing and having a good time, and B and Todd walk away to go talk, alone.\n\n(For context, B had told me earlier that she needed to talk to Todd about something personal, and I was like okay? you do you boo. Harpago was less supportive and wanted her to talk to him about it instead, but every time she'd brought it up to him previously, he'd gotten angry and impossible to reason with.)\n\nI did not see Todd and B walk away from our group. Seeing as both the guy I have a massive crush on and my very sick best friend have disappeared, I, understandably, panic.\n\nSaid panic gets worse when another guy we know, S, walks over and whispers something to Oliver, who immediately gets angry with him and tells him to stop trying to start rumors. I, already being wound up from Todd and B's disappearance, freak out even more and ask Oliver to tell me what S said to him.\n\nOliver explains angrily that S was trying to start a rumor that Todd and B were 'spooning' on the metal stairs outside and that they'd gotten caught and yelled at by a leader. I then start shaking and put my head in my hands, because B has had issues with one male leader in particular because she's dating Harpago, a known troublemaker. Now, I know that Todd and B would never do anything bad, but I do know that Todd is parked in the back lot by the metal stairs and that they might've gone to a Walmart up the street, which is something we do often.\n\nI try to call B. No answer.\n\nI send a text in my group chat with Todd and B. No answer.\n\nI call Todd. Rings once, goes to voicemail.\n\nI call B again. No answer.\n\nI'm now on the verge of a panic attack- this is my closest friend and she's in pain, both mental and physical, and now she's missing, and so is the guy I like (who I am also close friends with). Oliver, Calvin, and Lily are all telling me that I'm overreacting and that everything is fine, but I can't calm down.\n\nLater, Todd and B reappear, coming in through the doors that lead to the lobby area. I yeet over there and ask B if I can hug her (there's a story there), she says yes, I pull her into a bone-crushing hug and when I let go I give her a stern talking-to, choked up and with tears in my eyes. Todd explains that they've been in the lobby, and everybody goes back to hanging out as normal.\n\nLater that night, I get a series of four texts from Harpago. He's berating me, telling me that B doesn't have to report her every move to me and that I need to 'stop being an asshole to her all the time' and that I'm 'not him when I am not there'. I'm thinking to myself, dude, that's really controlling, but because I was not doing well mentally, I just apologized and said it wouldn't happen again.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7444bf4e7ccb4cda8439d271b18a9cf0",
|
||
"input": "...and you were very patient with me and you were Fantastic.\" She didn't like it. She said that..\" that is inappropriate.\" ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f883100c207247fb8f267b98eadb9dd6",
|
||
"input": "I found a lost cat in my neighborhood a few days ago that exactly matches a cat who was reported lost the same day (very recently)\n\nHowever, this cat has all kinds of untreated health issues that go back several weeks at LEAST. The gender of the cats does not match, but other than that they’re identical... same neighborhood, same dates, same markings... but if it IS the same cat and the owner has the gender wrong, it must have never received veterinary care. That in addition to the many issues he is having makes me think that this owner must be completely oblivious to his needs or maybe just doesn’t care. \n\nIf I don’t pursue this further and keep him, potentially separating a loving owner and pet .... AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1a254c118c9a4a59b03257ffcb62c8f0",
|
||
"input": "I had this friend for a for a while, it went really well until he told me that he liked me in a romantic way, not a platonic one. anyway, I had kind of felt the same, but I told him no anyways due to the fact that I had no friends and I'd rather have a friend than a boyfriend. that, and I couldn't decide whether I liked him because I was lonely or if my feelings were genuine. This caused a few bumps in the road.as you can probably tell, I have a lot of problems of my own. \n\nhe started texting me whenever he would have a problem. usually, I'm fine with occasional rants, but he would discuss topics such as serious mental health problems; all the time. and as someone whos trying to get better, its really hard to be around that subject. It got to the point where he would have a problem everyday and he'd spam me about it while I was out and about. one specific time that I remember is when I went to LA with my dad. We don't go out all that often and so I was really looking forward to it however, my friend kept texting me about his problems while I was out, and he was expecting me to answer and be his therapist for a couple of minutes.\n\nI would often suggest he get professional help. He'd say he would use the resources I provided him but then he would come to me about two days later with issues again. At some point, I kind of just stopped replying all that much. this started the posts and spam messages. he would constantly send out posts about being so depressed, anxious, how he was good for nothing, etc. then when I wouldn't answer, he'd text me stuff like:\n\n\"hey, it's been awhile, are you okay?\" note: I wouldn't be gone for long; about two days or maybe 6. I can't remember an instance where he left me alone for entire week this past year. He would then follow up with those messages with extremely passive aggressive things, \"how hard is it to get a text back\", \"text me as soon as possible.\"\n\nNow, going back to how he mentioned he liked me in a romantic way. I followed one of his spam accounts and when I did, I realized he had posts about me. Lots of them. like, 4-6 posts with a caption consisting about 5 paragraphs about me. This just made me feel even worse, on top of the guilt trips he'd already make me endure. He obviously knew I followed that account, as he had to accept my follow request. At this point, I started feeling super queasy and paranoid. He was just so obsessive, manipulative and all around a bad presence now.\n\nI finally had enough. After hoping that my absence would make him look for some other stimulation, or make him realize that the friendship had run its course, I told him that I don't want to continue the friendship anymore. I told him I'm glad a few things are getting better and that I hope we could still be cordial towards one another. He didn't respond.\n\nAm I the Asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9f0d4c5cf8c0470d9dd326ef798048de",
|
||
"input": " \n\nI go to an online school now, and my aunt got a job there too. Receptionist I think. Teachers there are not required to put grades in as soon as an assignment is done, so completed assignments may go ungraded for 4-5 days. Near the end of each semester my aunt would get very pushy, and it was a little annoying, but still tolerable and understandable because from her end, she saw all these ungraded assignments. The really annoying part is that she would tell my mom, my mom would get mad, and then argue with me about how I'm lying to her. After a few more days, the grades would show up, and everyone would be happy again. 2 semesters in, I talked to my aunt about not believing the initial grade, and giving it another few days. Nothing changed for the next 3 semesters. This last one, she caused the biggest fight between my mother and I. That night I just took my daily and raced around some back roads for a few hours, came home, and stayed up til 1 am in my shop. Later that day I confronted my aunt, over text because she’s an hour away and didn’t feel like enough of a dick to call her during her working hours.\n\nMe: **You need to stop dragging mom into your disbelief of my grades. I'm sick and fucking tired of fighting with her every single grading period because you tell her I'm failing classes and not doing shit. I understand it's part of your job to let her know, but try doing what you said you’d do, and give whatever grade you're seeing a shred of doubt before you go getting mom mad at me. This is the fifth time I've dealt with this bullshit.**\n\n\n\nHer immediate response: **Stop acting like a 7 year old so I don't have to and we won't keep having these conversations. Because u do have an F in math. And you are going to have to take it again. Your fine in English and I told her that too. Trust me kid, you ate not the only one tired of thessle conversations. I want nothing more than to let you go. Sorry that I don't want you to fail. It's hard to watch and I cry a lot when you do.**\n\n****\n\n**I have a better idea. I am done. You're 17, you have it all figured out. I love you and i always will, but I am not your parent and this has ruined our friendship. So I am done. If you want help you can ask. Things have gotten too complicated and messy.**\n\n**And I think that we shouldn't talk for the next week so we can both cool off. That's best.**\n\n\n\nThe spelling is exactly as it was in the texts. And it may not be necessary information, but she is an obese and single 30 year old living in a house paid for by my grandma and spends her paychecks on The Sims and City Skylines. Drives a Hyundai Sonata bought using my grandpa’s money, and has an anxious dog that she feeds pot pills to. I work on a farm and own a mustang, sunfire, and continental and plan on buying and restoring an old run down house after college. \n\nThe only reason I put that in is to vent a little bit.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-39bc3123c48749488c0445f177d5b5bd",
|
||
"input": "Here's the situation, I'm a 14 year old in 8th grade, and It's after school, me and my friends walk in our usual routine, There are 3 other friends walking with me, Kent, Tyler, and Terry. Me and Kent talk about Terry, I bring up the time we said Terry had no neck (Terry is fat), Terry overhears. I need to do some more explaining for this, we're all part of a group of 9 or so friends who poke fun at each others, and others flaws, none of us take it seriously, it's just teasing, but, we always make sure we have the friend hear what we say, as we don't like to talk shit behind backs. Lots of times, there is some friendly roughhousing involved like piling on top of each other, or tackling one another, etc.. We each try not to cause harm, and if we do, it's purely accidental, as when we go too far, we make sure to ask if they're okay, or if they know it's just a joke. we apologise to each other if we know we went far. As I was saying, I say Terry has no neck, Terry started Hitting Kent's backpack with a stick as a joke Kent told Terry I said it, and started hitting my backpack as a joke, and hit my upper leg with the stick lightly. My mom picks me up at this spot, Terry and I laugh it out, but my mom See's this. as I get in the car with Terry (as he needed a ride) my mom tells Terry, \"Don't do what you don't want other's to do to you\" in Spanish. Terry does not understand Spanish, but Kent most likely does. As I walked into the car, Tyler Tells me what is going on. as a teen, I don't like other's standing up for me, I'm 14, not 5, we know the boundaries. I tell my mom, it was a joke, hoping for her to understand. Instead she and I have an argument where I try to explain my side. This goes on with how you expect it to, my mom argues that I can't let myself Be taken \"bullied\" of like that, while I tell her it was a joke, while Tyler is next to me is laughing quietly. After Tyler leaves at his house, me and Mom argue worse than before, since Tyler left, I was able to say things to my mom like, \"I hate it when you think I'm five\" and she would talk about how \"Tyler should have heard this to know that you're not comfortable with being pushed around\" I'm pretty mad at this, because I know that it's pure jokes (it's really just jokes). This goes on and on, She treats my argument Like a joke, so when I brought up points like how when Kent sprayed ketchup on me on accident, he apologized. all she replied with was \"Uh huh\" and never acknowledged it, but It was just an accident. Even worse is my dad told me that it would escalate from accident, into a fight. I explained the generosity of my friends, and how they say sorry, he said that's a lie. We argued, I tried being serious to my mom about it, by telling her I'm not a child anymore. she didn't take me seriously. They think I can't defend myself at all, although they're just trying to protect me. Am I the Asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b71f5b38aaba44209e6c71efbc448294",
|
||
"input": "Here’s the deal: My family is very close to our neighbors, they’re pretty much an extension of our family and I personally respect and adore them. \nIn 2015 I joined them for thanksgiving (my whole family out of town, I stayed cuz I had too much hw from college so no issues there) and their 26 year old nephew from NYC joined us. From the moment he walked in he gave me a weird vibe. \n\nAnyways, at the time my phone had a corner “popping out” if that makes any sense, like I needed to take it somewhere to fix it so the screen would be even. I made a comment about it to me neighbor and this guy went “I can fix that!” Takes my phone and presses on it HARD, aaand my screen shattered (and mind you Im a broken college student living at home) he just gave it back to me “I tried” I was LIVID. His aunt was completely horrified. At this point Im like “leave it, dont make a scene at their house, we’ll have to deal with it later”. We sat at the table and his aunt goes “you know you have a job and should help her pay for the screen you shattered” he looked straight at me and went “yea, maybe in her dreams” WTF? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I didnt even ask for help! At the end I just left after dinner and was able to save some money and fix it myself. My family wasnt happy about it but we’re thankful I wasn’t rude to anybody. They simply asked me to be friendly to the guy for our neighbors.\n\nEver since, he messages me on fb or instagram at least once every couple of months. For the last 4 YEARS, he tries to get me to come to NYC, or his “art shows” in miami, etc. I never reply and he is always trying to play nice “hey I just wanna know how you’re doing” My neighbor is always saying he does that cuz they know he is attracted to me and feels guilty about what happened... and is not used to girls avoiding him. \n\nMy friend thinks I should be civil and need to move on from what happened. But I just dont want to talk to him? I wont even go to my neighbor’s if he’s there. And my family dont want me to block him to avoid issues with his family. I told him years ago I probably would never attend one of his art shows, not interested but he is still messaging me. (Some people want to tell me he is just being friendly or that Im being childish for not going to their house when he is there but I dont see it that way)\n\nAITA for ignoring him and not move on from the 2015 incident? Last month I got 3 messages from him and audio begging to talk to me and catch up, but honeslty I just dont want anything to do with him. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d13c2c56a60e4240865adb09f0386ac9",
|
||
"input": "In the past year I've been with this girl a few times at the end of a big night of drinking. It's been a friends with benifits thing, nothing serious. But between the last time I was with her (maybe 6 months max?) she and my friend have been snapchatting/msging each other. So I know there was something goin on.\n\nAnyway, last night had a few beers in celebration of a event we had and by the end of the night she was dragging me to bed. \n\nI didnt think much of it considering I'd done it before, but after waking up this morning I feel guilty/regretful. Not sure I should feel this way?\n\nAITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5f4cea9d5ec1478483b60c7c57f71137",
|
||
"input": "Ok hear me out. My hair is currently very long, and my housemate is a hairdresser. She recently was like 'Oh I'll cut everyone's hair!' and she already did my other housemate. Great job, all good.\n\nNow the problem. I've been wanting to go super short for a while, which is what I used to have. So I asked if she could do it? And also I offered to pay if she wanted since giving a short haircut to a woman can be a lot of work.\n\nInstantly I could tell I made a mistake. Her eyes got huge and she went into diplomacy mode. Oh she'd go short, but let's do medium-short because I can always go shorter, right?\n\nOh crap, I think, she doesn't want to give me a really short haircut and then live with me if I get offended. I scared her. No amount of insisting would convince her that actually I won't care however it turns out. \n\nIn the end she gives me a cut and cuts off literally an inch, and my hair went from very, very long to merely very long. It's nice, but?? My friends laughed at my new short hair when I showed them.\n\nNow my question, I still want *actually* short hair, and I don't want to put pressure on my housemate. WIBTA if I go to a salon? Or am I stuck now with long hair forever? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7e00e7ad146f4dd4831c16c528a06f8c",
|
||
"input": "This argument started when my girlfriend and I were laying out our plans for the future, and according to her, she's now rethinking having a future with me at all. I think she's not understanding what I'm saying or is naive about parenthood.\n\nI told her that there's no way when we have children that we will be able to split the load completely evenly. There are biological components to motherhood that come into play, like maternal instincts and post partum bonding and such, that require the mother to spend more time with the child immediately after birth. Additionally, because of this, it is often more likely feasible for the mother to stay home or at least be the primary parent for the child, in addition to economic factors that usually result in the man being the breadwinner and the woman being the primary parent. Thus, odds are, she will be the primary parent for our children for a variety of reasons, and there is no way we will be able to have a completely equal split. \n\nShe told me she will not have a child with a man who does not agree to split the work evenly, while I am arguing that it is not possible, particularly right after birth but also down the line. She is reconsidering our relationship now and I need to know if I'm being the asshole or being logical.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4492561dbd78418585bbfd913218962c",
|
||
"input": "I know Reddit loves to make fun of antivaxxers, but I'm legitimately wondering about this one. \n\n\n\nMy father has really put up a stink about getting Tdap (Whooping Cough booster) because he doesn't want to put that \"poison\" into his body. We then told him that it's his choice, but it's also our choice to not let him see the baby until she can start her immunizations. We've seen a number of babies in our area suffer from whooping cough, and my wife and I promised eachother that we would take every precautionary measure to make sure our baby doesn't get it. It's awful.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7072e023515244b89ed58e7317efd886",
|
||
"input": "So I (m20) am friends with a couple (m24 & f20) I went over to play some games with the Male and he had a xbox set up in the living room and bedroom. He put me in the bedroom and right away I noticed a couple of dildos on the floor. I didnt make a big deal about it because I'm not 10 but now that I'm thinking about it should I have said something? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-87518aa546ac4999b4b28bf47bb986ce",
|
||
"input": "A friend of mine is notoriously bad at paying out his losing bets and I've had to \"chase\" him for months several times to close his bets with me (a few hundred bucks and he can definitely afford it). Finally, pay back presents itself. He's the banker and co-organizer for a bachelor party we are organizing for a common friend. He's put down deposits and requested people send him cash so he's not out of pocket for long. We're talking about $2000 USD total for the week per person. No problem, I look at the breakdown of costs to make sure I'm not overpaying as I don't want him to owe me money at the end of it as I suspect it's going to be a bitch to get it back from him. I notice that they overcharged me $150, innocent mistake, I bring it to their attention and they tell me, np just pay us $1850. I send it. Incidentally right after I send payment, the other organizer says that the amount was for contingency / incidentals, but no big deal we'll just settle at the end. A few days later, he brings the subject up again saying it's not fair to the group that I didn't pay the extra $150. I explain that he said it was fine and I also let him know that the banker has been a notoriously slow payer to me and I don't want to have a balance owed to me by him by the end of this. He disagrees as my issue with my friend has nothing to do with the group (which I don't think makes any sense since a balance will likely be owed one way or another). AITA for withholding the $150?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ddd3909ac3da4ffba6f93df4067d3bb7",
|
||
"input": "I'll try and keep thing brief cause my other post was too long\n\n​\n\nI hate going out. Every single time I've been assulted - kissed against my will, grabbed, creeped on, touched etc, so I just don't go out.\n\n​\n\nHowever, it's my universities O week so I decided that I would go out with some of my new friends to a couple bars and have fun. I was sober D so while I didn't drink I did have a pretty good time.\n\n​\n\nUntil, after deciding to get some food from a nearby McDonalds with a friend, we decided to leave. We went back to the bar to find them and I waited outside while he went in cause I've hurt my leg and didn't feel like trying to navigate a packed bar of drunks. I also didn't expect to be waiting that long.\n\n​\n\nHowever, my friends decided that he wanted to dance a bit more and told me he would be staying for a while. Okay, I'm not happy with this as I am already scared being outside alone even though I was near the security guards in a lit area, but, I decide sure whatever, he's having fun, I can wait a bit longer.\n\n​\n\nNot even 2 minutes after that decision a lot of loud aggressive people show up and are denied entrance to the bar which freaks me out as the loiter a bit nearby me. They move off, but now I'm really on edge and just want to go. Then again, a minute later, a very drunk man who was denied entrance several times started to talk to me, and started leaning on me heavily, trying to make me look at him etc. I move off and stand just inside the bar by the guards scared out of my mind, unable to actually reach him cause of the amount of people around me.\n\n​\n\nFriend shows up and as we walk to my car I have a go at him saying that I didn't like being left outside and that he shouldn't have changed the plans like that when we didn't have very good contact with each other, and that I had been terrified.\n\nHe apologised, and I appreciate that, however, due to me being fully drained and very close to a meltdown I didn't really talk on the way home which I don't think he liked.\n\nHe started saying I shouldn't have gotten so angry, and at least he waas honest etc.\n\n​\n\nNow it's about 45 minutes later and I've been home for a while and I feel like shit. I'm thinking I shouldn't have been so angry, and that he's right and I am overreacting, and that this is a situation I put myself in.\n\n​\n\nSo Reddit, I think I ATA, what do you think?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a020fbeaaaaf44afb3fb954f6e94f721",
|
||
"input": "So some context. My school has a big field trip where they go to a big city. It is only for band choir or orchestra. Sorry for spelling and formatting. I'm on mobile. \n\nUp at my family's camper my brother kept using my earbuds and breaking them. He broke three fucking pairs.\n\nMy parents bought him two pairs of earbuds and I asked why he needs two pairs. He said that if one broke the othor will be useful. So my mom said to my brother that I was trying to steal a pair of his earbuds. I then stormed off. \n\nI was slightly angry that my brother got two pairs of earbuds after breaking three of mine. I was more angry that he got the earbuds for a stupid reason.\n\nAITA for being angry at my brother for breaking my earbuds or is it just childish?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5efa0f7308ac49019112e70f3f0411da",
|
||
"input": "I’m (24F) in a fairly new relationship with this guy, let’s call him M (23M); we’ve been together for about 3 months. He’s slightly more “traditional” in some ways; he likes to open doors for me, wants me to walk in front of him, etc. (this is relevant). \n\nWe live in a huge city, and it’s extremely common for people to cross the street when the WALK sign is not lit if there are no cars coming, or even if there are cars but they are a block or more away. I noticed recently that when we’re out together, whenever I try to cross the street like this-- even when other people are also crossing-- his reflex is to snatch my arm and pull me back, as if I were about to run in front of a car. At first, I found it kind of endearing, like “aw, he’s worried about my safety”, and chalked it up to his other “traditional” behaviors, but now I’ve started to dislike it; it startles me, is unnecessary and feels a little insulting, like he doesn’t trust me to handle myself. I hadn’t said anything until last night because I still felt that his intentions were good.\n\nCut to last night. We were heading back home after drinking with friends. I was definitely drunk but not blacked out or sloppy; I wasn’t falling over or confused. I started to cross a street that had very slow traffic, but I was not near a car and there were lots of other people crossing. He grabbed me and pulled me back as he usually does, and at that moment, it pissed me off. I didn’t say anything, but I yanked my arm back and continued crossing without him. \n\nOnce we were alone, we got into an argument about it; me giving him attitude by pulling away really hurt him. He said that he was just trying to look out for my safety, it wasn’t just because I was girl and he would have done that with any of his friends, and he thought I was going to run in front of a car because I was drunk. He was mad enough that he said didn’t want to see me for a couple days. \n\nI apologized and thanked him for looking out for me, and explained how it made me feel. He apologized too, but he’s still unhappy with me. Reddit what should I do? AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4bf8b75965514e80bade4c0192133899",
|
||
"input": "This happened a couple of nights ago but my anxiety is making me fixate on it. I was driving home from work at night and it was pretty foggy out so I turned on my fog lights. (Side note: I've probably only used them twice since getting my car, and I did see other vehicle also using theirs.) Eventually, while driving down some poorly lit back roads I catch up to a car going about 15 mph on 35 mph roads. I end up coasting behind them and using my brakes often, but I still maintained at least one car's distance between us. Also, they had been going that slow before I even got behind them. It was frustrating being stuck going slower than I wanted, but I figured they were just driving the speed they felt comfortable with considering the dense fog.\n\nAfter driving behind them for about 3 blocks they throw on their hazards. Now I'm thinking maybe something is wrong with their car? Except they turn them back off again after a few seconds. Finally, we both arrive at a light and wait to turn left onto a wider road. \n\nAfter turning into the inner lane of this wider road I wait about 10 seconds for them to move into the slower lane because they are still only going about 20 (this new road is 55). They didn't move so I gave up, signalled, and went around them.\n\nAs I am getting up to the speed limit, they start accelerating to match my speed. The passenger then sticks his arm out the the window and flips me off. I ignored them figuring they were just dumb teenagers, but after I passed them they got behind me and turned their high beams on nearly the whole way to my turn off.\n\nIt wasn't until later that night that I wondered if they thought my fog lights were my high beams.\n\nSo AITA for not turning my fog lights off around another car? Or did they have irrational road rage?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b0ab856e7d3341ac812493de6fc46e5d",
|
||
"input": "I (35M) was married to my ex wife (33F) for 3 years and together for 4. I’ve been with my current wife (34F) for 8 years and I love her more than words can explain. We have a 4 year old daughter. I have no kids with my ex. \n\nMy wife and I divorced because we eventually found that we were incompatible. I met my current wife a year after our divorce. We got married 6 years ago. \n\nA few months ago my ex wife reached out to me. She wanted me to know that her brother (46M) passed away. He was battling cancer for a long time. I was still with my ex when we found out. I was pretty good friends with him and kept in touch with him every now and then. One thing lead to another and we were telling each other about our lives. We’ve been talking ever since. \n\nI do admit that we’ve talked about our relationship and what we could’ve done to fix it. There’s been some pretty emotional conversations. I believe the farthest it has gone is us agreeing that we should have tried harder to work through our problems. I’ve also told her about some of my personal issues I’ve had instead of telling my wife. She has also been emotionally relying on me for the past few months. \n\nYesterday, my wife saw our messages. I was never hiding them but I also never told her we were still talking. She does know that we talked about her brother for a little bit. She was crying and went to work without saying goodbye. When she got home she went straight to the guest room and locked herself in there. I’m not sure what to do but I obviously still and will always care for my ex wife. We were married after all. \n\nI’m not sure if my wife is the asshole or if I am. I feel like she can’t expect me to not care for my ex wife. I don’t think she understands because I’m her first husband. \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a3f56e40810f4b648dee1ab47db9d402",
|
||
"input": "I just wanna say, I am fine with people using bases. That's what they are for. But this situation was different.\n\n​\n\nRight so basically, I was in a discord server with about 4 other people. These people knew each other in real life, so they were very close with each other. Let's call them Chloe, Sam, Jill, and Tim. Anyways, there was a channel in the discord for art. Someone would show off their art and everyone else would compliment the art. But Chloe's art was a bit suspicious.\n\n​\n\nHer digital art looked very nice. Very good anatomy. That didn't bother me. But when I went to look at the art on her Instagram, something didn't add up. Her traditional art was very poor compared to her digital art. That's when I figured out she was using bases. But I decided to keep quiet since I might not have all the facts. Perhaps everyone else knew that she used bases and I was just out of the loop.\n\n​\n\nA few weeks later she shows another piece of art and Sam compliments the anatomy. That was a red flag. I felt that these people didn't know that she was using bases. I guess it ticked me off that she was basically claiming that all the art was her's. Someone worked hard on making these bases, it didn't feel right. So I went on the internet and found the base. Then I basically exposed her. I didn't want to go all out so I tried to casually bring it up.\n\n​\n\nMe: That's a nice base... who made it? (I suppose maybe this could have come off as a bit rude)\n\nJill: That's a base?!\n\nTim: Dude...\n\nSam: I don't think that's a base?\n\nTim: That doesn't matter.. you don't call someone out like that\n\nSam: They were just asking an innocent question\n\nMe: Yeah!\n\n​\n\nChloe ended up leaving the server. But she ended up coming back a few days later. We ignored the incident but every once in a while Chloe or Tim would call call me an asshole or something like that. So, am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f2ba361d56dd444196561cc25acf2011",
|
||
"input": "I know this looks like an April fool's post but I'm totally serious.\n\nI frequently get custard at Culver's, and have recently started getting milkshakes. I like my milkshakes in **vanilla** custard with chocolate syrup. The first few times I ordered it this way, it was perfect, but now they say \"ok, so a chocolate shake?\" And I say \"no, a vanilla shake with chocolate syrup\" and they say those are the same thing, so I'm like whatever. I get a chocolate custard shake with nothing else in it. I can tell the difference because vanilla with syrup is a much different taste than plain chocolate custard. It also looks a lot different as well. This has happened 2-3 times now where I request vanilla with chocolate syrup and am given chocolate custard, and it's starting to get really frustrating.\n\nIf I *am* the ass here, how could I better explain it?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3c93b3ca9a9648ddbd394ae9697dfa75",
|
||
"input": "So a little context, \nMy fathers health has been declining since last year. Last June we moved everything over into a trust and got his will in order, and set up a full power of attorney for me. We put me as a co trustee so I can add things too it and manage it should the need arise. I took full control of his finances and accounts. In September he had a stroke and this exacerbated things with his health even more so. \nHe is currently bed bound un able to walk but still has his mind and wits about him, even though he’s a little slower. \n\nWe always had a family plan and he paid for my grandmas phone bill also, but I always paid him for my portion. Through the years he’s given me several small loans for things, and we had a book to keep track of it. I always paid it down and kept up to date with it. Closer to me taking over his finances and basically entire life, he wasn’t tracking things as much or not really worried about me paying him right away or anything. \n\nI switched the phone account into my name so I could make necessary changes but kept the bill to his account. Since taking over I haven’t paid it back in several months, but keep diligent track of all other transactions. \n\nI set him up on state disability, social security, take care of all his insurance issues, found him an assisted living place, and am currently getting his house ready to rent (insane amount of work) so he has more income coming in when disability runs out. I brought my roommates over to help clean out his house and took them out to dinner and paid with his card to say thanks.\n\nHere’s the AITA part. I’m doing all I can for my dad, and have his best interests in mind, but I also don’t want to take advantage of the situation. He’s absolutely fine on money and did a great job setting himself up for retirement, but I’m also not trying to feel entitled because it’s his money, not mine. I asked my mom about it and she said I shouldn’t worry cause I’ve already saved him a ton of money anyway and it’s a “cost of doing business” type of thing. But I’m not sure if it’s a bias with me being her kid. \n\nAdded info, mom and dad are separated but still good friends, also am an only child.\n\nTLDR: Haven’t paid back my dad for phone bill, but have complete POA and am helping him out with his entire life.\n\nEdit: talked with him about it. Go figure, the simplest conclusion didn’t cross my mind.\nHe said not to worry about it and to keep my conscience guilt free.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bb4d4f2c7c70417493e36e05a1f3fecc",
|
||
"input": "Tl;dr at bottom, it got lengthy \n\nSo about two years ago I ordered food on my phone from Panera Bread. I parked my car (within the lines) in the Togo parking spot that has a ten minute maximum. The parking lot was really full as it was lunch time and this place is right next to a military base. I go inside, make my drink, grab my bag and head back out. There’s a woman putting in her baby’s car seat in the spot next to mine and she is blocking my way to the driver door so I just stand and wait. After a few moments she hits my car with her door, but hey she’s got her hands full and my car has been through worse so I don’t say anything. She hit it a few times just trying to adjust the car seat and get it buckled correctly. Then she looks up and sees me waiting. She tells me essentially that I am not allowed to park next to her since she has a baby on board sticker and that it’s my fault she hit my door because I should have known that. I told her I didn’t pay attention to her car when I was parking and that she could’ve loaded her car from the other side (which was empty) or she could park farther away if she needs more room (she was directly in front of the door) and that since I’m in the lines and did not exceed my time I did absolutely nothing wrong. In the end she argued a bit, flipped me off and I grumbled “fuck you too, lady”. I’m not sure if she heard me or not. I know it was unnecessary to say that it was just me being angry at how entitled and snotty she was. \nI assumed that since the baby was fairly small she was just tired and grumpy overall. So AITA? Do people actually not park next to people who have those signs. I thought those were just for emergency services in case of a crash. It’s been two years and I still think about it whenever I see one. \n\nTL;DL: Lady says I should not of parked next to her because she had a “baby on board” sign and I was blocking her from fully opening her back door even though I was in my lines. We argue a little and she flips me off so I said “fuck you too” AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6f7a8ed53dc44a409ffedb1a36c77eef",
|
||
"input": "My GF and I have been together for about 3 years now. We have repeatedly discussed taking a 6 months - 1 year trip to asia when we are done studying and before we start working. \n\nShe finished her education about a year ago and have been doing some trainee work since then. \nI have about a year left at law school which I started before we met.\n\nShe has grown restless of the situation and just about demanded me to take a break from school for at least a semester so we could travel.\n\nThis would cause me not to graduate at the same time as my close friends that have been alongside me since the start of law school. As in any other education the sense of comradery between students is strong and very important for me. I also have grown tierd of studying all day and late nights but I fear I might not finish my education if I took a semester off.\n\nAn ultimatum she presented to me was basically: \"Come with me or I will go alone and we are done\"\nMy response was somewhere along the lines of: \"I am staying, I've got one more year but if you can't wait for me then go\" \nShe was pissed and left to stay at her parents 3 days ago\n\nAITA for not wanting to take a study break? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9468393045ff426daf027c515fd4e6ed",
|
||
"input": "This will still be super long, I tried to stick to the most important parts butttt....\n\nLong story short, a coworker and very good friend of mine for several years got divorced several years ago. He always had a hard time with his money and started getting mixed up with some bad girlfriends. Nothing too bad at first, just very unhealthy relationships such as he would chase after girls for months at a time while the girl bounced between him and their baby daddy. \n\nThis goes on for over a year, all the while I stay as supportive as possible while also trying to be a bro and tell him to stop falling for these chicks. His money situation starts getting worse and worse. Hes months behind on bills but would spend his tax return on a 50\" TV because \"he needed a new one\". Whatever, I can deal with this I just tell him I think hes an idiot. \n\nNow hes with a girl who he moves her and her two kids in. She has a drug history. She relapsed and moves in and out for about a year. It gets to the point where he is paying all of her bills and living expenses. Long story short again, he calls me one night after being bailed out of jail. His story is that he went to his girlfriends \"aunt\"s house to get her some cold medicine, went in the wrong house on accident, they called the cops and he got pulled over later and arrested because he met the description. Now I read the police report because I didnt believe him. \n\nHe went to a known drug house, he did go into the wrong address and almost got shot, got arrested on a felony drug charge, and then lied about it. He also had a large amount of cash on him. He was asked to resign from his job while under investigation. We all knew he wouldn't get his job back. After reading the report and talking to the city manager, he also lied to her about the story. \n\nI should mention, we both work in public safety and I had recently gotten my dream, full time job. After all of this went down, I immediately cut him off. I did not want to be involved in this in any way. I didnt want to risk my job or the way people view me by this, especially on probation. I think I am the asshole for straight cutting him out of my life without warning, but between a fulltime job, fulltime school and the positive people in my life, I felt like I had to. After years of him not taking my advice or listening to me, I couldn't handle the stress of listening to him talk about his money and girlfriend situation 4 times a week whenever I saw him. \n\nAfter about 4 months of no interaction with him, I finally broke down and apologized. I told him I was sorry for ignoring him but I had to focus on myself. What made me feel like less of an asshole was his response. He said stuff along the lines of \"shows you who is really your friend\" and \"I needed you to back me so I could get my job back\". Like sorry man, I had your back through the tough times and YOU never listened, it was always about you. I cant put my career at risk for literally LYING about your past. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2c3708988ef44647a8b3b41d5a691e0b",
|
||
"input": "I developed strong romantic feelings for a girl I've been friends with for a few years now. After a couple months of this I asked her out and she turned me down. I thought ok no problem. We'll just stay friends no big deal. Well its been about a month since she turned me down and honestly the feelings haven't faded at all and it hurts to be around her now. So I've been declining to hang out with mutual friends when I know she'll be there and I leave early if I can if she shows up.\n\nHonestly at this point I am thinking about either just explaining that I can't be friends with her anymore because it hurts OR just ghosting her completely. It isn't her fault I'm like this, but I think for my own mental well being I need to end our friendship. I've mentioned this to a few of my friends and they think it would be shitty of me to end a friendship because I can't get over my attraction to her. Is this an asshole move?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6a1829b46d644e00abaa06af102d269a",
|
||
"input": "So, I've recently moved back to my hometown after dropping out of college. I was pretty embarrassed so I didn't really tell anybody that I was moving back (it has been about a month now.) \n\nSo anyway, there are definitely a few people that I've been meaning to hang out with, but haven't been able to work up the courage in fear of being perceived as a loser/failure etc. There's this one girl I know mostly from the internet really but we went to high school together and I've talked to her at the local bars around here for example. We were never really that close just DM'd a few times. I knew she still lived around our hometown (and she is single) so I wanted to surprise her in a funny way letting her know that I was back and maybe we can hangout or whatever. This is where I may have crossed the line?\n\nHer dad was the coach of the boys' lacrosse team when I was in high school so I was honestly probably closer to him than her, but regardless I was able to find their address from searching his name online. On Valentine's Day I went over to the house intending on just handing it directly to her but no one was home. I was already freaked out and anxious from the whole thing and I kept second guessing myself but I didn't want to give up. I also didn't want to leave the stuff in the rain so I tried the doors/windows just to leave it in a dry spot. The window was open so I just placed it down inside on top of an end table. I bought the most traditional fucking gift I possibly could have so I don't know how it could be perceived differently, I just got flowers and a small box of chocolates, and a small card that was supposed to be ironically funny (it was just like a get well soon card) that I wrote \"I'm Back!\" on the inside. I was planning on messaging her saying it was me at like 6, figured she would be back from work by then. \n\nFast forward a little bit that day, watching her instagram story she was NOT amused and definitely a little freaked out from what I could tell. I honestly just thought it would be funny but now I am afraid to tell her it was me, does that make me an asshole? I just want this whole thing to disappear.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-99e9cb1e3c5e48ed91505007ba52d9b8",
|
||
"input": "Tell me ur opinions about it down in the comment section. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fb1ac5096eba4e3cb8e569ee8b5b31ab",
|
||
"input": "Probably petty but interested in response. Been talking to this guy for 2 weeks now, had first date one week after starting to talk went well, had second date on Wednesday just gone (it’s Friday here now (Australia). On the date I said some things he’s said over the last week have been a bit full on (planning way ahead) just to be fully transparent but that it hasn’t freaked me out I just wanted to let him know I just wanna take things slow, he understood. We made plans on Wednesday night to hang out on Friday night (again, now) just to watch a movie. This would have been the third date. I’ve had a ridiculously long week had about 4 hours sleep and worked from 7am-5pm with about half an hour break. He asked me around 5:30pm if we’re grabbing dinner or if he should get something himself. I said I feel horrible but I’m absolutely shattered and would probably just fall asleep, and said can we do Sunday I said I’d take him out to lunch I’ll pay and we’ll watch a movie. I haven’t received a response. Now I think after him thinking I wanted out of the relationship plus now cancelling the date he thinks I’m not interested anymore. AITA for rescheduling a date when he already has doubts about me?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1cd390d079204eeda6f8ea66cbd0ad75",
|
||
"input": "This is something I've been doing pretty thoughtless for a while now... not sure why I'm just now realizing that it might be an enormous dick move, but here I am. \n\nAnyway, when I see something that might make for a cool gif on Instagram or some such, I'll occasionally post it on one of the popular subs. I always credit the creator (if possible). A good few of them have hit the front page. And while this is obviously a popularity spike for the person who appears in the gif, it also necessarily generates the kind of attention that a person might not want (like, not everyone wants to go viral, ya know?). I haven't had any complaints thus far, and one person did thank me for the boost, I still have very mixed feelings about the ethics of this practice. Thinking maybe I should quit doing it... or at least ask first, I guess.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-150bdc4b8c6c4438935b752499fc4436",
|
||
"input": "In a movie lesson, I was set up to edit this unique movie that YouTube had to do. I've been looking for someone to do me and my Demanding Instructor (DI) to tell me and to make the decision.\n\nWhen I try to explain to him what I'm doing that I can do to make a mistake without it, I have been told to only make a diarrhea treatment with a muscle and compressor to something . This can not be done for many reasons. For one thing, it was a great surprise for me to miss the joy of such a solution. Secondly, the risk of such a course will stimulate long-term exposure. As a result, I need to get RETURN at any time to give me a portion of the program on every product if I do and do the next thing.\n\nAfter finding a search for an inventory site, DI got another one to fix it and told me that I had missed my opportune time because I was not listening. He was convinced that I had done something he had to say was a horrible counterfeit that he wanted to correct, but it was not done for the player who made the download and it was only a bit strange to what I was saying, how to accomplish it. I tried to think with DI but only complained about listening to hearing. Am I the asshole in any way?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-429873b6c30e43ed998238b5129c218b",
|
||
"input": "AITA\nI don't want to go pick him up. He is mentally ill and has been in a state of psychosis, he was hospitalized and supposed to get out today. He called yesterday finally after 4 days to tell me that he was cutting his family off and going to live in the streets. \n\nHe said he wants me to come get him, he wants to get a hamburger, he wants to come to my house and get his shit (he was living with us), MAYBE we'll talk.\n\nWhy should I go get him?\nAm I the asshole because I think if he doesn't need us then he can find his own way to come get his stuff?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6696ea789116451babb53057484e2bc3",
|
||
"input": "So my boyfriend and i mainly play ranked to climb up and lately he’s kind of being up my ass about doing specific things. Things like “you’re missing CS” or “why didn’t you heal” just being very demanding and wanting me to play in a specific manner. He says it’s criticism and that whenever I get upset, he says “I don’t take criticism well”. I’ve played league since season 1 and only recently started taking ranked slightly seriously but not too obsessively. My boyfriend offered to help me climb up and at first, it was fun but now, it’s low key becoming like a chore. We’ve had these type of talks about his behaviour throughout, and although he does acknowledge it, it’s kind of a repetitive “I’m sorry” thing. I feel kind of an asshole for not wanting to play because of this sole reason, since he expressed that he’s doing this for me and that he wants to see me improve. And also because he emphasized that he wants to play this game because he wants to be with me.\nSo reddit, am I the asshole?\n\nTLDR; boyfriend giving me “advice” on league, sounds too demanding, makes me want to not play with him.\nSorry for format, on mobile.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a33919b9405e41a58574e7f7172feae3",
|
||
"input": "TLDR at bottom.\n\nSo went to a nice dinner with my friends to celebrate my recent move. I reserved a table at a nicer restaurant with entrees around $35-$60. In all honesty I had no idea the entrees were this expensive. Anyway my friend and I are in a tight money situation so we made it very clear we could not afford this dinner as soon as we sat down. \n\nMy other friend Alice decided to be very generous and offer to pay for both my friend and I. Everybody was drinking and we declined but eventually ended up ordering entrees. In retrospect staying at this restaurant was a bad idea anyway because of the money situation. Wine was ordered and everybody got absolutely hammered.\n\nWhen the check comes Alice -who offered to pay - says that the other three people should split the check with her evenly. In effect my roommates ended up shouldering a massive bill and my friend and I’s dinner/tab. \n\nToday we made amends and I am going to cover the portion of their bill they each shouldered. I am not asking Alice for money as I am not entitled to it. \n\nMy question is if I am the asshole for reserving a dinner I cannot afford (unknowingly) and putting everyone in an uncomfortable position?\n\nTLDR: set up a nice dinner I cannot afford and my roommates ended up paying for me.\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-78c23a10b34b4290a3cd3708fe78de2e",
|
||
"input": "This weekend we're supposed to make the drive to spend the weekend with my SO's parents. I'm a student so I have tons to do always but I've also just been in a bad depression for the last week or so. It's not that I don't want to see them, I just don't think I have the emotional energy to do it right now. I think a weekend home alone could help me get back on track and in a better headspace but my SO gets bummed out when I bring up the idea of them going alone. Am I being a selfish dick for not wanting to go? Do I have grounds to just say I'm staying home to be depressed? (Side note, I am also considering the fact that a trip and good company could help. I'm just not sure it's best in this instance)",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c7b2939ec6c448f19bc6c94ec5b43cb2",
|
||
"input": "So basically I have known this guy since I was in 7th grade. We are both 23 years old and we have always been good friends but I can't help feeling like I was a little *too* straight up with what I said to him. I went a little too far but I felt it needed to be said. Anyway, here we go. \n\n\nSo this guy, I'll refer to him as Steven, doesn't have a job and isn't actively looking for one either. He gets money from his parents as a type of 'allowance' because they don't work either and get government money because of medical reasons. He basically lives in his room most days watching Twitch and makes videos on YouTube in his free time that basically only me and one of our other friends very occasionally watch. Fair enough, he has an interest and he enjoys doing it which is completely fine with me, but I always just lightly and in a peaceful manner remind him to keep it as a hobby and to keep an eye out for something to support himself and to which he agrees. Only he never does anything about it. \n\n\nHe always tells me how he is having a hard time and he never has the money to do anything with, to which he never really tells me *why* he is always so short seeing he literally gets given money for doing nothing. He would always give me a vague reason but I always just believed him, he was my friend why would he lie to me I guess? However just this weekend it was finally revealed as to why, and this was how it happened. \n\n\nOn Saturday me and Steven were hanging out so we went to the movies to see Overlord (which was fairly average really) but surprise surprise as we got to the ticket booth he was a little short on cash so I stumped up for his cinema ticket once again. I am mostly used to it at this point but for some reason on that particular day it really got to me how I have probably spent more on Steven than I have my own Mother over the years. After we got to our seats I asked him what happened to his money seeing he told me on Wednesday night his parents gave him his 'allowance' because there was no chance in hell it was already gone, it had been two days. I looked him dead in the eye and just waited for the response, to which he finally and rather sheepishly told me he has used it all by donating it to god damn Twitch streamers. \n\n​\n\nI literally sat there for a good 10 minutes speechless. All this time I have been paying for this guy over so many years for anything we do has all been because he has literally given away any money he has ever had. Every single last penny. I finally after staring into thin air trying to comprehend what he has just told me asked him why? Apparently he would rather, and I quote, 'let them have it and not give it to big companies because they have enough money as it is'. \n\n\nThat was the last straw for me. I knew I had to say something because I felt like he not only had been mooching off me for so long but also his parents. It all suddenly became so clear to me that the reason he never has money is because he *gives it away.* I presumed he was using it to buy things like groceries or I don't know, maybe to pay bills with, is that too much to presume? Thank god the room we were in was empty because I couldn't keep it in. I told him that all this time he has been wasting his money on complete strangers he doesn't even know, and has basically been coming up with excuses as to why he never had money. I told him right there and then that is the last time I'm ever paying for him again. He doesn't like to give his money to big companies but he gives it away to strangers? He is happy enough for me to use all of my money on him to give to these companies? No. Enough. I told him how stupid he has been getting his money for nothing and using the money that his parents have given to him and wasted it, money they could have used on themselves for things they actually need to get by. \n\n​\n\nWhile I was saying this something in me clicked again and this is where I feel I went a little too far, but I told him that he is never going to get by in life if he doesn't get his life together and get a job, quit making YouTube videos that no one ever watches apart from me that from now on I won't be. He needs to get a job and to stop living like an ignorant child. If he doesn't accept that he has to get on with life and live in the society of the current world he is going to be on the streets once his parents are gone. I know that last part was a little over the top, but I want him to realize this is no way to live, this isn't normal. If he continues on like this much longer he is going to have it hard for real. I see him completely differently now, and I feel like I don't want to be around him anymore. All this time I thought he was using his money to support himself, but no. He was wasting it and using both me and his parents. He got up and walked out, I haven't seen him or heard from him since. Frankly I don't want to. \n\n\nTell me Reddit, am I the asshole? \n\n\nTL;DR: A friend/now ex friend of mine was always short on money even though he gets it from his parents for doing nothing so I would always spot him some or pay for him. Find out after years of knowing him the real reason he never has money because he gives it all away to Twitch streamers. Tell him he has basically been using me and wasting his own money and what I think of it, end friendship. \n\n​\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4f756c34db1b42f8a2074160b8583432",
|
||
"input": "I’ve been working as the only dishwasher for a year. I have to come in and wash the previous shift’s dishes then keep up with the flow of dishes for my shift without a machine mind you, we only have a 3 compartment sink. There has been countless promises on promoting me to a different position in the kitchen or working as a server. I’ve been hounding my manager to move me to a serving position but it’s falling on deaf ears and he continues to hire servers. Yesterday was a particularly busy morning shift and my station was fuller than usual and I just broke down mentally. I told my manager that my grandma recently left the hospital and is returning to her home country (which is true but I’ve already visited her) and I need to see her. I walked out and now I’m going back and forth on weather or not I should come in today.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f9f9b5c622c94c9dbb9b899dfae91a8f",
|
||
"input": "Our company hired a coworker which is utterly unqualified, lied on their cv and does not grasps even the basic despite somehow possessing a bachelors degree. I utterly despise her for her work ethics since she ties down at least one person to 'support' her during the day. Despite her clear lack of skills / experience she is very egoistic and always tries to put the spotlight on herself. \n\nHer attitude does not affect our professional \"working\"-relationship but as soon as me and my colleague are on lunch break I try everything to exclude her from anything we do and my colleague shares the same mindset.\n\nFor some reason she seems to target only me and my colleague as her potential lunch break \"friends\".\n\n​\n\nUp until now I had to bluntly tell her twice that and why she is not welcome and she started crying and throwing a tantrum afterwards.\n\nAITA for excluding her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-972bdccb3be645618a7583ed7e3d7574",
|
||
"input": "My friend wants to leave on Sunday meanwhile I want to leave on Saturday because there's a snowstorm suppose to hit on Saturday night. Am I the asshole to say, \"I'm leaving with or without you\" to my friend?\n\nI'm conflicted because I'm not sure how bad the roads will be on the eight hour journey and a good friend while also not wanting to drive in hazardous conditions.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0a96b1c7f2174a90943212a5d2a8afb9",
|
||
"input": "I am slightly outside of the rules of this sub so I apologize in advance. I haven't had the argument yet, I more just want a little guidance....\n\n​\n\nMy friends and I are late 20's unmarried guys. We did a guys trip a couple years ago to Europe and it was great. Planned it on a budget, stayed in hostels, drank too much, but had a great time. I found out today the same group minus me is heading to Switzerland for 10 days in May. I have been friends with these guys for over 20-years. Am I the asshole for feeling left out? What is the best way to open the conversation to say I was sad to hear I wasn't included?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-af0b3d81fa2d48c0b93c8dbe8f50d429",
|
||
"input": "My brother and I have not always been extremely close, but we've managed a few good memories and some deep conversations over the years. That said, we've were raised in a very traditional Catholic home. Our mother would always force us (sister, brother, and I) inside a shitty cramped car every Sunday and we used to hate it. I even remember I got us all in trouble once for licking a page in the Bible as a dare (from him). Eventually though, we all grew up and found our own path to God outside of our parents -- except for my brother. \n\n​\n\nI love him, but he's always been the testy one. He's the one who would argue with my mother nonstop about trivial things like a bedtime even though she was just a single mother at the time with only the three of us. He's only really seemed to care about himself and his own sense of justice for most of our lives. He told my mother that he is atheist about a year ago, and she took it a lot better than I thought. While not approving completely, she told him he was free to do as he wanted and that he was an adult capable of making his own decisions. But recently, her birthday came and she wanted all three of her children with her in church, as it happened to fall on a Sunday this year. Only two of us showed up, and you can likely guess who didn't. They got into a massive argument after that and he said things like \"that book is responsible for the death of my childhood.\" I think that's such an overstatement, as we had a much better childhood than we could have hoped for. \n\n \nNot just that, but we've gotten into near-fistfights on multiple occasions because he's so damn resistant to anything remotely religious. I reached out to him with a scripture after our estranged father passed away and he threatened to block me. I was just trying to help. Then last week, after the whole birthday thing, I told him it'd be better if we didn't talk anymore. I think I'm going to try to convince my sister and mother not to talk to him anymore either, as I can't help but to view him as a threat to our happiness. I'm just doing what it takes to protect what family I have, and he's only given us negative experiences as of late.\n\n​\n\nNow I don't hate atheists or harbor any ill will towards them, but I believe that you shouldn't really associate with people that are this tormented. He has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I think he'd benefit from going to church as part of it may be to a lack of God in his life. I'm sure this will get downvoted as Reddit tends to dislike anything even slightly religious, but if at least a couple people leave honest replies, I'd be fine with that. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b309ce4e68e542af99528f8790f49ac6",
|
||
"input": "This girl and I dated for around a month, and we became quite close very quickly. We broke up amicably (we both are dealing with mental health issues and just couldn’t do it) and while it hurt, I wasn’t upset at her or anything. \n\nThat was around 2 weeks ago. We agreed that it would be busy to be friends but we haven’t spoken since we broke up. Earlier today she sent me a text saying that she didn’t appreciate me inviting her friends to smoke and drink with me, and that it hurts inviting her two close friends to do that. \n\nLast week, I invited one of our mutual friends, and then another (knowing they didn’t smoke or drink) and of course was not going to force anyone to do anything. That is something I am very cognizant of, as the last thing I would want is to have someone feel pressured into doing something.\n\nI called her explaining that\n\n 1. I wasn’t responsible for their actions but I respect how she is feeling and won’t in the future,\n and \n2. It’s feels kinda shitty that we don’t talk at all and she just sends this to me out of the blue \n\nI asked her if she was mad at me and she said “No, I just don’t have anything to say to you right now”\n\nI hung up, but I feel really angry because I believe that when you value your relationship with someone, you fuckin solve shit that comes up. So when she sends this to me out of the blue, I call her and let her know that this feels kind of unfair and she responds by shutting down the conversation saying “I don’t have anything else to say right now”, she is not only holding me accountable for actions that aren’t my own, but won’t even talk to me about it. \n\nAm I justified feeling angry at this? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-17c996d86a934c8e9144e2626047f31f",
|
||
"input": "I started work at a Big 4 public accounting (biggest in our city) firm 3 weeks ago as a Year 1 tax staff, in a relatively small (but still busy) office in the Midwest. I also just moved here in late Dec to be with my bf, and am also studying for the CPA exam, with BEC scheduled for March 2nd. It's my first full-time job, and I'm getting situated to the long hours and work lifestyle of public accounting. \n\nThe hours haven't been crazy yet, but as expected my schedule is packed for all of March - about 60 hrs/week, which probably translates to 70-ish hours actually spent working, since I'm new (so that's Monday-Saturday, with some Sundays). My work won't die down until early April when returns are due, and I've let my family and bf know months in advance that I will most likely be too busy to do much more than work and sleep. \n\nMy dad and I have a pretty good relationship; he called me earlier today, to let me know that he's expecting to bring my grandpa's ashes back from China in early March, and asked me to fly down in mid-March for the burial of his ashes. Grandpa had passed away in April last year, and my dad has wanted to bring him back for a proper burial since then so I know this weighs heavily on him. \n\nMy dad really values family, and loves me and my siblings like crazy. He tried to encourage me by saying my brother and sister already have plans to fly in, but my brother is in law school and sister works for a Silicon Valley company, so they both have much more flexibility than I do. \n\nI pretty much told him flat-out that it's really unlikely I'll be able to take a few days off (fly in Friday, leave and go back on Saturday) to come down for his burial. He asked me to bring it up with my seniors but I am reluctant to do so - it's my first busy season, and it's widely understood you shouldn't take time off during busy hours. \n\nAITA for not wanting to go back home for my grandpa's burial? \n\n​\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ee6b8921d3ba4206a9163ee81a688dcd",
|
||
"input": "So...blow jobs. They're great! I dont mind giving them, but sometimes I don't think guys realize how it feels to be on the giving side. After a fun little session with my boyfriend I asked him if he knew how blow jobs feel from my perspective. So I thought I'd show him. I asked him to put his fingers in his mouth, and with his permission I began to push them in, he was gagging, but I continued for a bit shoving them in. This is what guys do to girls, right? You push their head back and forth and it feels good because the gag reflex makes the muscles of their throat tighten. I thought it'd be a funny little experience, because I really didnt mind, I just wanted to show him what it was like.\nBut his face was so somber, he looked so guilty, thinking about how that was what he \"put me through\" and I kinda felt bad. He said he\"d never ask me for one again and that wasn't what I wanted at all. My poor baby was scarred. I didnt think it was that bad, I stopped when he asked/pushed away, and I didnt think it'd be THAT bad, but now I feel kinda guilty. But should I? I mean I'm perfectly willing to do the deed, and I don't think it's that bad, but it isn't a great feeling, and I did really want to show him what its like. This is kinda funny, but I'm wondering if me doing that was an asshole move. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fb71fa4e633543b382df3aea316b1d66",
|
||
"input": "For context, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl I met online through a game. And things have been going well and we're together for a few months now. And we spend a lot of time together through voice calls and other stuff. We talk about how we're going to meet each other after graduating from University. However, one thing that irks me is that she refuses to give her Facebook to me. She states that she never gives her Facebook to people she hasn't met, although I find that a bit weird since we're in a relationship. And we have argued numerous times about this. So, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dc405b1145474fd9ac2c4900748fd018",
|
||
"input": "Using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.\n\n​\n\nA little backstory, I'm 14, my mother and my dad got married in 2002. For a while it was OK between them. After I was born it got a little worse my mom started throwing fits because I was getting more attention than her. Eventually (according to my dad) she would starts fights so she could leave. She would leave for weeks at a time and then one day just show back up for a few days and she would start another fight. Sometime in 2006 she cheated on my dad and had a baby. The baby was taken because when it was born it was having withdraws from something so they tested the baby (and my mom) both of them had meth in their system so my dad got his name off of the birth certificate and adopted the baby out of the family. The fights kept happening and my mom kept leaving for weeks at a time. About a year and a half later my mom cheated AGAIN with a different person who we will call G and low and behold she got pregnant. My dad said enough was enough and filed for divorce. The divorce happened and my little (half) brother who we will call B was brought into the world (and my mom stole my dads cat). Everything was fine for a while. Until my moms boyfriend (G) moved in with her. He was abusive as hell he would hurt B and I, my mom. G's friends eventually started making death threats towards me and B. My mom started picking up G's habits and would hit me and B (like a lot). So I begged my dad to keep me home. This went on for about a year until my mom decided that she wanted a new life and moved to a different state. I went and saw her the Christmas of that year. After that Me nor my dad heard anything from her. Not for FOUR years. Then one Christmas there's a gift card with a lot of money on it and a big letter of \"how she thinks about me everyday\" and \"how we need to rebuild our relationship\". I called her we talked for two weeks and shes silent again for about a year suddenly shes in town and demands that I see her. We went swimming at a hotel, and had food. Another 2 years of silence and boom another big gift card and another letter. I decided that I didn't want to talk to her because of all iv'e heard. Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I find that shes cyber stalking me. I blocked her.\n\nSo, am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8daf50cc8b7d435a86bd0871f0af17e8",
|
||
"input": "So, long story short: Lately I've been cutting contact completely with a lot of people, friends, close friends, etc. I keep questioning myself if I am being a bad person but sadly it's been a long time since I was this happy. It's like I am in the middle of a period of time where I keep on reflecting about my life and I am just now realizing that a lot of my so called friends just kept on taking advantage of me and using me for their own advantage. Am I the Asshole? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-126906e74f424196aab141f41bd06e1b",
|
||
"input": "It's always bugged me that she goes on her phone when we're in bed whether its after we've had sex or when we're just cuddling or spending time together. Watching TV or a movie is a different story but when we're in bed I want her to be focusing on me. \n\nI've asked her to stop many times because it makes me feel like she doesnt care about me or that she'd rather be on her phone than spend time with me. I've told her this and she tries her best but then sometimes she'll get a notification, look at it, and then get distracted with snapchat and start talking to her friends.\n\nI understand if it's time sensitive or important but I dont appreciate her just talking to other people. \n\nToday she jokingly said \"I'm going to go on my phone for 2 minutes and theres nothing you can do about it\" so I left and she got upset.\n\nDid I overreact? Is it too much to ask that she never goes on her phone when we're in bed? Maybe we should compromise in a way that I haven't thought of yet? Do most people go on their phones when they're in bed together and I'm just being weird?\n\nAny help is greatly appreciated thanks in advanced.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-65066a5d572d483fb7cc46cfc6f1b5a0",
|
||
"input": "We hired a couple to paint a room in our house, finish painting the stairwell, & touch up the ceiling. We supplied the paint for the stairwell. They quoted 750 & we paid half up front. \nWhat we were unaware of, is that they could only paint late evening like past 7/8 p.m. If we would have known this, we wouldn't have gone with them. \nThey finished the room & the stairwell. We were having issues matching the ceiling color. \nWhat should have taken a few days has turned into a two week ordeal. If I offered them half of the money we still owe and \"fire\" them, WIBTA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-25e84f1198534a52a3aedfa4f6504177",
|
||
"input": "Obviously, the title makes this sound lame, and it probably is. Today is Valentine’s Day and my husband (29M) and I (22F) typically just do something really small like dinner and small candy gifts. \n\nMy husband has a history of not getting me any gift at all for things (Christmas, my birthday, our anniversary etc.) because he typically forgets. Sometimes he’ll get me something retroactively, but sometimes he doesn’t. An important detail is that our birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and our anniversary all fall around the same time of year so it is kind of a lot all at once. \n\nThis year we were talking about our birthdays and I said “don’t bother getting me anything.” He argued that he would like to get me something so I said “I want you to make me a nice dinner.” (This is something I have asked him to do for the last 4 holidays and it still hasn’t happened.) He said he would do that. Then I asked about Valentine’s Day and he said “We’re definitely doing something.” \n\nToday, I arranged to have a bakery make a small personal sized cake, chocolate covered strawberries, and a chocolate heart for him. I got off work an hour early and came home to surprise him with it. He stayed home from work today because he is recovering from a fever and cough, but he was 90% better today and went out for errands. He wasn’t home when I got home, which was strange so I tried calling him. He didn’t answer, so I waited about 15 minutes and called again with a follow up text. No answer. I started to get really worried and called another 3 times in a row and still no answer. \n\nAbout 20 minutes later he calls me back and says “I was getting a haircut, but I’m coming home now. Is everything okay?” I said yes and see you soon. \n\nI thought he would be bringing something back for me for Valentine’s Day. But he came home empty handed, and seemed genuinely surprised that I got him something. I then expressed that I was a little hurt that he didn’t get me anything and his response was “Well, I had planned to get something on the way home but then you called me so many times I thought you were mad I wasn’t home so I just came straight here.” \n\nTo me that feels like a BS excuse and he forgot to get me something. I clearly told him on the phone that everything was good and I was just worried about him not answering for so long. I feel like he’s trying to flip it on me, like it’s my fault he couldn’t get me a gift. \n\nSo I took the chocolate covered strawberries for myself and I’ve been kind of snippy with him tonight when he asks me what I want to do. \n\nAITA for being upset that he didn’t get me a Valentine’s Day gift? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-60be3e2e8a1b4ca48399b85c1d96a39c",
|
||
"input": "In late high school I made friends with a dude one year my senior. We were friends for a year, year and a half, maybe? The context of this friendship: I needed a reason to get out of my house and away from my borderline-abusive sister, and he needed some company as his family grew busy and were rarely home. Though we had little history, our relationship was cathartic, and we'd spew whatever the hell we had on our minds - basically, a lot of unfiltered thinking out loud, without fear of judgement. From the start, we agreed on one thing: we were both very inexperienced socially, had social anxiety, and in my case the question of high-functioning autism has been raised by several teachers and doctors. We were to be blunt and clear with each other, ask for clarification when we were confused. No hidden resentments, no unvoiced objections about the other's rant of the day, etc. No wondering if that tone was suggestive or not - we would ask, and we would know, and that was comforting to the both of us.\n\nThis also meant there was NO question about what we were. We were not romantically involved. Until the event I'll cover in a minute, I didn't think there was confusion even without our agreement to be blunt. In fact, this was the first non-asexual person to whom I outed myself as asexual. Whether or not me outing myself is relevant to what happened next, I am unsure.\n\nWe went to the drive-in movies one night. I didn't have a car or a license, so we went in his car. We left a little early to avoid the jam on the way out, and he told me he was out of gas. Like, he was driving on E all day. This is where shit got weird.\n\nHe wanted to go to the gas station near his house. His house was WELL out of town, and that gas station was maybe like the tenth on the list of ones closest to us. It struck me as odd, but I figured he might just have a coupon or membership or some other discount for that station, and since he'd paid for the tickets I didn't say anything about it. I don't remember if I offered then, but if it were to happen now, I'd offer to pay for the gas (and insist on a closer station). We get to that gas station and the outside lights are off, but the inside lights are on. We can't see any other cars in the lot. The gas station door sits wide open. He locks me in the car and goes in, and then rushes back out. There was no cashier, just someone in the back rifling through shelves. We got the fuck outta there and he said \"There's this back highway by my mom's house, if we go down that for ten minutes we'll find a gas station there.\"\n\nAnd I think, *there's no way in hell we're driving ten more minutes out of town*. If the gas ran out, we didn't need to be in the middle of nowhere (which - the town itself is just one tier above \"middle of nowhere\"). While I didn't have my license, I did have a learner's permit, and I knew the roads pretty well. I told him we were better off returning to the drive-in and stopping at a gas station near there.\n\nFrom here, something in my gut was telling me something was *wrong*. He would not make eye contact with me. He was very intently focused on the road, which was unlike him. He really didn't want to go back into town, and he started giving me excuses for it: we could just stop at his one of his parents' houses until one of them came home (in three hours). We could still go to that other gas station he knew of. I chalked this up to nerves and insisted no, we need to get out of dark residential areas and onto lit streets, we need to be near town where we have multiple stations and tow options, we need to stay where there's wifi/phone signal, etc., and he agreed we should return to town.\n\n2 minutes down the familiar highway into town, there's an intersection, and despite 1) agreeing to return to town and 2) him taking this route to school every day for the past 2 years, he is in the wrong lane when we pull up to the intersection. He tells me that there's a cop here and it's too late, he has to head down this other single-lane road that leads out into the prairie. And he doesn't say \"I'll u-turn\" or \"I'll turn around\", he says \"We'll look down that way for a gas station.\" He wants to drive down that road.\n\nBut there *is no cop*, and I have no idea where that road goes, and this is where I realize that I might be in trouble. I am locked in, I am far too small to get the wheel away from him, and nobody knows we are out here. We weren't supposed to come this way, let alone down a road neither of us was familiar with. I cannot let him take that road.\n\nI tell him to turn anyway, fuck the cop. There's nobody else out here at 2 in the morning. We're not hurting anyone. And I *yell* this. Loudly. Over halfway through the intersection, he turns, and we resume the road back into town.\n\nFrom here, he continues to give excuses to get us off the main road. \"I don't know this place\", \"this doesn't look familiar\", etc. This is still the route he would have taken every weekday for the past two years. It's... literally just take this highway, the only four-lane highway, all the way to the high school, where you turn onto the main street. It's not a hard route. I drove it once before this and I knew where we were. I direct him to a gas station in the middle of town. It is well-lit, no robbery this time. While he's filling up I text my sister to tell her we're close to the house (my parents made her stay up and wait for me because last time I was out late, I got locked out of the house - I had no idea if she was actually waiting, though). When he gets back in the car, even though she hadn't responded yet, I told him she texted me asking where I was and that I told her we were on our way. My house was also quite a ways out of town, in the other direction - a route he was much less familiar with, but after hearing my sister was up and waiting, he had no more trouble navigating darker, smaller, more confusing streets to get to my house.\n\nOnce I'm safe, I write down what I remember happening for later reference and spend an hour calming down, then go to bed. And what followed was years of me wondering what the fuck happened. I cannot stress how bad my gut feeling had been that night. I am a forgiving person. I've forgiven and salvaged friendships from worse, believe it or not. But that night every ounce of trust I had in this dude *evaporated*. Every instinct I had was screaming *danger, danger*, to the point where I considered grabbing at the wheel anyway and forcing us off the road once we were a little closer to town and someone might stop to check on us. I almost did, at that isolated intersection with the invisible cop. Had his weird behavior been because of the robbery (which - I didn't realize until now, actually, that I never saw this robbery; I'm pretty sure he wasn't lying about what he saw inside b/c what I saw outside was also so strange), or had there actually been bad intentions? If it *was* bad intentions, how far had he planned to go, and what had stopped him until I'd had the chance to contact my sister? Not long after this happened, I wrote about the incident for a class. It was a private assignment, just read by the teacher, and I kept the kid's name out of it (this teacher didn't know him, anyway). The teacher said I was right to trust my gut. Years after, I have come to the following conclusion, the only one that reconciles the strange events of the night, my gut feeling, and who I knew this dude to be:\n\nHe had no bad intentions. He didn't go into it with a plan to put hands on me. I think what he wanted was for us to end up in a house or in the car alone with nothing else to do so he'd have a chance to make a move, set the mood, whatever you'd want to call it. I don't think he'd have touched me without consent. But it just... never crossed his mind that locking me in his car and trying to force us first to his house and then into the middle of nowhere without telling me why would be *terrifying*. It would breach our pact about being blunt, but we did have social anxiety, and maybe he took \"asexual\" to mean \"straight but a little nervous\" and decided a sideways approach was best. Maybe, once we were parked somewhere, he would have bluntly asked. But he never got farther than trying to set the stage, because of the robbery and my insistence we head back into town instead. I am very certain that this is what happened.\n\nHe didn't contact me for two months after that. He knew he'd done something wrong. After some time had passed (though - keep in mind I was still processing what happened, hadn't quite reached the above conclusion, still had no idea what he'd intended that night) he asked if I wanted to join him for lunch or something. I turned him down. I was terrified of the thought of being alone with him again. He invited himself to my graduation at the end of the school year, and I told my classmate - \"Don't leave me alone with him.\" She didn't treat him badly or anything - in fact, they hung out with each other more than I did with either of them - but she followed my request without question. He rode with me and my mother to the ceremony and we exchanged a few words, but he spoke mostly to my mother. He was avoiding me, too.\n\nI never addressed him directly about what happened, and that's where I wonder if I'm the asshole.\n\nSee, I was afraid to be alone with him, but this wasn't something I could ask him about in front of others. I could have texted, but every time I chickened out. It seemed like a conversation best had face-to-face, like texting would result in misunderstandings and reading with the wrong tone. If his answer was \"No, I was just nervous,\" I don't think I would have believed him right away. And if his answer was \"Yes, I wanted to get us alone toge",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-71ad9faf708343ca97699a730bb585a4",
|
||
"input": "My boyfriend (20m) and I (20f) have been dating for a little over a year and we’ve had sex a couple of times. Last night we were hanging out with some friends at my place and it was hitting 2am, so I wanted to go to sleep soon and started to wind down the get together. My boyfriend insisted that I come back with him since his roommate wasn’t there for the night, and I kind of didn’t want to. He got visibly upset with me so I agreed to come back with him. He hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before, so it was strange to me that he wanted to initiate sex being so tired. \n\nWe had some pretty great sex imo, but he wouldn’t finish. I tapped out after 15 minutes and he dragged it on for longer, and then, out of the blue, he asks for anal. We had never done that before, and I wasn’t even sure about how it felt nor was I mentally prepared. He had completely stopped what he was doing and kept insisting for it, so thinking that it might get him to finish sooner, I say yes, with a very clear boundary that if I said to stop, it meant we were stopping. I had read about it before hand so there was some preparation. \n\nHe was respectful throughout the whole thing, took it very slow, he said he was enjoying it a lot, but again, he wouldn’t finish and I don’t know why. He just kept going until I felt nauseous and told him to stop, I was out, I was exhausted and I couldn’t continue any type of intercourse at this point. \n\nHe stopped, cleaned up, and was very upset because he didn’t finish. I asked him why he wasn’t able to finish and he said he was holding back cause he really wanted to keep going, but I find that extremely hard to believe, going on for a little over 45 minutes at this point. He asked for a blowjob and I tried that but he was just taking way too long, at this point I felt like he wasn’t into me, nothing I did got him to finish and he ended up falling asleep very upset with me. I cried and I left on my own, and messaged him at 4am that I was hurt and didn’t want to talk for a while. \n\nHe messaged me and I told him my thoughts and he said that I was being petty and if I wanted to feel sorry for myself then to take as long as I want. I feel humiliated, I feel like I’m no good at sex and I’m still hurt and upset.\n\nAm I over exaggerating my feelings? I feel like I’m being selfish cause he got me to finish, but I tried my hardest and he just wouldn’t go over that edge.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8ea0402edb864126a900448884d13724",
|
||
"input": "Me and a good friend of mine have been having issues with drugs for a while. Both of us indulge a lot less but we aren’t clean. For the past year she’s been telling how happy she is to be “clean and sober” aside from weed, and honestly it’s bullshit. Sobriety needs to be maintained and we both aren’t there yet.\n\nOne day she posts on instagram a video of doing some lean, and that just upset me. Not that she was doing drugs, just that she repeatedly lied to me (and there’s the possibility she was lying to herself as well). I told her pretty meanly that she needs to cut that “sobreity” talk out because her lying is pissing me off. Now, of course we aren’t getting her side of the story; I’ll admit I said it pretty meanly. She tells me she isn’t sure if she wants to associate with me if I’m so negative, that she can do whatever she wants, and that she’s happy for the first time in her life and she doesn’t want me ruining that. I reiterated that it wasn’t the drug use that bothered me, it was the lying. \n\nShe didn’t respond to texts for like a week. I asked her if we were still cool and she said we were but I need to “cut that shit out”. I apologized for upsetting her but not the remark and tried to explain how what she was saying upset me and that I was just upset because I cared. She doubled down on it, said she didn’t want to associate with me, blocked me briefly.\n\nI kind of just gave up, seeing she wasn’t gonna see my side. Just told her that I guess negativity wasn’t gonna help anything and that I was glad she was doing better. In this situation, I don’t think anything I say will change her mind. \n\nDid I do the right thing here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-32279841a41347ff92f55e9d3f432a78",
|
||
"input": "I’ve asked a couple people in real life (the thing outside the internet) what they think, but I know my age/socio-economic/political stances have brought me to friends who think similarly to me, and therefore would not be able to give me a non-biased opinion.\n\nBackground:\n\nMy best best friend in the whole wide world does not vaccinate her kids. She was first turned onto this by the “Mommy Group” at her church.\n\nHer church/religious background: my friend was raised in a cult and unfortunately bears the scars of someone introduced to ultra-extreme conservativism at a young age. Even though she fled the cult, she gravitated to a man who made her join his religion to be with him (publicly, I might add as they’d been sleeping together for a while). She gave up dreams to be a doctor for this guy and dropped out of college and used her college savings on a wedding.\n\nAlthough I was sad about this, and even a down right bitch at times, I’ve learned that friendship is about staying supportive through the hurdles. We’ve had gaps in our friendship before from fights that devastated us and it would be too difficult to do this again.\n\nThe Issue:\n\nThe church has “Elders” who manage the church. Enter 7 nondescript aging white guys. The “Elders” (not kidding, that’s their name), have women and male groups split up and it’s clear that while the men talk business and the future of the church, the women have been overcome by anti-vaccine propaganda. It’s very clear that the “Elders” are not involved nor concerned about the stuff in the women’s group, and I really don’t think they know the levels of insanity this group is at right now. \n\nI’m so so tempted to write to the pastor, as my friend (who is very young and impressionable) really doesn’t do anything her pastor won’t tell her to do. She would be personally offended if I said anything to her about her kids. As much as I’m disappointed in my friend, I’m mostly pissed off at the mommy group for brainwashing the young moms. My friend went through post pardum depression and I feel like they knew how to exactly sink their claws into her when she was so vulnerable. \n\nHer kids are truly wonderful and I get upset every time I see a kid with measles because it’s so preventable. A ton of moms now don’t vaccinate and they work together on getting paperwork finalized for religious exemption or they pull their kids from school to home school them. \n\nI worry for her and her beautiful family, but I really want to give a fucking wake up call to the pastor who does not have any idea this is being taught in his church.\n\nI feel like I’m obsessing or being controlling, and I can handle the honest truth as this has been on my mind for some time. I unfortunately grew up ultra religious and I know the pain that comes from that may make me more upset than the average person. \n\nTL;DR: friend’s church has a mommy group that is teaching anti-vaccine propaganda to young, new moms without the churches knowledge. I would like to write an anonymous letter to their pastor to tell him about the uprising of anti-vaxx propaganda from their women’s group.\n\nHoping for clarity ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a2f60fd6c99e4f4895a352661e2cc7c8",
|
||
"input": "I know that I am the asshole because I blew up on her about it when I should have been calm and should have stepped away from the issue. Don't judge me on that, because I could not have helped that part, but I still need insight on why it's wrong/right for me to feel this way.\n\nI have known my girlfriend (20F) for four years, but we have only been dating for one year. She met my parents a couple of times, and we had a trip last Christmas break where she stayed in a hotel with me and my parents. It was a good time all around.\n\nHalf a year ago, my dad passed away. It was expected, but it still hit me and my mom hard. My girlfriend reacted to the news with shock when I told her. She was there for me when I was really struck by grief, but ultimately, she was over it just about the instant she heard it. I chalked it up to her not having known him all her life, but today, it really made me feel... aggravated.\n\nA couple of hours ago, Stan Lee died and news got around. (May he rest in peace.) The moment my girlfriend heard, she broke down--crying in a way that I have never seen her cry. She was so mortified by this, and I sat down with her, reminded of the day that my father died and the way that I broke down. She started talking about Spiderman, her favorite comic book series. Stuff like how she couldn't believe that such a good man died and how she was going to miss seeing his cameos.\n\nAnd for some reason, I couldn't help but wonder why she never said anything like this when my father died. Sure, she was there for me, but all she did was listen and tell me \"I don't know what to say...\" every time I talked to her about my memories. At the time, I accepted this.\n\nStan Lee is a media legend, sure, but she didn't even know him. My dad was someone that she sat down and ate dinner with. My dad was someone that she met, and she couldn't spare any tears for him. I was very upset. I told her these things, yelling when I said it. She stopped crying and looked shocked--and even in the moment, I knew that I shouldn't have exploded like that. We decided that we will talk about this tomorrow.\n\nLook. Roast me. Tear into me. I feel very strongly about this, but I know that I might be in the wrong. I want you to tell me why I'm wrong so that I can gain perspective on this. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-185221de4f75415f99d6dff1bd93394b",
|
||
"input": "He broke up with me after 3 years of relationship , saying all that “I’ve got too much to deal with in life that I’m not ready to he in any relationship.” We broke up on good terms and at least we still cared about each other- oh so I thought. \n\n1 month later, I heard him enthusiastically and loudly talk about his new love interest in gathering of a group of mutual friends. He knew for a fact that I was just 2 feet behind him. First thing that came to mind was being worried that he might get with girls that treat him like shit (he did before). \n\nI was at first upset that he chose to lie to me even at the very last moment of the relationship... but later I found out more and more that made me pretty upset and angry. \n\nHe kept saying he did not feel anything for the girl until after we broke up - truth is he’s been talking to some mutual friends about this girl just 2 hrs before the breakup, and it was them who said dude this is not cool you gotta end stuff before you can do anything... so he broke up with me 2 hrs later. \n\nWhen we were together, he always told me he couldn’t make plans cos “his mom makes all the decisions” and he has no say over his schedule (he’s 23 now btw.) But to my surprise, he managed to convince his entire family to go on a trip just to travel to see the new girl.\n\nThen slowly I came to realise that he was never faithful. He once lied to my face about how he injured his knee while I was literally kneeling in front of him, doing his wound dressing for him. He lied about the most trivial things, and when I ask questions he would cover it with another lie, then another. \n\nSo after discovering all that, I found the girl on social media. I told her that he lied to me countless times and cheated on me (made out with girls when we were together). I read what I typed many, many times to make sure it was just stating facts, (i.e. he told lies a lot, cheated on me, and the exact time we were together - cos apparently he lied to his family and friends about that too). I showed some of my friends to make sure the tone was fine. \n\nAll I wanted to do was to let her know... cos if I were in the same position, I would want to at least know that this person (at least “used to”) treat his SO this way, and to take what he says with a grain of salt. \n\nI was certain there is always a possibility that the girl feels I was talking rubbish, or she might think he’d change for her or whatever. I wasn’t trying to make a choice FOR her. INFORMED DECISION was what I was concerned about. \n\nOf course, his friends and family thought I was taking revenge. They said “how dare you who gave you the right to do that?” I really, really wanted to say, I really don’t need anyone’s permission to talk to her...? But I didn’t. I apologised for making them feel hurt. \n\nMy ex also kept using the fact that I had been on social media after we broke up - dude I wasn’t the one who claimed to not be ready for any relationship?? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c8c6a296a9c94c3980fef425dd699126",
|
||
"input": "Seriously... People measure their happiness and relationships by social media now?! Fucking hell...",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9e44232b9bdc41a58921f17171caa2e4",
|
||
"input": "So im gonna start with a little bit of background information: Be me, 22 y/o male in the middle of his in-firm training (takes 3 years), who has been in a relationship with his first gf for almost 6 years. Fly to the USA for 4 weeks as a part of your training. Get your ass dumped via whatsapp after you´ve been there for 1 week because of another guy that she met (he gave her a ride from our hometown to the city where she studies for the last 1 1/2 years). Get messages like \"Cant i be a little bit happy?\" or \"You havent cared about me in our relationship\". Be sad as fuck, eat like once a day, no sleep because of jetlag + fucked up mentality. Cant enjoy the time you have there because you cant get a clear minute. Come back home after 4 weeks.\n\nThats where im gonna start. Of course she wanted to talk to me about everything and at the time i was abroad i also wanted to know why, but as i returned back home after 4 weeks full of shit i was so done with her. I didnt want to speak to her or ever see her again, even if the time we had together was beautiful and i loved her more than anything else. I can understand if you break up if you have the feeling that it just doesnt work anymore, but not like this, not after almost 6 years. Was that what i deserved? To be dumped like someone she barely knew and didnt care about? I felt so worthless for about 2-3 months. Without my friends and my parents i probably wouldnt be where i am right now and i spent the first few weeks talking with them about what happend so i could process it. \n\nAlmost everybody told me that i should not answer her messages or calls anymore, and that was just what i did. Of course she kept writing me, but i just ignored her. After a few months it started getting better and i didnt have to think about her all the time.\n\nNow, after almost 1 year (all this took place in June 2018), she is blaming me that her conscience is bothering her and that she has to think about me alot, that she cant concentrate on her studies and that the relationship with her new bf suffers from her having to think about me. So basically she states that all this happened because i didnt want to settle things with her, but i really dont give a damn about what she thinks or how she feels now. AITA for this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-779664f4ce2a4c8890e1e1d08be552b9",
|
||
"input": "Yes, the title sounds very bad, but I should tell the whole story first. So i’m a senior in high school, and i broke up with my girlfriend a month ago after about 7 months of dating. We had been very good friends before dating, and I was very happy with her. However, I have had anxiety for a couple years, and have been on meds to combat it. However, I had a very bad episode a month ago and simply wasn’t in a good place. We ended having a messy breakup with mistakes from both of us. I wasn’t engaged wit her as much as I should have been and was probably neglecting her emotionally, and she told me to basically get over my anxiety. We haven’t really talked since the breakup, but at our school’s football game last week, we ended up getting in a arguement. We said some things and then with most of the student section listening, she told me to go home and pop pills to deal with my fake anxiety. I was pretty upset and blurted “how my dick taste tho” Our classmates found it very funny, but she started crying. She’s very christian, and she probably was upset that her activities were out to everyone. It’s been a couple days and I kinda feel like i overreacted. Am i the Asshole? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-589c8680c0624018a5cdefc7019fbb8c",
|
||
"input": "Throwaway. My girlfriend are in a huge/ potentially relationship ending argument. I need to know if ITA. \n\nI’m in a very LDR with basically the girl of my dreams. Absolutely beautiful, smart, driven. Things have been great despite being a several hour plane ride away from each other. \n\nShe came to town, and I was so pumped to introduce her to my friends. They threw a party, and while on the way, GF randomly asked “are there any girls I should be worried about” This is probably where I fucked up, but I explained that a girl I used to see will likely be there. Explained that we were supportive of each other during our respective divorces, and we hadn’t seen each other since well before I met GF. I was asked if we ever slept together. I said yes, because...we had. Also important to say that we never told out mutual friends about our fling, it wasn’t a big deal. \n\nEverything started out great. Everyone was so welcoming to gf, including ex who was there with a new guy. \n\nGF gets drunk and made a comment about single moms dating being weird, almost directly have ex mentioned her children. She randomly asked why she divorced ex husband...in front of everyone, and then asked, again in front of everyone, where we had gone one dates. I was honestly so surprised. So was everyone else. \n\nI apologized to ex and her guy as they were leaving, and she said “no worries. Play 23 year old games, win 23 year old prizes” (were all in our 30s) and gf heard this and sobbed in the bathroom for the rest of the night. She was so devastated that I did tell her that was out of line; however, I feel like nearly everything gf said to her was out of line. \n\nWe got into the biggest argument about how I didn’t have the decency to stand up for her. I told her honestly, I should have stood up to ex when gf relentlessly tried to embarrass her, and she can’t be surprised at a little passive aggressiveness after the way she acted. \n\nShe’s now back on a plane, and we will discuss further once she clears her head.\n\nAm I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-53a0d3c0c118490e975c0c82c844c9e3",
|
||
"input": "I like to play video games, and he watches me play sometimes. Often he will criticize the video game and say it sucks and other variations of that. The thing is, it’s my favorite video game and I really enjoy playing it. But hearing him talk shit about it takes all the fun out of it. He does this a lot. He talks shit with no motivation? I will be sitting there minding my own business and out of no where says something rude and calls it a “joke” \n\nI have voiced MANY times I don’t like it. I’ve gotten mad and shown him it really bothers me. It’s like he does it on purpose knowing it pisses me off, and then when I get upset he wonders why? And then calls me sensitive. This is becoming old very quickly. I don’t want to break up but I also don’t want to deal with that shit. It’s negativity that I really don’t need in my life. I just want to enjoy relaxing and playing video games with out hearing someone shit talk the entire time. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6ba0988c774c4a99b56616c1c46b1f02",
|
||
"input": "Tldr: I went out to dinner with two new people I was befriending who then started badmouthing my best friend. I didn't join in, but I didn't say anything in response because I was stuck with them for the rest of the night and didn't want to cause problems.\n\nSo, this happened years ago. I was leaving work and saw these two girls (I always refer to them as hitchhikers) sitting outside in the cold and I offered them a ride home. On the ride we ended up all chatting and we all kinda got along so we ended up getting food and hanging out a handful of times over the course of a couple weeks. Neither of them had vehicles so I always did the driving. Well one day we went to dinner and I don't remember how it came up, but shortly after we ordered my bestfriend was brought up and the hitchhikers just started talking really bad about her and saying some pretty rude stuff. I didn't join in or say she was my best friend. I didn't want to say anything about it because we still had food on the way and I was there ride home. I was stuck with them so I didn't want it to be awkward. I just waited for the subject to change and got on with the night. \nAfter dinner I asked my bestfriend if she knew the hitchhikers and mentioned it to her.\nShe asked what I did and I said nothing and explained. She got really offended that I didn't defend her at all and felt 100% betrayed. That was the end of our friendship. I kept asking her if we could talk about it but she just kept saying there was nothing to talk about.\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-34496db9d8ad4b7d9dc7d44ef34e7ba6",
|
||
"input": "A little backstory, my friends cat died on Monday and she hasn't taken it well, that cat was her best friend for a long time. He (the cat) was only about five and very Healthy and street smart, (she let her cat's outside) she was not ready at all, her nextdoor neighbor is an complete asshole, he let his dogs run around without a leashes in an unsourced backyard, this neighborhood has a lot of cats he knows this, so Monday his dog got out and chased my friends cat onto the road it was hit by a car, and sadly passed and all the guy did was half-heartedly say \"oh sorry my dog got out\" my friend texted me telling me what happened, at first she seemed deactivated, but today the day after, she's acting like nothing happened like everythings normal again, and that hurts that cat can't just be forgotten, well today it all caught up with me you see I spend alot of time at her house, and I loved that little guy as if he was my own I'm not taking it well at all, I was there right before he passed and just can't accept it, I would go to other people to talk it out, but she's the only one of have in my life right now, and she seems to want to just forget him and what happened,\n\nWIBTA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-002245e54d8a4ba7b69526092ba9e583",
|
||
"input": "About half an hour ago I was sitting in a bus. Next to me was a young woman having a phone call, normal voice volume, standard phone call with no crazy topics.\n\nAll of sudden I hear the bus driver go: \"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP THAT, IT IS INCREDIBLY ANNOYING\" . He was referring to her having a phone call in the bus. She got startled and started to cry.\n\nNote: She was sitting multiple rows behind the bus driver, so not next to him or something.\n\nI was incredibly shocked by the drivers reaction and started to write an online complaint. \n\nAs i was writing the complaint i was wondering if the bus driver was actually an arsehole, or if it's : his bus, his rules. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4b1bfa2fad064f489059bd4c4cf2c225",
|
||
"input": " \n\nHello, before I start my story, I just want to point out that I’m Danish, so English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes, also this is a long story, TL-DR in bottom, thank you. \n\nThis happened some time ago, but I’ve had a bad feeling about it ever since.\n\n**People involved:** (all names have been altered) \n\n**Fray:** My ex. She’s blond, kind of short and good looking, she’s a bit nerdy and the type to say sorry to a fly after she squashed it she has the “cute girl next door” look.\n\n**Mark:** My friend. He’s tall has dark hair and glasses, he’s very funny a bit dorky but one of my very best friends. He’s a country boy and usually dresses more practically then anything else.\n\n**Michael:** Me. I’m blond, average height, pretty good looking (if I do say so myself) though rather skinny and usually wear a dress shirt and some nice pants.\n\n**Background:** \n\nFrey, Mark and I all started in the same class some years ago. Mark and I quickly became friends as we have the same kind of humour. The first time I talked to Fray was in German, we had to work in groups, Fray and I were paired. a bit later we got to catch up at a preparty and ended op kissing at most of the night at the party the day after I really didn’t know what to text her as I had only been in one previous relationship, while I was pondering she ended up texting me a bit later we ended up discussing what we actually where, after being asked by almost all of the school, we came to the conclusion that she would like to be my girlfriend and I would very much like to be her boyfriend. \n\nJust before we began in school my little sister was diagnosed with cancer and she was in the hospital for over 9 months only coming home a handful of times. It really took a toll on me and I got kind of depressed thought I did my best to hide it from everyone, I hate talking about my problems and didn’t want to make it even harder for my parents or my little brother if they also had to worry about me. Fray was exactly what I needed, finally something good happens to me. I don’t know if it really played a role, but I thought I would include it just in case.\n\nThe relationship for the next long time went great, she loved me, and I loved her more then anything, until she ended it. I followed her to her bus almost every day (a 20-minute walk) there we could talk, complain about school, hold hands and I could get a goodbye kiss. One day she wouldn’t hold my hand, she kept her hands in her pockets, I didn’t think anything of it as it was cold. The day after that again she wouldn’t hold my hand and I could the something was bothering her, but she wouldn’t tell me what, when her bus came, I said “goodbye, I love you” as I always did, her response? “mmhhmm” this broke my heart, it wasn’t a big deal but damnit that hurt. The day after our school held a large party (the same kind that we hooked up at) and I hosted a preparty at my house for the class, she would avoid me the whole day I just drank some more and tried to have fun. When we got home to me after the party and went to bed, she would lie almost over the edge of the bed aka. As far away from me as possible. By this time, I had begun to see what was coming and just wishing she would just rip the bandage off and get it over with instead of this torture. The next morning, she said we had to talk and she broke up, she began crying so I did my best to comfort her while dying inside I send her on her way home and just sat thinking why she broke up, she never gave me a reason, so I felt I was something I had done or said but I couldn’t think of anything. I had difficulty sleeping as I felt guilty because of whatever I had done, and it didn’t help that I had to see her every day in school. Just to say the breakup was very hard on me, I still loved her, but I knew she didn’t feel the same way anymore.\n\nTime went and I started getting over her. After a rather large party I hosted an after party for a small group of friends, Mark asks me if its okay he invites Fray, I couldn’t see a reason she shouldn’t be aloud to come so of course I say she could. Half an hour after she arrived her and Mark were not to be found anywhere, I had just emptied my last beer, so I headed down to my room to fetch my Gin for a Gin n’ Tonic. Then I open my door the first thing I see is Fray and Mark in my bed, they weren’t doing anything just lying side by side talking, I didn’t know what to do so I just said hey got my liquor and went op to the others. I know I wasn’t a lot, but it really got to me seeing my ex, with my best friend, in my bed, the same bed I used to be with her in. some days later another good friend told me he saw it too and asked what I thought about it.\n\nI noticed them beginning to talk each other more and more I school, I even felt happy for them both. \n\n**Now to the reason I write this in the first place.**\n\nsome time ago I got invited to a small house party by one of the girls in the class, she lives in the country and I in the middle of the city so it was a good bit away so I arrange with my mother that she would drive me home when I called, she was happy to do so but of course it would take some time. All the girls invited arrived a couple of hours before so they would have some girl time before the guys came, but as the only dude Mark was also invited to come early, I thought it was strange but maybe transport would be easier if he came early. When I arrive, I was greeted by everyone with a hug, apart from Mark and Frey as Fray had leached on to Marks arm, I give him a handshake and a pad on the shoulder. The party went smoothly and it was fun to let loose, talk and play drinking games with all the others. Most of the party leave early and take a taxi to the dance club, I can barely eat with a fork let alone dancing especially drunk, so I thought Id stay a bit see what happens and maybe call my mother soon. We ended up being only Mark, Fray, the girl who hosted the party and me. We sat in the sofa watching Die hard and eating leftover pizza from earlier and let me tell you Mark and Fray did not watch any of the movie, they were cuddled up exactly the way we always used to when “watching movies” aka. Making out. This really fucking hurt! I called my mom and she came after like half an hour.\n\nIt might not true seeing I was drunk, but I swear se glanced at me all the time, I tried to ignore it as I didn’t want to course any drama.\n\nThe day after I text Mark something like “Hey, listen I don’t get to say who you can and can not be in a relationship with, but you have to see this from my angle and understand it isn’t easy seeing my ex being together with my best friend. If you really like each other of course you should be allowed to, but damn it hurt watching you and Fray yesterday lying exactly as we used to. I think you deserve to know how I feel and I hope you respect me enough to have this in the back of the head when I am near” he said he was happy I texted him and of course he would.\n\nSince this they slowly stopped talking as much as they did before, I don’t know If I really did end their relationship before it started, however I feel like shit knowing it’s a possibility, so I must ask am I the asshole in this situation? \n\n**TL-DR:**\n\nMy long-term girlfriend broke up with me and quickly after start baking on my friend, so I text him that it hurts seeing them together. Since I did, they haven’t talked as much, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-579dfc11ee52403daf71d07c676469ed",
|
||
"input": "Now I'm not a particularly passive person, if I see something I think is wrong I tend to point it out. Stand up for what I think is right and all. Now when this young girl started working with us I wasn't sure where I stood with her. We have a small workforce, only about six people, so I work in a close environment with her most of the day. She can be moody and very rude and negative unless you catch her on a good day. \n\nNow she's about nineteen and some of her behaviour I put down to her being very immature for her age. She seems to want people to see her as this badass, edgy, straight talking person who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. I suspect she cares. And I've learned after getting to know her better that her home life is not the best, I have reasons to believe there may be some level of abuse. She told her her mother once threw an ashtray at her and punched her hard enough her face bruised, then giggled about it. I told her it wasn't alright for anyone to lay hands on her and she started crying. So I hugged her and told her if she ever felt unsafe then she could call me and I'd open my spare room to her. Since this incident I've been trying to be understanding of her sour moods and have been paying closer attention to her good qualities. She's very funny for a start, though I like blunt and sometimes harsh humour - as does everyone else in the workplace. She can be kind, when she's not trying to act macho, and she's a hard worker too. \n\nWell we were having a cheerful debate at work over something unrelated and this girl steps in saying we should debate other things. Then, in an act I can't help think is designed just to draw attention, flatly states that she's a racist and we should debate about that. We ask questions, obviously, and she comes away with things like \"I hate Pakis. If there's a Paki on my bus I'll get off at the next stop and catch a different one.\" and \"If one started working here I'd quit.\". She also takes the time to clarify that by \"Paki\" (I'm sorry about the slur, I'm just quoting her) she didn't mean specifically anyone from Pakistan, but actually meant \"anyone brown\", namely Middle Eastern and Indian people. The first thing I said is that I think that's disgusting behaviour. She defends her opinion saying that when she was young her uncle said if she misbehaved he'd put her in a black hood and send her away to them. I argued that, though that's disturbing, it doesn't justify her words or actions. \n\nBut everyone else was quiet and my manager tried to diffuse the situation by sort of going along with her. Basically telling her 'yeah, we know you don't give a fuck. Your opinion's your opinion, it's whatever'. She tried a few times to encourage conversation about it, saying that she doesn't care if we think she's an asshole and that she's not going to lie about what she thinks. But after a while nobody said anything, it was awkward. And again, I'm not convinced that she doesn't care what people think and part of me wonders if this is some weird, pathetic trick she's got to try and seem edgy. Either to get attention, bad or good, or to push people away. \n\nI can't exactly psychoanalyse her so I won't know exactly what's behind it. But it bothers me that work is just going on as normal and that everyone is joking around as normal. I've remained civil but I feel bad about laughing when she tells jokes. And the other day she was standing in the rain waiting for the place to open so I let her sit in my car with me until our boss arrived. I had to attend our works' Christmas night out and she danced with me on the floor. On one level I worry about her situation and have started getting along with her, but one part of me wants to completely disassociate from her and only speak regarding work. I already voiced my opinion, I'm not sure what else to do. \n\nSo am I being an asshole here? Could I be doing more?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-da59d11b6fae400aaa1da32bf2ad20d5",
|
||
"input": "A couple of months ago I [24M] started developing feelings toward my friend [24F] who happened to have a boyfriend at that time. It turned out that she also liked me and their relationship was going downhill for some time.\n\nFinally, she broke up with him (after a 5-year relationship) and we started dating. He never knew about my existence and she didn't tell him that I was the reason for the breakup. As far as I knew, he still loved her and wanted to be with her, but she didn't feel anything toward him anymore.\n\nAfter dating for three months we started to have some disagreements. Basically, I became very involved and wanted her to be my full-time girlfriend, while she wanted to stay in a more loose, friends-with-benefits kind of relationship (but remain faithful to each other). I became frustrated, because I was the only one initiating contact and meetings and she never wrote me first. Shortly before Christmas we decided to have a break and stop seeing each other for some time.\n\nAt a New Year's Eve party (that she didn't attend), our mutual friend who has very good contact with her told me that she started seeing her ex.\n\nI was heartbroken (and drunk). I did a very stupid thing. I wrote to him that I was the reason for the breakup and that we dated and she wanted to come back to him because it didn't work out well with me.\n\nHe thanked me and immediately told her about it. Needless to say, she hates me now.\n\nIt turned out that they only met to talk. Our mutual friend portrayed it like she definitely wanted to get back to him, which turned out not to be true.\n\nI feel like I did a good thing for him telling him the truth. But I broke her trust and probably destroyed my relationship with her (and i still love her). I am also very angry at myself because I was drunk and misinformed and wouldn't do it in other circumstances. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-85b765ff937f4ef3b91db6b166d272d3",
|
||
"input": "It was one business in its own parking lot, the lot was full but easy enough to maneuver around in. I am trying to turn into the business, lady pulls up and blocks the entrance and exit by stopping parallel to it and lets someone out very slowly. After about 10 seconds I let out a light honk and give the \"what the fuck\" hands. \n\nThe lady that got out then walks around to the other side of the car and starts to help an old lady out. There is now 4 cars waiting to get into the parking lot. \n\nOnce I saw the old lady I felt like an asshole, but on the other hand the car could have easily pulled into the parking lot and gotten even closer to the front door.\n\nAITA for honking?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3b346c75ad7c457e8dcdd41a80a414b6",
|
||
"input": "My husband and I just got our taxes back today. Without going into specifics we got a good chunk of change back after working hard all year and claiming our 4 kids. We have a stack of old and current bills to pay which I agree, must come first. On top of that we just moved and owe for this house. My husband is all stressed out because he doesnt actually sit down and go over the numbers. I have. We easily have enough left to spend around 1500 to 2000 on a vehicle for me and our children that would be safe and realiable. (And also new enough to not look like a dumpster on the road, which is where I'm selfish) tonight I tried to talk to my husband about this but he cut me off and got all huffy about how I'm just going to do whatever I want anyway, and how I'm selfish for only thinking of myself. But I already went thru all the bills he asked me to, the house, and the appliances we had to replace and I know what we should be left with. I'm being realistic, I thought. He stomped off and went to bed angry because I'm just a selfish bitch. But keep in mind, we currently dont have a vehicle that runs and is large enough to fit our family of 6. We have a jeep that he drives, and our old broken down van. So am I am asshole for wanting to buy a new to me van that's safe, reliable, and looks nice? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e80fe57b490448b9aeec9a821de32c32",
|
||
"input": "So some context here. I have a friend who we (my wife and I) like and enjoy hanging out with. However, lately she seems to be double booking all her social engagements with us. For example, we will invite her over for dinner to hang out and talk. But she will arrive and then say she has to leave in an hour or so to go meet up with another friend after seeing us. We are throwing a Christmas party and inviting a bunch of our friends. We invited her along and her boyfriend who works odd shifts. She is able to make it, her boyfriend is not due to work. So she asked us if she could invite a friend of hers along.\n\nThis isn’t a big problem to us. We like meeting cool people. But it seems strange to me that she just can’t come over and hang out with us without booking extra things to do later or bringing another person along. If I was invited to go to a party and my wife couldn’t make it, I would just go myself without needing to bring along another person in her place.\n\nAITA for finding it strange she doesn’t seem to want to just hang out with us without including other friends of hers as well?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-15f4c1c8153742ff8bb3261a55ccf0dc",
|
||
"input": "This will be a long one. Sorry for any mistakes, I'm on mobile and not a native. This happened on Friday.\n\nT= team mate \n\nG= our friend (more her friend) \n\nF = bf's friend\n\nBF = boyfriend\n\nMe= me\n\n\nLet me start by saying F is (was?) a good friend of mine, too. At 6 am, I noticed that we were missing an important part of a drawing project due later. I hadn't noticed before.\n\nI texted F and she got mad that I didn't tell her sooner. I figured she wouldn't fix it (school lends us PCs & wacoms, and we had two free periods so there shouldn't have been an issue), so I did a quick painting over my template (she was supposed to follow it so this wouldn't happen). I didn't use F's drawing bc I thought it would be rude to change it. \n\n\nFastforward to 30 minutes before the class, we're sitting in a classroom. G and other 2 students were there. I showed F what I had done in those 2 periods. Once again, F brought up that it was my fault for answering so late. I told her \"you had the time and means\". F got mad and continued talking loudly. Then, F got angry at T over the gc for not submitting the image to the teacher. No one had told T to send it, but we all assumed he was going to. I told F something like \"you can't expect T to send the image when you didn't even send it to him through e-mail. You sent a low-resolution jpg in the gc.\" \n\nShe got louder \"No one told me to send it. How was I supposed to know?\" I thought this was hypocritical of her and told her \"You already know the gc sends low-quality images. No one should have to tell you, you're not a little girl-\" \n\n\nF cut me off, shouting: WELL, YES, I AM A LITTLE GIRL\n\n\nG & I: no, you're in university-\n\n\nF: I HAVE THE MIND OF A LITTLE GIRL, YOU SHOULD TELL ME THINGS AS IF I WAS A LITTLE GIRL\n\n\nG: no, you're not, and- Me: Ok, don't interrupt- (at the same time) \n\n\nF: I'LL INTERRUPT ALL I WANT BC YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR THINGS I DIDN'T DO AND NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT. YOU'RE ANGRY AT ME FOR THINGS THAT ARE NOT MY FAULT\n\n\nShe stormed off. I sent T my image and told him \"make both versions and send them, pls\" He did & we went to class. \n\n\nF entered the class & didn't look at me. We presented. The class agreed her drawing was prettier but mine fulfilled the checklist. I talked to my teacher and my bff and both told me to cut ties after the project was done.\n\nThen I told my BF. He defended F & said \"Please understand F, she's having a hard time. Her mental health is bad. I know this doesn't excuse her but maybe it was a bad moment. I think you should just talk to her\". This hurt me a lot as I have mental health issues, too. \n\n\nI have F's texts to BF if anyone wants her side on this. \n\n\nAITA for not wanting to apologize? And most importantly, Would I Be TA for asking my BF to side with me on this? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e6d45d4e3b5d498ba98976502bf479b3",
|
||
"input": "So I (32m) started dating a new girl (26f) after a disgusting horrible divorce from my wife who I’ve been with for like 15 years.. \n\nSo I was super patent and deliberate in choosing a girl to date, turning down lots of others over the last year or so of separation... Then I met this girl and she is like EVERYTHING I want in a woman, and I could really see myself having a long-term relationship with her. \n\nWe took things slow and waited about a month to have sex, just fooling around and doing other stuff. Then when the time came she stopped me right before and told me she had been living with herpes since the age of 19.. She was very mature and responsible and understanding and said she’d give me time to think about it, but...TBH I’m fucking freaking out. I’m terrified that this could affect me and my life forever if I end up being with her.\n\nI basically told her all of this, and broke up with her. I said that I couldn’t risk my health or well being and that I’ve been through too much to not give myself every chance at happiness. She says I’m being immature and I’m an asshole and insists that it’s really no big deal.\n\nSo, am I being an asshole?? I sure feel like one... But at this point in my life and with a daughter who I basically raise alone I need to be selfish with my time and my life. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What are my options? Help me out Reddit, I’m feeling pretty f’ed up over this...",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e339560acc9a4985a2950902024dd62b",
|
||
"input": "I have just been confronted by my apartment building neighbour's friend that live below me for making too much noise the day he is moving out.\n\n​\n\nA bit of context, I live in a apartment with a friend and we are musics and films enthusiast, so we like to listen to music and I myself play a little of acoustic guitar. We have a Ultimate Ears Megaboom speaker that can output approximately 90dBA. So when we arrive, we start at medium sound volume and we increase it from time to time since we didn't have any complaint and sometimes we played it at full volume during party on the weekend so we can understand that it can be loud but we were careful to not let it sit on the ground to avoid vibration.\n\n​\n\nBut 6 months after we move in, our neighbour below us is moving out and a friend of him come knocking at our door saying that we were bothering his friend during this time and was pretty angry. We said that we were sorry but he could have come to us to explain the situation before and we would have been polite and decrease the volume so we don't bother anyone. What's bug me is that he never said anything and a friend of him come to us to complain the day he leave.\n\n​\n\nAm I an asshole?\n\n​\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e8985ed5a5134d4eb5b1af07d374f9ba",
|
||
"input": "Alright so first if I feel myself like I didn’t do anything wrong but from my friend’s attitude I’m starting to wonder if maybe I actually did??\n\nAnyways Im (19/F) at my last uni year and so far I’d never managed to make any real friends at my school (I tend to be more friendly w my sports buddies) but this year I met a girl (22) who was really nice and had the same interests as me. We started hanging out, watching movies together, talking etc...\n\nSo one day we go out with our classmates to a pub and I don’t drink much but she gets completely drunk. Since she lives really far away and there’s no bus at that time of night, I offer her to come to my place and sleep it off. She does come and I do my best to be a decent host, making her a bacon and egg midnight snack and getting her room ready.\n\nThree weeks after that we go out again, this time to another student’s place and then to a club and, this time, we planned for me to come back to her place. Since that night she has been avoiding me so I must have fucked up in some way, I just can’t figure out how. Here’s what I did :\n\n- I hit on a guy and left her w one of her friends for about one hour but we met again at the club and I left the guy behind, she didn’t seem bothered by that since she was w other people we knew.\n\n- I got really (REALLY) drunk during the night and ended up being sick on the way home. I’m not an annoying drunk, I’m the \"super honest and affectionate\" kind but I was really fucking plastered and she wasn’t.\n\n- I can’t remember maybe 20-30mn of that night so I might have done something then? I just know that I added the guy I mentioned before on Facebook but idk what else I did. She hasn’t mentioned anything when I asked.\n\nAnyways she hasn’t been talking to me since then unless I try to contact her and usually her answers are pretty dismissive when, before that night, we were really friendly. Was I an asshole for getting drunk like that? Since she did the same when she came to my place I assumed this would be fine but, obviously, I did something wrong. She never mentioned not wanting me to drink before coming to her place either.\n\nIt’s been about ten days since that night and I still have no idea of what I did that caused this.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6cdfffd5943142869a8e8dd1a6ba1585",
|
||
"input": "This happened a week ago. I'm kind of feeling anxious about this even though my friends reassured me I did nothing wrong. I just wanted reddits opinion. \n\nLast week, my friend (Rob) and I visited Victoria, B.C., and we came back to Vancouver on a ferry that was absolutely full. It was the most popular crossing time back home and throughout the duration of the crossing, the steward kept making announcements to please remove jackets and bags from seats because people have no where to sit. Stupidly, my friend and I decided to eat before finding a seat. Once we were done, we walked around the ferry, all levels, trying to get a seat with no luck. Finally, we came across a row of seats that were empty, with 2 books taking up seats right in the middle. In my brain, this meant that those 2 middle seats are \"reserved\" by someone, so my friend and I took the seats on the sides (aisle and window). We both thought this would be fine, as we left the \"reserved\" seats empty. 20 minutes later, a couple comes by. I was reading, Rob was sleeping. I heard them talk (not English) so I looked up at them and then they asked me why we took their seats. I haaaate confrontation as I have pretty bad social anxiety. I politely told them that my friend and I were looking for seats and we took the 2 that were empty. They are welcome to return to the 2 seats they reserved. Then they told me that they had in fact reserved all 4 seats and that their friends are coming back. I apologized again, but I said I wouldn't move because:\n1. Only 2 of 4 seats were \"reserved\". \n2. There were 4 people in their party, they couldve left someone behind to guard their seats. They brought their food and drink over to the seats so it's not like they just went to eat in the cafeteria area of the ferry. They were going to eat in their seats. \n3. Rob and I walked over 20km that day, I wasn't going to walk all over the damn ferry again. It was too cold to sit outside. \n\nI would appreciate your opinion. \n\nSorry for the wall of text, am on mobile. \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f4e62bccf5cd462b80c2b51066939804",
|
||
"input": "My friend and I hang out a lot, but recently our dynamic has changed. About a month ago I told her I liked her, but that I didn't expect her to feel the same way and I hoped our relationship would remain intact. We have been very close and not much has changed.\n\nRecently, however, she has been treating me like dirt. I would want to hang out with her and be near her, but she would tell me to f*** off. I figured she was just in a bad mood, (confirmed by mutual friends) but she doesn't seem to have a problem with anyone but me.\n\nI talked to a few of our friend and apparently she is going through a really tough time right now, and she felt super bad for telling me off the way she did. I have been giving her as much space as I possibly can. When she walks into a room and ignores me, I leave until she is gone. I feel like I've done everything I can to let her process what she needs to, but she doesn't seem to feel bad at all anymore.\n\nThis has had a huge impact on my life recently. She has made me feel like dirt by pushing me away. At this point, I'm not even sure I like her romantically anymore, but this is still hurting me because she's one of my best friends.\n\nI don't even know what she's mad about, and all of my friends are saying she feels bad about what she's been doing, but she's done nothing to change it or even apologize. I sent her a few texts apologizing for whatever I may have done wrong and asking what I could do to fix it, but she's ignored them.\n\nMy only solution I have left is to walk up to her and tell her what she is doing to me. How this isn't because of me liking her, but because she is my friend. But with all of the stuff she's going through, it may just make things worse.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4cca0d80782e4468a5b9608a0d93616c",
|
||
"input": "Obviously in order to be a doctor, you have to be smart, you have to be convincted, study hard, and you also probably have to have a talent for the feild of science already, and you should be mentally stable, be able to perform well under stress. I mean getting into med school is not easy, and being a doctor sure as hell isn't a cake walk, extremely so depending on the feild. My roommate is none of those things. At all. He says he wants to be a pediatric surgeon.\n\nWe are both freshman. He got all C's through highschool, but says that it's just because he didn't try. Now in college he's saying he doesn't study or try because this is \"just the basic stuff\" and he will try harder once he gets to the advanced stuff. I'm a bio major, so right now our courses have a lot of crossover. He can't do the homework, but I refuse to help him with it because he doesn't pay attention in class and never studies, the college offers free tutors but he won't go. He flunked general chemistry first semester and still isn't taking it seriously this semester. \n\nHe has anxiety and depression and is very far from a mentally stable person. He's moody and says he gets panic attacks over small tests, again not a trait for a CHILD SURGEON. \n\nHe says he loves the feild, but he spends all of his time watching make up videos, he never ever seems interested in his studies in the slightest. \n\nThis semester, we learned that he is only taking 11 credits and working 10 hours as a cashier. He complains all the time about how busy he is none the less even though we know it's all bullshit. \n\nHis parents are from a culture that makes them want for him to be a doctor, his friends are all dumb so they encourage him with no thought behind it, the college only wants his money, I am the only person who I feel is being honest about what is extremely evident. This guy will never be a doctor, and pretending like he will be is just costing him hundreds of thousands of dollars and waisting his time, and I worry about what he will do when he comes to this realization.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-879455678a9741fa8ce25cc3ddc6b6e5",
|
||
"input": "I've this classmate in every class that just makes me uncomfortable, they talk behind my back (even if I can obliviously hear them) and try to exclude me. They've been away for a while and it was so much better without them. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3ba9e26600564e2496d51463e0466569",
|
||
"input": "Some background: I’ve (21F) been living in an apartment with an ex-coworker (25F) for 6 months after her old roommate broke the lease due to a hostile living environment. (The old roommate threatened to burn the place down and a lot of drama happened between them. They were both in the wrong though.) Shortly after I moved in my roommates little sister (18F) started staying with us and eventually moved in too. She does nothing to help. And our lease states that there can only be two occupants living here although the landlord hasn’t noticed bc the little sister doesn’t drive. I don’t care that she’s living with us but she plays a part in a lot of this. \n\nThere’s also been an unspoken rule that you clean up after yourself. This is where I’ve had the most problem. Things were fine up until I started dating my boyfriend 4 months ago and left the job that my roommate and I worked at. She’s a messier person than I am but has a “holier than thou” attitude when it comes to cleaning and it’s only gotten worse. I’m talking literal shit covering the toilet after almost every use, a shower that had never been cleaned before I moved in, and the kitchen is always in a state. IE the trash can is overflowing after a day, counters are dirty, and the fridge has food rotting in there for weeks and even months at a time. I’ve been cleaning it all up until about 3 weeks ago. I don’t ask her for anything in return and honestly have given up even trying to talk to her bc she just ignores me when I try. Today I overheard her bitching about the trash not being taken out and also stating that she’s “tired of having to clean up after everybody”. \nTo keep this shorter I’m going to say that I clean up after myself and leave any mess that they make for them (minus the toilet bc that’s just disgusting). We don’t talk to each other and she leaves passive aggressive notes for me. I have 4 months left in my lease so I’m just trying to keep my head down and get out as soon as I can (I stay in my room for the most part.) AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e4e283c283e14a64be46e4252fd6214f",
|
||
"input": "Lindsey and I have been best friends for a decade. She's a lovely girl inside and out, and unfortunately has some self-esteem issues due to an emotionally abusive mother. \n\nThroughout our friendship, Lindsey's weight has consistently yo-yo'd. She would go on diet and exercise kicks for a few months, lose 15-20 pounds, and then quickly gain it all back. Every time she did, her awful mother would rag on her. Lindsey would come to me for reassurance that she's not the obese failure her mom has told her she is, which almost always included her asking, \"You'd tell me if I reached that point, right?\" I reassured her that she was fine the way she was and that she could count on me to tell her if she ever reached that point. \n\nWell, that point has been reached, and I don't know what to do. On the one hand, her weight has reached a point where I am starting to get concerned for her health. On the other hand, I know her mother is still harping on her for it, and I worry that having her best friend agree with her mom will crush Lindsey. \n\nTL;DR: Best friend of 10 years always said to tell her if her weight got out of control. She has reached that point, but I'm afraid to tell her because her emotionally abusive mother has destroyed her self-esteem. WIBTA if I was honest with her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-700e55cafc844535ab91c24b47f03dee",
|
||
"input": "My uncle is getting married this weekend.\n\nEveryone knows except his kids. And ex-wife.\n\nHis ex-wife has some dirt on him that could get him fired from a job he's about to retire from in a few months. So he hasn't told his kids because then his ex would find out etc.\n\nI am friends with the kids (my cousins), we love and care about each other a lot.\n\nAITA if I attend this wedding, knowing what I do?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b2690fbc8f93428b83c60cc33db19d61",
|
||
"input": "I’m debating on how to respond to a message sent by a friend who missed my wedding. \n\nWe have been friends now for about 5 years. We initially met because I needed a sitter for my dog and she answered my advertisement. But we became fast friends and even though she still dog sits for me occasionally, we chat and hang out as friends. I got engaged about 2 years ago and she was invited to the bridal shower by my maid of honor, but never rsvped. My MOH asked for help in getting her response and when I asked her, she said she wasn’t good at the manners thing but couldn’t make it and didn’t know she needed to respond no. Annoying but whatever. She also declined out of bachelorette. Okay. We still chat and talk like normal during the time. She flakes out of a few get togethers we had planned but that’s normal. We chat about my wedding occasionally and she tells me she’s excited, her and her boyfriend are making a weekend out of it. \n\nThe wedding comes and it’s amazing. So much fun. But I realize she’s not there. So I text her the next morning on the way to the honeymoon and ask if she’s okay. No response. Three days later, I ask again. She responds with a long message about how (cliff notes version) on the way she got caught in the rain, so had to change, then boyfriends car needed gas, but because they were late she rushed out of car to pay for gas and put weight on her foot weird and hurt it. So they turned the car around and went to the doctor. Foot is fine, she’s fine. Boyfriend is irritated they missed it and says she ” owes him dinner now LOL.” She said she was sorry, she loved me, and had a gift. We would plan a time for her to come over.\n\nIf I believe this story, which I’m not sure I do, I’m still irked by it. If it’s real, why not text me the next day and say it? Why do I have to ask twice if she’s okay and get a response four days later? How does a foot you put weight on weird prevent you from coming to a friends wedding? \n\nSo I haven’t responded yet. What I want to say, is I’m hurt and disappointed and annoyed. That her story is iffy at best and if I was important to her, she would have been there. That weddings are expensive and I had to eat the cost of her two dinners. That I’m not sure this is working for me anymore and I need some space to decide if I can still be friends. \n\nBut is that dramatic? Am I the asshole if I say that? Am I overreacting in general? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1dc6a9de6e7144d782a335bbc3dea468",
|
||
"input": "My roommate has not had any laundry detergent of his own, me and my other roommates usually buy laundry pods every couple of weeks to do our laundry. My roommate hasn't picked up any laundry detergent since moving in in August and when there aren't any pods around or laundry detergent he pours simple green all purpose cleaner into our washing machine to wash his clothes. I have told him multiple times that I don't want him using that and that he needs to pick up laundry detergent. AITA for not wanting all purpose cleaner poured into our washing machine? Laundry pods are twenty cents each at our local grocery store down the street so I don't understand how that can be justifiable. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9f2fb12583a54b74afe2e2dfe5f5179a",
|
||
"input": "So me and my siblings were playing a game together and my brother rage quit after losing, I kinda laughed and he's like, \"Huh? YOU GOT A PROBLEM HUH?\" and then my sister backs him up saying that, \"u/ChiggyNuggetNEET, not everyone can be perfect like you.\" My sister and brother proceed to throw there words at me and what not yelling at me. So, here's the question, Am I the Ass here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2333a53366f445a886410292ce79520a",
|
||
"input": "So my wife and I were at a major retailer bookstore last weekend. She and I were sitting in some chairs perusing a book or two - it was quite busy as it was a rainy weekend. I got done looking at my book and wandered off to find something else to look at. About ten minutes later I notice another seat in the 4 chair circle is open so I grab something and head back.\n\nWhen I got to the seat there were four books in the chair (all three other seats were taken). I leaned over to pick up the books and my wife says “hey I think the guy sitting there was saving the seat”, but I was like meh whatevs, no one pays to sit here so I picked up the books and set them on the table and sat down.\n\nWithin 30 seconds the guy (we’ll call him book guy or bg) shows up and the following conversation ensues:\n\nBG: hey man I was sitting there. Me: I’m sorry, I’m pretty sure these seats are public use. When I got up earlier someone else sat where I was and I waited for another seat to open. BG: (becoming irate) but I set my books on the chair! Me: you mean (insert store name here)’s books? BG: yeah but I picked them out Me: okay I’m pretty sure putting other people’s stuff on other people’s stuff doesn’t make that now your stuff BG: you clearly don’t understand, asshole Me: I mean, I understand I just don’t care\n\nAnyway, I feel like I was being pricking but come to find out my wife and another woman sitting there said after he had been gone for like 10 minutes and a few other people had been turned away by the books. I just thought his expecting to save the seat was ridiculous and probably was more confrontational than I should have been.\n\nWhat do y’all think, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2f426b6ea5ac45dab2de16dac17b28d9",
|
||
"input": "I have a friend who is a 16 year old girl who goes to church with me. One day she excitingly texted me about how she bought a \"really cute sundress\" with sunflowers on it. \n\nFlash forward to this past Sunday, when she wore that dress. It was a very flattering dress on her, but it wasn't overly sexual. It covered up everything that needed to be covered up and it went down to her knees. She told me that her dad made some really rude remarks about how short the dress was before they went to church. Saying that it showed too much up top and down low.\n\nAfter church she texted me extremely upset because apparently someone complained to her parents that her dress was too short. Her father went as far to say that some of the comments he heard made him feel “embarrassed.\" She said that basically the entire way home, they scolded her for how short her dress was.\n\nI told her it was bullshit. That she could wear whatever she wanted to. That she shouldn’t be shamed for what she wore and that her parents were wrong for getting embarrassed about those \"comments\" and that whoever complained to them was a \"f\\*cking idiot\" so on and so forth. I even went as far as calling her parents inappropriate names. I used a lot of words I really should not have said, but these comments really upset me. I have a sister and know that if someone ever commented negatively on her outfit, it would really trouble her.\n\nLast night, I got a text from said friend reading \"well this is discouraging” and then a long text basically saying \"She is 16 and can not wear whatever she feels like if it is revealing. Modesty and purity are extremely important to us and and I am extremely disappointed in this whole conversation.\" Her mother took her phone, read our messages, and texted me on her phone.\n\nI was taken back, and didn't want to cause anymore drama so I just told her that I was sorry and was trying to stand up for her.\n\nShe responded with another long text saying how she wants to protect her from \"pervs and anyone else that would want to take advantage of someone so pretty and awesome\" and then said that her and I would speak more later.\n\nI've been struggling with this all day because I've had friends tell me IWTA because I overstepped my bounds by telling her that she could wear whatever she wanted and that people were idiotic to complain about it. I know I used language I shouldn't but I was just infuriated at the whole situation.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-809435fbb4264e25b63f6551954ae0df",
|
||
"input": "(First off sorry for formatting, mobile)\n\nMy girlfriend and I have rekindled our relationship recently after hitting a rough patch. She has her friends and I have mine and to get to the point, we are both in the band at the college (she's in the color guard) . And for those who don't know we band nerds change all the time together. The color guard changes separate and together as they are all made up of females. \n\nYesterday after my classes I was in one the band room's practice rooms, catching up on some work. When a friend of mine ,(we'll call her J) who is also in the guard and knows my gf, walks in and asks to change in there, to which i say yes. As I'm gathering my things in my pack she starts taking her clothes off. I then just grab my phone and leave my stuff there. \n\nJ then says \"you didn't have to leave\"\n\nTo which I respond \"it's a matter of respect\"\n\nThis small incident made me feel uncomfortable. So I did what I normally do. I talk to my girlfriend,(in this class text) I like to be transparent about everything with her. She then takes this information and cold shoulders me, and just doesn't talk to me. I try to give her space, and she tells me how she feels after an evening with no communication. I tell her I understand but I didn't like that she took her anger out on me. She tells me that I dont understand how she feels and that I'm being insensitive and I should just forget about it and it shouldn't be a big deal. And our conversation ends.\n\nI saw her on campus today, frustrated, we talk some more about it and I tell her that it's not right that shes talking her frustration out on me when I came for help. And I dont see this as something that put our relationship progress back. And she then said I clearly dont understand, it would be the last time she came to me about problems. I then said that's shes in the wrong, I can understand jealousy or J being disrespectful to us, but it's not right to take it out on me, and the strain of the relationship that is happening right now comes from her, and that she is being the problem instead of dropping it like she said to. I can be kind and understanding but this is ridiculous.\n\nAITA?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8282b030aea247d3ba78eaaa78dde019",
|
||
"input": "CONTEXT: Ever since I (M,15) was a little kid I’ve been bullied extensively and I never had any real friends. I grew up with extreme trust issues and to this day I’m constantly scared that I’m the odd one out in every friendship group I’m in. \n\nI’m now a Sophomore in high school and I attend a youth group every Tuesday with some friends. These friends are a group of Grade 12s (Seniors) along with Sophmore and one Junior. They’ve all been a group for a little bit and I recently joined in the summer.\n\nThese friends are all really awesome and I’m especially good friends with the Junior (let’s call her E), who is the girlfriend of one of the Seniors (let’s call him C). I’ve known C since I was young, but since he’s older I didn’t talk to him much before now. We’re now good friends.\n\nAnyway, last Tuesday I had a breakdown at youth group. Me and this group were watching Hereditary and someone asked if the dog died, and asked someone to google it, so I did. They all got “mad at me” for spoiling the movie, and I got upset because they asked me to find out (I found out later they were joking). I have a social disorder and I can’t tell when someone’s being serious or not, as well as anxiety and depression, so I took it seriously. This isn’t the first time this group has made jokes making fun of me; C pretends to bully me and I’m fine with it, but I’ve started to read too much into it.\n\nLong story short, I left youth group in tears and didn’t respond to E and C’s texts asking where I went. I later returned after finally talking to E, where she told me I was only noticing the times everyone was saying things about me. I trust and love E and I don’t at all think this was gaslighting or anything, and I think I was reading too much into it. When I got back, everyone acted differently and a lot more gentle with me.\n\nThis isn’t the first time I’ve broken down in front of these people. I love them and I’m afraid that I’m being a toxic friend and that they feel they have to walk on eggshells around me. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b1a97d6c625d47f7820347a83305a375",
|
||
"input": "I was house sitting for a friend since Friday. I had my bf over on Saturday and didn’t think twice about it. I never discussed it with my friend who I was house sitting. I never thought it would be an issue. When my friend came back I mentioned that my bf really liked this coffee table she has. She acted a little weird and I pressed her what was wrong. She said she didn’t appreciate that I invited someone over to her house without asking her first. He’s not a stranger, he’s my bf. I really didn’t expect her to care. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fc51b80456b54e9bb3ff421df37aa22c",
|
||
"input": "\ni cant stand the sight of my mother. I cant look at her face without feeling ill. It ruins my whole day. I dont even think that i have recovered in the next day. I dont know what she did. This was not always the case. I geuss that stranger things have happend. She does not need me. We have our own lives. Is anyone else like this?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-792a10b2e50541f683c8054ab198255d",
|
||
"input": "Hello all,\n\nI am having an issue with one of my friends \n(Lets call him Dave) and thought I'd see if I am handling this properly.\n\nTo start I am quite upset and have decided that I will not be attending an event this weekend that we have planned awhile ago.\n\nWhat happened:\n\nTwo weeks ago Dave invited two of his friends to his house party. I have met the one a few times but not the other. Everything was going well and the party was a fun time until these two new people decided I wasnt drunk enough for them and started pressuring me to drink shots with them. By this time I was at a perfect drunk for myself and didn't want to push my limits so I declined. They became annoyingly insistent getting everyone in the party to call me a pussy and other names and make the whole focus of the party on me drinking this nasty ass rum. Eventually I caved and drank a shot but that wasnt good enough either and these two people kept harrassing me to drink. A few more shots deep and I was at the point of no return and blacked out. I threw up and passed out and felt that hangover for two days.\n\nI know my drinking limits and I am very good at finding the right buzz for the occasion. I dont need to be told to drink and I was very pissed off both at myself for letting them pressure me and these people for forcing me to. \n\nCut to this weekend where I was invited to another predrink and bar night. I talked to Dave and discussed the plan and whatever. We had a two hour conversation catching up and I told him how I felt about his friends he invited and I asked who was all going this time and they werent mentioned. Cool.\n\nI show up and we are all having a good time but then Dave shows up with these two friends of his. Immediately they are on my case to drink. I flat out told them no and they wouldnt let it go. 5 minutes into them joining our party I am yelling at them to leave me alone. Dave knows how I felt about last time and he is just watching this go on and also at points is encouraging them. \n\nThis goes on the whole night. I told myself I wouldn't let them persuade me this time and they didn't but because of that night the whole night I was harrassed because I wouldn't drink with them. They tried every berating insult they could muster to the point people came up to me including Dave's girlfriend apologizing for their behavior. \n\nI ignored it the best I could and focused on making it a good night for myself. Well the next morning they're in one of our fb group chats mocking me even more and I am just done with these guys. \n\nI talked to our other friends and they agreed they didnt enjoy these guys' company and I called Dave and told them I didnt ever want to be involved in plans with them again. If he wants to hangout with them power to him but they're assholes who can't take no for an answer and I asked him to stop bringing them around me. He agreed and I thought the issue was over.\n\nCut to 10 minutes later he adds them to our call and asks me to explain why I dont want to hangout with them anymore.\n\nI couldn't believe it. I felt so betrayed in that moment that Dave would sell me out like that and force a confrontation with these guys I dont even know or want to further socialize with. I hung up on him and then called him back and tried to explain how mad he would be if I betrayed him like that. He didn't understand how I was mad and didnt think it was a big deal.\n\nI haven't talked to him since and we have an event planned this weekend that I have told everyone I wont be going to.\n\nAm I overreacting? Or am I justified in not wanting to see Dave for awhile.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2b8a8875b7c3427aa3f05991243050fb",
|
||
"input": "So i meet with a church group a few times a month and each meeting there is a different public speaker that talks and answers questions before we break up into small groups for prayer and discussion about the points the Speaker makes. \n\n\nThis week cops came in and talked about public saftey and whatnot, but their discussion was completely derailed because all of these ladies wouldn't shut the fuck up about the homeless population and mentioning how they fear for their safety and their childrens saftey if they are just anywhere near a homeless person in a public setting. And they kept asking the cops if it was legal to call 911 on a homeless person asleep at a park because \"It scares me that they are spending so much time at a park where children play and I fear that they might attempt to kidnap my children or follow me home\" \n\n\n\n\nAnyway, we broke up into small groups and talked about the homeless most of the time. I was biting my tongue the whole time because I am sort of an \"imposter\" in the group. Like I am not a religious person/never been baptized or anything, and I'm not even sure where I stand on God and all, but I like to keep an open mind, and i have met some awesome friends though this meeting so i keep attending. But ot got to the point where I just couldn't keep it in any longer. Some woman said something along the lines of \"You always need to be so careful anywhere you go. There are so many terrible and sick disgusting men in this world. The rec center is the worst, but certainly never let your kids go to any trailer parks even if you are having a mommy and me play date. Like if you find out your friend lives in a trailer it would be best to never go to her house. Trailer parks are just disgusting. And the rec center is even worse because theres creepy old men there and the homeless go there to shower and shave since its cheap, and they spend all of their time in the hot tubs and just wait for the perfect time to abduct a child!\" \n\n\n\nAnd I shit you not. There was numerous stories about how the homeless were so scary and its just best if you never make eye contact and just bassically pretend they don't even exist.... \n\n\n\nThis is where I lost my shit. I interjected and let them know that I have spent so much time with the homeless population, and that I,myself, have actually panhandled/begged for money as well as lived out of my car when i was a young teen. I told them some personal stories and tired to show them that not ALL homeless people are looking for an easy way to support a drinking/drug habit, and I even encouraged them that it is totally possible to talk to a homeless person and not magically get abducted. But i certainly let them know that the gross judgement they were making was not only sickning, but also extremely non-christian. \n\n\n\nThey immediately changed the topic but i could still sense the tension, so AITA for sharing my opinion/experience when I was so pissed off that a group of women could be so judgemental? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bc5065cd9310441494b8f6c98d875062",
|
||
"input": "My boyfriend gets colds often. Every single time I'm by his side making him food, getting him medicine, and making sure he's comfortable. \n\nWe have been together for two years, and have lived together for most of it. In those two years I have not once gotten sick, until now. \n\nIn the middle of my bartending shift this morning I felt terrible. Fever, sore throat, coughing fits, everything. On top of that, it was an overall shit shift with mean customers and terrible tips. \n\nI got home and told him how I felt and joked that I was finally sick for the first time in our relationship, and that it was his turn to look after me. He then makes a joke about me taking NyQuil, and passing out so he can go out. \n\nI take medicine, fall asleep for about two hours, then he wakes me up to tell me he's going to the casino with a friend. I'm upset, obviously, but I can't stop him. \n\nAgain, he woke me up. And because I'm extremely uncomfortable I can't fall back asleep. It's been 6 hours and I'm still awake (3am here) and he's still at the casino. I call him, he doesn't answer, and texts me \"take more medicine. Please don't bother me\". \n\nI'm furious. AITA for thinking he should be at least NICE to me right now? \n\nTLDR: boyfriend has been at the casino for 6 hours after waking me up while I have a fever",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-303d01cf6f20421e8eda945f8b55e12d",
|
||
"input": " \n\nBit of a long one here but bear with me. So this happened about 2 months ago and I have opinions from my friends but I wanted other peoples’ opinions on the matter. Over the summer my friend was at her annual army training for a month, away from her boyfriend, this has never been a problem for them because it would be her second time doing this while they were together, not to mention her leaving once a month to go on drill. Anyway she comes back and they begin having some relationship problems, mostly about what they want to do with their lives, I should also point out he is nearly 4 years older than her (almost 25 now). He has his life set and a career in front of him and she wants a career in the army which could send her basically anywhere in the world.\n\nFast forward a couple weeks and they “break up” for the first time, so to take her mind off of it we decided to go out with a group of friends for some drinks, she planned to sleep on the couch at my house and her boyfriend did not like that fact (I am a guy and he has never been a fan of me). So when she left that was when they “broke up”. When we were out and she got some drinks in her it was like she never even was dating him, let alone the fact that they were together not hours earlier, but she was just all over any guy that would give her attention, especially other guys in ROTC with her.\n\nThis cycle continues a couple more times and one day when I was home over the summer she texted me saying she wanted to hook up with me and that she has wanted to for a while now, she was of course, absolutely wasted, and complaining that her boyfriend doesn’t pay any attention to her like she needs it. I texted her that she is going to regret what she is saying in the morning and she did. Then I get a call from her saying that she had gone home and slept with a bartender from that night and that she didn’t know what to do or how to explain anything to her boyfriend. This is when I tell her she has to be up front with him about it and take whatever he does on the chin or just break up with him.\n\nShe opts for neither and decides to not tell him anything for a while. I let it slide because I knew she was trying to figure some stuff out about her future. But then she started hooking up with the lieutenant that was in charge of her at school. For those that don’t know thing about the military this is a BIG no no. this went on for a while and it started to really irritate me because she would be late to meet ups with myself and other friends because she was “busy” with this guy. During this time, her and her boyfriend were going through a rough patch but they weren’t officially broken up yet. Eventually I confronted her about the whole thing and told her she was jeopardizing her future by doing this and a fling when you’re this young isn’t worth risking your career.\n\nShe takes my advice and afterwards it seems like she is going to cut things off with her boyfriend officially and just be done… until he came to her house crying one night because he missed her, and she bought the whole thing. I will point out she did tell him she had been talking to other guys during their rough spot but he didn’t care that she had been “talking” to other dudes.\n\nEventually I hit a breaking point, people had recently been not up front with me about important things and I didn’t think what she was doing to him was at all fair, so I told him, “I know you’re not my biggest fan but I am not one of the guys that she hooked up with”. This of course started a shitstorm of epic proportions, my friend even tried messaging the girl I had recently ended things with asking if she wanted to do “mean shit” to get back at me.\n\nI dint feel bad for what I did because if I were the guy I would want to know the truth about what is going on, plus from my point it was a generally unhealthy relationship on both sides (I really think he is just staying with her because he wants to be engaged with someone in less than a year) so big question, am I the asshole for doing what I did and exposing my best friend to her boyfriend?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4930aefa6dfa4d9ab08edd6c2ea6e9e7",
|
||
"input": "I'm narcoleptic. I've had it for around three years now, but just got the official diagnosis about a half a year ago. It makes a lot of things in my life very, very hard. But my friends don't seem to understand that. \n\nWhen I first got it, I was sleeping around 20 hours a day. The cataplexy was so bad doctor's though my muscles had atrophied. I could barely lift my arms above my head. Since I was sleeping so much I couldn't eat as much, and I dropped down to 79 pounds (I'm 4'11, so it's scary but not like super life threatening). It's gotten better since then, but it still effects me greatly. A couple weeks ago I was hanging out with my friends and mentioned that the pharmacy fucked up my meds again and that I was genuinely worried about how I was going to handle myself until I got them back. I'm in college and I've already missed a lot of classes at this point because of my narcolepsy, even with my meds. Without them I cant function. One of my friends kinda laughs it off like \"you'll be fine\", another one says \"just drink coffee\". \n\nA little bit before that, I had sat down individually with my friends and told them what to do if I had a narcoleptic attack in front of them, especially in public. I can kinda feel them coming on, so I'm very very good at sneaking off to have sleep attacks in private. Because of this, none of them had even seen me have a full blown attack. Anyways, I told them to help me get to somewhere safe and private, help me take my meds and let me sleep for around 15 minutes before trying to wake me up. Simple stuff. \n\nSo I was real sick of them not taking my illness seriously. They don't need to baby me or anything, just understand that sometimes shit is really hard for me and it's scary. I was hanging out at one of my friends places with some other people about a week ago, and I got an idea. I wanted to see if they actually listened to what I told them before. So I dramatically stood up and collapsed onto the floor (my real attacks arnt that flashy, since I know how to deal with them). My friends are confused. They don't know what to do, until one of them reminds the others I'm narcoleptic. So what do they do? Put a blanket over my body and leave me in the middle of the room. Fantastic. I stay down for 10 minutes maybe (trying hard not to actually fall asleep) before getting up and excusing myself home. It definitely made some of the people there uncomfortable. \n\nI feel manipulative for pulling this 'test' on them. \n\nAITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8a9ca22cbd044ff7bf3e1beda2d4672d",
|
||
"input": "I'm 22, and I recently got a DWI. I'm now(or maybe not) living with my dad, and my stepmom. I no longer have my car, I have to figure out how to make money, and move forward. I've had a job 3 YEARS, and he want's to kick me out because I want to go back to work. I have a ride there and back, he has to do nothing to help me get there. It affects him in no way.\n\nI have been given set rules, be home by 12 ect.. I follow them. A rule was get a job, I've got ALOT of court fees coming up. I HAVE a job. I have HAD IT 3 YEARS, and I make GOOD money, and these people are my family. My manager has worked with me these past two weeks since the event, keeping my name on schedule, and open to ANY shifts I can make it too. She wants to help me no matter what and has left my name up, even when I went to jail for 3 days, she simply told me she's glad I'm okay. My grandma wants to bring me to work in the morning, and I will always have a ride back. This is only Tuesday and Wednesday. Two days a week from 9:30 to 5. Any other job, and I am getting a second one here like he wants, is going to be a bus commute and me asking for rides and figuring out what to do, and waiting to be hired and I'm okay with that.\n\nBUT. This job is solid, and I'm guaranteed to start working immediately and have income. My dad is saying he will kick me out if I choose to work here. He claims it's his rules and to my grandma he is \"helping her, and she needs to be humble follow my rules and listen too me.\" There's no real reason.They aren't home then. They don't have to take me. It affects them in no way. My own grandma is against him in this, her son. Helping me would be letting me go to work, not taking away a job I've had three years. My attorney even said I should maintain this job.\n\nI had to call my manager tonight, to tell her I can't go in tomorow because of this, and he SCREAMED AT ME in the background, she heard, and she was just trying to go to bed. It was awful. I told her I'll call her tomorow. I told him earlier in the day I was going to work, and he didn't say I couldn't. He didn't act this against it, UNTIL my step mom stepped in. Then threatened him. She took the kids away this evening over it. She also lied about me screaming at her, I have video evidence proving otherwise. She began this entire situation and can't be told anything she doesn't like. She's awful. She told me have a job, by the end of the week. I had this in a day. This job has nothing to do with the trouble I got in. That was in two entirely different cities, ACROSS a ferry system. This is a different place, I would go straight to work and back. Yet he wants to kick me out over it. I'm kinda prepared to let him no matter how hard things will be on me. I'm currently at my grandmas, thinking about what to do. I told him he was wrong and kick me out over it, but we are both talking to him tomorow.\n\nI'm trying my best. I don't understand. So reddit.. am I really wrong? AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b085a69976924df2b3e92f8dbf9c6373",
|
||
"input": "So firstly, some back story on our relationship and financial situation: \n\nMy boyfriend and I have a mortgage together along with the normal bills that come along with owning a home. Plus 2 car payments, student loans, etc. You know, the typical bills everyone is overwhelmed with. My boyfriend makes close to 60k a year where I make closer to 35k. Our mortgage is roughly 1800 a month. We have a daughter together and I have 2 other daughters from a previous relationship. Currently, he refuses to get a joint account. I’ve tried to push combining our finances but he refuses at this point. I believe it’s because he distrusts me with money. So he currently pays for the mortgage, car insurance and his phone bill. I pay for everything else. The electric, water, both car payments, internet, Netflix subscription, daycare costs, our mutually shared credit card (that we used to pay for renovations in our home) and any other expense you can think of incurring. I foolishly wracked up over $6000 on a credit card by buying items for our home such as a new mattress and other household items. I can’t remember the last time I purchased something for myself, alone. Everything I purchase benefits all members of the family or is used by the family. I also have an agreement with my ex that I will claim the kids and give him a percentage that matches the amount time that he has the kids, so about 40% of what I received for the two oldest. \n\nNow, I did get a decent amount of money back this year. I was really excited at being able to pay my credit card off and having money left over for savings as it just makes me feel secure having it in there. Well, my boyfriend asked for his half of the return for the children since he provides for them also. So after paying off my credit card and giving him his portion. I now have only $300 in my bank account. Am I wrong for being pissed for having give this to him? Every pay period, I am struggling to keep my head above water with all the bills I pay. I’ve tried talking to him about how I understand he thinks it’s “fair” for us to pay 50/50 of the bills. But I think he struggles to comprehend that I also make nearly half of what he does. I’m constantly scraping by every month and never seem to be able save any money. \n\nAm I the asshole for being disgruntled and pissed off for having to give him half, leaving me with virtually no left over money for my own security? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dd306a84f24f4af7bd35cd0d93a601c3",
|
||
"input": "I basically got mad through text and said I didn’t like the way he treated me when we were hanging out a couple of days ago. \n\nI texted it to him and he said I was annoying and he said he didn’t want to bring up the fight that I had with my friends. However, he was being rude in other ways when we were hanging out like saying are you really stupid and other stuff like that. He said I was annoying and it was the second time I’ve done this. \n\nHe even said those people being mean to me weren’t toxic and didn’t support me at all. \n\nI tried to message him and talk to him for the past few days, but he’s ignoring me. \n\nAITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-643ad60c66a6499caf7c5df441d6277a",
|
||
"input": "I just recently discovered this sub and thought it would be a good way to decide on something I have been struggling with for years.\n\nEver since I was a kid my sister was always horrible to me. She's 2 years older than me and she would always treat me like shit. Up until I was about 6, I adored her. I always wanted to be around her but she would always push me away. For example, at times she would just be playing on the computer and I would ask if I could sit in the room and play by myself so I wouldn't bother her. Then she'd hit me and yell at me until I would leave. Things like this happened on a daily basis. Eventually, I started having the same feelings towards her. I hated her and we would fight constantly. I've never been a big guy so she would always win, especially since she had 2 years on me. Basically, she made my childhood a living hell. I was also bullied a lot as a kid and she didn't do anything to stand up for me, in fact, she joined in at times. Specifically around 7th and 8th grade, I was bullied all the time because I was really small and a ginger, basically the easiest target there is. Going through puberty while being bullied by not only your classmates but also by your sister was really hard.\n\nTo give a little more background, my sister and I are polar opposites. She's an extrovert, she fit in with the popular crowd in high school and partied all the time. I'm very introverted as most of you can probably relate with. I like to stay in my room on the weekends and play video games. This was always something she used to make me feel bad. She would always call me a hermit and say I have no life. Any time she would get in trouble with my parents, she would try to take the attention off herself by bringing me up and saying things like, \"look at him, all he does is sit in his room!\" I always did that because I wanted nothing to do with her. I would insult her too, but rarely was I ever the first one to say something. I mainly just kept to myself so I wouldn't be her target.\n\nRight now, I'm a senior in high school and my sister is a sophomore in college. Within the past couple years we've tried to mend our relationship. We're on a lot better terms now than when she still lived with us. My parents kind of helped with that. My mom basically had to tell my sister how horrible she was to me as a kid because up until then, my sister thought it wasn't a big deal. When she was told that, she felt really bad and has been trying to get on better terms ever since, although at times she treats me just like she did when we were kids. This has been going on for the past 2 years, ever since she moved out. I still don't like her and haven't forgiven her for what she did to me. I haven't directly expressed this to her or my parents. Whenever I try to bring it up to my mom, she just tells me to get over it, and what happened is in the past. I find it hard to get over something that is still happening though.\n\nI don't want to make her seem worse than she is. My sister rarely treats me like shit anymore, but I think that has a lot to do with her not being around a lot. I don't talk to her often but when I do she's really nice. We go to movies together and talk a lot whenever she's home from college. Every once in a while though, she'll snap and everything will go back to when we were kids. Sometimes I snap too. I've said things that I regret, and I know my sister has too.\n\nI know my sister really wants to be on good terms, but I don't care to. I really couldn't care less if I don't see her for another 5 years. I still do care about her since she's my sister, but I really don't like her. It's a big point of contention in our family. Whenever my sister is around, problems start popping up left and right. My mom says it's because I'm holding onto a grudge. \n\nSo reddit, am I the asshole here?\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d2f834b39595405e929fb88cd094cc1f",
|
||
"input": "So this is weird. I was reading a comment section on a news website that said a certain politician was 'gaslighting'. Curious, i googled it.\n\nApparently this is when manipulative sociopaths try to make people doubt their sanity by telling them false things happened, or by telling them true things didnt happen, correct? Heres the issue.\n\nI do this all the time, to coworkers, to friends, and to family. I find it funny, like a prank.\n\nLike telling my coworker our boss wanted to see him the next morning, and then when our boss tells him there was no meeting i would convince him that i never said what i said and he believes me.\n\nOr telling my girlfriend to get me bluebell ice cream, then when she does ill tell her i asked her for ben and jerrys. Then when she gets me b&j ill tell her i asked for bluebell.\n\nOr calling my friend and asking him where hes at, pretending that we had plans and were going to hang out all day when in reality no such plans existed.\n\nI told all of this to my online friends and they say that im abusing people whereas i think this is just a standard bait and switch inside joke i have.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0bab493b43744d4a94772cdd27c74f5c",
|
||
"input": "This is for my mom who doesn't have reddit.\n\n​\n\nSo basically, my 17 year old daughter wanted to go to a different nearby state with her friends (and an adult) for Spring. The roster included her, 3 of her close friends, and one of the friend's mom. Also, her male cousin would be going as well in a different group. AITA for not letting her go? She has always been a bit of a brat and spoiled. I also asked the counselor of her school and she said that it would be best to not let her go. Her friends have already left so this won't make an impact on her spring break, but it will make an impact on my conscious. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0dbd455fcb794ca9a1ed44d7ee00572a",
|
||
"input": "First timer here!\n\nMy wife and I have had this nanny/daycare provider for the past year. She would occasionally come to our house to watch the kids but most of the time we dropped them off at her home.\n\nAt the time of our childcare arrangement we spoke about all the normal stuff i.e. payment, drop off, and also tax reporting as this isn't my first go around. When you've paid for childcare expenses in the past they add up quick. We just want to utilize the proper tax benefit.\n\nAbout 2 months ago she cancelled with a two week notice (better than none) and we have not used her since. \n\nWhile preparing taxes we requested the proper tax forms that she should produce upon request. Her response was that she hadn't kept track all year (we have) and that she does not feel comfortable giving us her SSN as this is how we report to the IRS if they do not have an EIN.\n\nMy wife was the one who made the request and let me know what our previous provider said. \n\nI then contacted the previous provider and let her know that my wife and I; through our taxes will report her for her lack of due diligence as well the income she made from us. (We are required to report our childcare benefit differently due to her refusal to identify)\n\nMy wife is embarrassed I'm her husband now.\n\nOn mobile so please forgive formatting or whatever else is wrong.\n\n\nAlso I have not posted much so I don't know what I'm doing.\n\n\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-42e18be9590d48f3bf91af2c320d02d4",
|
||
"input": "Background: 13 year relationship with my fiance, some points off and on, but mostly on. Live together in a house we bought, have a dog, etc. I don't like beer, but always like to taste everything for science.\n\nLead up: Go out to dinner at a pub. Reviews said service can be slow. I order water, she orders random draft beer. I get my water right away, it takes her 15+ minutes to get the beer. We are sitting next to the bar and see those drafts going out left and right, seems like just busy. Joke around, speculate why it's taking so long, having a nice time. During this wait, we are sharing my water and since she drank it last, glass was on her side of the table. Waitress puts beer in front of me as from her perspective it made sense since I didn't have a drink in front of me. \n\nIncident: She walks off, we look at each other. A few seconds go by, fiance doesn't reach for her beer, I decide to do it for her and decided that while I have the beer in my hand(all about efficiency), might as well take a small(really small) sip to taste since I would do it at some point anyways. Put the glass on her side of the table and see her giving me a \"look\". Demeanor immediately changes and I start getting the cold shoulder. A bit confused, try to pry out what's wrong, but just silence. After a few minutes she asks me do I really not realize how rude I just was. I am still not 100% sure what I was rude about, but obviously something to do with me tasting her beer.\n\nConclusion: Giving me cold shoulder for rest of the night, maybe 10 words exchanged max. Next day similar, again brings up that I was rude. I disagree. Me best guess is it's not that I had a sip as we share food all the time (see water above), but maybe it's because I had the first sip especially since it took so long to get to the table. I don't believe this exact argument has come up before in the 13 years, but she has expressed annoance if I try to eat off her plate at the same time as she has a fork in her own plate (so fine sharing as long as I am not disrupting her creating a \"perfect bite\") AITA for taking the first sip or overreaction on her part? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b7f36bc04edb42418a4946836b1a6d30",
|
||
"input": "I've been playing 2k with some people I met on Reddit for a few years now. A bunch of us decided to make a new league and recruit some new guys to fill vacant teams and play with us.\n\nSo I was in talks for a trade with one of those guys and we agreed on a deal a few days ago. Everything was set and we were ready to do the trade but our schedules never matched up to get this thing in the game.\n\nUnfortunately he then told us he lost someone close to him very recently and wouldn't be in the mood to play for a while, we should just put his team on auto pilot and he'll be back after he's had some time for himself.\n\nI then proceeded to message the people in charge of the league to see if they could do the trade we had in place before he went on a break and got chastised because I was the insensitive one.\n\n​\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1585815cf37d4e62823a4e3eea239739",
|
||
"input": "They doesn't know what they're talking about half of the time, and even if I make a valid argument in a calm way, they don't listen and they still get mad. I could be minding my own business and they would have something to say about me. If my mom gets mad at me and I say something, my sister has to be a smartass and say something bad about me even though she doesn't even know what we were talking about. They're full of drama and I could never please them- I think my parents like my sister more. They did this again today, so I got upset and shouted at them. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8e9d4df9bd3a4b1a9b5e90d233ee5875",
|
||
"input": "So my ex and I were together for 5 years and we broke up in January. We have two dogs, mine (C) and his (K). We got C in June 2017 and K in March 2018. It’s kind of always been the agreement that C was mine and K was his. He’s going on a month long trip to Europe from Mid May to mid June, and I’ve already agreed to watch over both dogs for free while he’s gone, since he’s gonna pay rent for the whole month of May, but not June. I’m planning on getting a roommate mid-May or the start of June, but I don’t know who it’ll be yet so I have no idea if I’m going to have extra pets around or anything like that. When he gets back from his trip, he’s planning on moving straight back in with his parents, who live in a small suburb about 30 minutes from where we currently live. \n\nHis parents have a dog that doesn’t get along with any other dogs so he can’t take K if he moves in with his parents. However, he only is planning to live there until August, so he will move out and get his own place before the semester starts up again. He wants me to keep both dogs by myself until then. \n\nHere’s the thing- K is an extremely anxious dog. He’d get really bad separation anxiety when we’d leave and would bark incessantly, go through trash, destroy stuff etc. He is also very emotionally attached to both myself and C. He can’t stand being locked out of rooms or separated from C in any way. C isn’t really the same way though, C is a very independent dog. I feel like if K spends from May-August with me and C, he’s going to get very used to that routine and be exponentially more anxious when it’s time for him to go live with just my ex. \n\nSo my ex is telling me that I’m ruining his living arrangements by telling him he needs to take K right when he gets back from Europe. I think he’s being irresponsible by leaving him for so long in the first place, but he’s telling me he’ll come do walks and play dates over the summer when he’s living with his parents. I just worry since they live pretty far it’s not going to be enough and it’s just going to make a stressful transition even more stressful. I love both dogs and don’t want to cause either undue stress. He said he’ll get his own apartment close by so they can still see each other though. \n\nK is also much more hyper than C. He needs significantly longer walks, needs more attention and is generally just more high maintenance. He also has very bad leash aggression so it’s really hard to walk both dogs at once by myself because of K’s outbursts at any dogs we pass on walks. So, I think it’s not fair of him to just leave me alone to deal with both of these dogs when I’m working and taking classes because it’s a burden on me as well. C is an emotional support animal for me so he is calm and easy to deal with. \n\nAm I the asshole for saying he needs to find a way to take K with him once he’s back from Europe, even if that means not moving back in with his parents?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-43a7f84c4277455da9bd056e43cb2128",
|
||
"input": "So my gf and I moved in to our new place a couple of months ago, it worked out well because I got a job in the same town as her college and the place is right beside her college. So obviously being a student she has no money most of the time so I pay about 80% of the bills. Because of this when it comes to the housework I don't really put that much effort in. I do somethings but she definitely does more. Cooking we're about 50/50. It's just washing clothes and cleaning floors that I never really do. And we alternate on washing dishes. I just feel like since she only has 20 hours a week it's kinda fair with me paying for almost everything. I just feel bad if I get home to find my dishes are done or the laundry I was going to hang is up. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1e19c10f363e42689ece00481abe799d",
|
||
"input": "TLDR; Cut contact with high school friend because I didn't like hanging out with her anymore but she has anxiety and depression and really needs to hang out with friends to be ok.\n\nThis happened a couple of years ago but she appeared in my dreams two nights in a row and I think I might be feeling guilty.\n\nI (20F) was friends with this girl (19F) all throughout high school. She was fun and I knew from that time she already struggled with anxiety to the point of not being able to do some tests out of nervousness, but it was getting worse each year.\n\nWhen school ended we both went to college we kept hanging out. We would go to clubs, bars and the beach, always by her proposal. It wasn't really my thing, I rarely had fun at those outings and I would much prefer staying home alone in my computer. I knew she couldn't stand to stay home alone because she'd get anxiety attacks so I usually accepted it just to keep her company.\n\nBut I was getting more and more annoyed by wasting my time and money in places I did not enjoyed. Going out with her was tiring. And even when we'd stay in, she always wanted to do something I was not in the mood for and I counted the seconds until she left.\n\nSo I decided to turn down every proposal to hang out with her, hoping she would eventually stop trying. That went on for months and during that time, I found out she was doing much worse with her anxiety and now depression. It was paralyzing her life and I tried to offer some comfort through texts. I knew her she wasn't well, but I can't say I actually felt bad for her, my only concern was not being too much of an asshole by saying \"I don't want to be your friend anymore\", specially now that she was struggling with her mental health. I dreaded that conversation and the awkwardness of running into her after that.\n\nI kept texting her because I didn't mind it. But now her invitations were loaded with guilt-tripping about her wanting to hurt herself if she stayed home so she really needed me to go out with her. That's when I got repulsed and wanted to cut thing off as soon as possible.\n\nI struggled with finding words not to hurt her. So a basically said I did not feel comfortable hanging out with her anymore because we had grown apart and that if she ever wanted to vent or wanted advise, she could still talk to me. As I expected, she was really hurt to hear this and, to my surprise, she said she considered me her best friend, she was also a little offended by the offer to talk to her when she was bad as it would feel like I was doing it out of pity.\n\nShe vented about it to all of our mutual friends and some of them gave me the benefit of the doubt but when they asked me to explain, they were even more astonished by my coldness. I didn't lose lose any other friend because of this, but I'm sure they lost any admiration they ever had for me.\n\nAt the time I felt I really needed to do it but now I can't justify this behavior anymore.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-383f138194824e4d9dc7e4064b8a81cb",
|
||
"input": "I made a post on r/MaliciousCompliance yesterday. It went horribly wrong (everyone who saw it down voted) so I deleted it to avoid the hate in the replies. But I was linked here in numerous replies. Am I the asshole for even THINKING about posting it?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-628f4fe72d5a4454ade7067103e90f5b",
|
||
"input": "My cousin wasted his life on drugs and booze, barely graduated HS, never went to college, never did much of anything beyond high school. His parents divorced when he was young, but neither died, and he is middle-class. I worked my ass off straight through HS, graduated in the 97th percentile, got a half-full-ride, took out some loans, now I'm working my ass off in college and I'll hopefully be graduating eventually. My and my sister's mother died when we were young, and we were raised middle-class by a single father. My cousin recently had a baby with his GF, they have zero financial resources to raise this kid, yet the family lavishes praise on him, and I can't remember the last time my family even half-thanked me for what I've done. If anything, they point out my flaws wherever they see them. They've accused me of being gay (I'm not, but they'd see that as a problem), of being a disappointment to my father, of being lazy of all things, etc. Look, I'm not angry at the baby, of course. It just sucks when I spend my nights bent over a computer screen working, foregoing parties, alcohol, whatever else, getting about 5 hours sleep per night, holding down grades, current job, clubs, the job search, student debt, etc. only to see it apparently go unappreciated while he's showered with praise. I feel like I'm the bad guy in that Bible story, the prodigal son. So, Reddit, AITA for being jealous of my cousin?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dd25af23463b4cbe90894c552af040ae",
|
||
"input": "Throaway because of reasons and change some details because of reasons.\nSo, we are all volunteers in a pretty known association, me, friend A, friend B, and Person, all doing different jobs. \nRecently we have been accused of something related to Person work. \nWe have all defended them, because they told us they didn't do it, but abruptly we discovered that they did not do the things we are accused of but another one, more serious.\nThey didn't admit it, instead they have been offended and they have been passive aggressive towards all of us, let alone excused themselves.\nTalking with friends A and B, me and Awere very very angry about all the story and commented it but we didn't say anything more than Person is arrogant and they have lied.\nNow, friend B is mad at me because they say that I am violent, I don't understand what a dreadful day Person is going through, and I don't want to look at the overall picture, and they don't think Person has lied, but only forgot to tell us how things gone. He told me that I'm cruel and unforgiven, while all we know that what person did is a very common practice in his job.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d0485239cd0c4a93828d5ed9d421afe8",
|
||
"input": "Last night we got into a fight about chores, same old shit but waking up this morning we were okay.\n\nThis morning, I woke up with a pain in my ring finger joint on my right (dominant) hand. I sometimes do get joint pain in this hand but not the fingers, so I tell my boyfriend who was getting ready for work. He stops what he's doing and takes my hand and motions like he's going to pull my joint (while saying \"Okay now I'm going to pull your finger and...\") so I yank my hand away because this is something he knows I don't like, and something I think might hurt my hand as he isn't a doctor.\n\nHe got really pissed and took this personally. Angry for the rest of the morning and left without saying goodbye and I love you etc. He said he was angry because I \"cut him off and didn't let him finish speaking\" by yanking my hand away and \"not trusting him\". I told him it wasn't personal and that I wouldn't trust anyone but a doctor with my hand- he didn't care and remained pissed off.\n\nI don't really understand why he's upset or if what I did was wrong. I don't think other people are supposed to control what happens to my body, and I think it's okay to say no and pull when I don't want something done to me. \n\nAm I lacking perspective? AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9b6198b19c8041dbb16feb4529a37921",
|
||
"input": "Hi, bit of context.\n\nNext weekend, a few of my friends are coming down from a country town about 5 hours from me. I'm pretty close with both of them, and we all came up with the idea that I'd catch a train up (no room in their car, they're driving), and hang out up there with them for a few days.\n\nInitially, we did have a few minor issues with accommodation and transport, but I have booked everything in now, and I am excited to go up, hang out with them and enjoy my first week of holidays. However, my parents don't want me to go, because 'your friends are coming down, whats the point of you going up?' I haven't seen one of them for an entire year and only saw the other one about 15 weeks ago (we keep in touch over Snapchat/text) but I don't want to have to see them go, and want to hang out with them. They are pretty enthusiastic about me coming up as well, but my parents are mad, and I want to know, AITA for going against their wishes and going up to visit my friends?\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e34a9daf88ae41228a4d967a021b909d",
|
||
"input": "I’m almost 28 and after some surgery I got addicted to prescription painkillers like oxy and Percocet. \n\nI eventually graduated to heroin and got clean when I was 26 but relapsed after only a couple months. At the time I was more or less homeless but me and this other guy “Jack” squatted together in this abandoned building for a little while. We looked out for each other and we always had Naloxone on us in case we needed it because the local needle exchange would give it out to known users in the city. \n\nI ended up overdosing after my relapse because I over estimated how much I could actually handle at that point and luckily Jack came back at the right moment and saved my life. \n\nAfter this, I have been fully clean for a little bit over a year now. I haven’t seen or heard from Jack for a really long time, I’ve moved into my own decent apartment, I have a decent job and I have always just assumed that he was dead by now. \n\nWell we live in a medium to smaller sized city so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that I would run into people I knew eventually. \n\nI was out going to my bank, which is in a sketchier part of the city, and I hear somebody call out my name. I turn around and it’s Jack. \n\nI can immediately tell that he’s super strung out and he goes, “Wow look at you. Guess you finally managed to get better.” \n\nI’m feeling nervous as fuck because I don’t trust strung out junkies because I was that strung out junkie not too long ago. \n\nHe tells me that he has been trying to get sober for the past year but nothing has been working out. Then, as I expected, he asks me for help. He asks me if he can crash at my place or if I can help him out with some money to go to a rehab since he says that I now look like, “I can spare it.” \n\nI had nor do I have any desire to let an actively using heroin addict stay at my apartment. And I don’t want to give him money because I know for a fact that shit will not go to a rehab. \n\nI tell him that I don’t think I can do that for him but I wish him luck.\n\nHe says I’m a “fucking asshole” and that I’d be dead if it “wasn’t for him”. To be fair, he is right. I would’ve died without him. He then just spits at my feet and walks off. I left feeling pretty shook up. \n\nI thought at the time that I was making the right decision but I don’t know anymore. He did save my life and I could very well be in his position or dead instead of where I am right now. But I also don’t think I am ready to be around people like that at this point in my recovery. I’ve lost all of my family, who want nothing to do with me and my only friend left helped me get clean and I don’t want to drag him back into this world so I don’t have a lot of people to talk to about this besides my sponsor. \n\nAITA for refusing to help Jack? He saved my life but I don’t know what I can really do for him. \n \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-76b1fe73dc3e462f967b8dea9bea4152",
|
||
"input": "[this post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverybadass/comments/abzq3a/guess_im_a_scared_loser_repost_due_to_a_goof_i_did/?st=JQG4S1I1&sh=e7dfa195) reached the front page so most of you have seen it. But I use the fact that you don’t have a counterpoint/ reasoning against my point as another reason to agree with me or do the thing in question. \n\nIt’s not in a bully like way, like I just roasted him and he can’t think of something to say; it’s like where we should go to eat ex: “do you all want to eat a Burger King?” Nobody talks “I’ll take that as a yes”\n\n\nTL:DR: i use people not having a counterpoint as another topic/point, but not in roasting. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9ed4e686ffa54c1597d6cf56afc033ed",
|
||
"input": "Within my group of friends, there is one girl who's name is Blue and two other gentlemen by the name of Gray and Green. We all live scattered around the U.S. and Britain, so online communication is primarily online. Green and Blue used to be in some form of long distance relationship, but are not any longer and largely just friends as far as I'm aware. Gray and Blue are apparently close now, to the point where Gray goes off unhinged whenever Blue is upset in any way.\n\nOver the course of the summer, my friendship had been deteriorating with Blue and Gray slowly. Some of the things were how I was apparently sexist for questioning Blue, how I was apparently obsessed with her for naming something after her, and apparently not knowing she was upset. It escalated into arguments where they would both team up against me, because they don't want to even consider my words. No one ever went out of the way to tell me something was wrong, and instead waited until the next day to tell me. I felt ashamed and disrespected because of it. They then slowly started implementing new things to not get me to act up, which only infuriated me more and more until it somehow got decided that not telling me anything at all about problems was for the best. It got to the point where college started back up for me and I couldn't hang out on a frequent basis anymore.\n\nWhat happened a few days ago is that something happened between all three of them. I don't know if Green exploded onto Blue about still having feelings, if Blue realized she had feelings for Green still, or if Gray decided to rage about. I don't know because no one will tell me anything. All I know is that Blue's upset, because she's offline and because Gray is raging. She has refused to respond to any of my messages for the last couple of days, checking in to see if she's okay. Gray is obsessed with saying that it doesn't concern me, that I'm only doing it because 'I desire her'. I do have a crush on her, but she's a good friend of mine that's in trouble and if somethings happening I want to know what it is and calm this paranoia running through my head. Do they feel so indifferent about me that they'll leave me in the dark and let my worries eat me inside? She doesn't even talk much to me anymore, mostly just to Gray or Green. I hate not knowing what is going on, why everyone suddenly gets upset, goes offline, refuses to talk to me or anything at all. I'm wondering what I should even do anymore.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a8e72c6241044ff48f26ba1d50e349b8",
|
||
"input": "This is definitely a much smaller AITA than some on here, but its driving me bonkers. Context: I've lived with my boyfriend for over a year. He owns the house and pays the mortgage on it, but all other bills are split evenly... Except for groceries. Originally the plan was to take turns, which worked for a while. \n\nHowever, its deteriorated to taking quick grocery runs just to grab what we need, and since I'm the one who cooks most often (I eat keto so its easier for me to make the food) I'll typically be the one who gets groceries for dinner that night. Also among my purchases are modified versions of favorite snacks that fit my dietary needs (like Atkins bars instead of regular granola bars, or Halo Top instead of regular ice cream), which are generally more expensive than normal items.\n\nMy problem is that my boyfriend eats all my special foods instead of the plethora of things in the house that aren't keto (example, he has his own ice cream but will chow through a pint of Halo Top). I asked him to stop and his response is that he thought \"we shared things equally.\" I wouldn't mind as much if he occasionally bought these things, but he doesn't. \n\nRecently I bought some keto approved snack cakes online and he immediately wanted some. I told him I only bought coconut flavor (he hates coconut). I actually got a variety pack. He caught me eating a lemon one and blew up about it because I lied to him, and we could have shared but I was being selfish, and that I was being a jerk about my food. I just dont wanna spend a bunch of money on pricey keto foods and have him eat them when he could eat regular food. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5e7e81c36c63451e9d61eae0220c9a10",
|
||
"input": "Disclaimer: sorry if there are any typos/this is rambling....I’m *really* tired. \n\nI had to post here before I go to sleep because this is really bothering me. \n\nMy bf had to be at the airport at 5:15 AM to catch a flight to see his family. He’ll be gone for 4 days. \n\nWhen he originally asked if I could drive him, I told him it depended on my work schedule. He decided on the dates for his flight last minute, and my work schedule was already set. \n\nAt a friend’s house yesterday he was talking about his trip and me driving him. At this time, I told him that he’s probably going to have to drive himself because I work that day. (I have to be at work at 6:30 AM.) He started acting really dramatic and disappointed at which point I told him I would pay for his parking if it was that big of a deal ($8/day x 4 days)—something I can’t really afford right now, but he can. That still wasn’t good enough for him. He continued to act pouty and it made it a bit awkward for the people we were with. I agreed to drive him because I just wanted to get out of the situation and he was making me feel guilty. \n\nLater that night, he asked if I was sure I could drive him. I again told him that it was incredibly early and I’d be losing an hour of sleep—which is a lot, IMO when you already wake up at 5:30 AM. I didn’t want t drive him, but I sensed that he was still bitter and this was going to be a “thing” for him. I told him “let’s see what I feel like in the morning”, meaning that if I was too exhausted he would drive himself or take an Uber. He agreed to this. \n\nMind you he also knew that I hadn’t slept well the past 2 days either due to work and a little get-together on NYE. \n\nI woke up with him this morning at 4:30. I asked if he could call an Uber or drive himself because I tossed and turned last night and slept a total of 3.5 hours. He immediately started getting upset saying it was too late (he had 20 minutes until he had to leave—plenty of time to call an Uber). \n\nI gave up. He’d surely argue with me the entire time until he left and I’d be awake anyway, so I drove him. \n\nNow...to put my work schedule into perspective: I work 13 hour shifts. I’m on my feet all day long with little time to sit and also do some manual labor as part of my job. I get one 30 minute break at work. I’m a nurse, so I have to be clear-minded and able to think critically throughout the day. I am scheduled to work 3 days in a row like this...the first being the day he needed to be drive to the airport.\n\nI just got off the phone with him and he’s insisting that part of being in a relationship means that you sacrifice and do things like this for each other and I’m being unreasonable and selfish. \n\nI think *he* was being childish and selfish. I’m still mad about how he seemed to have manipulated me into driving him. \n\nAm I an asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2076406f171a481aa2e3cad39aaae075",
|
||
"input": "We live in a small house it ain't the worst thing in the world but it's still not too great. For months I've been telling my mom to clean her cloth mess couches, sofas and chairs are covered in pants, shirts, jackets. Sometimes I say fuck it and clean them myself but it takes one maximum two days for her to ruin everything again. I have anxiety and some other illnesses and the state of our house is unbearable for me it's choking me I can't stand staying in that house. Since the clothes are dirty they also stink the whole house. That's why I come home at 7-8 even though my school finishes at 3 . I told her thousand times clean your tucking mess but she never listened today I vented at her for her mess. I feel kinda bad but she needs to understand that her behavior is unacceptable. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-beade27f8cff457c831ee9ba84f3c092",
|
||
"input": "(Trigger Warning: Self harm, abuse, suicide, that kind of thing)\n\nFor context, me and my friends are fairly young, all around 15. We all have bad or incredibly strict parents, so we’re all dealing with our own issues in some way, and we have no real way to get help.\n\nOne friend, who we’ll say is called Luke, is the worst. They have massive self-worth issues, self-harms, drinks beer all the time, falls in and out of toxic relationships, and is, quite honestly, selfish. They never listen, and they never want to.\n\nI’ve yelled at Luke over text multiple times about what they do. When they wanted to get back with their ex, I basically said “Fine, go be destructive, I don’t care anymore, but don’t come crying to us when it doesn’t work out.” I’ve constantly told them that I don’t care because I’m just so emotionally exhausted from dealing with them. I mean, why should I bother or care?\n\nThe scary thing is that Luke’s been constantly saying that they’re going to commit suicide this year. And I mean CONSTANTLY. Every few days it’s been brought up, and in a kind of way that’s like “ha ha I only have a few months to live anyway lol”\n\nWe’re all worried about them, but it just feels...manipulative, at this point. Like it’s just another way for them to get attention. (They glorify their alcoholism and show when they sniff GLUE, for God’s sake.) \n\nThere’s about eight of us altogether, and we see each other at school everyday, so cutting Luke off is probably not going to be as easy as I want it to be. But I’m just so fucking tired of dealing with them. I’m already working through my own stuff. I have awful self-esteem, I’m dealing with getting over my toxic dad, and I likely have ADHD. If they’re not even going to THINK about getting help, I don’t see why I should bother.\n\nI don’t want to deal with Luke anymore but there’s also my other friends, and I keep feeling like that would just be abandoning them because of my own emotional issues.\n\nSo, do you think WIBTA if I cut Luke off?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a5ab9f8f7a94483db6725ff28134fee0",
|
||
"input": "My (26F) best friend (25F) recently got a new significant other and it has been really difficult to see them anymore. I am delighted that she finally has someone who cares about her deeply, and wants to shower her with the attention she deserves. But lately she has been ignoring my texts and phone calls, and when I ask if she wants to hang out weeks ahead of time, she will already have something planned out. Last night I asked if she was available to do something together after my conference was done in three weeks, and she said that she was not available. We are soon to be moving in together, and I don’t want to feel resentful of her. AITA for not wanting to try to schedule things anymore?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-90359980425248b089df5a87e1e51e0b",
|
||
"input": "My dad started dating a new lady after my mom and dad split and I'm with each of them half the time. My dad moved in with this person like literally only a year after they officially got divorced which I think is like way too soon. She's been nice to me, like overly nice to where I think shes probably faking it, and I try to be nice back for my dad but it's hard. Well I went into their bedroom to get something and there was lube on the nightstand. Just out in the open! Lube! Like they are not hiding anything! And when going through laundry I've found some of her \"undergarments\" that literally look like something a stripper would wear. On the outside she puts on this like perfect persona of being on of those \"I can have it all\" type of people and my dad tries to talk up her to me but I don't see it. Am I the asshole for thinking their relationship is gross? Ive never thought of my parents even having sex, now my dad screwing is being shoved in my face!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0d119612945f4d03bdf78a97ad0c5425",
|
||
"input": "So my coworker showed up at 6 AM to work, and me 8 AM. She left at 3 PM, me 2 PM. She requested to switch leave times- me stay til 3, her leave at 2. I declined, and she got angry at everyone for letting people leave before her even though she showed up really early. I declined because I wanted to relax and spend time with my family.\n\nSo I guess what I’m asking is, AITA for saying no? She’s been a close friend, so I feel kinda guilty. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-37e5e58bea46413d8da8e65d008d9909",
|
||
"input": "I (16M) was dating a girl (16F) for a long while (about a year and a half) when she started to get into BTS, and it took over her life. She only talked about BTS anymore, she only posted and followed people on twitter that also liked BTS, it was all she would listen to, she spent all of her money on their merch, and stopped talking to all of her friends that weren't into BTS aside from me. At first I supported her new interest, but after a while it got overbearing to the point that I couldn't handle it anymore.\n\nShe would try to force me to get into BTS all the time, claiming that \"anyone who comes in contact with these boys falls in love\". Whenever she would, I would try to tell her about the toxicity of the k-pop industry and fandom, but she wouldn't listen, claiming that the artists were just dedicated and some fans just loved them a little bit too much. (For context, one of the artists broke a leg and still went on to concert, and she claimed it was dedication and he wasn't forced to do it. She also claimed that the fans that tracked the band to an airport and threw themselves on them was \"a bit much, but it wasn't that bad\")\n\nAfter I while I just got fed up with it, and broke up with her. She wasn't the person I fell in love with, she had completely changed. Rather than the deep discussions about life and the universe and politics, she just wanted to talk about whatever Yoongi or Jaehyun did that day.\n\nShe thinks I'm the one in the wrong because I'm not supporting her, but that's not it at all, I don't think. I broke up with her not because she has an interest I don't have, but because she's a wholly different person and was the kind of person that would be incredibly angry if one of the members so much as took a concert off because he was sick, and I didn't need that in my life. Am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-182d2cf7efed4b66a96c15585946da12",
|
||
"input": "Since I was 12 or so I have helped out in my parents' business. Due to the fact that this particular type of business does not make as much money any more I help out a lot more than I used to. \nI am now 25 and have my first proper job having finished college. I often work about 20 hours a week for them for no pay although I do live at home. I would much prefer to pay rent and be worse off financially but I don't think they would accept this at all. \nMy dad has another really high pressure job which takes up literally 100% of his time which means he thinks the rest of us should chip in and do whatever he asks and whenever he wants. This has caused me to feel huge resentment towards him. We are not so much a family as work colleagues who can shout at each other anytime anywhere.\n I'm sitting here on a Saturday at the empty business. I don't have the autonomy to decide what I want to do with my day off and tomorrow will be the same. I can't pursue hobbies in the evenings and I feel like my time is being robbed. \nAlso this commitment has meant that I commute over an hour to work so that I can come home most days and help out. \nI'm at my wits end. I plan to move out next year but worry what my siblings and family will think and whether they will even talk to me. I am thinking of going to therapy to figure out solutions to the situation. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f68f40f1d0c841ae8657dec2d5fc8910",
|
||
"input": "AITA? Im a student (18), and sometimes when i go back home to visit, i'll babysit my dad and stepmums kids ( 9-10 ). Last time i did I got £20 for like 4 hours work which is fine. Ive been babysitting tonight for 10 hours, made dinner and put them to bed, the lot. They are late back by an hour and a half now. minimum wage for my age bracket is £6.15. for 10 hours work id feel like £60 is good, or something around that price, though in the back of my head i feel greedy because they are family. And I would genuinely be a bit annoyed if I got £20 again, its not like they are poor either.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-aca8e9f673924527b347a96ae3868d5e",
|
||
"input": "My friend and I both are 21 F and have been friends since we were in kindergarten. Recently everything went down hill. I will call her B. \n\nA little thing about B whenever she is with a guy, she changes. Her personality changes, she talks to me less and all. I can understand that to an extent but it is weird when we were actually like sisters. I think the serious issue started when I was hospitalized for one week, needed to take heavy medicine. I didn’t expect anyone to come visit me. Whenever a friend worried about me and called me I just said ‘I have nothing to worry’ and ‘please don’t come’. It wasn’t as serious as a normal staying at hospital situation so I thought it wasn’t worthy to make them worry. But B said, she heard about me and she will come visit me. I realized I really needed a friend with me. I was lonely, bored and in pain also I hadn’t seen B for a long time, I had missed her. I was really happy she would come visit me but that day she didn’t respond to my messages until end of the day. She just said she had a laser appointment and couldn’t come. It felt pretty sad. (The worse thing is treatment lasts for 1 hour and her mother is the one working there, taking appointments so it was changable). I didn’t talk to her after I came home. \n\nThen she messaged me after 2 weeks. She said ‘she is sorry’’we are going to go out together always’ ‘she is going to buy me gifts and do whatever to make me feel better’\n\nI was happy again so I accepted her apology. We hung out for once and it was just once a week texting with no soul. My birthday came up and she asked me if I want to do something with her. I had an event in my mind so we made a plan for that. So the event was 9am - 6pm and we could have gone anytime. When it was my birthday, she texted me at 6pm if I wanted to do something. I just said no and after one week only thing she wrote was about if I still have my cat’s cage with me or not. \n\nI don’t think I did anything to deserve this from the person I called best friend for a long time and I want to learn if I am asshole if I dont speak with her anymore. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cab7c1101098442c803dfa6b6be3c0fe",
|
||
"input": "... And also getting mad at him when he said he wouldn’t? \n\nSo I’ve been in a LDR with this guy for 2 years, living on opposite sides of the world. I left a lot of my things over at his place from my last visit about half a year ago. I have maybe $400+ dollars worth of clothing and accessories there and also a $100 wacom tablet. I have quite a passion for this style of fancy Japanese fashion called himekaji. A lot of clothing articles are rare and sought after and there’s quite the buy/swap/sell culture surrounding it. I left a few of my favourite dresses and skirts at his place. \n\nSo I broke up with him a month ago. In short, things didn’t work out between us for 2 main reasons:\n\nI just didn’t love him like I used to these last few months\n\nThere was someone else I started to have feelings for (There wasn’t any cheating involved, unless you count this as emotional cheating. I reciprocated feelings for him when he expressed his own and then broke up with my bf a few days after not speaking with this guy.)\n\nAfter the breakup, I made no mention of my things I left at his place. I was really undecided on when I should ask him to send my things back to me or whether I should even ask at all. I think I was just hoping he’d do it for me anyway. Finally, he sent me a message saying he “considered burning them but then decided to donate them because someone else would appreciate those clothes far more than I ever did”. That was the final straw and I got mad at him, telling him that it wasn’t his call to make I think he made that remark because he always got irritated at how much I fussed over my fancy clothes (not getting stained or creased etc). \n\nIf it makes any difference, I would have offered to send him money compensating for the delivery cost and trouble. \n\nIs it fair for him to feel this way? I did break his heart after all and I know he would be understandably sad and angry at me and I should let him. But should he put that aside for this simple gesture of returning the things that are mine? Or should I just accept the consequences of dealing with a breakup? I have absolutely no idea at this point. I just need an outside perspective. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-646bc5cc77e94ec6b4ac898e46b12d85",
|
||
"input": "Ok, So I know the title is confusing but this is gonna require a lot of explanation, so I'll put the TL;DR at the bottom.\n\n​\n\nSo basically there's this girl who I'm friends with (we'll call her TJ). She's a pretty odd character, and we're decent friends. There's rumors of her having a mental disability but as far as I know, she isn't officially diagnosed, and just acts strange for the thrill of it or whatever. \n\n​\n\nSo one day she invites me to a live stream on Instagram. I join and pretty soon, challenge her to the titular 20 dollar Smash Bros. Ultimate money match. At first, she's completely against it, calling me evil and stuff, but then she slowly warms up to the idea and pretty soon she wants to take the game.\n\n​\n\nSo you might be wondering why this is on AITA, but she has told me she's never played the game and she might have a disability, but she's now vouching for the game. On the one hand, I don't wanna extort money from someone I know will be an easy stomp, but on the other I don't wanna turn her down, given she's been talking smack (that she'll beat me, your average pre-game trash) and a part of me wants to prove her wrong. WIBTA for taking the match?\n\nTL;DR: WIBTA for taking a 20 dollar smash bros money match against someone I know won't win?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3f1e8b1f224649a1a530ab9026a51716",
|
||
"input": "They had pictures taken sometime in early December. Solo pictures as well as pictures with their class. Now the school is sending flyers out that next week is \"spring class pictures!\" oh brother....They didn't do this last year. Last year it was just a one time thing. These pictures arent cheap either. You can not just purpose a few. They come in packages and the cheapest package is $40. So in December in total i spent roughly $80 for pictures of my children. And my children are at an age where they HATE smiling while taking pics. So i spent $80 on them seriously staring at a camera...I still love them though. I told someone i don't plan on wasting another $80 for more pictures and they looked at me like i have a problem. Then pointed out how my kids will probably see sitting to the side while watching other kids take pictures and feel left out, or like i dont love them enough to pay for more pics of them. Am i an asshole for not wanting to pay for MORE pictures???",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-de82ef5d8de8422eba0bf0d219465fa2",
|
||
"input": "Stocking a shelf at work. The shelf has slots for each item and a retracting panel behind the items to automatically push them forward. They require minimal effort to push back and put an item in, but some customers refuse to do the absolute bare minimum and if the item doesn't magically push in with so little force you couldn't even knock over an empty tin can, they give up entirely.\n\n \nA woman takes an item, taps it against the shelf with no effort, and puts it down on the shelf below, where it does not belong. I take it and put it back on the shelf. \n\n\nI step away to stock something else, and I come back. She has another variety of the same item, taps it against the shelf with no effort again, and sets it down on the shelf. \n\n\nNormally this shit really aggravates me because it's unacceptable laziness on the shopper's part and I consider it incredibly rude to just throw things wherever you like. Especially if I'm standing right there, trying to make the shelf look nice. Just ask if you need help, or put in the effort to put it back. \n\n\nBut I'm trying lately to be more verbal with customers, I don't usually try to talk to them. A coworker \"messes with\" customers and they usually really go for it. These people seemed nice, so when I put the second one back, I said \"oh, you missed twice! :P\", ribbing the woman for not putting the item on the shelf, twice, and me catching her and correcting her, twice. I say this as I'm taking things to the back.\n\nShe responds \"Yep! \\*\\*Twice!\\*\\*\" in a very fierce way, and I was not looking at her but I imagine she said it with an angry stepford smile and wide eyes. Her husband immediately states behind me \"If you don't like your job, work a different one, asshole!\" which I go wide-eyed at but completely ignore and go hide in the back.\n\n \nI think I mistook what was really \"I have no respect for other people and don't clean up after myself\" for \"oh gosh I can't get it back on the shelf, silly me\" (even though she clearly wasn't trying), and that's why they got so upset. They were being defensive. \n\n\nIt's kind of eating at me, though. :( Is it really me who is the asshole to call someone out- even jokingly- on making the store a messier place? I mean, who does that? Just leaves things wherever they want? Do good people do that? I think it's a fair assumption that people who do that so flippantly- as to do it \\*twice\\*, in front of an employee, after already being caught doing it- are not good people, but I figured ribbing them for it might make them laugh and reconsider their behavior. Guess not...",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e7b91c5715d84d01bfd3865c97b847f8",
|
||
"input": "AITA??? Ok so I just started working at this place and barely know the people, it was about 9pm when one of my co workers (female) says she lost her phone, she put it down and went to the bathroom and came back and it was gone. As I heard this I was already talking to two other co workers who were both male and I told them that I had the phone? But while I said this I was smiling as in I was joking. I even started laughing then told them I was just fucking with them. Turns out one of the dudes told her and then she told everyone else and they all started questioning me. She works on the side of the restaurant and I work at the front, I was their like the whole day because I was training as I said this was my second day. They ended up searching me and finding nothing and then I apologized to girl for making the joke and I told her it was inappropriate. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-661491f033ee49f0b414b9192f706e64",
|
||
"input": "Obligatory: I am on mobile, and I'm sorry for the awful formatting, though I will try my best.\n\nI am half white, and half mexican. I am also very close with my mexican relatives, but I have one gripe with my older cousins.\n\nRecently, one of my cousins ordered a 23andMe kit, and she was going on and on about how \"she's probably going to end up being 90 percent Scandinavian and Swedish somehow.\" \n\nAnd how she speaks of our family in Mexico is truly shocking. She quite frequently visits, and tells me how they're shocked by her whiteness (I have never seen someone look more mexican than her), and how American she is. She also proceeds to tell me she just has something different about her, and how she totally sticks out there. \n\nHer older sister gives herself blonde streaks, and puts in green contact lenses.\n\nI just want to shake them, and scream at them that they are not white, and to just accept what they are! \n\nTL:DR: My full blooded mexican cousins do not accept that they are Mexican, and act as if they are not. I want to tell them that they are, and to just accept it. WIBTA for telling them so?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a1321f00140f498aa6e5470625de4b27",
|
||
"input": "So I have a very unconventional employment situation. I am the partner of a live-in nanny. We both moved across the country with the family she Nannys for. They asked her to move with them without me and she refused because that would have been the end of our relationship and would have screwed me over on the lease we had just signed.\n\n The initial agreement was that we would live with then for two months then move out. But we have lived with them for 4 months now. They never discussed increasing my partners wage due to higher cost of living and refuse to. They also have hired me on at a higher hourly rate to help with maintenance around the house and filling in to watch the kids. \n\nEven though they pay me more than my partner, I only ever work ~4 hours a week (they make sure.) Well today is payday and I asked to be paid about 12 hours earlier than usual because I have a bill due before my normal pay time and wanted to make sure the money would be in my account. They are refusing to pay me until tomorrow night when I help them host a party (not something I ever agreed to do or even discussed with them) which will mean my bill is paid late and will probably incur penalties. \n\nMy partner isn't in a position to help because she gets paid half of what I do and uses most of that money to feed us. \n\nSo even though I live in my employers house for free, am I the asshole for wanting to get paid early on my own terms?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-10347e270ad9497e8e55636a6f8f66dc",
|
||
"input": "I have a friend from college that I haven't seen in person in a while, but always thought there was an understanding we're still friends despite not spending time together. I actually introduced her to her now husband and encouraged them to get together. I understand that people are allowed to invite and not invite whoever they want to their own wedding, but this exclusion kind of hurt. Would I be the asshole if I confronted her about this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8244b90d0aec499c9fcd5469d4de684d",
|
||
"input": "This is real life. I shit you not. I pay 2 dollars a drink ALWAYS, MINIMUM. \n\n​\n\nI lost some change in my jacket pocket, and partially paid a tip in one dollar and 4 quarters. Several friends of mine that I know that frequent the bar told me it was super offensive to tip in change, and that leaving one dollar would be better than leaving two dollars if part of it was quarters; The thing that have the same exact value as a dollar.\n\n​\n\nIs this a dick move? To give somebody money? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-032ef41df6e64f55aca70a1e3b63b5c1",
|
||
"input": "AITA for calling the cops? Ill call her O. O had an ex that ill call X. O and X were on/off for yrs. One night X was arrested for dom assualt. So now a no-contact order. \n\nX continued to harass O for weeks by text after that. All the while claiming he didn't blame O for getting him arrested. But sumtimes would yell over the phone and threaten her.\n\nBeing her friends, we tried to be there for O. But as her friends, we also tried to respect her feelings. We knew that SHE knew she was in an abusive relationship but it was up to her to end it for good.\n\nAfter awhile, X started physically showing up to where she was at to \"just talk\". O almost always gave in. O would tell us how the \"talks\" were just him begging. O would always make sure to emphasize that she didn't fear X.\n\nOne night, we were having a bonfire and drinks when X pulled in. O jumped in his car for a \"talk\" in the driveway. As X pulled off and drove away O came back crying.\n\nX was acting crazy again and made threats. O downplayed it with her usual excuses for X. At this point, we already knew we were shitty friends for allowing this to go on in the first place. \n\nAbout an hour, the party had mostly broken up and it was just O, me and 2 others. X pulled up and O got in as usual. Then, O gets out of the car angrily yelling at X.\n\nAs it intensified, me and the two other 2 all agreed we should call 911.\n\nI have never called 911 before so we were shocked when two cops came running up out of nowhere and handcuffed both of them. \n\nBy this point, other friends came outside. O was still in handcuffs so I told the cops I called bc of X but they were both in violation and both arrested. O hurled insults at me as they took her away.\n\nO suffered some serious consequences. The cops found some illegal pill or something so charged her for drugs too. O lost a really good job. And had kids at home to support. \n\nI saw O the next day and she said sorry and i did the right thing but i never saw her again.\n\nI reached out a few weeks ago with a new phone number. When she asked who I was I told her and didn't get a response. I sent a few texts in the following weeks letting her know I miss her. A few nights ago, she finally responded.\n\nShe made small talk for awhile asking what I was doing and saying she was home alone and had been drinking. O then asked me to send a pic. I'm a guy so I responded with \"of what?\"\n\nMe being a homebody, O has seen me look my worst before, so I took a quick selfie and sent it with a sarcastic caption about how sexy I am.\n\nHer response: \nO: Uhh... wtf. I thought u were someone else. \nO: Ur an ass!\nO: U called the cops on me. \nO: Fuck off\nMe: Ok but why?\nO: U were a great friend..b4 u called the cops!\nO: Goodbye \nMe: I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do.\nShe has never responded. \n\nAnyone can claim that I was NTA due to an NC order and abuse in the first place. But it isn't so cut and dry. O didn't want an NC but by law it was auto. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2dfed548b980408795c130f1f74c6d84",
|
||
"input": "I've had 3 hornets in my apartment over the last 4 days and I'm starting to get a little concerned. I emailed The landlord and he said that he's 'supply me with a fly swatter and raid' and that he'd calk the windows. \n\n​\n\nIMO I don't want to be on hornet look out all month with a can of raid. I'd rather him look for a hornet's nest and deal with that. Would I be the asshole if I demanded he look for and remove a possible nest?\n\n​\n\nSo, AITA for demanding he actually deal with this problem?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-54bfc29a9cf44a5487e01478c5d45f17",
|
||
"input": "So I live with my family, we get along great, I help with works around the house daily, and i help with our bigger cleaning that we do every weekend.\n\ni’m 17, I have a job and also go to art school so I have a lot of homeworks and very little free time. I have a boyfriend and a group of friends.\n\nI usually spend my fridays at the bf and then go home.\n\nMy mom seems to have a problem with this, she always says how I’m a bad daughter because I’d rather be with my friends/bf than with her.\n\nWhen I stay home and say that we should go somewhere we always end up only cleaning the house anyways - and then her crying because I can’t choose a place where i want to go with her. \n\nthe thing is i don’t really want to go somewhere with her when i can be with people that i have more fun with. \n\nfor example today, when i wanted to stay one more night with my bf, because my sunday shift was cancelled, she texted me that no, i need to go home and we’ll go somewhere as family. \nSo i got home, she told me to do the dishes and now I’m sitting at my computer for an hour, and when i ask her if we’re going anywhere she just say that “why should we go when u don’t wanna go anyways” \n\nit just makes me mad and i feel like i’m wasting my time when i could have been elsewhere. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f33a2f26440c4b03a1ae5521c670ecd6",
|
||
"input": "My mother in law drives, she drives to work, to the store, but never wants to drive to our house, she wants him to be brought to her. It's a 15-20 minute drive. Now my mother is trying to guilt trip me into driving him over there, and apparently I'm in the wrong. Am I the asshole for not wanting to deliver my kid to her? Sorry, on mobile.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a9a7d59d77ac4591894fa8cd257a33c7",
|
||
"input": "So I’m going to try and keep this short, TLDR at bottom, but I’m an LGBT person and Wiccan. I left the Christian faith after being kicked out of a church (and eventually getting my family kicked out) for being transgender. I am not open about this detail in my public life, but I am open that I do have a boyfriend, but my next most private thing is my religious belief.\n\nRecently at my convenience store work in a conservative Christian part of town, I’ve had a lot of people come up to me and try to ask me if I’ve heard the word of God. I tell them yes in some cases, but I left it for a personal reason, and then I get barraged with “Once you’re saved, you are always saved!” until I mention to them in the Bible that it actually says the one Unforgiveable sin is denying the Christian god and Jesus, and suddenly they tell me their life story and how much God has done for them, derailing the topic.\n\nThere are some instances where I just have to say “yeah I’m a Christian” so I don’t get lectured at work, or wherever I go in town. It’s pretty frequent I get asked this as the hours I work coincide with the services of 3 churches within a half mile of where I work. I’ve finally been able to tell certain people that on the clock, I have no religious or political opinion, but now when I come to my work casually, or in the area, it’s a lot harder to escape the question with regulars from my work who know that I am not a Christian.\n\nWould I be the asshole if I start telling people I’m not interested in their beliefs and told them kindly to mind their own business? I know a part of me is hugely afraid of rejection and what other people think of me, especially since I’ve already faced a mass community rejection once. I don’t want people in my life to know my business but I feel like an asshole for lying. I just wish I could have my belief without people trying to just change me. I don’t try to convert people and I love everyone for who they are and their walks, I just wish the same hand would be given to me.\n\nTLDR; I want people to stop trying to convert me to being a Christian after I faced mass rejection, but I feel like I would be an asshole if I told them to stop and that I’m not interested in their religion. \n\nAITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-bf2a04efadaf4874bccabfebc0dbc94b",
|
||
"input": "I work part time for a large, orange, home improvement retailer. I get dental and flexible hours so the work isn't too bad; Other than the fact that \"Success sharing\" has been brought up like a hundred times in my last dozen shifts. \n\nHaving some business sense I know that Our SS payments will be under $15 a month and are pretty much irrelevant. \n\nFor the last month, when a associate has brought up \"Success Sharing\" I told them that I would much prefer a $1 dollar an hour raise and explained how much more money a year that would be. \n\nMany employees have either refused to accept basic math or got depressed about their previous views.\n\nAITA for destroying these employees positive views about the company with math. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5e67cdf69020485ea10b96af0e7ad7e1",
|
||
"input": "I’ve (25m) been with my gf(22f) for 3 months official, seeing each other for 7 mos before then. \n\nWhen we got together, i told her one of my boundaries is i dont date girls still friends with their exes or are still in contact with anyone with whom they have sexual history. She assured me she feels the same; however she said she is still in contact with her ex she lost her virginity to. She said they hooked up for a month and since then they remained friends and he has a gf too at this point. She asked me if this would be acceptable, i told her my boundaries are just that and if she does not feel comfortable with them, we should not go further. She agreed.\n\nThis weekend while showing me some snaps, i saw his name with a smiley beside it indicating they’re “best friends” on snapchat. This means they communicate alot. I found it interesting how his name never pops up on her notifications so i asked her to show me the options beside his name and behold his chats are set to “do not disturb”. I also found it interesting how she communicates with him only through snap chat.\n\nI told her she betrayed my trust by continuing communication with him in secret after saying she wouldnt as she “respected and accepted my boundaries”. I told her the trust is now gone between us and packed her stuff and sent her off.\n\nWas i the asshole?\n\nTldr: broke up with gf when she continued secret communication with an ex after agreeing she wont",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-abab3ad498e845429ba0117c78e0038c",
|
||
"input": "Bit of a clickbaity title but I'm not sure what else to call it.\n\n\nMy girlfriend and I have had issues with her family for some time, usually due to my frustration at how she would bend to their will without a second thought. At the start of the relationship (the first year was very difficult) it was really bad. With her, as a woman in her twenties, constantly needing to ask for permission to do basically anything.\n\n\n\nIt has improved a lot, with her becoming much more assertive and independent but one things still really bothering me. At the point when we had been living together around for around 7 months her parents (who were in a longstanding legal battle with the US government over their citizenship rights) heard that the next hearing was going ahead and assumed they would win the case within that month, despite me, my girlfriend, the lawyer, and their oldest son trying to explain that this was only one step in a long process.\n\n\n\nWith this they decided they would spend their time before moving back to the USA seeing the sights in Europe. The problem was that they drained my girlfriends bank account to do it. (It was an account she made as a minor so her mom had access)\n\nWhen it came out that they won the case but another date was scheduled they exploded and blamed the lawyer and said it was his fault my girlfriends life savings were now non existent. \n\n\nAs I've said, over time she has gotten a lot more assertive and in return her parents have started treating her more like an adult. \n\n\nNow we're left being solely reliant on my income and savings and it honestly makes me furious.\nAny time I bring it up with her she says \"it doesn't matter\" and any time I voice my concern over feeling like I'm the only one putting resources into this relationship she blames her parents. But has not and refuses to ask her parents for the money.\n\n\nI know they aren't in the best position financially but it feels like I'm the one paying for it. Especially when at Christmas or birthdays she's lucky to get cheap low quality clothes and socks, but her younger sibling (aged 21) who still lives at home is bought new phones/consoles and games even when it's not a special occasion.\nWith the excuse being \"well he works with your dad this is how we pay him\" even though he gets paid by their dad for the work he does. (Interesting side note: they pulled him out of school to start help working and now he's too old to finish high school and has no qualifications)\n\n\nSo, knowing that her parents are genuinely not in a good place financially, but they don't manage their money well, am I the asshole for wanting my girlfriend to demand the money from her parents because we shouldn't pay for their mistakes?\n\n\nWhenever we talk about it it always ends with me feeling terrible and just assuming I'm the asshole, but am I the asshole? \n\n\nAnd am I the asshole for expecting her to carry some of the financial burdens?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9e3bafeffee44965aabcdbae6465fd92",
|
||
"input": "So. Throwaway acct. but here it goes.\n\nMy spouse and I currently live on our own in our house and we’re 26 years old and expecting our first child this week.\n\nMy sibling (16) is still living with our mutual parent. I have never gotten along with our mutual parent as I personally feel they’re a hypocritical pile of shit and a terrible excuse for a parent. Always on her phone, does what she wants at all times with no real thought for the kid, and basically shows no attention to the kid regardless of what the kid wants. Nothing has changed since my sibling has been there\n\nMy sibling has some mental problems (bipolar disorder, depression, and a learning disability) that mean realistically sibling should have been given more attention than a normal kid, let alone, the attention they were given\n\nSo basically, sibling got caught liking a person of the same sex a state away and my parent freaked out. Calling sibling a demonic spirit and going extremely over the top with their conservative views under attack. Parent threatening to put sibling in a group home. And sibling therefore has spiraled into a bad spot.\n\nSibling wants to live with me and realistically I know it would be in their best interest because of the situation their in. But frankly, I hate the parent, and the sibling is frankly not very well equipped to handle a job or really any legitimate task due to being taken out of school. But I really don’t want that responsibility of taking care of a child that’s not mine and everything that comes with it, on top of having my own child otw. \n\nSo I feel like garbage, because I’m sure I’m being selfish, but I also feel like it’s not my responsibility in the first place. I was hoping parent 2 would step up (parents are divorced) but I think they are in the same boat I am in (which I think is bullshit because it’s their kid).\n\nSo AITA for not wanting to put myself and my wife through taking care of my sibling on top of my own child despite the fact that my siblings mental well being would be in a much better place if I did.\n\nAlso this is my first post here so I’m sure I’m missing things that would make judgement easier, just let me know.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-e20685fa33ce4faf8340ff4a79dcc16a",
|
||
"input": "Obvious throwaway because I have friends who know my personal account.\n\n​\n\nSo I've known my wife for 9 years, we dated for 5, and we've been married for just under 6 months. She comes from an insanely toxic family, she was emancipated at 16 and to this day refuses to speak to any of her family. They are all addicted to meth and her sister to meth + anything she can get her hands on. Her sister has 3 kids, ages 9 months (F), 6 years (M), and 13 years (F). My wife began taking care of these children when the first was born when she was only 7 years old because no one else would. For whatever reason CPS never took the kids away despite near constant monitoring and the last my wife knew of these kids was 3 years ago when she permanently cut her family off. \n\n​\n\nHer parents always assumed she would adopt any children her sister produced (this actually was the beginning of the rift that led to her cutting her parents off) and were never shy about it. When we started dating (She was 15, I was 17) I told her that if she adopted those kids then the relationship wouldn't work out because if I am having kids they are going to need to be my own. She agreed and said she had no desire to ever adopt those kids. \n\n \nI just deleted like 5 paragraphs worth of useless details because I'm just ranting. I will just get to the point, so out of the blue last week she tells me that she feels guilty about leaving the children behind and she is planning on reaching out to her sister to formally adopt them. I told her hell no, I made it clear very early on that I do not want to raise those kids. She told me that she assumed I would \"grow out of it\" and accept them. We argued and have been arguing over and over for days now about her decision. She has since reached out to her sister and has started the process of adopting the children. The oldest girl is pregnant, the middle child is a decent kid, and the youngest one only got out of prenatal ICU 5 months ago due to the mother's incessant abuse of drugs during pregnancy. I am 22, she is 20. I think even if I wanted to adopt these kids I would still want to say no due to our age and financial situation (She works at a make up store, I work at a grocery store for fucks sake)\n\n​\n\nI haven't straight up told her that I am planning on leaving yet but I've already told my parents that if she doesn't stop then that is my plan. Am I the asshole here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-527d519c2285422eba58290a733f1138",
|
||
"input": "So me and this girl dated briefly, about a month, before she decided that we should break up and she only cited that “we went to fast” as a reason. Obviously I wasn’t okay with this, but said that’s fine anyway. Two days later we’re back in my dorm kissing so obviously I think “well she obviously didn’t mean it, I guess things are fine now”. However she’s mentioned recently that we aren’t dating, we’re more than friends, and she wants to get back together eventually, which when put together are all very confusing to me. The thing is she tried to deescalate our relationship again by saying we should stop kissing too, because for now we’re just friends. Five minutes later we were hooking up again, and we did it again today. \n\nWhen I ask her about it she says she does want to get back together, but she keeps trying to deescalate our relationship. She’s said that there’s other things going on in her life that led to her breaking up with me but she hasn’t told me them. Even when we were dating she slowed us down once, then did it twice after we broke up. I just feel so strange about this scenario and I almost feel like I’m being strung along or something. Would I be an asshole if I just totally called things off right now? I feel bad because I really like her, and she does seem to like me but there’s just something that she’s not telling me that really makes this situation feel strange. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-172033aedf8041d28d6e5b544c1f9b66",
|
||
"input": "3 parties here. Myself, the boyfriend, and the girlfriend. We'll call the boyfriend Y, and the girlfriend K. The friend in question is K.\n\nI met Y and K in first year of university, when they were both single, and had what I think was a pretty good friendship with both of them individually for about a year before they started dating.\n\nThey saw each other for about four years, seeing each other through graduation and eventually getting an apartment together. This is through our undergrad years (still quite a developmental time). They were easily two of my closest friends as individuals.\n\nBreakup context: K started a new program at school, with which came a new set of friends. Y's work had him out of town for weeks at a time, so K is often at their shared apartment on her own. Relationship appears to get a little rocky. The distance and time apart seems to be doing nobody any favours.\n\nOne of the new friends K meets is a guy that she gets close with, call him M. I hear from K that M has a poor opinion of K's boyfriend Y (my friend), and their relationship. M's comments appear to be regular. I hear all this from K, and tell her at the time that those sound like red flags of someone who's trying to split a couple up so he can slot in. M has admitted to doing exactly that before. Y is obviously in arms about the whole thing.\n\nAbout 4 months into this arrangement (shared apartment, new job and new program) things come to a head and K calls it quits. It's messy because they're in the middle of the lease, and it's taxing on everyone. K and Y can both be stubborn and argumentative, and that's the side that comes out.\n\nI had a suspicion that M was the driving force behind K breaking up. This is just from how K has described M to be. Without any evidence I gave K the benefit of the doubt and tried to be as supportive as I could to both K and Y.\n\nI see Y often and we talk as often as we normally do. Communication with K drops off a cliff. Months later, I heard that K and M hooked up very soon after the breakup (approx 1 week).\n\nI think I enough for me to say K ignored the red flags we showed her months ago, and purposely played right into M's hands, hurting my friend Y in the process. So I decide I'm not interested in hanging out with K anymore (not a big deal, since she's cut me off anyway).\n\nA couple of years later, they're broken up and I hear through the grapevine she's apologetic and wants to reach out again. Our other mutual friends are all closer with Y than K, or vice versa and that dictates their opinion. I'm trying to stick to my guns. \n\nI'm in her town this weekend with some mutual friends for an unrelated reason, and this is affecting our plans (some want to catch up with her, some don't care... And me).\n\nReddit, AITA for not wanting to get together? Am I being self-righteous? Should I care this much?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cbab61c1d80c4384a113a94147260ae7",
|
||
"input": "I'm not gonna do it either ways, but just wanna make sure I did the right thing by not asking her out, because I feel an asshole already just because I thought about it, even though I didn't do it, and I'm not going to... ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f5bef25109924005833de239fa76301d",
|
||
"input": "I (19F) drove two hours to see my long distance boyfriend (21M) and he has pretty much spent the whole afternoon playing video games and hanging out with his roommates. I have just kind of silently hung out because I’m very shy and don’t know them very well and all they have been talking about is the video games they play. I have no video game interest or knowledge at all, but try and be supportive because I know he really enjoys them. \n\nAs of right now, I have been awkwardly laying in his bed for two hours while he plays a game on his computer at his desk, only being able to talk to him when he turns around to give me a kiss or tell me he loves me. He plays video games every day after school and I only get to see him once every couple of weeks. I’ve tried to emphasize that I miss him very much and I’m even leaving at an inconvenient time for me tomorrow because I just want to be able to spend a little more time with him, but he seems to think me sitting a couple feet away on my phone for hours is spending time together. \n\nI know if I told him I didn’t want him to play then he wouldn’t, but am I the asshole for wanting him to WANT to not play, and to spend time with my instead. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-96738a097ed44e7386871b81bf8858ce",
|
||
"input": "I previously made plans with someone to chill tonight, but now have found out someone I haven't seen for over a month, and likely won't see for several months after tonight, will be passing through town.\n\nNow they have asked me to hang out tonight.\n\nPerson 1 I live like a 35min drive from, so I'd be able to hang out wit them plenty of other times, but they would probably be dissapointed if not upset that I'd be picking someone else to hang out with over them. \n\nWIBTA if I tell person 1 I'd rather reschedule to take this opportunity to hang with person 2?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-38fa90386d484877a04212d9d2b086d7",
|
||
"input": "My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months and his best friend has been unsupportive from the very beginning. On multiple occasions he has “told me to eat shit, called me a hoe, accuse me of not caring about my boyfriend, etc” he even texted me on my birthday explaining in full detail how terrible I am, how I make my boyfriends life worse and how he’d be better off without me then proceeded to wish me a happy birthday. My boyfriend has repeatedly told him to stop and told me that what he says isn’t true but I’m tired of the harassment. He seems to care more about his own feelings more than his best friends but he may also be trying to look out for his friend.Am I the asshole if I don’t want my boyfriend to continue being friends with him? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f4c70455287a4f5da19fe4c78b1fcb33",
|
||
"input": "First time posting here, and on Reddit in general, so apologies in advance in advance for any errors in formatting/posting.\n\nSo, a bit of background on my friend (18M) and I (18M) have known each other for a few years. We used to be quite good friends but I developed a one-sided crush on them, needless to say things became awkward between us and eventually I decided it would be best for us to stop talking, we didn't talk for around 1 year and I figured that was it for us. \n\nRecently he got back in touch with me and we started talking again. Things were awkward at first but I was determined to try and work past it. One night I decided to ask him where he thought our friendship would go in the future and he told me it was better if we didn't bring up the conversation again, that decision upset me though I didn't voice it and instead simply agreed to not mention it again.\n\nAfter that I decided I wanted to see him in person again and we arranged to meet up at his house, the day went smoothly and we played games and then went out for a walk while talking to one another. When it got late I was getting ready to go home and we hugged, though after that he told me I was bad at picking up on social cues, when I asked him what he meant later he told me he didn't remember. This again upset me but I decided not to voice it yet again.\n\nThe next day I questioned him on something. I had previously asked him if he wanted to stay round mine and he agreed to it, the day after we were round his he told me he didn't want to stay round anymore as things were still awkward. I told him I wanted there to be full honesty between us, I was again upset by his actions, this time it was because he had lied to me. That evening he told me that we don't see each other the same in this friendship and that we should stop talking, I've tried to contact him since but I've just been ignored and this whole ordeal has made me miserable.\n\nI keep wondering if I had simply moved too fast, that I should have given him more space and that it was me who was making things awkward. So, AITA for moving too quickly and potentially driving him away?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d9d108ec3e0b420c8e7c24568e85c0de",
|
||
"input": "Hey everyone, I mostly need to vent, but please smite me with your judgement if you feel like it.\n\n​\n\n**Let's start with some background.**\n\nI am a freelance game developer with multiple years of experience, and I work full-time on my own projects. I have a friend, who currently studies VR and UX design in uni, let's call him M. He has a girlfriend, who is a first-year gamedev student, let's call her L. L and M are also artists, kind of. We are all about the same age, around 20. I also want to emphasise that 'friend's GF' is not necessarily equal to 'my friend' in this case.\n\nL has a task for this semester - to make a game trailer. She decided that she doesn't want to throw away (???) the idea and the art after she completes the task, and wants to make a game. Us three have agreed to team up and work together. Now, this is important: during the initial meetup, L said things like \"this is **my** project\" and \"**I** have the rights for this idea\". I explicitly said that since this is her project, she will be responsible for the workflow and design, and I will only code and build. This will be a good practice for her, and the game is very simple, so this shouldn't be a big problem. We all agreed on that.\n\nI'm not going to go into the details, I'll just say that it's a simple mobile game. I also want to clarify that the basic workflow of making a game is as follows: take the idea you want to work on, make a game design document, make a prototype, refine, test, deploy (repeat 4 and 5 if necessary). It is generally considered a bad practice to freestyle things and work on later stages before the earlier stages. E.g. you make the music and high-quality models for the game, and then end up not using anything because the game gets reworked six times in prototyping.\n\nSo the next thing I talk about on this meeting is the GDD and the importance of making design choices in the beginning. I also mention multiple times that I, as a person who builds everything, need to know what needs to be done and how it should look/feel/work before I start working on the prototype. I ask her if she can compile everything into a single document as she did before, and advice her to use google and ask her teachers if she struggles with something.\n\nThis spring, L was making a project for her university entrance exam. The task was to basically design a game. This is important since she was capable of making a design document and other necessary things to show off and describe a game idea, therefore she knows what to do and how to do it. She periodically asked for help, and I helped where I could, without getting too involved, since this was her exam, not mine. Before that, I helped other people with their projects and ideas, all for free (there is a certain tendency here).\n\nThis time, I expected to be able to finally work as a part of the team. Not to do everything myself, not babysit everyone, just do my part and make a game. Oh boy. Was I ever as fucking wrong as this time. I mean, what can be easier than writing a few pages explaining the basic ideas? Core and meta, how to monetize, how should the menu look, what SFX and VFX we might need. The answer is, many things, but making a design document is not the most difficult part of making a game. Mind that is is also not final, you can and have to make changes to the GDD, but it's oh so difficult to work without it.\n\nWe \"started\" two months ago. L tried to make me write this thing a few times, and I kept sending her to google things and/or ask her teachers. She also kept feeding me with small, random, unstructured blobs of information, maybe hoping that I will compile them myself. I was close to doing this myself a few times but kept reminding myself that this time, I'm not the designer, she is the designer. Therefore, I was patiently waiting for her to write a three-page document. For two months. Last week I received two paragraphs with no useful info and replied that this isn't enough.\n\nI might have skipped a few details, I hope that it's nothing important, if you need clarification - please comment.\n\n​\n\n**Now the real story finally begins.**\n\nThis part will be biased since I'm still rather angry. I'm honestly trying to be objective, but it's hard.\n\nAfter our last dialogue, I was afk for a few days. I had stuff to do, personal stuff, and I honestly think I have a right to do my stuff whenever I want to. So, I return, power on the station, and get quite a shitpost from L *in our work chat,* that is supposed to be used for concept art, file sharing, and discussion. Anyways.\n\nI come back, and send her one of my own old design documents *as an example*. Why should I even do this, literally google this, please, it takes 3 minutes, and you have a whole faculty full of gamedevs! L responds, saying that it's my fault that she couldn't use google for two months, because \"if only I sent her the file a week ago she would've done everything earlier\". And she just keeps on fucking going on about how \"nobody is doing anything\" and \"you only do the code while I do everything else\" and \"it's such a shame that my amazing idea is getting lost because of you all\", and the best one is \"you are not helping me do my job\". I get it, you're a student, but I'm not supposed to teach you how to make games. I agreed to work for free. I think this is kind of enough of an investment.\n\nRegarding the code and stuff, it's a valid point, kind of. But we agreed on this initially, didn't we? Like, not taking into the account that code+build is 50% of the job, so it's a bit impolite to say this anyway.\n\nAnd here comes the fun part. She says, \"this is OUR game, it will only be MY game when I finish studying\". I'm honestly kind of taken aback by this. So, like, it's your game while it's easy, and then suddenly it's our game? What is this, some sort of conditional communism? Flip the switch and you're the boss, flip again and it's our job? So I'm confused and I ask her to calm down and tell her that if this load is too difficult for her, it might be a bad idea to continue studying/working in this field since it's only downhill from here (speaking from personal experience).\n\nNow, my opinion is that this is bullcrap. You can't call yourself the boss and then just shrug it off as soon as you have to do something. You also can't really say that you don't want to be the boss but keep talking shit. So I breathe in, breathe out, and logically explain to her that this is just workflow. You can't expect to get things done if you don't do them properly, and I have told her on multiple occasions what is the correct approach to this task. That I understand that this is difficult, that she also has to study, and maybe it wasn't the best idea to make a game at this point in time. If writing a small document is so difficult, maybe it's just not your thing, right? Fucken, wrong.\n\nAnd the shitstorm begins. If previously, the shit was just dripping from the ceiling fan, now the pipes of shit have burst full and wide, and the pressure is beyond imaginable. It's like Nurgle himself has arrived in our chat. \"You are lazy. You are a cunt. You don't do your job. You are not helping me. Oh, I'm just a beginner, and *this* is your motivational speech for me. Oh, I was hoping that you would do everything for me. You are acting so smug and grown up, why don't you guide me.\" You get the point.\n\nShould I spend my own time teaching and guiding a (basically) random person, because I know how to? Should I do L's job for her? Should I maybe do everything for her? Should I wipe her ass every time she takes a shit? Greatest minds of millennia still don't have answers to these questions. Keep in mind, M isn't really saying anything in this situation, and I understand that he is kind of between a rock and a hard place, and I don't blame him. I also want to point out that I haven't dropped the project yet, and I'm still waiting for the bloody design document.\n\nI personally feel like I should rush and help, as I always do, \"Take the wheel, Kuro!\" But I am so fucking tired. I help my friends and family because they are friends and family. I help my other half because she is my light and shadow. But I'm not there like a robot to complete requests from random people on a daily basis. I used to be stuck in this trap for a long time, doing things other people didn't want to do themselves, just because I can. Now I find it toxic, and I think it impairs personal growth and development in others. Am I the asshole?\n\nI might have missed things, but the general story is here. The post turned out to be twice as long as I expected it to be. I also might be completely wrong in my opinion that you're not supposed to talk shit to your coworkers, especially if they are working for free. I raise my glass to all of you who have finished reading.\n\n​\n\n**tl;dr** A person decided to jump over their head, I refused to do their work, got shit-talked and advised them to change the field of study, while it's not too late.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-50adff83d4a247628ec5135cf72262bd",
|
||
"input": "Don't think I've made a post before, hi Reddit :)\ntldr at the bottom.\n\nI'm (25) a LSA (Learning Support Assistant) in a school, the money is terrible but I really enjoy helping children learn. Honestly I've had a lot of jobs in the past and this is the only one I feel like I'm making a difference in.\n\nMy SO (36) gets into this heated discussion with me every now and then; your job doesn't make enough money. \n\nI could train for a year to become a teacher. It's the obvious path to more money for me and stay inside the thing. But teachers have to work waaaaay more. It's unreasonable how much they have to work and it's not like they're paid a fortune. I've been in lots of jobs from farming to the tech industry; coding and testing. Nothing has given me the satisfaction I get from watching people learn with my help.\n\nI have a mild general anxiety disorder and have suffered from heavy depression in the past. Keeping my workload low has really been helping me find a balance in my life. I don't care about money, I don't have a car, rent is (just) affordable, I'm happy to live like this... That said, I'm not paying a mortgage.\n\nHer argument is that I'm unable to save up a reasonable sum of money for emergencys, or just life in general. She thinks it isn't enough for me to live off of and I'm not thinking enough about my future. I'm not really sure she's wrong tbh. But I'm happy with how things currently are, I don't want to push myself harder, possibly becoming overworked, for money I don't care about.\n\nAITA? I really don't know.\n\nThanks for taking the time to read!\n\nTLDR: My job makes me little money but I'm happy with that, SO would like me to look for higher paid work.\n\nP.S: I love by SO with all my heart, she has become my fiancee as of last year.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0c68b0b1f2a0483182bf007fc0f7f1f6",
|
||
"input": "So the other night I was in the library, going over and double checking what assessments I had coming up and I noticed that there was something due next week - it’s an assessment worth about 20% and it’s a small presentation on work placement we did last year for our course. \n\nThe class I’m referring to is incredibly small, there are seven other students and throughout the years we’ve all talked matters of assessments via Facebook group chat. \n\nIn my opinion, I feel like these other girls talk way too much / ask each other for help on individual assessments way too much but, that’s another issue. \n\nI haven’t noticed on the group chat any mention of this assessment (and trust me, it would be mentioned by one of the other girls asking for help every five minutes) and I’m starting to wonder if they’ve forgotten about it. \n\nA part of me wants to remind them that we have this assessment due next week - to not lower myself to their petty drama and acts (there has been a LOT of bitchiness with this group) but also a part of me wants to sit back and watch the world burn as it were - they’re in their third year after all and In my opinion they should be aware of this stuff. \n\nI’ll probably tell them anyway but just wanted some opinions! Thanks guys!",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-279f2df11ef44fce93cc2bffc89ecd4e",
|
||
"input": "Quick backstory: I met a these two on an online game (overwatch) we joked around in english till they said something that made me realize we all live in the same country. Weird coincidence that they just lived ca. 1,5 hours away from me. Few months after I met them, when we still weren’t really close but still talking, I started dating someone else. Since we were both in relationships we talked alot and met up and became really good friends.\n\nA month ago me and my ex broke up, I was very upset and they were there for me and I meant a lot. But he told me she gets jealous if me and him speak alone. I feel really bad, but he (and her) are some of my bestfriends and I don’t know if I should distance myself from him? I don’t want to break them up.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-af9d2436abd745eda4e128d10d6fe61c",
|
||
"input": "Title doesn’t give much info so I will explain further. \n\nThis happened about 20 minutes ago. I (20F) just finished seeing captain marvel with my boyfriend and a group of our all guys friend. There were 5 boys in total (they average about 6’2” together) and little old 5’1” me (female). As the movie ended we began to walk out. I fell behind and was stuck walking with a group of young boys. \n\nPlease note for the next part I did not make eye contact with any of the boys and had not even been sitting near them during the movie. \n\nAs I was walking with said group of young boys one of them purposely bumps into me and stares at the side of my face. He then takes a deep inhale and goes “UGH smells like fish sticks!!” His entire entourage of boys copy and begin also yelling “ugh do you smell those fish sticks!!” “Fish Sticks!!” And so on. \n\nI begin to push my way through them as I immediately become upset as that is a touchy subject for most women. As I am pushing my way through them they begin to make obnoxious moaning noises as if they were pleasured by me pushing through them. \n\nI grab onto my boyfriends jacket and say “Hey! Why didn’t you say something they’re saying I smell like fish sticks” \n\nHis response is “ThoseCacti, they’re 13. That’s just giving them what they want. What am I gonna do? You don’t even smell who cares.” \n\nI agree. I see his point. It was probably just going to give them the reaction they wanted but I am really upset. No woman wants to hear they smell like that. I have also confided in my boyfriend about how I am nervous and insecure if I do smell like that. \n\nAlso, after we exited the movies I was visibly upset. One of my guy friends asked me what was wrong and I told him. They all said nothing about what I just told them, said “see ya later” and left immediately even though after most movies we stand outside and talk about it. \n\nWould I be the asshole for going back and telling my boyfriend I wish that he defended me in some way? Would I also be the asshole for telling my friends I wish they had said something too? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8974ff548fa5431885e1ee69722d9ded",
|
||
"input": "TLDR: momma drama, affects my brother’s coming home cuz I didn’t invite some close fam. \n\nMy mom was a single parent for most of my childhood. She’s sweet, loving, honest and extremely loyal. \nShe tends to get caught in the middle of the family fights. Every time something happens, people drag her into it. Since she wants everyone to get along, she always tries to mediate but gets shitted on for getting too involved. It’s caused a lot of incidents where miscommunications have led to her being cast out or shunned. Whoever was beefing would treat us(her kids) as if nothing was going on but wouldn’t invite her to birthday parties and family gatherings where they would eventually shit-talk her and whatnot. Mind you, I always thought we were pretty tight knit, but now i see my mom would always get the shit end of the stick but in these situations. She wouldn’t lash out or react to keep all us kids out of the drama.(Us 2nd gen kids are super close)\n It’s taken a toll on her and i feel so bad that she’s been taking that type of abuse for so long. She loves our family, but doesn’t acknowledge just how toxic they can be. \nShe’s coming around and has decided enough is enough, and has started to cut some of that toxicity out of her life. My mom and i are super close so obviously I’m going to side with her. \nNow, one of my cousins (who is just a bit closer to my brother) was planning my brother’s coming home party with me. His mom is one of the people that my mom has decided to not have anything to do with anymore. I took it upon myself to let my cousin know of the situation. Didn’t give him all the deets of what went down with my mom and his but told him i did not want her there. He understands to some extent cuz he’s seen the mistreatments of my mom, but since i didn’t give all details of the situation involving his mom, I was scolded for “making this all about my mom and not about my brother that’s coming home.” I agree to an extent, but also don’t want to give my mom anymore shit to deal with now that she’s choosing to give herself a break from the BS. \nMy cousin’s decided to not attend anymore and is pretty much telling me I’m picking sides instead of trying to keep things neutral for my brother’s sake. Idk, I feel bad cuz we’re all affected but I’m more concerned about my mom’s well being.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f82e73dbcf2e4c09853c3c73bbb6f75e",
|
||
"input": "My boss sent me a text asking if I would cover a shift for a sick co-worker by adding on 3 extra hours of my already 8 hr shift. I told her no because our line of work hires substitutes for these types of situations. My boss was irritated that I wouldn't cover the shift and told me she would take care of it. I found out that my boss did not request a sub, but instead had the sick co-worker come in. Now the sick co-worker is mad at me because she had to work and I wouldn't cover the end of her 3 hr shift. \n\nAITA for not covering her shift?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fba84d004a164a3a9af9e9b1124246df",
|
||
"input": "Im nearing the age when one wants to find someone to settle down with and start a family. My parents really want me to get married so that they can have grandchildren and are actively looking for a wife for me. I am also someone who routinely works and studies for around 100 hours weekly and would much rather do research than anything else. Because of that I feel like me getting married and having kids would be a disservice on a future spouse and kids and I would much rather do my work then spend time with a wife and kids. They also want the future spouse to be someone they find from back home which I don't agree with(arranged marriage from Pakistan). On the other hand my parents have supported me for my whole life and really want grandchildren. Would I be the asshole for denying them grandchildren? I can obviously change my mind later but they are older and not in the best health.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f5359763ce9a48d3bd9982d9084c8bbe",
|
||
"input": "I’m a big time horse rider and had been looking for a new horse for a while when my dad bought me one for Christmas (for any horse fans, it was an Appaloosa) and my cousin wanted to name it and kept pestering me to let him name the hose and eventually I got frustrated and just snapped at him to stop and let me have my time with the horse to break it in a bit. I eventually named it Steapa after the dude from The Last Kingdom but not before Max* went and threw a tantrum to his parents who then complained to my parents that I ruined his morning and must let Max choose a name. AITA?\n\n*not his real name",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-447c2c0fe1bb48c08eb04502ee94eb35",
|
||
"input": "I bike to school and home most of the time, and my brother is supposed to, too- except he decided to walk today. When I caught up to him, he had fallen over and scraped his ankle. \n\n​\n\nI was in a horrible mood, because I had two huge tests today (that I probably have failed lol) and told him (not too gently) to get on my bike and propel himself forward with his good foot. My brother was screaming and wailing literally at the top of his lungs (he's in 8th grade) for at least 30 minutes, and I put up with it for the rest of the walk home, and then helped him to get up the stairs, wash the wound and put ice on it.\n\n​\n\nTomorrow I have a French test and more homework due, and I didn't want to sit there and listen to my brother's wailing. Also, I thought he needed to rest. So I left my brother alone. \n\n​\n\nMy brother called my mother, who came home screeching at the top of her lungs how I was \"cold-blooded\" and \"heartless\" and how I needed to sit there, pour hydrogen peroxide all over his wounds, comfort him, and basically do whatever he tells me to. I'm not his servant, and I have tons of homework!\n\n​\n\nAITA for not helping my brother? I kinda feel guilty about leaving him there, but I didn't know what else I could do- he didn't break or twist his ankle, and the scrape wasn't too deep. He didn't need to go to the ER or anything. Was I in the wrong? \n\n​\n\n ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a6afbfc918ed4a9099d0b15dd6177e62",
|
||
"input": "I had to cut this down a lot.\n\nNew Year's 2017, my ex (A) broke up with me right before a party we planned. They broke up with me with their boyfriend (B) in the room (polyamory), even though I begged A not to involve him. At the time, it was because I was clingy and overly jealous of B which I agree was an issue.\n\nA month before, they and our mutual friends C and D all made a group behind my back \"for a safe space away from me to talk about my issues\". They never told me what issues they had.\n\nB and his friends were shit talking me at school and my sadness turned into anger. I was in a server to talk to other friends and move on, and my first overly questionable thing happens. I was in our vent channel, and I drew me stabbing B to death. B came to me later about how I threatened to kill him. I was confused on how he found it, since I shared that where he shouldn't have seen it. I found out that C was leaking the logs of that chat.\n\nA B and C would continue to vent about me on Vent (a social media app for talking about your emotions) with aggressive posts about how \"abusive\" I was, until about April 2017. As far as I knew.\n\nBetween then and now, we had a few good conversations. I still had anxiety seeing them.\n\nApril 2018: I got a job at a hardware store, and it turns out A was hired the day I came in for orientation. I had an anxiety attack. I vented about it and told my friends about it.\n\nLater, A informed me that them, B, C, and D moved in together. A, B, and C started dating.\n\nI was discussing plans w/ D to get my pal Z out of his impoverished home, but D went radio silent on the both of us. However, he was constantly posting art with the rest of the house. \n\nA week later, I get a desperate call from Z.\n\nD broke up with Z because \"he was an abuser\", and now everyone in that house is fuckin. I. Was. Angry. They pulled the exact same shit on Z that they did me.\n\nB messages me, saying I'm \"getting myself involved with someone who will strip me of all my money\". I call his BS, and he starts sending me screenshots of Z and B saying \"shit\" about me. All the things said in those screenshots were things Z's issues that have been handled.\n\nI check his Tumblr, and it turns out he was talking about my vents.\n\nI proceed to make a vent that says, \"How can you say I'm not over it when you guys are stalking me?\" Then brand new accounts made that day comment, made by A and B to rant at me. Are you kidding me?\n\nZ and I start looking through the accounts and they all were talking shit for a long time now.\n\nIt became a war, me flinging their hypocrisies and questions at them, while they sling insults.\n\nIt came to a climax of me posting a joke OC on my deviantART, making fun of B's horrible art, all of them getting engaged after a month, and their behavior. B sent me death threats.\n\nI reported the death threats to work.\n\nAll of them have been posting shit since saying I'm a dumb lazy whore.\n\nTo put it simply, AITA for retaliating?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-49609878980842db88beba1621699364",
|
||
"input": "I hated going to my high school graduation and would not have attended if I didn't have to give a speech. Now, my parents know that I am not intending to go to my college graduation and are trying to pressure me into going because of family and the fact that this would be the first one that they go to (I am the first person to have gone to college in my dad's side and my mom's sisters went to college but my parents could not attend the ceremony).\n\nCelebrating my graduation is almost insulting to me. If I weren't going to grad school I wouldn't even be using my degree. The only reason I came here is to delay the time before I have to work for the rest of my life. The careers offered by my degree are only desk jobs which seem like absolute hell. Since I am staying for grad school, I feel as though going to the ceremony would be a huge waste of time. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2156cdaa727445c7b189bb32dae28266",
|
||
"input": "So, I was participating in a session of the European Youth Parliament at my school and we had a party the day before. Every comitee had to set up a table with food and I got my mom to buy it since no one else could (we only had the day of the party to get the food and we would be at school all day). Three of my colleagues brought their food so they didn't eat anything from our or any other table. It's been a week and only 2 people have paid so far so I decide to remind the group of their debt. Now they refuse to pay for it, since they didn't eat anything, despite the table being our responsibility.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7ad628f4e9c0478eb6887b713994621e",
|
||
"input": "Background: during a late night with our fussy daughter (6 weeks old) I opted to get up and feed her. She finished about 3/4ths of a bottle of breastmilk, leaving about a quarter of an ounce in it. We left it on the table. 2-3 hours later our daughter is peckish again and I gave her the rest of that breastmilk and then gave her a small bottle of formula until she fell back asleep. My wife was awake for the first feeding but was asleep for the second.\n\nThat morning I mention I gave her the rest of the breastmilk bottle that she didn't finish. My wife was upset, telling me that she could get really sick from stale milk because she had drank from the bottle a couple hours prior.\n\nI decided to look up online if it was true. For formula you need to throw it out after an hour, regardless if it was touched. But for breastmilk there doesn't seem to be any issue with it being reused, at least for up to 4 hours, since breastmilk can fight against bacteria better than formula.\n\nI sent her a link to what I had read, and the next thing I hear is a very sarcastic \"Clearly you're the better parent here, why don't you take care of her and I'll go back to work instead\" and now she'll barely talk to me and has just been livid with me all day.\n\nTL;DR: wife was upset I gave our baby leftover breastmilk that was about 2-3 hours old, showed her research it's not bad for a baby, and she doubled down against me and is even more upset.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c81495e1cf15472a96ce014d696f44b7",
|
||
"input": "\nI (21, F) wouldn’t be happy to call the other person, we’ll call her Jan (23, F) in this scenario “the asshole” or the person in the wrong, bc I truly believe she isn’t. I just don’t know if my behavior makes me an asshole.\n\nI recently moved in with a dear friend of mine (my best friend, really. All that lame girl shit: planning to be each other’s maids of honors, etc.) into a city she’s been living in for a while. It’s been pretty lonely, I’m not sure how to make new friends.. Jan’s really busy, working the work week and having extensive plans during the weekends with friends, keeping up with hobbies, etc. I was always excited to see jan when she came home, trying to squeeze in a few moments to chat or maybe watch something together. We’re both pretty “silly” people and so I thought we had a running bit about me play-annoying her. She loves the frozen franchise so I would knock on her door and sing the do you want to build a snowman song.\n\nI have a chronic pain disorder, so I warned her that when I moved in I might keep to myself more than she’d expect. Which I do. But she’s maybe in our apartment for an hour or two a day when she’s not asleep or has her door closed doing other things, etc, and she is my only true person to really see in person to hang out with. So, the other night, I was trying to chat with her about her day while she folded laundry in our kitchen and she said “remember when you said you were gonna keep to yourself mostly laughter I was looking forward to that.” And I said “I’m ... sorry?” And Jan replied “well I’m just trying to get some laundry done and here you are...” And I stepped back from the situation and apologized for bothering her while she was trying to get something done, because she was right. If she only has a bit of time to accomplish task while she’s home, it’s unfair of me to try and monopolize it for myself. It’s no fault of hers that I’m having a difficult time trying to make some new friends. I told her I’d be better at leaving her alone, and went into my room for the night.\n\nI miss her, but I decided not to bother her so I haven’t. I’ve really only seen her when she sought out to see me. \n\nWe’re from the same hometown, and she left earlier this week to visit her family for Thanksgiving. We had a rather awkward exchange about it this week, as she has complained rather frequently about going home for the holidays because of her extended family not being her favorite company. My birthday is around the holiday, so for the last two years we’ve spent thanksgiving together, so she kept mentioning that she hasn’t seen them in a while because of me, so she was going to go anyway. After weeks of this, on Tuesday I asked her to please stop complaining about going home to me, because my Thanksgiving plans included working many long hard hours (work in a Bakery) up until the day, and then going home at about 1 pm to be in an empty apartment by myself. She replied “well, you could have asked me to stay back with you.” But I don’t really feel I could have. She told me she “always” planned on coming back on Saturday “just for your birthday.”\n\nMy birthday is on Saturday but I got off from work so i decided I take the train to our hometown tomorrow morning. she keeps texting me asking what my plans are. I’ve responded honestly, that I’d like to spend it with my parents and my brother, being with my dogs at home, and she’s welcome to join us, and to come over whenever if she’d like. I won’t really have gifts this year, and I don’t plan on making a big deal out of it. It’s just nice to have a weekend off from work. She’s acting as if I’m avoiding her or being rude, and not making a specific plan is inconvenient for her. I told her if she’s busy she can pick a time and maybe a place for lunch or something and I’ll meet her there. This only seemed to upset her more? My birthday was never a big discussion point before the laundry debacle. I think I’ve just made her feel guilty, which wasn’t my goal and I’ve told her that multiple times. But I don’t know if my behavior reflects that. \n\nTl;dr: my friend told me I’ve been bothering her. I apologized, and stepped back. She’s upset that I don’t have a lot of interest in making specific plans for my birthday, which I wouldn’t ... anyway.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1aa654459b624baf9fea671089cc7ca2",
|
||
"input": "My whole life I’ve grown up without a father only being raised by my mum, while it hasn’t been easy I’m now 20 and am definitely aware that I never needed him since mum did a great job on her own so I’ve now become some what angry as any kid who’s father willingly walked out on what was supposed to be his family, anyway fast forward to last week.\n\nI received a Facebook message from a cousin I haven’t heard from in 10 years saying that my dad had a stroke and is in hospital and he’s okay just has to stay in, my only response was “thanks for the message” the next day he told me he had a 9 hour heart surgery and I basically replied with the same thing, mind you I was out having drinks with some friends when I heard this and I haven’t heard or seen from my dad since I was 13 so it was a bit of a crazy text to receive out of nowhere.\n\nI told my mum the next day as it wasn’t my biggest priority and she seemed quite worried whilst I said “I don’t really care” and she got angry saying he’s still my dad, and while this is true and I would never wish this upon anyone I still can’t seem to find a reason why suddenly this will affect me, he hasn’t been in my life and I barely know things about him, so it’s hard for me to feel emotions to what I can almost describe as a stranger, I’ve told my mum that what happens to him good or bad doesn’t change my life but she wasn’t too pleased with that, and while I’m still yet to find out how he recovers I’m stuck here asking myself if I’m TA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-35490d2fe7c14a20be90d7f2eded163a",
|
||
"input": " Here is some well needed background infomation; me and my boyfriend at the time have been dating for 2 years near the end of our relationship i felt like we stopped texting alot and when i brought the issue up with him he would always brush it off, it came to a point where i sent him a playlist of chill beats with titles such as We dont talk anymore, lost in touch, ect. And other song titles like that. A part of the reason we brokw up is because we barley talked anymore(we go to the same school). We both agreed we would be friends thought.\n\n Since september of last year till a few days ago i have been ignoring my ex boyfriend because he doesnt text me, he said that everything was cool between us but to me there wasnt. I would tell him and he would say everything is fine, i would talk to him in the halls but he would ignore me and i would shoot him a text and he would just see it and not replay for hours later but i would see he had been online at or a few momments before. It hurt me because he knew a part of the reason we broke up was because of communication and than he would say everything is fine.\n Anyway i would get ignored so i decided to give him a tast of his own medition by ignoring him at school and not texting him, i do this for a while and my friend told me that my ex was confused why i was ignoring him. Me and my ex talked about it and agreed everything was fine but the same thing would happen, i would get ignored so i would ignore back.\n Anyway FF to a week ago, everything is a bit better now. I was eating lunch with my ex and our friend and my friend ask if i seen his art recently and i havnt (we are all artist and showing each other our art is a normal thing to do so i was hurt i didnt see any of his) and than he says to my friend \"oh hey wanna go to my house later\" and im in tears because 1) he knows i want to text him and he doesnt text me 2) im kinda sad we arent close anymore. My friend ask if im okay cause tears are kinda running down my eyes and my ex does nothing. \n Ff yesterday i stopped ignoring my ex because i wanna be his friend and act like eveything is okay because i want to be friends again, am i an asshole for what i did?\n( also sorry i have bad punctuation and grammer/spelling)",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7b2580eb451d40eaa13db622c92bac70",
|
||
"input": "I signed a lease and got an apartment but I didn’t tell anyone. I just sort of left? \n\nNow my sister is upset and telling me how I ruined Christmas how could I go behind her back without telling anyone. My dad is upset and my younger sister is crying because she thinks I abandoned everyone. \n\nI didn’t leave the family, I’m 20 and I just wanted to get away from them",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dd9ead9db5004c469898a3d6cb174bb9",
|
||
"input": "Recently my girlfriend told me about how her cousin was having a sugar daddy relationship with a 30+ year old man. She said it was strictly going to be for her company in exchange for gifts and money which I highly doubted considering most of these types of relationships end up with the guy wanting sex. A couple weeks later, her cousin tells her that she's had sex with the man and he gave her a $300 \"gift\". Apparently, she met him off of an app and lied about her age because she is 17, (app is 18+). She also said that the guy knows she is underage. I don't think I should be the one to tell her parents but told my girlfriend that if she cared about her cousin, she should notify them.\n\nWWBTAs if either of us snitched?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-30a720904fed4dcd980dce6e868bc8e2",
|
||
"input": "He told me today he wanted all my passwords to social media “just to take a look” which I felt like was a huge invasion of privacy. I told him I have no problem showing you if for some reason you want to see something but giving all my passwords was too much. Yes, we are in a relationship and don’t/shouldn’t have secrets, but am I not entitled to that small amount of privacy, even if I’m not hiding anything? \n\nHe’s done many questionable things in our past to break my trust but moving forward in our relationship i basically let it all go once I felt comfortable. I figured I wanted to be with this person so all I could do was trust he wouldn’t make the same mistakes and move on. Now, I know his passwords. Not because I asked for them, though. For 1) he uses practically the same password for lots of things and 2) he has asked me to log into —— to find something or do something. I don’t snoop. I made it a point not to because I feel like that’s unhealthy. I don’t want to become obsessed with know what he’s doing or who he’s talking to, etc. I give him his privacy. \n\nAfter explaining it was an invasion of my privacy, he managed to turn it around and call me “sketchy”, not understanding at all where I am coming from. I’m so incredibly hurt by this & we’ve gotten into a huge argument over it. He is pushing his insecurities into me & I feel like it’s not fair to me since I am so trusting to him despite his lies in the past but that trust is not being reciprocated.\n\nPlease, AITA? Am I playing victim or taking it too far??",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8b3ddf69287b45d6a3e2a6843bf76cfb",
|
||
"input": "I am mortified by what happened, it was totally out of character:\n\nTLDR: I attacked my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend kinda badly after she put her foot towards my face saying she'd love to kick me.\n\nThe ex boyfriend and I are good friends, we haven't really broken up and we are staying exclusive, we still see each other like normal. We broke up because I couldn't handle being in a relationship when I think he's always lying, this is due to me finding out he was texting his ex behind my back the whole time & some other ladies. \n\n​\n\nThe ex had to come over to say goodbye to her dying cat which my ex and she owned for a year together, before she cheated on him multiple times. And I have been with my ex & the cat for the past 3. \n\nMy ex went from not wanting to tell her, to not wanting to invite her to the house, to saying he would allow her only 30 minutes. I told him from the start she had a right to know, I wasn't thrilled but she did own the cat for a while.. \n\n​\n\nThe day comes and she is at his house for 2 hours now while I was travelling down. I arrive, and my ex asks if she should leave, I felt bad and said I didnt mind in these circumstances but I'd like my own time with the cat without her presence. I had actually called her a long time ago to make peace so I had no bad intention towards her, but expected the same level of respect. Long story short, she was refusing to leave. My ex's parents were blaming me, my ex was yelling at me because I was getting upset she wouldn't leave.\n\nNow shes had around 3-4 hours with the cat and I barely got an hour. And I was made to leave, she was good to stay. \n\nI felt upset that I had considered everyone but no one considered me. I get my ex was crushed about the cat, but I am basically still his girlfriend, he still said I was his number one but I really don't feel it. It's almost principle that he should've defended me., even if he just considered me a friend \n\nI feel like an asshole though because this almost became about me and the ex instead of the cat. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a7cc129123a749878090f2401ffa7e3a",
|
||
"input": "📷 \n\nThere was an argument that happened yesterday.\n\nMy sister and her boyfriend moved into an apartment a week or so ago and my sister's childhood friend (female) came to visit (They've been friends since they were toddlers).\n\nThey bought a mattress and it arrived yesterday and the boyfriend was mad because it arrived right as he was leaving for work and he didnt get to test the bed.\n\nThe friend stayed at the apartment for about 8 hours hanging out with my sister and she got to lay on the bed before him and it pissed him off.\n\nMy sister and her boyfriend dont have living room furniture (it arrives soon), so the 2 laid in bed to watch netflix and talk and the only tv in the apartment is in the bedroom where which is where they spent the day.\n\nHe kept complaining about the friend eating their food and she being in the apartment without him because apparently he doesnt like people in his apartment and he was complaining about the oils of the friend in the sheets and wanted to wash them because he immediately assumed them as dirty.\n\nHe keeps complaining about how he didnt get to enjoy the apartment because he's been busy cleaning and sorting whatever furniture they had then going to work immediately.\n\nMy sister said it shouldnt be a big deal and all she did was hang with her friend and watch netflix and had food here and there and lay in the bed because as stated, no living furniture.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7f3f0e8717584ee8bbb1342229ffeefe",
|
||
"input": "I'm staying at their beach house for a week, but I'm so tired of their shitty behavior towards me! They clearly dislike me and treat me like I didn't exist. They ignore me and talk to my bf as if I wasn't there. I'm tired of it. I feel like I've had enough and I'm just going to skip these trips from now on. It's torture. Am I the asshole? Should I just suck it up and go ? It feels bad not going, staying alone at the house tbh, but I'm really tired of them.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8d4f1f08e760406eb1c90e4035025adb",
|
||
"input": "Context: girlfriend got her wisdom teeth taken out, so we go to Kroger because we need to get soft foods and her prescription, we do this to try and hit two birds with one stone and get her home and resting as fast as possible rather than going to a pharmacy and then a grocery store. While there my girlfriend starts feeling like she's going to be sick, I go in to the girl's bathroom with her and start taking her gauze out when a kroger employee comes in to use the bathroom and starts yelling at me for being in the girl's bathroom. To prevent a scene and diffuse the situation we walk out of the bathroom and go to a water fountain outside the bathroom. The kroger employee walks out and gives me the stink eye, as I start changing her gauze she passes out and faceplants in to the floor. People start staring and I hurriedly get her up and conscious and she says she needs to puke. I take her in to the bathroom, and as I start to go in the bathroom with my girlfriend the same employee comes and yells at me again, except this time I am entirely ignoring her running around trying to get paper towels frantically. (I am 20, and she is 18, we have never been in this situation and have absolutely no idea what im doing) whilst I run around like a psycho this employee continues to yell at me. \"Sir you can't be in here, sir this is the womans bathroom\" \"sir she can be in here but you cant\" This is while my girlfriend is holding on to the toilet for dear life, this woman gives no fucks. I've fucking had it, I turn around with bloodshot eyes and scream along the lines of \"THEN CALL THE FUCKING COPS, SHE JUST PASSED OUT FACE FIRST AND IM NOT FUCKING LEAVING\" followed by some other choice words, none of which attack her personally. But this employee is RELENTLESS, she agrees to look after my girlfriend but I am still told to leave the bathroom. My girlfriend explains when I left the employee just stood a good distance from her and watched her, a simple \"you ok?\" after a couple minutes was all this employee offered her.\n\n​\n\n5 minutes pass of me pacing outside the bathroom, more angry than I physically knew I could be. I walk in the bathroom, get her and walk out. \n\n​\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-28d2f8bea5a0412b9795a5b70e68808c",
|
||
"input": "So, yes I’m on a alt for many reasons. \n\nMy neighbor and I used to be good friends. We would shoot pool together and drink beer. We didn’t really get drunk, but just enough to have some fun and relax. \n\nI got a job working night shift about 5 months ago and our friendship fell apart. We were never joke together so we just stopped talking. While we were still friends, he always respected the fact that I had to sleep during the day and would mow his lawn in the afternoon. As of about two months ago, he started mowing it early in the morning again and keeping me wide awake for an extra 2 hours. He does this once a week. \n\nTo retaliate, I started mowing my lawn at midnight on my days off. I have a Cub Cadet mower with headlights, I crank it wide open and hit the yard. He took exception to it and called the police on me, but theres nothing the police could do about it since I’m not doing anything illegal and there’s no noise ordnance in place. Since then, every Monday night at midnight I’ve made it a point to go mow my yard. \n\nAm I the asshole? He can’t respect my sleep schedule so I chose to not respect his. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0ddf037e23b54605b6c7c9384cc471a7",
|
||
"input": "So. I’m a dude and a photographer (hobby. Not professionally) and I think I do alright and take some good pictures. And a bunch of my friends come to me for advice on pictures (usually girls wanting advice on selfies) which I’m happy to give. It’s usually little tweaks that make everything look better. Sometimes a little editing in photoshop or Lightroom. They get a better pic. I get a little mental exercise in my favorite hobby. Win win. The only thing I ask is that if the photo is a little explicit or lewd or anything. That they ask me permission before the send it for help. Because I have anxiety and random unexpected sexy pics set it off like a match in a gasoline refinery. A vast majority of my friends respect this. But one of my female friends really doesn’t. And she just sends them with no warning or prior conversation most of the time. And asks for help or just to get my opinion. And it makes me really really uncomfortable. Especially if I’m in public. Well this came to a head the other day when she sent six lewd photos rapid fire and asked for help on all of them. And I was just sick of it. I warned her every single time she did this before and explained that it made me uncomfortable but she didn’t care or forgot. I sent her a long paragraph telling her she needs to stop this immediately and she was making me very uncomfortable and making me not want to be her friend and just block her. And she got upset and accused me of being bigoted because she was on the heavier side and I “don’t care when I get photos like this from PRETTY AND THIN girls.” Which is a lie. I get uncomfortable if I’m not asked permission first. Because if I get a warning. I can ready myself and also get my phone to a safe place if I’m in public. But I really feel like a dick now that she’s mad at me. Was I wrong to get upset at her and kinda berate her over text about it? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7def7807daf64aeeba5c8c0911392787",
|
||
"input": "So a couple of months back I discovered this really cute Ukrainian model, she only did like softcore photo shoots and stuff like that but I dont really mind that too much. I found a few galleries of her online and because those get taken down sometimes because of copyright and stuff I saved them on a USB stick. \n\nA few months later I'd kind of forgotten about this and my girlfriend asked me whether I had a USB since she needed one so I gave her mine. Next day she texts me asking why the fuck I have porn with a girl who looks like a fourteen year old. That threw me off but then I remembered what she was talking about. The model in question was actually 22 or so in those shoots though so definitely not underaged. \n\nShe did kind of have a youthful face, I guess, soft, roundish face, small chin and relatively wide midface. So that possibly makes her look a bit young. \n\nI tried to explain it to her how she's actually 22 in those pictures and it's probably subjective if she even looks young. She said that might be true but what does that say about me when I specifically saved pics of a woman because she possibly looks quite young, which I thought was fucked up because she was basically insinuating that I was a hebephile. \n\nI told her I'd get a second opinion on the girls looks and send one of the SFW pictures where she's outside playing with a kitten to a friend asking him what age he thought the girl was. He replied he thought 15 or 14 or so and jokingly, I must add, asked why I was stalking teens on Facebook. When I explained the situation to him he wanted to know the girls name ...\n\nAnyway this didn't really help my case so now my girlfriend basically more or less thinks that I like younger girls even though Im not a hebephile and I didn't look at anything illegal. Am I the asshole for looking at porn with this girl who is completely legal but possibly young looking to some? Also she's not opposed to porn in general, we both look at some.\n\nI posted this on the relationship subreddit yesterday and they basically said I was a creep for looking at this adult woman and that I'm probably into young girls so I'm looking for a second opinion.\n\n\n----------\n\n**tl;dr**: Girlfriend found porn I saved with a girl who she thought looked \"too young\". Now she probably thinks I'm actually into younger girls. Am I in the wrong here? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cc3de0f17c014c2e9616ee0b20b91356",
|
||
"input": "Sitting up front in plus seating row. I pay extra to sit in the aisle plus section. Lady asks me to switch to another plus seat but it's by the window. I say no because I don't like window seating since I'm a big guy (6'3) and don't like how I have a wall to my left. Lady was surprised I didn't move because I figured it was her fault for not planning her flight better. The flight is only 1 hour and the kid beside me is sniffling from not being able to sit with his mom. She is just seated a row in front of him. \n\nI paid the damn cost to sit where I want. I just have an inkling feeling that I may have come off as an asshole. I am writing this as people are boarding the plane.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c37504d0fcc0427f88024eb00237f6ae",
|
||
"input": "This happened this morning while driving my kid to school. \n\nThe crosswalks near the school are all manned by a crossing guard. I've been driving through this intersection for 3 years and have never had an issue before. \n\nI pulled up to the intersection and the crossing guard had the other cross-direction of traffic halted and the pedestrians/students were crossing. I began to drive through the intersection (same direction as the pedestrians crossing with the crossing guard) and a woman walking dogs proceeds in front of my vehicle and then starts yelling at me for going and almost hitting her. I yelled back \"there's a crossing guard you need to follow\" and she yells back \"I'm not part of the school\" like she doesn't need to respect the crossing guard. There are people at all other corners respecting the crossing guard guidance. \n\nWas I wrong in proceeding consistent with the crossing guard or should I have assumed that the lady walking dogs doesn't need to follow the crossing guard and was going to walk out in front of me? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-dbbb6e9fd0124160b1b4b7ce968fae68",
|
||
"input": "Title pretty muchs explains it\n\n​\n\nFor some context we have been dating for about 3 mouths before my birthday, a month before my brithday he asked me what i wanted for my birthday, said i didn't know, he asked again the next day, i said something simple and not too expensive, like some chocolate or cheap jewellary or just surpise me he promised to get me something nice like that. but never did when my birthday rolls around he said that he was so sorry that he didn't get me anything. i understood that he was busy and all and i said i didn't mind if it was a late present. but about a month later there was still nothing, i didn't want to bring it up, as i didn't want to come off as demanding, and i didn't want to come off as a golddigger (which im not) but it was annoying me and bumming me out , i just felt pretty sad as i would of spoiled him on his brithday and he did promise he would get me something, but he didn't and it felt kinda unfair to me. so though texting i steer the topics to birthdays and i (nicely) asked if he was still gonna get me something for my birthday, he said that he was really sorry but he couldn't get me anything because he was busy on the weekend of my birthday, and he said he really regets not getting me anything, i just said that i would of spoiled you on your birthday but you didnt get me anything when you promised you would. i said even even it was a box of chocolates i would been happy. but i get nothing i explain that this annoys/upsets me that i didn't get me anything, he says he will make it up to me, i ask how and he says idk. and says he had to go. \n\n​\n\nthat last conversation was a month ago, we are still together but this still bugs me, am i the asshole for being upset that my bf didn't get me anything, even if he promised he would? or would he be in wrong, or is it a mix of the two?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-8a7f64c385184ed398ab5e470faaaaa5",
|
||
"input": "My mother loves me, she really does but sometimes she does things that piss me off. She gets extremely angry when I explain sometimes things can’t pause or last for longer than an hour. She also frequently deflects the blame for things on to me. Today I tried to talk to her about this but she deflected it on to me and stopped the conversation. I will admit I put things off but far less than she says. I will set up a plan for myself to do things and she will disregard it completely, instead demanding I do things right here right now irrelevant of circumstances. And my own ideas to help myself are constantly taken over by her. AITA for storming off into my room and yelling at her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-0604ab35160b464297e12dcb7a33076a",
|
||
"input": "Last night my friends and I met up for a bit of a party. Everyone had a good time and it was going pretty well.\n\nTowards the end of the night one of my friends got up to leave and drive home.\n\n \n\nNow full disclosure during the night we were all smoking some weed. \n\n \n\nMy friend starting saying it was their choice if they wanted to drive and to mind my own business.\n\n \n\nI tried explaining how it's not just his choice and that if I was to let him drive and endanger himself and others I would hold myself responsible too.\n\nMy friend then went out to his car and started it. I quickly ran out and stood out in front of the car and told him to go inside the house and just crash for a few hours.\n\n \n\nA huge argument started with me repeatedly saying \"You're being stupid\" , \"Just crash for a few hours\" , \"stop being an idiot\"\n\n \n\nHis only real defense was \"it's my decision and you should mind your own business\"\n\n \n\n\nI said \"You're my friend and I can't let you do this, I'll stand out there all night\" to which he replied \"we're not friends\". He squared up to me and was repeatedly hostile and aggressive.\n\n\nI've know this guy over 10 years and would consider him one of my closest friends.\n\n\n \n\nEventually my friends convinced him to go inside and crash. He left early this morning, I wouldn't put it past him to sneak out and drive out of spite but I honestly don't know what time he left.\n\n \n\nI honestly don't know how to move forward with him. He's one of my closest friends but if he can't understand how endangering himself and others is not ok and that he can't \"make his own decisions\" then I'm not sure how I can be his friend.\n\n\n \n\nShould I just let it go? Allow him to do what he wants? Stop being his friend?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-18726cab3c6e472188168d5858cdb162",
|
||
"input": "My parents are always after me for not being disrespectful to them, but when I say that I have a hard time because I don’t feel like they respect me or my ideas, and then get upset about “if you want us to start showing you respect, you gotta start acting worthy of respect?” To me shouldn’t they start being respectful first, as the older more mature people?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-1576462ed68240c2b935451b13345275",
|
||
"input": "Backstory: we have two kids, just into their double digits years, and my ex and I have a 50/50 custody schedule since the separation. 1 week with me, 1 with him.\n\nHis friends are partiers/drinkers. Always have been, but he didn't go out with them much when we were together because they lived out of town. \n\nSince our separation, his two closest friends have moved back to our town again. So my ex is back to partying and drinking with them again.\n\nToday my ex asked that I have the kids this Friday because another friend is coming into town and the guys are all going out drinking. My response was that I'd like to keep our weekend's with the kids consistent. So, I didn't tell him no, but honestly I think he shouldn't ask me to have the kids so he can go out drinking with his buddies. It's his week with the kids, after all. Anyway, his response made it clear that he's mad that I didn't agree. \n\nSo, am I the asshole here? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f31ed327f0d14fa68e3234dc22671497",
|
||
"input": "So, typically on Friday nights me and my friend (well call him J) will meet up at our friends house (well call him H) and find something to get into. Last Friday, around 1pm, we get the expected “you guys coming over?” text from H. J and I respond saying we will around 8pm when H gets off work. \n\nAround 6pm, another friend tells us he has a bunch of free tickets to a local show. Naturally J and I say we wanna go. So we text H and tell him about the show, thinking he’d wanna go. H replies, saying he doesn’t want to. After some discussion, J and I decide we’re going anyway. So we text H that we’re going, and obviously he is more than welcome to come. The show didn’t start until after he got off at 8, so we could still meet up and go to the show. \n\nTo our surprise, H starts blowing up our phones with some pretty shitty messages. I’ll spare the more intense parts, but he essentially said he doesn’t wanna hangout with us again. We apologized, and went on with our night. He hasn’t spoken to us since.\n\n\nI feel it’s important to note that there have been several occasions when H wanted to do something, and J and I bit the bullet and did whatever H wanted to do, because yaknow that’s just kinda what friends do. \n\nSo AITA? \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-424f120e02e64f4998e27df4490d68b5",
|
||
"input": "He’s like the brother of a friend, and when I hang out with these group of people he’s there. He’s not one of my friends and I don’t have his contact. \n\nMe and the girl (they broke up like a week ago) have kind of been flirting on Snapchat. \n\nI told her that maybe we should hang out soon and she said maybe we should. \n\nHe’s not my friend, but if other people see me dating her they’ll be like wtf I think. \n\nAm I the asshole. Do they have a right to be mad at me if I date her? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f79174f19a57498dbc74da81b077120e",
|
||
"input": "It's currently 7am and the kids don't start school till 8:30. They've been up since 5 running around and from what I can tell banging the wall with a hammer. I'm house sitting for my mother right now and I'm aware that she's told the parents to control their kids before. WIBTA for going over there and asking to be quiet while my girlfriend sleeps? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fcc019d40ad6497f89a74aced45997d1",
|
||
"input": "It just doesn’t sit well with me that she went back to her old fwb. she was doing this with him right up until we met. \n\nAITA for feeling like she was doing things with him during our relationship?\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-467bce8f0c184450b93a29c0355cd123",
|
||
"input": "Togetherness. Good.\n\nBeing thankful. Good.\n\nPeople buying me random crap that I'm then obligated to fawn over like I'm really happy to have it despite it being just clutter and just over indulgent commercialism.\n\nI know I am probably, and do feel like I'm an asshole. I feel like people getting me these things mostly just shows how little they really know. They try, but they aren't me. I guess I'm just a picky asshole, I'd rather get something I specifically need or want rather then have people waste money on things I'll just end up throwing out. Which then ends up in landfill. Maybe it's the lack of agency or the obligation that bothers me?\n\nI think not getting presents would bother me less. Is this really fucked up?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c6f98d80a9e64998a0b94195bf1c4e3b",
|
||
"input": "I've been told it is a rehotirc question that I should know the answer to, but I feel that I have at least some reasoning.\n\nShe works a somewhat graveyard shift but is home by 1am. We have a small child that wakes up early (what child doesnt). I work a regular 7am-4pm job so my days start at 5:30am and I'm usually up with the child around 6:30/7am on weekends. She has 3 days off each week and is with the child 2 days while we are both off one weekend day. She just enrolled in online school as well to help us in the long run and I fully support it.\n\nBut, sometimes I feel she should help in doing the end of the day routine with our child. I pick up the little one after work 3 days of the week and handle the feeding, bathing and bedtime for those 3 days, but I do it 4 days since she works one weekend day so I do it 4 days a week.\n\nAm I out of line for expressing an expectation that for the 3 days shes off she should handle the feeding, bathing and putting the kid to bed since I handle it the other 4 days? \n\nSome background info, I usually cook dinner each day during the week which doubles as lunches for both of us so I am usually making her lunches each week. I also did online school last year and was still making dinners for us and still going to work during the week. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-eac4ea06a2ea4fa1a2d3cdc4fee5ea32",
|
||
"input": " I am a person who tries to follow the rules as best I can, though I am not perfect, but my brothers would not. My brothers would break the rules all the time such as playing their phone in the car. At first my parents would get after them, but then told me to mind my own business. It eventually came to the point where I could not tell on them on anything less I get in trouble. They began to take advantage of this and when I tried to whisper to them to get off they would say mind your own business and even call me a rule nazi. My parents then began to tell me that this is for the relationship with my brothers and I said that what are the point of rules if they are broken all the time. Am I the Asshole ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b4864e134c244d5f903d52adfc950a78",
|
||
"input": "Let me explain: For Thanksgiving (2018) my calculus teacher assigned us to make a thank you letter to our parents that would be mailed to them on exactly Thanksgiving. My parents just got divorced, and are currently living at separate addresses. I wrote two pages to my dad about how much he’s taught me, how I’m who I am to him, everything you would expect. I had some friends and even my favorite teachers to read over it to make sure it was perfect, and I ended up making My english and anatomy teacher well up, along with a few classmates cry. I poured my absolute heart into this letter. I turned it in with confidence that I said what I wanted my dad to know. After all, I love him to death.\n\nHere’s the problem: I didn’t write anything for my mom. I didn’t want to. I couldn’t stretch to write a paragraph, much less a page. I wouldn’t budge to fake it, or write some generic garbage as a nice gesture. I don’t know if it was bitterness, spite, or just negative parts of our relationship taking focus of anything I was thankful for.\n\n My dad received his letter Thanksgiving day, and he loved it. He asked if he could show his friends how great his son was and whatnot. My mom didn’t get anything that day. To be fair, she doesn’t even know about the letter and she doesn’t know that I couldn’t write half a page of nice things about her. However, she loves me and I don’t think It’s fair that I silently resent her. I feel like I’m the only one in the family that she really has right now, and she probably needs someone to love her right now.\n\nAITA?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-62fcd90d05914a21af4a1b75760ca9c9",
|
||
"input": "My 31st birthday was Saturday. My family stopped celebrating birthdays when I was in elementary school; we would receive a gift and be told happy birthday but there was no party or cake or anything like that. So I have tried to work on my birthday every year since I turned 14.\nI have been married for 7 years and my husband and his family celebrate birthdays like normal people. I have never asked to do anything for my birthday or even ask for a gift but they always get me gifts and usually want to go for dinner if we can. This year I asked to go to lunch and the movies with my husband. I also worked up the courage to finally ask for a couple things that I've been wanting. My husband decided we were going to celebrate our anniversary on my birthday (he had to work on our anniversary weekend). I decided it wasn't that big of a deal and went with it. My birthday started nice but the further the day went the more depressed I got. My mom wished me a happy birthday when I called her the day before my birthday so she wouldn't have to call me on my birthday. One of my sisters posted a video of her kids saying happy birthday on Facebook but didn't call or text me. My oldest sister never contacted me and the rest of my family didn't either (even though my cousin liked my sister's Facebook post). I asked my husband if he got me anything and he responded \"you said you didn't want anything\" (I specifically asked him for a couple things). When we got home my MIL gave my an envelope. I started getting a little excited but when I opened it it was just a couple pictures for my son to color. \nI cried myself to sleep the past 2 nights and I have felt so depressed. I started getting angry and lashing out at my husband. I feel like my birth is nothing to celebrate.\nI told him today that I don't want to celebrate mother's day, I don't want any gifts on Christmas, valentine's day, or our anniversary, and I don't ever want anybody to acknowledge my birthday ever again. I can't be disappointed if I know I'm not getting anything and I don't celebrate. He seems mad at me and now I feel like I'm overreacting but I still want to cry whenever I think about it. AITA here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-983012cea7574d92b15f30c259c54a56",
|
||
"input": "Firstly I'm on mobile so sorry for the format and secondly they will probably be some spelling errors sorry.\n\nEvery year I get around 5-6 night outs a year so I tend use them sparingly. \nLast night 3 of my friends (we'll call them F, K and JD) were hosting a party half way across the country from me so traveling was already a long process especially with British trains. \nI get there and it's going well till one of my friends ( J) messages me, a few weeks ago her and another friend (E) had broken up but still lived together and E had taken Js sleeping bag that morning so she wouldnt come, bit of a dick move but ok we have spare blankets. \n\nThen they arrive and all night E was glaring at J, she couldn't sit next to someone without an issue. The mood was ruined completely around 10 when E just stared verbally ripping into J making her run into a different room. \n\nE explained her reason for it ( mainly it had been 3 weeks since they broke up, how dare J be 'cuddling' others in front of her, J wasn't of meant to come that night anyway, and Js aplogise for growing apart wasn't good enough) it was pretty tense and that's when someone from the other room (kat) came to get J a drink. And E forbid it! Saying J should only have coke becasue E didn't want her drinking. \n\nI left the room and headed to the other, stressed as hell. I explain to K and F that E won't let Kat bring J some rum, J gets mad and tries to go sort it out. We stop her and then Kat comes in and passes just the coke then goes to get E some crisp BUT then J butts in to say E shouldnt be eatting if she's upset. \n\nIt was a shit show. Everyone was done\n\nLater Kat threw up, K and JD had to clean it up. F was staring off into space. E was still going on about J and J was staying away. \nWe got Kat home and tried to calm everyone down. At around 3 I left K and F to sleep and headed for the couch where I found E, JD and JDs girlfriend still going on about the drama. I had to be up at 10 for a train. JD and her girlfriend have their own room. Only E is sleeping in the living room with me. I told them calmly I need to sleep, I had a train but they just kept going on and on.\n\nAt least use the hall way. JD went to bed at 4am, now pissed off because her girlfriend was more interested in E than helping her get J on the floor so she could get into her bed. J slept on the floor. \n\nJDs girlfriend finally went to bed at 5am and I was livid. I turned off the light went to sleep and.... was woken up every hour by E sleep talking/crying. \n\nMorning comes and I go to get dressed but the room my bags in is locked because K had a lecture. Ok. He'll be back in an hour to open the door I can just catch the next train I think. \n\nF wakes up and opens it instead and the guy looks like hell. He didn't sleep well thanks to the stress.\nI get dressed and decide I'll get the 1:41 train.. that doesn't happen \n\nF gets dressed, K gets home. JD wakes up and E has been walking around for an hour. \n\nMe, F, and K clean while E does jack shit. J gets up and also doesnt help. I need to leave now to catch my train but neither K or F can help me get to the train station till everyone is ready to go and time is ticking on. \n\nI say at least 10 times that I need to leave. K and F also say the same but apparently YouTube is more important. \n\nFinally F decides I should get a taxi to the station and say my good byes. Still pretty pissed off I bring up that I would of preferred no drama and a good amount of sleep and E and J go \" dont look at use like that.\" In pure defence like I'm the one in the wrong so I tell them again that I very rarely have the time to go out which really upsets them and the others. I didn't say it in a cruel way all i said was \"I came here to relax and hang out not deal with more unneeded stress. I also really need to leave\"\n\nI got on the train at almost 4. I won't get home till 7. My mother is end stage COPD and needs me there. I promised id get home early. They all know this. \n\nI rang someone who couldn't make it to the party and told them why i angry and they said I should look at it from Es point of view more. \nWhen I told them it looked like it could of turned violent and I was worried for Js safety I was told I shouldn't say that and I sound like a dick. \n\nAnd then on the train I messaged K and asked if anyone was upset with what I said, he told me yes and \n\"I think everyone was annoyed and just doesn't really want to talk about it maybe?\" \n\nNow i feel like the asshole for being upset over everything. \n\nMaybe I really should of took E perspective into account more? Maybe I shouldn't be so angry I'm getting home so late? Am I the asshole for speaking my mind in this case? \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ea22b2ce61404f4b92624d0cbfc0cf09",
|
||
"input": "My girlfriend isn’t the most organized. She’s absolutely brilliant, she is one hell of a hard worker, and she makes my heart so happy, but she is very messy.\n\nI’ve helped her clean her room to pristine condition two previous times, and told her that if she let it get to the way it was again I wouldn’t help her, and she promised to keep it clean the second time. I don’t want to help her now because I don’t want to waste time doing something she’s going to allow to go back to the way it used to be. \n\nSo, AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c3d82df5155340248dda5ade3c1e00ff",
|
||
"input": "This is kind of piggy-backing on the locked thread from the other day of the guy whose fiance won't eat his cooking.\n\n[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/af3x7l/aita\\_for\\_being\\_upset\\_when\\_my\\_fiance\\_wont\\_eat\\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/af3x7l/aita_for_being_upset_when_my_fiance_wont_eat_my/)\n\n​\n\nMy case is slightly different, so I really don't know if I'm the problem here or not. We've been married about 8 years. More importantly, I don't know what perspective is the healthiest to take on this.\n\n​\n\nExample: tonight, my wife (47), mother-in-law, son (5) and I (45) are getting ready to have dinner. Like the previous poster, I do enjoy cooking; I like to experiment and hate using recipes. Sometimes, I lose- big time, but usually, I can do a pretty good job of making something delicious and healthy.\n\n​\n\nAnyway, about a year ago, my son (5yr) was diagnosed Celiac, and about 6 months after, I figured out that my 30 year gut problem is an IBS caused by onion, garlic, and all kinds of other foods containing fructans. Those foods containing gluten (a protein) also have these fructans (a sugar), so wheat, barley, rye- my son and I both get hit. \n\n​\n\nI don't think my problem goes beyond serious, explosive, burning, toilet discomfort for a couple days, but my son truly will have problems if he ingests more than a sugar packet's worth of gluten in a year (put your knife in peanut butter, wipe it on your 'regular' bread, go back to the peanut butter jar with the knife, guess what's now in the peanut butter- whatever kind of bread you spread it on next).\n\n​\n\nAnyway, as soon as I found out about my son's celiac, I cleaned the house of gluten. Anything remotely suspect, I put in boxes intending to give away. Wife came home; within an hour most everything was back on the shelves. Perhaps I over-reacted, I'm not sure.\n\n​\n\nFast forward about 8 months. We now often just prepare three meals for dinner. My son, being five, well he'd likely get his own meal in any case, not just because the gluten thing, but also, he's five.\n\n​\n\nMy wife though, she insists on buying both regular and gluten-free, well just about everything. So, we have gluten, and gluten-free peanut butter, gluten and gluten-free butter, gluten and gluten-free breads. Still gotta use the same toaster and all though. She made pizzas the other day using her bread-maker. One gluten-free pizza for the boy and I, a 'regular' one for her and our guests. Using the same bread-maker she'd been using for years. A sugar packet's worth of the gluten molecule, remember. But maybe I'm over-reacting.\n\n​\n\nAnyway- things are settling to where I cook meals and my wife does dishes/cleanup (I hate dishes- hate it- and I do it 'wrong' anyway too often). She'll still make meals occasionally too.\n\n​\n\nNow, my wife has a thing with beef- I can't pin down her reason though, because it often changes. For years, the reason was that cows produce methane, take up too many resources, bad for environment, etc. But then I pointed out her milk drinking habit, and the fact that there were more buffalo in North America before the slaughter than there are cows now, and that they share a similar physiology, etc. So now her reason seems to have switched to that it 'makes her feel bad'. Though I still hear the environmental piece from time to time. She has no problem with other meats- birds, pigs, fish, not much a fan of lamb or goat though.\n\n​\n\nBut she'll eat the beef pot pies her mother makes. And she'll eat beef other times at her parents' house, or at other's houses.\n\n​\n\nSo tonight, I go to make dinner for myself, my wife and my mother-in-law. I decided to season some ground bison (having this onion/garlic thing, I've got to create all my own seasonings from scratch- EVERY seasoning mix has onion or garlic powder). Then I put it over rice and made a tomato-cucumber-corn salsa to put over top of that (because, again- I defy you to go find a salsa without onions or garlic).\n\n​\n\nAnd it's good- it's really, really good. But my wife won't have any of it. Because I used the bison ground beef. She said last time she tried it, she had too much and it made her feel bad. So instead, we just get in each other's way in our cramped kitchen while she prepares an entirely different meal using nothing I had prepared tonight except the rice. The meal she decided to have was my leftover veal-tomato-sweet potato crock pot disaster that I don't intend to have another bite of myself, I'm so disappointed with it.\n\n​\n\nIn any case, when the meal was over, my mother-in-law said, 'Thanks, that was good.'. And I said, 'Thanks, I'm glad somebody enjoyed it.\" My wife said, \"You didn't like it?\" I said, \"No, it was great!\". She again said something about how last time she tried the bison she, 'Didn't feel good'. Then she proceeds to take another bite of the vegetables she'd picked out of the crock pot veal leftovers. Knowing full well that veal is cow.\n\n​\n\nThis kind of behavior, is regular. When she makes me salads with the bitter, yucky plant leaves I just don't like, I eat them. I might complain a little, but I don't just make my own meal instead.\n\n​\n\nSo folks, AITA for sitting here feeling bad because I live in a family that has to have three separate meals on a regular basis? Is this any different than the previous poster's situation with his fiance? Should I do more to cater to her choices of food items, when my son and I have diagnosed medical problems associated with foods that she refuses to adapt her own eating and grocery habits to?\n\n​\n\nPlease ask for clarifications if you need them- I'm not looking for validation here- I really don't know if I'm an asshole or not.\n\n​\n\nTL:DR- Wife prefers not to eat beef. I make family meals and will use bison or beef (usually bison if I can find it) maybe once a week or every other week, but my wife won't eat it and just makes her own meal instead. My son and I have diagnosed/medical food issues, but she brings the offending foods home anyway. AITA?\n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-13c6126e62254f65b9153e3cff032f61",
|
||
"input": "So for context: I am 25 years old male and live in Germany. I met my friend (24, male (let's call him Brian)) at school in 2010 and we've been hanging out together regularly ever since. I would pretty much consider myself as a very emotional, caring person.\n\n​\n\nSo basically, everything was great until we got our A-Levels. We would still hang out a lot but it wasn't like the time we've been hanging out at school. \n\n​\n\nWe got into lots of arguments, as most of people in friendships do, which is very normal to me. I always approached him with what I didn't like and vice versa. The problem here is that I was always trying my best to not hurt him and avoid the things that would annoy him. He wouldn't do the same for me. He would try to provoke me every now and then even though he knew that certain things hurt me. I confronted him with this and he said that he's sorry and that he would stop it. He didn't. I learned to ignore it so it was fine after a while. \n\n\nHe told me, that he really wanted to try weed at one point. I said that it's his decision but I advised him to thoroughly consider trying it in first place but also be careful where to get it from. So, one day he would invite 2 friends he met on the internet via online gaming to a sleepover LAN party. I got invited but I didn't really want to go at that point. So at the day, I was with another friend and he said 'How's Brian doing and I said that he was fine. He really wanted to see Brian so we called and asked if it was fine when we joined and he said he'd love us to come over.\n\n​\n\nWe arrive there and he's wasted af. The other 2 guys are listening to music VERY loudly while he is there lying on the couch looking really horrible. I'm concerned about him and ask what happened. He tells me that he tried weed and he feels miserable. After finding out that he hadn't eaten anything that day I decide to go to the kitchen and cook something for him as the other guys seemingly don't care. After that, I tell him to rest and the other guys to be quieter so that he can rest. We haven't talked about this day ever since, he didn't even say thanks for being there for me or anything like that. \n\n\nOne day, I asked him about doing sports together. He is a good looking, athletic guy while I am overweight and have anxiety issues. I told him that it would boost my motivation if he went to the gym with me. He said that he didn't like gyms that much and didn't want to go. That was completely fine by me as I can't force anyone into anything.\n\n​\n\nFast forward, we would meet with 2 other guys (also met via online gaming) and have a nice time together. One of them proceeds to ask Brian if he wanted to join them doing sports at the gym and Brian immediately says yes. I'm obviously a little confused because our conversation about gyms was not that long ago. He looks me in the eye while agreeing and doesn't even ask me if I wanted to join as well. I'm really hurt but manage to forget it. \n\n\nRecently, I asked him about something I wanted to buy and he told me that he knows someone who would get discounts and that he could ask them if I want. I agree. After one week of messaging him and him leaving my messages on read but not answering I decide to tell him that I don't want the discount anymore.\n\n​\n\nI'm really pissed because of the fact that all the time it was me trying to keep the friendship alive and to maintain contact. He would never message me on his own. All the times I confronted him with things that go wrong he would always reply with the same things, almost like a playback. I felt replaced. \n\n\nSo, at the end of the day, I decided that I would act like him and not contact him anymore.\n\n​\n\nAm I the Asshole because I can't take this shit anymore and don't want to be hurt anymore?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-15136f8705e04fdeb4bfe72fc104f1a5",
|
||
"input": "Just found out about a week ago my SO has had me muted on social media and messaging apps and It made me very upset about it and my SO thinks i shouldn't be upset. My SO also gets upset if I ask if I'm muted on anything else or remuted. I'm not a spam texter and hardly double text either.\nAITA for being mad and upset about this",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a9a71c6523ba461685bb9a6b6738dde7",
|
||
"input": "She started trying to roast me and call me gay and some other things, I called her fat and some other things. I found out later she cried in the locker room",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c8f8e395cbec449e92285fe19a867585",
|
||
"input": "So I'm sitting at an airport bar with my partner, waiting for a flight, and there's a long line of like 6 two seater tables alone the window. My partner and I were at the end one, and this couple comes in sits at the table right next to us. Our backs are facing each other and hers is rubbing on mine. I can feel it's heat and its shaking etc when she laughs. I'm not digging it. \n\nMy partner reckons I'm the asshole for not scooting my chair in further to allow her more space (I was taking up about 60% of the space between the two chairs) I'm stubborn I guess, because I just wanted her to sit somewhere else and I was trying to make a point by slightly passively aggressively accepting her back to back contact and not moving. \n\nSo, am I an asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-54b6f213c9ad47e99fa2a52a4bb52e65",
|
||
"input": "It sounds horrible but it wasn't that bad. I didn't necessarily call her an attention whore, I told her to stop acting like one. She has some friends that are extremely into politics. I just find them stupid and ignorant. Politics is all about making one group of people seem worse than your group of people. It's so annoying, she always tries to be someone else while with them. I know her well enough to know she is apolitical like me so seeing her try to act like she's into it and going to protest is so insufferable.\n\nHer friends came over and she started trying to make this \"rant\" about college bias'. I just couldn't handle it and I cut her off midway to tell her to stop being like her stupid friends and that I know she isn't like that so she needs to stop acting like an attention whore. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9aa024dd132a45bca8d90c7728406610",
|
||
"input": "So I'm a junior in JROTC and I went to a community service for setting up and helping a local 5k-10k run. After we had set up the over-all CO (Commanding Officer) who is the instructor in charge of the program at my school said that if we brought money we could go get breakfast at the nearby diner. I brought 2 cadets with me, we sat down, and ordered our food when the student NCO-IC (Basically the student 2nd in command of the event) told us to have intervals with one of us getting food, while the others did our jobs (which was passing out water to the finished runners, but the run hadn't even began. I said it was BS but I'd do it. I waited, our food arrived, and I went to go get the other 2. The NCO-IC and the O-IC (essentially student 1st in command of the event) told me to wait while the other 2 got food, I actually called that BS and went to go do my job, I passed the CO and asked him about it and he said it was illogical, I should go get food. I told the NCO-IC and the O-IC and they were pissed because I didn't inform them that I was going to the CO, violating the chain of command. I technically did do this by not informing them, but I went up it as I was supposed to. Anyways I got my food, which the 'ICs complained I didn't get to go and got back, and started my job with a few minutes to spare. \n\nIt's long and confusing if you were never in JROTC but comment if you have any questions.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-79376630c68f48c7b1a1a7c9b7f4f4d6",
|
||
"input": "Of course, this isn't a regular occurrence. But whenever I see money on the ground it's going straight in my pocket, no second thoughts. Finders keepers, right? One of my mates is a real hard-core ethical type and he says it's wrong. So, I figure I'd make a quick throwaway post to settle it - AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fedf267eeea44c19a11b09edf7d83170",
|
||
"input": "He said he needed $150 because he recently organised a trip and was a bit short because of other expenses etc. \n\nI have just over $1000 saved up in emergency funds, so it wouldnt be an issue but I have never lent him a big amount of money before. Ive known him for 4 years and he always drops me to and from work, free of charge, so this is why I feel like I am TA right now. I feel kind of guilty. Whenever people ask me for money, I feel bad for saying no.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-344d47f51f8b4101bfe0d9f24090ef86",
|
||
"input": "I am doing summer school at my college so I cannot go back to my home town. The place I live closes over the summer, but luckily I have some good friends that have an apartment. There are 4 of them, none of which will be living there this summer. I need to ask them to stay over the summer (which they will say yes to), but should I offer a portion of the rent? Keep in mind I am a (very) broke college student, but I don’t want to take advantage of them. Any thoughts? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-5b1f9d088d18484bb61bf06f778c141c",
|
||
"input": "So my gf and I have our own apartment and we live in a state where it can drop to single digits in temperature. My gfs brother use to have his own apartment with his gf until they started having problems in which they broke up and bailed on their apartment. Both of them owe the apartment over 2k in rent and fees. So then he moved in with a family friend under the circumstances he turned his life around and save up for a new place to live. He stayed there for a few months doing nothing but working and doing drugs. Eventually he got kicked out. So now he lives in his car with his cat he refuses to get rid of. Poor cat stays locked in the car all day =(. Anyways, my gf asked if he could stay the night with us. Hes is a huge druggie and has zero drive to do anything and is ungrateful/liar. I told her no. \n\nAm I the asshole for refusing to let my gfs druggie brother stay with us while he lives in a car in a state that reaches single digit temps?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c7b2d39d3a1040e7b0ed009e3db55b29",
|
||
"input": "Last summer the administration at my university decided to do something about the stray dog menace in my campus. They chased out all the dogs they could and took away some more to be put down. There was a lot of backlash from the students over this decision and the administration had to stop this. But I personally think this had to be done since these dogs caused a lot of cleanliness and hygiene issues. I had nothing to do with the decision but I feel the administration was justified in this. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a21bbc421cbd4542a6bb5b21dbe2cbb9",
|
||
"input": "Right, I know it's a bit of a weird situation but I know that I have quite beautiful feet. It's a bit of an annoying part of me to be beautiful, but such is life lol. So I recently found out people pay online for feet pictures and I thought why not, because it's not like normal pictures like that where it could actually like affect me\n\nI haven't actually done it yet, because I feel as though it might greatly upset my partner. I don't think I'd normally worry about this, but my partner actually has a thing for feet which is why i think he may get somewhat saddened or insecure about me doing this\n\nSo, WIBTA if I were to do it, and would I be less of an asshole to tell him or to not tell him",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a489520bbcf8474a9439f58a8bb3e0fa",
|
||
"input": "So there’s this video game which I love. I’ve been playing it with my boyfriend since 2011 and it’s essentially been the backbone of our relationship and we’ve been together for over 10 years. I have countless great memories of me and him playing this game together, and I’d be playing it with him right now if I could. I moved out on my own for the first time a year ago, and it means I do not have any spare money, and certainly not enough to ever be able to afford a new laptop in the near future at all in order to play. As I’m typing this I hear the propane delivery truck outside and I already know there’s a 200$ bill stuck to my door. Since over a year since I’ve been able to play there been tons of new updates and whatnot, and I miss the game badly but there’s not really anything I can do. \n\nMe and my boyfriend have been playing Xbox games together since I do have a functioning Xbox. He has a functioning computer unlike myself so he technically can play the game i miss, but he doesn’t without me, and he doesn’t talk about it because there’s no point. We simply just have to wait however many years it takes for me to be financially secure enough in able to afford a gaming laptop ( or just one of any kind ) and he’s patient and nice about it. My best friend also use to play this game with me, and recently she decided to reinstall the game and play. I have no problem with that, all I did was simply as her if she could not talk about it with me as it saddens me I can’t play anymore, but she’s decided to be rude and sarcastic about it, taking my request in the wrong way. Specifically, I asked her the first time to please not talk about it as it upsets me. She decided she didn’t care and continued, so I got angry and was more stern this time. Now she’s being sarcastic about it and calling it “the game which should not be mentioned” to be a dick.... \n\nTLDR: I asked my friend not to rub in my face I can’t play a game and haven’t been able to in years, and she doesn’t care and keeps mentioning it. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b93e1b7930bf49ceaa982bbc7c3da558",
|
||
"input": "I'm not much for the whole giving people shit for fun thing. It irritates me, and I don't care to participate. I expect my friends to understand that and leave me out of it or I walk. I'll volley back once or twice, but if it goes beyond three times, I cut that shit off.\n\nI understand other guys do this, but I don't give af. AITA for expecting others to understand that? I don't think so, but I want to know what others think.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fce043066e714f8fb0b112bf63fc3b30",
|
||
"input": "I live with my best friend (let’s call her Stephanie) and her now fiancé (I’ll call him dave) , I pay rent for a room in the house they own together. Both enjoy having me there and in general the arrangement works out well.\n\nThey both earn more than 3 x what I do, if this matters.\n\nThey got engaged in July and I was asked to be a bridesmaid. I was very excited, and as this is my best friend of ten ish years I couldn’t imagine not being a part of their wedding. The groom and I are also good friends due to being housemates, we are almost like a little family.\n\nI do not like Stephanie’s friends. They are mean and shallow and materialistic and when I hang out with them I feel bad. I have a history of mental health issues if this matters - a big part of my road to recovery was understanding when I hung out with certain people, I would feel bad afterwards. My mental health has greatly improved since I stopped hanging out with this group of girls three or so years ago. I kept the friendships that didn’t make me feel bad - such as Stephanie.\n\nI enthusiastically agreed the hen do would be great and not to worry about me not liking the other girls going - I could be civil for a few days to celebrate my best friends wedding.\n\nStephanie’s sister and some of the girls going organised the hen do in secret, wanting Stephanie to be surprised. Three days ago I received a text from this group asking for £350 by Saturday (tomorrow) - and that if I couldn’t afford it Stephanie’s mother would pay my share and I could pay her back £60 a month. The hen do will be a holiday to The south of france for four days, staying in a luxury villa/mansion, with a wine tour, a night out and a dinner. The £350 only covers flights and accommodation and will be in June next year.\n\nI do not have £350, I do not have £60 a month spare. I am on a debt management plan and my car broke two months ago, meaning I had to borrow money from an uncle and agree to pay him back £55 a month for three years. This was already a financial stress to me as I try to pay off my debt. I have been paying it off for three years and would have been debt free in a years time, but will be paying my uncle back for some years now. I don’t buy clothes, I don’t go out for dinners, I don’t get my hair and nails done. I am sensible with my money.\n\nI approached Stephanie and Dave (he just happened to be there) - I said I was embarrassed about being offered to pay her mother back as they obviously know I can’t afford the hen do, and that I just didn’t know how I was going to afford to go.\n\nDave said it was disgusting of any friend, especially a bridesmaid, not to go to a hen party. He said he would go into debt or borrow money or “sell a limb” to be there for a friend. Stephanie said I was “being negative” that I would “upset her mum who offered to pay to be nice” and that I’m “ruining something she has dreamed of since she was a little girl”\n\n\nI laid awake that night for hours trying to think of what I could sacrifice so that I will have an extra £60 a month for this hen do. I feel awkward and uncomfortable living with people who want me to go into debt for their benefit, but can’t find anywhere else to live that I can afford, though I’ll keep looking. My anxiety is through the roof at the concept I’ll be in more debt if I go.\n\nAITA if I say I just can’t afford it and I’m not going? Even though they let me live in their home and have offered me a payment plan? I don’t want to hurt my finances but I don’t want to be an ungrateful cow of a friend. I was expecting the whole thing to cost around £200, which I probably could have squeezed. reddit, be brutal. Am I a tight fisted ungrateful asshole here?? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d929834a7a8e45ae9426457aca07e5a8",
|
||
"input": "AITA for this? This relationship was over a year ago at this point; but sometimes this question still bothers me. At one point my ex did have my password but I changed it after she blew up after a misunderstanding and refused to accept my apologies for multiple days afterwards despite admitting she knew I did nothing wrong. The misunderstanding was her accusing me of cheating after she saw me calling a female friend gorgeous. I reasoned with her saying it makes no sense for her to keep me from complimenting friends platonically (even female) considering she was bisexual and also complimented her friends. She agreed with this logic and I suggested until she minds that less maybe she should stay off my Facebook. I triple checked this was OK with her and she continued to agree. After this she continuously attempted to look over my shoulder or get my password in other ways; I continued to tell her all she had to do was ask for it back. I figured if we wanted to avoid drama she should wait until she's honest about herself being OK with me giving platonic compliments towards friends. She could've asked to look at my phone or even for my password any time she wanted and I would've let her at that second. I don't/didn't have shit to hide; I just knew it would cause drama if anything threw her off. AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-449215a170f14cb8bd5500eb13730ef7",
|
||
"input": "I went out the to college bar part of town with my boyfriend. He has a really bad history of getting drunk and yelling at me, but I was determined to have a good time. \n\nAfter the second bar, where we got kicked out because his friend was too drunk, we were trying to figure out what to do next. We were on the street in front of the other bar we wanted to go to. \n\nMy boyfriend, 29M, was trying to get the attention of a girl he apparently knew. Which he was successful at, and when she realized it was him, she hopped up into his arms, wrapped her legs around him, and held him for probably 15 seconds. Afterward she introduced herself to me, and she said o hi, and went back to talking right next to his face, as if we were in the club. But we were outside, away from the club. \n\nI got super uncomfortable and decided it was time I went home, so I opened the uber app and walked away, I was planning on just peacing out. But my boyfriend and his friend ran up and started saying “this is just who she is”, which I said was fine but I was uncomfortable with my boyfriend being fine with holding her up while she straddled him... I started crying here so I walked away. \n\nMy boyfriend followed me yelling at me about “what was he supposed to do, drop her???”. Him yelling made me cry more so I just ditched everyone and caught an uber. I’m at a calmer bar now, but I’m just wondering, am I in the wrong here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-050753619e664fa08b6b7fe7a5d0dac6",
|
||
"input": "I'll start by mentioning that my (21F) sister (22F) has been diagnosed as bi polar and has borderline personality disorder. She's actively bashing on my mom because my sister used her credit card to buy 10 bras, and my mom asked her for money back. My sister refused and started saying \"Fuck you\" over and over and telling my mom that she can't live here anymore. That's when my mom said \"No actually, this is my house and I can be here anytime I want\". This made my sister *furious*. This happened a couple days ago.\n\nSo currently my sister is still being a brat to my mom and saying \"Fuck you\" and sticking the middle finger up at her which is making me upset because I love my mom and she honestly doesn't deserve any of this.\n\nAnyway, we're ordering sushi for dinner tonight & my sister hasn’t spoken to my mom all day (besides just giving her the finger). My mom was originally going to pay for dinner so she asked my sister what she wanted to order & my sister told her 2 spicy scallops rolls (the most expensive thing) and rolled her eyes as she said it. This was also the first thing she said to my mom that wasn't \"Fuck you\" in 3 days.\n\nSo because I’m pissed about this and since my mom isn’t ordering anything, I told my mom that I’d just get sushi for myself and pay by myself and not get my sister anything since she’s being so rude and ungrateful. My mom said no and that she’d pay since she already asked and wanted to keep the peace. \n\nI compromised with my mom and said I’ll get my sister one roll instead of 2 and I’ll pay for it myself. I told my sister that I’m paying for it so I’m only getting her one roll and her attitude completely changed. That's when she was like,\n\n\"Oh OP that’s so nice and thoughtful! Thank you!\"\n\n\"Don’t thank me, I didn’t want to get you anything. Mom told me to so you should thank her.\"\n\nIt felt good saying it but I heard her mutter \"that hurts...\" under her breath a few seconds after I told her that so now I’m second guessing what I said.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-be7dda212acd4f1a99e39ca4ab165d81",
|
||
"input": "Wondering if AITA and also need some advice. My girlfriend and I met at work (psych unit in bigger hospital) she was a student on a clinical. We started dating after she had finished her clinical. Fast forward few months, she applied for and got a job on the unit I worked on. Because it was different shifts and my old role required travel we rarely saw each other. Fast forward to now (at this point now dating 1.5 years) I tried out for US Navy and got medically DQ'd at basic (still dating GF). Came back and basically told all my former employers what happened and that I'm looking for work. The unit my GF works on (where I used to work) immediately told me they would hire me back, only this time we would work similar shifts and roles(so likely work together closely). I really want to take this position over other offers I have as I love the unit, the management is great, and the colleagues are amazing. It's also much safer than other hospitals I have worked at (I've always worked in psychiatric care and this is the best workplace I have had). I was very forward with management about relationship and they said HR okayed us working together and they are cool with it because of my good work history there and professionalism. Only my GF doesn't want me to work there, she says she feels this way because she doesn't want to mix her personal/professional life, she feels it's \"her workspace\" now, and is worried about other coworkers talking about us/watching us under a microscope. Am I the asshole for taking this job despite my GF not wanting me to?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7efd45b6a5c74e909cf3f7a51de30d97",
|
||
"input": "I had liked someone in 4th grade (i consider myself pretty mature ok) who I confessed to and later got friendzoned, which was a reasonable reaction. This relationship lasted 3 years. In 6th grade, she got type 2 diabetes, which I accepted and still loved her. In the same year, she said that she liked another boy (who coincidentally shared the same name as me) and I was shattered. I got pretty pissed but didn't show it to her. Later on, she so called \"discovered\" that she was LGBT. That was the last straw for me. I got super pissed because she would not ever say \"thank you\" or anything that was positive for me. I still had loved her for three years, and she decided that she was LGBT. She eventually broke ties with me and we occasionally have the obligatory \"fuck you\" every other month or so. AITA for trying so hard to get her?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6a065328e2c04c3fb300f4f639745a46",
|
||
"input": "I am team leader of an Airsoft team. We have an official statewide ranking and there's a core of us who travel to play in national tournaments. I get that some people will think it's super dorky but it's my passion and it keeps me outside, in shape and with my friends. \n\n\nWe have a very strict \"military-realistic\" policy on our team in that we don't allow anime, video game stuff, fake swords, bright colors, etc... And if you want to be on our competition team, there is about $400 worth of uniform gear we require everyone to buy so we look professional and coherent. Again, this is us and people don't have to join our team. \n\n\nSo to the point, last fall this girl Madison got in touch with me to say she had just moved to town and wanted to meet people and asked if she could come to our practice. Airsoft is like 95% guys so it's not unheard of to have girls play but it's rare. When she gave me her name I was just a little curious so I did a google search and came up with her Instagram and she was (is) gorgeous, she's a literal model and a Boutine girl with about 100k followers. I figured she was just screwing with us to come out and get more dude Instagram followers by showing she was \"tomboy\" who could play with the boys. I figured that one day and a few shots with airsoft pellets would snuff her out real quick. I'm not just mentioning her looks and Instagram to be gratuitous, it's important to the story. \n\n\nSo she came out and to my total surprise, she fucking rocked it. She's actually a really good player with a good sense for the game and in the last few months she hasn't mentioned airsoft once on her Instagram. But needless to say a girl that looks like her is going to get a ton of attention on the airsoft field. We had a team meeting before she arrived that we had to treat her the same as we treat the rest of us and that we should have a rule for team spirt that no one try to date her. And I wanted to reiterate that we had to treat her exactly as we would any other member of the team, no exceptions. Everyone agreed with this but even my oldest airsoft friends bend over backwards to be just a little bit friendlier to her if that makes sense. There is no doubt that in a highly competitive sport that is 95% men, a \"hot girl\" is going to change the dynamic. It's not that I mind this at all because she was really good. \n\n\nSo my first big problem came with her just after new years when she came to the field with dyed bright red hair all done up in these little pony tail things. I told her that because of team rules, she was going to have to cover up her hair with like a camouflage beanie under her helmet. She said it was uncomfortable and took it off in the middle of a game. I called her out on it reminding her of the rules and pretty much my whole team told me I was being too much of a hard ass and I should lighten up. Even other strays (people not on a team) and other teams at the field that day came up to me and told me to chill out. After two years of having these rules, everyone was all of the sudden mad at me because I was trying to enforce the rules we all agreed on. \n\nBecause she is such a good player, we invited her to an out of state tournament coming up in March but I reiterated that I needed proof that she was ordering all the uniform gear from the various airsoft websites and it would be here in time for March. But after the hair incident I think she thinks she can blow me off because everyone will support her and she keeps telling me \"I'm working on it\" when I ask her. I mean it's literally as easy as going on a website and ordering stuff. That's all there is too it. \n\nSo things just got worse with her clothing and she pays zero regard to our military realistic rule and this past weekend she wore a fucking belly shirt and then was showing off all the welts to the other guys that she had gotten from being shot. She literally looked like a queen holding court with all the guys around her. \n\nI was so annoyed that her that I needed to talk to her, I reminded her about the military realistic rule, she said she was just hot and that she was sorry. I then asked her again about her uniform purchases. She said that she was working on it but not to worry, it would all be here. I was so fed up at this point I just said \"look I'm really sorry, but you just aren't a good fit for our team and you have to leave.\" Instead of getting mad like maybe I thought she would, she just broke down crying. Which means to everyone that was looking at us from afar I was the mean asshole making the pretty girl cry instead of just enforcing the rules we all agreed on. \n\n\nWell in like less that 5 minutes she had invites to join to other teams, pretty much EVERYONE on the airsoft field came over to tell her how sorry they were for her and how I'd always been known to be a hard ass. And then my fucking team started turning on me. Of the 19 guys on our team 5 quit that day saying they were sick of my shit and the other 13 said they at least wanted to have a meeting this week to see where we were headed as a team. Somehow a rumor got started that I had yelled at Madison and that's why she was crying so the owner of the airsoft field iced me for 3 weeks because I violated his \"no abusive language policy.\" I've known the guy for 10 freaking years and spent thousands of dollars at his field and he iced me because of rumor. This is how crazy this has gotten. \n\n\nI think everyone on my team wants to either kick me out of the leadership position or quit altogether and form a new a team. To me, I was just enforcing the rules we all agreed upon and we all agreed that we would treat her the same. I think everyone thinks I'm an asshole. Our team meeting is tomorrow night and I would love to at least get some outside opinion on whether or not I'm an asshole so I know how to go into the meeting. \n\n\nthank you for reading. \n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3d80e086be5e4b5980d6368148456323",
|
||
"input": "I guess like everything a little backstory and context helps. I have been with my wife for 3 years now I love my wife, she is with out a doubt \"the one\". \n\nShe has a group of friends that she grew up with and went to middle and high school with and she still has remained good friends with a lot of them. I think they are a wonderful group of people and generally everytime we get together it's a great time. They are a very welcoming and hospitable group and I had no problem falling in on friendly terms with a lot of them. The majority are over/out for dinner monthly.\n\nI have slowly started to notice that almost everytime we get together a subject (almost always jokingly brought up) is another one of our friends ( let's call him Jeff ) who has a, as some have referred to it \" the biggest dick they have ever seen\" \"not big, like freakishly huge\" \"you have your regular virginity, then your Jeff virginity\" type of endowment. \n\nThat being said it just seems like everyone in this group has some kinda fetish-worship about this guy and his hog, like I mentioned before, the jokes and stories they all share about different times they themselves have had sex with Jeff, or times they walked in on Jeff having sex with someone. I pointed this out to my wife after dinner Saturday about the cult like worship and her response was. \" I mean it is freakishly huge *laughs*\"\n\nMy problem with a lot of this is more complex than the way that everyone seems to obsessively talk about this guys hog. Some of it stems from the fact that my wife had a \"FWB\" relationship with him for a few years. ( 10 years ago, long before I ever met her) A lot of it I feel comes from the fact that everyone is comfortable OPENLY discussing this man's sex life.\nMaybe this is where I start to sound prude or like a baby but I don't openly discuss the kinds of kink my wife and I are into. I feel like everyone just being so nonchalant about discussing the first time they saw Jeff naked or the first time they saw Jeff fucking some random chick at a party is just.... too much\n\nThe whole thing just feels weird to me, with all of the different factors adding up, sometimes it just makes me reluctant to even agree to go out to dinner because at the end of the night regardless of where we go or what we do at some point this subject is going to be brought up and yet again I'm going to be forced to either confront the idea that my wife had sex with this guy for years or ignore it.\n\nI have tried to talk to my wife about it but at the end of the day, if the tables got turned I don't see any of it happening much less being so accepted. I would be mortified and embarrassed to sit across the table from an ex girlfriend as everyone else traded stories about having/seeing her having sex.\n\nTL;DR\n\nAITA for slowly over time wanting to exclude myself from group plans with my wife and her circle because of the constant inappropriate joking subject matter about her ex-bf/fwb's massive endowment",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-18cc4b6161844c8999d2e41ad0dfa5f0",
|
||
"input": "I'm in one of those sticky situations with my wife where she thinks I'm being a moron. She's in her third trimester.\n\nSo, yesterday I really wanted to eat some icecream. We had two buckets of our favourite mint chocolate chip ice cream in our fridge. So, I go to get some if it and it's all gone. So I asked my wife if she knew, and she told me she ate it. \n\nI asked her if she ate two buckets. She denied there were two. I understood and I couldn't control myself. I started laughing out loud. She just started crying and accused me of not believing her and called me an asshole. \n\nNow, I'm on the couch. Wtf did I even do? AITA?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-35ca19ef137f43b6a2b4c34588f6b045",
|
||
"input": "I'm transgender and all I have ever wanted is for my family to call me by my name once. But they say it's too difficult for them and that I'm too girly to really be transgender. We aren't allowed to even acknowledge it around my sister's kids because her husband doesn't want me to \"corrupt\" them. They won't allow me to stand up to my extended family who have been treating me like crap since I came out, my mom has even yelled at me to \"not rock the boat\" anymore. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ff34c619a0da4b1e93de3626e01e006e",
|
||
"input": "A little one that's bugged me for a while. \n\nI usually celebrate my birthday with volunteering. \n\nA coworker I was romantically involved with for a short while wanted to know if I wanted to get together for my birthday a few years so, while we worked together still. We had been broken up for about 8 months. She and I both wanted to be friends, and I genuinely do enjoy her conversation at times.\n\nSo thinking she wanted to take me out on my birthday, I book dinner at fancy place. She told me to go nuts with reservation.\n\nWe get together, dinner wraps up, lots of alcohol. Bill is big. I'm thinking we'll split it bc I'm not that much of a jerk. She indicates she can't afford it, she'll leave the tip. I pay a bunch for us both. I do not recall if she left a tip. She drove me home. \n\nThis was years ago. There was no discussion about who pays; I thought it customary to be taken out on birthday at no expense or someplace nice that the person paying could afford - if anyone offers to take you out on your birthday at all. \n\nI was annoyed and feel I had a right to be, but clearly I made assumptions. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a3b0da7a3266412489858e8b5ac44f7b",
|
||
"input": "My friend sent me a picture of a girl and said smash or pass? I then said smash, which he revealed that she was underage (11 years old, clothed but looked 18-20). I then jokingly said damn, would go to jail. Which my friend then posted it on Instagram along with other people he 'baited' to say smash. My girlfriend saw this on his Instagram and said how inappropriate and an asshole thing to joke about because of her age. AITA for saying this joke? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ed473fc8d92847d089fe351ebb224476",
|
||
"input": "Sister and I have had a fairly good relationship, shes 6 years younger than me (26M).\n\nShes been very hotheaded the past few years, and admittedly I was the same way at her age - essentially unable to have a conversation without you storming away upset, and incapable of taking criticism and refuses to ever say sorry.\n\nI want an apology from her for this behaviour, but everytime I try to speak to her about it in a calm way, she blows up again and storms away, restarting the whole ordeal. Havent spoken with her since a few days after xmas and its kinda made the visit back home awkward.\n\nAm I the asshole for not speaking with her until she realizes how she is acting is wrong?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-055cf70fe55e46f3a975afc78bacf98e",
|
||
"input": "So this has some back story... Around August me and my SO broke up, we had 2 kids together and the last one was born in January of 2018... Last December I made some not very choice decisions and ended up getting my new GF at the time pregnant...\n\nSo my pregnant GF just informed me that she's being treated for chlymidia... I've only been with two wemen in the past 8 years and my last SO had 2 children and got STD testings each time... I know 100% I didn't cheat and since I've been with my new GF, we've lived together for just about every day of our relationship and I kinda would have noticed she was cheating and why would she have told me..? Also my new GF had an STD test in October and it came back clean...\n\nSo I'm really confused as to how this happened but when I asked my SO to go get tested, she had a shit fit and it was not a fun time (obviously)...",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6f3ce321add84d719735fe36b992edff",
|
||
"input": "So I had gotten this summer job after returning home from university to make a little extra cash. I decided to work at this place because a couple of my friends worked there, this turned out to be a mistake on my part. I have social anxiety, which I have struggled with for years. I wouldn't say that it's severe, as I can have conversations and blend in relatively well without making any situation too awkward. However, I am terrible at starting convos and keeping them going. I often find myself at a loss for words, or I feel like it has run it's course. I am also prone to anxiety and panic attacks\n\nAs per most retail places where the goal is to selll, we had a quota to meet. As far as I know there was no real penalty for not meeting your quota, at least at this particular location, because I was never called out for it, and neither was anybody else. Nobody seemed to really care. \n\nIt would seem that my inability to keep conversations going hindered my sales goals. As I worked there for about three months and only met my goal four times. There were a few times where I barely missed it, but most of the time I made about 60 percent for the day on a four hour shift. I was very confused as to what to do most of the time, as I received conflicting information from my managers. Some of the managers wanted us to push ourselves onto the customer as much as possible, others wanted us to introduce ourselves and ask them if they needed help, and to let them do their own thing.\n\nSo one day, I'm just doing my thing and I make a sale after looking for a pair of shoes for about a minute or two, and afterwards one of the new managers, who we'll call Dave, pulled me aside and chastised me. Telling me that I need to get the merch out quicker, while also saying that my coworker who we'll call Victor, got shoes as quickly as twenty seconds.\n\nNow I think that was an unfair comparison, because at the time Victor was a manager and I was only working there for a month, he obviously knew the very large backroom better than I did. Next transaction, I bought out the shoes, made the sale, only to find out that Dave was timing me on his phone. He said it took me a minute to find the shoes and that it was too long of a time to take.\n\nAt this point my social anxiety started to take over and I was starting to have an anxiety attack. I went into the backroom so that no one would see and started hyperventilating. After collecting my thoughts, I went to Dave and told him politely but sternly that I was overwhelmed and that I wanted to quit. He told me to calm down and to not make any hasty decisions. \n\nI know it probably wasn't the best move to try and quit on the spot and I'm not proud of it in retrospect, but I still wasn't thinking too clearly at the time. He left me alone to do my job after this. AITA for putting him in a difficult situation and being unable to keep my composure in a professional environment?\n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-afa2248fc5324deea03afc35b286cbf5",
|
||
"input": "This is stilling on going this week so I’ll update as things play out, also I’ll put a TL;DR at the end. \n\nI’ve been with my current girlfriend for a little over a year. We work different shifts and do not live together so we typically only see each other one or two days during the week. \n\nWe call/time/FaceTime throughout the week and when my SO is feeling frisky, she’ll send me nude photos and we’ll engage in some sexy talk/sext. \n\nYesterday while I was at work, I got a notification that she had sent me a photo. \n\n“Oh hell yeah,” I think as I open it and see a photo of my SO’s lady bits. \n\nHowever as I’m looking at it something catches my eye. On closer inspection I notice it’s a tampon string. \n\nI reply with a “?” And she asks what’s wrong. \n\nI point out the string and she doesn’t see what the big deal is. She tells me I’m shaming her for something she can’t control. I tell her I’m not, but that I don’t want to see that. \n\nWe argue throughout the night about this, and she didn’t pick up my phone calls last night. We haven’t talked today either. \n\nAm I the asshole? \n\nTL;DR SO sent me nude with tampon visable",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7fb1ace45cac4d438f33e1d8f7884b7f",
|
||
"input": "So I was messaging my girlfriend and we were just messing around joking when she sends me a pic of her with her friend. I go into the chat and after the pic she said she’s hot. I said no, she responded yes, I said no again. She asked why. I said “I don’t find her attractive,” trying to not be mean and just say she’s ugly. My girlfriend got upset by this. ATIA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-6694751d05f4440b81a79d34ae95cec0",
|
||
"input": "Obligatory, sorry for likely mistakes, English is not my first language. \n\nQuite a soft AITA compared to the nasty stuff you see here.\n\n​\n\nBack in 2016, I was an exchange student in Poland living with other exchange students (Erasmus+ for my fellow Europeans here. It was my birthday so we threw quite a big party, lots of people, booze, beer pong you name it. \n\nWhen we were out of booze, some of my flatmates suggested I could go to the liquor store 10 meters away from the flat to resupply. I was a bit taken aback by the request and calmly said I was reluctant (money wasn't and issue)\n\n They asked me why I didn't like this idea and I explained them: In the place i've been raised and in all the birthday parties I have attended (mines or friends), the person whose birthday it was didn't have to spend a single Euro on anything because it was entirely up to the guests to buy everything. (In a house party setting, if I was celebrating in a bar, I would pay for my own drinks unless a friend offered to pay me one.)\n\nThey basically told me, since they bought me the presents, I could at least contribute to the party in some way. I was flabbergasted by such an argument , thinking it was super rude to phrase it that way.\n\n There was a bit back and forth but since it was my birthday I didn't wanna make a fuss about it and act entitled so I just went to buy the beers (and it was freaking cheap anyway). I spent a wonderful night, got shitfaced, and got really nice presents from my friends so everything went well and all was forgotten quite fast. \n\nI wasn't sure if it was a cultural thing because one my fellow French flatmates agreed with the fact that you should also buy supplies on your own bday. Maybe it was the exchange student setting where even though it's bday party, we organize it as a regular one anyway so everybody contributes, I dunno. Maybe you guys have the answer!\n\nSo, should I have been reluctant to buy booze on my own birthday party ? Did that make me TA? \n\n​",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ec23cb6e3d0b41a7b3fda517063349a7",
|
||
"input": "My girlfriend will be called Taylor, and my friend Lydia. \n\nSo, Lydia and Taylor are pretty good friends and have known each other since freshman year since they play volleyball together. I've known Lydia since middle school since we were in the gifted class together, which was just basically chilling and talking all the time, so we became friends. \n\nSo, I spend a lot of time hanging out with Lydia, because 1) she's my friend 2) we do homework together since we're in the same classes. I'm good at history and language arts, but not so great at math, and she's the opposite, so we help each other out 3) we're debate partners, so we kind of have to meet up. \n\nTaylor has been insecure of this for a while. A few days ago, she asked me if she could come to one of my meetings with Lydia. We are just meeting up at the library to go over stuff for state, which is this weekend. She's hinted before that she was jealous/suspicious. \n\nSo, to appease her, I said sure. But problem is, Taylor knows nothing about debate. But she tried to include herself in the conversation by asking all the time, 'what's that?' We tried to stop and explain, but after a while it got a little annoying, plus time wasting, to explain every little thing to her. So we brushed her off a little bit so we could focus.\n\nAnd of course, Taylor was mad at me over this, and made a big argument out of this. This argument ended up leading to us 'take a break'. \n\nAll her friends (other than Lydia) have been texting me, telling me I'm an asshole for brushing her off. In my defense, 1) she didn't have to suspicious or jealous of me. JFC, I'm her boyfriend and Lydia's her best friend. I've never done anything to indicate I can't be trusted, and yet she continued not to 2) She was at a debate meeting, before *state*, asking 'what's that' to literally everything, and it was just slowing us down. 3) I did brush her off, but I'm the asshoe for trying to prepare for my tournament and she's not for being suspicious?\n\nSo, aita?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7e3a38dd71644e25bb65dd33af59329e",
|
||
"input": "So my S/O and I live together, currently I am the only one working. I work a normal part time (getting full time soon in a few weeks) job in specialty retail, so we are frequently short on cash after rent and bills. I work about 30 hours a week. I don't drive and my S/O does takes me to work on time, every day, about 30 minutes one way. \n\nI basically refuse to do any house work while I'm home or off, except for a few basic things like emptying the dish washer, vacuuming, taking out the kitty litter trash and cooking most nights. Everything else I just don't feel the need to do, since I'm gone about 6-9 hours a day. I do ask my S/O to do the chores since they don't have a job and are currently not looking for one. They are trying to get disability for mental health reasons, but basically sit at home and play video games or go hang with friends all day. I come home to a really messy house with dirty dishes basically every day. I then clean the pots I need to use for dinner and cook for the both of us. I understand why its difficult for them to get started, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with and some effort would be great to see. \n\nMy S/O also has a habit of taking naps while I'm at work after staying up all night. I find this frustrating because I can't just take naps any time I want while I'm at work and feel tired all the time. I know this is a common symptom of mental illness and one I struggle with as well with my anxiety, but it also doesn't seem fair to me that I don't get to nap all day and come home exhausted mentally and physically all the time.\n\nI bring this up to them frequently and it always devolves into argument where I do get pretty extreme. Saying things like the time I'm at work they should be cleaning and not taking naps/playing video games ect. But honestly if they managed to clean and then decided to play video games after I wouldn't really care that much I guess. I also can go over board saying stuff like don't eat really good food without me. Like if someone is buying them food to save me some cause its not fair, since I'm not usually able to buy food like that on our restricted budget.\n\nTheir side of the argument usually revolves around how they have trouble being motivated due to mental illness and that if they weren't around I would have to go to work and do all the chores myself and expecting them to do it by themselves is basically just demanding a live in maid.\n\nSo AITA?\n\nTL;DR: I work, my S/O doesn't. I request they do the chores while I'm at work and this causes intense arguements in an otherwise happy relationship\n\n*I also purposefully left identifying genders out of this so it didn't skew the answers.*",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-496b8f2454d746dc87791904726fb240",
|
||
"input": "Here's some background, this girl used to cheat on her boyfriend with me back in high school. Well, she died recently and since then I have been dating her best friend (my current GF). My old fling's cousin (our mutual friend) has wiggled her way into my life in the past few days and she looks almost exactly like her dead cousin.\n\nI care about my GF and I obviously know that this cousin of my high school gf isn't really her, but I can't help it that they look so alike. My GF has noticed how I act around this other girl and gets upset with me. Me and the girl don't hang out alone that much and when we do we're usually in public (we live in a small town). We were all hanging out together one night when my GF just yelled at me and ran off, since then she's been distant and disappears for long periods of time. The last time she spoke to me was to say that I wasn't bright and that I should just date the other girl instead.\n\nAITA here?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-7194cad371c7465485e1d0bd1353f4a4",
|
||
"input": "I have 2 twin brothers who I’m constantly being compared to. Whenever we have an argument, my Dad always takes their side. This I never realised more up until yesterday. One of my brothers recorded a video of me doing something which I told him I didn’t want anyone seeing. A few hours later, he tells me he put it up on Instagram for everyone to see. I get angry/upset and tell him to delete it. My Dad starts telling me to calm down and regardless I’m overreacting but I told my brother I didn’t want anyone seeing. Eventually, he does delete the video but looking back on the situation now I’m a bit upset that my Dad didn’t see where I was coming from and is more on brothers side even though he showed a video of me for everyone to see without my permission. I realise he always does this.\n\nAITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-2cb3d8c048bb44498496212c8acd6c11",
|
||
"input": "Everything was perfect, then after a few fights, things just did not go back to the way it was. She hasn’t officially moved in, but is here 90% of the time. She calls it “our place.” I was at a place where I would do anything for her, but now I don’t know. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-a03744549a424180ab7271d3a7a33bd4",
|
||
"input": "Over the holidays last year I spent time with my husbands family. My MIL didnt attend the wedding so she wanted photos of my husband and I in our wedding clothes. Fair enough, we agreed. The only day before the photographer left for the holidays was the day our plane landed, and I was fairly grumpy. Long flight, no sleep, and I was 9 weeks pregnant at the time so I was just sick and cramping. The photographer and his assistant knew all of this. I was bloated, and my wedding dress didnt fit me properly, so it was unzipped in the back and I had a wrap on to hide that fact so I was feeling pretty shitty about myself. After couples photos, the photographer wanted individual shots of my husband and I. I get into a pretty generic photo pose, and smiled. They ask me to move my arm a certain way, tilt my head, whatever. I guess I wasnt doing it right, because the assistant came around and started grabbing my arms, tilting my head, kind of shifting me around for the position. I'm really irritated at this point, and I huff while shes positioning me around. Then she says \"Come on, dont you want to look thin and pretty?.\" Which set me off. I dont like being touched by strangers, I dont like taking photos, and I've always been self concious about my weight and pregnancy wasnt helping that, on top of a long flight and no sleep, so I snapped. I told her \"I don't need to look thin and fucking pretty. I'm not a fucking barbie doll, so keep your hands off me. I'm fucking done with this bullshit.\" and I stormed upstairs to the guest room (we were at my MIL's house) I was crying, my husband talked to his mom for a second then came upstairs to comfort me. I changed into comfy clothes that actually fit and after a little while I went back downstairs and apologised. We finished taking photos with everyone in comfortable clothing instead of their Sunday best, and no individual shots of me. The assistant was a bit colder towards me than she had been earlier, but she was still polite. I still feel like a huge dick about the fit I threw. So, I come to you and await your judgement. Was I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d4f9af9fc3fd4995a1982c20c5f887ae",
|
||
"input": "My wife is the bread winner in our relationship. I have medical issues that prevent me working full time at my current job. I have another job lined up, a full-time job starting next month. It's an office job, not a physically active one so I should be okay. \n\nBack on track, it's one of her 2 days off today and one of the days I work. It's been a rough couple of days for my medical conditions so I took off a little early from work. I got home and my wife was deep into her T.V. show. Instead of bugging her, I went to take a nap, later got a snack, watched youtube videos for a while. Eventually I mentioned to her that I wanted to talk about my new position. She responds:\n\n\"Can we do it *later*, I'm watching .y shows.\"\n\nI reply: \"Excuse me for wanting to have a conversation with my wife about something.\"\n\nShe says: \"You know I never get time like this, I'm watching my shows!\"\n\nI respond: \"Did I not fuck off for hours so you could have some time watching your T.V. shit? Sorry for wanting to have a 15 min conversation with my fucking wife.\"\n\nShe rolled her eyes and we've been sitting in silence since. Am I the Asshole? Should I just accept that when these days come up, I'm basically nonexistent?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-c48c074d11274ecb8ac23dcf9dbdd6ba",
|
||
"input": "Trying to accurately represent both sides here. So today is a national holiday where I live and my husband got the day off from work. This is special because a) I also work M-F and he works weekends, so it's rare we have a day off together; and b) our 7-month-old was sick recently and he was the one who stayed home with her for, so he hasn't had a day off in a month as he has been catching up since that time.\n\nSince it's a holiday and also my birthday tomorrow (but he'll have to work tomorrow), I wanted us to go out to lunch as a family. To exemplify how rare this happens, the last time we were able to all three go out together was in October. Yes, as in 2018. And *that* was our first family outing... so suffice it to say family time doesn't happen often and I want to take advantage of today.\n\nHe is refusing to go because he said he's tired from work, and has a toothache. Okay, so this is a legit toothache, but here's the thing. He has had problems with the tooth for a year. He does nothing about it (actually, he has to get it extracted and a whole bunch of dental work that we can't afford has to go along with that, so we're just waiting for the magical day we can save the money for that surgery until he can get the tooth out). \n\nSo while I understand that having a chronic toothache sucks, as does working all the time, I also think it's important to spend family time together. It's not like I'm asking him to take us on a huge excursion or anything. It's lunch. At a cheap café. Like, soups and coffee sort of deal. And he can't be bothered/tooth hurts too much.\n\nThis is the only thing I've asked for for my birthday, because we can't afford presents now that we have the baby and all. If we don't go today, who knows when the next time he'll have off will be. Could be months down the road before a day off for each of us coincides again on the same day and we can do something with our daughter.\n\nI should add that he is an *excellent* father - at home. He does more than his fair share of babycare, housework cleaning, etc... But it all stops at the door I take her to daycare and pick her up by myself M-F (b/c it's on the same side of town as my workplace), I take her to playdates, I take her to baby classes and the park and basically all of her socialization outside the house is just her and me alone, whether or not I'm tired from working all week, whether or not I'm sick or have a headache or something. It's like at home we're this great family unit but outside the house I'm a single mom.\n\nSo who's the asshole here? Am I being unreasonable for insisting he go to lunch as a bday present to me (and to spend time with his wife and kid) even though he's understandably tired, and has a legit toothache? Or is he making a mountain out of this toothy molehill?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-b3c2113bee0c4f94863b2f783db106fc",
|
||
"input": "Okay, first things first: it's tinder and I'm the big silly who thought I found meaningful connection. I'm not on it now. \n\n​\n\n\\- I don't use tinder much, certainly not for cheap sex. I guess I had it vaguely because it's a way to meet people.\n\n\\- Still managed to match with a guy who seemed nice. He messaged me first, we had great chat and went out for a brunch date when he was articulate, funny, interesting and attractive. Definitely I had gone into the date without expectations and left with them exceeded.\n\n\\- Second date is heaps of fun and he takes me out for a really nice dinner. We have great sex and hang out the next morning and I decide on the spot that I've met prince charming. YAY! I let him know that I'm interested and he responds, awkwardly, that he likes me too.\n\n\\- Okay, here's the juice. I have clinical depression and, while I'm medicated and don't expect him to 'save' me from myself, it's still there. I haven't disclosed this information.\n\n\\- The next few months shit gets wobbly. He works away and is a self-anointed poor communicator. I go through this stage of being super patient with him while ultimately feeing ignored and frustrated because every time I reach out (like once a week) I get the feeling that I'm bugging him and being the proverbial 'ugh, needy woman'. We have sex when he's in town and I feel no problem with that, but definitely feeling that I can't communicate with him because, gross, feeeeeeeeeelings. I want a straight answer as to how he sees us - together? Not? FwB? Dating?\n\n\\- He updates tinder.\n\n\\- I realise I'm [Gillian Flynn's cool girl](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/584441-men-always-say-that-as-the-defining-compliment-don-t-they)\n\n\\- He ends it: I crack and tell him I can't sit around waiting for him to remember I exist and he smoothly reciprocates that he probably needs someone more 'chill'. Ouch.\n\n\\- Over the next few months my brain packs it in. I'm not coping and I'm having obsessive thoughts.\n\n\\- He starts dating someone else. Yes, I stalked his social media.\n\n\\- I send him a long, angry text that basically calls him out on his shit behaviour, for not giving me a genuine reason for ending it. I don't say 'you used me for sex' - because I enjoyed it too - but I definitely feel disposable.\n\n \\-He doesn't respond. My friends, from the ivory tower of their smug relationships, are like 'that's tinder babe'. \n\n\\- I let him know I have severe depression. I don't know what I'm trying to achieve out of this beyond making him feel ashamed for pumping and dumping someone with a mental illness and then walking away as cool as you like.\n\n\\- I realise that I am The Crazy you're not supposed to stick you dick into.\n\n1. Am I the asshole for sending angry texts six months later?\n2. Am I the asshole for having expectations on tinder?\n3. Am I an asshole for faking being mentally stronger and more resilient than I actually am, for fear of being - shock - needy. ie. having needs.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-3dd1147117e04c2e826561441b049c9e",
|
||
"input": "Ok this one is a little complicated but I've tried my best to explain it. \n\nI've been seeing this girl for a couple months now so I know her pretty well but not completely. Basically, my girlfriend at this point but we haven't made it official. \n\nI'm back home visiting my family so the other day, I sent her a picture of me and my cousins hangin out, expecting her to say something like \"aw that's a cute pic\". But she proceeds to nitpick something about the picture, the details of which are not important to the story. I was a bit annoyed saying these little details she's nitpicking on aren't important, just focus on me and my cousins. This wasn't such a big deal to me, these things happen. \n\nHowever, she said she did say it was a cute pic. So I scrolled up thinking I missed her comment but I saw no such message. I took a screenshot of her non-message and sent it to her. I was expecting her to send a screenshot as well with her message but she didn't. So I asked her to send a screenshot of her message cause I just had to see it for myself. I know it's not really trusting of me to ask that instead of just taking her word for it but that's what I did. She ignores it completely and keeps on with the convo. I asked her again about the screenshot and this time, she seems or acts confused. I told her I asked for a screenshot and she said that she didn't get that message and sent me a screenshot with that message missing. At this point, alarm bells are going off in my head. Is it possible that she deleted the message I sent asking for the screenshot, took a screenshot after that and sent it to me? How is it possible that two very convenient crucial messages didn't go through? One supposedly that she sent that didn't go through (her saying it was a cute pic) and another one that I sent asking for the screenshot. By the way, the message that I sent asking for the screenshot is showing up as 'Seen' so she MUST have seen it right? \n\nI called her out on this and she was shocked and completely plead ignorance. She said her phone's been acting up and that I should believe her over a phone. I should also say that I'm overseas and my internet connection is not very fast. I pressed her a bit more about sending me a screenshot of her initial message and she finally sent it to me. The message that she said she sent (cute pic) wasn't in it. And then she said that's probably because it didn't go through or that maybe she typed it out and didn't actually press send, which sounded like complete bs to me. So after a back and forth of asking her to admit it and her not admitting it and sticking to her story, we're pretty much at a stalemate and still fighting about it. I know it sounds like I'm the one being petty here but the evidence against her is there. I don't put anything past anybody and I feel like people are capable of anything. I had an ex, for example, who would log into my fb account and look at my messages. It might not be fair to compare this girl to that ex but I can't help but operate on my history. Part of me wants to believe her but there is clearly another much bigger part that simply can't let this go. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-61fcc92a8c3e4eaead90edc98436a168",
|
||
"input": "Okay so my friend (17F) has been talking to this guy (idk how old, around the same age). They’ve been subtly flirting as friends for about two months now. Recently it’s escalated and became obvious that they’ve liked each other for a while. They’ve been flirting more and it’s on a sexual side now. \n\nOne thing he said was “so you can be my sub and I can be your dom, that makes you mine”. He said this at like the beginning of them starting to flirt more sexually, so it was still new for them. She said “okay but if I’m yours does that mean I’m only yours? because if it does than that has to mean you’re only mine” Basically implying that they’d be exclusive or she doesn’t want a relationship with him, sexual or not. \n\nThen, he said “that’s where it gets tricky”. So of course she was upset thinking he didn’t even want a relationship. The next day he explains that he has more subs and she wouldn’t be the only one.. he said some manipulative stuff making her believe she would still be the most special one. I don’t doubt he said that to all of the other girls. \n\nFast for award to today, he tells her this: \n\n “Well I'm polyamorous idk if that makes any difference to you but I feel like why cant I make more than one person happy or satisfied and i just simply feel like I would want to do that with you because it would make me even happier. And because of that the absolutely worst thing and what I definitely dont want is to hurt you so this is why communication with me is super important Idk how I would be able to explain that more but I'm not saying I feel like something is missing from my other sub it's just that I want to have you as a sub that's happy with the way things are. Idkkkk how I could exaplain it in a way that makes sense and its driving me nuts” \n\nTo me, it looks really manipulative and like he’s guilty tripping her into being okay with it. I brought that up and she said she doesn’t know what she wants. I told her how it sounds like he’s trying to justify having more than one girl at once. Especially since he doesn’t REALLY expect them to be all together at once, he really just wants to be able to talk to all of them at the same time and the girls don’t have contact with each other. He says he wants 3-4 girls. \n\nThe reason I’m questioning my friend is because a few days earlier she told me she really liked him and might want a relationship with him, and how she doesn’t want him to be talking to other girls. \n\nBut now it seems like he’s been slowly incorporating this idea into their conversations and making her think this is what she wants. \n\nMy friend and I have been best friends since 2012. She’s been completely honest with me about this situation with him and even she is getting a feeling that it’s sketchy. But, she’s been getting defensive because she’s liked him for a while and doesn’t want to accept that he’s doing this. \n\nSo AITA for trying to make her see that he’s bullshitting her? AITA for assuming he’s not being honest? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fd5f0c34b334474fbb2ad37c82f66334",
|
||
"input": "So for the past 3 days, my manager had been out sick with some sort of stomach bug. Then my coworker had it yesterday & called out. And now, apparently it's my turn. I was up last night feeling like death.\n\nBut, when I called out this morning, I found at that my coworker who called out yesterday called out again today, & everyone who's off today (my manager & 2 other girls) says they're busy...so no one is going to be running the store. And now I feel like an asshole. This is the first time I've ever called out of a job & I know it's warranted & that I deserve to get that right if others do & blah blah blah but now I just feel like such a dick. If I had known no one would be there today I would have just tried to get some rest last night and come in anyway. Should I just have gone in anyway when I knew no one was going to be there? AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-776952d815db4d69ab627f8b1ad64f43",
|
||
"input": "Maybe this should be in r/relationshipadvice sorry in advanced \n\nAnyways, I’ve been with my SO for a while, we’ve had ups and downs, nothing any normal couples wouldn’t experience. We’re both in our late 20s and have been living together for a couple of months. \n\nI’ve always imaged having a dog once I’ve had my own place, that’s always been my plan. I had a dog as a child/ teen and loved it to death. I haven’t been able to have a dog because of space/ time/ financial reasons. But in the near future I really want to adopt. My point is, this is very important to me.\n\nMy SO however does not want a dog. Ever. They have been wish-y wash-y about the idea since we started dating. But I figured “who could hate dogs? I’ll convince them”. Nope. We pet sat a mutual friends dog this weekend and my SO was not having it. Definitely confirmed they never want a dog. And I was honestly really turned off at how my SO even didn’t want to even pet it.\n\nI know this seems petty, and I probably shouldn’t have assumed that I could change my SO’s mind about dogs. But I just can’t imagine my future without a dog. Is this dramatic?\n\nTL;DR I love dogs and want one in the future. SO hates dogs and refused to ever have one. AITA for potentially breaking up with them because of this?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4a12f13a2342472f910859f92fc614f8",
|
||
"input": "For a little backstory, my gf and I have been together for almost 4 years, living together for 3. We are both 20 with full time jobs but she doesn't have her drivers license yet. For a while now she's made a habit of going up to her grandmother's house in a city that is a little more than half an hour away to see her and her mom. I have tried putting my self in her shoes but I just can't understand this. She says it's so she can practice driving but I know she only does that for a couple hours at most. There used to be a time where the normal weekend for me would be her mom picking her up from work on friday and then her staying the ENTIRE weekend until I have to pick her up monday night from work. It's taken a serious toll on me as we both work a lot so we don't get to spend a whole lot of time together during the weekdays. I told her how this makes me feel and she's stopped going for that long a while ago, but now this weekend she wants to leave to go to her 6 y.o cousin's bday party today (saturday) and then stay all the way thru sunday night and have me pick her up again on monday. I'm really trying not to be a controlling boyfriend and try to understand her POV but it is just infuriating to me that she always does this. We have a home. We have a place to live. You do not need to be going over there to spend the nights like you're an adult not a little kid. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-4a6d6a25910c4dc7942f71c1bb761101",
|
||
"input": "Some back story to this. I have 2 older brothers that went across the country to work in Los Angeles at a 5 star hotel and spent there summers living it up in LA while I was stuck at home getting fat. My parents excuse was that I can’t handle the job or control myself there which I proved them wrong. I’ve held a job at a restaurant for 7 months now never having any issues with my co workers or with customers. Which was there main concern. I’ve brought it up to my parents that I want this more than anything and I still get it turned around and made to look like the asshole. Am I the asshole for asking for equal opportunities. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-03f2de22ff0b43eb9a8d378a2104e1d9",
|
||
"input": "This isn’t a particularly complex one.\n\nMy older brother constantly does things to intentionally piss me off and so I avoid doing stuff with him. My parents act like I’m the one being a dick in this situation despite acknowledging that my brother intentionally tries to piss me off. I don’t think I’m the asshole but my family seems to think otherwise, so am I the asshole? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-cd9f10799f5e4123b1e66364c49e44af",
|
||
"input": "I became friend with a girl from my same class in college about 6-7 months ago. But our friendship really took off when she had a breakup with her boyfriend and she needed someone with her. We use to just talk with each other but after sometime we started holding hands and slowly we did some other simple stuff too. But now she says she kinda has feelings for me and she thought that i also had feelings for her but i didn't and i was just kinda enjoying the physical thing between us. The bigger problem was when she started saying to me that she wants to marry me and i'm like i can't take these kind of decision so early. Also, she isn't the kind of person i'd want to marry so it was a no. But now she is upset from me because i was just in it for the physical stuff and had no feelings all along.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-ee68c786937f42cc9307386d4c556c50",
|
||
"input": "So a few years back my wife (GF at the time) and I met up with some friends for a birthday dinner. We were introduced some new people, including a newly married couple. \n\nAnyway, after dinner, we were all invited to go hang out at the Married Couples apartment. They had just moved there, and wanted to show off the place.\n\nWhile hanging out, they very nicely offered refreshments, and we sat around while they talked about how they had just used all their savings to move in and buy all brand new furniture, including the rug under my feet.\n\nWell, I looked down, and I just couldn’t help noticing something odd about it. The pattern in the rug was sort of, window/box like. But upon further inspection, it was plain to see. Nazi Swastikas symbols were accidentally all over the pattern. \n\nIt was one of those, once you see it, you can’t unsee it.\n\nIf I had a picture of the rug, I’d have put it on the crappydesign subreddit immediately. But this was a few years ago, and this story just came to mind now.\n\nAnyway, I thought about it for a few minutes whether I should tell them about the pattern in the rug, or just let them live blissfully without ever knowing.\n\nBut deep down I just felt bad, and especially since they were a nice Jewish couple. I’m half Jewish, so I know I’d wanna know.\n\nSo I told them. I had just met these people, and now they knew they had a secret Nazi rug that they just spent a lot of money on.\n\nI never spoke or saw them ever again. But I’m going to assume they got rid of the rug and bought a new one.\n\nAm I the asshole for telling them, resulting in them most likely having re-purchase another expensive rug?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-70de37ef4cb941e2ae6eaef9dd036161",
|
||
"input": "Okay, so I stay at my girlfriend's house 2-3 nights a week, it was fine at first. The issue is she has 2 cats that have no boundaries and do not listen at all. I wake up at minimum 3-4 times a night with a cat literally on my face, sneezing on my face, or digging it's claws into part of me. \n\nWe can't lock the cats out of the room because they will tear apart the carpet, they don't listen, if I put them off the bed they hop right back on. I tried voicing my concerns to her but was told \"it's their bed, what do you expect\". I have two dogs and have trained them to listen and to stay off things they don't belong on, that's what I expect.\n\nEverytime I sleep there I wake up pissed off because my sleep was interrupted multiple times, she gets pissed at me being grumpy and gets even more pissed off when I say something because \"I'm insulting her babies\" \n\nShe makes it out as me being a jackass for not being okay with this but I don't think a reasonable person should be okay with it.\n\nOpinions? Aita???",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9a1ce7fb036e482cae40104b23df918d",
|
||
"input": "Some context for the story. My friend, let’s call her Maria, and our friend group have been friends for 6 years. We’re all very close and are almost like sisters.\nAbout 5 years ago, she met her friend who’s not in our friend group. Now, I’m pretty sure we were all open to the idea of being friends with her too, until she expressed how much she hated us. It’s not even just being “fake”, she doesn’t even try. Her reasoning for being that way towards us is because she thinks Maria can do “a lot better” than us. For example, she’ll text Maria and ask “where are you?” And she’ll respond “I’m with my friend group”. And her friend literally responds “ew” whenever our names are mentioned.\nThe other day, I was joking about picking between us or her other friend. Although I was joking, I almost meant it. I don’t want her to pick sides but in my opinion, it makes us uncomfortable that she overlooks it.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-03a6e7e4cb664466a55b41dcb271e3de",
|
||
"input": "So recently, my long time SO and I broke up. When we started dating she was my boyfriend, but she came out to me as trans. I really wanted to give it a try because I loved her- but we found we weren’t sexually compatible anymore, so instead of dragging the relationship out and resenting each other we decided to mutually split so we could maintain our friendship. It has been so much better now- and it almost feels like I gained a sister rather then lost a partner.\n\nHere is the problem. We had been living with my parents and paying rent. I had been on disability and could barely afford to live, and then my family needed help financially so we paid a good amount of rent and everyone was fine with the arrangement. They called my SO their family and loved her.\n\nWhen we broke up, we obviously planned on her finding a new place to stay. Sharing a room was a little tight for us anyway and we though more personal space now that we weren’t dating was good.\n\nWe didn’t even get a chance to tell my parents that.\n\nLess than 24 hours after we broke up my parents said she had 2 weeks to get out. I was shocked because they had never been hostile to her before- and they couldn’t even wait a few days to tell us she needed to move out. My ex is really hurt by this- her family was not supportive of her coming out and my family had become her adoptive family. She feels like she lost yet another family.\n\nI tried to talk to them about this and they just said ‘this is hard for us too’ and wouldn’t talk to me at all. Luckily we have a friend who happened to have a spare room for a good price offer my ex a room so we are moving her out in time, but my feelings are really hurt.\n\nI didn’t expect her to keep living with us- and it’s their house so I respect their rules- but we paid rent and having them spring this on us less than 24 hours after we broke up really has caused a rift between us. \n\nSo, AITA for being really upset with them? I’m honestly having a hard time imaging how I’ll forgive them. \n\n",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-9a661b3a1ef245cfa86d991a065dc74a",
|
||
"input": "I was in a big meme group chat with 300+ people in it and I posted \\[this reaction image\\]([https://i.imgur.com/IIF96Bb.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/IIF96Bb.jpg)) . Since I am white, I was called out by a black girl for posting it. She, and several others, said I should not have used the meme because of the use of the N-word. My argument was that since I didn't make the meme, I wasn't \"voicing\" the opinion of the creator. I see it as the same thing as if I were to link a song with heavy use of the N-word. \n\nI honestly do not feel any hatred or disdain for anyone based on things they cannot like sex, race, sexual orientation, etc. But I was raised in the South with a bunch of true racists and little diversity so maybe I am lacking perspective. \n\nI was kicked from the group, but it would be nice to hear impartial judgement. ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f63a1c85d30b47e0b22df7f832ad31ac",
|
||
"input": "Now this has to do a lot with my parents past.\n\nI (17m) life with my mother, my half brother (another father) and my full sister.\n\nMy parents had me when they were in their very early 20s. After my mun was pregnant with me, my dad said he wanted to teach me piano (he was a music teacher at a local school). My mum agreed. As soon as I was born, my dad showed his bad sides, gambling, drinking, smoking a lot. When I turned 5, he taught me to play the piano, well taught would be wrong, as he more or less beat the lessons into me. My mum didn't know about it as I didnt say anything. during the span of one year, he became more and more violent, hitting my mum and even attacking her with a knife once whilst drunk. My mum decided to leave him in a rush, for the sake of our safety. Now I don't know if this has to do anything with it, but I was a rough child. my mum had to give up a job, as she had to constantly go to the kindergarden or school, whenever I misbehaved (fighting and doing dumb shit). I got diagnosed with ADHD and my mum decided to resort to medicine (I don't blame her). It worked out and I behaved well. Fast forward a bit and I'm 14. We're on a vacation to see my dads parents who I haven't seen in 12 years (so never really). My dad was also there at that time with his new daughter, about 5 years old. I really liked her as she's been the kind of little sister I've always wanted. My little sister was never on good terms with me, dunno why tbh. \nFast forward 2 days and we're still there. A stupid family arguement breaks out with two sides. The agressive A-Holes including my father and his bitch sister who claimed that my cousin punched her son (she didn't) and the ones that wanted to talk, including all of my family, my cousin, my grandparents and some other cousins. My dad goes to attack one of the male cousins with a pipe which he blocks. fight ends as soon as my dads older brother arrives. He tells us to leave for our own safety (in a kind way, gave us money for a hotel) and apologised for his siblings behaviour. This incident was the last time I saw my dad. \n\nI also need to add, that I am still playing piano and if it wasnt for me learning the piano, I wouldn't have got to known the most amazing person I've ever met, who made my life so much more joyable. I know that she would've wanted me to meet up with my dad as well. I'm grateful to my dad that he gave me this gift.\n\nNow here comes the thing:\nMy mother has been badmouthing my dad forever, and tbh most of those things I would say sound like things he'd do. But I don't hold grudges against people, as life is simply to short for that. My mother on the other hand still hates him and I understand. \nHe contacted me and my sister in November 2018, if we wanted to meet up every two weeks again. My sister instantly said no. I don't blame her, She barely got to know this man, only a few times and he just jelled and had a pipe in his hand. I on the other hand agreed. Now I do have the right to see my dad and my mother or anyone else can't do anything against it. She got pissed at me for saying yes, calling me a \"betrayer\" (haven't heard that for the first time) and saying \"do you know what I had to go through, do you know how much therapy I needed to get past his abuse?\"\nWell I said no but I still wanted to see him. \nWe somehow ended the arguement and left it open. My dad contacted me last week, saying he wanted to meet me. How'd he get my number? I didn't care. All I cared about was if he's the real guy. So I asked a couple of questions which he got right. He told me his wife got a second child after the first one and they want to meet their big brother. Now, he did contact my sister but she instantly blocked him. I didn't tell my mum. Instead I told we'd meet at a café and I'd bring along a friend. Time comes and we're at the meeting and talking about how things are. He invites us to his place and we meet the girls. They are lovely and I love both of them. The wife is also very kind and caring. I left with a positive attitude.\nI went home and told my mum that \"oh yeah, today I met up with dad\"\nshe just asked \" what do you mean\" so I told hee the same thing I just told you guys. Shw gets furious, screaming at me that she told me not to do it and even if, I needed her permission. \nThe incident spread throughout the family in an hour and I got threats from different family members. One said he'd take away my laptop, console and piano (all things I paid for with my part time job money) to which I replied he can go ahead, as I wont back down about meeting him regularily. He took the laptop and the console. well I wanted to go to the police about it but my mum said she'd not file a complaint (I needed parental confirmation or some shit like wtf) \nThe piano stayed as my mum convinced her brother/my uncle to stop it).\nI'm in this situation where I don't know what to do. \nI understand my mothers worried actions, but she needs to understand how I feel too (which is always last priority in this family).\n\nAITA, does ESH or is NTA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-201992430dbb4153bb67cbd1c4c0ff2e",
|
||
"input": "I go to college 3 hours away from where me and my gf live so I stay in accommodation up there and only see her on weekends. She was working Friday saturday Sunday and Monday(I had no college monday) so I only spent 3 hours with her during the whole weekend. I had a dentist apt at 2.30 at home and I was gonna get the bus to college after that apt and me and my gf were free all morning (she had work at 4), so she went into the city to do some shopping and I met up with her in there. We were together for 30 min which she spent shopping for clothes (it was her only chance to do some shopping) and I had just bought a pizza slice and say down with her when she said she had to go meet her friend to buy her friend some clothes for the event they're both going to, and gave me a few kisses and left. I was pretty annoyed that she just got up and left because imo she didn't have to meet up with her friend at all she just chose her friend over me. She says she's not superwoman but I don't think I'm unreasonable for expecting my gf to spend more time with me. AITA?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-92c596c60d6249829351a4bbbae7042c",
|
||
"input": "I am in a class in university that consists of only juniors and seniors. In this class, I sit in the second row all the way to the left. It being a higher level class that doesn't always take attendance, many people decide not to show up to class, so there are often empty seats around me. However, I always sit next to my friend and there is always someone sitting in front of me.\n\nAn assignment for the class is to write an Op-Ed, basically a short opinionated article. As part of the assignment, everyone in the class was randomly assigned two others to peer review their article.\n\nOf the two I was assigned, one was pretty good. They had a few grammatical errors and their points were a little confusing at times, but overall decent. I also didn't know too much about their topic to begin with.\n\nThe second one I reviewed was a train wreck at best. There were so many grammatical errors that I couldn't even read through the paper once without having to make corrections. Their sentence structure was so bad that I had to stop and try to parce out what it was supposed to say. I also knew a lot about this topic since I had written a paper on it a semester ago. They had the basic idea about the topic, but they left out a huge part of it that was really important to their point they were making. All of that I left in my review that had my name attached to it online, but I didn't know who the person really was.\n\nAs class was ending the other day, my friend and I's conversation drifted to the Op-Eds that we had reviewed as people were packing up to leave. It turns out that he had looked at the first one I reviewed for fun and he had liked it as well. The other one he reviewed had some issues, but was ok overall. I told him about the topic that my second reviewed Op-Ed was about and what the person had left out. I reffered to the grammatical errors and bad sentence structure as a \"hot mess\" as I complained.\n\nI started to hear someone near me saying \"hey\" to get my attention and I looked up at the person who sat right in front of me. They informed me that I was talking about their paper and then walked away. My friend and I got real quiet and he gave me a 'you really screwed up now' face. I said that I stand by what I said, since basically all the things I mentioned were in my review online that had my name attached to it anyway.\n\nNow I'm not sure if I should feel bad about trash talking someone's paper and them calling me out for it.",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-f8e1a287a438471c9568f6183b22d559",
|
||
"input": " So i have this best friend we'll call her ash and like i've recently started going over to her house and she's shy and has anxiety so it's hard for her to make new friends so she's always so excited when we hangout. Here's where the problem starts, my mom is doing this event thing and she wants my friend to come over to our place for a bit so she can take pictures. I think this is a great idea i'll get to show her my room and stuff but she says it'll be awkward. It wasn't a no but I was feeling pretty mad at it and i asked her what she meant by awkward and she said \"well i've never been there and there might not be enough things to do and stuff\" and my mom got upset too she was talking to me about it and she said \"I don't get it, why can you come over and have fun but the moment you mention even slightly coming over to YOUR house she doesn't even have to think to say no?\" of course my mom was exaggerating but i kinda felt the same way. My mom lives in an apartment building, she owns a hair shop and is going to get a house soon but for now the salon and her kids are her priorities right now. Am i an asshole for being upset? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-82d8c520b59d450eb0fdacffb60aa113",
|
||
"input": "I've had a gmail account from the beginning, and my email address is the title of a very popular cult movie. The downside is that I get a ton of mail from people that use it as a throwaway or by mistake. I've had people use it to sign up for Ashley Madison, which could pose an issue for q married guy like me, I received 50 bucks via PayPal by accident (immediately returned it without being asked) and countless email addresses, facebook accounts and the like have been created with my email as the primary address. I find this irritating so recently I've been recovering passwords from these accounts and locking them out by changing passwords. Recently someone started a Bethesda account and bought some software with my email, so I changed the password to their account and the next morning had a bunch of password reset requests in my inbox so obviously the person wants to log back in. It pisses me off that people don't think of the fact that the email address they're using as a throwaway is in fact my email address that they're spamming. AITA? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-fbc9cde30fe242a18882ab7529e16d7f",
|
||
"input": "He telling me stories about his hard times, I tried to help him but he's not willing to change, he's just constantly walked away from the conversation and I was thinking why do I even bother, am I the asshole?",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"not answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
},
|
||
{
|
||
"id": "task503-d18de238e3424b93826c7f466037000b",
|
||
"input": "I have an exceptionally emotionally abusive brother which and I will cut absolutely all ties after moving out. \n\nWould that be rude if i don't tell my girlfriend or anyone that I have a brother at all? And if so, what should I do? ",
|
||
"output": [
|
||
"answerable"
|
||
]
|
||
}
|
||
],
|
||
"Instance License": [
|
||
"Apache 2.0"
|
||
]
|
||
} |